Life's Left Hook

Fuck.

Well, Octavia said it was a tall building.

'Cant miss it.'

You look up, hopeful for an easy fix.

Well...

No such luck.

Tall buildings surround you.

Not a chance of finding your destination.

After a sigh, you figure you had better do what you do best.

Wing it.

With that, you walk along main street.

Well, 'Mane Street'.

Fucking horse puns.

As you walk along, you look at the fantastic buildings in the cities.

They're a bit smaller than Detrot, but they're much, much more aesthetic.

You WANT to look at most of them, oddly enough.

The pegasi certainly knew what they were doing.

You bring your gaze back down to look at the streets.

Lights are everywhere, and they're more polychrome than Detrot.

Even the damned streetlamps glow rainbows.

Sheesh.

Chuckling to yourself, you keep walking, looking around at the city.

The place you're in appears to be a long road of malls, shops, and such.

Ads and people with shopping bags are abound.

Well, now you know where to go later to get anything you might need.

Oh, hey! Look! It's a toy shop!

You see colts and fillies bouncing about, toys, boxes, and colorful playthings in hand.

Plushies, flags, squirt guns, Legos...

The whole nine yards.

Looks like a nice store, too.

A thought passes your mind, and giving it a shrug, you figure, why the hell not.

Scootaloo would probably love you if you bought her something nice.

From what you can tell, her family must be poor as hell.

She probably never gets anything like this.

With that in mind, you take a step forward into the toy shop.

And immediately regret your decision.

"Whoooa..."

"DUDE!"

"Wow!"

"What the hay is that thing?"

"Mommy!"

"I think it's a monkey."

"It smells funny."

"Why is it bald?"

"EEP!"

Just like that, the little scampering things are on you like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a bucket of bleach in a toilet bowl in the middle of a Sibearian snowstorm.

All of them are asking questions, showing various emotions.

Shocked, confused, curious, scared, indifferent, disgusted, surprised, It's like a little rainbow of emotions by your legs.

Chuckling a bit, you carefully sift through the kiddies and make your way to the counter.

The clerk looks up at you.

Older guy, in his 40s, it seems, that has a nice mustache.

Thankfully, he doesn't give off a pedo vibe.

"Well, hello there, big fella!" he says, smiling. " 'Nonymous, right?"

You were a bit surprised, and you look down at him with a cocked eyebrow.

"That would be me. How did-"

"Well, butter my buns an' call me Sally! Hah! Yer the third celebrity to walk in taday!"

He chuckles a bit, absolutely beaming.

"How do you know who I am?"

He almost laughs out loud at you, looking at you in disbelief.

"Really?! REALLY?! HAH! How could Ah NOT know ya?! Yer face is plastered on every newspaper from here ta Canterlot! New arrival from a different land, stands on two legs and ain't got no hair? Yer famous, bucko!"

You smile sheepishly, scratching the back of your neck.

"Well, that's... Good to know, I suppose."

The clerk closes his eyes, shaking his head and letting out another hearty chuckle.

"Anyhow, I got a bit sayin' you ain't here ta jus' talk. How can Ah help ya?"

You look around, relieved that the topic changed.

"I know a filly. I wanted to get her a gift, since I know she's around. Kinda tomboyish, really energetic. What can I get for her?"

He considers your words, scratching his chin.

"Hmm... Well, what does she like? Anythin' in particular stand out?"

You nod.

"Scooters. She loves her little scooter."

"Oh! I know a few things! Wut's yer budget?"

You shrug.

"There really isn't a budget, actually."

The stallion blinks, looking up at you.

After a pause, he coughs a little and gets back on track.

"Hmm, well then. Ah suppose Ah can show ya a few things. Motorized sound fun?"

"Yeah, probably better than manual."

"One of 'em's got a nice battery. It rolls real nice, and it's built to last."

"Best of all, it comes with a mount."

"A mount?"

The old stallion chuckles, nodding.

"Yeah, a mount."

"For what?"

"Two high-powered squirt guns, one on each handlebar

Scootaloo on a high-speed electric scooter with two mounted squirt guns?

She would wreak havoc.

But you know she'd have a total blast doing it.

You were sold!

"All right, sounds perfect for the little filly. How much?"

"With tha helmet, pads, battery, an' everythin' yer gonna need, it'll be around seventy-five bits."

Ouch.

"Seventy five? Sure thing."

Sounds like it'll be worth it.

"Got a warranty, or something?"

He nods.

"Three months."

"Great. That's all I want, then."

With that, you reach into your pouch and start counting out bits.

The cashier watches carefully as you do so, making sure it's right.

Even though he's in a bit of disbelief, he still keeps his senses.

And, after counting all 75, he scoops them all into a bag and sets them aside.

"All righty then. Now, jus' stay right here, son. I'll get you that scooter."

With that, he trots into the back behind a pair of double doors.

He comes back with a large cardboard box.

No stickers, no pictures

Just a cardboard box.

"All righty then, here ya go," he says, setting it on the counter. "Everything's in there -- squirt guns, all the parts, and a charged battery."

"Anythin' else, mister?"

Cadance is already going to kill you.

No sense making it worse.

"Nah, just the scooter."

"Sounds good," he says, smiling wide. "Thank you. Have a good day."

"That filly's gonna loooove you..."

You chuckle, turning around and headed out the door.

"Oh, yes, I know she will."

With that, you kick open the doors and walk out.

You hear the other kids making a ruckus behind you as you leave, and giggle a bit.

Adorable little things...

You make your way down the streets, trying to find your way back to your hotel.

And you were hopelessly lost.

Great.

You're half-tempted just to walk back to the sex shop.

You'd probably find Cadance there, anyway.

Damned nympho.

After a disgruntled sigh, you look forward.

The colorful lights are amazingly bright.

It's almost like it's daylight out...

As you're walking, you suddenly feel something tug on your trousers.

Must be snagged on something.

Confused as hell, you look down, and see a pair of bright purple eyes looking back up at you.

"HEY ANON!"

You blink, taken by surprise.

After a beat, you pull out of the traffic of the sidewalk and respond.

"Hey Scoots," you say, looking down at her. "What's up? Didn't you say you were going to a friend's house?"

She nods. "Well, yeah! I am! I just wanted to stop by the toy store first before I went over! I just walked out and I saw you walking in! And you just walked out with a big box."

As soon as she mentions this, you scramble to look at the box and see if there's a logo or anything on it that might spoil the surprise.

After finding nothing, you nod.

"Yeah, I got somethin' for a friend of mine."

"Oh, cool! Who?"

"Oh, the grey one you saw earlier."

"Oh, the fancy one I heard about. The one that got her cello wrecked at the gala?"

That brings out a deep internal sigh from your chest.

"Yyyes, that one..."

You heard that story at least once a month, whenever she was in a bad mood.

Which was almost never, thankfully, but still.

"Octavia's her name."

"Why'd you go into a little kid's store, though? Wouldn't she want something more, like, grown up?"

that sends so many thoughts through your head

pull your shit together son you need to keep up the ruse

"Reasons."

Good Enough

Scoots gives you a quzzical look. "Uh, okay, I guess. What're you doing now?"

"Trying to find my way through this concrete jungle. I need to find my way to the hotel."

Immediately, her face brightens, and she beams up at you.

"I-I can help you with that! I know this town better than my own tail!"

"Really now?"

Really.

That was unexpected.

"Come here often, I take it?"

"Once a year, usually. Visit family and friends and stuff."

"Oh, nice."

You've never seen her family.

That's an odd thought, but not surprising.

Whoever they are, they must not be around much.

They probably have jobs working at the rainbow factory or something.

"Where you staying?"

After a moment of thought, she responds.

"Place called Bellevue. South of the city, on a smaller cloud."

Must be some hotel or some apartment complex.

"Ah, gotcha."

"Anyway, mind leading me back to the hotel? 'Lay Hot', or something. It's Prench?"

"Wow, that place? I'm surprised you don't have a top hat and a curly mustache like a guy in Ponopoly."

"Royalty has perks," you say. "Cadance and Octavia booked the rooms, so..."

"Yeah, I can see that. Anyway, come on, let's go."

After a short walk and some small talk, you're at the front door of the hotel.

As the two of you walk up to the front door, Scoots looks up at you.

"This is it!"

"Great. I had better get up there and tell Candy I'm here."

"Candy?"

FUCK.

Scootaloo starts to giggle a little, covering her mouth with her hoof.

"Y-You mean... Cadance?"

She starts giggling even harder.

God damnit.

You look down at her with a bit of a serious look.

"Look, Scoots? I didn't say that. Don't tell anyone."

She starts giggling uncontrollably.

"Y-you-heheheh! Y-You... O-okay, I'll shut up... Heheheh."

Letting out a sigh, you nod.

"Thanks, Scoots. Meet me at the cafe after the concert?"

"Y-Yeah. Sure."

She was still giggling like an idiot.

And, as irritated as you are, you can't stay mad with that adorable giggle and that cute face.

You smile, and step inside of the hotel.

"See ya later."

"See ya, 'Non. Heheheh, Candy..."