Life's Left Hook

You oblige, taking off whatever clothes you had on and putting them right outside the door in a heap.

Both of the mares are in the shower by the time you get done dressing.

You step inside behind them, and realize that this hotel was designed with one fatal flaw.

It was not meant for humans.

The showerhead is about nipple hight, if even.

And, although it was 'roomy' for pony standards, and all of you are able to fit, you can't help but feel like Will Ferrel in Elf.

You sigh, sitting down on your naked keister and wrapping your arms around your legs.

The mares take notice of your unique problem, and giggle at you a bit.

"Sorry, hun," Cadance says, grabbing a bottle of shampoo. "Not much we can do."

"At least Equestrian showers are designed with most races in mind. I'm really sorry, Anonymous," Octavia says, grabbing a soap bar and sliding it over to you.

You grab it, and bregudgingly start rubbing your armpits.

"Yeah, I know," you say, grumbling. "It's fun, feeling like a colossus."

"To be fair, you are a colossus, in comparison," Octavia says, scrubbing her mane with vigor.

"Yeah, I guess."

You were defeated, and you just went back to lathering yourself in whatever soap you were given.

"Need some help with that?" Cadance asks, noticing you're bending at odd angles to get your back.

"Yeah, please."

With a hum, Cadance moves behind you and takes the soap bar out of your hands.

"Humans are weird... I mean, not in a bad way, but... Everything's... Different."

"Huh? Oh, come on, I'm not that different."

"Yes you are! You're bipedal, for starters. You don't have any fur anywhere. Actually, I take that back. You don't have much at all, spare your legs, crotch, and face. And your mane is really short and stubby."

"And his teeth! His teeth scared me the first time I saw them," Octavia says, sticking her head under the showerhead. "...It's why I was so afraid to kiss you before."

You blink looking up at her as Cadance runs the soap bar along your back.

"Wait, what? How long were you thinking of making out with me?"

"...Erm... Well, it was a long time, and I had a plan, but, the time was never... Right."

"So you were just going to skip right to the makeout scene?"

After a pause, she looks down, and the realization hits her.

"That's probably why the time never felt right, isn't it?"

"Hey, I'm not saying it wouldn't have worked..."

With that, you motion for Cadance to back up, and you rise to your feet.

You grab a bottle of shampoo and squirt some into your hand as Octavia speaks.

"Well, I know it would have worked now. Your libido is just..."

"Just as bad as mine?" Cadance asks, taking the shampoo bottle from you.

"Precisely."

"Well, golly fucking gee, thanks."

"I never said that it was a bad thing, Anonymous," Octy says, stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel.

Meanwhile, you bend forward and run your head under the water.

You close your eyes tight. The last time you got soap in your eyes, you ended up in the ER.

And you were across the hall from some obnoxiously loud mare who wouldn't stop reading her damn books out loud.

That sure was fun, but it's not happening again.

You get all of the shampoo out of your hair, and then stand up, careful not to smack your head.

After you step outside of the shower, you grab the nearest towel and start drying off.

This is incredibly easy for you, since you aren't covered in fur.

Soon after, Cadance steps out, and grabs two towels.

Octavia has one wrapped around her head, and one around her torso, much like one would see at a spa.

"I'm going to go check on Trixie, and see if she's still alive," Octy says, trotting towards the door.

You kneel down for a moment, drying off your legs.

"Might be a good idea. She's in pretty rough shape."

"Well, after all of that whiskey, I'm surprised she hasn't puked up her liver."

"Are you sure she hasn't?"

Octavia laughs a little, rolling her eyes.

"I suppose I'll have to check."

She gives you a quick peck on the lips before turning around and heading out the door.

"See you two in a bit."

With that, Octavia leaves, closing the door behind her.

You turn to Cadance who is busy wrapping nothing short of a turban around her head.

It probably isn't a turban, but you're a man, so you have a get-out-of-jail-free card when it comes to terminology in women stuff.

As she spins the thing like a coccoon, she glances at you.

"There's a breakfast down there, right?"

You nod.

"Yup. That's where I saw Octavia earlier, before she came up here to shower."

Cadance looks confused for a moment, and then lets out a 'hmmph'.

"...Odd. You'd think she'd shower before going to breakfast."

You smile, and you manage not to burst out laughing.

"Heheheh, about that... She didn't shower this morning until now, and she was out in the lobby for a good while."

"And?" Cadance asks, raising an eyebrow. "Am I missing something?"

You nod.

"Yup, you are."

She thinks for a moment, squinting as she slides a towel over her back.

"Nope. I don't know what you're getting at."

"Come on, think, Cadance. Remember last night?"

She starts snickering, and the more she thinks about it, the wider her smile gets.

"She... She didn't...?"

"Nope."

"Could you see it?"

"Yup."

"Oh, sweet Celestia, that's hilarious... Please tell me little Scootaloo didn't see anything?"

"She didn't see it, but she almost caught it when I tried to break it to Octy."

Cadance finishes drying off, and is now adorned in a robe of towels.

"Oh, no, what happened?"

"I said Octy had some leftovers. When she left, Scootaloo was lost, and asked me what I meant. I just said that she had some asparagus in her teeth or something."

Cadance trots over, opening the door.

"Well, I'm a bit curious myself; let's go see if Trixie's still alive."

"If she's dead, I get her hat."

"Of course. But I get her cape."

"Sounds like a bargain."