The Dazzlings Stink! Literally!

by Tennis Match Fan

Rating: teen
Tags: Sonata Dusk, Other, Rarity (EqG), Equestria Girls, Trixie, Comedy, Adagio Dazzle, Slice of Life
Length: 2055

Ponies don't need to take showers every day like teenage girls do. Human hygiene is a foreign concept to Adagio, Sonata, and Aria. And everyone says they stink.

Ponies don't need to take showers very often. A storm might do the trick, and they're getting dirty all the time, anyway. Being ponies all their lives, the Dazzlings didn't worry to much about staying clean.
Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk have no clue when it comes to human hygiene, though. When people say the Dazzlings stink, they mean literally.

Published 2014-09-29 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-29 21:00:01 UTC

Singing in the Shower!

Adagio Dazzle and her best friends Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze walked confidently through the halls of Canterlot High. A girl with yellow sunglasses stared at them for a second before ducking into another corridor.

"Isn't it wonderful, girls?" She asked with a smirk. "It's been... what? A week? And already the other students are cowering in fear."

"Uh-huh!" Sonata agreed by nodding, her ponytail bobbing furiously.

"Eh." Aria crossed her arms.

But as Adagio watched the students' reaction to them, she became uneasy. Why was Trixie Lulamoon, that girl who spoke in third person, pinching her nose? Why did several techies fan themselves with their books when she approached?

"Stop," she commanded Sonata and Aria. The two stopped mid-step.

"What is it, Adagio?" Sonata asked meekly. Adagio turned to Trixie.

"Why are you pinching your nose, dearie?" She asked in a syrupy voice, narrowing her eyes. Trixie averted her gaze to something in the distance.

"Trixie must, um, run to the bathroom!" Before Adagio could interrogate her further, Trixie was off in a flash, running down the hallway as if her life depended on it.

"Strange," Adagio muttered.

"Eh," Aria muttered.

"Will you stop saying that for every answer?" Adagio glared at Aria. She just shrugged.

"Ugh." Adagio closed her eyes face-palmed.

"Hey, you there!" Adagio opened her eyes to see Sonata addressing a boy who looked rather nervous.

"What's your name?" Sonata asked sweetly.

"F-flash Sentry," he responded. Adagio watched his blue eyes dart back and forth. Adagio knew that expression. It was the one you wore if you were looking for a way out.

"So Flash, why are you so scared?" Sonata coed. "I don't bite, I promise! Unless in self defense, but I've never had to do that before!" Sonata giggled.

"You stink!" Flash told her bluntly. Just like Trixie, Flash was off in a flash down the hall.

"Bye bye!" Sonata waved. Adagio followed him with her eyes.

"He thinks we stink!" She fumed. "We have more musical talent than him, at least."

"Eh- uh, whatever."

Adagio glared at Aria before she noticed several students gathered around them. She caught bits and pieces of their whispered conversations:

"...said they stink..."

"...do stink..."

"Her name is Sonata..."

"...It's like they haven't showered in weeks!"

Adagio folded her arms. She wasn't to pleased people were gossiping about her when she was inches away.

"Hey, Adagio!" Sonata whispered in a loud, non-whispery voice. "I think everyone else thinks we stink, too!"

"Really," Adagio drawled. She whipped around to face the students. "Stop gossiping about us!" It did the trick, because the students were scattered.

"What's all the fuss about?" Aria grumbled.

"Ahem." A pale girl with elegant violet hair appeared in front of them. Adagio took note of her pale blue shirt, lavender skirt, and three diamonds that appeared to act as her cutie mark. Her eyes were a deep blue color, and she wore light blue eyeshadow that matched her shirt.

"May I help you?" Adagio asked in an insincere tone.

"I'm Rarity, and I, uh, noticed you're wondering why those students were talking about you," the girl explained. Adagio folded her arms again.

"Care to explain?" She asked. Rarity looked up to the ceiling.

"Well, darlings, to put it frankly...." she paused before looking Adagio straight in the eye. "You three smell."

"Oh." Adagio couldn't think of anything to say to that.

"How do we stop smelling?" Sonata asked curiously.

"You idiot," Aria muttered. Rarity looked at her with a funny expression on her face.

"You take a shower, of course," she responded. An even funnier look crossed her face, look of startling realization that some horrible had happened. "You have taken a shower before, right?" Adagio looked at Aria, then at Sonata. Neither of them provided any support.

"I'm afraid we haven't had one in a while," Adagio answered. "We've been... traveling! Yes, traveling a far, far way, and we've forgotten how to shower." She smiled, hopefully it would be enough to convince Rarity.

"Well, uh, erm," Rarity stuttered. She tapped her feet on the ground like she listening to music. "I must, uh, show you how to take a shower, I suppose. We can't have you smelling like horse manure, can we?"

"Actually, we're pon-" Aria slapped her hand right in Sonata's mouth before a response could escape.

"Thank you, but we're fine." Adagio smirked. Rarity let out a breath she had been apparently holding.

"No, I insist," she told Adagio. "You could smell like roses."

'She won't stop bothering us unless I say yes, will she?' Adagio thought.

"Fine," she grumbled. Rarity smiled weakly.

"Alright, meet me outside after school. We can go to my house and I can... teach you..." Adagio took some satisfaction watching the color drain from Rarity's already pale cheeks. "...teach you to... shower?"

"Yup," Aria answered.

The bell suddenly rang, and Rarity hurried off. The Dazzlings stood in the middle of the emptying hallways.

"This will be funny!" Sonata giggled. Adagio nodded absent mindedly.

"You." She spoke to a tan girl with short turquoise hair. "Do you have Language Arts first period?"

"Uh, yeah," the girl responded cautiously. Adagio nodded in satisfaction.

After singing a quick song that convinced the girl to do Adagio's homework in Language Arts for her, the Dazzlings headed off to the stage in the gym.

"Do we actually smell?" Aria asked as Adagio pushed the door open. Adagio glanced back at her.

"I don't know, Aria. Maybe you should smell yourself."

"Whatever." Aria shoved her hands into her pockets.

"What are we doing now?" Sonata asked, skipping straight up onto the stage.

"We're planning out world domination," Adagio told her sweetly, sitting down criss cross applesauce. Aria just stood there.

I swear, that girl has absolutely no emotion whatsoever, Adagio thought. Aloud, she said, "Okay, so the first thing we have to do is convince everyone to participate in a Battle of the Bands. That can't be too hard."

"We should totally sing a song!" Sonata suggested. Adagio smacked her forehead.

"We always sing songs, Sonata," she told her through gritted teeth.

"That's why Sonata's an idiot," Aria put in. Adagio smacked her hand across Sonata's mouth before the offended girl could retaliate.

"Let's just concentrate on the song lyrics," Adagio suggested. "And the choreography."

"Core-a-what-now?" Adagio had a feeling Sonata would say something like that.

"Dance moves," she simplified. Sonata grinned.

"For realzies! I love dancing! For the first part, it should totally be like, 'We want you to join us, watch as we dominate the world!'"

"No," Aria muttered. Adagio took a deep breath and began to speak, but a horrible smell hit her nose full force. It smelled like rotting corpses in a dump full of rotten eggs. Not that Adagio had ever been to one of those. That was completely ridiculous.

"What is that smell?" She yelled. Aria shrugged. Sonata hung her head and began to sniff herself. Adagio looked away from the semi-disturbing sight.

"I think it might be me," she admitted sheepishly. "Sorry." Adagio waved her hand.

"I forgot about what that Rarity person said." She sniffed again. "Actually, I think we do need to take a shower or whatever."

"What's a shower?" Sonata's remark earned another facepalm from Adagio, despite the fact she didn't really know anything about human showers either.

"Let's just try to concentrate like I said before," Adagio muttered.

~

As it turned out, the smell of rotting corpses in rotton egg dumpsters didn't make it easy for one to concentrate. So when Adagio, Sonata, and Aria followed Rarity through the streets, Adagio was still moping over the fact they had gotten nothing done. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

"Alright, girls," Rarity began as she twisted the key into the lock on her front door, "I think you can go one at a time." Rarity grimaced.

"What's the matter?" Adagio asked. "Do we really smell that bad?" Rarity's face went red.

"Uh, Aria Blaze, would you like to go first?" She asked. Aria shrugged.

"Whatever."

While Rarity taught Aria about showers, Adagio amused herself by taking a pen and making a teensy weensy streak on each of Rarity's dress designs.

"Isn't that a little mean, Adagio?" Sonata asked, biting her lips in a pose that anyone but Adagio would have found adorable. Adagio waved her hand.

"We're going to take over the world. This is a little on the small scale, don't you think?"

"Sonata Dusk, you're next!" Rarity called.

"For realzies?!" Sonata squealed. Adagio rolled her eyes.

Aria suddenly appeared, her body covered in a towel, water dripping from her hair, which was no longer in two ponytails.

"I'm wet," she said.

"Duh," Adagio snapped. "That's how you get clean.

"Whatever." Aria folded her arms.

Sonata's turn went fairly quickly, then it was Adagio's turn.

"Just take your outfit off, and step in the water," Rarity called through the door.

"Fine, fine." Adagio did so and stepped into the flowing water.

"It's cold!" She whined immediately, shutting her eyes tightly.

"That's how showers are, Adagio. Now, pick up the blue bottle that says 'Shaving Cream' on it." Adagio followed Rarity's instructions and the ones that followed.

The hardest part was her hair. It was matted and tangled from the water, and even more unmanageable that it had been when dry.

"Alright, Adagio, I think I have a bottle that says 'Frizzy Shampoo'," Rarity told her through the door. "Pick that up."

"Got it," Adagio responded, picking up the bottle.

"Good. Now, uncap the lid and squeeze some out onto your hand."

"Sure." Adagio took off the cap and squeezed the bottle. Just her luck; not a drop came out. Adagio closed one eye and peered inside the container, looking for any sign of blockage.

"Where are you?" She asked it. Adagio gave the bottle a little shake. Immediately a glob of purple goo shot out, straight into Adagio's eye!

"IT BURNS!" Adagio howled, clutching her eyes. She felt as if the goo was burning straight through her head "Get it out!"

"Don't worry, Adagio!" Rarity's soothing voice came through the door. "Just wash it out with some water. Do be careful, dear."

"Alright!" Adagio did her best to open her burning eye. Water began pelting onto it.

"I think I'm going to be blind after this!" She yelled at Rarity.

"Relax!" Rarity responded. "My younger sister did that once or twice, and she's not blind!"

'This is a mistake Sonata was supposed to make,' Adagio thought grudgingly as she washed her eye out.

Adagio finished up her hair, then got out of the shower.

"Just wrap the towel around your body, Adagio!" Rarity told her. "All of it! The only parts you should be able to see are your arms and legs!"

"I'm not an idiot, you know!" Adagio shot back. "Even Sonata can tell in this world you usually don't show off your middle part!"

"This world?"

"Uh, inside joke. Never mind." Adagio concentrated on wrapping the towel around herself.

~

The next morning, Adagio, Sonata, and Aria walked through the halls of Canterlot High again.

"I feel like I'm a freshly made taco!" Sonata exclaimed, twirling around. Adagio shot her a look.

"Hopefully now, the other students will have reason to adore us," she commented.

"Eh." Aria shrugged her shoulders.

As they walked, several students gathered around them.

"Trixie declares you aren't filthy animals anymore!" Trixie exclaimed. "You smell nice, Dazzlings." Adagio smirked.

"Thank you, sweetie," she said sarcastically. Flash Sentry appeared out of nowhere, right in front of Sonata.

"Sonata, you smell so lovely!" He said. "Like bananas! I love bananas!"

"For realzies?" Sonata giggled. "Thanks!"

"I was wondering," Flash began, "do you want to go out with me?"

"Really?" Sonata squealed. Adagio shot her a threatening look.

"We're on a mission here!" She hissed. Sonata's smile drooped.

"Sorry, Flash, my friends say I can't go out with you," she told him. Flash frowned.

"Go away," Aria told him. Flash slunk off down the hallway.

"With our irresistible smell and music, not to mention glossy hair and soft skin, we will have the command of four senses!" Adagio proclaimed, grinning cruelly.

"Oh! Maybe we should let people eat us!" Sonata piped up. "Or we could bake ourselves into cupcakes!"

Adagio facepalmed.