You know he's was born from this unholy union.
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Sombra and The Hulk Have a Baby!
You know he's was born from this unholy union.
Sombra sat swirling in the murky darkness of the Shadow Realm. Ever since those two sisters cheated on that game of Yugioh! Strip Poker edition, with their kingdoms as collateral. But now he waited, bidding his time until he was able to be free. To be reunited with his Crystal addiction, and the love of his life. The Crystal Heart.
There were so many things to love about that thing. The fact that it was crystal was the biggest selling point, the heart being a universal symbol of love made it literally the only thing that loved him, the fact that Shiny (as he called it) just got him. Regardless of whether he thought it felt like a male or female at any given moment. Sometimes he would lay in his tower keep, snuggled up to Shiny giving it kisses and nuzzlie-wuzzlies, other times he’d make sweet love to it. Knowing it, unlike those non-understanding fools who didn’t understand his flexible view of his sexual identity. Just because he thought that like crystal, he was any and all genders at any moment, and when not tripping on crystal form of various drugs he forced his Crystal Ponies to create, or snorting salt crystals off a kittens belly while letting it nibble cheeseburgers imported from the Griffon Empires.
It was during these long trips down memory lane when a bright, almost blinding light ripped above him, and that’s when he knew his time had come. Finally, I will get back at those Princesses from cheating on Strip Poker, then I shall finally expand my empire to cover ever crystal on the planet! I mean all of Equestria … then I can get the planets crystals in my pants and make sweet love to them … or eat them. Possibly both. At the same time. While having a squirrel massage my genitals.
OH!!!! I forgot how delicious crystals were. Then I’ll find my dragon mother, and Bucephalus if he hasn’t been placed back in Tartarus, and dick smack as a sign of thanks for teaching me how great it is to be a demon-dragon pony. Or what ever a mixture of Demny and Dragon is called. But first, onward into glorious battle!
It was a week later and the interlopers who allied themselves with Celestia and Luna had not only infiltrated Sombra’s home, but had the audacity to prevent him from getting his crystals. Even his semi-crystally ponies were kept from his loving embrace … or his belly. Sombra had yet to decide how many more he should munch on for not fighting off the invaders. After all Degony? Demragonicorn? Don the marching crystal dick? I should really stop over thinking what my demonicy dragon bastard biology should be called. And be thankful that the shield is weakening! Sombra thought to himself whimsically.
Being locked inside the shadow realm for one thousand, six hundred and sixty six years had a rather unpleasant effect on his sanity. As one can probably tell by this part of the fic. But enough of who may, or may not had been thinking of that very moment of his sexy, crystal codpiece that was definitely going in something when he got his Shiny back. Although you might want to picture this. Take a heart, especially a crystal one, now using tape [crystal colored if you can] place a nice little + on it … let that image sink in … and now you can not unsee it, as well as how he spends his sexy special times with his Shiny when he’s feeling like a Stallion sometimes.
Now where were we, ah yes! The blue maned, unicorn whom the pink one called, “Shiny”, although in Sombra’s opinion he looked nothing like Shiny. He was neither crystal, nor did his plot look anything like Shiny’s. This of course meant that the interloper needed to prove his worth of having that name.
So when him and six mares and an adorable dragon, whom he could possibly seeing as adopting as a brother, sharing his crystals, feeding bad ponies too, teaching him the proper Demny and Dragon etiquette that he was apparently being raised by ponies. Seeing as how they weren't carried on giant trays, wrapped in chains, or pleasuring him while dressed in bondage gear. It was despicable that a dragon be brought down to their level, A mistake I shall soon rectify. After I save my Shiny from this impostor and his candy flanked wife. Seriously that crystal looked good enough to eat.
He showed himself in his mist-form, being the Demny official greeting for a challenge to one’s mate, sexuality, as a mating ritual, and also as a form of transportation when one didn't feel like walking. Since walking was for pedestrians, not one’s such as he. As Sombra neared this “Shiny” he showered him with his jizz. Watching his seed dribble onto the white one’s horn.
But alas! He was not anywhere near as worthy of holding that name. As his mist form caressed the shivering, prematurely magaculating unicorn. His light penis attack from his horn not being anywhere near as potent as the blasts the real Shiny could do. Sombra tried calming the excited, but failing young buck by whispering, “~Shiny! ~Oh Shiny! Who’s a good crystal!” But that did little to soothe the white one.
Sombra grew tired of the foreplay and with a page of from both the dragon and Demny handbook. Jizzed all over the white one’s horn. His magnificent black jizz marked his new territory, and since he failed to live up to the name of Shiny gave him a head start while he pondered on how best to cook him and feed him to the pink one and his soon to be brother.
Sombra was excited though, not just for the chase, but seeing that his jizz served a different purpose than intended. It prevented the Pink one … Cadance he vaguely remembered her being called. Or was it Caddy? No it was definitely Candy! Candy, the candy butted Princess. He knew that ponies in Equestria had a thing for naming their children after the obviousness of what they would someday be, or their parents hoped they’d be. But still he wasn't going to complain over their naming their daughter after her candy-ass. If he squinted just right, it almost looked like Shiny was tattooed there. It was almost enough to make him think of taking her to be Shiny’s concubine, and his mistress … if Shiny didn't mind sharing with him.
Then just as he was starting to think he’d never get the chance, the shield broke just a little bit. Yet just as he almost got in it went back up cutting off his horn, Oww! That hurt! Really, who cuts a horn! That’s just bad form, miss Candy butt! But I shall grow a new one, and Horny McHornerson shall grow from the inside spreading my power until I shall take back what’s mine!
And wait he did. Sombra waited and waited, feeling his horny magic spread across the land. Slowly, like his mothers attempt at cooking something other than tourist, or his uncles on both sides of the family, or his sister and her pets. Whom he didn't like much anyways, but being served her really did a number on him … it was a pity that therapist weren't invented until over a thousand years after his banishment. At this point of his life he would've really used a good hug. Or a mountain of bourbon. Whichever one was handy.
After hours that seemed to pass in seconds, it finally happened. The shield was down, and seeing where the love of his life, his tasty slaves, and all of his crystal stash was oragasmed hard yelling, “~Ugghh! CRYSTALS~!”
As he entered he looked upon his crystal slaves. Salivating as he greeted them, seeing a few try to run from his glorious gaze as he judged which ones he’d feast upon like dear Uncle Tenderclaw. He sensed someone trying to steal Shiny and when he activated to Cage of Tasty Doom, what did he see. His soon to be brother running off with his stallion-mare.
Oh no he didn’t! Sombra thought with angry sass,Before I can adopt him he must be punished for trying to take my love. I think he shall be tormented by the evilest things in all existence. Even more evil than Tirek, Discord, the Princesses, the color pink, and the flavor of black licorice combined. MIMES! Mime’s in mime suit themed ballerina tutus. Yes, while overly cruel, it shall teach him not to do such a thing again I think. Sombra let loose a shudder as he sunk into the earth as he rode to save his one true love. Even as evil as he was claimed to be. Even he knew that punishment was overly cruel, even if it was necessary.
But just as he flew to the rescue. Candy Butt grabbed Shiny and with the power of his slaves, blasted him with Shiny’s light penis. The resulting explosion didn't kill him, but blew him clear. Clear into the multiverse where he traveled aimlessly until a source of a nuclear powered rage addict shone out to him like a beacon.
The Hulk, Bruce Banner, the unkillable rage machine with nuclear cum, whatever name you call him. He is an icon across most of the known multiverse. Even visitors from future know of him and his incarnations. Such as the Saddle Ranger, and an R 63’d hulk whom the male version was pissed looked hotter than he did, and popped the visitor's head like a grape. Although he did find the yellow pony to be quite, undeniably adorable. If it wasn’t for his love Caiera, he would find a portal to that universe and make sweet love to that pony … either that or would be her bestie.
But he had more important matters on his mind. Thing one, put aside rage fucking his wife until she squirted cum out her nose like he did that time she cured him of his decades old case of blue balls. Thing two, reach transcendental bliss, become one with the universe, then fuck the universe until it has his babies so that he could create a Hulk Force, just like the Flash had his Speed Force.
So he meditated, and had just reached a connection with the universe. Surrounded by a pure white light, he was distracted as a black, fanged, red horned pony crashed into him. Dragging them both to Sakaar. The raw rage of the Hulk and his huge rippling muscles was enough to make a mare out of Sombra, and instantly drive him into heat because that’s just how BAMF the Hulk is.
In a fit of blind rage the hulk yelled, ”HULK SMASH!” Then proceeded to rage fuck the shit out of Sombra. Unfortunately for both of them, this serendipitous rendezvous was to be short lived. Between her demon hole and his sensitive murder dick, fate had something special in store for many timelines. So it was here that (s)he felt her slick, demony, dragon mare juices almost not enough to lube up the mountain crushing, joint popping, tank rending, banging (s)he was receiving. It went on for five solid minutes. His rage grunts and yells of his smashing, and her screaming sex induced gibberish.
Just as the blasphemous thought that not even Shiny could get Sombra to cum so hard (even with his Crystal Codpiece), the Hulk came inside her. Filling her womb with his nuclear murdersauce. The hulk came with such destructive power that Sombra was jettisoned into outer space screaming in ecstasy as she flew into a wormhole, passing by a black hole, that was tied to a negaversal rift in the space time continuum, that Thanatos used to send aliens hordes into various realities when he was bored, that crossed it’s streams with Discord’s trans-universal hotel for Chaotic Gods. Sending her into the future, 2510 AD.
Of course the Hulk didn't know any of this. All he knew was that he once again, failed in his quest to leave behind a dick shaped mark in the universe. And … as a side thought he cheated on his wife with a pony, that he could’ve sworn was a man before he got a rage boner, “Ooops! Looks like Hulk is sleeping on the couch tonight!” Hulk mumbled as he smelled the stingy smell of his seed and the awkward sent of some weird pony thing that he just screwed into oblivion.
Little did he know, in a few short minutes, his city would be exploded from Sombra’s Demny-Dragon Orgasm causing the shuttles self-destruction sequence to activate. giving him Sombra’s version of a loving gift that keeps on giving. Mindfucked insanity, misery, and a lifetime of needed therapy for all survivors.
Sombra knew that she was boned when she saw the lack of tasty slaves to much upon, and the murder sticks that the backwatered, hairless apes carried around. But not knowing what sick, sadistic, crazed world she landed on. That didn't even have the decency of having intelligent ponies to talk to. She needed to find someone to mind rape into raising her demon spawn in this mad world. It would be dangerous, and it’d make her sad, but she had to make sure her child grew old enough. Old enough that when it was needed, her spawn would use the evil and rage flowing through it’s veins to destroy an entire civilization. Maybe a few. Then once they were under hoof, or paw, or what ever those weird things that green sex machine had. That child would eat them just like Nana Jabberwocky.
Eventually she found some apes that were easily susceptible to her mind magic. And through guile, charm, and tons of liquor, convinced them that they let her hold their child in her womb to keep it safe for the winter. Or whatever madness they called their seasons. Seriously who doesn’t have ponies to control the weather … until they prove both tasty and disloyal to Sombra’s majestic reign. Well most of them. Same as the unicorns. Seriously when I find out how they do this madness of moving Celestial bodies, control the weather, and do all these things without Unicorns or Pegasi I shall rule Equestria. Than I shall summon my demon child to rule with me for all eternity. But I have little time for after this birth, I shall go back to my planet to build an empire for my bouncing baby ball of evilly goodness.
~Fin!
Author's Note
It's 3 AM. What gave birth to this fic was this Blog. https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/381714/destiny-is-fabulous.Ever since then, I've watched it numerous times as well as the Alternate version. But it was the first one, seeing Master Chief walk out in a drunken green rage. Yelling "X-Box" like Sombra was going on about Crystals. That I couldn't get it out of my head that he's the unholy offspring of Sombra and the Hulk.
And we all know that the Hulk would be the man in any relationship. There's just noone who could top him. I think even Maxima from http://grrlpowercomic.com/ wouldn't be able to be top wit the Hulk. So yeah, it just grew from there. Prevented me from going to sleep. So I decided to give into my muse and share this with everyone. Also, as I said before there was no pre-reader for this, and I apologize for any errors. I did at least run it through Spell Check though so that's one less problem XD.
3:40 Edit:
I have nothing against The Hulk. He's my favorite rageaholic superhero. And Master Cheif is pretty cool, although nowhere near as awesome as the cast of Red Vs. Blue. But still pretty cool.
