What Can't Rainbow Dash Fuck?

[Warning: Don't read this if you are a huge pussy.]

Rainbow Dash was lying down on a fluffy white cloud. It was the most comfortable cloud she had ever reclined her cyan booty in, well, maybe except all the other ones. But still, the pegasus was in heaven. After approximately twenty minutes, Dash began to doze off with blissful slumber. Bet then! An idea, a bizarre, freakish, idiosyncratic idea emerged within her cerebral cortex. You know, the thing that I don't have, or perhaps, have too much of.

Anyway, this idea came to the pegasus, and idea born in the darkest realms of her mind. What if somepony fucked a cloud? Dash sat up and looked down at the innocent cloud cradling her. The question churned in her vastly superior lesbian mind as she glared at that cloud, that beautiful marshmallow of fuckable goodness. Just like Rarity. The urge to have it answered became unbearable. Her curiosity hat gotten the best of her, the cyan mare was determined to find the answer to that fascinating question. Dash spread her wings and bolted towards Twilight's house, faster than you could say "I can't believe i'm really reading this right now."

In the library, Twilight was focused on writing a book. Yes, Twilight was actually writing a book instead of reading one. Amazing! Suddenly, Rainbow Dash came crashing through the door.

"Twi!"

"Ah!" Screamed Twilight, once again torn from her focus by Dash's sudden entry.

"Twilight I need you do perform a spell on me." Rainbow Dash commanded.

"Can you ever knock!?" Twilight was sick of being interrupted constantly by that cyan pegasus.

"Um.. No." Rainbow Dash Answered.

"Ugh, what do you need?"

"I need your magic."

"For what?"

"I need you, to give me, a penis."

Twilight stared at Rainbow with a mix of surprise and concern on her face.

"Dash? Why do you want male genitalia?"

"So I can fuck a cloud!" Exclaimed Rainbow Dash, eager to get fuckin'

Twilight cringed at the proposition. "Are... you feeling ok, Dash?"

"Never better!"

"Umm... ok... I don't think you are. Do you say, fuck, a cloud?"

"Yeah, It's science! I thought you loved science?"

"How is that science?"

"I don't know, just do it."

Then for some reason I can't think of, Twilight used her magic to give Rainbow Dash male horse genitalia. It was really painful and all that good stuff.

"Thanks Twilie!" Rainbow Dash dashed out the door, except, to rainbow dash an extra feeling a friction was now present. Back in the air, she located the prize in ten seconds flat.

Twilight resumed her art, this book was going to be amazing. The current page read:

I'm a diligent hip-hopper straight out of Canterlot,

I love to rap, the beat, it gets me off,

Okay.

I was once known as MC Twilight,

I came to a realization that the name wasn't right,

So I did a little magic and looked up some stats,

Then I scribbled out the name and started yelling at cats..

MC Twilight grinned to herself at the reference I just made.

Back with Rainbow Dash! She was preparing herself for the "experiment' The mare/stallion stood atop the cloud with a deviously lustful look in her ruby red eyes. The newly gained member did not require any preparation, only a simple thought was needed to erect the organ, because it's magic I don't have to explain shit. Everything was perfect, her penis was aimed, armed, and ready. Then, she did it.

With all her might, Rainbow Dash penetrated the cloud! It was glorious! Rainbow had never experienced such a sensation before, It was even better than that boring ass sex with Pinkie Pie she had that one time.

"Fucking clouds is awesome!" Exclaimed Rainbow as she pounded away at that poor unsuspecting cloud. If the accumulation of water vapor could cry, it would have. But Dash could care less about the clouds feelings, especially considering they don't have feelings.

After finishing, Rainbow felt satisfied, but, a hunger, a hunger burned inside of Dash's dick, she had tasted blood, now she must have more.

THEN! I lost interest in writing about this and decided to explore another topic. But don't worry, I created a plot device to allow for this.

-sus-

Back at the library inside of a fucking tree, Twilight Danger Sparkle was doing something very odd. She was not reading a book, she was... WRITING! a book. God damn that's so crazy. The purple alicorn was totally engaged in her literature, using magic to scribble words at a colossal speed.

"Hey!" Said Pinkie Pie, popping into existence directly in front of Twilight.

"Ah!" Startled Twilight, falling backwards in her chair.

"What's up, Twi?"

"Well, I WAS focused on writing a book."

''Oh cool-wait! Did you say WRITING a book?" Pinkie was astonished, surly Twilight had simply misspoken, or Pinkie had misheard her. Pinkie saw the quill and ink spilled out on the floor. She was! Twilight was actually writing a book, how could this be?! Was she cursed? Did she hit her head climbing up the staircase? What was going on here?

"Yes, I'm writing a book." Twilight confirmed as she stood back up, wiping herself off.

Pinkie Pie gasped, the gasp was just like the gasp she did upon meeting Twilight for the first time in episode one of the television series My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. (You've probably never heard of it.) So anyway...

"You are writing a book! What's it about?" Asked an excited Pinkie Pie.

"Well... I'm not totally certain what I wan't to write about, but I felt inspired. Right now It's about myself writing a book."

"Whoa! That sounds awesome! What are you writing about in the story you are writing?"

"A story about myself writing a story." Explained Twilight.

Pinkie Pie's head exploded from Ficception. 3.6 seconds later, her head re-materialized, she is a god after all. "Can I help?" Asked Pinkie, ecstatic.

"I suppose.."

"Yaayy! Oh boy! simply can't wait to help! I've never been this excited! Have you ever been this excited?! I know I haven't, except for that one time when-"

"Pinkie!"

"What?"

"If you're going to help me, you need to calm down. I know you're excited but all this yelling is making my ears ring."

"Okie dokie lokie." Pinkie Pie then zipped up her mouth.

"Ok, new let's see..." Said Twilight.

-Three weeks later-

"Welcome to the Salty Spitoon Publishing Company. How good is your story?" Said the guard protecting the entrance to the Salty Spitoon Publishing complex.

"Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle." Twilight greeted. "And this is my friend Pinkie Pie, she helped me write this story." Pinkie Pie waved at the stallion from behind Twilight. The guard forcefully grabbed the book from Twilight's hoof. He opened it, scanned each page, then threw the book on the ground.

"Declined." The stallion said in an emotionless voice. "Next!"

-Later that same day-

"Alright Twilight, we vault the fence here." Rainbow Dash pointed at a spot on the map.

"Ok." Twilight acknowledged.

"Then, under the cover of darkness, we sprint across the field until we reach the side door." Rainbow drug her hoop across the map, showing their path from the fence to the door. "Now, there will be security guards monitoring that area. We need to get past them somehow. Any ideas?"

"I know! I'll use my confetti cannon to cause a distraction!" Said the brilliant pink one.

"Good idea pinkie." Twilight praised.

"Ok, so, we distract the guards, hop the fence, and reach the door. How do we get the door open exactly?"

"I can used one of my lock-picking spells." Proposed Twilight.

"Ok, good. So once inside, we find the accepted stories room and Twilight will place her book in there." Rainbow Dash concluded.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Exclaimed Pinkie. "I can't wait!"

"What if we get caught?" Asked Twilight, she had just now considered the proposition of them getting caught. What would become of her and her friends for doing this? Prison time? A fine?

Rainbow Dash looked Twilight in the eyes. "We won't."

It's time the fat cats had a heart attack.

The sigh read:

              PRIVATE PROPERTY

TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED

"I don't know about this Rainbow." Twilight said, she was beginning to get nervous.

"Relax, we're gonna be fine." Rainbow Dash assured.

Pinkie Pie prepared the party cannon.

"Let's do this." Said Twilight Danger Sparkle. Rainbow Dash nodded her head and made a bird sound, signaling Pinkie Pie to fire the cannon.

Pinkie ignited the fuse, they all jumped back into the bushed.

BAM! The cannon fired.

Dash and Twilight flew silently over the barbed wire fence.

-I don't even know, man.-

To be continued....?

Probably not.