A Tail of 5 Zeds

by EquestrianWriter

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1274

With the undead crisis in Equestria reaching large figures. Celestia realises that the dead can be hired for retail purposes.

Undead have been around for hundreds of years. To begin with they were mindless killing machines, but as they ate and expanded they became smarter. Able to talk, communicate.
With so many homeless and jobless zombies wondering the streets. Celestia makes a public announcement, the dead can work retail and live in stores they work in.
Hell, its free labour and no extra homes need to be build. So bosses are over the moon about the idea.
One chapter for each zombie

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-28 22:00:05 UTC

The Wrong Kind of Lyra

Lyra Heartstrings

Lyra Heartstrings was staring into space. She had found herself doing this a lot since she had turned. Would just stare, unblinking, unmoving, just. Staring. She remembered how she turned, and everything in her life before her unlife. Nearly every detail. But now she was 'one of them' as many referred to as the undead, her life seemed like a blur. Day in day out. The same thing. Chase one of the living, eat their brain and become smarter and more 'alive' by doing so. Then wonder the streets at night and hope nopony decides to end her unlife. Well, hope is the wrong word. Lyra wasn't overly sure how she felt about this whole existence beyond death thing she had going. Sure being undead had its perks. Lyra was doing much more exercise now, running after all the living and all. Well, before her reform anyway. So she wasnt doing as much exercise anymore. Oh, there was the whole 'being a zombie' thing. Some kids seemed to like that. Although when the dead are still in stage one and begin eating these kids who like the zombie idea. Any good reputation the dead may have goes out of the window. Followed by a limb or two. There was the advantage that zombies get free admission to magic and gun ranges! Although a lot of ranges have a rule that zombies have to be the targets if they happen to wonder in. So the more Lyra Heartstrings thought about it. The less advantages zombies had in life. Or unlife. They couldn't go to anything public like theatres or cinemas anymore. A lot of family or loved ones would abandon the undead. That's how Lyra had lost her Bon Bon. By being careless and getting bitten. Celestina's sun Bon Bon had tasted good. But at what cost. Lyra still missed her mare friend. Every second of the day she missed her. But she was gone now. As was Lyra. Only Lyra stayed, whilst her love didn't.

"Hey. Miss, Lyra is it?" A voice asked. Snapping the undead pony back into her horrible existence. There was an old mare in front of her, living, she had a silk hat on that looked very fancy and expensive. She had an orange coat and brown hair, and was looking very annoyed. Lyra looked up at the made behind the conveyer belt of the check out Lyra worked at. She had her official Haysco uniform on with a name tag saying 'Hi my name's Lyra, I don't bite'. The second part was more for humour than truth. Lyra would most likely still bite a pony given the chance, however despite everything. Lyra liked her new job, and didn't want to lose it just yet. Bits of blood had leaked onto the uniform as it normally does and Lyra is told off every day because of it. The pony was surprised that blood could still drip out of her various wounds but her body surprised her still. Lyra was sitting down on a small stall because she had suffered a broken leg during her life as an unreformed undead. It wasn't an issue for her, but ponies didn't like the sight of a limping zombie, it usually reminds ponies that that said undead had once ran after the living and ate them from instinct. Some found reassurance in the fact that a wounded zombie meant a slow zombie.

"Haaaannnnnddddsss?" Lyra asked in a long winded groan. She had never got that bit right. Was it what she wanted that she groaned, or was it the word brains? And if it was brains, then why. That made no sense, who ate the brain. It was hard enough to get through the skull of a dead pony. Let alone through and eat the ssull. By the time Lyra had eaten the head usually, skin, muscle and all, she was full. She had no room for a brain. So hands, made sense more to her.

"Isn't it brains your kind are meant to groan?" The mare asked. When Lyra didn't reply the mare moved on. "Anyway, would you be a dear and help me pack? An elderly lady such as myself doesn't have the strength to do this anymore. There, one advantage of being undead was that most ponies accepted it. Since the disease had been around for hundreds of years ponies had accepted it. And with Princess Luna a zombie herself, even royalty could be affected. There were still a few who hated the idea however. Ponies don't like the whole eating other ponies thing. But they still accepted it, there was even an idea where murderers or pedophiles would be fed to newly born zombies so they evolve faster.

"Of courssseee." Lyra groaned, the woman seemed pleased enough and Lyra began to scan the items on the check out and dump them is a bag for the woman, the task was difficult with her zombie hooves but Lyra was smart enough now to not pick up eggs or anything that might break. The other mare flinched at Lyra's efforts to help pack, but knew deep down that the zombie pony couldn't help it. The mare made to pick up the eggs with her magic and put them in a separate bag. Lyra nodded a little, bits of rotten flesh moving as she did. The mare looked a bit pale after that scene but said nothing. After a few more minutes of scanning and packing the shopping had been some what successfully put away the mare looked at the screen showing her how many bits the food would cost and lost her small smile.

"Oh dear, it appears I am short two bits. I simply don't have enough dear. I'm ever so sorry. Can I put something back?" The mare muttered. She sounded a bit fake and was probably hoping Lyra would let her take something for free. The mare certainly sounded rich, let alone looked it too. So she definitely had the bits. Just wanted to get away with theft, probably because Lyra was a zombie.

"Errrrrr." Lyra groaned and pressed the speaker. She couldn't communicate like this, she knew what she wanted to say, but couldn't. Lyra pressed down on the speaker and groaned again, her supervisor soon appeared and Lyra simply pointed at the mare, frustrated with herself for nor being able to handle simple speech. The supervisor just put the most expensive epitem back and as it turns out_ the mare had the money to pay after all. She stormed out with a hmph toward Lyra.

"Your voice still not fixed?" The supervisor asked. Lyra groaned again. He nodded.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You are doing good though Lyra. Well done. Take a,break and go out or something." The supervisor said in his pathetic tone of how disappointed he was in Lyra. He would give her 'breaks' whenever she screwed up. But it was usually just his way of saying that she is upsetting the living and should go away for a bit.  Lyra had a sudden thought and decided to accept this break and she left. Still in uniform, passing a few zombie coworkers as she went. They were much more developed and some had begun to heal. Lyra was just out of place.

The next day the rich mare was found half eaten in an alleyway and Lyra could now begin to talk properly. She would have to hide it a lot, but some words she could get away with. That mare was very smart. Worth the chase.