Chaos Magic

by Dream Seeker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 952

Twilight wants to study Chaos Magic from Discord. What could possibly go wrong?

Twilight decides to ask Discord about how he uses Chaos Magic. No mage has ever successfully cast Chaos Magic because it always does whatever it's least likely to do, yet somehow Discord utilizes it perfectly. Twilight just can't help but wonder what the greatest minds in Equestria have been doing wrong.

Published 2014-09-28 21:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-28 21:30:03 UTC

The Key

Twilight sighed as she shook the chocolate milk out of her mane. Discord stood grinning in front of her, Fluttershy by his side.

"Now now, that's not very nice." Fluttershy scolded gently, and Discord pouted slightly.

"It was only a bit of fun." Discord replied.

"Twilight might not think that. You should try to think of others too... If you want to that is." Fluttershy added quickly.

"Actually, it's fine." Twilight put in sheepishly. "It's sort of what I want to talk to Discord about."

"Oh?" Fluttershy raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Discord, how do you cast Chaos Magic?" Twilight began. "Mages over the centuries have tried, with limited success, to cast Chaos magic. The best of them only succeeded once or twice? How do you do it?"

"Well, they're doing it wrong." Discord snorted disdainfully.

Twilight's eye twitched. "That's exactly my point! We're doing something wrong. What is it? Why do our spells keep failing?" Twilight ranted.

"Because you expect them to succeed, of course." Discord replied. "Therein lies your issue."

Twilight let out an exasperated groan. "Then how do you cast it? It doesn't look like you ever fail."

Discord chuckled. "It's really quite ironic. Chaos Magic does whatever you least expect it to do. So if you well and truly expect it to fail, as the most likely outcome to the cast, then it will succeed every time without fail!"

Twilight stared flatly. "That's just about the dumbest idea I've ever heard. Not only is it just plain ridiculous, but after thousands of casts, how can you still expect each cast to fail spectacularly?"

"That's the most difficult part." Discord replied. "I've learned from experience, over thousands of years. It takes a special kind of being to not let the egotism get to their head."

Twilight sighed. "Watch. I'm going to cast a spell with Chaos Magic, and it's not going to work. It's going to backfire spectacularly."

Discord grinned. "That's the spirit!"

Twilight rolled her eyes, gathering the magic into her horn. It released spectacularly, and instantly the sun lowered from the sky and the moon raised. Her jaw dropped, and she stared. She barely noticed Discord pat her on the back.

"Now that's how you do it!" he grinned.

Twilight just sat there, staring in shock at the moon in the sky. A few minutes later, Spike came rushing down the path, holding a scroll in one clawed hand.

"Twilight, Princess Celestia sent a letter! Discord's lowered the sun and raised the moon with Chaos Magic!" he panted, holding out the scroll. "We need to assemble the Elem-"

Spike's voice was cut off as he stared at Discord, and Twilight, who was still stunned. "Discord, what did you do to her?" he shouted, panicked.

"Moi? I did nothing." Discord said innocently. "Twilight just cast her first successful spell with Chaos Magic, however. Quite spectacular, if I do say so myself. I wonder if she'll be able to put it back."

Twilight unfroze at that, a panicked look in her eyes. "Oh, nonono! I can't!"

"Exactly!" Discord grinned. "Looks like you'll be better at this than I thought!"

Twilight lit her horn frantically, not really believing that her spell would work. The world flashed white, and Twilight felt herself move.

Twilight sighed as she shook the chocolate milk out of her mane. Discord stood grinning in front of her, Fluttershy by his side. Twilight stopped, confused, and her eyes widened as she realized what had happened.

"Oh..." she breathed, stopping Fluttershy's gentle scolding.

Discord stared at her suspiciously before raising an eyebrow. "Messing with time, Twilight? That's very naughty of you."

"I didn't think it would work." Twilight stated, surprised.

Discord rolled his eyes, throwing them on the ground. They came up as two ones. "Always snake eyes." he muttered. "Anyway, how many times does your past me, or my future me, or my past future me have to say it? As long as you don't think it will work, it will!"

Twilight stared at him for a few moments, trying to unravel his words, before finally getting the point. "Oh! So that's how you do it!" she grinned. Then the grin widened unnaturally. "Do you know what this calls for?"

"A... party?" Pinkie Pie, who had appeared out of nowhere, trailed off when she noticed the look on her friend's face.

"Testing!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Wait!" Discord cried, as Twilight dragged him down the road to her library. "At least take the pink one too! She can also use Chaos Magic!"

Twilight's eye twitched. "Earth ponies can't cast any magic. Of any sort. Of corse, if you're correct about Chaos Magic, that just means that if she tries it would work automatically! Oh, I'm coming to get you now Pinkie!" a few hairs sprung out of place. "I've finally figured out how your Pinkie Sense works, how you can teleport, EVERYTHING!" Twilight burst into insane laughter. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my..."

Pinkie Pie appeared, right on cue, and Twilight grabbed her with magic and teleported. "That's not fair..." Pinkie whined. "You can't use a fake Pinkie Promise to summon me!"

"Looks like I just did." Twilight grinned. "Nothing can stop me now! I am going to study you and there is NOTHING YOU CAN POSSIBLY DO TO STOP ME!"

Discord winked. "You're absolutely right about that."

Twilight stared for a moment surprised, before comprehension hit her like a sledgehammer. "No, wait!" she yelled as Discord snapped his fingers, teleporting him and Pinkie Pie away. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Twilight's cries could be heard from Gryphonia.

Author's Note

Just something crazy I wrote at midnight. Why? Cause I felt like it.