Are You Nuts?! I'm a Horse!

“HOW WAS IT?!”

The words were deafening as they filled the room and reverberated off the walls. Twilight could practically feel the sound waves echoing and rattling around in her skull as she groaned, struggling to sit up.

“What? Where am I? What happened? Wasn’t I just at the…” her head throbbed as she gazed out from her bed at the familiar room. “What happened to the stallion? And me, what happened to me? The last thing I can remember is falling asleep after…” Her cheeks grew red as the memories of her experience flooded back to her and she finally noticed the pink mare at her bedside with a teasing grin spanning her face. “What?” the unicorn raised a curious eyebrow to her friend.

“TELL ME ABOUT IT!” the earth pony erupted into a giddy display of prancing across the room and giggling.

“By Celestia! Okay! Just calm down.” Twilight rolled her eyes as she leaned back against her headboard and tried to gather her thoughts. “Well I remember they took me into this blank white room with nothing but a bed in it.” The unicorn scratched her head as she struggled to remember the specific details, but nothing seemed to come back to her. It was as if the whole thing never happened.

“Yes?” Pinkie pressed. “What about the stallion?! What was he like? Was he all big and strong?”

“I – I can’t remember…”

“Well what color was he? You can at least remember that much, right?” A layer of concern weaved its way into the pink mare’s voice.

“I – I think he was brown… or maybe gray. I guess he could’ve been blue or white too. I remember he was…” the unicorn’s words trailed off as she winced and rubbed her hoof against her head in small circles.

“Are you alright Twilight?” Pinkie asked sympathetically before stepping up onto the bed and nestling next to her friend.

“I’m fi – I’m fine. I just want to sleep.”

Pinkie leaned away and watched uneasily as the unicorn lay back down under the covers in an almost zombielike trance, her eyelids rising and falling rhythmically. Even in the early morning light she couldn’t help but notice the scars that ran down either side of her friend’s flank just before her cutie mark. It looked as if it had been sloppily healed with unicorn magic. Maybe if Twilight were more awake she could just heal it herself and feel better. The pink pony sat on the bed and watched as the staggered breaths of her friend grew shallower and shallower until she eventually drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Pinkie let out a gentle sigh and carefully stepped off the bed, giving one last longing look back at her friend. With a gentle click, the pink mare shut the door and turned to gaze out at the buildings of Ponyville. Suddenly she wasn’t so sure about this. It seemed fun at first, what could be more fun than messing around with a beautiful stallion for a day? She never really thought of what else would happen - never really thought of what happened afterwards. Nopony ever talked about the afterwards. Come to think of it, nopony ever talked about the experience itself. The pink mare gave a loud hmph as she abruptly sat in the center of the road, her cotton candy mane still bouncing as she pondered.

“Hey do you mind moving! I’m trying to get this cart full of my latest fashions to the – oh hey Pinkie! What’s wrong dear?” The white unicorn’s head poking out from the side of the wagon instantly noticed the uncharacteristic look of apprehension in her friend’s face.

“Rarity?” Pinkie looked up from the ground still deep in thought. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just on my way to the Style Week Expo. It’s only the most spectacular display of fashion in Equestria. All the top designers are going to be there and I just know that my dresses are going to be the talk of all of Canterlot! I can see it now; everypony will be wearing my latest dresses and praising me for my extravagant works of pure art! And then Hoity Toity will commission me to work in Canterlot and Photo Finish will do anything just to get a picture of me in my latest fashion! Oh it’s going to be so wonderful! Can you believe it?! I’m going to be famous and everypony will adore me!”

“That’s nice. I hope you do your very best.” The pink mare said hollowly.

“You don’t seem like the normal ecstatic earth pony you usually are, is there something you want to talk about?”

“Well –“

“Of course it may have been me who stole your eagerness! I mean can you believe it?! Me! Rarity! I’m going to the Style Week Expo in Canterlot!”

“But what about your duty with the stallions? Aren’t you supposed to go in tomorrow?”

“Ah well, I’m sure one little unicorn won’t make a difference. They probably won’t even notice that I’m missing. Besides, I can always do it later when I don’t have more important plans.” The white unicorn flipped her hair over her shoulder as she spoke.

“But they call you specifically by name and tell you exactly when to show up, I think they’re going to notice.”

“What are they going to do? Come all the way to Canterlot to drag me back kicking and screaming!” she held her hoof over her mouth to stifle the small giggle escaping.

“Uh Rarity, do you mind if we talk seriously about what’s going on for a moment?” Pinkie looked up at her friend with legitimate concern, “I’m having second thoughts about the –“

“Nope! Sorry dear but I have to go, don’t want to be late. This is the opportunity of a lifetime!” Another moment later and Pinkie found herself alone in the street again with her thoughts, the creaking of her friend’s cart fading away into the distance.

“Gee thanks Rarity,” Pinkie groaned getting up and slowly trudging the opposite direction towards the tall gray building just beyond the horizon. She never really had cold hooves before, why was she so worried anyway? This was going to be fun! She should know - she spent the last week telling her friends all about how great it would be. The continued thoughts of encouragement started to put a spring in her step and before she knew it she found herself as excited as ever for the new experience. She would just prance in there and pick the biggest, sexiest stallion – any stallion she wanted – and buck his brains out. Oh yes, she would make sure he would never forget her. She could rock his world, but only if she wanted to. Maybe she would make him beg for it. Yeah, she was that good. By the time she got to the giant barnlike building she was prancing about and giggling at her own thoughts.

“Pinkie Pie I presume?” the brown mare behind the desk rolled her eyes and glared impatiently at the earth pony who burst through the door still bouncing and giggling to herself.

“THAT’S ME!” Pinkie hopped over to the counter excitedly.

“Yes well… You seem to know why you’re here.” The pegasus took a deep breath before delivering her hollow speech. “I know you may be nervous and don’t understand why we’re doing this but let me assure that it is all for the greater good and you will understand why after. Please step forward and continue through the white doors to your left until you get to the end of the hallway, there, a gray unicorn will be waiting to give you further instructions.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” the pink earth pony galloped through the white double doors and was instantly taken aback by the solid white shade of the corridor. It seemed so boring! How was she supposed to have fun in a place like this? Without a second thought, she pranced across the hallway and pushed her way through the second set of double doors into the cavernous room beyond. The gray unicorn standing on the platform watched curiously as the pink mare gazed out across the warehouse without any signs of surprise or wonder. In all her years working there, she had never once seen a pony who didn’t gasp in awe at the expanse the first time.

“Don’t be alarmed, whatever you’re feeling is a normal reaction and you’re –“

“Neat!” Pinkie interrupted the unicorn’s drawl speech to bounce over to the computer terminal and start pushing random buttons. The gray mare watched on intently as the pink pony managed to navigate her way through the entire system in a matter of minutes.

“As you can see we have many models to choose from.” The unicorn stepped over to the console. “Sizes range from a scale of one to ten for all features of the body. This means that if you want a stallion with size ten muscles you just scroll until you get to ‘10’ right next to where it says ‘muscles’.” She pointed with her hoof to the screen exactly where she was talking about.

“Well DUH!” Pinkie cocked her head and let her tongue fall out as she continued to work the console.

“Hey some ponies find it difficult to work the console the first time.”

“Pfft yeah right! Like anypony wouldn’t be able to figure out how to work a computer in ten seconds flat!”

“You’d be surprised.” The gray unicorn sighed as she turned to stroll out of the room before turning back. “Oh and one last thing, when you’ve picked one that you like you may proceed to any of the unoccupied rooms in the hallway you came from and enter the stallion you picked in the console there.”

“Okie dokie! Wait! Do you have any pirates?”

“Uhm… No. We do not have any pirates.” The gray mare gave her a quizzical look.

“Well can you dress one up like a pirate?”

“That would be degrading to the stallion, please make your selection from the ones we have available.”

“Ahh,” Pinkie groaned turning back to the console.

“Well that’s a new one,” the unicorn said to herself after passing through the double doors.

“Now what kind do I want?” Pinkie spoke to herself while she shifted through the pictures of the stallions on the screen. “I guess I should start with seeing what an average one looks like. Hmm that’s pretty good, could use a longer neck though. Ah there we go, now I guess bigger leg muscles. Wow too big! Haha it looks like he’s stuffed with pillows! Now how about hair, long and flowing? I think yes! Ooh there’s even a setting for his dick size!” She burst into laughter at the size of the stallion’s member growing exponentially larger and smaller as she scrolled through the numbers from one to ten. “I guess that’s good for now.”

Content with her choice, the party mare pranced back across the metal platform to the white double doors, never once looking back at the spectacular scene of strange white pods hanging against the walls of the enormous cylindrical room.

“Is anypony in there?” Pinkie knocked on the first door with her hoof.

“Yes…” a labored moan came from inside between slow heavy breaths.

“Okie dokie!” the pink pony turned and bounced across the white corridor to the next set of doors before knocking again. No answer. With a nudge of her hoof the door swung open to reveal the room inside, as plain and as white as the corridor outside. “Well I certainly won’t be able to get off in here! I’m surprised anypony could!” Suddenly a bluish-gray cannon appeared in front of her as if out of nowhere and began spraying artillery shells of confetti and party balloons across the room. Within a matter of seconds the entire place was coated with streamers and every vibrant color imaginable. “Much better!” Pinkie rolled the cannon over to the corner of the room and hastily entered her selection of stallions into the console. Instantaneously, the wall across the room broke away and a giant robotic arm went to work selecting a pod from the massive chamber beyond. “Neat! It’s like a giant pop machine! A giant free pop machine of sex! I may have had this dream already…”

The mechanical arm appeared again with one of the white pods clutched in its polished metallic claws, setting it down squarely in the center of the room before proceeding away without any hesitation. Pinkie watched hesitantly from the corner as a series of clicks emanated from the pod at the same time the wall was closing back up behind it. Her heart froze for a moment. This was really happening. It wasn’t a dream. There was no turning back now. She would have to do this. No time for cold hooves.

The wall sealed with a second set of clicks and hisses. Pinkie found herself completely alone with the pod, waiting for it to do something.

Anything.

What was taking so long, didn’t she hear some clicks coming from it as the wall was closing? Maybe it was just her imagination. The waiting was driving her insane. She sat and stared from the corner as seconds turned into minutes and then what seemed like hours. Maybe something had gone wrong and they forgot to open it? Finally the unsure mare started to cautiously step forward towards the pod. It looked the same as the rest of the pods, how did she know she got the right one anyway? Ever so slowly, she came up to the white pod before reaching out a tentative, shaking hoof. The moment she was about to touch it the top snapped open with a thunderous hiss and sprayed white and blue smoke across the ground. Pinkie sprang back with a startled yelp and glared at the pod for a couple moments.

“Of course you would wait until I got close!” Pinkie lowered her eyes and yelled at the pod as it continued to hiss and crack open. She watched as the lid rose up to reveal a muscular dark figure in the mist, completely comatose. “Hey wake up silly! We got a job to do!”

The figure came to life suddenly in a fit of coughs as he struggled for air and collapsed out of the pod onto the floor. His legs wobbled like a newborn as he tried again and again to stand up to no avail.

“Ahhh,” Pinkie couldn’t help but find the massive figure adorable as he struggled to stand up. “Come on silly face. Let’s get you on your hooves.” She heaved and panted, lifting the stallion up as best she could and holding him over her shoulder until his legs began to stop shaking. “There, better?” The stallion nodded slowly, his whole body still trembling violently every few seconds. “Good!” The pink mare raced across to the corner of the room, returning a few moments later. The stallion looked up with a confused expression just as a deafening blast took him off his feet and hurled him across the room. “Perfect!” the earth pony giggled, rolling the party cannon out of the way and prancing over to where the stallion had landed with his back against the wall. A crimson overcoat now hung loosely from his shoulders and his head was adorned with a black tri-cornered hat complete with skull and crossbones. Pinkie bent in close, looking deep into his eyes as she put the finishing touches on the costume. With a loud snap, she let go of the black eye patch that hung over his right eye.

“Oh yes, you look dashing.” She felt her body growing hot as she gazed seductively at the stallion dressed as a pirate. This was turning out perfectly. Her biggest fantasy and she was about to fulfill it. ‘If only Twilight was more enthusiastic – maybe I could get her into a pirate costume someday.’ Pinkie sat and looked the stallion up and down as she began to run her hoof up her leg. Every inch of her skin was tingling as she threw her head back and let out an erotic moan. Her eyes began to glaze over as her primal instincts took charge and she couldn’t help but gaze down at the pulsating bulge that was covered by one side of the overcoat. His stomach muscles quivered as she looked over every inch of his body. The stallion remained motionless as she began to slide closer. Just to touch him, that was all she needed. With a firm hoof she ran down the length of his body, all the way from the corner of his pirate hat, down the center of his chest, grazing over his throbbing member, and down still to the tips of his hooves.

She relished every moment. Every area was a different reaction. The stallion drew back slightly as she rolled her hoof down his nose and then trembled slightly as she reached the top of his chest. By the time she got to his stomach he was quaking with anticipation. He let out a heavy breath and stared deep into her eyes with his one uncovered eye as she grazed over him and continuing on without any hesitation. She grinned as he pulled his hooves away at her tender caress. So he was ticklish. Excellent.

The two sat staring at each other for several minutes until Pinkie finally bent down closer. The stallion was hesitant as he tried to draw back further into the wall. “Oh is this your first time?” Pinkie asked with a secret tone of amusement, pulling herself closer. The stallion looked away. “Ah no need to be embarrassed or scared, it’s going to be the most wonderful thing you’ve ever experienced.” She flashed her eyelashes seductively. The stallion turned back with an empty stare. ‘Wait, he probably hasn’t experienced that much.’ Her heart skipped a beat as a pang of sadness and contempt for the world suddenly struck her. This truly was a messed up society, they were robbing innocent ponies of their lives. She stared at the ground, lost in thought, as tears began to well up behind her eyes. What kind of sick monsters were they to do this to another living creature? A single tear finally escaped, rolling down her cheek and hanging from her chin before striking the ground with a light pat. She closed her eyes and sniffed as another tear threatened to escape. Suddenly she opened her eyes to see a gentle hoof reaching out to lift her chin up.

She looked up to see the stallion with a sympathetic smile across his face, letting her know everything was alright. She smiled back, involuntarily rubbing her hoof up and down his leg again. The throbbing bulge from his coat had disappeared but she noticed something growing again as she continued to touch him. “Well we may as well have some fun, right?” she sniffed again moving her hoof further up his leg with a devilish grin. The stallion threw his head back and took a deep breath as she moved her hoof closer and closer before pulling away and starting the process over again. She was just teasing him at this point. Actually it was beyond teasing, it was torture. She grinned at his reactions as she continued to draw closer until finally grazing over the bulge that had grown substantially larger. The stallion threw his head back again, his muscles tensing as he tried his hardest to control himself. It was all he could do not to grab her hoof right then and there and force her to touch him - anything to end this suffering.

He almost yelped as the pink mare wrapped her hoof around his member that was still pulsating underneath the overcoat, crying out for freedom. He sat there paralyzed, unable to move as the earth pony smirked at the control she had over him while gripping his member. His head was frozen in a silent scream to the heavens as she continued to hold him without moving.

“P – please.” The stallion groaned quietly through a hollow breath.

Pinkie raised an eyebrow as she began to methodically move her hoof up and down over the course fabric. The stallion winced as she began to pump harder before pushing the dampening overcoat to the side. She stopped for a moment to watch as the stallion began to shift uncomfortably under her gaze before grasping him in her hoof again and sliding up and down the length of him until his hips moved and jerked on their own. Pinkie raised an eyebrow at him, taking the hint to speed up as she began to vigorously glide her hoof up and down until his breaths became strained and labored. The moment she heard his breathing skip a beat, she stopped, giving the stallion a wry smile as she moved away and sat down across the room near the bed. The stallion gave a pleading look, begging for relief from the pink mare who in turn only stared back innocently as if she didn’t know what was happening. The fog that glazed over his eyes slowly faded away as he struggled to get to his hooves and move closer to his tormenter. His legs still wobbled and shook as he arduously made his way next to the earth pony and collapsed at her feet, his flank hanging in the air from his member that remained rock hard below him. Pinkie grinned down at him as she flipped him over to his back and straddled his face before bending down towards his glistening cock. Pulling the underside of his pole closer with her hoof, she gave the throbbing shaft a quick lick. She could feel the stallion’s hot breath between her legs as she darted her tongue in and out all around him. Her slit burned as she pressed it down to the stallion’s face to urge him on as she continued to work his cock with her tongue. A massive moan escaped from the pink mare and echoed about the room as she finally felt a long broad tongue slide along her most sensitive area. She nearly collapsed on his chest as he continued to run his tongue up and down. Her moans rattled and shook between breaths as she lost herself in the ecstasy. ‘Who knew this could be so amazing? Oh Celestia that’s good.’

“Keep going,” Pinkie urged pressing her hips harder against his face and starting to grind her soaking mound in small circles. She continued to moan and gasp, lost in her ecstasy, until she felt a pulse run through his cock that she was still holding towards her face with her hoof. ‘Well that isn’t fair letting me have all the fun with nothing in return.’ Lining his member up closer to her mouth, she began to lick and suck on the head before taking it deeper and deeper until the stallion was forced to stop racing his tongue over her and catch his breath. His breathing became staggered again and Pinkie waited for the gap when she knew he was about to climax. Her head bobbed up and down as she drenched his shaft in warm saliva until the stallion finally gave a massive gasp. With a devilish smile, Pinkie pulled her mouth off of him and shifted away to lie on the bed seductively, all while motioning him over with an outstretched hoof. The stallion groaned heavily again as he struggled to his hooves and wobbled over to the bed before collapsing on top of the pink mare, pinning her down as he pushed himself up on his front legs. The pink mare gave a sly wink as she rolled over to her back and spread her legs for him. The stallion’s legs shook violently on either side of her head as he positioned himself closer to her and began to press his hips forward. She moaned as she felt the head of his pole force its way slowly inside of her drenched slit.

“Oh, you’re a little bigger than I thought.” Her voice quivered between long, heavy breaths as she shifted back and forth to let more of him in. “A lot bigger actually…” she spread her legs further allowing the stallion’s cock to push deeper and deeper until she felt his balls rest against her ass. The two remained locked at the hips, mouths agape in primal pleasure until the stallion finally pulled his hips up on quaking legs. The mare’s legs trembled as the entire length of him slowly slid out of her before diving abruptly in again. She moaned hot against his ear as the stallion gradually thrust again and again until his legs collapsed and he fell on top of her panting. “Come on, please, I need this. Do me.” She groaned between labored breaths. She felt the muscles of the stallion’s face tighten into a smile next to her as she desperately tried to shake her hips back and forth on the bed for any amount of pleasure she could get.

Her heart beat frantically against her chest as the stallion took a deep breath, sliding his hoof under her back and picking her up to flip her over. With all the strength he could muster, he faced her away and forced her up on her hooves, all the while still inside of her. She shook her flank in the air from side to side as he dug his hips in until her face was pressed against the headboard of the bed. Her cheek rubbed back and forth against the hard wood as she looked back at the stallion who began to methodically slide in and out of her. Sweat poured down her forehead and stung her eyes as her whole body began to slam into the headboard. She felt a familiar tingling begin to work its way up from between her legs and dominate her other senses before beginning to cry out in pleasure. Her entire body trembled and shook as she convulsed on his member and pushed back hard against him, but the stallion continued his relentless thrusts in and out of her even when the tremors began to die away. Before she knew it the feeling was enveloping her entire body again and she moaned as a second wave hit her. She climaxed again and again, lost in near agonizing amounts of ecstasy, until she finally felt the stallion bury himself as far as he could inside of her. Her head slammed painfully into the headboard as the stallion held her there and pumped his seed deep into her. The crick in her neck began to burn as his cock pulsated inside of her continuously for several seconds and she came again as their combined juices flowed out of her and down her leg. Half of her hair lay flat against her head from the drenching sweat that was smeared against the wooden headboard as she finally collapsed onto the soft mattress. The stallion followed suit, landing with his full weight on top of her before rolling over to give the pink mare some room to breathe.

She felt sleepy suddenly, but not sleepy enough to fall directly to sleep. She turned her head to smile at the stallion as he wrapped his hoof around her. A pool of sweat and juices soaked the bed where they lay, gradually cooling in the damp air as the pink mare snuggled into his embrace. The pirate hat had fallen off sometime during their escapade, she couldn’t remember when, but now rest flattened and crinkled next to her on the bed. As if out of impulse, she reached out and sloppily threw it over her face before closing her eyes. ‘Fantasy fulfilled, guess I can scratch that off the list.’

The next few moments were a blur as the front door burst open violently and several ponies in white hazmat suits galloped in. Pinkie yelped and jumped up at the intrusion, the hat flying off her face, as one of the ponies rushed over to grab her under her armpits and drag her kicking and screaming away from the stallion. She watched on in excruciating horror as two of the other suited ponies held down her lover and methodically forced a blue needle into his flank before abruptly turning and doing the same to her. The hazmat pony who held her looked down at her face from above, his expression indistinguishable beneath the black tinted visor. Pinkie looked up in confusion as her legs went numb and her vision slowly faded to black. ‘Why are they doing this?’ The last things she saw were the two other ponies struggling to roll the unconscious stallion back into the white pod and the black pirate hat that lay trampled on the floor as her head fell to her chest and her limp body was dragged out of the room.