Fallout Equestria: Private I.

by Enigmatic Otaku

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Sad, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Other, Sex
Length: 87020

In the irradiated slagpit once known as Equestria, one pony could have chosen anything as his profession, but instead he went for something a bit 'obscure'. Meet P.I. and just like his name implies, he chose to become a wasteland detective

In the irradiated slagpit once known as Equestria, one pony could have chosen anything as his profession, but instead he went for something a bit 'obscure'. Meet P.I. and just like his name implies, he chose to become a wasteland detective. Will this be a good choice in the long run, or will he end up dead for sticking his nose somewhere it doesn't belong?

Based in the same world as Kkat's original Fallout: Equestria.

Cover art by zoarvek

Published 2014-10-02 05:30:07 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-06 06:03:35 UTC

Chapter 2: The Scent of Oranges

Fallout Equestria: Private I.

Chapter 2: The Scent of Oranges

"Now we just need to find out whodunit!"
"You mean, 'Who DID it'."
"Zactly!! Who did done doed it!"﻿

* * *

At some point during the trip, I fell asleep, but quickly awoke when the cart suddenly jolted to a halt. I didn't hear any gunshots or screams, so I knew we weren't just ambushed by any raiders. Also, I was aware that there was no way we reached Woodtrot this soon, so I remained with my back to the floor of the cart with my hat over my eyes. Whatever caused this delay, I was sure that the two stallions pulling the cart could handle it.

Trying to go back to sleep, I heard a mare speak with a silvery voice. "Excuse me, I'm kind of lost. Would any of you stallions know where the nearest town is?"

One of the stallions answered her. "Hmm, I think there's a settlement just beyond that ridge over there. We would offer you a ride, but we're in a rush. Can you make it there on your own?"

There was silence for a while until the mare responded. "Thank you, I think I can manage."

"Then best of luck to you, ma'am."

The cart was rocking as the earth ponies once again took off in a full gallop. Several minutes down the road, one of the stallions spoke.

"Wait, isn't that settlement a slaver town?"

"Crap! I think it is, should we go back for her?"

The other pony was silent for a moment before responding. "No, she looked like a smart mare; I'm sure she'll notice before she even sets foot in there, and besides...Ol' Citrus would be very upset with us if he found out we were delayed more than once."

I slowly sat up, raised my hat and watched with groggy eyes over to the horizon. In the distance, I spotted what looked like a charcoal-black unicorn with a white mane traveling down the road all on her lonesome.

* * *

My second sleep was woken by the sound of a stallion's voice and a hoof nudging me.

"Sir?"

Please just let me sleep. Maybe if I ignore him, he'll go away.

I was nudged again, this time a bit rougher.

"Sir, we arrived."

Right, right...the job. Getting up was a struggle for my sore muscles. The mystery of how I even fell asleep on this thing, not once, but twice, was too much of a puzzle even for me. Hopping off the cart, I yawned as I stretched my legs. The two sweaty stallions looked at me with envious eyes.

Ok, P.I., no need to upset the nice stallions that just hauled you across the wasteland by showing off how well rested you are when compared to them.

I coughed into my hoof and scanned the area.

The settlement of Woodtrot appeared to have been built around the ruins of a small urban town. Surrounding the town was a makeshift barrier composed of scorched billboards, plywood, and whatever else that was on hoof at the time of its construction. Walking along the top of the wall were ponies wielding rifles, patrolling the town's perimeter. Ol' Citrus was right, this place was secure. The way into the town was by two large slabs of rusted metal on hinges attached to the wall, acting as the entrance for the town. Atop the gate, the name 'Woodtrot' was spelled out using letters that were either neatly cut or barbarically ripped out from different advertisements.

Giving my thanks to the two stallions, I made for the entrance. As I entered, the ponies on the wall watched my every movement for any sign of unwanted trouble. Now inside, I could see that most of the buildings where either uninhabitable or collapsed into mountains of bricks; those that survived were converted into homes and businesses for those who lived here.

Homes were repaired for their original purposes, while buildings like firehouses and restaurants were turned into stores and inns for the locals and traders. I stopped, then looked around, where there's a settlement there's almost always a...a bar!

Spotting it, I quickly made my way to the one building in this town that had a flashing sign depicting a frothing cup of cider. I didn't have to be a detective to know that was the universal symbol for alcohol.

The bar door creaked loudly as it swung inwards. The place was what you would expect from a pub; the hardwood counter had multiple ring stains on it as it spanned half way across the room along one of the walls. Behind it was a refrigerator and a rack stocked with all kinds of bottles, each filled with different pre-war alcoholic brands. The space in the center of the room was full of wooden tables, one was occupied by hardened looking wastelanders in the middle of a card game; caps rested on the center of the table, acting as poker chips. Oddly, a couple of the tables were smashed and had drops of fresh blood around them, indicating that something had happened here recently.

Approaching the bar, I took a seat in one of the many stools facing it. Behind the counter was the bar pony, a middle aged dark blue unicorn holding a rag in his magic and using it to clean a glass cup.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asked.

My response came with a friendly smile. "A sparkle cola would be fine."

Without even turning around, he opened the fridge with his magic, pulled out a bottle of cola, popped the cap off (Which he kept...) then slid the cola over the counter towards me. After giving him the caps for the beverage, I used both hooves to carefully pick up the bottle and brought it to my lips. Ugh, warm...figures...Why even have a fridge if you're not gonna keep drinks cool?

"So..." I took another sip, set the bottle back down, then gestured to the smashed tables behind me. "What's the story behind that?"

The bar pony wiped the counter as he spoke. "Eh, some mare showed up to town way early in the morning. Came in here, and some of the boys in their inebriation got a little rowdy. They wouldn't take no for an answer, so..." He chuckled "That's when she got rowdy-er. I swear, I've never seen anything like it. One mare was able to knock around six stallions all on her own." The bar pony then looked over me and grinned to one of the stallions playing cards. "Gave you one heck of a black eye. Hope you learned a lesson there, Skeeter."

"Ahh shut it!" Yelled...well, I'm assuming that was Skeeter.

"Maybe I would consider that when one of you pays for the damages." Retorted the bar-pony.

"So what happened to the mare?" I asked.

The bar-pony responded as he went back to wiping the counter. "Security ponies showed up and took her in."

"I see..." I said as I nodded. "Listen, I'm looking for somepony. A cousin of mine. Was told she might be here." I still remembered Tangerine's description from Citrus earlier. "She's an orange unicorn with a green mane and tail. Around my age. Has an orange with two leaves for a cutie mark. Ring any bells?"

"Hmm." The bar pony placed a hoof under his chin. "Did she always carry around a saddlebag full of oranges?"

"Yes, that's her!" I was going out on a limb here; I honestly didn't know if she did or not, but who else in this town would have access to oranges when they were considered a rare commodity?

"That sounds like Tangerine." A frown formed on the bartender's face. "Kid, I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I hear she's gone missing."

I tried to look utterly shocked. "W-what? What do you mean she's missing?"

He slowly shook his head as he spoke. "I mean just that, and she ain't the only one too."

Wait, what!? Citrus failed to mention any other missing ponies...I had to know more. "Other ponies? Who?"

"From what I hear, a dozen or so mares have disappeared recently."

Something wasn't making sense... "How can somepony just disappear here? Let alone a dozen. I thought this place was supposed to be safe?"

"You're preaching to the choir, kid. Woodtrot security is investigating, but so far, they came up with squat." The bartender looked to the table were the ponies were still playing poker. "Skeeter, when are you gonna get off your arse and find them!?"

"When you quit hounding me!" Yelled Skeeter.

"You know what I think?!" The bartender slammed a hoof on the counter, causing my cola to jump. "I think you're just lazy!"

"Ah says you. I'm on break! I'll get on it when I get on it." I could see why security was having such a hard time locating the mares...

To my amazement, a notification popped up in my E.F.S.

Notes Taken

-More than one pony went missing in Woodtrot recently.

- All were mares.

-Tangerine was always seen with a saddlebag full of oranges.

Oh...that was neat. But these clues...was there a reason for this? Any significance?

Whatever it was, I wasn't going to find the answer in here.

Finishing my cola, I got out of my seat and started for the door, but before I exited, I turned back to the bartender.

"Say, you wouldn't happen to know where I can find Tangerine's place? Would you?"

* * *

Tangerine's home resided inside a two story building near the edge of the town, a couple buildings over from the barricade. The bottom floor used to be a small flower shop while the second floor was where the original owners would live. Trying the door, I found that it was strangely unlocked. Stepping inside, I could see clay pots, each filled with soil and budding plants, over them rested fluorescent lamps hooked up to spark batteries. My guess, these plants where gonna be Tangerine’s first orange trees.

Immediately, I began to search the shop, and it didn't take long for me to find a mess in the backroom. In the center was an overturned table, complete with smashed pot, soil, and some weird chemicals pooled over the floor tiles.

Oh this wasn't good. There was a struggle here.

Looks like she was in the middle of caring for the plant when somepo-

SHHHCH

I quickly became tense. I just heard a shuffling noise through the ceiling... Somepony was upstairs.

With Conversationalist drawn, I made my way slowly up the stairs. The shuffling noise continued as, just now, I noticed a green bar shuffling around on my E.F.S. (I'm still new to the thing. Could you blame me for not noticing earlier?) Halfway up the stairs, my weight caused one of the steps to creak.

Shit...

The green bar stopped moving and remained still.

Now upstairs, I reached the door that the bar was behind and slowly swung it open. On the other side was a violet coated earth pony buck, a bit older than me, with a silver mane. He was wearing typical wasteland barding and a battle saddle; attached to it, a hunting rifle was trained right on me.

We were at a standstill, both of us with a weapon pointed at the other.

I was the first to break the silence.

"Who are you?" Well that's what I tried to say, but with Conversationalist in my mouth, it sounded more like 'Fwo har hyu?'

Regardless, the other pony understood my meaning.

"Boresight, and you...", he then pointed to a round piece of metal with the letter 'W' engraved, pinned to his barding, "are interfering with Woodtrot security business."

After a couple more seconds of starring at each other, I was the first one to back down by slowly lowering my weapon and putting it back in its holster. A part of me was a little disappointed, hoping that he was hostile just so I would have an opportunity to try out S.A.T.S. for the first time.

"So," Boresight said after he too lowered his weapon, "now that we got the formalities out of the way, I'd ask you the same question."

"I'm..." I didn't want to say my name out of fear that word would spread of a detective running around town asking questions. Ok, P.I. Think of something...think think think...think of something common, but not too common. "Lucky...Lucky Horseshoe"

IDIOT! The part of my brain that came up with that was being beaten to a bloody pulp by the other parts.

"Lucky, huh?" Oh wow, he bought it! "And why are you here?"

I shook my head to distract myself from the brain beating, then cleared my throat. "I was told this is my cousin's place. Dropped in to see if she was here."

Boresight raised an eyebrow. "Do you normally greet your relatives with a weapon?"

"Oh! It's an, um..." I coughed into my hoof. "Inside...joke..."

"Well it wasn't funny to me... I could have killed you!" Responded the security pony.

"Sorry. What are you doing here anyway?"

A look of concern appeared on his face. "You've...heard about your cousin...right?"

"I heard a rumor that she's gone missing recently..."

Boresight nodded slowly. "I'm afraid that's true. As for why I'm here, well, I decided to search this place for any clue as to where she is." He scratched his mane. "But so far, I'm stumped. I thought I would find something like a note explaining where she's gone or...or something."

I cocked my head. "And you're doing this on your own because...?"

He scoffed. "Those other security ponies who are supposed to be searching would rather be drinking, gambling, or chasing tail, instead of being out here looking for our own." His face shifted to one of annoyance. "I have half a mind to tell the town mayor that they be replaced with competent ponies."

I could easily recall Skeeter and his gang from earlier.

"Well why don't you?" I asked.

He lowered his eyes. "Believe you me, I'd love to, but Woodtrot is a town of a couple hundred, and there's only so many who have either the skills or drive to protect it. We take what we can get." His mouth formed a scowl. "Even if there's some ponies who sign up just for the gun and sense of authority, but are nowhere to be found when they're needed."

Well, it was good to know that there were at least some ponies in Woodtrot's security who were actually doing their jobs. But as much as I respected Boresight for his dedication, he was kinda interfering with my own investigation. I was going to have to get rid of him somehow.

After some quick thinking, I got it. "Boresight..." I forced up a sigh. "Ya mind giving me a few minutes alone here?"

He looked at me quizzically. "Why? I'm still searching for clues."

"Oh, I-I know, but I'd like to see if I can find any personal items..." His eyebrow raised again. "T-to bring to the family back home...in case...y-you know."

He stared at me for a couple seconds, and when he finally got it, he mouthed an 'ooh'. "I'll head outside then." I don't want to sound like I'm tooting my own horn here, but I think that performance would have won multiple awards for best in show back in pre-war times. "But if you find anything important, you best tell me. Is that understood?" Without breaking eye contact, I nodded. "Well I'll leave you to it then."

Finally, the violet security pony left me to my own investigation.

Adjusting my hat, I took note of the room I was in. It was a single room with one window that had some decrepit looking curtains, and two doors; one leading to the stairs I climbed earlier, and the other to a bathroom. What furniture Tangerine owned here consisted of a slightly charred bookcase, (possibly scavenged, then sold to her), a couple drawers, a coffee table, and a bed. Even up here, there was a row of clay pots lined up against one of the walls.

Well, time to see what I can find.

After some time searching around the room, I noticed something. Screwed into one of the walls was a hook rack with three hooks, the first two were occupied by a coat and a pre-war sun hat, the third hook however, had nothing on it.

I had a hunch, but just to be sure, I brought up my notes on the PipBuck. A couple button presses later and... YEP! There it was on the small screen.

Tangerine was always seen with a saddlebag full of oranges.

Since the coat and hat were hung, then by using that logic, the third hook would have been for her saddlebags. But, empty hook, so Tangerine must have had her saddlebags on her when she went missing.

Putting some extra thought into it, there were signs of a struggle downstairs, meaning that somepony had broke in, but after looking around, I saw no broken glass, tampered locks, or busted doors.

How could they have gotten in?

Well, I did have one theory, but to confirm it, I was going to need something that I didn't have on me. Where would I find one in a jiffy? After a couple of seconds rubbing my chin, I suddenly facehoofed with a grin as I remembered that I did indeed see one on my way in.

Running downstairs, I grabbed the spark-battery that was powering the fluorescent light, and on my way back up, I found a hammer and screwdriver; I was going to need these as well.

Once I was back in the room, I used the screwdriver to open the spark-battery's casing, exposing the small magical gem inside. Extracting it, I then put it inside the pillowcase I got from Tangerine's bed and proceeded to smash it with the hammer against the coffee table. I didn't stop until the gem was the consistency of a fine powder.

I then looked around for something that Tangerine was guarantied to have lifted with her magic. I settled for her hat. Placing the hat on the table, I then poured a small amount of the gem powder onto it.

Now, count to three Conterlots.

One Canterlot...

Two Canterlot...

The powder on the hat started to glow.

Three Canterlot...

I blew the powder away on the third Canterlot, and what remained on the hat was a faint orange glow.

What I just did was a little trick I learned in one of my detective novels. Whenever something is picked up using unicorn magic, the item is left with faint traces of the magic; it's sort of the magical equivalent of a hoofprint. By spreading gem powder over the hat, I was able to momentarily revive that magical signature by using the gem's magic. Old Equestrian law enforcement would have kept each criminal unicorn's unique magical frequency on record, but since this was the wastes, I didn't have such a luxury. Instead, I settled for the color of the magic.

Tangerine's description stated that she was an orange unicorn with a green mane, so her magic would have been either orange or green. The hat glowed orange, so this was to be my control sample.

Moving the dusty curtains out of the way, I now had an unobstructed view of the window; bellow it was a small latch, locking the window shut. This was still a hunch but I shook out some gem power onto the latch.

Three Canterlots later and... BINGO!

I blew away the powder as the latch started glowing a mustard yellow. I didn't have any worry about the possibility of multiple magical signatures causing different colors to blend, because what I also learned from my novels was that magical traces acted like...well...I'm not very good at explaining this myself, so I'm going to describe it the same way one of my books did.

Pretend unicorn magic is paint, and the item you use it on, is a barn. When you repaint a barn with a new color, you paint over the old one.

Opening the window, I stuck my head out and saw that right outside was an old fire escape. This confirmed my hunch as to why there wasn't a forced entry.

A unicorn with either a mustard yellow coat or mane climbed up the escape and used their magic to unlock the window from the outside.

This also meant that Tangerine was taken.

A couple more minutes of searching turned up no further clues. Exiting the building, I approached Boresight who was still hanging around outside.

"Boresight..." I said.

He stopped his whistling and turned to me. "Yes?"

"In the letters my cousin sent me. She often spoke of a barn north of the town that she liked to visit sometimes. Do you know where it is?"

"Yeah, I know where that is." He said with a nod. "That's just outside of the wall though; can't see why anypony would want to hang around there."

"You mind taking me? Just to make sure she isn't there or something..."

He regarded me for a moment before he answered. "Sure...follow me."

* * *

The barn where Ol' Citrus left the ransom money was in total disarray; a large section of the roof was missing, several of the walls had severe scorch marks, most of the wood it was made from was rotting, what little red paint that survived was peeling away, and one of the barn's double doors was missing. Walking inside, the stench of pungent mildew was like a slap to the nostrils. Breathing through my mouth, I continued my search for any leads.

Citrus said he put the requested caps inside a bag and left it in the center of the barn around midnight, then waited outside, hoping that his daughter would be released to him. He waited for several hours, but his daughter was never brought to him, and when he checked the barn again, the bag was gone.

After several minutes of searching, (followed by in-between breaks of me going outside for fresh air), I found something that I almost missed.

Right when I was about to leave, I noticed that one section of the floorboards didn't have as much ash covering it as the rest, forming a less dirty square shape on the floor. Tapping the boards that did have ash caused a solid sound. Tapping the square caused an echoey sound, almost as if it were...hollow.

Spotting a rack full of long rusted farm tools, I took a spade, forced it in between some floorboards and easily pulled them off. (They weren't even nailed in...) Underneath was a small gap big enough for a pony to squeeze into. At the bottom of the gap were discarded water bottles and snack cake wrappers. Somepony was waiting in here...

With this new information, I formed the scenario in my head.

Citrus showed up and placed the bag in the barn. He steps outside and waits for hours. The pony under the floor comes out and takes it, then goes back into the gap. But hold on a minute! They never told Citrus to wait outside. He did that on his own because the letter never gave any instruction about what to do next. So how would the pony waiting under the barn have known when to leave? Citrus waited for hours. If the pony didn't know that, Citrus would have seen him exiting the barn at some point. So the question is...how did the ransom pony know when it was safe to leave?

I stepped outside to get some fresh air.

"You know." Boresight said. "I could have told you that she wasn't in there."

I snorted to clear out any trace of the mildew smell from my nasal cavities. "Ugh, I can see why somepony wouldn't want to hang out in there."

"Still," Boresight said with a small shrug, "I'm sorry she wasn't there. Listen, I'm sure that if you come with me, you and I can convince the sheriff to--"

I couldn't hear a word Boresight was saying, as something caught my attention.

Atop the town wall I could see two guard ponies, both on opposite ends of the barricade. They were talking to each other, even though they were both out of the others hearing range. After squinting my eyes to get them into better focus, I saw how. They were talking into metal devices that were shaped like rectangles and had antennas sticking out of them. They were walkie talkies...

My eyes widened with a realization.

"--In no time... Hey, you feeling alright?"

I shook my head and refocused on Boresight. "Y-yeah, just worried about Tangerine is all. What...what were you saying?"

He rolled his eyes. "I said that we might be able to convince Sheriff Bronze Star to get more ponies searching the town. Maybe show some of that concern for your cousin that you showed me earlier."

I nodded. "Yeah...yeah."

"Good, I'll take you to him."

Once again, Boresight lead me to my next destination.

* * *

I was led to a building near the center of the town that used to be a police station. Naturally, this was where Woodtrot's security would met up in. Once inside, I followed Boresight through a large room full of old desks and ponies shuffling about. Sitting on top of most of the desks were terminals, some were even still in working order.

Boresight stopped at a door and started knocking.

A voice came from behind the door. "Come in."

Boresight opened the door, turned, and motioned for me to go in with him. Doing so, I entered the room and spotted sitting behind a large oak wood desk, a bright blue unicorn buck with a black mane and tail, sporting a handlebar mustache. He wore a faded black cowboy hat and protective barding that was in much better condition than what the other guards had.

"Sir," Boresight placed a hoof on my shoulder, "this is Lucky Horseshoe." He then pointed to the mustachioed stallion. "Lucky, meet our head of Woodtrot security; Sheriff Bronze Star."

Bronze Star tilted his hat in my direction and spoke in a gruff voice. "Evenin', what's the occasion for this here meetin'?"

I opened my mouth to speak but Boresight cut me off.

"We came here to see if we could persuade you to maybe put some more ponies on the search for the missing--"

Bronze Star slammed his front hooves on the desk, silencing Boresight. "Dammit Boresight! We've been through this already! We're already doing what we can with who we have on hoof, or do you want me to get some of the guards off wall duty, hmm?" His tone changed to a sarcastic one. "Let's put the whole town at risk."

Boresight used a more aggressive tone. "Maybe we should. Maybe then you'd see that some of these ponies don't even know how to do their jo--."

A knock from besides me interrupted their argument. Standing in the door-frame was an olive coated unicorn buck with a yellow mane and tail, who spoke in a familiar graty voice. "Boss, me and my group just searched the old subway like you's said."

"And?" Bronze Star replied.

"Crap hole was empty as always, nuthin' but radroaches."

Bronze nodded. "I appreciate your efforts, Skeeter. You're dismissed." He then looked at Boresight. "You were saying?"

As Skeeter walked down the hallway and the two continued their argument, I caught a whiff of something in the air; it was a sweet, sensuous odor, almost like that of an...orange.

Quickly stepping into the hallway, I saw Skeeter at the far end, heading for the exit.

Unicorn...

Yellow mane...

And the scent of an orange...

The two security ponies didn't even notice me leave over their bickerment.

* * *

It was starting to get dark as I followed Skeeter for half an hour, looking for a chance to get him alone.

As he walked into an alley, my window of opportunity arrived. Once he was halfway in, I quickly dove at him from behind, knocking him down and completely taking him by surprise; a couple oranges spilled from his saddlebags when they fell off him. Using my earth pony strength, I managed to pin him to the ground, however, he then pulled out his pistol with his magic and tried to aim it at me. Before he could pull the trigger, I slapped it away, causing the gun to skid on the ground away from his magical range.

Skeeter had difficulty speaking as I pressed my forearm against his neck. "P-please! Give – me a little more...time! You'll have your money by tonight...p-promise!"

"Not here for that!" I picked up one of the oranges with my hoof using every bit of earth pony dexterity I had and brought it up to Skeeter's face. "I know you have her! Where is she!?"

Skeeter's eyes widened with the realization of who I was. "Ah, fuck! You's the cousin from the bar!"

"I didn't ask if you recognized me!" I squeezed his neck a bit harder. "Where is she, and why have you taken her!?"

"F-fuck you man! I ain't-- tellin' ya nuthin'! He'd kill me if ah don't ge--"

"Wrong!" I cut him off. "I might kill you if you don't tell me what's going on!" I then started to smash the orange against his face. On the third strike, the peel broke, squirting juice into his black eye.

Skeeter squirmed under me as he screamed for several seconds. "Fine! Fine! I'll tell you! Pleeease stop!"

Just what I wanted to hear. "I kept hearing about some missing mares, was that you!?"

He stared at me with one eye closed and a hint of defiance on his face. That disappeared when I lifted the pulped orange over him, ready to get his other eye should he felt the need to lie to me. "Yes! It's me and my squad!"

His squad? Well that explained the barn scenario; one pony on the wall watching over the barn and Citrus, the other hiding under the floorboards with a walkie talkie.

"Why do this!?" I questioned. "You're supposed to be protecting this town!"

Skeeter squealed a bit as I waved the orange near his face. "M-me and the guys! We've run up a large amount of debt to some very important big-shot!" I applied some pressure to his neck in order to convince him to get to the point. "W-we know some slavers who would pay a ton of caps for some mares! For...entertainment purposes! They visit the town sometimes! T-the gang and I made arrangements...to meet inside the old subway tonight! They give us the caps, and we give them the mares we collected!"

Something didn't make sense, how would the slavers have gotten out of Woodtrot with the mares? I couldn't imagine slavers being able to just walk through the front gates unnoticed with the missing ponies that security has been looking for.

"How would the slavers get into the subway?" I asked.

Skeeter's voice was starting to get hoarse. "The...the subway has a tunnel that exits just outside of Woodtrot's barricade."

One last tidbit of info was needed.

"Why send a ransom for Tangerine if you were already going to get paid for the mares?"

He coughed. "Wasn...wasn't my idea. A couple of the guys got greedy once we found out that the bitch's dad was loaded."

And after that is when I came into the picture...

Now that I heard everything, I bit Conversationalist's mouthpiece and pulled it from its holster.

The look Skeeter gave me was one of utter horror. "Oh, oh fuck no! I just tolds ya what you wanted to hear man! You's don't have to kill me!"

I pointed the gun at him and grinned for a couple seconds, then tossed it in the air, caught it in my mouth by the barrel, and slammed the other end against his skull, knocking him unconscious.

I spat out Conversationalist onto my hoof and got off of Skeeter.

"You're right...you're not worth the price of the bullet."

* * *

Using a length of rope I found lying around in the alley, I tied up Skeeter and stashed him inside an old garbage dumpster.

Now that he was dealt with, there was still the issue with the rest of his squad. They had Tangerine and the other mares tucked away inside the subway right under Woodtrot, ready to be sold to slavers tonight.

I was losing daylight, so I had to work fast. Running around the town, I finally spotted one of the entrances to the subway. I descended down the long flight of stairs and passed a row of broken ticket booths, only to be greeted to darkness. Standing in the dark, I began fiddling with my PipBuck and was almost blinded when the screen gave off a bright green light. (Note to self: Look away the next time you turn that on...) Now partially illuminated, I could see a long abandoned subway station with train tracks running along both sides of it; ceramic tiles had fallen off the walls and support pillars, littering the ground. Despite that, I could still make out a mural on one of the walls made from colored tiles. They formed the image of Princess Luna spreading her wings over a flock of foals beneath her, all in awe of her presence. Above that was a train schedule that displayed information like street names, what train goes where, and when a certain train would arrive.

I waved my PipBuck around to get a better view of the station.

Oh no...four tunnels. There was no way I would be able to search the entire subway in time. Maybe if I try to quickly go one by--

I stopped that thought and facehoofed, as now I just noticed multiple green dots clustered together on my E.F.S.; all in the direction of the tunnel I would have checked last...

I hopped off the elevated platform and landed beside the rails, then ran down the aforementioned tunnel. I stopped running and turned off my light when I spotted a glow coming from around the curve of the tunnel.

I stayed in the shadows, but was just close enough to see what the source of the glow was. What I saw was a similar looking station to the one I had used to enter the subway. In it was a flaming barrel sitting in the center of a dozen mares who were all kept in an improvised cage. Just outside the cage were six ponies all in Woodtrot security barding.

Skeeter's squad... They were sitting next to their own fire while playing cards and drinking.

"The fuck is Skeeter!?" One of the guards yelled.

"Hell if I know. Asshole is probably off drinking at the bar, while we watch over the cunts."

"Fuck him, we don't need him for the trade off. When are they getting here anyway?"

"Couple more hours. After that, it will be easy sailing from here on out. No more worrying about you-know-who after our asses."

"I hear ya, I'd finally be able go to sleep without fear of somepony waiting to slit my throat."

"Oh yeah! Plus we got our little 'bonus' from that orange filly there."

The pony who said that pointed at a mare in the cage. She was orange with a green mane, and on her flank was an orange with two leaves attached to the stem... Tangerine...

The six ponies all joined in a chorus of laughter, that was then interrupted when the mare beside Tangerine spoke up. She was a young, amber coated earth pony with emerald eyes, a black mid-length mane and tail with multiple streaks of yellow, and was also wearing what looked like full body Stable barding that had the number '73' embroidered on it.

"Just let us go you assholes! I kicked the crud out of you most of you there, I'd do it to the rest of you too!"

The security ponies only laughed harder. Then one of them spoke to the mare who just yelled at them. "Oh you are just the sweetest. Lucky us you came to town when you did. We're probably gonna get extra for you; I hear Stable ponies are...'softer'."

The amber mare actually growled at him through the fence.

"Yellow." Tangerine spoke. "Please don't make them upset, they have guns!"

"Ha!" Yellow scoffed. "And it's because of those guns that they even got me."

Tangerine rolled her eyes. "That...and you thought you were being arrested."

"Hey!" Yellow brought a foreleg to her chest. "I'm new to this whole 'wasteland' thing! How was I supposed to know that these dicks were crooked?!"

"Shut up!" A guard yelled at the two. "I'd be quiet now, unless you always wanted to know what it was like to be a corpse!" He then pointed his rifle at Yellow. She glared at him for a second or two, then backed down. "Good girl."

Having seen enough, I crept over the train tracks and climbed onto a section of the platform that was shrouded in a pillar's shadow cast by the fires.

With the security ponies in the middle of their game and conversation, I snuck by the cage. The mares spotted me, one of them looked ready to scream until I quickly put a hoof to my lips.

"Shh." I spoke in a volume that only the mares would hear. "I'm here to get you out."

Silently, a few nodded. I then tip-toed to the entrance of the fence. Shit...there was a padlock keeping it closed.

The amber mare approached me and whispered. "One of them has the key."

Turning to the six ponies, I spotted a key hooked to a chain attached to the barding of one of them.

There was no way I could sneak up and take the key without them noticing. Straight out engaging them in a firefight now would be suicide. The odds were six to one, not to mention that there were defenseless ponies in here; I didn't want any of them to get hit by a stray bullet.

Ooh, what to do, what to do?

"Hey, psst..." I turned back to the amber mare. She motioned with her hoof for me to get closer. Doing so, she began whispering in my ear. "I have an idea."

After hearing her out, I nodded. It seemed like a decent idea, and it was better than my plan of...well, nothing...

* * *

"Hey." The guards ignored the amber mare. "HEY!"

An irritated guard responded to her cry. "What is it now!?"

"I have to go to the little fillies room."

The guard shook his head. "No, forget it."

"Oh come oooooooooon!" Groaned the amber mare, her legs twitching under her. "I haven't been able to go all day since you brought me here!"

"We don't care." The guard said matter of factly.

A grin appeared over the mare's mouth. "Fine, wait here in a station that is going to smell like crap in a couple minutes."

The guards turned to one another. It was clear by the look of their faces that they wouldn't have liked that.

One of them spoke up. "Fine! Casing, you take her!"

"Why do I got to do it?" Casing, an earth pony responded.

"Cause you got the key, dingus. Besides, it'll be fine; just take her there, and if she tries any cute shit, shoot her in the kneecap."

Casing grumbled for a bit. "Fine! But next time, one of you fuckers do it!" He got up, walked to the cage and unlocked it. When the mare stepped out, he relocked the cage, then escorted Yellow at gunpoint to the bathroom.

The subway bathroom had clearly seen better days; its once pristine, tiled white walls were gray, cracked and had sections of it missing entirely. The same could be said for its mirrors, now coated in a thick layer of dust from centuries of neglect. The sinks were just covered in rust and decades old stains, but worst of all were the toilet stalls. Some of the stalls didn't even have toilets in them, instead they had smashed chunks of porcelain were a toilet would have been.

The bathroom was just as dark as the tunnels, so Casing used the flashlight taped to his rifle to light the way from behind Yellow.

Yellow stopped in front of one of the stalls. "Can you check it for radroaches? I don't want one of those things jumping out at me while I crap."

Casing didn't hide his annoyance as he reluctantly opened the stall.

At the same time he opened his stall, I opened the one I was hiding in; the one right behind Casing...

"See, there's noth--"

Casing failed to finish that sentence as I hit him at the back of his head using the blunt end of Conversationalist. Casing fell to the ground, slumped besides the toilet. At some point, I really should use Conversationalist for its intended purpose... On the plus side, I do save ammo.

Yellow then took the key and detached the flashlight from the rifle, then placed it on the floor between us; it illuminated both of us and the ceiling.

Putting my gun back in its holster, I faced Yellow. "You got 'em?"

A smile spread across her face as she presented the keys over the light. "Right here."

I nodded. "Nice, that was a good plan."

"Heh, I can't believe that actually worked... So what now?"

I was silent for a spell as I thought about it. "I'll create a distraction, try and draw them away from the cage. When that happens, you go unlock it, and try to sneak the mares out. Think you can manage that?"

"Ha! Piece of cake."

"Alright, you'll know it when you hear it." I then exited the bathroom and snuck behind one of the support pillars just far enough away from the guards. Each of them was just as armed as Casing was, so I had to do this right.

I drew Conversationalist and took a couple short controlled breaths to psych myself up before doing this.

As soon as I was ready, I immediately emerged from behind the pillar and started shooting in the direction of the guards, being extra careful not to hit the mares.

After my first couple shots, they scrambled and hid behind whatever they could; the corrupt security ponies didn't even look at the mares, as their concern was now me. Now behind cover, the guards returned fire, causing me to fall back behind the pillar. I spotted one trying to reposition to get a better shot at me. As he ran out of cover, I leaned out and fired; a yelp of pain confirmed that I hit him, however, after taking that shot, so was I. The bullet hit my right shoulder, and as it bled, my right foreleg was starting to feel numb. I also noticed that on my PipBuck screen, there was a picture of a fedora and tie wearing earth pony with his whole right foreleg flashing red.

Luckily, the bullet passed through and didn't hit any bone. As bullets were peppering the pillar, I began scrambling around in my saddlebags until I found a vial full of glowing purple liquid. Popping the cork, I guzzled the sweet tasting liquid then watched as the wound started to close and feeling was returning to my leg. Healing potions were amazing.

Once I heard them reloading, I dashed out and moved to new cover, shooting to keep them pinned as I did so. Now behind a new pillar I started reloading my gun. On the second I finished, one of them was besides me; he must have chased me here! Before he pulled the trigger, I reacted by hastingly knocking his gun aside, forcing him to shoot the floor. I then kicked him away from me, causing him to be pushed back into his allies' fire. Two down, three to go...

Peering around my new cover, I saw that two of them were both shooting from behind the same bench. Well, now was as good a time as any. Leaning out of cover, I repeatedly mentally shouted for S.A.T.S., hoping that my PipBuck would detect my need for it...

Nothing happened... Or to be more precise, nothing was moving. The two guards were aiming at me, but weren't firing. I was suspended in time! I couldn't even move!

Well shit... The PipBuck froze my brain or something... Oh that's just great! I'm probably dead right now, and my brain hasn't registered it yet! Chesterfield sold me a defective PipBuck! Oh I should have taken Conversationalist from him, and slapped him upside the head wit--

My supposed last thoughts were interrupted when the head of one of the guards was highlighted. Above it, I could see the words 'Head Targeted' and a percentage in my vision. Oh... I mentally blushed from self embarrassment, then queued one shot for each of their heads.

Umm...accept?

Time resumed as my body partially moved on its own, shooting both of the guard's heads. They fell to the floor almost in unison. One of them did hit me during that stunt, but my vest took the bullet. Luckily, it was made from bullet-proof material, so the impact was more annoying than life threatening.

But...that was awesome! So that's what S.A.T.S. does! I stroked my PipBuck, and had a new-found appreciation for it. That was cut short however when I was knocked to my side. Standing tall above me was an earth pony buck, who must have snuck around me during the commotion.

As I took aim, he knocked conversationalist away, then pinned me and started to strangle me with both his hooves. I struggled for breath as I repeatedly hit him across the face...it wasn't effective at all. He began to use his full weight on me; with less air in my lungs, my struggle began to lessen.

Just when all hope was lost, out of nowhere, Yellow jumped onto his back and wrapped her forelegs around his neck. The guard got off me as he fought for his own air, and tried to get the mare off of him. He swung left to right in an attempt to shake her off, yet Yellow refused to let go, not even when he started slamming his back against a wall. Finally, the earth pony reared up, then fell on his back, out cold from lack of oxygen. The mare then let go and squirmed her way out from under him.

Now being able to breath properly, I got back on my hooves, rubbed my neck, picked up Conversationalist, then nodded to my savior. "Thanks...I owe you one."

* * *

Night had fallen as I emerged from the subway with the mares in tow. It didn't take long for the townsfolk to notice and start flocking around us. Some of the mares ran into the embrace of their families and loved ones, weeping tears of joy from their reunion.

Sheriff Bronze Star even showed up. "What in tarnation is going on here?"

It was then and there that I explained everything to him. Citrus, his daughter, the plan with the slavers, Skeeter and the other corrupted security members. He seemed more upset about the last one. He felt like he could have prevented this if he had a better judge of character. He also asked why I didn't come to him when I suspected security members. I explained that at the time, I wasn't sure who was involved, and for all I knew, he could have been involved as well.

An hour later, Tangerine, Yellow, and myself were in the security building.

"Well, we got Skeeter locked up now." Said Boresight. "Let that piece of brahmin shit rot."

Yellow crossed her forelegs together and nodded. "Good, let's see how he likes being in a cage."

Boresight nodded in agreement "All the other mares returned home, so why are you three still hanging around here?"

"Well," I spoke, "I'm waiting for stallions who brought me here to finish resting up so I can take Ms. Tangerine here to her father." I then pointed a hoof at Yellow. "As for you...Yellow...was it? Why are you still here?"

Yellow blinked. "Yeah, it's Yellow, Yellow Jacket. I'm here because...well, I have no where to go."

Ah... The Stable barding, her earlier talks about 'being new to the wasteland'. You'd sometimes hear about stables having a preset time to open and release its inhabitants.

"If your Stable just opened." I asked. "Why didn't you stay with the other Stable ponies?"

Yellow Jacket's eyes skimmed around as she rubbed a hoof on her shoulder. "W-where I'm from, it was a boring place. This wasteland seemed more exciting..."

"That and you were Stable 73's janitor." I said as I pointed at a patch on her Stable barding that said 'Custodian'.

"T-that too..." Yellow Jacket slowly nodded her head. "So I was thinking, P.I., you seem like a buck who can handle himself out here, and you seem nice enough..." She was starting to look as if she were embarrassed to continue. "I was wondering if I could maybe...travel...with you?"

I was not expecting this. This Stable mare wanted to travel. With. Me. Well, I only had one answer for this. "Yellow Jacket." I said.

She looked at me with a smile and wide hopeful eyes. "Yes?"

"That's a bad idea..." I said that with a smirk while slowly shaking my head.

She looked oh so disappointed...for like two seconds, then her expression made a complete 180 and became an angry one. "Why not!? We made a good team down there! And you did say that you owed me one!"

Tangerine interjected with a sing song tone in her voice. "That is true, I did see, and hear you say that..."

Ignoring Tangerine, I tried to reason with Yellow Jacket. "Listen, kid, I--"

"Don't call me 'kid'! We're like the same age!"

I scoffed. "Really? And how old are you even?" I had a strange sense of deja vu...

"Twenty-one! How old are you!?"

Crap...

She stared at me, her hoof tapping the floor impatiently. Giving in, I responded with gritted teeth. "Tenti..."

She put a hoof behind her ear. "What was that? Speak up!"

"Twenty! I'm Twenty!" I could have lied, but I knew I could convince her by telling her the reasons why traveling with me was a bad idea. "But that doesn't matter!" It would have mattered to help my argument if I was older... "Age difference aside, my line of work often has me going to dangerous places; I sometimes even get shot at! Besides, I live somewhere where I don't think you'll even be allowed in," I gestured to her with a hoof, "and you don't look like you're swimming in caps!"

She was silent for a moment, she seemed as if she were trying to think of a counter argument. "Maybe if--"

"HELP! SOMEPONY HELP!" Someone was yelling from down the hall. All of us got up and ran to the source of the voice.

It was coming from outside the jail cells where one of the guards was still yelling. I approached the pony who was shouting. "What's going on!?" I questioned.

He lifted a hoof and pointed to the cell room. "It's Skeeter! Something is wrong with him!"

Running inside the cell room, I spotted Skeeter lying on the floor of his cell; he was convulsing and foaming from the mouth. As soon as the guard unlocked his cell, I ran inside and held his head up. I then noticed something sticking out from the side of his neck, it was some sort of dart...

Yanking it from his neck, I shook him to keep him conscience. "Skeeter! Who did this to you!?"

He stared at me with strained red eyes and managed to mutter something through all that foam before dying. "S-Stage...Hand..."

I closed his eyes and gently laid him back down...he may have been scum, but he was already going to pay for that.

Stage Hand? The hell did that mean?

* * *

On the way back, I was as silent as the same two stallions from before, pulling the cart; they couldn't have been happy about the extra weight... As Tenpony tower was nearing, Tangerine and Yellow Jacket were chatting like school fillies the whole trip. It was clear that the two became fast friends during their short confinement.

Standing outside the tower's entrance was Ol' Citrus. The second he and his daughter saw each other, they bolted towards one another, then collided into a frenzy of hugs, kisses, and tears. Even I could admit that it was a welcomed sight.

"Tangerine...." Citrus said as he stroked his daughter's mane. "My little filly...you're alright..."

"Daddy!" Tangerine cried into her father's chest. "I thought I would never see you again!"

They stayed in the other's embrace until Tangerine broke off, then pointed to Yellow. "Daddy, I'd like you to meet Yellow Jacket; she helped save my life."

Yellow Jacket shyly waved to him. "Heh heh...hello...sir..."

Citrus smiled. "You can drop the 'sir'. After saving my Tangerine, you're practically family!"

Yellow Jacket looked to the floor and smiled, trying to hid a blush. "I-it was nothing."

I coughed loudly, getting Citrus's attention. "Seems that I've brought your daughter here safe and sound, as was the agreement..."

Citrus focused on me for a bit. "Oh, forgive my manners. I'll send somepony to you with the rest of your payment."

"Excellent." I tilted my hat to him. "Don't forget to spread the word; I could use the business."

I looked to Tangerine and Yellow Jacket, silently nodding my goodbye to them. Funny, Jacket thought she would be able to convince me on the trip here. Good luck doing that from outside the tower.

As I headed to the Towers entrance, I could still hear Citrus talking with Yellow Jacket. "Now, if there is anything I can do to repay you, just name it."

Yellow Jacket was silent, possibly thinking of something, then spoke. "Well...there is one thing." The doors closed behind me before I heard what it was.

Back in my office after a hard day, I threw myself onto the couch and napped. An hour later, I was awoken to the sound of knocking.

Another client? So soon?

Opening the door, I bore witness to an unwelcome sight.

"HEEEEY! PAAARTNER!"

Yellow Jacket was the other side with a big smile, then wrapped her forelegs around my neck and hugged me.

In utter bafflement, I stared at empty space in front of me.

...What?

* * *

Footnote : Level Up

New Perk Added – The Nose Knows: When encountering a specific smell, you have a 10% chance to cross examine the scent to memory and see if it is case related. Who knows, sometimes a smell can be important when solving a mystery.

Chapter 3: Playing with Fire

The two ponies quickly ran down a metal and concrete hallway. They were starting to lose their stamina as they fled for their lives. Behind them, a feral scream, and the crackling sound of flame and ember pursued them.

Halfway to the bulkhead door, one of them tripped from a twisted leg. The other stopped and looked back.

"Help me!" Yelled the fallen one.

The one still standing made a step to their friend, but froze when they saw their pursuer. The pony then made a choice and ran to the bulkhead instead, ignoring the other's plea.

"No! Come back! Please!"

The fleeing pony made it behind the bulkhead door and locked it. Immediately, that pony then sat and leaned against the door, crying while rocking back and forth as it covered its ears and tried to shut out the noise of the other pony's muffled screams.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'M SO SORRY!"

Fallout Equestria: Private I.

Chapter 3: Playing with Fire

"I don't know what it is, but, I just don't have the stuff today. Did you bring a match?"

* * *

"Nuh-uh, no way." I managed to free myself from Yellow Jacket's vice like hug. "How did you even get in here?"

She rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof and made a low chuckle. "Heh heh...Citrus."

"Wait." I stared at the amber Stable mare, baffled. "So you had him pay the entrance fee with your one favor?"

"What? No." She shook her head a bit, then nearly whispered. "He got me a citizenship here..."

Oh no... I was beginning to wish that I misheard her.

"What was that?" I made a dry laugh. "Kinda sounded like you said, that he made you...a citizen here..."

She scratched her cheek and nodded. "He...he did."

I was silent for a moment before forcing the word out. "How?"

"I just asked if he could get me into the tower, then he had me wait outside for a bit while he talked to somepony inside. Nearly half an hour later, he shows up again with some fancy looking stallion and tells me that I'm a citizen now. A bit of wandering and asking around later, I found your office." She then walked past me, into said office without my permission. "Whoa, kinda small if you ask me."

I flipped a couple tables in my mind. This mare was persistent! Just when I thought I finally shook her, she managed to somehow worm her way back in my life! And what was that she said earlier, 'partner?'

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down there. What was all that 'partner' stuff about?"

She then jumped onto my sofa and laid flat on it. "Just what the word means; I'm your new partner." She said with a big grin.

"Partner?" I then started a humorless laugh."Ha ha ha--no."

She turned her head sideways towards me. "Oh come on, you said it yourself. You sometimes go to places all over the wasteland, well that's what I want. A chance to explore it and have an adventure or two, besides." Shifting to her side, she placed her elbow on the sofa then rested her head on her hoof. "Ya might need me to save your flanks again...that and you owe me one, remember?"

Oh there was no way I was standing for this.

"Wait here!" I demanded, then left her in my office as I headed to the elevator.

Now on the floor I wanted, I exited the lift and stormed down the hallway. This floor was where most of the ponies in charge of Tenpony kept their own offices; each one was tiers nicer and fancier than my own. Reaching my destination, I knocked on the door loudly and waited for a reply.

A voice came from the other side of the door. "Somehow I knew you would be visiting me."

I then heard the click of the door unlocking before it opened. Walking in, I saw the same room I saw months ago. It was a large office big enough to be mine's mother, with a much nicer coat of paint and more windows, the ceiling was much higher here and could have taken the space of a couple floors. Mounted on the walls were all sorts of pre-war paintings showing a plethora of images like scenic landscapes, detailed portraits, and the occasional abstract painting that I just didn't get. At the other end was a fireplace built into the wall, in front of that was a wooden desk large enough to be mine's father. Behind the desk sat a dark blue coated unicorn stallion with a golden mane and tail; on his flanks were the images of a golden ribbon with scissors in the middle of cutting it. He was wearing a white vest with some sort of fancy red puffy handkerchief...thing around his neck.

I walked over the carpet leading from the door to the desk, yelling at him as I made the long distance. "Dammit, Ribbon Cutter!"

He smirked as he spoke in a casual tone. "Hello again, P.I., always a pleasu--"

"Can it!" I pointed a hoof at him accusingly. "The hell was that!? I remember all that beef you got for giving me my residency months ago! So why risk it again!?"

He stared at me with a straight face, then reclined in his chair and put his hooves together. "And here I thought we might have a pleasant conversation."

I eyed him and made a disgruntled...well...grunt.

"Just hear me out." Ribbon Cutter said. "Ol' Citrus is one of the few outside sources of food Tenpony trades with, so his word is well known here, and he asked me if I could get the girl residency. He paid all her fees and made a," he chuckled into his hoof, "'reasonable' donation to the tower. So far, the others have nothing to complain about."

Dammit...

"But where would she live?" I asked. "She may be a citizen here now, but she doesn't exactly have the caps for her own place."

A smile spread across his lips as he brought his hooves to his chin, while I had a feeling like I just nailed my own coffin.

"I'm glad you brought that up. Citrus told me that she came here with you, so it only stands to reason that she...heh...'bunk' with you, as they say."

My head tilted in disbelief. "...What?"

"Well, we wouldn't have her sleeping in the hallways would we?" Ribbon Cutter said with a shrug. "So, as far as the tower is concerned, she is your responsibility." He grinned that...grin at me.

I was ready to yell my counter argument at him when the door behind him to the side opened and a filly's head stuck out.

"Father, is something goin--" Her eyes went wide and a smile appeared over her face when she saw me. "P.I.!"

I quickly calmed myself and smiled back. "Hey, Taffeta."

Taffeta. She was Ribbon Cutter's daughter, and the same filly I saved months ago back in Friendship City. She was a small unicorn with a red coat that was bordering on pink; her mane was the same color as her father's, and she hadn't gotten her cutie mark yet.

The little filly ran to me and hugged my foreleg. "I heard you just got back! Did you solve another mystery? Huh, huh? I'd love to hear it!"

I patted her head. "That's right. I'm sorry, Taffeta, but I'm in the middl--"

Ribbon Cutter...well...cut me off. "Mr. P.I. was just about to leave, sweetie. Maybe next time."

"Aww." The filly looked disappointed.

Looking up from her, and facing her father, I could see that calculated smile of his; now I had a strong suspicion that he purposely brought his daughter here just to prevent me from arguing in front of her...

"That's...that's right, Taffeta." I said, ruffling her mane. "Some other time..."

She looked at me with a revived excitement in her eyes. "Ok! I can't wait! I do love your stories!"

Walking all the way back to the door, I turned and saw them both waving before I closed the door behind me in defeat.

* * *

Returning to my office, I spotted Yellow Jacket sitting in my chair with her rear legs on my desk and one of my books in her hooves.

"P.I., I wouldn't have guessed you where the reading type." She said as she turned a page with her hoof.

I spoke with a slightly irritated tone in my voice. "Please put that back."

She slapped the book shut. "Fine, fine. Just saying. I saw you had some Daring Do books, but back home, everyone read those. They were practically textbooks to us." She then walked over to my bookcase that had two rows full of books. One row was for Daring Do books, the other was for a different series that Yellow Jacket was returning the one to. "You know, I've never heard of this...," she half-shut her eyes to better read the book's faded title, "'Detective Pretext' series before."

Well since she seemed so interested, I felt the need to tell her.

"They were a series written by A.K. Yearling during the war. They were highly praised, but weren't as popular as Daring Do. Shame too, I really like his work with that series."

Yellow shrugged. "Meh, I heard Yearling was a chick..."

I cocked my head. "What? No. Well, I mean...no pony really knew..." It was here that I realized I was getting distracted from the task at hoof. "Never mind that. Listen, you're not staying with me, so tell me where your other Stable ponies are so I can just take you home."

She looked at me quizzically, then grinned. "Ha! Heck if I know! I was wandering around for who knows how long before I stumbled into Woodtrot!"

I thought she might come up with this excuse, so I came up with the answer on my way here.

"Alright..." I gestured for her to come closer. "Show me your PipBuck."

She just looked at me with a confused looking expression. "My what?"

"Your PipBuck. You know, that thing locked around your..." Really looking at her forelegs for the first time, I noticed that she didn't have one. Her Stable-Tec custodian suit may have been a bit baggy for her, but I doubted she could have fitted a sleeve around a bulky PipBuck. "Where's your PipBuck?"

She still looked at me like she didn't understand what I was saying. I then tapped mine with my hoof. "This! You should have one! Where is it?"

She blinked at me, and I swear, I think I saw the dots connect in her head.

"Ooh. Yeah, PipBucks..." She scratch the back of her head. "Some of us didn't get one."

I facehoofed; you would also hear about the strange social experiments Stable-Tec would do to Stable ponies. Stable 73's was probably one where you'd only give some ponies PipBucks, then watch the jealousy fueled carnage... or something like that, I don't know.

"Dammit!" I exclaimed as I covered my face with my hooves.

"What?" The amber mare asked.

"I was hoping that I would find where you came from by looking at your PipBucks mapping data." I ran my hooves down through my face as I said the rest of my sentence. "But you just had to not have one, didn't you?"

"Well sorry." She sarcastically replied.

That's it, I give up! The universe just keeps yanking solutions to my problem from me.

"Fine! Fine! You can stay!" I shouted. Oh how I wished I were the kind of pony who could kick a mare out into the streets...or hallways in this case.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Cried Yellow Jacket in revelry as got on her hind-legs and used her forelegs to punch the air above her with every word.

"I wouldn't get too excited if I were you."

She stopped in mid celebration, looked at me, then tilted her head sideways. "Why not?"

I smirked. "Because there are going to be some rules..."

While I smiled, she frowned.

* * *

"Is this better?" Yellow Jacket asked as she finished dusting the bookcase using an old feather duster I had in the office.

"Mhmm, I think you missed a spot over there." I said as I waved at the general direction of the bookcase. I wasn't even looking at her progress, as I was too busy re-reading one of my books. Ah, Detective Pretext and the Museum Case of the Missing Sapphire Stone, one of my favorites, and one I consider a classic...

"Hey! You're not even looking!"

Uhp, caught... One of the rules I enforced was that Yellow Jacket was to do whatever I said, and right now, that was dusting the office. I would always be away when on a case, so I never had any time to really clean the place, and just like my outfit, my working space had to look professional as well.

"Ugh!" Yellow threw the duster on the floor. "This is boring! When do we go on an adventure?"

I turned the page of my book. "First of all, I don't go on 'adventures'; I'm not some wasteland hero, I'm hired to go on 'cases'. Second of all, you're gonna have to wait for a client to come to us."

"Fine." She responded with a roll of her eyes. "And when will that be?"

I shrugged and lazily replied. "I-dun-know, could be days, could be weeks."

"What!" Her jaw dropped. "Well, what do you do in the meantime?!"

"I suggest reading that Wasteland Survivors Guide I gave you. Celestia forbid, you might learn someth--" A knock at the door drew my attention away from my book. "Or it could be any minute..." As Yellow and I looked at each other, I raised one of my eyebrows. "Ya mind getting that?"

With a roll of her eyes, she saluted me, then walked to the door and opened it.

On the other side was a small framed, steel gray, unicorn mare with an electric blue mane who wore a light blue dress that covered her cutie mark.

"Hey, P.I., I've got some work for--whoa." The gray mare had a surprised expression when she saw that it wasn't me who opened the door. Leaning around Yellow, she saw me behind my desk. "Sorry, didn't realize you were already with a client. I'll come back later."

Before she turned to walk away, I yelled, "Homage, wait! She's not a client!"

Homage. She was also one of the few tower residents I tolerated, right up there with Chesterfield. ...Ok, maybe a bit higher than Chester... With Homage, it went a bit more than tolerating... In the few months I've known her, I kinda grew to like her, though I was too much of a coward to tell her. Plus I had no idea if she ever thought of me like that, and I feared that if I asked, I would end up scaring her away by being too forward; that and I have little to no experience with mares when it came to 'relationships'.

I shook my head. No! No more thoughts about that right now! As much as I would have liked this to be a social call from her, I knew better, after all, I did hear her say that she had work for me.

I gestured for Homage to enter. "P-please, come in."

Yellow stepped aside and allowed Homage in. Once inside, Homage turned to Yellow Jacket and offered up a hoof to her. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Homage, and you are...?"

Yellow took Homage's hoof with her own, then shook it. "Yellow Jacket. I'm P.I.'s new part--"

"ASSISTANT!" I blurted. "She's my new assistant..." Both of them turned their heads towards me, Yellow Jacket mouthed 'really?' to me.

With a smile on her muzzle, Homage nudged Yellow Jacket on the shoulder. "Hey, that's something we both have in common."

"Really?" Yellow said. "Who do you work for?"

"I work for..." She turned to me and smiled. Oh, is it getting warm in here? Maybe I should open a window. "Why don't we just show her. P.I., I see you have a PipBuck now, looks nice on you. Turn on the radio, he should be airing right about now."

Obeying Homage and mentally jumping of the walls. She said it looked nice on me! I turned on the radio and turned up the volume so we all could hear.

"--nd now for some news! Just recently, the settlement of Woodtrot had a problem where over a dozen of the town's mares just vanished, and no pony was able to figure out why... That is until a private investigator ventured into the town and found them! Turns out, a couple bad apples in the town's security force thought they could make a couple caps by kidnapping these mares and trading them to slavers. But thanks to the efforts of one heroic pony, those mares are home safe and sound. All I gotta say is, good work, Detective!

"Him, that's who I work for." Homage said as she pointed to my PipBuck.

Yellow stared at it as well. "Was that guy talking about you, P.I.?"

Trying to hide my blush, I looked to Homage. "Did he really have to make me sound like some hero? You know it was just a job to me."

"Heh, Sorry." Homage scratched her mane as she grinned. "DJ Pon3 often gets carried away a little bit. Besides, sometimes, the wasteland could really use a hero..."

"I liked it." Yellow added.

Homage smiled. "Glad to hear that somepony does, but if you don't feel comfortable with it, P.I., I can convince DJ Pon3 to tone it down some."

I nodded. "Thanks, please do. Don't want to give the impression that I'm some hero for hire. Now...about that job you mentioned. What do you got for me this time?"

"Wait?" Yellow Jacket muttered, then pointed to Homage. "What do you mean 'this time'? Is she a regular or something?"

Homage giggled. "I guess you could say that. To be more precise, I'm here on DJ Pon3's behalf."

Yellow cocked her head as she eyed Homage. "His behalf? Why doesn't this DJ show up here himself?"

Homage glanced at me and we both chuckled at Yellow Jacket's question. Homage then answered her. "Pon3 is sort of a recluse. The guy never leaves his studio, so he often has me doing errands for him. This is one of those instances. You see, he has his own sources for what goes on in the wasteland, but every now and then, he comes across something that seems newsworthy, but just doesn't have enough information about it. So for those occasions, the DJ hires P.I. here to see what he can dig up before he informs the wasteland over the air."

"Oh I see." Yellow Jacket said as she turned her head to me. "So you're like the DJ's umm... field reporter."

"Heh, something like that." I answered with a shrug. "So, Homage, what does he have for me this time?"

Homage walked over to the chair opposite of me, then sat down. "There's this place called Lakeside; an old army base now settlement."

"Why is it called Lakeside?" Yellow asked.

"Heh, probably because the place was built next to a lake." Answered Homage with a shrug. "But I wouldn't go swimming in it if I were you, only ghouls would find it pleasant."

"So why go there?" I asked.

The gray mare responded. "'Cause something is going on there, I--Pon3 heard reports about ponies dying one after another in there."

"And that's strange?" I said as I raised an eyebrow. "This is the wasteland; ponies die every day."

"True. But Lakeside has much better defenses than Woodtrot ever did. The place would never allow a raider or slaver even near it. Plus, all of the dead ponies were found the same way."

Interested, I leaned over my desk, maintaining eye contact with Homage. "And that is?"

"Get this because this is where it gets interesting...they were all burned to a crisp. Lakeside might have itself a serial killer slash arsonist."

I reclined back into my chair. "Maybe it's just a couple of disgruntled settlers with flamethrowers or enchanted weapons taking their rage out on each other?"

"Ha! Not a chance!" Homage quipped. "Only the ponies in charge of defending the place are allowed things like those, the others have to settle for plain, unaltered, small caliber weapons."

I folded my forelegs. "Unicorn magic?"

Homage was quick to turn down my theory. "Doubt it; flame magic isn't something easily learned, and Lakeside doesn't have that many unicorns. Besides...the ponies who got cooked were all unicorns..."

"Hmm." I put a hoof to my chin. As I put some more thought into this, Homage continued.

"Pon3 wants you to go there, investigate, and possibly assist in catching whoever is doing this."

"I don't know..." I scratched my mane. "Wouldn't Lakeside's security be able to find the killer?"

Homage shook her head. "Those ponies may have the guns, but they don't have the same investigation skills you have. Also... consider it a personal favor...from me."

The second she finished that sentence, I slapped my desk with a hoof.

"I'll do it!"

* * *

The elevator hummed around Yellow Jacket and I, as it carried us to the shopping floor of the tower.

"What was all that?" Yellow jacket asked.

"What do you mean?" I responded. "You wanted an 'adventure', now we got one."

"Not that. You looked really nervous talking to Homage."

"What? No I didn't." My eyes unconsciously shifted left to right. Crap, she noticed back there!

A smile spread across her muzzle "P.I.," she then nudged my shoulder with hers, "if I didn't know better, I'd say that you like her."

"W-what? T-that's ridiculous I--" I watched as her smile grew bigger and bigger the more I denied it. I then sighed. "Is it that obvious?"

She softly punched my shoulder. "Oh yeah. I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you though."

I scoffed. "And why's that?"

Looking at the back of her hoof, she responded. "She's into mares."

"And how would you know?"

"Hey," she leaned against the elevator's wall, "back where I'm from, the place was filled with its fair share of fillyfoolers. A lifetime of living there, and you get a sixth sense for who is and who isn't... That and she kept eyeing me."

I simply rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Which one of us is the detective here?"

She shrugged. "Just saying."

The elevator stopped, then opened its doors with a ding as it arrived at the shopping floor. Yellow Jacket followed me as we made our way to Chesterfield's shop. Entering his shop, the bell above the door chimed as we entered, followed by Chesterfield's voice from the backroom.

"Here for a couch? Oh...hey, P.I., back so soo--" His voice took a different tune when he noticed Yellow. "Well heeelllooo, why has a fine mare such as yourself come to grace my humble store with your presence?" He then put his elbows on the counter, his head on his hooves, and rose his eyebrows to Yellow Jacket multiple times.

Yellow Jacket returned his gaze with an awkward smile and wave. "Umm...hi?"

"Ya done flirting there?" I said to Chesterfield. "Because we're going to need some things."

"P.I.," Chester said, still staring at Yellow, "who is this voluptuous mare with you?"

I chuckled a bit, then put a hoof on Yellow's shoulder. "This is Yellow Jacket; she's my new assistant."

I swear, I felt her twitch when I said 'assistant'.

Chester looked at me and tilted his head to the side. "You got enough caps to hire an assistant now?"

I scratched my cheek. "Not really...she's more of a...'mandatory' assistant."

"Hmph, lucky stallion you." I could see a hint of jealousy in his eyes. "So, what can I do you for?"

Well, at least he stopped the whole lovey dovey eyes to Yellow for the moment.

"Just got another job, gonna need a refill on supplies; also, a weapon and protective barding for Yellow."

Chesterfield seemed upset about that last part. "You're sending this gorgeous flower into a gunfight!?"

"Hey!" Yelled Yellow Jacket. "I'll have you know I'm not some pushover!"

I grinned to Chesterfield. "Yeeeah, she's kinda the one who insisted on tagging along with me."

"I see." Chesterfield then looked towards Yellow and bowed his head a bit. "I apologize if I gave you that impression. You're more than welcome to try on any of the barding on the mannequins to see which is to your liking."

Yellow walked around and inspected each of the mannequins. A minute later she yelled across the store. "Umm, you don't have anything that covers the whole body? I don't want to get shot in my flanks."

"Sorry." Chesterfield replied. "What's on display is what I have."

"Oh... On second thought, maybe I don't need barding."

I glared at Yellow from across the shop. "You're going out into the wasteland...with no barding?"

She pawed at her Stable suit. "Well this does have sentimental value, I'd hate to get rid of it."

"Sentimental value?" I said as I looked at her with an abashed expression. "But it doesn't even fit you properly."

She shrugged. "Hand-me-down."

What, does she come from a long line of janitors?

"If you just didn't want to get rid of it, you should have said something." I turned to Chesterfield. "Got anything she can at least put over that suit?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I still have some of that material I used to make your vest. Give me a minute and I'll see what I can do."

Ten minutes later he emerged from the back room with something held in his magic that resembled the more traditional looking bulletproof vest of old. He opened the straps, which causing a tearing sound, then placed the vest on Yellow, over her suit. The words 'Custodian' were unfortunately still visible.

Great, I can already hear DJ Pon3's newest broadcast.

"This just in! The Detective and The Custodian did stuff today! More news at eleven!"

"Hmm." Chester looked at the vest with a perplexed expression. "Seems a bit tighter than I'd thought it'd be. I could re-size it if you want me to."

"No," she replied as she shifted her shoulders a bit, "it's fine."

"Now you just need a weapon." I added.

"I've got a wide selection here." Chesterfield said as he gestured to the weapon rack behind him. "Tell me if anything catches your eye."

Yellow Jacket quickly skimmed her eyes along the rack, scratching her mane as she made the occasional 'oohs' and 'umms'. "Uh...do you got anything small and easy to use? I've never used a gun before."

Nodding, Chester pulled something off the rack with his magic, then presented it to Yellow. "This here is a nine millimeter pistol. It doesn't have much heft, little recoil, and can be easily maintained."

Yellow examined it for a while, then nodded. "I'll take it."

Chester nodded. "Delighted to hear that. I'll find you a holster for it. "

"So..." I said. "How much will this all be?"

Chester chuckled. "I'm just charging you for the refill." He turned to Yellow. "Consider the gun and vest a gift."

"Umm, thanks..." Yellow responded.

"Chester..." I tilted my head. "You never gave me any freebies..."

The shop pony grinned. "Ha! That's because you lack the feminine aura that Yellow Jacket possesses!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah...that's it..." I pulled out a bag of caps which I then dropped onto the counter.

Chester slid it over to himself. "I'll have your things sent to the front immediately."

Nodding, I then exited the store with Yellow Jacket. On the way to the elevator, around one of the hallway corners, I spotted the last two ponies I wanted to see right now. Thankfully, they didn't see me yet, but were heading in my direction. What the heck were they still doing here in the tower?!

I began a quicker pace to the elevator. Confused for my sudden increase in speed, Yellow kept up with me. "Whoa there speedy, what's the rush?"

Now at the closed elevator doors, I kept tapping the 'call lift' button non-stop. "J-just excited to get right on this case." Finally, the lift's doors opened with a ding. I practically pulled Yellow Jacket in the elevator with me, then started mashing the button inside the lift.

Please go, please go, please go!

Crap, the two ponies I was trying to avoid where now in the hallway me and Yellow were just at.

They were both mares twice my age who I've known for a very long time. One a unicorn, the other an earth pony. The earth pony's name was Chert; she was light blue with a silver gray mane and tail, and whose cutie mark was of a chunk of rock with some kind of shell fossil in it. Reticle was the unicorn whose coat was a shade of yellow that was bordering on white, her mane and tail were a dark-ish red color, and on her flanks were the images of a rifle scope.

While Chert was looking down another hallway, Reticle noticed me, then tapped Chert on the shoulder and pointed to the elevator. But before they started making their way to me, the elevator's doors closed.

Oh thank Celestia...

I leaned against the side and tried to control my breathing, as I must have been hyperventilating during all that.

"You ok, P.I.?" Yellow asked.

In between breaths, I answered her. "Y-yeah...I'm fine..."

Once we passed the security checkpoint and received our supplies, we walked through the armored doors and officially exited Tenpony Tower.

"Hey?" Yellow said. "Where's our ride?"

I turned to Yellow and noticed that she was looking around the Celestia line. "Our ride?" I asked, confused as to what she means.

"Yeah, those bucks with the cart."

I burst into laughter while Yellow just stood there and waited for me to finish. "That was a one time thing; those bucks were hired by Citrus, not me. No, we walk."

She gawked at me. "We have to walk to Lakeside? Do you even know where it is?"

"Relax." I lifted up my PipBuck leg, showed it to her, then walked down the tracks. "Homage uploaded the coordinates."

As I walked further from her, I heard her kick a rock in frustration, then ran to catch up with me.

"Heh...welcome to the wasteland." I said with a half smile as we walked forward.

* * *

We walked for several miles once were out of Manehatten. We avoided well known raider encampments, heavily radioactive places, and other such dangers. We rarely spoke on our way to Lakeside, as Yellow just viewed the scenery which mostly consisted of bombed cities, debris riddled cracked roads, long broken chariots, charred homes, lifeless hills, and rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. At some point, she pointed to the big pink ball of gas that was on the side of a far off mountain. I told her that used to be Equestria's capital: Canterlot. Her ears drooped a bit when she heard my response, then replied with a simple "Oh...". Whenever we passed the scorched skeletal remains of ponies, Yellow would always carefully walk around them, trying her best not to disturb them from their eternal rest.

It wasn't until night fell that we decided to take shelter inside a small cave by the side of a hill. Inside, I began to work on starting a campfire while I sent Yellow to collect more wood from the dead trees outside. Half an hour later she returned with more than just wood, she was dragging the carcass of a rad-hog with countless sticks piercing its hide. I stared at her with my mouth hanging open as she just stood there, looking triumphant.

An hour later we sat near the fire, eating flame roasted hog.

"So." Yellow said with a mouthful of food. "We getting close to Lakeside?"

I took time to chew, then swallowed. "Not that far now, should get there in the morning."

"Good. I was getting tired of endlessly wa--" She became silent then quickly turned to the cave's entrance.

"What?" I asked. Then I heard the sound of music. It was some kind of polka...oh, I know what it is. "It's just a sprite-bot."

Sprite-bots. They were automated drones with a design that resembled a bulky metal parasprite. They were deployed by the Ministry of Morale (or M.O.M for short) to spread uplifting messages to the ponies of the pre-war world. Basically, they were floating radios that wandered the wastes, sometimes annoying travelers with either unwanted polka music, or if you were near Fillydelphia, some glorified speech about unity and sacrifice from the king of slavers, Red-Eye.

But before I had a chance to tell Yellow Jacket all that, she ran out of the cave.

"Dammit." I put down my meal and chased after her.

Once outside, I saw her scanning the treeline, then bolting to the source of the music.

"Hey!" I yelled. She didn't stop, so I followed.

She finally did stopped when she found the floating machine.

"Hey! You there?" Yellow said as she stepped in its way and tapped the side of its chassis with a hoof. The sprite-bot just kept trying to move around her, but Yellow wouldn't let it.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I approached her.

She started beating on the thing harder. "Dammit! I know you're there! Answer me!"

"Yellow!" I shouted. "The thing is just a robot! It's not going to answ--"

A metallic voice emanating from the sprite-bot proved me wrong. "Yellow Jacket, please stop hitting it."

"There you are." Yellow smiled, then slumped to her knees. "I was starting to get worried."

The voice responded. "I'm glad to see you're alright. I heard about Woodtrot."

"I'm fine, and if it wasn't for your advice, the situation would have been much much worse for me."

"Good to hear that you took my words to heart then, if anyone saw they wou--" As I stepped closer to Yellow, the sprite-bot turned slightly, then focused on me. "Yellow Jacket, who is that?"

"That's P.I.; he's the detective who saved me, and my new partner."

"Assistant." I corrected her.

"He saves you, then becomes your assistant?" The voice said.

I facehoofed; I could have worded that better. "No, she's my assistant... Anyway, who are you?"

The voice was silent for a moment. "Just call me Watcher." The robot turned back to Yellow. "Yellow Jacket...does he know?"

She lowered her eyes and muttered. "No..."

What followed was a metallic sigh. "Well, I can see that you followed at least three of the things I told you. You've got a weapon, made a friend," I shot darts at the back of Yellow's head, this was more like a...forced companionship, "and you...well...if you do decide to tell him." I looked at Yellow skeptically. Was there something going on here? Or was I just putting too much thought into this? "Just...just make sure he's a pony worthy of your trust."

Yellow nodded. "Ok...I-I'll think about that, Watcher."

"Good, well it was nice talking to you again, but I have to go now. You be careful out here." The sprite-bot turned to the other direction, then drifted away.

Yellow waved to the robot. "Thanks, Watcher! You too!"

Once the bot was out of sight, we returned to the cave. As we sat by the fire, I glanced at Yellow. "Is there uh...something going on here that I should know?"

"What?" She looked at me, then shook her head. "No."

I eyed Yellow for a good ten seconds before dropping my suspicions. "...Okie dokie loki." I don't even know why I said it like that...

* * *

Once morning came, we packed up and continued our way to Lakeside. Finally, after an hour of walking down the road, our destination was visible over the next hillside.

Ahead of us was just what Homage said. Lakeside was an old army base next to (who would have guessed?) a lake. The giant gate that served as the entrance to the town was made of solid concrete and had survived the bombs almost intact. A huge chain link fence with razor wire encircled the settlement in a square shape, at each corner stood watchtowers. Some were the original towers from back before the bombs, while others were poorly rebuilt out of planks of wood; even now they all had ponies armed with rifles, scanning the horizon for any trouble coming their way. Heck, if we were raiders, we would have been dead by now, and the last thing we would have seen would've been a flash from one of the towers. Inside the base were the original buildings and a whole lot of makeshift homes made from scrap metal and wood. Even from here, I could make out some sort of shiny monument in the center of the town.

Once we reached the gates, we were stopped by four armed guards; two at the bottom of the concrete gate, and two on top of it.

"Stay where you are while we search you for contraband." Said one of the guards.

The two guards approached us while the ones at the top kept their weapon sights on us. One of the guards searching us was a unicorn; as he waved his horn around me, I noticed it glowed brighter when it neared Conversationalist. After doing that to the both of us, the unicorn looked up to the ones up top, then shook his head. Their response was a nod before they put their guns away.

"Sorry about that." Said the unicorn guard. "We don't allow non-security ponies here anything bigger than a pistol."

"Why?" Asked Yellow.

"We are a well defended community, so there really isn't any need for the civies to be walking around with machine guns or rocket launchers. You can still own a weapon here, but it must be a pistol."

"I see..." I said with a nod. "Excuse me sir, my friend and I are very parched from our journey, could you direct us to the bar?"

"Wet your whistle eh?" The guard said with amusement. "It's next to the crystal tree in the center of town, can't miss it."

"Thank you." I then walked through the gate.

Yellow ran up to my side. "A bar? Why are we going to a bar? Shouldn't we start investigating?"

"Heh, that's cute...no. Right now we have nothing to go on, other than hearsay. We're going to need more information about the place first, and what better place to ask ponies questions than where ponies who are drunk off their asses hang out?"

Yellow stopped for a second. "Oh. Yeah I knew that."

Sure she did... now, the guard said that it was next to the crystal tree. Walking to the center of town, I could see that the the guard was indeed right; there was no way I would have missed it. Right in the center of the plaza was a blue-ish tree made of crystal that about two stories tall, the leaves were of a lighter blue and partially transparent, while at the end of many of its branches were small multi-color orbs. Beneath the tree was a little chest high fence to keep ponies from...knocking into it...I guess, while several yards away were buildings encircling the tree; one of them the bar.

Entering said bar we surprisingly spotted no drunk ponies, but instead the sober bar-pony manning the bar. Yellow and I took a seat by the counter as I waved to get his attention. The barkeep approached us and spoke in a strange accent. "What will it be lad and ladette?"

My reply was, "Two sparkle colas, please."

Five seconds later, the barkeep slid over two colas and a bowl full of what looked like small shiny spheres, each a different color.

I pointed a hoof to the bowl. "Umm, I didn't order...whatever these are."

The barkeep smiled. "Try one, they're complementary."

Well if it's free... I picked one up with my hoof and popped it in my mouth. There was a slight crunch followed by a gush of sweet tangy juice. "It's not bad. What is it?"

The barkeep answered me. "Good aren't they? They're crystal berries, grown from the crystal tree outside."

"Wait." Yellow said as she finished chewing hers. "Berries grown from a crystal tree?"

"Aye," the bar-pony said with a smile and a nod, "they grow from this tree. It's a gift from the Crystal Empire."

I spoke after I swallowed my second berry. "The Crystal Empire? They're still around?"

He nodded. "Aye, why? Have you never heard of what became of it?"

I slowly shook my head. "No, not really. I'm not much of a historian, so I just assumed they were just like the wastes."

He chuckled. "Well you'd be wrong. Would you like if I gave you the rundown?"

"Please do." I took a sip of my sparkle cola as I listened to the barkeep. Ah, cold.

What he told me went something like this.

During the war, the Crystal Empire tried to stay out of Equestria's war. They would only provide aid to Equestria and never fought with the zebras directly. This went well for a while until the Crystal Empire's second hosting of the Equestria Games, where a zebra terrorist attack caused a panic in the empire. In their fear, a majority of the empire's populace demanded that they declare themselves independent from the rest of Equestria. The Crystal Princess having no choice, obeyed the wishes of her people and did so. For she knew that her people just recovered from their thousand year curse, and the last thing they needed was to be involved in a war that they wanted no part of. This decision ended up saving the empire; for when the bombs fell, the Crystal Empire wasn't hit.

"Why would they give this place a tree?" I questioned.

"We're not the only settlement that got one. About a week ago the empire gave them to a few towns as a show of good will to the ponies of the wasteland. The trees need little water and can grow in the poorest quality of soil, they also provide the berries which grow all season, and are full of all kinds of vitamins. And all they asked for in return, was that we spread the word around about the empire; possibly to inform ponies like you that they're still around."

"Well," I said as I turned to Yellow, and saw that she wasn't even paying attention, as she was too preoccupied with the rest of the berries in the bowl, "at least one of us heard about them."

"Huh?" Yellow muttered around a mouthful of the fruit.

"Say, barkeep." I turned to him. "We've heard some rumors about some murders here. Is there any truth to that?"

The barkeeper lowed his eyes and sighed. "I'm afraid that's true, but you shouldn't worry. Whoever is doing this is only targeting unicorns. So you two should be safe."

"Do you know when the killings started?" I asked.

He rubbed his chin. "Hmm, The first murder was five days ago. It happened under Lakeside, I think."

"Under Lakeside?" I said, a bit astonished. "Is there a subway down here?"

The barkeep chuckled as he shook his head. "No no, the base used to have underground facilities. Now we just use it as storage and a place for the eggheads to do their research."

"Research? What kind of research?" I took a sip of my cola.

"Full of questions, aren't you?" He grinned. "Aye, you see the base had its own water purification system in place. It's a machine that siphons water from the lake and makes it drinkable; not on a grand scale I mind you, but enough for the town to get by."

"And what does this have to do with research?" I inquired.

"Patience boy, patience. I'm getting to it. You see, the machine was found when we settled here, and it was surprisingly still in working order, but it was never designed to filter radiation, and I'll tell you, that lake is a cesspool for the stuff! The eggheads managed to alter the machine to cleanse some of the radiation, but not all. For quite a while they have been trying to figure out how to max it's cleansing output, that way the town could trade clean water to neighboring settlements."

"And have they had any success?"

He shrugged. "None that I know of."

"Hmm." I finished my cola, paid for the drinks, then turned to Yellow. "We should go now."

Yellow looked to me with disappointment in her eyes and berry stained cheeks. "Already? But...but berries..."

The bartender laughed. "You can take the rest with you."

Yellow beamed a smile as she quickly poured the rest of the berries into her saddlebags. Stepping out of the bar, I then made my way to the direction of the nearest building that I assumed was the security building.

"So what now?" Yellow asked as she walked alongside me.

"Now we go and ask the ponies here who might know more about the murders."

Yellow looked to me with concern in her eyes. "But what if they don't kno--"

"AAAAAAAH!"

The blood curdling scream of a stallion caused both Yellow and I to jump. After quickly regaining our composure, we ran to the source of the scream.

"Or we could see what all that's about!" I yelled as we ran past buildings until we spotted smoke coming from an alley.

Looking into it, we saw a unicorn stallion engulfed in fire, still screaming and writhing on the floor, trying desperately to put out the flames. Running up to him, I pulled off my duster coat and started slapping it against him in an attempt to smother the fire. With Yellow's help, we finally managed to put him out, however, the damage was done. He was left with severe third degree burns; what was left of his coat and mane were charred black and flaking off. With his eyes closed, he faced the side of a building as he violently shook, clinging to life.

Yellow Jacket pulled out a healing potion from her bags, uncorked it, then tried to bring it to the stallion's lips.

"T-that won't work." I muttered as she still tried to force it into his unopening mouth, only for the potion to trickle down his chin and onto the ground.

"Well why not!?" Yellow Jacket yelled as she turned to me with concern in her eyes. "You said these things can heal a pony!" She looked back to the stallion. "Come on! Just hurry up and drink it!"

I shoved Yellow aside and lowered next to the stallion, then started rummaging around my saddlebags.

"I said they can heal wounds! Not something extreme like broken bones or intense burns like this!" Finding what I needed at the bottom of my bag, I pulled out a syringe of Med-X, yanked the cap off the needle, then jammed it into the stallion's side and pushed the plunger. There was a sound of pressurized air releasing, as the syringe injected the drug into his system, easing the stallion's pain. "This is all we can do for him now." I looked down both sides of the alley and saw they were devoid of life, whoever did this was long gone. I then leaned into what was left of the stallion's ear and whispered. "Who did this to you?"

He struggled to open his cracked and bleeding lips; what followed was incomprehensible whimpers and mutterings, but I was able to pick up two words before he went silent. "S...specimen...se...seven."

Yellow's eyes shrank to the size of pinpricks as she stared at the stallion. "Is...is he?"

I sighed as I inspected him; he'd stopped shaking, and was no longer breathing. "Yeah, Yellow...he is..."

She looked to me with anger in her eyes. "We'll get the sick bastard who did this...right?"

I nodded as my expression was starting to match hers. "We'll try. Even if--"

"You there! Stay where you are!" Four armed guards suddenly emerged from the same street we came from; their rifles aimed at us as they slowly approached.

My eyes widened as I quickly looked to the dead stallion, then back to the guards.

"Umm...this isn't...what it looks like?" I said as Yellow and I slowly raised our forelegs.

* * *

"Well... you did want to go see Lakeside's security." Yellow said as she tried to get comfortable.

We both laid in bunk beds that were jutting out from the wall of the cell we were in. Yellow laid in the bunk above mine, while I was on the one under hers. We both had our saddlebags and weapons taken when we were brought here.

I peeked over the side to get a better look at Yellow above me. "Why do you get the top bunk?"

She looked under her cot, saw my scowl, then chuckled. "Called dibs."

I repositioned myself to get more comfortable on my back as I crossed my forelegs and glared at Yellow through the bottom of her bunk.

And she was supposed to be a year older than me...

I stayed like that until the sound of the cell door unlocking got my attention.

"Alright." Said a middle aged maroon earth pony stallion in guard barding, opening our cell. "You two are free to go."

Yellow hung her rear legs off her cot as she sat up. "What? Just like that?"

The earth pony nodded once. "Just like that."

I started to crawl out from my bunk. "Umm, not complaining or anything...but mind if I ask why?"

He looked at me for a moment before he spoke. "I know you two didn't kill that unicorn. I got word earlier about two ponies matching your descriptions, arriving into Lakeside just this morning. I can see that you two were just at the wrong place, at the wrong time."

I breathed a sigh of relief; I was actually worried that we were gonna hang for that buck's death. "Umm, now that we're free, mind if you point me to the pony in charge?"

The gruff pony gave me a stern glance. "Son, you're speaking to him."

My eyes widened and my head leaned back in surprise. "Oh! And you are?"

"Captain Barley." He said in a calm, authoritative voice. "Is there something more than giving me your gratitude for being released?"

"Well I'm glad you asked." I scratched the back of my head. "You see, we kinda came here because of the murders."

He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at me. "Excuse me?"

Oh crap. I could have worded that better. He probably assumes I have some weird death fetish or something now. I mean, how do you explain that I came here to do his job of catching the killer for him, without insulting the guy?

"Well, you see...umm...about the murders. I--"

"Oh for goodness sake!" Yellow Jacket interrupted, then pointed a hoof under her bunk to me. "He's that detective mentioned on the radio yesterday, and he's here to help you catch the killer!"

Answer to my question from earlier...like that.

He turned back to me and looked me top to bottom. "The one DJ Pon3 mentioned? The one from Woodtrot?"

Yes, yes! This was working. I just nodded quickly.

He seemed in thought for a moment. "Hmm, normally we would handle this on our own, but with so many deaths already..."

I leaned forward a bit. "So?"

He looked back to me and replied with an affirmative nod.

We then exited the cell, got our weapons and bags back, then made our way to an old conference room where we continued the conversation.

"So?" I said before sitting down on an old chair. "How many deaths so far?"

Captain Barley also sat, then sighed. "The one you two stumbled upon was the sixth."

"Oh..." It was here that I remembered one detail Homage told me. "Captain Barely, I've heard that all the victims were unicorns. Is this true?"

He nodded.

I continued. "Is there any connection as to why the killer would only target unicorns?"

He looked down and slowly shook his head. "I'm afraid this might be a jealous local. You see, we don't have that many unicorns here, and a majority of them work with the water purifier. It's safer operating the machine from a distance with magic, in order to avoid the radiation. It's because of this that the unicorns demanded they be paid more, stating that they have to work so close to a health hazard. It was either pay them more or let the town die of thirst, so I gave in to their demands."

Well that's as good a motive if any. "Any suspects?" I questioned.

"Heh, son, you saw what happened to that buck; only something like a flamethrower could do something like that, and so far, we don't allow anything like that in the town. If it were as easy as finding somepony with one, you wouldn't be here."

"True, but, what if somepony was able to build one inside the town?"

He quickly dismissed my theory. "Unlikely. The components for one are hard to come by, and if somepony somehow did manage to jury-rig one, it wouldn't be that effective. Besides, the unicorns in my guard do daily scans in the town. You were at the gates, you probably saw the detection spell."

"Hmm..." He had a point there. This place did run tight security and it would be nigh impossible to smuggle something as big as a flamethrower into the town, let alone build one and somehow manage to keep it hidden all this time.

My best bet was to start my own investigation, and what better place to start than the most recent. I turned to my companion and saw that she was reclined in her own chair, waiting for Captain Barely and I to finish our conversation.

I got up and gestured for yellow to do the same. "Let's go, Yellow."

She started to get to her feet. "Where we going?"

"Back to the alley. It was the most recent killing, so there still might be clues there."

"I'll go with you." Captain Barely also got up. "I know this town better than anyone."

"Alright." I got the feeling that even if I said no, he would have accompanied us anyway, but he did have a point. Having somepony who knows the town could be helpful.

* * *

Arriving back to the alley, I saw that a crowd had gathered behind the guards who were blocking the entrance, and somepony had covered the dead buck with a weather tarp. Once the guards saw Captain Barley, they moved aside and let him, Yellow, and I through. Now that I was back here under a less stressful situation, I was able to properly look for clues.

As I began looking around, Captain Barley approached me. "Do you think the killer doused this buck with some kind of accelerate, then lit a match or something to set the fire?"

I actually suspected this on the way here, but once I looked around the alley, I shook my head.

"No, if that was the scenario, there would be a pool of it somewhere, and that wouldn't have happened." I said before pointing at the wall near the body where there was a huge scorch mark with a stallion shaped gap. This indicated that something projected out a wide stream of fire at a high pressure; the fire was also hot enough to kill the buck within minutes. So far, this all pointed to a flame thrower being the murder weapon, but there had to be some other way...

My eyes widened as I rummaged around my saddlebags until I pulled out the same pillowcase still filled with gem powder from Woodtrot. I then uncovered the dead stallion's hoof from under the tarp, then proceeded to sprinkle the powder onto it. Three Canterlots later and...nothing. The hoof didn't glow, meaning that the fire wasn't caused by unicorn magic.

Just as I was getting stumped, Yellow called out. "Hey! What's this?"

I turned around and saw that she was standing next to a bunch of boxes gathered together and was pointing inside them. Now that I got closer to them, I could see that the boxes where somepony's feeble attempt of making a shelter. The boxes were also burned, and peering in to where Yellow was pointing, I could see four hoofprints. What was strange was that the hoofprints were burned into the cardboard. Did the killer drop whatever it was they used to kill the buck and momentarily set themselves on fire by accident?

A couple more minutes of searching turned up no further clues. Well if I can't find anything more from the latest killing, maybe I can figure something out from the earliest one.

"Captain Barley." I turned to the town's leader. "Can you take me to where the first killing happened?"

Without hesitation he responded. "Of course, follow me."

All three of us walked past the guards, once we made it through the crowd, a young unicorn colt squeezed through the mass of pony legs and ran up to us.

"Mister! Hey, mister!" The colt shouted.

I stopped when I noticed he was running in my direction, then pointed a hoof to my face. "Me?"

When he skidded to a halt in front of me, I saw he was light purple with a gray mane. In his magic he held a small change purse, which he opened, flipped upside down, and shook three caps from.

Confused, I stared at the caps, then back to the colt. "Umm?"

"Here." The colt said before he slid the caps closer to me.

I still wasn't following. "Uh, kid? What is this?"

"You're one right? A real life derec...deetek..." The colt was clearly having difficulty pronouncing the word.

"Detective?" Yellow Jacket suggested.

He pointed a hoof to me. "Yeah! That!"

"Um, yeah...yeah, I am." I replied before curiously looking down to the colt. "Why, are you looking for one?"

The colt rapidly nodded his head. "It's my mom, mister! She hasn't been home for days!" His eyes were starting to water. "Please take my caps and find her for me!"

I lowered myself to be at eye level with the colt. "What's your name?"

The colt answered me nervously. "M-Mulberry."

"Hey, Mulberry. I'm P.I." I said calmly with a smile. "What does your mom do?"

"She...she sometimes goes out of town and looks for things to sell."

Sounds like his mom is a scavenger. "And how long does she usually go out looking for things?"

Mulbery scanned the floor beneath him as he tried to recall. "She...sometimes takes two or three days."

I tilted my head a bit. "Maybe she's out there still looking for stuff?"

"Maybe, but," he stomped the floor once, "this feels different; she never took this long!" His face became one of worry as his gaze lowered to the ground. "And I heard about what happened to some of the ponies in town."

Oh no...I hope this doesn't mean what I think it's meaning.

"Uh, Mulberry? ...Is your mom a unicorn?"

As he once again looked me in the eyes, I could see confusion as to why I would ask that, then he shook his head. "No, mister. She isn't. She is a earth pony with a...blue-ish green fur and...and a brown mane!"

Phew...dodged a bullet there. His mom is probably just taking longer than usual. I got the feeling he wouldn't accept my answer, so I thought of the next best thing to ease his worry.

"Tell you what Mulberry. I'm on a very important case right now, but once I'm done, I'll find your mother lickity split."

His mouth formed into a smile as his eyes gleamed with hope. "You promise?"

Smiling, I picked up the three caps with a hoof and deliberately brought them closer to his sight as I put them in my saddlebags.

"I kinda have to now. You hired me."

* * *

Yellow and I were practically shoulder to shoulder as we walked down a narrow hallway that had steel walls, concrete flooring, and the occasional bulkhead door. Captain Barely had lead us into one of the base's original buildings; it had a set of stairs leading to the underground section of the base which we were now in.

"Don't open the doors with red paint." Barely said as he led us to the first killing. I did see that some of the bulkheads we past had a red 'X' painted somewhere on them.

"Why not?" Yellow asked.

Barley responded to her question. "Because the place was unmaintained for centuries when we first arrived here; water from the nearby lake seeped in and flooded some sections of the facility. We managed to save a majority of the place by closing off some hallways." He looked back to us. "Heed my warning though; less you get washed away with a surge of radioactive slush water."

While we followed Barley, my PipBuck started making clicking noises from being in proximity of one of the marked bulkheads. Yeah...I'd rather avoid an indoor swim only a ghoul would enjoy.

The hallway ended into a large room filled with all kinds of lab equipment; chemicals in jars, and equations written on papers were strewn around the place. Small and big machines alike all were either lined against a wall or scattered around the room on tables. I had no idea what any of their functions were, so I became cautious as to not accidentally break or activate something. My assistant on the other hoof was already reaching toward the big red button of one of the machines.

"Don't touch!" I yelled before lightly slapping her hoof way from it. "You could have activated the place's self-destruct or something!"

Yellow Jacket opened her mouth to yell back, but before she could, Captain Barley waltzed up to the machine and slammed the button. I watched in astonishment as instead of the place blowing up, the machine made a ding noise, then spat out a cup full of steaming dark liquid.

"Or," Barley said as he looked to the both of us, "she could have made a cup of Joe."

I nervously chucked as I re-adjusted my hat in an attempt to hide my embarrassment while Yellow Jacket just stuck out her tongue at me. I...I don't drink coffee...how was I supposed to know!?

"So, um." I coughed. "What is this room?"

Barley took a sip of the coffee before he spoke. "This here is one of the rooms the scientists use."

"What do they use it for?" Yellow asked.

"Heck if I know." Barley shrugged, then took another sip. "Dr. Baguette was the one in charge of the underground section of Lakeside. All I know about this room is where the coffee machine is."

I caught something in his sentence. "You said Dr. Baguette was in charge of this place?"

"Mmhmm." He slowly nodded. "Baguette was the first one killed."

I blinked. "Here?"

Barley shook his head. "No. If you walk down that other hallway," he pointed to the hallway opposite of the one we came in from, "you'll see a big scorch mark on the floor. Judging from the position she was in; it looked like she ran from this room. That hallway has nothing but that mark, so there might not be any clues to find there, but since she must have been in this room, there might still be something here."

Hmm, made sense. I looked around the room. Oh boy... with so many science-y things in here, it would be hard to differentiate clues from things that are unrelated to the murder, but...I had to try. First, let's learn more about this Dr. Baguette.

"Captain...who was Dr. Baguette." I asked.

"Like I said, she ran the underground section of Lakeside. She was pretty much the lead scientist down here. She organized the unicorns who maintain the purifier, while on the side, researching for a way to purge radiation from our water." He sighed. "Her death was a major blow to the town. Now I'll probably have to get Bismuth to take over for her."

As Barley was talking, Yellow walked around the lab, looking at all the strange gadgets and doohickeys. She stopped when she spotted an orange sitting inside a glass box with no lid. She picked it up with her hoof and was about to peel it when a voice shouted from the other hallway.

"Stop! Put that back down!"

All three of us turned at once to the source of the voice. Standing in the hallway was a unicorn buck a few years older than me who was wearing a lab coat. His fur was dark red with a light green mane and tail.

Barley spoke. "Matter of fact, that's Bismuth right there."

Bismuth approached Yellow and spoke in a very taut voice. "Please put that back before you ruin days of work."

Yellow eyed Bismuth, then the orange in her hoof. "Um, dude? It's just an ora--" The orange then sprouted six insect legs that tried to get a hold on Yellow Jacket's hoof. "What the!? Yaaa!" She screamed as she shook it off her hoof. After landing back in the box, the 'orange' scurried around in it.

"It wasn't always." Bismuth replied matter-of-factly.

"The hell is that!" Yellow demanded as she nervously rubbed her hoof, almost as if she could still feel it trying to crawl on her.

"That," Bismuth said as he pointed to the creature in the box, "used to be a rad-roach."

I walked up to the 'fruit insect' and stared at it with interest. "Ok, I'll bite." I tapped the glass. "How'd you do it?"

Bismuth replied to my question. "We used a polymorph spell on a rad-roach. It was one of Dr. Baguette's...pet projects."

I glanced at Bismuth. "Polymorph spell? I thought that was lost pre-war knowledge."

He chuckled. "It is, but Dr. Baguette was working to re-discover it."

"Umm." Yellow Jacket raised her hoof. "Can someone care to tell me what this polly-want-a-cracker spell is?"

Bismuth looked at Yellow almost as if she were a foal. "It's pronounced 'poly-morph', and what it is; is a very complicated spell."

Yellow rubbed the back of her neck. "I get that, but what does it do?"

I saw his eye twitch; he clearly wasn't in a very good mood, but still took the time to explain anyway. "It's a spell that changes one thing into another. For example; rocks into gold, a balloon into a bowling ball, or...rad-roaches into oranges."

It took Yellow a couple seconds to process all that. "Oh I see now! Kinda sounds neat."

"Yes...neat." Bismuth said before he used his magic to pick up the cage with the 'rad-orange' in it and moved it over to a shelf that had five other similar cages. I couldn't help but notice that under each of them, taped to the shelving were strips of white tape; written on them were numbers that went from one to six.

The dying buck from the alley's voice played in my head. 'Specimen seven'. My eyes widened as a new notification appeared in my E.F.S

Notes Taken.

-No weapons can be smuggled into Lakeside.

-All six victims were unicorns and died by fire.

-Dr. Baguette was the first victim.

-Brisum is to take Dr. Baguette's place.

-Polymorph spells were being researched by Dr. Baguette.

-Specimen seven?

So far, I had a strong suspicion of Bismuth. It seemed like he had the most to gain from the Doctor's death, and polymorph spells were being practiced here. Could Bismuth have used that spell to create or hide a flamethrower inside Lakeside? But some things weren't adding up, there was still the question of why?. Why kill Dr. Baguette and five other unicorns? What was there to gain other than her position? Was there a higher pay raise or some other thing I just don't know about?

Captain Barley approached the unicorn and placed a hoof on his shoulder. "How are you holding up? No pressure, but I'm sure you'll do fine being head scientist from here on out. Bare in mind that I'm not asking you to replace Dr. Baguette, but instead to take over for her."

Bismuth sighed. "I know, Captain Barley...it's just that...she was an amazing pony to even manage all of this. It's a tough job, but somepony has to do it; it might as well be me..."

As those two were in the middle of their conversation, I quickly scanned the room and found the one thing I was able to recognize. A terminal. I went unnoticed as I pulled out a wire from my PipBuck and plugged it into one of the terminal's ports. A couple button taps later and the words 'Copying files' appeared on the PipBuck's screen. Now done, I unplugged the wire from the terminal and watched as it retracted back into my PipBuck.

I turned to Yellow who just watched me with a confused look the entire time I was downloading. I then faked a yawn. "Well... It's getting late; Yellow and I should find a place for the night."

Captain Barley's ears perked up as he turned to me. "It is getting late, isn't it? I can arrange a room for you two in one of the inns in town. But detective, if you find out anything more. Do not hesitate to find me."

My eyes shifted to Bismuth. "Will do, Captain...will do."

* * *

I opened the door to our room and saw that it was just like the rest of the building we were in; constructed from wood for flooring and various scraps of metal acting as walls. Well at least we have an overlook view of the crystal tree. The only furniture in the room was two chairs, a table, and an old bunk bed. The second Yellow saw the bed, she ran up to it, yelling, "top, mine!" Then climbed up to it to secure her throne. I didn't even care as I crawled into the bottom bunk and laid on my back, then raised my PipBuck to eye level. I began searching through its contents until I found the files I downloaded earlier. In order to avoid reading the entirety of unrelated files, I focused on the ones dating back to a few days before the first murder up to today; doing so showed that only two entries matched my search. The one before the murder was a log.

Thanks to our benefactor, we've been able to recreate a polymorph spell with some success. However, because none of us truly know the entirety of the spell, it took myself and the seven other unicorns researching it to cast it at once in order to stimulate the desired effect, but even then there were flaws in the end product. Regardless, I believe that we are ready for the next stage in our research, and I am positive that if it succeeds, we will be able to help the town flourish and prosper. Bismuth and Savvy both had an argument earlier regarding our progress; Bismuth stated that he fears that we are too eager to start the next stage, while Ms. Savvy tried to assure him that all proper tests were conducted and safety precautions were put in place. He was resistant at first, but I managed to convince Bismuth to continue with our first attempt at polymorphing at a much complex scale. If we can perfect the polymorph spell, we would be able to sell it for a high amount of caps; personally I'm not in it for the money, but it would be nice to never have to worry about funding for our other projects. -Dr. Baguette

Well, that solved one mystery. Apparently, a perfected polymorph spell would be worth a fortune; if Bismuth is the killer, then that would have been a very good motive to kill. I also noticed that the doctor mentioned that there were seven other unicorns researching the spell, so far, there were six murders; meaning that two of the researchers were still alive. If one of them is Bismuth, then that must mean that there is one last researcher still unaccounted for. Maybe this last file would provide some more insight.

The file was an audio file, which I played. There was the sound of somepony breathing, followed by a couple moments of silence. Finally, a stallions voice spoke; it was Bismuth's, and he sounded stressed.

"T-the...others are dead. There's just two of us left now. This has to end...she found out I was trying to track her down, so she's been on the move trying to evade me. However, I noticed by the trail she leaves that she's regularly in the vicinity of this one house a couple blocks behind the bar; the one by the crystal tree. I'm going to hide out in that alley and wait for her to show, then I'll use that thing I made and finally put an end to this...tonight."

Wait? Tonight!? This audio file was dated today! Around the time Yellow and I found the buck in the alley!

I quickly got up from bed, then ran out the door. Yellow, noticing me panic, jumped off the top bunk and caught up to me. As we ran to the house mentioned in the audio file, Yellow yelled, "what's going on! Why are you running!?"

As I ran, I answered her. "It's Bismuth! He's the killer! And he's about to do it again if we don't stop him!"

Passing the bar, I tried to explain to Yellow about the polymorph spell, the fortune, the audio file, and the last researcher. She just followed me as she tried to understand it all while I looked into alleys for any markers on my E.F.S. I stopped when one alley showed two green markers; nearing it, I saw the silhouette of two figures in the dark narrow space. One in the shape of a mare peering into one of the house's windows, and the other a stallion hiding behind a dumpster. The stallion's features were illuminated by a faint light coming from the magic he was using to hold on to something. It was Bismuth, and he using his magic to aim something at the mare; the thing looked like some kind of weapon made from different machine parts.

Without even thinking, I charged into Bismuth, surprising both him and the mare, and causing him to drop device before he could fire it. "You!?" Bismuth shouted as I tried to subdue him. He still struggled to pick up the device with his magic; once he did, he tried to aim it at the mare, but before he could fire, Yellow ran up and kicked the machine aside, causing it to shoot out two wires with needles at the end into a garbage bag instead. The crackling sound of electricity could be heard running from the machine to the bag.

"You're not killing anyone tonight!" I shouted as I tried to pin him.

He just looked at me with confusion and panic in his eyes. "Kill!? I'm not trying to kill anyone!"

"Yeah right! I know about the polymorph spell, and that you tried to kill the other researchers so you could sell it on your own!" I turned to the mare in the shadows. "You even tried to kill one just now!"

The mare stepped out of the shadows and...the mare wasn't a unicorn at all. She was an earth pony with a blue-ish green coat and a brown mane with a cutie mark of a leafy tree branch that had some kind of white flowers with yellow and black centers. I had no idea who this mare was, but something about her struck a chord with me; almost like something I put in the back of my mind, then just forgot. Staring at the mare, the answer to who she was arrived when a familiar looking sleepy eyed colt walked out of the house the mystery mare was looking into.

"Mommy?" Mulberry? Then that must mean the mare is...his mother. The mare just stood there and stared at Mulberry with hesitant eyes.

"Get off me!" Bismuth shouted as he managed to push me off him. Once we both got to our feet, he pointed a hoof at me. "You've ruined everything! I was this close to--" He turned to Mulberry who was approaching his mother. "No!"

Mulberry didn't even hear Bismuth as he hugged his mother's leg. "Mom! You're back!"

A smile appeared on the mothers face as she was being embraced by her son, but that quickly changed to one of agony. She then pushed Mulberry away and yelled. "Sweetie! Please stay away!"

The colt got back to his feet and stared at his mother with a hurt expression in his little eyes. "Mommy? Why?"

The scar over my mouth started to burn...

"Dammit!" Bismuth ran past me and Yellow, then quickly scooped up Mulberry with his magic and ran off.

Yellow and I were about to give chase until Mulberry's mother crouched in pain and started screaming. We both looked at her in confusion as her hide started smoking, then slowly changing into a charred black until it all turned to ash and blew into the wind. It almost looked as if she were being burned alive from the inside. Her skin started to crack open, then what looked like molten lava bled from those cracks and covered the rest of her body. When she finally stopped screaming, she got up and stared at us with empty glowing yellow fiery eyes; her body looked like that of a statue with glowing veins of fire and magma separating the obsidian plates her hide seemed to be made from. Every breath she took puffed out embers from her nostrils and mouth.

We were both speechless as we watched her transformation finish; Yellow was the first one of us to break that silence. "What. The. Fu--"

The lava pony opened her mouth, then spewed fire in our direction. I reacted immediately by tackling Yellow out of the way, both of us flat on the floor as the flames went over us. The moment the flames stopped, I got Yellow and I to our feet, then ran out of the alley; around the corner of one of the buildings, I saw Bismuth with Mulberry on his back, waving at us to follow him.

Yellow and I looked back in fear as we ran to Bismuth with Mulberry's mother in hot pursuit of our tails while the sounds she made were almost like that of a feral ghoul. With Bismuth ahead of us, he led us to the building that leads to the underground section of Lakeside. With his magic, he opened the steel doors, then ran in and stood by them while he waited for us to get in as well. Yellow and I practically dived in before he slammed it shut behind us, then barred the door with a steel pipe.

I leaned against the door as Yellow and I tried to catch our breath. Despite all the panting, I was able to ask one question. "The...hell...was that?"

Bismuth responded, as he was also panting. "It's--" I almost jumped as something slammed against the door, again and again. "I'll explain downstairs."

I quickly got up and stared at the door, It was starting to glow red and I could feel the heat emanating from it. Just then, a rocky hoof punched through the brightest part of the metal and was waving around, trying to get a hold of us. She was burning through the door! Yellow and I then pulled out our guns and started shooting through the hole she made, they hit her and chunks of obsidian were blown off, but she seemed more pissed than hurt as they regrew! Backing away from the door, we followed Bismuth down the stairs.

"Yeah! Downstairs sounds good!"

* * *

We made it back to the same laboratory we were in hours ago; most of the hallways were dim, seeing as nopony was supposed to be here at this hour. On our way here, we sealed several doors in order to slow down our pursuer. When Bismuth set Mulberry down on a chair, I noticed that the colt was shaking with fear as he just stared into dead space.

After inspecting him to make sure he was fine, Bismuth spoke in a hushed tone. "Honey Suckle... Her name is Honey Suckle."

Yellow crossed her forelegs. "Ok, the super deadly flame pony trying to kill us has a name, that's nice. THE HELL IS SHE!?"

He sighed, then looked to the floor. "She's the tragic result of my team's hubris."

I leaned my head forward towards his direction. "Yeah, I'm going to need a little more insight on that. Let's start with an explanation."

"Yes...of course." Bismuth said with a slow nod. "You're involved now, you might as well know." He took a deep breath as he tried to relax, then started rummaging around the lab, picking up all sorts of machine parts, and placing them all on a table. "You two know about the polymorph spell Dr. Baguette was working on, right?"

Yellow and I both answered at the same time.

"Yes."

"The gist of it."

He continued. "The idea was simple at first. Perfect the polymorph spell and use it for the good of the wastes. Settlement needs building materials? Turn nearby rocks into lumber. Not enough food? Change dead trees into fresh hay. Out of medical supplies? Convert a sparkle cola into a healing potion. The possibilities were endless." A brief smile was on his face for that last part, but then that was replaced by a scowl. " As incomplete as the spell was, each one of us could use it only on small inanimate objects, and even then it was a half decent job. But then some members of the research team thought they could do more; they then convinced the rest and myself to use the spell on living things. A rock is one thing, but a living breathing creature is another; the spell...rewrites DNA, so to speak. We started experimenting on small creatures; roaches, mice, flies, those sort of things. The team then got full of themselves and suddenly decided to go one step beyond."

At this point, I could guess what that next step was. "You decided to use it on ponies..."

Bismuth lowered his head in shame. "The team had one mindset when it came to that step. Use the spell and rewrite a pony's DNA in order to make them immune to radiation."

Yellow's eyes widened. "Could you do that!?"

He shrugged. "In theory...it was either that, or more resistant to it."

I looked to the frightened colt. "But what about Mulberry's mother? When did she get involved in this mess?"

Bismuth turned to Mulberry; the little guy wasn't even paying attention to us, as his mind just couldn't process that the thing trying to kill us was his own mother. Bismuth spoke in a lower volume so the colt couldn't hear in case he snapped out of it. "Honey Suckle was...she was a friend of one of the researchers. She was a scavenger who hit hard times; nearly every place that once had worthy salvage was picked clean, so she was hired to be our seventh living test subject with the spell. We told her of the risks, but she still agreed because she was in desperate of caps for raising her son. Once we were ready, all eight of us preformed the spell on her; at first, it looked like it was a complete success! We then had her walk through one of the most irradiated areas near the water purifier; the radiation hadn't affected at all! We thought we did it! We believed that we achieved what wasn't possible for nearly two centuries!" His face then became downtrodden. "But then..."

Right on cue, the sound of Honey Suckle's howling and metal sizzling could be heard through the closed bulkhead; judging by the pitch of it, she was two or three doors away from reaching us.

Yellow looked to said bulkhead with concern while pointing to it. "Uh...I'm gonna take a guess here and say that that happened!"

I looked to Bismuth with a slightly confused look on my face. "I thought you guys were trying to make her rad proof. What happened?"

The science pony picked up what he collected on the table with his magic, then started putting them together. He spoke as he concentrated with what he was doing.

"DNA is...fickle... If you aren't careful, you might cause a domino effect, and who knows what the end result could be!? It also didn't help that we were working off an incomplete spell... We hadn't realize our mistake until after the radiation test...when the team and I were down here celebrating with Honey Suckle. Imagine our horror when she started screaming and...changing before our eyes; that's when she started attacking us. The team scattered while Dr. Beguette and I ran together with her chasing us..." He squeezed his eyes shut as they started to moisten. "That's when Dr. Baguette died... I could have helped her, but I was too much of a coward and hid as our mistake burned her to a crisp, then ran off." He looked at Yellow and I with a pleading look in his expression. "You have to understand, Honey Suckle has no control over when and where she changes, neither does she have control over her actions when she becomes that...thing."

"Then why didn't you all go to Captain Barley?" I asked.

Bismuth lowered his head. "Believe me, I wanted to. But Barley would rather have had her killed...or tired to. You've seen how ineffective your weapons were, there would have been a lot more blood shed if they hunted her." He shook his head. "No...instead the rest of the research team tried to capture her in order to see where they went wrong so they could still make their fortune and satisfy their greed...they didn't succeed. Only me and two other members were hoping to cure her...you met one of them earlier...in the alley..."

The buck...

So this is the reason I was sent here... I came here expecting to find a psychotic murderer with a fire obsession, but instead, what I found was a mother who put herself in this situation because of her love for her child; forced to become some in-equine creature, all because some scientists were more interested in making their fortune, rather than making absolutely sure that they knew what they were doing. Even if they succeeded in recreating the spell...would it have been worth the lives it took to make it happen?

"Sounds like things would have been better if the doctor never even though of trying to recreate it." I said with a straight face.

"That's the thing though..."Bismuth snickered. "She wasn't the one who thought of that..."

I tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

"Dr. Baguette didn't wake up some day and decided to recreate a two hundred year old lost spell... I'm not sure who, but somepony gave it to her..." I was even more confused, but before I opened my mouth, he continued. "She was given terminal data that had notes on how to recreate the polymorph spell; the data was heavily damaged, but still had parts of it intact. Dr. Baguette was just filled in the gaps to the best of her ability."

She was given notes on how to recreate the spell? Who could have done that, and why?

"Who gave her the no--" I was cut off when the sound of something ramming itself again and again came from the room's bulkhead door. Quickly turning to it, I could see that it was slowly starting to glow red as it heated up.

Aw crap... I thought we had more time than this!

Yellow backed away from the door. "Guys! I think we are out of doors!"

Bismuth was frantically picking up his pace as he continued to put seemingly random parts together.

"I-I need more time!" He yelled.

I ran up to his table. "What are you even doing with those!"

"I'm trying to make another stun gun! With what I have, I can only make one that can fire one shot, and you two ruined my opportunity to incapacitate her when you jumped me earlier!"

Yellow looked away and rubbed her neck as I tapped my front hooves together in embarrassment. Heh heh...whoops...

Without even looking as us, he pointed to one of the other doors as he worked. "I'll need one of you to go around and get her attention while I finish making this!"

There was a moment of silence that was broken by Yellow's voice.

"I'll do it!" She then turned to the other door, but before she moved to it, I bit her Stable barding's collar, stopping her. Surprised by the sudden jolt, she turned her head to face me.

"Nuh-uh." I shook my head after I released her. "It's my fault that Bismuth missed, so it has to be me who goes out there." I walked to the door and opened it, halfway through, I turned back to her with a nervous smile on my face. "Besides, out of the two of us, I've been in more gun fights; this should be like one...except with fire...and she regenerates..." I turned to the hallway and made one step in, then looked back to Yellow. "And she's scar--"

"Just go already." Yellow said with a deadpanned expression.

I quickly nodded as I walked into the hallway. "Right, right..."

* * *

After going around a couple hallways, I leaned against a wall next to a corner; peering around it, I saw Honey Suckle as she breathed fire onto the door to the room I was in earlier. Parts of the metal were already starting to slowly run down to the floor as if they were liquid. I drew out Conversationalist and stared at the ceiling.

Ok, all I have to do is keep her busy until Bismuth is done with the stun gun...thing. I just need to not end up an extra crispy detective with a side of fries, easy...right?

After a few deep breaths, I jumped around the corner and started yelling at her around Conversationalist's mouth piece. Despite my shouts being muffled, she turned to me. I then shot at her three times; they all hit her in her side, however, she didn't even react to what should have been pain to a normal pony! Instead she looked to the three gaps in her plate armor, then to me. The holes I made slowly closed up as she started running towards me! I quickly turned around and dashed down the hallway; as she chased, flame erupted from her mouth, trying to set me on fire! She was too far, so the flames went over me, but close enough for me to feel the intense heat through my duster coat. I didn't know the layout of this place, so I just ran through any door that didn't have a red X on it, hoping that I would find another.

After running behind one, I slammed it shut as she hit her head against it. Clearly that angered her as I heard her pounding the door with much fury.

I gave myself a small breather and inspected the room I was currently in. Judging by the copious amount of terminals in here; my guess was that this was the terminal room for the researchers. There was one big terminal by the wall that had a just as big desk besides it. Sticking out from behind the desk was the shaking horn of a unicorn.

"Umm...I can see you hiding there." I said in the horn's direction.

The unicorn horn froze on the spot, then the owner stepped out from behind the desk. It was a blue eyed, red coated unicorn mare with a yellow mane and tail wearing a lab coat similar to Bismuth's.

"Who are you?" I asked.

She responded with a nervously weak voice. "I'm...I'm Savvy..."

Savvy? Now where did I hear that before? ...Oh right! Bismuth's audio file said that there were two of the research team members left, so other than Bismuth, Savvy would be the last one.

A loud bang caused me to look to the locked door, where Honey Suckle had managed to punch a hole through the weakened metal.

"Savvy!" The unicorn almost jumped when I called her. "I need you to go down that other door!" I pointed to one of the three doors this room had while I walked to the center of the room. Suddenly, Honey jumped through the door that barred her path; it was practically putty after the amount of heat she used on it! Honey looked at me, then to Savvy, unsure of which of us to kill first. "Dammit!" I pulled out Conversationalist, then started unloading on the flame pony, making her refocus on me. I then opened the door opposite of the one Savvy was opening and backed into it, shooting at Honey as I did so. The second Savvy closed the door behind her, I made a 180 and ran down the hallway, with Honey hot on my tail! Every door I passed had an X and I needed someway to shake her for a bit... Just ahead was a door with no X, which I quickly opened, then ran into.

It was a dark room with no visibility. I quickly turned on my PipBuck light and saw stacks of wooden crates filling the entirety of the room. Turning around, I could see a fiery glow reflecting off the hallway's walls. I swiftly deactivated the light and hid behind one of the crates. When Honey Suckle ran in, she immediately became the only source of light as she turned the once pitch black room into one of crimson. Peeking around a crate, I could only make out her glowing eyes and lava like veins that parted her stone like armor. She growled as she scanned the room for me. My nose stung as she made the air dry in her search, each time she jumped around one crate, I jumped to the next; I didn't need my E.F.S. to know where she was in this dark room when she was the only source of illumination in it.

Alright, I think I can do this for a couple minutes.

Just when I felt sure of myself, Honey Suckle howled, then hurled flame from her mouth in all directions, setting the crates on fire. My eyes widened in shock as I dodged one stack of flaming crates falling to the floor. Now that I was exposed, she saw me, then snorted ember as she slowly walked towards me. I immediately looked for another door but saw that there were none! I had trapped myself! She stood in the way to the only entrance this room had, and any other path was blocked by flaming debris. She didn't run, she didn't have to; some part of her probably knew that I had nowhere to go. I positioned myself behind a crate that failed to catch fire and started shooting at her from around it. The bullets didn't even faze her as she still made her way to me...step by step. Ducking behind the crate and leaning against it, I reloaded, then started coughing as the room was filling up with smoke.

So this is how it's going to be huh? Death by fire... Oh this is going to hurt, isn't it?

In the corner of my eye, I saw a hoof that looked like dried lava placed on the corner of the crate I was leaning on. The wood sizzled as Honey put her weight on it; looking up to her, I watched as she slowly opened her maw. The inside of her mouth looked like a furnace, ready to coat me in very painful fire. As the heat started to make me sweat, I looked away and flinched as I awaited it.

What I got instead was the opposite. Just as her mouth got brighter, a loud bell sounded off then died, followed by a shower of water coming from the ceiling. Opening my eyes and turning back to Honey, I saw her back away from me as she glowed in pain. The smoke from the crates must have turned on the room's sprinkler system! Each drop of water that hit her turned into steam, causing a loud sizzling sound and the room to darken. No longer enduring the drench, she ran out of the room and back to the hallway were it was dry, then just stared at me from afar as I got soaked. As I stood there in the dark, my clothes, coat and mane getting soggy...I smiled like somepony who just got a joke that was told hours before. My PipBuck clicked a few times; the water was slightly radioactive, but I didn't care.

Yellow's voice then echoed from down the hallway behind Honey. "Hey! P.I.! We're ready! You still alive down there!?"

"Apparently!" I yelled. Geez, what took so long?

"Good! Now we need you to lure her to the room by the water purifier!"

"Umm..." I watched as Honey looked down the hallway behind her, then started following Yellow's voice. "Already on it!"

I tailed Honey from a distance, leaving wet hoof prints on the concrete floor. She then entered the room where the others were waiting; it was a large multi-story area with stairs leading to both higher and lower sections of the place, there was a large window looking into the neighboring room housing a large machine that had tons of tubes going in and out of it. My guess was that it was the water purifier. Honey didn't care about the rooms decor as she walked to the center and scanned all around the room, looking for the source of voice from earlier.

She found it when Yellow stood before a door leading to a set of descending stairs.

"Yo! Come get me!" She taunted as she ran down the stairs. Honey pursued the amber mare while I followed the fire-pony.

The stairs led to a hallway with three passages, the one ahead led to an empty room with much bulkier doors than the ones I've seen so far, while the others went to two other corridors.

Yellow was inside the empty room, waving to Honey. "Over here!"

Honey Suckle growled as she ran into the room after her; the second she entered, Yellow ran through the other door and closed it. Meanwhile, Bismuth emerged from behind the first door and slammed it shut, trapping Honey in the empty room.

With a smile on his face, Bismuth glanced to me and gestured for me to follow. We went through one of the pathways as it led around the room Honey was in, halfway through, I saw Yellow at the other end, walking towards us with Mulberry in tow. There was a window on the wall were we could see Honey inside the room as she tried to melt her way through the doors.

"She's not getting out from that room." Bismuth calmly stated. "That used to be the base's explosive ordinance room; those doors were made to withstand high temperatures in case of a fire."

"What now?" I asked.

"Now, we wait. She might give up and revert to herself, when she does..." Using his magic, he showed me what looked like the same weapon I saw him use in the alley earlier. "I'll stun her with this, then see what I can do for her."

With the exception of Mulberry, all of us watched as Honey pounded the doors to no avail; we might not have been able to hear her, but guessing from what looked like frustration on her face, she appeared to be growling and screaming the entire time. She turned and spotted us watching her, then blasted fire in our direction. Yellow and I ducked while Bismuth remained unwavering; as quickly as it came, the fire dissipated from the window.

Oh...of course they would have given the window the same fireproof treatment...

Peering back in, I saw Honey was beginning to slow down in her assault on the doors. Her breathing quickened, sending billows of ember and soot before her, until she collapsed to the floor. Once again I witnessed her change, only this time in reverse. The second she was herself, all four of us went to the room's bulkhead and opened it.

Honey Suckle was back to normal as she laid on her side, then raised her head from the floor and looked at us with teary eyes. "Did I...did I hurt anyone?"

Bismuth smiled as she shook his head. "No, thankfully you did not."

"Oh..." Exhausted, she lowed her head back to the concrete. "Good..."

"Mommy?" Mulberry slipped past our legs, nearing his mother.

"No...sweetie...stay back." She weakly raised a hoof, imploring him to stay where he is. "I'm still not safe..."

Bismuth showed her the stun gun. "I'm going to have to use this; if you're unconscious, you might not turn."

Honey feebly nodded. "Do it."

Bismuth inhaled deeply, then aimed the weapon at the mare and fired. Two needles on wires launched from the device, jabbed into her, then immediately sent a current of electricity into Honey. A couple seconds of her spasming later, and she was out cold. Bismuth removed the needles from her then tired to pick her up, I walked to them and helped by carrying her by one side while he took the other. We took Honey while Yellow carried the foal on her back as we made our way to the stairs.

Once we had her by the foot of the stairs, I started to feel my side get warm, then warmer, then hot! Bismuth and I quickly turned to Honey and saw her coat burning into cinders; urgently, I dropped Honey as she started to change again!

"I thought you said she wouldn't change!" I exclaimed.

Bismuth yelled back. "I said she might not change!"

We both ran up the stairs; confused, Yellow looked back and saw why we were in such a hurry, then ran ahead of us towards the door.

"Hey!" Yellow shouted. "The door won't budge!"

Bismuth and I both pushed when we reached the top, and sure enough, she was right...it didn't move an inch. Looking back down, I observed as Honey was once again a flame pony; she leaned her head up and saw us pushing against the door.

"On the count of three, we push!" I yelled. "One! Two! ...Three!" At three we all rammed the door, but it remained closed.

Once again, Honey took her time getting to us; clearly the lava pony in her enjoyed toying with her prey. Looking down at Honey, I spotted a door halfway down the stairs that was marked with an X. It was there that I made a decision. I ran down to it, looked to the two ponies struggling with the door, the scared colt, the nearing Honey Suckle, then finally to the door.

A part of me really didn't want to do what I was about to, but I quickly silenced that part by shouting my weak attempt at rationalizing why I should. "Aw hell, I'm already wet!"

I then struggled to open the bulkhead door, straining myself; I succeeded, and was rewarded with a powerful wave of lake water that washed both me and Honey back down to the empty room. With every other door in this floor closed, the room quickly started to fill up. Even if I wasn't the worst swimmer, there was no way I would have been able to fight against the current, so I just held my breath hoping for the best. The water was murky and hard to see through, but I could still make out the glowing form of Honey under the water a good distance from me. She was trying to scream underwater and the area around her was bubbling, all I could hear was the sound of my PipBuck rapidly ticking and what sounded like a waterfall. As I was running out of air, the waterfall like noise stopped and the force of the current subsided; I then tired to swim my way back to the stairs when all of a sudden I felt rocky hooves take hold off one of my back legs! It was Honey! The water around her was still warm, but no longer boiling; I struggled to release myself from her grip, but she just wouldn't let go! The pressure in my lungs built to the point where my mouth involuntarily opened as it tried to gasp for air; instead, what I got was a mouthful of foul tasting water painfully forcing its way into my lungs.

Right when I was starting to lose consciousness, I heard the splash of somepony diving in. It was Yellow! She swam up to me and saw Honey was keeping me from surfacing; she then swam to a wall, put her back hooves to it, then kicked, propelling herself towards Honey's hoof. When Yellow impacted it, Honey's whole leg disintegrated into a cloud of ash; freeing me. I had no strength left, so Yellow pulled me to the stairs, but as everything was getting dark, the last thing I saw was Honey as the rest of her body ceased glowing, then slowly broke apart.

A minute or two later, I frantically coughed up spouts of water; once my lungs rid themselves of the liquid, I gasped for sweet sweet air! I was no longer underwater and my head was resting on somepony's hooves. Carefully opening my eyes, I saw Yellow Jacket's face as it hovered over mine; water was dripping off her black and yellow mane and onto my forehead. She took a deep breath, then lowered her face toward mine, lining up her mouth with mine. Before she did, however, I put my hoof to her mouth, stopping her.

"Stop...I'm alive..." I spoke almost as if I were woken very early in the morning.

Once she was satisfied by my response, she let go of my head, causing it to drop to the floor. Ow...

She got to her hooves then looked down to me and responded with a cocky tone in her voice. "Told you! You need me to Save.Your.Flanks."

Ok...she may have had a point there, but she'd never hear me admit it. Especially not now since I was long consciousness again, only this time from exhaustion.

* * *

When I awoke for the second time, I was on a bed, naked with an I.V drip in my foreleg; the I.V. bag held some sort of orange liquid. Looking around, I saw that I was in some sort of medical room; there were diagrams and posters on the walls depicting the image of a smiling yellow pegasus mare holding onto a tray full of fruits and veggies. Most of them had the same message saying 'Remember fillies and colts; it's important to eat at least one more bite of the proper food for your growing bodies.'

I suddenly heard the voice of a mare.

"Well, I see you're awake." From behind a white curtain where my clothes where hung over to dry, emerged a nearly white coated, glasses wearing unicorn with a blue mane; she was around Bismuth's age. "You soaked up a lot of radiation from your little swim back there, so we had to purge it from you. Normally we would have had you drink the rad-away like your friend, but you weren't awake for that, so I took the liberty of introducing it to your blood stream. Hope you don' mind."

Looking to my forearm, I winced as I hesitantly stared at the needle piercing my skin, then shuddered. Ugh...needles...not a fan...

Trying to ignore it, I attempted to make small talk with this new mare. "So, umm...where are the others?"

"Right here." The doctor said before she pulled back the curtain to reveal Yellow, Bismuth, and Mulberry sitting on a wooden bench.

Yellow waved and spoke nonchalantly. "Yo."

"You're...still wearing your Stable barding?" I uttered. I could see that her mane was dry, but there were still dark splotches on her suit. "Aren't you going to catch a cold?"

She shrugged. "Meh, a little water never killed anybody." Her smirk quickly turned to a frown as she realized what she just said.

That...reminds me of something.

"Bismuth." He looked to me. "About Honey Suckle..."

"I know." He said with regret in his voice. "It's a shame, but, if you didn't do what you did...we all might have died down there." He then turned to the unicorn mare. "If you hadn't come when you did, we might still be trapped down there. What were you doing there anyway, Savvy?"

My eyes widened as I stared at the glasses wearing unicorn.

"I got an alert on my terminal here saying that somepony was tampering with the main server. It was fortunate that I went down to investigate, other wise you would still be down there. I don't know why somepony would jam that door with a steel bar though?"

"Wait..." I muttered. All of them except for Mulberry turned to me. "You're Savvy? Do you have a sister? Or somepony who shares the same name here?"

She seemed confused by my question. "No, why?"

"I met somepony down there who said she was Savvy...in the terminal room..."

Shocked, Bismuth ran to the terminal on Savvy's desk, then started hectically typing.

Bismuth's face became one of shock. "It's gone!"

"What?" Savvy muttered as she walked behind Bismuth, and looked over his shoulder to the terminal's screen. "All the data we had on the polymorph spell...it's been deleted from the local network...wiped clean..."

I then heard a familiar gruff voice. "And is that really such a bad thing?"

Turning to the new voice, I noticed Captain Barley standing at the doorway.

Bismuth averted his eyes from the screen; he seemed surprisingly accepting of what just happened. "No...I guess not..."

Barley then focused on me. "While you were out, Bismuth told me everything. If I had known sooner that these experiments were being conducted, I would have put a stop to it." He looked to the terminal. "I don't know who erased that data, nor do I care; it would have been too dangerous to have around. We wouldn't want somepony else to give it a shot and cause a repeat of what happened down there. He then approached my bed. "From what I hear, if you didn't get involved, Bismuth would have been killed the moment he thought he could take Honey alive. Your actions may have saved his life and who knows how many others, and for that you have my thanks."

I tried to tip my hat to him in return, but instead found that my hoof went through air above my head. Oh right...hat is also drying... Fine, regular old boring nod it is then.

"I know I'm not the one who hired you, but I would appreciate it if you at least accepted some form of payment from me for what you did."

If I were a humble pony, I would have graciously declined his offer, but I'm not one, so I might as well accept whatever amount he offers. I like to think of it like...bonus caps.

After accepting, I slowly pulled out the drip from my foreleg and felt squeamish as I did so.

Bullets? Yes any day. Explosions? Come at me debris! Fire? Nice and snug. Needles? Heeeck no! I'd rather get a combination of the first three!

With the needle finally out, a small dot of blood began pooling where it once was. I quickly brought the injection spot to my mouth and closed the gap with my tongue; hopefully the saliva would help it heal quicker. As I did so, I noticed the other ponies in the room where staring at me with raised eyebrows.

...What?

I noticed that the only one who wasn't staring was Mulberry; he was just silent and stared ahead with unblinking eyes.

I waved at Barley to get his attention, then pointed to the young colt. "Barley? What's going to happen to Mulberry?"

The earth pony turned to the colt then sighed. "I'm not sure... with his mother gone, there's no pony to take care of him. It's a sad thing, but he might be sent to this one place up in the Hoof called Chapel. I hear it's a haven for orphans." He then took out a pack of cigarettes and a match box, place a cigarette in his mouth, then used his hoof to carefully take a match, then rubbed it fast against his barding, lighting it.

Mulberry screamed then buried his face in his hooves the second he saw the small flame. Bismuth blew out the match then walked up to the sobbing colt and tried to console him.

"That...won't be necessary." Bismuth sighed. "I'm partially responsible for what happened to his mother, so the least I can do is take him in and raise him myself."

Barley looked to Bismuth with intrigue. "Bismuth...you sure?"

"Yes...I helped ruin his life, so it only seems fitting that I take responsibility."

Barley gave this some thought, then shrugged. "Very well then, if that is how you feel." He then turned to Yellow and I. "As for you two, I'll have one of the guards compensate you on the way out." He then left the room.

I got out of bed and stretched my muscles, then I put on my clothes and saddle bags. (I needed Savvy's help to reapply the tie. Using magic to tie it is much easier than doing it by hoof.)

Finally putting on my hat, I turned to Yellow. "Ready to head back?"

She grinned as she jumped out of her seat. "Ready!"

After saying goodbye to Bismuth, Savvy, and Mulberry (Mulberry didn't respond...) I opened the door and stepped out.

Bismuth's voice then called out from behind me. "Wait! Detective! You dropped three caps on the bed!"

Without looking back, I walked forward and yelled my response.

"No! I didn't drop them!"

* * *

"Good evening, wasteland! It is I! DJ Pon3! And boy do I have some news for you!

Our detective friend has been rather busy lately! But kiddies...word of advice. I recommend you get your tissues within hoof reach, cause this is one story that might make you bawl your little eyes out..."

* * *

Footnote : Level Up

New Perk Added--Nice and Snug: After this case's ordeal, you are now 10% resistant to all fire based damage.

Author's Note

Man! This was a hell of a chapter for me to write, procrastination was running rampant while I worked on this!

Feel free to comment, I'd really like to know your opinion about this story.

Chapter 4: Fortune for the Fools

What little moon light that pierced through the cloud layer, partially illuminated the ruins of an old manor. The wind howled around the estate as two arcs of light were seen through the windows, scanning the interior from within. Without warning, one of the lights went out. The remaining light looked around in silence, what soon followed was the sound of gunshots; each shot caused a white flash that disappeared as quick as it appeared. The lone light then turned in the opposite direction and made for the mansion's front door.

The door swung open to reveal a unicorn stallion on the other side. He looked back into the building with fear in his eyes, then shined his flashlight into the darkness.

"Twofer!" He shouted. "Twofer! Where are you!?" His heartbeat raced as he awaited a reply. He stood by the door for a few more seconds, then made for the exit when his response went unanswered. "Fuck this!"

As soon as half his body was through the doorway, something pulled his rear legs, causing the stallion to fall and drop his flashlight.

"No! No! Oh Goddesses! Please, no!" He screamed as he was being dragged back into the dark interior of the mansion. The stallion struggled to pull himself away using his forelegs, but this was in vain, as all he did was leave a twin trail of streaks scratched onto the wooden floor. He screamed one last time before he was yanked back in and the door slammed shut.

"NOOOOOO!"

Fallout Equestria: Private I.

Chapter 4: Fortune for the Fools

"Applejack, if you're scared, you can just admit it. You don't need to put your hoof around me."

"Uhh...I'm over here..."

* * *

I awoke in a rather uncomfortable position, my muscles ached and my neck was stiff from sleeping on the office's couch. If Yellow hadn't saved me two days ago, I wouldn't have gave in when she...'called dibs' on my bedroom when it was time for us to hit the hay after returning from Lakeside. The only thing that made the couch even remotely sleep-able was the fact that it could also be converted into a bed.

Thank you Chesterfield.

I crawled out of bed and stretched my legs while yawning. My eyelids were still heavy, but I didn't want to go back to the couch for a second sleep. I checked the time on my PipBuck and saw that it was early in the morning. After taking care of business in the bathroom, I walked to my bedroom door and knocked.

"Yellow." I tiredly muttered. "You awake?" I tried to open the door, but found it was locked.

Yellow Jacket's voice came from the room, there was a hint of annoyance in her voice. "Can't hear you! I'm asleep!" I could pick up the sound of her turning over on the bed in frustration. Guess she's not a morning pony. Neither am I, but since I'm up, I might as well get some breakfast.

I was practically swaying as I tried to keep my balance while wiping the sleepiness from my eyes. I walked to the coat rack in the corner where my hat, clothes, duster coat, and saddlebags were hung. Lowering the saddlebags to the floor, I unzipped it and searched around for some food. To my dismay, I found nothing but empty cans.

Oh no, don't tell me we ate everything I had already? Thinking about it, it did make sense that the food was gone. After all, I never intended to have enough to feed more than just myself. I sighed. I guess I have no choice but to get something from the tower. Food from the tower was alright, but ridiculously expensive when compared to what you might find somewhere else, it also didn't help that the tower's small portions aren't that filling to begin with.

I unhooked my clothes and proceeded to put them on, it took me a while to apply my tie with my sheepish morning hooves. Now dressed, I got my hat and placed it on my head, leaving the saddlebags with my coat on the rack. I then went to my bookcase and moved some books aside, revealing a safe in the wall that was hiding behind my collection. Entering the combination, it clicked as it unlocked, exposing my large collection of caps. After taking enough to buy a meal for Yellow and myself, I closed the safe, re-locked it, then put the books back in place.

I wasn't happy that I was going to spend some of my savings for overpriced Tenpony food when I could use the same money to buy three times the amount somewhere else. This meal would put a dent in my savings and would make it even longer for me to use the money for what I originally have in mind, but it's either eat something here or starve waiting for a client. I would have to stock up on more affordable grub the next chance I leave the tower.

I yelled in the bedroom's direction. "Yellow, I'm going to get something to eat! I'll bring you back something!"

No response...

I converted my bed back into a couch then walked out of my office. Closing the door behind me, I flipped the sign that was hanging on the doorknob from 'In' to 'Out'. After that was done, I headed to the elevator and rode it to the tower's shopping floor. As soon as the lift's doors opened, I practically strutted my way to one of the eateries, knowing full well that there was no way Chert and Reticle were currently in the tower. Them being non-citizens meant that they could only stay for a certain amount of time here.

Looking at all the eating establishments on this floor, I settled for the one that had a sign stating that it was having a breakfast special. After walking in and taking a seat, a waiter approached me, took my order then left for the kitchen. Five minutes later, he returned with a stack of pancakes with a square of butter on top, syrup, eating utensils, and a glass of chocolate milk.

My mouth watered as I took a whiff of the steam rising from the meal before me. I lathered the flapjacks in syrup then picked up both a fork and butter-knife using my hooves. Being an earth pony, I had more practice when it came to handling things with my hooves. I used the knife to slice syrup soaked triangles from the pancakes, stabbed them with the fork, then brought them to my mouth. As I did this, I occasionally took a sip of my chocolate milk. Each time I did so, I was reminded of my foalhood where my parents would often tease me by saying that chocolate milk came from brahmin that were actually made of chocolate. Me being a very young and naive colt at the time, actually took their words to heart. You would not believe the amount of fights I got into with the other foals over this issue.

Finishing breakfast, I then ordered the same meal to go, paid for both of them and left.

* * *

With Yellow's meal contained in a paper bag held in my mouth, I walked to my office door, flipped the sign back to 'In', then entered.

"Yellow, I got you some panca--"

The bag fell to the floor as my jaw dropped when I saw who was sitting in the client chair opposite of Yellow. It was a baby blue coated earth pony stallion with hazel eyes, he wore a black wool cap partially covering his brown and red mane, black and gray protective travel barding, and a pair of goggles hanging around his neck. His cutie mark was of a slot machine that had three '7's' lined up. He was a one or two years older than me.

From behind my desk, Yellow pointed a hoof at me and spoke to our guest. "Matter of fact, that's him right there." She then spoke in my direction. "P.I., you got another one."

When the buck turned his head and saw me standing by the door, we both had surprised expressions plastered on our faces.

"J.J.?" I sputtered.

The buck got out of his seat and looked me over, top to bottom, then replied. "Bro?"

We just stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, both slack jawed from disbelief. That ceased however, when we simultaneously ran to the other, reared up on our hind legs, hoof bumped one foreleg then the other, kept each other balanced on our two legs, and ended our ritual with a fast, but soft headbutt. Once we finished that, we stood shoulder to shoulder and laughed.

Yellow Jacket had watched the whole thing with her head cocked, unsure of what she just witnessed. "P.I." She said with a perplexed tone in her voice. "Is this your... brother?"

"Ha!" J.J. jested. "I might as well be!" He then nuggied my head with his hoof. When I forced his hoof off, he beamed a smile to Yellow. "The names Jackpot, Jackpot Jubilee. Me and--" He turned back to me. His face had a look that seemed as if he just caught me doing something embarrassing. "Did she just call you..." He stifled a laugh. "P.I.?"

I separated from J.J. then nervously scratched the back of my head. "And what if she did?"

He rolled his eyes enthusiastically. "Well I'd like to know why... Those aren't even your initials."

I readjusted my hat from J.J.'s nuggie. "It stands for...'Private Investigator'."

He slowly shook his head with a smile. "I see you're living that colthood dream of yours. But why the alias?" He leaned in. "Is this because of the debts?"

I averted my eyes as I responded with a relaxed tone. "Maybe..."

He lightly grinned. "Still trying to be as vague as ever I see."

Just as I was about to respond to that comment, Yellow cut me off. "Hello!? If he isn't your brother, then how do you know him?"

J.J. cracked a smile then turned to me. "Aw...you don't talk about me? Not even to your partner?"

I looked to Yellow, then back to J.J. "She's my assistant."

He tilted his head in a mockingly manner as he leaned in again. "Not what she said~."

I turned to my...'partner' and raised an eyebrow. She shrunk behind the desk with a nervous smile and a slight blush.

Jackpot then addressed Yellow. "As for who I am. Well, me and..." He tried to contain another laugh. "'P.I.', here go way back. We practically grew up together back in Friendship City." J.J. then jokingly punched my shoulder. "He was the little brother I never wanted but got stuck with anyway."

I rubbed my shoulder. "Funny...why are you here, Jackpot?"

"I came here looking for that detective on the radio; didn't think it was you though. I was a bit worried that this was the janitor's room when your partner opened up." Dammit Yellow, you and your Stable custodian utility barding... "Had to really ask around to find this place. Have you considered putting up more than one sign on the door?"

If I did that, it would make it easier for ponies like Chert and Reticle to find me...

"Why do you need a detective?" I asked.

Jackpot shook his head. "I don't. The guild sent me to hire you."

"Guild?" Yellow questioned.

J.J. looked to her, then blinked. "Oh. Since you're his partner, you might as well be in the know." He sat back down in the client chair. "I'm a member of the Prospector's Guild. We're a group of merchants and prospectors tha--"

"Don't you mean scavengers?" I jabbed as I stood next to the seated mare.

He rolled his eyes. "Wow, is that what you called yourself when you were one of us?"

I chuckled softly. "Matter of fact, I did."

He just snorted as he looked back to Yellow. "Anyway...the guild is a group of prospectors," his eyes darted to me as he spoke that last word, "who are established in Friendship City. Nearly every major settlement has its own division you see."

"Oh..." Yellow uttered as she scratched her cheek. "But, why do you guys need to organize together? I thought you were all in competition with each other."

The blue buck shrugged. "That is true, but the wasteland is a harsh place to those who aren't careful. The guild was created so that its members can assist one another when traveling, you know, safety in numbers and all that. Another use of the guild would be..." He rubbed his chin and looked up to the ceiling. "For example, let's say that I just found a really large stash of supplies somewhere. Normally a prospector would take what they can carry and leave the rest. When they return for what's left, they would find that it's been looted by other prospectors or ponies passing by. As a guild member, I on the other hoof would contact the guild about the stash; the guild would then send other members to the location, and we would take ALL of the supplies in one go, rather than some. The ones assisting get a cut, and I still profit when compared to what I would have gotten if I were alone."

"Oh." Yellow said as she nodded. "I get it now. So that's why you work together." She then turned to me. "And you were one of them?"

"Well..." I nervously scratched my nose as I scanned the room, looking for some way to change the subject. I really didn't want to talk about my past, but before I could tell her that, J.J. spoke up.

"Oh yeah. P.I.," ok, now he was just having fun at my expense, "was definitely a member. We both joined at the same time once we got old enough. He was really good at finding things out; competitor prices, uncovering where pre-war ponies stashed things we could sell, and guessing what it was a customer wanted to buy from us before they even got a word in." He pointed a hoof to me. "I swear, you give this buck the tiniest bit of info and he somehow finds out more from it!" I was starting to blush from this unwanted praise. Jackpot then lowered his head and slowly shook it. "But then one day, out of the blue, he asks some of the guild members for a loan, saying he wants to start his own business, then just leaves the guild." He raised his head from the floor to me. "I wasn't exactly sure what this business of yours was, I didn't get to find out when I heard that you left the city."

Well, gee... Now he's starting to make me feel guilty.

I rubbed the back of my neck and averted my eyes. "Yeeeah...sorry about that; being a detective in the city's slums meant that I didn't have the caps to pay back the guild members. I already spent the money on some crummy shack house office--which I'm pretty sure I got ripped off of, some supplies, a weapon, and basic combat barding. It was lucky me that I was given the offer to move to Tenpony; had just enough caps left over to get this little humble abode." I said as I waved a hoof from one wall to the other. "It was either move here, or get my kneecaps busted when the members came to collect...and I like my kneecaps..."

J.J. snickered. "I get ya, understand too. And some of them are looking for you, especially Chert and Reticle." He frowned. "I mean, did you have to get them upset too? You do remember that time Reticle shot that bloatsprite in the brain from a mile away with that rifle of hers?"

I shuddered as I recalled that. "Vividly."

He then crossed his forelegs and leaned back in his chair. "Lucky you, this job I have to offer might help you earn some caps to pay them back."

I was shocked. "You mean you won't tell the guild where I am?"

He waved a hoof dismissively. "Nah, I wouldn't do that to ya. As far as the guild knows, I'm just hiring the detective mentioned on the radio. They don't have to know that the detective is you."

I breathed a sigh of relief as I relaxed. "Phew...thanks bro." Now for business. "Why does the guild need a detective?"

His gaze shifted upwards. "Weeell, it's about the guild's newest assignment." He then shifted in his seat to get more comfortable. "Some of its members are currently in a town called Nor-bel."

"And this needs my help because...?" I gestured for him to continue.

"You see, Nor-bel used to be a small town before the war. After the bombs fell, every building in the place was thoroughly looted." He then raised a hoof. "All except for one house."

"What? How?" I questioned. "No way a building can go nearly two hundred years without being searched."

J.J. crossed his forelegs and slowly nodded with his eyes closed. "As tough as it is to believe, it's true."

"Uh...why?" Yellow asked nervously, possibly just wanting to throw her own hat into the conversation.

J.J.'s eyes shifted from Yellow, then to me. "It's because the locals think it's haunted..."

This time, I was the one to crack a smile. "Wait...you're not telling me that the guild wants me to," I suppressed a laugh, "look for ghosts?"

He quickly shook his head. "No no, of course not." He then cocked his head. "Do you remember Twofer and Mark Up?"

I scratched my chin as I tried to remember. "Uh...two unicorns in the guild...ten or so years older than us?"

He pointed his hoof to me. "Yup. Well, they were sent by the pony in charge of the operation to scout the place out." A slight frown formed on J.J.'s face. "They didn't come back."

Yellow then asked the same question I was about to. "Maybe they got spooked and ran off?"

Jackpot didn't seem to agree. "Maybe, but they would have returned to the town...or at least back to Friendship City. It's been two days now, and they're still missing."

"Ok...I understand now." Still standing, I put my forelegs on my desk. "You want me to find those two."

"Mm-hmm," J.J. nodded, "but you're going to have to do it discreetly."

I raised a brow. "Why?"

He answered. "The pony in charge is Pocket Slim. He's new to the guild, but a veteran when it comes to salvaging. He's also a bit of a hard ass, and doesn't care for Nor-bel's superstitions. It was he who made the decision to raid the place. Slim believes that the house is just a treasure trove of all kinds of goodies just waiting to be taken, and for all we know, he might be right; what with everypony being too scared to even approach the place. He thinks that Twofer and Mark Up just ran off with their tails between their legs. If he found out we sent him a detective instead of replacements for those two, he would bust a gut! So, the guild wants you to go assist him in the scavenging, but, also want you to find out where Twofer and Mark Up might have gone."

I looked to J.J. with a worried expression. "Is this really necessary? I mean, Pocket Slim can't be that bad."

His eyes widened while he shook his head. "Pocket is a dick...but he is very efficient at what he does. If he gets upset with the guild and decides to leave, it would be a major blow to us financially. We already possibly lost two, we don't want to make that three." His face relaxed. "Besides, everypony in that operation are new comers and won't know who you are; so no one is gonna hound you over the debt while you're there. The guild won't know it was you who assisted them, you make some caps, and I might be able to persuade some of the members to...forget about that debt you owe."

I looked at J.J.'s eyes with skepticism. "And how will you do that?"

"I've made a lot of strides in the guild since the last time you were there." Jackpot said as he nonchalantly wiped his shoulder of dust. "I'm in a position to help you out, if you help us out."

"Oh I know this!" Yellow shouted as she turned to me. "It's the 'you scratch my back, I scratch yours' deal."

I looked at her curiously. "Uh...yeah...I thought it was obvious..."

She huffed, rested her head on my desk with an irritated look in her eyes, then mumbled. "Just wanted to be a part of the conversation..." Clearly somepony was feeling left out.

"So..." J.J. said. "We got a deal?"

I didn't have to think too hard. As an ex-member, I knew that the guild had the caps, and with this case, nopony would harass me. It was just too perfect!

I acknowledged him with a nod. "Definitely." I then looked to Yellow and saw she was still in her glum. "What about you?" I asked as I poked Yellow's shoulder.

The mare raised her head and straightened up on my chair. She looked at me with slight confusion in her eyes. "Me?"

"Do you agree? You are my assistant after all, you're entitled to your own opinion."

That seemed to have cheered her up some as a smile appeared on her muzzle. "Damm right I agree! As your partner, I need to be there to save your flanks again!"

Yeeeah...you're still my assistant, but why bring you down now?

"Excellent!" J.J. then rubbed his front hooves together real quick. "Head to the front in an hour. My caravan's route goes through Nor-bel; you can travel with us on the way there." He then made it to the door, opened it, and waved to us before he left.

The second that door closed, almost as if on queue, Yellow's stomach growled.

"Oh right." She rubbed her belly. "Uh...you said you got me something, right?"

It took me two seconds before I remembered. "Oh! Right right." Using my mouth, I picked up the paper bag I dropped, placed it on the desk, and took out its contents.

"What is this?" Yellow asked as she stared at her breakfast. It seemed that when I dropped the bag, the plastic cup holding the chocolate milk had its seal knocked loose, resulting in the pancakes being drenched in the stuff.

"Oh Yellow, I'm sor--" My apology was cut short when Yellow cut me off.

"I think I know what these are. I've heard of these...are they...pancakes?" I swear, I saw her eyes light up as she inspected them with wonder.

Heard of pancakes? How strange was her Stable that pancakes were given mythical status? Whatever, P.I., just roll with it.

"Y-yeah, yeah. These are pancakes. Um...you enjoy them...and I'll take a nap in the bedroom for a half hour. Sound good?" I nodded quickly and rushed to the bedroom. "Kay bye!" I then hopped onto the bed, hoping that she wouldn't find out that they weren't supposed to be soggy like that...

* * *

Two hours later, all three of us were on the road heading to Nor-bel. We were accompanied by J.J.'s pack brahmin carrying wares, while ahead of it was a hired guard; he was a unicorn buck wearing leather barding and wielding a sub-machine gun.

Things had been silent for a while, until J.J. walked besides me and spoke. "So...uh...that partner of yours..."

I looked at him without turning my head. "What about her?"

He spoke as if he was carefully choosing his words. "Did you uh..." He made a clicking noise with his lips then continued. "Are you...you know..."

No, I don't know. "You're going to have to be more specific."

He looked ahead to where Yellow was, who was a meter away from us, then whispered just loud enough for me to hear. "How is she in the sack?"

I tripped and fell on my face the moment he finished that question. Yellow and the guard stopped and looked back because of the noise I made.

"You alright, P.I.?" Shouted Yellow.

With my face on the ground, I raised a foreleg and waved it. "Fine! Just fine!"

Yellow shrugged then continued alongside the guard. After J.J. finished giggling at me, he offered his hoof, which I reluctantly accepted.

After he pulled me up, we caught up to our original positions in the caravan. J.J. then looked sideways to me with a grin. "I'll take that as a no."

"Yellow...Yellow is just my assistant. There's nothing going on like in that dirty mind of yours."

"So what's the story behind you two then?"

Well, at least that was something I had no problem answering. "We just met a few days ago. I rescued her during one of my cases. She's been following me around since then."

He made an amused sigh. "Sounds like she's really grateful for the save. Maybe she made a personal little 'life debt' to you."

I couldn't help finding the humor in that assumption. "Ha! I doubt it's that. So far, the 'saving the other' score is two to one, and I'm the one!"

"Maybe she has a crush on you. Use those detective skills of yours and find out, then you should get at that flank."

I turned to him with a scowl on my face, he just winked back. "This again?" I sighed as I shook my head. "I remember when we were teenagers...you would always try to pressure me to just jump into bed with any young mare who happened to be around. I swear, you act as if that's the only purpose for mares to be on this planet." I lowered my head and mumbled. "Couldn't talk to that one shop owner without you saying something. "

He chortled. "Yeah. Good times. The way you are with ladies, you just make it so easy to tease you." His eyes were now forward. Tracing his eye sight, I noticed he was looking at Yellow's rear. Even though it was being covered by her barding, with the exception of a hole for her tail, I could still make out the form of her flanks; they were well toned and--dammit! I shook my head, then turned to J.J.; he saw me looking and had a wide smirk on his muzzle. "I'm just saying. If I were you, I'd do something about it, otherwise," he admired the view in front of him as he continued, "somepony else might take an interest."

I just rolled my eyes and kept walking. I wasn't the kind of stallion who thought of mares like that, and besides, I already had somepony who I liked. But I wouldn't tell Jackpot about Homage, otherwise he'd start instigating about her as well. Yellow was fine as a mare, but I knew next to nothing about her, other than her being Stable 73's janitor. There was also that incident with that Watcher character; it kinda hinted like she was hiding something... I mean, why me of all ponies to tag along with? She could have stayed in Woodtrot, or with Citrus even. Instead she chose to follow me. Was Jackpot right about her just being grateful, or was there something more?

...Of course, there was the possibility that there really was no hidden agenda and that I was merely over-thinking things.

* * *

"Here we are gentlecolts and filly!" Jackpot exclaimed as he waved his hoof over the sight before us. After several more hours of traveling and climbing up a slope, we finally spotted Nor-bel. Yellow and I were in desperate need for a breather; if Jackpot and the guard were also tired, they were doing a good job of not showing it. When night started to fall, J.J. had us continue our trek rather than stop and make camp. He wanted us to reach the town much sooner than I expected.

Before us, down the road in the distance, I could see several light sources coming from in front of, or inside the buildings of the town. Nor-bel seemed to be a small town similar to Woodtrot, the difference being nopony constructed a barricade around it.

With the town being a couple more minutes away, Yellow and I had pushed on with renewed vigor. One fourth of the way through, almost like a firefly on Dash, a bullet whizzed by, followed by the thunderous crack of a rifle.

Immediately, all of us ran behind the nearest cover that was available to us; a large billboard by the side of the road that bore the image of a middle aged pink mare with unblinking eyes and the largest smile I've seen... It was rundown, having multiple gaps in it, making most of the message on it illegible, but what I could read as I ran to it spelled out: 'Pink........watching you!' It didn't take a genius to figure out that the sign was one of the Ministry of Morale's attempts to...well...raise morale...I guess, by plastering the face of Pinkie Pie, the mare in charge of that ministry. Creepiness factor aside, the large flat surface held up well against the few bullets that impacted against it, failing to penetrate. When the shots stopped, the sound of a dozen or so ponies could be heard charging in our direction. Judging from the sound of mad laughter and howling, it could only have been--

"Raiders!" Jackpot shouted as he prepared his battle saddle by flipping a switch attached to it that caused the mouth-bit to spring near his mouth while it loaded rounds into the rifle attached to his side. Looking to the sign (Oh crap...Pinkie looks like she is just staring down at me specifically!) I saw a whole slew of red markers on my E.F.S.; confirming what I feared.

"Yellow!" I yelled as I turned to her. She seemed shaken, unsure of what was going on. "Take out your gun! We're about to be hit! If they shoot at us, you shoot back!" The amber mare nervously nodded, then placed the weapon in her mouth. I risked a quick peek though one of the sign's window like gaps and saw the approaching raiders. There were over a dozen filthy looking ponies who wore slapped together barding composed of spikes, chains, the died hide of other ponies, and the occasional skull. All of them were carrying weapons of some kind; mostly knives and clubs, but a majority of them had shoddy rifles and pistols. They were all coming from somewhere off the side of the road, rather than the town itself, and would be on us any minute! Turning to Jackpot, I saw he was also viewing them; we then looked to one another and shouted the exact same words in unison.

"Fort Maneuver!"

We then broke off; Jackpot running to the right side of the sign, and I to the left. "Yellow, with me!" I shouted as I past her. Reaching the end, I instructed Yellow to stand by one of the gaps. "When I tell you, I want you to start firing." Once she was in position, I stood behind the left end of the billboard, then looked down the opposite end. J.J. and the guard were mirroring us. Now that all of us were in place, I raised a hoof in the air then made a circular motion. Observing that, Jackpot nodded, then leaned out of the billboard and started firing at the raiders.

The raiders yelled obscenities as they went behind rocks and metal piles of slag that were once chariots; those foolish enough to keep advancing were struck down by J.J. A click signified that Jackpot's rifle was out of ammo, the second he went back to cover, the guard started firing through the sign's niche. The raiders retaliated by firing around their own cover.

"Yellow! Now!" I yelled, it took her a second to comprehend my meaning, then she leaned to the hole by her side and returned fire. She moved back when some bullets peppered the wood and metal, kicking up splinters of wood into her mane. Yellow and the guard repeated this until they both had to reload. The guard effortlessly reloaded his sub-machine gun, while Yellow had difficulty sliding the magazine into her gun with both hooves. Once she succeeded, Yellow readied herself to return fire, however, I gestured for her to stop. I pulled out Conversationalist, leaned out, and made carefully precise shots at the raiders. The slight recoil caused Conversationalist to intensely vibrate against my teeth with each shot.

What we were doing is what J.J. and I called: The fort maneuver. It was a strategy we both came up with back in our guild days. The idea was for us to keep the raiders from advancing on us by keeping them pinned. We would take turns firing while the others reloaded. This way we wouldn't blow though all our ammo in one go and allow the raiders to get closer as we reloaded. While one of us would apply the pressure on them, the others would wait for a raider to expose themselves, then take the shot before they started shooting at us.

We continued this for several minutes and neither side was winning. I was able to take down one raider with S.A.T.S. guided rounds, but it hadn't made much of a difference since they still greatly outnumbered us. If this kept up, we would eventually all run out of ammo and the raiders would surely kill us! Or worse!

Suddenly, a loud hissing sound, almost like that of fireworks, came from the direction of the town. Peeking around the billboard, I saw a red ball of flame was spiraling skywards in our direction. The second it was over us, it flashed into an even bigger ball, illuminating everything around us in crimson as it made a gradual decent.

"Fuck!" "Shit!" "Let's get the fuck out of here!" Yelled the raiders as they ignored us and retreated back to where they came from, leaving their dead where they laid. With the flare above us, everything out of the light's range was pitch black to us. However, thanks to my PipBuck, I saw numerous green markers pop up on my E.F.S. as the red ones vanished one by one.

Seconds later, armed ponies emerged from the darkness. From the lack of raider attire and the fact that they came from down the road, they were obviously townsfolk from Nor-bel.

"Anypony still alive!?" Shouted one of them as they searched among the dead few.

"Yeah!" Jackpot replied after he finished downing a healing potion to mend some graze wounds he suffered during our ordeal. The flare weakened, then died as we all walked around the sign to approach our saviors.

* * *

Our rescuers escorted us the rest of the way to Nor-bel where other ponies were waiting. Jackpot seemed to have recognized one of them as he approached.

"Pocket Slim..." J.J. said in a formal business like tone.

The stallion responded with a guttural voice. "Jackpot..."

So this was Pocket Slim. He was an older stallion, around his late forties; a unicorn with an indigo coat and dark orange mane, sporting a mid-length beard that was the same color as his mane, and a cutie mark showing a freshly dug hole in the ground unearthing a horde of dirt covered gold bits. He wore a beige shady hat and a camouflage poncho.

"Good to see that you survived that ambush." Slim said coldly. "Would have hated to make another call to the guild."

J.J. sarcastically replied. "Glad to hear you're so worried about my well-being." He then gestured down the road to where we were minutes ago. "What was up with that?"

The older stallion's eyes went to the road, then back to Jackpot. "A gang of raiders recently moved into the area. The town ponies don't know where they're set up, but they've been attacking travelers trying to enter the town. Luckily, they won't dare attack the town itself," he looked at our escorts as they left us, "they probably know they don't have the weapons and ponies to raid the place proper." Slim then turned to where Yellow and I had collapsed on the asphalt, pooped from our journey and gunfight. "These the replacements?"

J.J. nodded. "The mare is Yellow Jacket, and the buck is--"

"Lucky!" I managed to shout through my wheezing. "Lucky...Horseshoe..."

The reason I was using that name again is because I feared on the off-chance that Slim Pocket had heard my real name before and my situation with some of of the guild members.

J.J. caught on quick and played along. "Yeah, Lucky..."

Pocket stroked his beard as he stared at Yellow and I, almost as if he were evaluating us. "They seem a little green."

"Green?" Yellow balked. "Uh, dude...I'm like...yellow-ish." She tiredly pointed to me. "He's green."

Oh Celestia, if I wasn't so tired, I would have laughed harder than a weak chuckle. Despite the exhaustion, I took the time to explain to her. "He doesn't mean the color green...he means green as in 'inexperienced'."

Slim didn't seem amused as he looked to her with a straight face. "She's not the sharpest tool in the shed...is she?" I just shrugged as I continued to lay on my stomach. "No matter; any moron can search a house."

It was obvious by the look on her face that Yellow was offended, heck, I was offended for her! That was a little uncalled for. Sure Yellow was a bit ignorant when it came to certain things, but that was because of her sheltered life from living in a Stable. It was excusable why some things simply flew right over her head.

"Listen buddy! I--" I quickly shut her mouth with my hoof.

"I assure you, Mr. Slim." I said hesitantly. "We've done our fair share of jobs like this." Well...I have. "Yellow and I know the ropes and won't let you down." I winced a little as Yellow bit my hoof. Regardless, I maintained my ass kissing smile.

He nodded as he still stroked that beard of his. "You better not. I already had two do that earlier, and they ran off like scared little school fillies somewhere. Hope you two are made of sturdier stuff."

"Scared off?" I questioned. I already knew what possibly scared them off, but I wanted to hear Slim's side.

"The guild didn't tell you when they sent you?" I shook my head to Slim's question. He then gestured to somewhere right on the outskirt of the town. "Sent two ponies earlier to explore that place."

Following his hoof, I saw a wall made of stone that encircled a small forest of dead trees; jutting out from the center of it was a large two story mansion. Releasing Yellow's mouth and getting up to stand on my protesting legs, I got a better look and could see why somepony would think it was haunted.

It looked like something out of an old horror vid! What with its gothic architecture, dead vines running up its brickwork walls, shattered windows (complete with decrepit shutters), statues of griffins on the roof, and to top it all off, the front door and two of the windows made the house look as if it had an angry face. If it wasn't mandatory for me to go in there and look for clues leading to Twofer and Mark Up's location, I would never ever step foot in there.

Slim noticed the slight hesitation on my face. "You aren't going coward on me now, are you boy? Ya seem to be shakin' a bit there."

Great...another pony who refereed to me as 'boy'. "N-no." I said in a much lower pitch than I wanted. I coughed, trying to convince him that it was just a dry throat. "Just tired from the trip."

He then pointed to a building a block away from where we were. "I rented out that hotel for the ponies on salvage detail; you and your friend should go and rest up."

"Thanks." I replied while I took Yellow's hoof and pulled her up. The idea of a little downtime made Yellow and I enthusiastic.

However, both our ears drooped when Slim continued.

"You got thirty minutes till we start the salvage operation. Better make the most of it."

* * *

"Thirty minutes!?" Yellow exclaimed. We had just entered our room in the hotel were Yellow jumped on the bed and yelled at the ceiling while I sat on the couch rubbing my legs, Jackpot had followed us in here and sat across from me. "The hell is that guy's problem!? He knows we were in danger minutes ago, and he only gives us thirty!?"

"Yeeeah," Jackpot said slyly, "remember when I said 'total dick'?"

"And he called me an idiot!" Yellow then raised her forehooves and had them inches away from each other. "I was this close to knocking his lights out!"

I removed my hat and patted some dust off of it. "He called you a moron, but that's besides the point." I looked to Jackpot. "You sure Twofer and Mark Up didn't get fed up with Slim and just ditched him?" I said, half hoping for that to be the case.

"Hopefully." Said the cap wearing stallion. "That's what you're here to find out."

I leaned back on the couch, staring at the ceiling as my head rested against the wall. I really hoped this case would be as simple as that if it meant I had to be taking orders from Slim during this investigation.

It was then I felt a void in my stomach, reminding me that we barely ate on the road.

With a grunt, I got up and went to the room's entrance. "I'm gonna see if this place has room service or something." Still looking at the ceiling, Yellow just raised a hoof and lazily waved me away, while Jackpot did the same.

Walking into the hotel's lobby, I stood in-font of the check-in desk where a middle aged unicorn mare was on duty, waiting for other potential guests to arrive. After asking if the place had any food for us, the mare told me that the hotel had a kitchen and would tell the cook to whip us up something.

"So," the mare said, "I'll make sure the cook prepares your meal to the highest standard of taste. What with this being you and your friends' last meal and all."

Aghast was my reaction after hearing that from the desk pony. "Excuse me?"

"You're with those scavengers who are about to raid the old Horror house, right?"

I never heard the name before, but I could assume that was what the creepy mansion from earlier was called.

I quizzically nodded. "And why does that warrant us a last meal?"

The mare lightheartedly chuckled. "You're not the first bunch to try and loot that horrid place. That house has a reputation around here for causing those brave or stupid enough to enter...to disappear."

I cracked a small smile. "Is this because the mansion is allegedly haunted?"

The receptionist cocked her head in surprise. "Oh, so you have heard some of the rumors!"

"Not really..." I scratched my mane. "Any idea why everypony here thinks it is?"

She leaned in, her forelegs crossed over the desk. "Other than everypony hanging around there going poof! Back before the bombs, the original owner one day snapped! Then killed everypony else living there. They say that even to this day, the spirits of those who were murdered still reside there, punishing those who disturb their resting place."

"What!?" A different mare hollered as she approached us while pushing a food cart down the hallway. "That's not why it's haunted! It's because the manor was built over an ancient buffalo burial ground! Everypony knows that!"

Then a third mare showed up, this one with a feather duster and cleaning supplies held in her magic. "That place used to be an asylum and was condemned after the patients escaped their cells and killed all the doctors!"

The three hotel mares then got into an argument over the house's origins, with me stuck in the middle of it all. Their stories even changed as they continued to disagree; all kinds of theories were thrown around, ranging from the owner making pacts with Tartarus, ghosts of those who tried to seek shelter in the house when the bombs fell, to even the spirit of Nightmare Moon currently living there! One thing was for sure, it seemed that nopony really knew what the house was before it was known for its vanishing acts.

A minute later, I was entering our room. Yellow and Jackpot both raised their heads and looked to me.

"We getting something?" Yellow asked.

As I closed the door behind me, I could still hear the three mares in the middle of their quarrel.

"I-it'll come...eventually...maybe..."

* * *

Luckily, the food did arrive and we treated ourselves to it before we had to meet up with Slim in front of the stone wall's iron wrought gates. The gates were left ajar and opened to a stone pavement trail cutting through the dead forest and leading straight to the manor. On that trail by the entrance, Slim and four other ponies were there to greet us. They were two mares and two stallions; the bucks were attached to wagons.

"Ah," Slim said, "you're finally here. Now we can start." Then he and the other ponies walked through the gates and towards the house.

Yellow and I shrugged as we stepped through the gates.

Jackpot then spoke. "Well, I guess this is where you and I say our goodbyes for now."

I turned back. "You're not gonna help with the scavenging?"

"No, I'm going back to the hotel to rest for the night. Gonna continue my route first thing in the morning."

"So you just came here to see us off?"

He nodded once. "Pretty much. If you live through this and find out where those two are, I'll send somepony to the tower with your caps."

"Alright man, thanks." I then offered my hoof to him, which he bumped with his own.

Jackpot then turned around and walked back to the town. "See you later, Yellow, ...P.I.! Don't let the ghosties get ya!"

"Will do!" Yellow shouted while waving to the departing stallion.

"Ha!" I retorted. "We all know they don't exist! Now that you know where I live, come see me when you have the time!" He just raised his hoof in the air as he walked away.

My assistant and I caught up with the others, then followed from the rear.

A few steps through the gates, Yellow spoke. "Hey, uh...P.I."

I cast a curious glace to my assistant. "Yeah?"

"Well...it's just that...well, something that Jackpot said back in the tower had me thinking."

"Ok, uh...shoot."

"Well," she leaned closer to me as she spoke, "what is your name. I mean, Jackpot himself asked why you call yourself 'P.I.'; got me curious."

Oh no. And here I hoped she either didn't pick that up or just forgot.

My eyes darted left to right then back again. "I'd...rather not tell you."

She scoffed. "And why not?! I mean, now that I know that P.I. isn't your name, I kinda feel weird calling you by two letters!"

I looked away. "Trust me. If I were in a better situation, I'd tell you. But right now, I fear that if I do, you might accidentally call me by it and somepony who I really hope isn't looking for me, might track me down easier." I looked back at her and saw that my answer clearly agitated her. I nervously smiled. "Still, I'd rather not risk it. You'd...be surprised how quick word can get around. So for now, P.I. is fine."

She scowled and quickly looked forward with a humph as we made our way to the mansion.

Halfway down the trail, I felt something land on my muzzle. A second later, I felt it again, this time followed by another. I then noticed that the feeling was caused by drops of water, rapidly falling from the sky. It started off with a sprinkle, then quickly escalated to a downpour.

"Fucking pegasi!" Slim yelled as he looked upwards towards the cloud layer.

"Huh?" Yellow uttered as she turned to me. "Now that I think about it...where are the pegasus-es...es? I've seen nothing but earth ponies and unicorns."

"It's pegasi." I corrected. "And the reason you haven't seen any is because...well, it's a little complicated." Complicated as in, 'I only know the gist of it'. As we walked, I shouted over the rain to Yellow, telling her what I knew about the pegasi.

I told her that when bombs fell, Cloudsdayle: the pegasus capital, was the first to be hit. As the rest of Equestria was burning, the remaining pegasi fled to the skies and sealed it off with the same cloud layer that was currently raining over us; Equestira hasn't seen the sun since then. I mentioned rumors about what's over the clouds, told by the very few and rare pegasi that came to the wasteland. That part actually reminded me of one I saw a few weeks back, wearing a black desperado hat while flying over a caravan, guarding it. I also spoke of the hate wastelanders have for the pegasi. The ponies living beneath the clouds saw them as the ones who abandoned Equestria, and denied them the loving light of Celestia's sun.

"What about you?" Yellow questioned. "Do you hate them?" She walked besides me, waiting for my response.

I looked ahead; the water caused the parts of my mane that weren't covered by my hat to droop. Taking a deep breath, I noticed the smell of petrichor was starting to waft in the cold breeze.

"I don't really care for the layer. As much as I'd like to see the sun, I still find the rain...relaxing." I hoped that was enough to answer her question.

Yellow just looked at me, her face scrunched up, unable to comprehend my meaning. "What?"

"Never mind." I said as I shook my head and picked up the pace.

* * *

We arrived at the mansion's door where thankfully, there was a balcony overhead, shielding us from the rain. The two stallions joined us after they detached themselves from the wagons and left them by the entrance.

"Alright!" Slim proclaimed. "Because of the storm, we might have to spend the night here. Till then, we search the place top to bottom, fill the wagons with what we can. Other members will arrive in the morning and continue were we left off. Is that understood?" All six of us silently nodded. "Very well then. Follow me."

Slim opened the door and walked in with the rest of us following in a single file line. When it was my turn to enter, I noticed two short scratch marks on the flooring; they were running parallel to each other, coming from the bottom of the door frame.

I really hoped that was just caused by some furniture being moved around...

The other ponies were already setting up floodlights that they unloaded from the wagons.

"Whoa." Was Yellow's reaction when the lights turned on. 'Whoa' was right. The mansion's entrance, back in its heyday, would have been a rival to Tenpony's lobby. We were greeted to a large foyer with black and white checkerboard pattern tiles, two sets of stairs leading to the second floor, a chandelier, wooden stands along the walls with busts on them, and velvet couches by the stairs. Nearly everything was coated in a thin layer of dust, the walls were covered in yellowed paint that was starting to peel, along with paintings that Ribbon Cutter might have an interest in. There were multiple doors and hallways to choose from, and I suspected that the reason nopony ever came back, was because they just got lost in here.

"Alright. Here's the plan." Slim said as he pointed to one of the stallions and mares. "You two will set up the lights in the other rooms," he pointed to the other two, "you'll search for what you can here and the neighboring rooms." He then pointed to Yellow and me. "And as for you two; I want you and 'Stable pony' there to explore the mansion." I'm starting to suspect he never bothered to learn anyones' name here... "I see you have a PipBuck, so it should give us a map of the place once you explore."

"Just walk around huh? Yeah, we can do that." Yellow said confidently.

Slim responded. "You better. And I don't want you two running off like my first two scouts. I don't care if you do see a ghost! You leave me short-hoofed, and you'll be more afraid of me than it."

I nodded while Yellow feigned a salute. Shortly after picking a hallway to begin our mansion tour, Yellow made a bad imitation of Slim's orders. I didn't know whether it was a good thing, or a bad thing, that we were splitting up from the others. I mean, I've seen and read enough horror stories to know that was a definite no no, but then again, this way made it easier for me to look for any leads relating to Twofer and Mark Up.

A minute later into our expedition, I halted to a stop. Yellow did so as well, puzzled as to why I did so.

"What's wrong, P.I.?" She whispered.

I shushed her, then bit Conversationalist's mouthpiece, and pulled it from its holster. Yellow hesitantly did the same. I turned to her, brought a hoof to my eye level, then pointed to a door ahead where I saw two green bars on my E.F.S. We slowly walked to the door, then I put my hoof to the knob, turned it, and swiftly opened it.

"Fwaa!" Shouted Yellow. Her scream muffled by the gun held in her mouth.

What provoked Yellow to jump in fear was caused by two rats, scurrying away from the broom closet they were hiding in when the door was swung open.

With a grin, I re-holstered Conversationalist. "It's just rats."

Yellow also put her gun away, trying to regain that fearless demeanor of hers. "I...I knew that...j-just a war cry."

I rolled my eyes with a smirk. Turning my head, I spotted several other hits on my E.F.S; the place must be infested with rodents... I turned on my PipBuck light to ward away the darkness, then looked down the hallway. All I could see were more stands with small statues on top, and oh-so-many more doors. The sound of rain landing against the windows was constantly present.

I reached the nearest door. "Come on. We have to start somewhere."

Yellow and I entered the room; the light on my foreleg gave the room a green aura, making it visible to us, and by the looks of it, it was a small guest room. The only furniture this room had was a chair, a nightstand, a small round table, and one of those queen sized beds that has its own curtains. Other than the dust, this room would have been in perfect condition if it wasn't for one thing; one of the walls had a section of its drywall missing, exposing the pipes and wires within.

As Yellow searched the nightstand, I took a closer look at the wall. A perfect square was cut into it, and I could see that somepony was in the middle of harvesting the metals and wiring behind it, but then just stopped. Could this have been done by Twofer and Mark Up?

"Hey!" Yellow complained as I brought my PipBuck's light closer to the wall. I wiped my hoof on the bottom of the cut, then brought it over the light. Yep...dust...a whole lot of it. This wasn't done by them, this was too much dust to have collected over the lip of the bottom incision in such a short amount of time.

"Oh shit!" Yellow shouted as she backed away from the bed. "P.I.!"

"You didn't find another rat, did you?" I said with amusement. She frowned while shaking her head, then pointed under the bed. I lowered my head and looked beneath the bed, where I saw nothing but darkness. "Yellow, I don't see an--" I was saying before I shined my light under the bed, where a skull materialized from the shadows to greet me, causing me to jump back in the same manner Yellow did. "The fuck!"

After waiting for my heartbeat to slow, I looked again. Under the bed was the skeletal remains of a unicorn; wasteland barding was draped over the bones, and judging from the box-cutter near it, this pony was the one who cut the wall open. Yellow watched nervously as I cautiously moved the barding, revealing empty cans of food and water bottles besides it... Did this pony starve here? What reason did this pony have that caused it to hide under the bed and never come out?

"P.I..." My assistant anxiously said. "L-let's just go to the other rooms..."

I couldn't agree more; we then went to the door leading back to the hallway. Yellow went before me, and right when I was about to follow, I heard the sound of something scraping on the floor behind me. I immediately turned around and saw that the skull was now peeking out from under the bed; its empty eye sockets watching me. I stared at it as I closed the door behind me, silently hoping that it was just moved by some rats...

* * *

Yellow and I found more guest rooms similar to the first one, thankfully, they weren't inhabited by more skeletons. A half hour of searching them got us no leads, and the storm outside was only getting worse. The downpour got more intense and the wind howled as it picked up. A couple times, Yellow and me jumped when a dead tree pushed against a window; the occasional lightning strike didn't lighten the mood as it made the tree's silhouette appear like that of a tall, clawed figure trying to break in. My heartbeat was accelerating as paranoia was starting to seep in; I felt like we were being watched... Despite this, we both tired to remain calm, knowing full well that if one of us were to freak out, the other would follow.

To keep our minds from wondering, I tried to make small talk while we walked to the one door in this hallway we haven't tried yet. "So...uh." I faked a grin. "You, uh...heh...scared?"

"Me?" Yellow Jacket nervously laughed while puffing up her chest, trying to give off a false sense of bravado. "Pfft. As if! This place is more dirty than scary. I've seen more ghosts in that bedroom of yours."

Really glad J.J. wasn't here. He would have jumped to conclusions if he heard her say that.

"Yeah." I halfheartedly chuckled. "This place isn't scary at all. Besides, we all know there's no such thing as ghosts."

Another flash of lightning stuck outside the windows. Once the following thunder died down, Yellow's response sounded more like a whimper. "Mm-hmm."

Stopping at the door, I placed a hoof on it, then looked back to Yellow. "Lets just finish this room, then we'll go back to the others for a bit...sound good?" She quickly nodded.

Entering the room, the glow from my PipBuck revealed it to be a study. There were bookshelves lined up along the walls, a rug leading from the door to the other side of the room where a desk resided, and besides that was a globe the size of a beach ball. Going up to the bookshelves, I made a quick scan and was disappointing to see no Daring Do or Detective Pretext books to add to my collection; instead they were all about history, biology, and magical theories.

"Uh, P.I." Yellow said from behind the desk.

I spoke as I skimmed through a book. "Please tell me you didn't find another skeleton..."

"I didn't find another skeleton..." She said monotonously. "Just come here!"

I slammed the book shut, resulting in dust being shot airborne; I held my breath in order to avoid breathing it in, then walked over to Yellow who was standing across from me, behind the sole desk. "Alright, Yellow...what did you find?"

Smiling and without breaking eye contact, she tapped something under the desk; it sounded metallic. Walking around it and standing besides Yellow, I shone my light into the desk's crevice where I found a floor safe.

I felt a little giddy inside; it was every scavengers' dream to find an unopened safe, possibly full of pre-war bits. Wait...no, not a scavenger anymore; I'm a detective now! Then again...there...might be something useful inside it. I unhooked my saddlebags, opened them, then searched each one. Seconds later, I pulled out a screwdriver, along with a bobby-pin.

I held the screwdriver in my mouth and the pin carefully held in my hoof, then placed them both in the safe's keyhole. Yellow watched me, completely perplexed as to what I was doing. After using them to slide the tumblers into place, the safe made a satisfying click as it unlocked.

"You can do that?" Yellow pointed to the tools in my mouth. "With those?"

I spat the lock-picking implements back in my bags, then smiled at her. "The more you know!~"

"Funny. Just grab whatever's in there, and lets go."

"Yeah yeah." I grabbed the safe's latch and pulled it open. I expected to find bits or gems, but instead I found something else entirely.

"Is that a...crown?" Yellow asked.

I raised the item in question before her. It looked like a metal circlet with a round slot in the center of the headpiece. "It's more of a circlet... This here is a recollector."

I then explained to her that recollectors were devices invented during the war that gave the wearer the ability to view and experience memories through the eyes of another pony. They could also be used to record memories for future viewing. The recollector itself wasn't what provided the memories, that job was for memory orbs. Speaking of which, I pulled one out from the safe that happened to have been next to the recollector. Memory orbs looked like white pearls that were big enough to fit in the recolletor's slot; these were the things that truly held the memory. Unicorns could naturally view an orb without the need of a recollector, since they could just access them with their magic. Each orb could only hold one memory at a time, and pre-war ponies would have more than one in order to re-live moments like birthdays, holidays, or moments with special someponies. The reason I knew all this was because, back when I was a guild member, I found one just like now. I used mine to see Equestria back before it was destroyed by balefire. The thing was great! Most of the memory orbs I found for it were of somepony watching several movies in theaters, allowing me to watch them as well! I think there was a law back then about selling memory orbs like that or something, but heck if I care! Doubt whatever ministry that implemented that law is gonna track me down two hundred years later just to fine me. Sadly, I had to sell mine when I started my detective business; haven't seen a movie since...

Yellow was practically pacing on the spot, clearly eager to leave this room. "Cool cool, can we go now?"

I shared that sentiment with her; I could feel the number of imaginary eyes watching us increase. I put the recollector and the orb in my bags, then we made for the door. Halfway to it, the sound of something squeaking, similar to that of a rusty wheel, came from behind us. Yellow and I stopped, then looked to each other. With trepidation we turned around and saw that the globe was lazily spinning on its axis, as if someone just slapped it casually.

We then exited the room and started our walk to the other end of the hallway. We started at our regular pace, which turned into a power walk, then jog, and finally a mad dash to the other end! I felt so sure that we were being followed by something; the feeling I had as we ran was similar to that experience you had as a foal where you would turn off all the lights in the house, then sprint all the way to your room, as if there was something in the darkness chasing you, only multiply that by a factor of like...twenty!

We basically tackled the door open as we made it back to the foyer; the two ponies still setting up the lights were startled by our sudden intrusion. Holding the door open, ready to slam it shut, I dared to look back into the hallway.

Nothing... There was nothing behind us. No ghosts. No demons. Absolutely nothing... I closed the door and leaned against it as I slid to the floor, hyperventilating and heart pounding from running through the entire hallway. Maybe it was just our overactive imaginations playing tricks on us.

I hope...

"What's gotten into you two?" Said the mare fiddling with a floodlight's wires.

"Nothing." I took a couple breathes. "We're just...still winded from the journey here."

"Let me guess." The other stallion said. "Slim didn't give you enough time to properly rest?"

Breathing as raggedly as me, Yellow plopped to the floor. "Pretty much...where is Slim?"

"Oh, he's with the other two right now, somewhere in the mansion." The mare stated. "Glad he's their problem now, and not ours." She looked up at us from the jumble of wires she was untangling. "Why don't you guys take a breather for a couple minutes? He shouldn't be back for a while, and you can get back to the exploration before he shows up again."

With my back still on the door, I looked to Yellow who returned the look. The prospect of a little break rest made both of us smile a little--and total not because the house was making us feel uneasy, and the idea of not searching it for a few minutes was extremely tempting. Nope! We're just tired! Yup, that's it!

We both walked over to the couches by the stairs and climbed onto them. We then laid flat on our separate sofas while Yellow tried to get whatever shut eye she could. Me? I wasn't sleepy; I didn't want to spend my break staring at nothing, and I did know of one way to entertain myself. Unzipping my bags, I took out the recollector and memory orb, removed my hat, placed the device on my head, then fitted the orb in the metal circlet's slot.

I could tell the recollector was working, as all my senses began to waver and the world around me seemed as if it were melting away.

oooOOOooo

Once my senses returned, the first thing I noticed was that I was no longer myself...in the physical way. Instead, I found myself to be in somepony else's body. Before me was a mirror, and staring back at me was a unicorn stallion in his early thirties; he had green eyes that matched with his green coat, and a short dark gray mane and tail. He was wearing a comfortable red wool sweater and was in the middle of combing his mane, possibly preparing himself for some occasion.

Reflected on the mirror, a door opened and an older unicorn stallion dressed in a very formal looking black suit entered. His cutie mark was that of a silver serving tray.

"Excuse me, Sir." The older stallion said in a very professional manner.

The pony whose body I was riding in didn't turn around, and instead spoke to the stallion's reflection. "Yes, Bitworth?"

The older stallion whose name I now knew as Bitworth, promptly responded. "I've finished preparing it. Shall I bring it up the mistress?"

Lifting the comb in his magic, my host used it to further straighten his hair, then set it down and moved his head in different directions; all while keeping an eye on his mane, appraising it from different angles. Satisfied, he turned to the sharply dressed stallion. "Oh wow. That was quicker than I expected; you truly are the best of butlers."

Bitworth lowered his head. "Your words are too kind, Sir. As for the..."

"Oh, right. Umm..." My host brought a hoof to my-- er, his chin and tapped it several times. "Bring it in two...no, three minutes. Got to get the timing just right."

Bitworth spoke as he backed out of the room while bowing. "Of course, Master Harrow."

Harrow? I guess this was the pony who owned the place. After all, the mansion was called 'The Horror House'. I could see how it could go from 'Harrow' to 'Horror' over the course of two centuries. From all the rumors, I was expecting him to be some old and craven looking stallion with like, a missing eye or something! But instead, he seems like an ordinary guy to me.

Harrow turned back to the mirror that I now noticed was attached to a dresser; on it was grooming tools, cologne, and a framed picture. He picked up said frame with his magic; in it was a black and white photograph of a younger looking Harrow, blushing as an earth pony mare around his age surprised him with a kiss. Something was written in lipstick on the bottom-right corner of the picture.

I love you, Harrow. Always and forever~

On the bottom of that was where she signed it with a kiss. I could feel Harrow's eyes getting moist as he gently stroked the mare in the photo.

He sighed before he muttered. "Cherish... I wish you were here to see this..." He put the picture back on the dresser, then lightly slapped his cheeks and forced a smile. "Alright, showtime!"

He exited the room and walked down the mansion's halls. Ok, this place definitely rivaled Tenpony in terms of fanciness! Nothing was caked in dust and all the curtains were open, allowing strong natural sunlight into the mansion. This place also didn't give off the whole unsettling-creepy-being watched vibe I felt before. Harrow looked through the windows as he walked. Outside, I could see that the mini-forest that surrounded the house was lush and green, unlike the dead burned-up version I saw earlier. Over the treeline I spotted Nor-bel and all its pre-balefire glory; I could make out the forms of ponies in the distance, either walking to their destination, or flying to and fro. Harrow broke into a smile, possibly over this fine looking day.

He stopped in front of a door that had floral stickers evenly spaced around the bottom half; a foal's giggle could be heard from behind it. Harrow placed his ear to the door, where the sound of the foal's laughter made him break into an even bigger smile. He then turned the doorknob, and slowly opened the door.

"Jewel Gift." He said.

With the door now open, the first thing he saw was a doll falling from midair. Before it hit the ground, it was caught by a young earth pony filly; she was light gray with a flame-orange mane and tail, dark freckles underneath her orange eyes, and had no cutie mark.

"Daddy!" The filly smiled. "You scared us!"

Us? All I could see was the filly and nopony else.

"Jewel..." Harrow said trying to sound stern but with a hint of playfulness in his tone. "You remember what I said about throwing your dolls around like that?"

Jewel squeezed the doll held in her grasp, her face looking as if she couldn't keep a juicy secret any longer. "It wasn't me daddy!"

"Let me guess. It was your 'friends' again." She nodded. "You know...I find it kind of strange that I never see these 'friends'."

She giggled. "That's because they are hiding!"

Harrow shook his head with a smile as he walked up to the filly, picked her up with his hooves, then wrapped them around her as he hugged her. The filly laughed as she was being nuzzled by her father.

She squealed in delight. "Stop it, daddy!"

Harrow put her down, then looked around the room. It was similar to the guestrooms I saw earlier, only this one being bigger with a pink queen sized bed, a toy box by the foot of it, a mountain of stuffed animals piled against on one of the room's corners, and a small table made for foals' tea parties. I couldn't help but notice that all the plastic teacups were already on saucers in front of the small pulled out chairs.

Jewel beamed as she looked up to her father's eyes. "Why are you acting so weird, daddy?"

"Weird?" He ruffled her mane then walked over to the small table, moved the mini-seat out of the way, and sat on the floor facing the tea set. "Is it weird for a father to want to join his daughter's tea party?"

Jewel gasped with excitement, then quickly took a seat and served her father imaginary tea from the pink teapot. Harrow picked up both the saucer and the cup with his magic, then put the cup to his lips and sipped air.

"Mmm, that's good, but you know what would go great with this?"

"What?" Jewel asked.

"Cake!" Harrow said as he gestured to the door where Bitworth entered, levitating a silver tray carrying a birthday cake with five lit candles.

Bitworth placed the cake on the center of the small table as Jewel watched with glee. "Happy birthday, Madam."

Jewel hugged Bitworth's foreleg. "Thank you, Bitworth!" A small smile arose from the old stallion's mouth before he hugged her back.

"Hey hey! Is that cake?" Harrow turned to the doorway where the new voice came from. He spotted a blue coated earth pony with a brown mane. He seemed to be a few years younger than Harrow and had the image of a track hurdle on his flank.

Once Jewel saw the new stallion, she ran up to him and jumped into his embrace. "Uncle Trotter!"

"Wow, five years old already." Said Uncle Trotter. "Oh how big you're getting now!" Jewel giggled in response.

"Huh, I'm surprised you're still up." Harrow said with a grin to Trotter. "Bitworth told me you practically passed out drunk last night after you came home from having drinks with your marefriend."

Bitworth spoke as he set up the small table. "I had to carry him to his quarters."

Trotter released Jewel, then chuckled with a hint of embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his head. "Heh heh, I appreciate that, Bitworth." Then his face lit up as if he remembered something. "Oh! I almost forgot! This morning, somepony was knocking at the front door while Bitworth was busy doing something. I answered it, and saw it was somepony from the ministry of--"

"Trotter." Harrow interrupted. "Let's not talk about work right now." He looked to his daughter who was joyfully studying her cake. "It's my daughter's birthday after all."

Trotter raised his hooves defensively. "Whoa whoa whoa. Let me finish will ya?" Harrow became silent, then raised his eyebrows at Trotter. "Thank you. Anyway, it wasn't the M.A.S. who came a knockin'." Harrow cocked his head in confusion towards the earth pony stallion. "It was the M.O.P."

"The ministry of peace?" Harrow questioned. "Why did they show up?"

Once again, Trotter rubbed his head. "Eeh, I was a bit hung over, so I didn't pay that much attention. Something about a flock of...something--butterflies I think--was migrating through here. They said they're attracted to the garden in center of the mansion and that we're not allowed to interfere with them."

Harrow scratched his chin. "That's...a bit strange," he shrugged, "but ok."

"Speaking of ministries..." Spoke the butler as he pulled out a pink envelope from his coat pocket. "This arrived in the mail. It's from the ministry of morale."

"Oh no..." Harrow rubbed his temple. "And what do they want with me?"

Bitworth slowly shook his head. "Not you, Sir. It's addressed to Mistress Jewel."

He then floated the envelope to Jewel, who looked over both sides of it, then started to rip the top part off. Jewel pried it open and was surprised when confetti shot out from it. Jewel's joyful shriek obviously signified that she enjoyed that surprise. As the confetti rained down, the filly pulled out a note from the envelope and tired her best to read it.

"D-d...dea...r....dear."

Harrow reached over and tapped the envelope. "Would you like me to read that for you, honey?"

She put her hooves around the note and buried it in her chest as she shook her head. "No! I can do it!" She put the paper on the table and tried a second attempt. "De...ear. Dear...Jewe...l...dear Jewel Gi...Gif--" Frustrated, she slid the note over to Harrow. "Ok. You read."

Harrow lightly chuckled before he began to read aloud what was personally written in pink ink before him.

"Dear Jewel Gift.

It's your special day today, so I hope you have a super duper extra terrific funtabulous mega enjoyable fifth birthday! Have an extra slice of cake for me!

Sincerely, Ministry Mare of Morale, Pinkie Pie~

P.I.--I think she misspelled 'P.S.'--It's not a proper dining room bash if a window or two haven't been broken!"

Harrow repeated that last part to himself. "Dining room bash? What's that supposed to mean?"

Trotter waved his hoof dismissively. "Oh who cares! Everypony knows that pink mare has a couple screws loose!"

Harrow gave that some thought, then nodded. "Right, right." He looked to the melting candles on the cake, then to his daughter. "Jewel...why don't you blow out your candles and make a wish?"

The flame from the candles reflected off the filly's eyes as she contemplated on what to wish for. "I wish..."

Trotter cut her off. "Don't tell us! It won't come true if you do."

The filly looked to her uncle, then to Bitworth, and finally to her father. She closed her eyes and silently muttered to herself as if she were in prayer, then leaned in and blew out the candles.

"Happy Birthday!" All the adults shouted at once.

As Harrow yelled, his eyes were drawn to the stuffed animals piled against the room's corner. I could have sworn we saw something moving there, and even in this memory, the feeling of being watched returned...

oooOOOooo

When the memory ended and I returned to my own body, one word escaped my mouth.

"Ow..."

I opened my eyes and noticed that I was no longer in the same position when I entered the memory. My lower half was on the couch, while my front half was slumped on the floor. The recollector wasn't on my head anymore, and was instead a few feet away from me.

Getting up, I held my side when pain flared from it. Was I bruised? Putting my hat back on and placing the recollector back in my bags, I noticed that Yellow and the other two ponies were nowhere to be seen.

"Hello?" My voice slightly echoed around the foyer. "Where is everypony? ....Hello?"

Taking a step forward, I felt something squish beneath my hoof. Raising it to the floodlight, I saw that it was the squished remains of a crystal berry. Looking to the couch Yellow was using, I spotted several of the multi-colored orbs scattered on the floor ahead of it.

"Son of a mule..." I muttered to myself. "You were hiding some berries from me."

But what happened? Guessing by the berries, Yellow must have been snacking on them when something happened. My face clenched as my side ached again; were we attacked by something? Did I get hit? Where are the others? Looking around, I saw dozens of markers on the E.F.S.; the rats weren't making it easier to pin them down.

Guess I'll have to track them the old fashion way.

I took a closer look at the discarded berries and saw that I wasn't the only one who stepped on them. There was a set of hoofprints on the floor made from berry juice, leading up the stairs to the second floor. As I followed them, I laughed internally when I realized just how accurate my cutie mark was right now.

Upstairs, the hoofprints were getting thinner and thinner, forcing me to look down and shine my PipBuck light around the tiles for the smallest and freshest of stains. It was because of this that I ended up bumping my head against a door.

"Aw! Son of a..."

After rubbing my head for a couple seconds, I opened the door the trail led to, and walked in. It turned out to be a laundry room; what with its one washing machine, wash boards, and piles of still neatly stacked clothes in a shelf. There were a couple mannequins wearing things like evening wear, business suits, and even pajamas; I guess Bitworth also knew a thing or two about tailoring, because besides them was a table with tools for sewing and re-sizing the garments.

Waving my light around the floor, I found no more stains. Was she in this room?

My voice was just above a whisper. "Yellow? You in here?"

Something else got my attention however, when I saw a ray of light through the window. I went to it and looked outside where I was given a view over the outdoor garden in the center of the mansion. On the other side, the first floor of the opposite wing, I saw three flashlights and the shadowy figures of Slim and the other two ponies. They hadn't seen me and were busy looking through drawers and shelves; even from this distance and rain, I could see that their bags seemed heavier than before, meaning that they had found some noteworthy loot. If I can catch up to them, maybe they'd know what happened to the other three!

I turned around and immediately jumped back and shouted at what I saw.

"Fuck!"

I'm not the kind of pony who enjoys cursing, but right now, it seemed very appropriate. While I was looking out the window, all the mannequins were moved, forming a half-circle around me; their blank faces starring at me.

With my back against the window, my breathing became harsh and ragged while my heart-rate spiked. Just when I was starting to calm myself, a muffled voice caused me to jump.

"P.I.! That you?"

I recognized it. "Y-Yellow!?" I yelled. "Where are you?"

I heard the sound of a door creaking as it opened. I pointed the PipBuck light to the darkest section of the room where a barely opened closet resided; Yellow's eyes reflecting the light through the crack nearly startled me.

I breathed a small sigh of relief and carefully walked around the dummies as I made it to Yellow.

She stepped out of the closet and stood before me. "Oh thank goodness you're ok."

"What happened back in the foyer?" I asked. "I woke up and nopony was there."

Yellow's eyes were scanning the darkness. "We...we were just resting when a...a...a--"

Her constant stuttering caused me to put my hooves on her shoulders and forced her to look me in the eyes. "A what!?"

Her ears folded and her voice was barely audible. "A ghost showed up..."

"A ghost showed up?" I cocked an eyebrow then spoke with a hint of doubt in my voice. "You...sure?"

She smacked my hooves off of her. "Of course I'm sure! We wouldn't have run off otherwise! The thing was glowing...flying around...looked...wavy."

"Well what about me then? Why'd you all leave me behind?"

She frowned, and I could see guilt in her expression. "I-I tried to wake you, but you just refused to get up. I even tried to carry you, but the other ponies dragged me away. They said it was too late for you. We quickly got separated after that."

Ugh, that pain again... I grunted as I held my side. "Did something else happen? Because I feel bruised here."

She nervously chuckled. "I uh...heh...might have tired to wake you...with a kick..." My expression became one of disbelief and anger. Yellow traced a circle on the floor with her hoof. "Would it help if I say I'm sorry?"

I would have been more angry at her, but at least she tired to save me. Just wish she didn't have to kick me...

I rolled my eyes and made for the exit. "Whatever. Let's just go find the others."

Yellow stayed where she was. "But...the ghost."

I put my hoof on the doorknob, then turned to her. "I don't know what it was you saw, but it can't be a ghost. They don't exist. It's just this old house and rumors making us para--" I opened the door and saw a pony shaped white glowing mass hovering a few inches off the ground. "...noid."

With wide eyes I stared at it for two seconds, then calmly closed the door, turned around, and proceeded to FREAK THE FUCK OUT!

Yellow and I yelled as we ran to the back of the room by the window. The door opened and the phantasm slowly glided over the floor towards us. We then stood on our hind-legs as we embraced each other and screamed.

What could we do but scream? Shoot it? I doubt that would work, and Yellow probably knew that too!

"P.I.!" Yellow shouted.

"Y-yeah?!"

"There's something I have to tell you!"

"Well out with it! We're gonna die anyway!"

"I haven't been entirely truthful!"

"If it's about the berries! I know already!"

"It's not the berries you idiot! I've been--"

As the specter neared, lightning stuck, illuminating the room in a white flash. I stopped screaming when I noticed something in that fraction of a second. I let go of Yellow then walked up to the spirit.

Yellow was clearly confused by my actions. "P.I.? What are you doing!?"

I stood face to face with the 'ghost', then knocked it over, revealing it to be nothing more than a mannequin with a sheet over it. Yellow and I curiously looked at it as the boom of the thunder reached us; I turned to Yellow and mouthed the words 'keep screaming' to her.

She got my meaning and nodded once, then started when the thunder began to die down. "Oh uh...ahhh! We're doomed!" Yeah...not the best of actors...

As Yellow had her 'performance', I placed my ear to the door and could hear the sound of somepony giggling, trying to contain their laughter.

I quickly opened it and surprised two young colts on the other side. I managed to snag them both and pull them into the room before they could run away.

"Hey!"

"Let go!"

They kicked, squirmed, and even bit me! But I refused to let them go.

Yellow was quick to interrogate them. "Who are you kids!?"

They were an earth pony and a unicorn. The earth pony was light purple with a yellow mane and no cutie mark, while the unicorn was eggshell white with a pink mane; he had the image of a whoopee cushion on his flank. They were both barely older than Jewel Gift from the memory.

After several minutes of them squirming, I released them when they finally calmed down.

"I'm Patsy." The earth pony colt said.

"And I'm Gag Pun." Finished the unicorn.

Yellow and I looked at them, then to each other, then back to them.

"That ghost in the foyer." Yellow said with her teeth gritted, trying to contain her anger. "That was you two?"

They slowly nodded.

"Why?" I asked.

"It was just a prank, mister." Gag Pun said. I could see how they made the ghost. Just cover the dummy with a sheet, then levitate it with Gag's magic which also gave it the 'eerie glow'.

"I didn't want to do it!" Patsy pointed accusingly to his friend. "It was all his idea!"

"Hey! Don't be a tattle tale!" Responded the other.

"No fighting!" I said with a stern voice. They both yelped, then looked up to me. "Where are your parents?"

"B-back at the town...please don't tell them." Begged Pasty.

Yellow spoke up. "And they just let you run off here all on your own?"

"Uh..." Gag Pun looked hesitant to speak, but reluctantly answered anyway. "Patsy's parents think he's sleeping over at my house...mine think I'm sleeping at his..."

I hovered over them. "And you're staying here because...?"

"T-this is our club house... Nopony ever comes here cause they think it's haunted. We would have gone home sooner, but the weather is freaking crazy outside!"

Oh wow. When I was a colt, I used cardboard boxes as my clubhouse; these kids are using an entire mansion...

"And you kids aren't afraid?" asked Yellow.

Gag Pun responded. "The house is just really old. We come here all the time, and nothing scary ever happened to us."

All the time? Maybe they know something! "Hey, do you two know anything about two unicorns disappearing from here recently?"

They looked to each other, then shrugged. "We haven't been back here in like...a week."

I turned around and kicked up floor dust in frustration while I muttered. "And here I thought we'd find a lead... Guess we'll have to search the rest of the house."

"Oh, well," Gag Pun said as both the colts went for the door, "we'll leave you to that."

I pulled them back. "We'll as in 'you're gonna help us'. It's the least you can do after scaring us half to death." Their little faces were baffled, then became neutral when I continued. "Or would you rather I tell your parents where you've been hanging out all this time?"

They both looked to each other, then to me, and slowly shook their heads.

* * *

All four of us made it back to the entrance where we had to guess which hallway would take us to where I spotted the others.

"Uh." I drawled. "You two know the mansion better. Which hallway will take us to the others?"

"That depends." Gag Pun said. "Where did you see them?"

"Um. They were in the hallway opposite of the laundry room. On the bottom floor."

Both of the colts responded with a very flat 'ooh'.

"'Ooh'?" I looked to them both with confusion. "Why the 'ooh'?"

"Well..." Gag Pun pointed to one of the hallways. "We'd go that way, but..."

"But?" Yellow said.

Patsy raised his forelegs and continued where Gag Pun left off. "The way is blocked off by broken bits of the house! We'd have to go around!"

"Great." I sarcastically said a roll of my eyes. "So much for getting ther--"

I stopped talking when I spotted something on my E.F.S. Something I really didn't want to deal with right now.

Red markers. Lots of them... They were oriented towards the entrance.

"Shit." I quietly cursed. I turned to the others, gestured for them to stay quiet, and move to the dark hallway opposite of the one Yellow and I first used. From the shadow of the hallway, I peeked around the corner and viewed the entrance. Seconds later the door intensely swung open as dozens of rain soaked ponies entered the mansion.

Crap! They were the raiders from earlier!

Several of them tried to dry themselves by shaking their bodies like dogs; the water mixed with dirt and blood from their filthy bodies formed black puddles under their legs.

One of the raiders spoke to the one besides him. "You sure they're in here?"

"Oh yeah." One of them responded, shaking his wet mane as he nodded. "Fuck'in definitely! Their wagons are outside." He pointed to the floodlight. "And they even set up the lights for us."

A nervous looking one near the back of the group spoke up. "Guys! W-we shouldn't be here!"

The first one, who I'm assuming was the leader of this bunch, turned his head back just enough to see the nervous one through the corner of his vision. "And why's that?"

The skittish raider turned to all of them as he spoke. "You guys never heard of the rumors?! Place is fucking haunted! Ponies enter but nopony ever lea--"

The first one slapped him against the muzzle. "Shut the fuck up with that shit!" The rest all chuckled. "This place ain't being lived in by spooks!" He waved his hoof around the foyer as he spoke. "Take a good gander at this place mares and gentlestallions, cause this place is ours now!" They all cheered for a good thirty seconds, but were silenced when the leader raised his hoof. "Now then, I want you all to find our little...guests and show them a good ol' time the only way we know how to!" They cheered again, this time the leader shouted over their cries. "Somepony go outside and tell the others to go round the back of this place; we'll box them in!" He looked up and pointed to the chandelier. "I'm sure they'll make lovely decorations once we hang 'em from there!" Two went outside to relay the message to the other raiders outside. "Oh! And bring me that Stable cunt!" He licked his lips. "I'd like to savor some alone time with her!"

I turned to Yellow, and even though we were in the shadows, I could still see that her eyes were wide open.

* * *

All four of us managed to sneak away before the raiders at the entrance began their hunt for us; the other group of raiders already entered through the back of the mansion and were on the prowl. It took a while for our eyes to adjust to the dark; if I turned on my PipBuck light, the raiders would easily spot us and instantly be on us. However, with the help of my E.F.S. we were able to avoid them. We had to get to the guild members before the raiders did. I didn't hear any gunshots or screams, so that meant that they hadn't found them yet.

As we silently walked through a corridor, I spotted hostile marks on the E.F.S. from around the corner. I gestured for all of us to stop.

"Not that way." I whispered. We turned around to find a way around them, but once again I stopped us. "Shit." There were also red markers down the way we came. They really were boxing us in! I quickly turned to the foals and whispered just loud enough for them to hear. "Gag Pun! Pasty!" They both looked to me with worry in their eyes. "You two know this place best. Is there any way we can get out of this?"

They turned to each other then frantically looked around. "Wait." Gag Pun said in a low voice. "I know a way." The colt walked up to the wall and opened a door that I didn't even see because it was hidden in the darkest section of the hallway. "This way." The colt held the door open and waved for us to go in. With the raiders getting closer, Yellow and I both ran through the doorway. "Just be careful of the--" His warning came too late as my assistant and I started falling down a set of steps. "...Stairs."

Thankfully, it wasn't that long of a fall and a metal door at the bottom was there to stop our decent. "Ow..." I quietly groaned, sandwiched between Yellow and the door. "Gag Pun..."

"Yeah?" The colt said after they closed the door and safely made it down the stairs.

With the door closed, I freed my leg out from under Yellow, turned on the PipBuck light, and pointed to where I assumed Gag Pun was. "You...have no idea how much I wish you were in your double digits so it'd be more acceptable shooting you!"

The colts turned to each other and stifled their laughter. Yuck it up Gag Pun... I'll make sure to remember this the second you come of age...

"Anyway." Yellow got off me and dusted herself off. "You said there was a way out." She pointed to the metal door. "This it?"

Patsy rubbed the back of his head, seeming unsure. "Eeh..."

Oh no. First an 'ooh', now an 'eeh'? "Is it, or isn't it?" I asked in a combination of both worry and annoyance.

"We...don't know." Pasty averted his eyes upwards. "The door was too heavy for us to ever open." Great. That means this could be another way to the others, or the door to a closet. Well...one way to find out.

I got up, placed my hooves on the door and pushed. The thing barely budged. Yellow was quick to assist as she began pushing alongside me. Slowly but surely, the door started to move; its hinges protesting the more we opened it. We walked through it once it was wide enough, and to my delight it wasn't a closet. From what I could make out in the glow of my PipBuck, the room was much bigger and wider than a closet, but other than that, the rest of it was still shrouded in darkness. Moments later, I had to shield my eyes from the intense ceiling lights that suddenly turned on. Once they adjusted, I saw Yellow besides a switch in the wall.

"Oh, hey! They still work!" She said, looking up at the light fixtures.

The room looked to be some sort of modified basement that had three entrances: one we just entered from, one at the opposite end, and the last one was in the center of the wall to the side. The room wasn't in the greatest of conditions, and it seemed as if an explosion went off, scorching everything in the room; the work table in the center, the bits of machinery on it, the whiteboard with no longer legible equations written on it, a terminal on a desk, large computer servers, and even the walls. This was definitely not a closet. This was a lab.

Walking to the center of the room, I could guess where the explosion came from. Across from the center entrance was one of those doors that slides upwards, leading to a windowed room. Through the blown out window, I could see that the room's walls were pitch black, signifying that the explosion originated from there. There was a destroyed terminal mounted on the wall between the door and the window. The room was empty except for two bits of machinery that resembled tesla coils. One was attached to the ceiling, pointing to the wall opposite of me, the other had fallen off and laid haphazardly on the floor; some of its wiring ran up to the empty socket in the ceiling where it originally was.

I whistled. "Whoa. That must have made quite the boom."

"Yo, P.I.!" Yellow shouted from behind the desk. "Found something!" I approached her, and saw that she was sifting through the desk's shelves where she pulled out a memory orb. I will admit, I am curious to see what's in it, but now really isn't the time. Instead, I pocketed it and went for the center exit where Yellow helped me once again with the door.

Once it was open, I turned to the others. "Wait here. I'll check it out." I then walked up a new set of stairs that ended with a cellar door. Opening it, I was a bit surprised to be welcomed by hard rain and the mansion's walls on all sides. So this door led to the garden, I saw what must have been full of all kinds of plant life now consisted of long dead vegetation. Beneath me was a stone trail on the soil that parted sections of the garden, encircled a burned tree in the center, then split into different trails that all led to doors back into the mansion.

Reaching the tree, I glanced at all the windows and spotted the same flashlights held by Slim and the two other ponies; they weren't that far from where I saw them earlier. I quickly ran to where they were, then tapped the window trying to get their attention.

Slim, being the first to notice, approached, then opened the window. "What the heck are you doing out there?"

As I stood out in the rain, I quickly told him what happened; the kids, the two ponies working the flood lights who were now somewhere in the mansion, and with strong emphasis: the raiders.

"Shit." Slim muttered as he turned to the two other guild members. "Turn those lights off!" They looked at each other confused, then obeyed.

"What do we do now?" I asked. "There's too many for us to fight, and there might be more waiting for us outside the mansion."

Slim put on a serious face as he weighed our options. "I'll try to find those other two." He pointed to me. "You said you have foals with you. They safe where you left 'em?"

"Yeah. The entrance was well hidden, and the doors are pretty thick."

"Good. Here's what we'll do. Me and these two will quietly look for the other two. Once we find them, we'll try to make it to that cellar. If we can't make it there, we'll find a hiding spot and stay low. Other guild members are scheduled to arrive here in the morning, they'll notice the raiders and send help."

I nodded. "Alright. Sounds like a plan. I'll wait for you guys in the cellar, I'll lock it in case the raiders find it. When you guys get to it, knock seven times and I'll open it."

"Seven times. Alright." Slim turned to the other two. "Pack it all up! We're moving!"

The mare and stallion quickly picked up their bags full of things looted from the house; the mare however, dropped her bags, and several items of value spilled out, including two memory orbs.

I pointed to the orbs and looked to the mare. "Where you'd get those?"

The mare cast me a quick glance before she swept the items back into her bag. "One of them was in the master bedroom, the other was in a foal's room."

"Mind if I take them?" She looked at me quizzically, shrugged, then passed the orbs over to me, which I then placed into my saddlebags. "Alright, I'll head back now. Good luck to you all."

* * *

Five minutes later, I was back in the lab with Yellow and the colts; all three entrances were locked, and I already told Yellow about the others. Now all we had to do was wait, and waiting was boring! Yellow was playing Tic-Tack-Toe with the colts by using their hooves to scratch out the ash on the floor. The game, being originally two player and not a three player one, caused them to argue every few minutes. I was resting on the floor a good distance from them, not wanting to be involved in that soup. Moments of boredom later, an idea surfaced in my head.

"Uh, Yellow." I said, momentarily getting her attention from her game. "I'm gonna use the recollector again. Remember; open the doors if somepony knocks seven times." Once she nodded, I pulled out the device and inserted one of the new orbs I got. I removed my hat to the side, and right when I was about to place the recollector on my head, I stopped to glance at Yellow. "And don't kick me this time!"

With a quick chuckle, she turned back to the game. "No promises."

I rolled my eyes lightheartedly, put the recollector atop my head, then watched as the world began to fade away.

oooOOOooo

When everything melded together, I found myself to be in another stallion's body. It appeared that I was in a hospital room, holding on to the hoof of a dark yellow earth pony mare with a long tan mane. The mare was laying on her back on the hospital bed, profusely sweating, and seemed utterly exhausted; also, she seemed familiar...

The stallion who I was in gently spoke to the mare, softly caressing her head with his free hoof. "Cherish... Y-you did it."

Cherish? ...Wasn't that the name of Harrow's wife? Also...my voice sounded like him. This was Harrow! His body felt...well, younger.

"Congratulations, It's a girl!" Harrow turned to the foot of the bed where a doctor and nurse were wiping a crying newborn of blood and other fluids. The baby was the same color as Jewel Gift and cried loudly with her eyes closed. The nurse wrapped the foal in a pink blanket then carefully placed her in Cherish's hooves.

"Hey there..." Cherish weakly said while giving the newborn a soft nuzzle. "I've waited so long to meet you."

I could feel Harrow's eyes moisten as he smiled to the little bundle. He offered his hoof to the foal, who stopped crying after she gripped it with both her hooves. "She's beautiful."

The doctor coughed loudly, when Harrow turned to him, I could see that the physician felt a little guilty about ruining the moment. "Have you two decided on a name?"

Cherish answered him with labored breaths. "Oh. We...we still haven't...decided." She turned to Harrow. "I mean...what...what would we even name this...this little jewel?"

"Heh." Harrow lightly chuckled. "She is quite a gift."

Harrow brushed aside Cherish's sweat soaked bangs and kissed her forehead; it tasted a bit salty, but Harrow didn't seem to mind. "There's no rush. I'm sure that what ever we come up with will be a perfect fit."

The nurse then spoke. "We need to move her to the nursery now."

Cherish spoke softly, almost as if she were in a trance. "Oh, of...of course." She allowed the nurse to take the baby, who then left the room. She then weakly turned to Harrow. "Watch her. I...I feel...so tired."

Harrow stroked the side of her face as he planted a quick kiss on her lips. "You rest now, I'll keep an eye on her."

She slowly nodded, then closed her eyes. Once she was asleep, Harrow left the room, asked a receptionist for directions, then went straight to the hallway that had a window looking into the nursery. He smiled when he saw the nurse place his daughter into her own little plastic bassinet alongside several others. Out all the sleeping babies in there, Harrow kept his eyes solely focused on his own; occasionally, he would burst into a grin.

Minutes later, a slap to his back caused him to yelp in surprise. "Congratulations to the new father!"

Harrow broke the line of sight with his newborn daughter to turn to the one who just surprised him. "Goddesses, Trotter! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Trotter; he also seemed younger. The blue stallion then eagerly pressed his face against the nursery window. "I heard my sis just gave birth. Which one of these lucky foals am I the uncle to?"

Harrow pointed through the window, towards his daughter. "Her. Earth pony in the pink blanket...the gray one."

Trotter whistled. "Oh man. Can't wait to spoil her rotten...that is, until I find myself a job."

Harrow amusingly raised an eyebrow to him. "You know. I just recently got hired by one of the ministries; I might be able to set you up with one."

"Really?" Trotter said as he promptly turned to Harrow. A second later, his expression showed uncertainty. "Wait. Which ministry?"

"Arcane Science."

Trotter's ears drooped, he seemed disappointed. "Isn't that more of a...unicorn ministry?"

Harrow raised his hoof and wavered it. "Eeh. Sort of... The division that I work in, dabbles with machines that have magical applications. I could hire you to assist me, heck, I could use an extra set of hooves in the lab.

Trotter rubbed his chin as he considered the offer. "I guess I could do that. Sounds better than flipping hayburgers."

Harrow put his hoof on Trotters shoulder. "Excellent. We'll discuss this later, right now, let me savor being a new dad."

Trotter happily nodded. "Right! I'll come back later." He then turned and walked down the hallway, leaving Harrow to gaze at his daughter again.

Minutes later, a second voice disturbed him.

"Mr. Harrow."

Harrow turned his head and saw the doctor from earlier. "Oh. Doctor. How's my wife resting?"

"About that..." The doctor's face seemed like it wanted to express regret, but tired it's best to stay neutral. "It appears that during the labor, there were...complications."

Harrow viewed the doctor with bewilderment. "W-what?"

"It seems that her body couldn't handle the strain of childbirth; it's a miracle she was able to deliver at all." I could feel Harrow's heart skip; his body became tense as a shiver ran down his spine. "After you left, your wife went into cardiac arrest." Harrow's eyes began to moisten as he slowly shook his head and mouthed the word 'no' over and over. His heartbeat began to increase to the point where I could hear it. "And I'm sorry..." The doctor placed a hoof on Harrow's shoulder. "But we did all we could..."

Harrow's legs gave out and he ended up sitting on his haunches. He stared at the floor as he took quick deep breaths, almost as if he couldn't get enough air. His sobs started to mix in with his exaggerated breathing. Moments later, he got up, and with tears running down his face, turned to his daughter. The newborn seemed calm, so peaceful and full of innocence in her sleep. Harrow spoke through the glass, his voice hoarse and cracking.

"I-I'll watch her, Cherish... Our...our jewel...our gift..."

oooOOOooo

When the memory ended, I took off the recollector and noticed Yellow turning to me from the same game she started when I went memory diving.

"Oh wow. That was fast. I thought you'd take fore--P.I., are you crying?"

"What? I'm not--" I placed a hoof to my face and felt damp lines under my eyes. "--crying?" Ok. So maybe that memory was a little emotional, but there was no way I'd admit that to Yellow. "No." I coughed. "Just...accidentally wiped some floor ash into my eye before I used the orb."

She raised her brow with a grin. "On both eyes?"

I shrugged. "Whoops."

"Suuure~." She playfully mocked while rolling her eyes. "Whatever."

"Anyway." I said, trying to change the subject. "Did anypony come knocking?"

She nodded. "Somepony came, but they didn't even try to knock. We stayed quiet, and guessing by all the swears, it was a raider. Luckily he gave up trying to open the door, and yelled--" She tired her best to imitate the raiders voice, but it didn't sound that much different than her Slim impersonation from earlier."'Hey guys! This door is fu--'" She stopped and turned to the colts, then broke into an awkward smile. "Eh...'fudging jammed!'"

"You know we heard him too." Patsy said, his expression unimpressed.

Yellow raised her hoof to the colts, then waved it dismissively. "Nah, you misheard him." She turned back to me. "Anyway, it means they won't bother trying again anytime soon."

I felt a little more comfortable; that practically ensured our safety until morning. Now we just have to hope the others can get here without being seen before then.

"Hey!" Yellow waved at me, then pointed to the newly made grid they drew in the ash and dust. "Now that you're done with that, wanna join us?"

I shrugged. "Sure, why not?" I got up with a grunt, then walked over to them. I stopped when I saw all the other grids around them that they made before. I don't know what this game they were playing was, but it wasn't Tic-Tac-Toe...at least, not anymore. They were using a lot more than just X's and O's; there were triangles, squares, hexagons, spirals, even a grid within the grid! Any shape conceived was being used, and I was quickly starting to reconsider. "On second thought..." I walked back, returned to where I sat before, then pulled out the recollector again. "Eh... I have some other orbs to view. Um...who knows...there might be something useful in them."

She eyed me for a couple seconds, then returned to her game. "Heh. Whatever...your loss."

"Hey!" Gag Pun yelled, pointing at the amber mare. "You can't put your cube there! I still have ten hit points!"

Yellow's response was, "ha! I can if it's an even day!"

Suddenly they argued over their made up rulings, which thankfully I had the luxury of not hearing as the world, once again, began to fade away.

oooOOOooo

The body I was in had the same feel as before... Yup, this was Harrow...again... I'm starting to wish for a little variety here...

Harrow was wearing a lab coat over his sweater and seemed to be in an un-exploded (That's a word, right?) version of the lab Yellow, the colts and I were currently hiding in.

He coughed into his hoof and spoke to no one in particular. "Now that you're back from visiting your marefriend's parents, thank Bitworth for informing you about this memory orb I recorded for you. I mean, I got you the recollector to spare myself some time updating you on projects, Trotter." Ah. So this memory was for Trotter.

"Anyway, about our latest project." He walked to the window that looked into the room with the tesla coils on the ceiling. "Despite your absence, I was able to make some progress." He fiddled with the terminal besides him, causing the coils to hum; their volume started off low, but slowly gained in pitch. Arcs of electricity escaped from the coils, adding crackling to the hum.

Harrow craned his head to look back to the table behind him, then used his magic to retrieve something off of it. "We can't see what the machine is doing with the naked eye, but with these, we'll be able to." He held the item before his eyes, it appeared to be a set of lab goggles. "I've had these enchanted to allow the wearer to view things in a different light spectrum." He placed them over his eyes, and true to his word, his vision saw the world in a violet tint. Inside the room, right where the coils were pointing at, something that looked like glowing grains of sand were being pulled from the air and encircled on the wall in a clockwise motion.

"Little reminder, in case you forgot." He pointed to the ring that was now four feet in diameter. "The machine collects the necessary particles needed for our experiment, then applies a magical current though it, which then causes..." Harrow mouthed a countdown starting at three. On one, a shadowy mass filled within the ring. "Which then forms what you've nicknamed...'The Gap'." I also noticed that a second 'gap' opened on the wall to the right. Fortunately, Harrow was quick to address it. "For simplicity's sake, I've pre-set the second one to open in the same room."

Now I'm getting really curious as to what this project is.

"As for the progress I mentioned...well..." Harrow used his magic to levitate six apples that were in the room, then flung them into the first gap. Thirty seconds later, only two of the fruits emerged from the second gap. "Well, uh...that." Harrow forced a grin and shrugged. "Hey, two out of six is better than our preliminary results of none." He turned off the machine, then stared at the two apples on the room's floor. "As for where the others are...who knows? I've tried a similar experiment with clocks, just to see if there was any time distortion; but no, they were in perfect sync with our time. Meaning that traveling through the gaps happens in real time, and anything could be in-between them...anything. I'm gonna have my head wrapped around this for some ti--"

The ringing of a phone caused harrow to stop, he then walked to the desk where it was and answered it. Bitworth's voice could be heard on the receiving end. "Harrow residence. Who might this be?"

A second voice answered, a mare's. She had an orotund voice and sounded irritated. "Telemetry, from the M.A.S."

Harrow quickly spoke into the phone. "Eh, I got this one, Bitworth."

"Very well, Sir." Bitworth replied. The sound of him hanging up followed, leaving Harrow on the line with Telemetry.

Harrow sounded nervous. "Um...Telemetry, for what do I owe the call?"

"You know very well why I'm calling, Harrow."

Harrow sighed and scratched his mane. "The progress report?"

"Mm-hmm. When Princess Luna asked the M.A.S. if we could find a way to teleport ponies en-mass, and do it bypassing zebra countermeasures; you were the only one who took up that assignment. Now a great amount of time has passed and your previous reports are...less than promising."

Harrow looked into the room and glanced at the two apples. "Please. I need more time. I'm so close."

Telemetry was quick to counter. "You may have been able to convince Ms. Sparkle to allow you to work from home so you could 'spend more time with your daughter', but you'll find that I'm not one to give in so easily as her. Ms. Sparkle is too kind to even consider revoking your funding; that's why it's up to ponies like me to do it for her."

"But I--"

"You have until the end of the month to deliver. If you fail to impress Ms. Sparkle's representative, then your project's funding will go to another. So I'd best make haste if I were you, otherwise, your credibility within the M.A.S. would be severely tarnished." Her last words caused Harrow's eyes to widen. "What good would living in a mansion be if you can't support your daughter..."

Harrow waited for her to hang up, then did the same.

"Trotter... We're gonna have to work overtime on this. I'm keeping the goggles hidden in a false drawer in the desk here. You know how Jewel likes to come in here and play with the equipment..."

oooOOOooo

Once the memory ended, I took off the recollector, put my hat back on, and made for the desk; the others were busy playing their game to even notice I was up. In my search through the desk drawers, I accidentally hit a key on the terminal, causing its screen to flicker as it turned on. I looked at the terminal with amazement; Stable-Tec really knew how to make them! The thing still worked, even after two centuries and an explosion. Out of curiosity I tried to access it, but was impeded when it asked for a password.

Well I guess this is as good a time as any to try out the PipBuck's hacking program. I pulled out the retractable wire from my PipBuck and plugged it in to one of the terminal's ports. Sure, there were other ways to hack a terminal, but the PipBuck route was the only one I knew I could do. Activating the hacking program caused the terminal to change to a screen full of a mishmash of symbols and seemingly random words. Near the top of the screen were the words '4 ATTEMPT(S) LEFT' and four squares after that. The squares signified how many chances I had at guessing which of the displayed words was the password. I remember being told once; that if I were down to my last square, the correct course of action was to back out and restart the terminal, then try again. I started by entering the first word I saw.

> CHANCES

> Entry denied

> 2/7 correct.

Ok. Now that I have a start, lets see what my other choices are...oh...that's painfully obvious...

> CHERISH

> Exact match!

> Please wait

> while system

> is accessed.

Now unlocked, I was able to access the terminal. Almost everything in it was corrupted, except for three audio files which I downloaded into my PipBuck. I then resumed my drawer search and found the false bottom Harrow mentioned. I pulled out the goggles and found they were still in very good condition; maybe I'd be able to sell these for a fair amount of caps. I strapped them to my head and saw that my vision now had a violet shade; satisfied that they still work, I lowered them to hang off my neck, then played one of the files. To not disturb the others, I set the volume just low enough so that only I could hear. I then heard Harrow's voice, by the sound of it, he seemed to be excited.

"I've caught a lucky break! Just the other day, Bitworth was tending to the trees around the house when he found something strange! On the stone wall, just behind the house...was a gap! I was skeptical at first, but when he took me there to see for myself, it was there, plain as day! What's amazing is that this one worked! I could see through the other end and everything! On the other side was some kind of cave, I even put my hoof through it! I don't know how it got there...maybe...maybe it's a side effect from my earlier attempts or...or something, but who cares! This one works! I brought some equipment to analyze it, and with the data I collected, I think I can recreate it! Oh I can't wait to see the look on Telemetry's face when Twilight Sparkle herself congratulates me! Just need to tweak the machine a bit and I'll be set! My daughter's happiness is guaranteed now!"

The file ended and left me pondering. So a working gap just happened to appear near his house? That seemed a little strange, but maybe it was just what Harrow said; a side effect caused by his machine. Maybe the second file reveals what happened next.

"This is Harrow, with my first attempt creating a gap with the new algorithm I've acquired. Hopefully, this will be the one."

What followed was the sound of terminal keys being typed, then the hum of the machine.

"Particle stability is at...forty percent...sixty...eighty percent! Oh sweet Luna is this happening!?" He cheered joyfully as the hum raised in pitch. "Come on, come on one hundred...YES!" The machine's hum lowered to a tolerable volume. "IT WORKS! I SEE YOU THERE, ME!"

He sees himself? Wait? Is he looking at himself through one of the gaps?

"Now for the test! I'm throwing the apples in!" Seconds later, I heard the sound of multiple things thumping off the floor, followed by Harrow's rejoicing. "It works! It works! All six apples came through! I-I did it, I actually did it!"

His celebration was cut short when the phone rang, which he then quickly answered.

"Hello? Oh, Trotter! I have great news, I--what? What's that sound in the back? ...Trotter, you're going to have to speak up. ...Cloudsdayle? What about Cloudsdayle? Trotter? Trotter, are you there!?" Moments later, I heard the muffled sound of klaxons in the background. "Oh no..." Harrow uttered as something dropped, possibly the phone. What came next sounded like an earthquake.

Once it subsided, Harrow shouted. "Jewel Gift!" Then there was the sound of hoofsteps racing out of the lab.

The day Harrow completed his project, was the day the world ended... I couldn't help but feel a little bad for the guy. I could see that there was still some time left on the recording, so I patiently waited through it. For a couple minutes, only the hum of the machine was present. Eventually, I heard him return, along with somepony else I knew.

"Daddy...what's going on?" Jewel Gift sounded sleepy. "Why was everything shaking? And what are those bright lights outside?"

Harrow's voice sounded like it was on the verge of cracking. "I-It's nothing, sweetie. Uh...Celestia... is just playing with the sun is all. She made it a little too bright outside, so you're sleeping here with me tonight. Ok?"

She yawned. "Ok, daddy...where's Bitworth?"

"He...he went with uncle Trotter, remember?"

"Oh yeah... Well...can my friends sleep here too?"

He made a quick, sad chuckle. "Of course. Oh, silly me. I forgot to bring your pillow and blanket. I'm going to go back for them, and maybe some food from the kitchen; it'll be just like camping. That sound fun?"

She giggled. "Yeah."

"Ok. You be a good girl and stay here; I'll be back soon."

"All right, daddy."

"Let me just give you a quick hug, just in case."

Thirty seconds later, Jewel Gift's amused voice broke the silence. "My pillow, daddy."

"Right, right...I'll be back."

Two minutes went by of Jewel Gift humming to herself. Then I heard what sounded like rocks being thrown against the door.

"Oh!" Jewel Gift muttered, then I heard the noise of a filly struggling to open a door. "You're back!"

I expected to hear her father respond, but what I heard instead was far from it. I don't know what was entering the room, but the best way for me to describe the sounds it made, would be that it was similar to hundreds of tiny high pitched voices screaming in agony.

"What's wrong? You don't look so good, and why are you screaming? That room? ...You wanna go in there with that circle thingy? ...Ok! I can open that! Help me move that stool so I can press the button on the computer!

Over the screaming, I was still able to hear a stool screech as it was being dragged, Jewel struggling to climb it, a hoof tap, then the sound of the door releasing pressurized air as it opened. She must have entered the room, as her voice now sounded a bit far off.

"Hey! This mirror is broken! I see my side, not my front!" She started laughing. "What are you doing? You're just going in a big circle!"

The sound of a door opening and Harrow's voice was heard. "Jewel Gift. I'm ba--what are you doing in there!? And what--shoo! Get out of there!" Seconds later, a robotic mare's voice could be heard.

"Radioactive contaminants detected in testing room. Initiating lockdown procedure." There was another hiss, this time along with the sound of a door slamming shut.

"No!" I could hear Harrow beating at the door as he shouted.

"Daddy? What's happening? Open the door!"

"Sweetie! Sweetie, look at me! I'm going to get you out of there! Just wait a bit!"

I heard Harrow's frantic hooftaps on the terminal over the constant high pitched screaming when the automated voice returned.

"Warning. Radioactive contaminants de-harmonizing gap particle stability. Critical implosion imminent. Evacuation is advised."

The hooftaps became more desperate. "NO! SHUT DOWN! SHUT DOWN!"

"Alert. Instruments are non-responsive."

"Daddy, your circlely mirror things are getting wobbly."

"Warning. Critical implosion within. Thirty. Seconds."

Harrow was sobbing as he yelled. "No! Open! Open, please! I beg you!"

"What's wrong daddy? Why are you crying?"

"Ten. Seconds."

"You..." He sniffled. "You just make me...so happy... You...you know I love you, right?"

"Aw, of course! I love you t--"

Jewel Gift never got to tell him... What marked the end of the file was an explosion that would have been ear splitting if my PipBuck was at full volume.

It took me a solid minute of wiping away would-be tears and calming myself from that emotional roller-coaster before I even considered playing the last audio file. Right when I was about to play it, Yellow, seeming to have finished her game, approached me.

"Didn't notice you were up." Her gaze focused on the goggles. "What's that?"

"Oh uh...just something that I fo--" Yellow suddenly placed her hoof over my mouth, silencing me.

"Shh!" She looked around the room.

I moved her hoof aside before responding. "What?"

"You hear that?"

We stayed quiet for several seconds. I almost missed it, but I could hear the faint sound of gunshots through one of the doors. Yellow and I quickly switched from calm, to full alert, then ran to one of the doors and opened it. Pushing the heavy door aside, the sounds became louder and clearer.

"Crap!" I yelled. "The raiders found them!"

"We have to help them!" Yellow charged halfway through the doorway until I bit her tail, causing her to trip. "Hey!"

I spat out her tail. "You're not going anywhere!" I pointed back to the colts. "We can't go out there and leave these two here alone, and neither can we take them with us into a warzone! You're staying here with them! I'll go help them out!"

The colts seemed confused. Yellow looked to them, then to me, her eyes pleading. "But you might need me!"

"Yellow. If we go out there and DIE! Who'll get them home? No, it's better if you stay. If something happens to me, you'll be their only chance of getting them out of here!"

Yellow still seemed resilient, but couldn't come up with a good reason to come. "But...bu--"

"Hey!" Gag Pun shouted. "You don't speak for us! If we want to go with you, we're going!"

These kids are being unreasonable! "No! You're staying here where it's safe, and that's that!" What came next made me wish I kept my voice down.

"Hey!" An aggressive voice shouted from behind one of the other doors. "I fuckin' heard that! Guys! There's more of them in here!"

"Well break the door down!"

Seconds later, the door shook as raiders rammed the door; its hinges creaked loudly, ready to give out in a moments notice.

I turned back to the colts, my expression blank. "Ok. Never mind. You can come."

* * *

We bolted out of the lab, up the stairs, and exited into the garden. The storm had gotten worse during our time in the cellar; the rain was getting heavier and thickened to the point where it was difficult to see a few feet ahead as the wind neared hurricane levels. This however was fortunate for us, as it simply prevented the raiders inside from looking out the window and easily spotting us. Once we made it under the dead tree in the center, I held a hoof over my hat to keep it from blowing away as I used the E.F.S. to see where the red markers were concentrating. Focusing on the largest cluster, I saw five green markers near them, as well as the sound of gunfire coming from that direction.

I found them!

I then led the others to the entrance that was nearest the guild members, yet far enough away from the battle. Entering, I quickly pulled out Conversationalist when I heard clattering. At first I thought it was a raider loading a weapon, but after a couple seconds spent peeking around the hallway's corners and spotting no one, I turned to the others and found that the source of the noise was just the two colts. They were involuntarily shaking as their teeth clattered; we were only outside for less than a minute, but it was enough time to drench the colts.

I put my gun back in its holster, removed my duster coat, then wrapped it around the colts; leaving me in just my shirt, vest, tie, saddle bags, goggles, and hat.

"T-t-t-t-thanks..." Pansy stuttered as he and Gag Pun tightly wrapped themselves in my coat.

I walked into the hallway, then turned back to the three of them. "If you're gonna come along, follow from a distance, I'll scout ahead. Yellow, you watch them." She nodded after pulling out her own gun.

As I stalked ahead, several doors distance from the others, I used the E.F.S. to guide me to the guild members. The hallway we were in was similar to the first one Yellow and I searched; the water running down the windows made it impossible to see the garden and the only light we got was when lightning stuck, lighting everything for a fraction of a second. Judging by the sound of the firefight, Slim and the other members had set up a position somewhere and were currently defending themselves. I could take advantage of this, the raiders would be too busy with Slim and others, giving me a chance to catch some of them off guard and for the others to line up a shot and--why did that red marker quickly slide out of view and disappear!?

The answer to that question arrived when a raider jumped out and tackled me from one of the open rooms I was passing. Right! The E.F.S. marks direction, not distance! The raider and I struggled on the floor, despite this, I was able to spot Yellow aiming her gun at him.

"No!" I shouted. "The noise will--hmph--bring the others here!" Even if there was a gunfight currently going on, the other raiders would be sure to hear a separate gunshot and come running here, and I doubted we could fend them off with just the two of us while protecting the colts. We'd have to do this silently. "I can handle--ugh-- him! Just--be on the lookout for others!"

Yellow reluctantly lowered her gun, but kept it ready in case I were in serious trouble.

"I'm gonna gut'cha!" The raider yelled as he managed to pin me down, then reached his head over to his side and unsheathed a rusty hunting knife. With the knife held in his mouth, he tired to jab it in my neck but couldn't when my hoof held his head back. I was losing ground as the blade neared my throat; right when Yellow lined up a shot, I hit the side of his head with my Pipbuck. The hard metal was enough to cause him to drop the knife as he staggered back, allowing me time to get on my hooves, and Yellow to lower the gun again.

During that scuffle, I accidentally turned on the last audio recording I was going to listen to back in the cellar. It played as I fought with the raider.

For a while, there was only silence accompanied by the slight sound of breathing, then Harrow's voice spoke. His words were clear, but there was a slight hint of sorrow in his voice. "...It happened... None of us thought it would really come to this...but it did. The bombs were dropped..."

I quickly landed two hits on the raider's face before he countered. The goggles bounced around my neck as I barely managed to dodge two of his swipes, but took the third to the shoulder. Hoof-to-hoof combat wasn't exactly my forte, but I believed I was decent enough at it to take this guy on.

"I don't care that the world just ended...because the only thing I ever cared about..." His voice started to whimper and he sobbed for a couple seconds. "Oh, Jewel Gift..."

The raider brought his hooves up and tried to slam them over my head; his movements, however, were an obvious tell and I was able to dodge it then respond with an uppercut.

"W-when she was trapped in the testing room..." He sniffled. "It was like the day she was born... Me...watching her through glass. Her, so carefree and innocent. ...I-I'm sorry, Cherish! I promised you that I'd always watch her, but, right before it happened..." His cries became louder and incoherent. "I looked away! I...I couldn't bring myself to watch her die! Oh goddesses...I wish I didn't survive!"

The raider pulled his foreleg back, preparing to strike. I quickly got on my hind-legs and readied my forelegs to block it, but this was a trick! Instead of striking me, he pushed me, causing me to lose my balance and fall on my back. He then quickly picked up the knife and grinned around it.

Harrow made a dry, emotionless laugh. "And you know what the funny thing is...?"

The raider made a step towards me, but stopped and looked to his hind-legs in confusion. Seconds later he fell flat on his stomach, dropped the knife again, and was then dragged by some unseen force into the same room he emerged from. I caught a short glimpse at the look of horror etched on his face before the door slammed shut. There was a quick scream from the other side, then silence as the red marker that was the raider vanished.

My scar started to itch...

"Jewel Gift's 'friends' survived...if you could call that living." A soft click signaled that the recording ended.

Yellow and the colts ran up to me. "What happened?" Asked the amber mare.

I looked to Yellow, then the door in utter bafflement. "I...I don't know." I turned the doorknob, then nudged it open. With extreme caution I entered, turned on the PipBuck light and saw...nothing. The raider wasn't here, he simply vanished into thin air...

"What the?" Yellow said, searching around the room. "Where'd he go?"

I didn't answer her, not because I also didn't know, but because in-between gunshots, I could hear lots of ponies screaming in the distance. Their cries were similar to the raider's who just disappeared. Something was going on...and it wasn't the fight Slim was in...

I turned to the others and yelled. "We need to get to the others, now!"

The others followed me out of the room, towards the green markers. Right when we were about to turn a corner, raiders jumped out from around it, surprising us! However, what shocked us even more was the fact that they were ignoring us; instead they ran past us without even a second glance, each with fear on their expressions. I raised a brow as all of us watched the raiders flee, I then looked around the corner. With my vision slowly adjusting to the dark, I spotted a raider mare at the other end of the hallway, she was on her back, screaming as she was being dragged around the next corner.

What's going on here!? I was only picking up the raiders on the E.F.S. and nothing else! What could be dragging these ponies around like that, and where were they disappearing to? It couldn't be unicorn magic, there was no glow!

It was then that I felt something on my rear legs. It was a tingly feeling and I swear I could feel them being slowly pulled back--wait! Pulled back!? My hind-legs were then yanked out from under me, causing me to fall on my stomach, then dragged backwards.

"P.I.!" Yellow shouted as she chased after me.

I managed to flip onto my back and saw that I was being dragged towards a wall. On it was a small, glowing blue dot that then grew into a glowing circle, as it expanded, I recognized it! I was being dragged towards a gap! But how could this be here!? I thought they only formed when special particles gather! What could be causing it!?

It was then I remembered the goggles, and fumbled as I awkwardly tried to get them in place. The violet tint allowed me to see what was making the gap. I spotted the sandy looking particles from before, but these weren't like the ones from the memory, instead they were densely clumped together and formed what appeared to be dozens of fire-balls around the size of my hoof. Each one had the same color pattern: red for the outer layer, blue for the middle layer, and white for the center. Some of the spheres were encircling the gap while a few of them were on my hind-legs, somehow dragging me.

I couldn't see what was at the other side of the gap, but as I was being pulled towards it, lightning stuck. What I saw persuaded me to struggle even harder against the spheres. In those brief moments of light, I saw that the other end led into some sort of cave; the cave wasn't what freaked me out, what did was the fact that it was filled with mounds of bodies, both old and new. The smell of blood and decay made itself known, the bones of ponies were at the bottom of the stockpile while newer bodies, some of them still twitching, were piled atop them; two of them I recognized...Twofer and Mark Up... Something had used the jagged bones in the cave to stab them.

I tried to swat the spheres away, but my hoof just went through them! I managed to grab one of the nearby stands, but it just screeched along the floor, being dragged as well while I held on to it! Noticing that holding on to the stand made no difference, I let go of it, then felt something grab my hooves, momentarily stopping my momentum.

"I got you!" I looked up and saw Yellow's hooves gripping mine. For a moment there, I thought I was fine; that was until some of the glowing orbs gathered around Yellow's legs. "What the--?!" She fell flat on her chest, then dragged beside me. We were being drawn to the gap, side by side; if we got pulled in, we'd defiantly die! Strangely, I noticed that the orbs weren't bothering the confused colts, and instead only floated around them.

While sliding, I got to my hooves and grabbed the nearest surface; the door knob to the garden entrance. I was stopped, but the pull was still there. Yellow slid a bit further, then grabbed my rear legs. Seconds later, the orbs increased their efforts, which caused us to hover off the ground as I held on for the both of us. I tired to pull us away, but lacked the strength, it was as if gravity itself was pulling us towards the gap! All I could do was clutch the knob, anchoring us.

"I'm slipping!" Yellow shouted. It was true, I could feel her grip loosening...

"Just hang on!" I ordered as I tired again to pull us away. In my effort, I accidentally turned the knob, opening the door.

Rain and wind blew in from the doorway, and right when I was about to lose my strength, we fell to the floor. I landed with a grunt as Yellow did the same. I turned to the orbs and saw them fleeing from our legs, the ones that were encircling the gap stopped, then ran through it, causing the gap to close. The ones that didn't make it were caught in the wind; with the goggles, I saw the particles they were made from scatter like dust in the wind.

I tried to catch my breath as Yellow and I laid on the floor. "Lets...lets just find the others and get out of here..."

Yellow was quick to groan her response. "Agreed."

* * *

After running past more fleeing raiders, all four of us entered the large dining room where Slim and the other guild members were (including the floodlight ponies). The room consisted of a long wooden table, cabinets full of dishes and silverware, chairs, a large window looking out of the house, and a working floodlight that was probably set up before the combat happened, fully lighting the room. Slim and the others had managed to turn the bullet ridden table to its side and were using it as cover against the raiders who were shooting from a separate hallway.

Slim saw us enter, and gestured for the others to suppress the raiders that didn't flee; either these raiders didn't know what was going on just a few halls away, or they didn't care. Once the guild members leaned out of cover and fired, the raiders waited for the barrage to end; meanwhile all four of us took advantage of the situation and ran behind the table.

"I'm glad it's you and not more raiders!" Slim yelled over the raider's return fire. "I was about ready to toss a grenade in that hallway before I noticed it was you!"

"Slim, we need to get out of here!" I shouted as a bullet whizzed above our heads, scraping the table's edge.

Slim shielded his eyes from incoming wood splinters. "I'd love to, but in case you've forgotten, there's raiders up and about!"

I yelled back; my shoulders and hat sprinkled in wooden dust. "Raiders are the least of our worries right now!"

"What!?" Slim peaked through a newly made hole in the table, pointed the revolver held in his magic over the table, and fired. "You're not making any sense! What could be worse than--"

"They're charging!" Yelled one of the other guild members.

I looked over and saw that the raiders who lacked firearms were charging towards us; bludgeons and knives held in their mouths or magic. Yellow and I pulled out our guns and fired at them along side the others; we managed to mow some of them down, but a few of them made it to us and jumped over the table. One even landed a few feet from Yellow.

"Come 're, girly." Muttered the raider, a chair leg held in his teeth.

Yellow kept the colts behind her and aimed her gun at him. Click. She was out of ammo. I aimed at the approaching raider, but right when I was about to fire, another one jumped over and rammed into me, causing me to miss! Once I shoved the second raider aside, I used S.A.T.S. to get a quick head-shot. As soon as he fell to the floor, I aimed back to the first one and squeezed the trigger. Click. Now I was out of ammo!

I could see Yellow was trying her best to slide the new magazine into her gun with her hooves, but ended up clumsily dropping it. Seeing that I didn't have time to reload, I decided to charge the raider but stopped when she did something that surprised me.

She looked to the fallen magazine, her gun, then to the raider. "Fuck it!" She yelled before she flung her gun at the raider's face, momentarily stunning and confusing him. Yellow then charged toward him, the raider swung the chair leg, but Yellow effortlessly and gracefully dodged under it then stood on her hind-legs and used her forelegs to land pinpoint strikes on the unprotected sections of the raider's forelegs, chest, and neck.

The raider dropped the chair leg and went stiff before his legs gave out beneath him. "AH! YOU BITCH!" He shouted, wriggling his head, trying to look up at her. "I CAN'T MOVE!" He cursed at her for a few more seconds until Yellow landed a final hoof-strike to his neck, silencing him. I could see he was still breathing, meaning Yellow only knocked him unconscious.

"Well I'll be..." I looked back and saw Slim; he saw what just happened and his expression was the same as mine: baffled. "Those moves...was that Fallen Caesar Style?"

Yellow turned to Slim, then shrugged as she smiled awkwardly. "What? ...I don't know what you're talking about. I just got a few lucky hits in."

Before I could question her definition of 'lucky', more gunshots were fired, urgently reminding me of our more dire situation. The raiders with guns had managed to use their charging allies distraction against us in order to move to more preferable positions. I reloaded Conversationalist and went back behind the table, Yellow did as well after she picked up her gun and slowly but surely reloaded it.

"There's just no end to them!" Shouted one of the guild members.

"Keep shooting!" Slim lined up a shot and managed to kill a raider, only to have another pick up its fallen comrade's weapon and take its place. "We have to hold out until mornin'!" He had to duck when a cluster of them fired at his position. "Dammit! Have to use the frag!" The old unicorn fished around his bags, then pulled out what looked like a piece of metal in the shape of an apple with a pin at the top. Right when he was about to pull the pin, he stopped when he saw some of the raiders in the back row fall, then dragged into the hallway behind them. "What the?"

Moments later, everypony stopped firing at each other when furniture in the dining room began to violently shake. It was almost as if there was an earthquake, minus the earth quaking. Everypony anxiously scanned the room, almost as if they could feel something bad was about to happen. Immediately one the raiders screamed as she was lifted off the ground, then slammed against the ceiling, only for her to fall to the floor like a rag-doll. Seconds later, the same happened to another, then another. One then fell to the floor and was dragged into the dark hallway; futilely, he fired his weapon into thin air, only to hit nothing and scream as he was pulled around the corner.

I quickly placed the goggles over my eyes and saw something that made my jaw drop. A whole horde of fiery spheres were emerging from the hallway behind the raiders, I could see one of the floating raiders was just covered in them!

I grabbed Slim's shoulders and pointed to the dying raiders. "That! That's why we need to--"

I stopped when all the cabinets started to shake with intensity. Turning to them, I saw that the orbs where gathering around them, then opened the drawers, and pulled out the silverware. The remaining raiders screamed as fancy knives and forks started flying around the room, impaling themselves into the raiders; we had to duck as a few of them even lodged into the table.

"Ah!" I turned when I heard Yellow cry out in pain. One of the orbs floated over the table with a knife and slashed at her, cutting only her forehoof and Stable barding sleeve. She clutched her injured leg and turned to me. "I'm fine! It's not that ba--ugh!" She fell flat on her stomach after a dozen orbs gathered around her legs and started to pull.

"Crap!" I swiftly grasped her hooves and pulled. At the wall behind her, orbs started to encircle on it, slowly opening a gap to that cave full of bodies. I turned back to call for somepony to help, however, with the other members busy dodging eating utensils, and the colts cowering, the only one available was Slim. "Help!" He didn't here me; with the flood light pointing directly into the gap, he was too busy looking into it, specifically, at Twofer and Mark Up's bodies.

His mouth was moving, but it took him a couple tries before the words came out. "I...I got them killed..."

"Slim...Slim!" I shouted. A few seconds later, he quickly shook his head and turned to us.

"R-right!" He went to us, took one of Yellow's hooves, and started pulling as well.

My grip on Yellow's hoof was starting to loosen, and her blood wasn't helping! Think, P.I., think! What made the orbs leave us alone last time!? Uh...uh...we were being dragged, Yellow grabbed my legs, and I grabbed the door...uh...then...then...I accidentally opened it and...and the wind! The wind blew the spheres' particles away like candles! Ugh, but how am I going to suddenly make it breezy in here!?

Without letting go of her, I looked around the room. Raider bodies, scattered guns and casings, flying silverware; finally, my eyes rested on the grenade resting in Slim's open saddlebags. I eyed it for a couple seconds, then looked to the large window.

It's not a proper dining room bash if a window or two haven't been broken!

I let go of Yellow. "Hey!" She shouted.

"Shut up! I'm saving our lives here!" I quickly grabbed the grenade, pulled the pin with my teeth, and immediately chucked it across the room towards the window.

I grabbed Yellow's hoof again, then turned to Slim. "I'm really hoping you don't walk around with duds--"

An ear deafening explosion silenced those worries. The blast had shattered the windows and destroyed sections of the wall; with the raging storm outside, the room was effectively turned into a wind-tunnel. With the fierce winds entering the room, I watched as all of the orbs in the room had their particles dispersed, especially the ones around Yellow and the gap they were ready to drag her in; the gap they were making instantly closed once they were gone.

As she slowly got up, I yelled something at her, however, all she could hear was the wind howling.

"What!?" She yelled.

I had to yell even louder. "I said: 'this house is clean'!"

* * *

Half an hour later, the storm finally settled and with the raiders either dead or long gone, we were free to sit outside by the wagons, tending our wounds.

"Come on, show me that hoof." I gestured for Yellow to offer it, however, she held it near her chest.

"No, really. It's fine." She said meekly.

I chocked my head in both confusion and a bit of annoyance. "Yellow, I saw the blood. Heck, some of it is still on my hoof! So just give it to me so I can treat it."

Her eyes went to my outstretched hoof, then to her injured one. After a couple seconds, she reluctantly gave it to me; the knife had cut cleanly through the sleeve and left a nasty looking gash on her hoof. She winced when I carefully poked it. "Ow!"

"Heh, sorry. You can still feel it, so that's good." I pulled out a healing potion and poured some of it into her wound; she gritted her teeth as it started to close. It hadn't fully healed, so I poured more of the potion onto some bandages. I had to clean off the blood around her hoof before I wrapped it, so to do this I took out a water bottle and rinsed the blood off. "Let me just clean this off before I wrap--whoa." Once the blood had washed off, I noticed something on her amber fur; it kinda looked like a tattoo. I was only able to get a quick glimpse before she pulled her hoof away.

"I-I can do to the rest myself!"

"What was that? Yellow, do you have a tattoo?" I leaned in and tried to move the sleeve, only for her to slap my hoof away.

"Maybe..." She answered, less than enthusiastically.

"Well can I see it?"

She made a small laugh while rolling her eyes. "Tell you what. I'll show it to you, if you tell me your name..."

I opened my mouth, but found nothing to say. I then lowered my head with a small smile. "Touché, Yellow...touché..."

"Hey!" Slim calmly shouted as he approached us. "Get ready to leave; the other members should be here any minute, and after tonight, I'd gladly let them take over."

"Slim..." I said. "Twofer and Mark Up..."

"I know..." He sighed. "I saw..." He lowered his hat and covered his eyes. "It's my fault. I refused to heed Nor-bel's warnings, I passed them off as silly superstitions, and it ended up costing two stallion's lives because of it. You say the house is free of those 'apparitions' now, with those lenses?"

I nodded. "Yeah, when I looked around with the goggles for a couple minutes, I didn't spot any of them. They must have all been in the dining room."

Slim seemed relieved. "Good... I'll take responsibility for what happened to those two and make sure that the caps made from this venture goes to their families."

"That's surprisingly kind of you." Yellow said, looking up from wrapping the healing-potion-soaked bandage around her hoof.

"Heh, yeah well...after unknowingly sending two ponies to their deaths; you start to feel very, very old..." He shook his head. "Enough of my babble, I'll let you get ready." He then walked away to the others, then stopped and looked back to me. "Wait... I never mentioned Twofer and Mark Up's names."

"Uh..." Crap! I couldn't think of what to say.

However, Slim shook his head before walking away. "Never mind, doesn't matter."

Relieved, I turned to Yellow and saw she was still bandaging her hoof. "You gonna be done there some time soon?"

"I can--ugh--I can do it." She had to use her mouth and free hoof to wrap the injured one, I could see that it would take her a while.

I softly chucked, then climbed into the back of one of the wagons where I then pulled out the recollector and last memory orb. If we were going to leave, I might as well see what's on this.

oooOOOooo

To my shock, I wasn't in Harrow this time; in fact I wasn't even a stallion! Instead I found myself to be in a foal's body; before me was a mirror, and I could see whose memory this was.

Starting back at me was Jewel Gift; she was wearing the recollector on her head. The filly was in her room and seemed to be admiring herself, constantly adjusting the recollector.

Jewel smiled when got it to her liking. "Just like Princess Luna." She then moved over to the small table where stuffed animal's have taken a seat. "The royal tea party has begun." Right when she reached for the plastic teapot, a voice could be heard from behind the door.

"Jewel Gift?"

She looked to the door. "Yeah, daddy?"

"Have you seen your uncle Trotter's recollector? You know, that metal thing he puts on his head."

Jewel Gift moved her hoof up and felt it. "Uh...no."

"Oh. Well if you see it, you mind telling me?"

"Ok!" I could hear hoofsteps walking away. Once Harrow was gone, Jewel went back to her tea party. A minute later she sighed, seeming bored. "I wish there was somepony here to play with..."

Seconds later, there was a thump at her window. The filly curiously turned to it, got up, and opened it. She jumped when something fell in, at first I though they were bugs, but when Jewel got a closer look, I could see that they appeared to be a very tiny, very thin ponies with insect wings and antenna.

One of the creatures got up, then said something to Jewel; to me, it sounded like gibberish, but Jewel seemed to understand it.

"Oh, you're welcome. Why were you all outside the window?" The creature spoke again. "The wind blew you away? Heh, you're so tiny. You wanna join my tea party?" The creature seemed reluctant but gave in when Jewel Gift unwrapped a snack cake that was on the table.

The small creatures floated onto the table, then nibbled on small pieces of the snack cake, all this while Jewel served them imaginary tea. Moments later, Harrow's voice returned from behind the door.

"Jewel Gift, maybe it's in--" Right when the door knob was turning, the creatures suddenly jumped into the air and flew out the window. "--here. Oh...you did have it. Are you playing princess again?" He smiled as Jewel walked to the window and looked out. "What are you looking at, sweetie?"

"My friends, they just left..."

Harrow chuckled."You know sweetie, it's ok to have an imaginary friend or two."

Jewel hit her father's leg, causing him to laugh. "Their not imaginary! They were here!"

"Ok, ok, I believe you. I just need to borrow the crown really quick."

Right as her father was about to remove it, Jewels eyes looked over her father's shoulders and towards the window where a lot more of the creatures had gathered; a smile appeared on her face.

oooOOOooo

I placed the recollector in my saddlebags, then hopped out of the wagon where Yellow was awaiting me; her leg fully bandaged. The sky was starting to get brighter, as the sun rose behind the clouds.

"Ready to get the colts home, then head back to Tenpony?" I said, getting a nod from her. "We might still be able to catch Jackpot before he continues his route."

Once we got the colts, we separated from the guild members and walked towards the gates.

"You're not gonna tell our parents...are you?" Gag Pun nervously said.

Without skipping a beat, I replied. "Oh defiantly! " They had a look of pure terror on their little faces, causing Yellow and I to laugh. "For a bit there, you had Yellow and I believing that there were actual gho--" I looked back to the mansion, where I spotted a figure looking down at us from one of the windows. It's expression was blank and it kinda looked like...like Jewel Gift. I quickly looked away and picked up the pace away from the mansion. "Nope nope nope nope nope nope SO MUCH NOPE!"

Yellow and the colts sped up to keep up with me.

"P.I., what's wrong?"

* * *

Footnote: Level Up

New Perk Added--Companion Dynamic (1): With each rank of this perk, you and your companion gain +1 to all stats whenever she is currently in the party.

Chapter 5 : City of Addictions

Chapter 5 : City of Addictions

It was well past midnight when two stallions walked down the hallway side by side. One was an earth pony in the prime of his life, while the other was a unicorn whose mane was beginning to gray.

"Here you are, sir." The younger one said as he opened the door at the end of the hall, revealing a lavish looking bedroom.

Every piece of furniture inside the room was in near perfect condition, which was rare to find in post-apocalypses Equestria. What always grabbed a visitor's eye was the large king sized bed with satin sheets that rested atop the well kept shag carpet. The air in the room had a scent that was similar to that of cologne and bourbon.

The older one yawned as he walked into his room, he wasn't as young as he used to be, as back in his youth around this time of night he would have been busy with three or four mares on that same bed. Just thinking back to those times brought a smile to the old unicorn's face.

As the unicorn started putting on his satin pajamas, he noticed a look of concern on the young earth pony's face.

"Something the matter, Knock Out?" Asked the older stallion. "You seem...tense."

Knock Out considered not telling him, but decided it was better if he voiced his concerns. "There's been talk, Mr. Parlor. Mostly whispers and hushed tones, but it seems that your recent decision has upset alot of players in the town. I know it isn't much, but it's got me feeling as if something bad is about to happen..."

Mr. Parlor lightly chuckled. "And is that why you escorted me to my room?"

Knock Out nodded to the older stallion, his face constantly neutral. "Of course, sir."

Now that he finished dressing into his pajamas, Mr. Parlor placed a reassuring hoof on Knock Out's shoulder. "I appreciate your concern, but we have eight floors beneath us just full of our guys. If somepony is foolish enough to even think of getting to me, they'd have to go through them first." He patted Knock Out's shoulder. "All of that talk you've been hearing, it's just that, talk. Go get yourself some rest."

Knock Out was quick to speak up. "But, sir! I--"

Mr. Parlor raised a hoof, prompting Knock Out to be silent, then spoke in an informative and slightly authoritative voice. "We are the largest of the three major families in this town, and nopony, I mean nopony messes with us. You got that?"

The earth pony silently nodded.

Mr. Parlor took a deep, calming breath, then spoke in his more calmer tone. "It's late, go get some sleep. If it makes you feel any better, we'll discuss those rumors in the morning."

Knock Out was silent for a few seconds, then nodded and turned towards the hallway. "Ok, Mr. Parlor. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Once Knock Out was halfway down the hallway, Mr. Parlor closed the door, turned off the lights, and headed straight to the bed.

Now tucked in, the older stallion contemplated over what was said. He valued Knock Out's opinion, but knew that he sometimes gets a little too 'overprotective' when it came to Mr. Parlor's safety. But then again, Knock Out has always been like that for as long as Mr. Parlor knew him.

Right when the stallion was on the precipice of sleep, a voice whispered from the shadows caused him to tense up.

"He's right, you know." The voice was female, and as Mr. Parlor turned towards it, he saw floating in the darkness, a silenced pistol pointed right at him surrounded by a red aura. "Something bad IS gonna happen."

Mr. Parlor scowled; this wasn't the first time he was at the other end of a gun. He tried to get a good look at his assassin, but because of the darkness, all he could make out was the weapon.

"Who sent you?" Asked Mr. Parlor, more annoyed than scared.

The female assassin chuckled before she pulled the gun's safety. "Oh I'm sure they'll tell you, in Tartarus."

"Or, I can ask you!" The stallion shouted as he surprised the assassin by swatting the gun aside before it fired. The bullet missed its intended target being right between Mr. Parlor's eyes, and instead lodged itself into his shoulder, causing him to shout in pain before he bucked into the darkness where the voice came from, knocking the assassin down.

The mare was actually shocked that the old stallion even took that risk and succeeded! Right when she got back up, she heard voices being shouted throughout the building.

"What was that!?"

"That sounded like the boss!"

"Everypony upstairs!"

Mr. Parlor's ponies had heard his shout, causing the assassin to fanatically look for the gun that she just dropped so she could kill Mr. Parlor and escape before they got here.

"Looking for this?" Said Mr. Parlor as he raised the silenced pistol, now coated in his own magical aura.

"Shit!" The assassin cursed as she made for the door.

Mr. Parlor shot the gun at where he assumed the assassin was, but ended up missing because of the lack of light. He was then nearly blinded when the mare opened the door, allowing the light from the hallway to enter. With Mr. Parlor shielding his eyes, all he could make out was the silhouette of the unicorn mare before she trotted down the hallway, then turned the corner opposite of the approaching ponies.

A smile spread over the stallion's muzzle as he ran down the hallway while clutching his bleeding shoulder. Once Knock Out and the other ponies reached him, he pointed towards the hallway the mare just ran through.

"The bitch ran down that hallway! She's gonna end up trapped on the roof! Get her, I want to know who sent her!"

Once they reached the end of the hallway the mare ran through, with his ponies behind him, Mr. Parlor yelled towards the door at the top of the ascending stairs.

"You got nowhere to run! You either jump off the building, or you tell me who sent you and I might just have my boys have a little fun with you instead of killing you!"

No response.

He turned to Knock Out and the other ponies, then gestured towards the door with a tilt of his head. "Go get her."

One by one, Mr. Parlor's ponies climbed the stairs and through the door. A minute later, Knock Out appeared at the doorway, looking down towards Mr. Parlor. "Sir, you might want to come up here."

Mr. Parlor grimaced. "She didn't jump, did she?"

Knock Out merely shook his head, prompting Mr. Parlor to climb the stairs and onto the roof. The older stallion then saw that his ponies were looking around the side of the building and behind humongous AC units.

Confused as to why the assassin wasn't brought to him by now, Mr. Parlor turned towards Knock Out. "Where is she?"

The earth pony stallion shook his head. "We don't know. She didn't jump off, otherwise we'd have spotted her off the side. She's just... gone."

"Gone!?" Mr. Parlor was practically fuming with rage, then began shouting, his voice echoing far into the night.

"I WANT YOU ALL TO FIND THAT BITCH! YOU HEAR ME!? FIND HER!"

Fallout Equestria: Private I.

Chapter 5: City of Addictions

"You have a very nice town an' all, but we have a HUGE problem!"

* * *

"Wait? So those things weren't ghosts?"

"Well that's what P.I. says." Yellow said, responding to Homage's question.

It had been a day since we got back from the incident at the Horror House, and both Homage and Taffeta were sitting on my office couch, listening to Yellow's dramatic retelling of what transpired in the mansion. Homage was here to see if the events were newsworthy enough to pass along to the DJ, while Taffeta had came simply because the filly loved to hear of my latest cases--she even brought the usual milk and cookies for this occasion.

I sat behind my desk, occasionally munching on one of Taffeta's heart shaped home-made cookies, pretending to read a book while correcting some things in Yellow's story, and occasionally glancing at the steel gray mare. Strangely, as Yellow was ending her story, I couldn't help but notice that she left out the part where she single-hoofly took down a raider while unarmed.

"So what had you scared at the end there, P.I.?" Taffeta asked, beaming a smile at my direction.

I looked up from the book, and smiled nervously towards the filly while softly shaking my head. "N-nothing... It was nothing." I started sipping from the glass of brahmin milk in order to avoid being asked again.

Yellow balked. "Nothing!? I've never heard somepony say 'nope' so many times!"

Homage chuckled. "Oh come on, P.I.! Tell us! It must have been something."

Oh, that smile of hers... I placed the glass down, then propped the book open, set it upright, and used it to hide my blushing face.

"No, seriously. It was nothing. Just my eyes playing tricks on me." I couldn't tell them, they wouldn't believe me. Heck, I had trouble believing it myself!

After several minutes of the two mares interrogating me, Homage got up from the couch. "Alright, I'm heading back now. Gonna see if Pon3 likes your story."

"Oh!" Taffeta exclaimed, as if she remembered something. "I have to go back too, Father is expecting me!" The filly then jumped off the couch and surprised me when she actually took the time to go around the desk just to give me a hug. "I'll see you later, P.I.!"

"Uh...?" I uttered as I awkwardly returned the gesture. Turning to the other mares, I noticed that both Homage and Yellow were watching with sly grins on their faces.

"Another story when you get back from your next case. Ok, P.I.?" The filly said with a quick nuzzle before she dashed out of my office.

Once the door closed, Yellow and Homage looked to one another and released an "Aww" almost in unison.

"What?" I asked, confused as to why they just did that.

"That was adorable!" Yellow said to Homage, ignoring me.

Homage responded with a chuckle. "I know! They grow up so fast!"

"Hello?" I said, once again being ignored as the two mares continued to gossip about whatever it was that I seemed to have missed. After several more failed attempts to get their attention, I slammed the book before me shut as hard as I could, startling both of the mares. Satisfied that their eyes were now focused on me, I tilted my head to the side. "So uhh," I clicked my tongue, "what are we talking about here?"

Homage's smile grew before she turned to Yellow. "Really? He doesn't know?"

Yellow shook her head with a smile. "Heh, for a detective, P.I. can be really dense sometimes."

"And what's that supposed to mean!?" I replied, starting to feel a little annoyed. They giggled. "What's so funny!?"

The mares grinned at one another, then Homage turned to me while rolling her eyes. "Say, uh...,P.I.? How long has Taffeta been like that with you?"

"Been like what?" I asked. They were giggling because of Taffeta?

"Oh you know..." Homage smiled as she scratched her cheek while using her magic to lift one of the left over heart-shaped cookies. "How often does she make you these, and...hug you like that?"

In order to avoid blushing from looking at Homage's smile, I reclined in my chair and stared at the ceiling as I thought of every instance Taffeta did those. The most recent hug I could think of (other than just now) was when Yellow first showed up in my office; the earliest would be after I saved her back in Friendship City and returned her to Ribbon Cutter. Huh...thinking about it, every time I came back to the tower, Taffeta would almost always be the first one to greet me. She would then beg me for the details of the case I just returned from, bribe me with the cookies, then hugs me after I finished telling it. I mean, thinking about it now, it does seem a little odd...but isn't that what fillies her age do anyway?

I looked back to Homage, then gave my answer. "All the time, why?"

Upon hearing my answer, Homage's face lit up. She turned to Yellow who was also smiling, then turned back to me. "Oh, P.I., you casanova!"

"What?" I said with confusion, somehow causing the mares to burst into laughter.

I just sat there and waited for the two of them to finish their laughter. Whatever their inside joke was, it was funny enough to cause them to roll on the floor while holding their sides. Occasionally, they would shout something like "How does he not know!? He--he's a--he's a detective--and he doesn't know!" or "It--it's so obvious!"

I was so glad a couple minute later when their laughter finally died down.

"Oh Goddesses." Homage said as she got up and wiped a tear from her eye. "It's been a while since I've laughed like that."

"Same. Kinda wish I was in on the joke, so I could as well..." I replied sarcastically.

Homage then opened the door, and turned to me as she stood by it. "Heh, maybe next time. I'll see you two later."

"Wait!" I shouted, stopping Homage who was halfway through the doorway.

The gray mare turned back to me, a puzzled expression on her muzzle. "Yeah? Is there something else?"

Ok, P.I. You're never going to get anywhere with Homage if you don't at least try to make an attempt.

After a few seconds of staring at the mare with my mouth open, I was finally able to force the words out. "Um...Homage?" I started rubbing the back of my head while my eyes wandered everywhere except Homage. "I was wondering if uh..." Looking at Yellow, I noticed she was watching me with a smirk; she knew what I was trying to do. "I was wondering if you'd like to uh..." Don't get nervous, P.I. Don't get nervous...

"Like to...?" Homage added.

YOU'RE GETTING NERVOUS! JUST FINISH THIS SENTENCE BEFORE SHE THINKS YOU'RE WEIRD!

"If you'd like to...hang out...sometime?"

"Sure."

STUPID P.I.! STUPID STUPID! YOU WERE TOO FORWARD! NOW SHE'LL NEVER WANNA COME BACK HERE AGAIN, AND--wait, what?

"What?" I asked, completely dumbfounded.

Homage stared right at me and responded while casting a smile towards me that caused my body to feel as if it had just become lighter. "I said 'sure'."

Ok, P.I! She said yes. Now don't smile like an idiot. Don't smile like an--you're smiling like an idiot...

"I--um, g-great!" Smooth, P.I.

Homage nodded. "Just give me a couple hours to finish helping DJ Pon3. I'm sure I'll have some free time after that, can you wait till then?"

I could not have nodded any quicker! Seriously, I think I was distorting light!

"Alright." Homage continued as she stepped out, where she said one last thing before closing the door. "I'm sure we can find something fun for all three of us to do. See you two in a few hours!"

I just sat there and stared at the door with my eyes wide and my mouth hanging open, mentally repeating four words Homage said over and over.

'All three of us...'

Once Homage was undoublty out of hearing range, Yellow tuned to me, said "Aww", then jumped onto the couch and started another round of laughing fits.

Ok...maybe I can still work with this... Maybe, maybe I can still somehow win over Homage, regardless of Yellow being the third wheel. Despite trying to think positively, a voice from within spoke rhetorically.

Really? Can you really?

* * *

"--Welcome spring!~ And all things warm and green!~ But it's also time to say--Aw, fuck!"

My one-stallion-performance was cut short when shampoo had gotten into my eyes, blinding me. I quickly thrusted my hoof around the shower curtain and blindly fumbled it towards the sink where I left the towel. Finding it, I moved my face away from the torrent of lukewarm water jutting from the nozzle installed in the wall, then used the towel to wipe my eyes. Once the pain had subsided, I resumed my shower.

It's been an hour and a half since Homage left the office, but it didn't take long for me to immediately get ready for her arrival. This was my first time spending time with Homage that wasn't business related, and I wanted everything to be perfect for when she arrives; I cleaned and pressed my suit, made sure I had enough spending caps for whatever it is we decided to do, I even visited one of the shops in the tower for a fancy tube of toothpaste that had a picture of a blue smiling unicorn with a darker-blue and white mane on the box, and this very same shampoo I'm using. The stuff was very expensive, but hey, it's Homage I'm hanging out with! Homage! (Mmm, apple scented.)

Minutes later, I stepped out of the bathroom with my hat atop my head and fully dressed in my now clean shirt, vest, and tie. I then turned to Yellow, who was sitting behind my desk, reading one of my Detective Pretext novels. She had already showered before me (which I insisted multiple times for her to do so) and was still wearing her Stable barding and bulletproof vest. Earlier, I had offered to buy her something more presentable to wear, but she refused, saying, and I quote "We're just gonna hang out with her, P.I. We're not going to some gala."

Thankfully, I didn't tell her what was on my mind when she said that, which was 'Yeah, well...hanging out can lead...to...to possibly dating!'

I then sat on the couch and waited patiently till Homage arrived, silently starring at dead space ahead of me while planning on how to behave around the gray mare. Coincidentally, the dead space ahead of me happened to be in the same direction as Yellow.

Moments later, the amber mare raised her eyes over the book, examined me for a few seconds, then raised a brow. "Uh? Are you just gonna sit there and do nothing until she comes back?"

"Maybe." I responded simply, still staring ahead.

"It's kinda creepy."

Well, since I'm waiting for Homage, I might as well mess with Yellow...for funsies. I continued to silently stare at her, this time purposely keeping myself from blinking as best I could.

Confused, Yellow unknowingly had a staring contest with me which she didn't know she lost. She then raised the book to block me from her sight, but seconds later, slammed it to the desk.

"Ok, stop it!" Yellow said, sounding annoyed. "I can feel you staring." Her reaction caused my neutral expression to break into a smile. Her voice then deadpanned. "You're doing this on purpose...aren't you?"

"Maybe." I said in the same manner as before, causing Yellow grunt in exasperation.

I chortled for a few seconds, but stopped when I heard hoofsteps at the door, followed by the sound of knocking. I immediately jumped and reached for the door, but stopped, then waited for her to knock a second time; don't want to seem too eager.

After making sure my suit was spotless, I then opened the door with an unintentional smile on my muzzle...that then faltered when I saw it wasn't Homage.

Instead, standing outside of my office was an ebony coated earth pony stallion with a white mane and tail--his mane was greased back--also, in the center of his face, bellow his azure eyes yet just above his muzzle, was a white spot almost in the shape of a diamond. He was slightly taller than me, was more muscularly built, and four...maybe five years older. I also noticed that the way he was dressed very similar to me, only, he lacked the hat, had a black shirt that almost matched his fur, and the vest was white with a tie that matched his eye color.

"You're definitely not Homage." I said, quickly deflating from my earlier excitement.

The stallion had his face forward, yet looked down to me while barely raising one of his brows. "Are you the same detective from the radio?" He asked, his voice and expression completely neutral.

"Yeah...that's me. And who are you?"

He calmly shook his head. "Who I am is of no importance. I'm here on my employer's behalf to hire you for your services."

Oh no, not a job now! "Uh, listen. I'm kinda going somewhere in a bit. Can you set up an appointment or reschedule?"

He raised his brow again as he barely tilted his head before responding. "You're gonna have to speak to my employer about that..."

I turned to the door and gently slammed my head against it. "Of course." I said with a huff. "Is he just outside or something so we can schedule the meeting real quick?" I could see him nodding through the corner of my eye.

"Follow me, I'll take you to him." He then turned and headed for the elevator.

After a few steps following him, I heard the door close behind me along with Yellow's voice. "Hold on! I'm coming too!"

"Why?" I asked as she caught up to me.

"Hey! I've been cooped up in that room since morning; I'll take any excuse to walk around for a bit."

"Fine." I reluctantly said. I wanted her to stay in the office in case Homage showed up, but I knew she wouldn't listen. "But as soon as I'm done with this client, I want you to go running back to the office. Quick, alright? Quicker than the elevator would take you, in fact, don't even take the elevator! I want you to outrun it on the stairs!" Judging by her expression, she couldn't tell if I was being serious or not...which I was.

We then followed the stallion into the elevator, where I got a glimpse at the stallion's cutie mark. The depiction on his flank was of five star shapes that had thin white lines trailing behind them as they all orbited around nothing in particular.

When all three of us exited the tower, the stallion then led us to something on the Celestia line that I didn't think I'd ever see. A carriage. An actual, pristine carriage. It was jet black with sliver outlining the tinted windows, and the wood was polished to the point where I could see my reflection; I couldn't tell if somepony had taken the time to fully restore it, or simply made a new one from scratch. The carriage was hooked up to four stallions while two others sat at both sides of its door, similarly dressed as the stallion and both armed. When the armed ones saw us, the stallion with us nodded to them. The guards nodded back then opened the carriage door, revealing a red felt interior and...nopony? Where was the stallion's employer?

"Huh?" Yellow muttered as we both turned to the dark stallion in confusion. "Where's your boss?"

"Get in." The stallion said simply.

"Whoa there." I interjected. "You said your employer was--"

"Get. In." The stallion repeated, this time more stern.

There was something in his voice and a look in the armed ponies' eyes that hinted that if we were to disobey, something might happen to us.

"Can't I at least grab my coat upstairs?" The stallion's response to my question came in the form of a hard glare.

Yellow had picked up the tension in the air then leaned towards me and whispered through gritted teeth. "P.I., I think we should listen to the guy..."

I looked at Yellow, then back to the tower. "Homage..." I silently muttered before Yellow and I stepped into the carriage. What could we do? The tower's guards were behind the gate and couldn't see what was going on here, also, Yellow and I had left our guns back in the office. However, I knew Yellow and I were safe for the time being, because whoever these ponies were, they wanted me for something...

* * *

An hour later, Yellow and I sat next to each other in the carriage as it rocked every now and then, occasionally we would hear a thump above us; probably the two armed ponies keeping watch as we headed towards our mysterious destination. My uh...'client' sat across from us, forelegs crossed and eyes closed; I could tell he wasn't sleeping. My guess was that he pretended to be asleep so we wouldn't bother asking him questions; he obviously never met somepony like Yellow. Despite the constant barrage of questions she asked of him, like 'Who are you?' and 'Where are we going?' he maintained his silence. Eventually, Yellow shut up and looked out the window to soak in the picturesque view of the wasteland...which she then quickly grew tired of.

"Uh, P.I.?" Yellow asked.

"Hmm?" I didn't even turn to her; I was too busy looking out the window, moping over what could have been an awesome time with Homage.

Yellow continued. "Can you turn the radio on or something? A little music to make this, oh I don't know...less boring?"

Still looking out the window, I did just that. I expected music, but what I got instead was the masculine voice of DJ Pon3 giving the wasteland today's news. What I wouldn't give for it to be Homage's voice...

From what the DJ was saying, apparently, two ponies had left their Stable and one of them miraculously took out the raiders that were in the ruins of Ponyville, while the other was spotted near a slaver settlement. That last part caused me to bite my lip; I couldn't tell if it was the same mare I told Homage about earlier: the one I kinda saw on my way to Woodtrot. If it was, I have no idea how Homage and the DJ were able to deduce that the mare was from a Stable. I had mixed feelings about the other Stable pony, I mean, who walks fresh out of a Stable and just kills all of the raiders in an area? This pony was either extremely lucky, stupid, or just flat out mad! Heck, for all I know, it's a cocktail of all three!

After Pon3's news report, Sapphire Shores' song replaced the awkward silence in the carriage.

* * *

A series of deliberate thumps and a voice from the top of the carriage broke me from my stupor.

"We've arrived!"

Looking at the stallion across from me, I saw his eyes open, look out the window, then back to me.

I got the feeling he wasn't going to explain where we were, so I looked out the window. From what I could see, we appeared to be in a settlement built out of a series of strip malls and other pre-war businesses. As we passed by them, I could see that almost all of the buildings had ponies entering and leaving them, however, there seemed to be something 'off' with a lot of them. I could see that there were plenty of bars and eating establishments set up, yet a small majority of them seemed malnourished and wandered around almost as if in a trance.

"P.I.! Look at this!" Yellow exclaimed.

"What is it?" I asked as I saw that she was pointing out the window on her side. Looking through it, I actually pressed my face against the window as I spotted what Yellow thought I had to see.

The carriage was passing by a multi-story parking complex that had two banners flanking the entrance, on them was the image of a white snowflake over a silver six-pointed star, all within a white circle while six silver branches filled in the rest of the purple flag.

Inside the complex, I could see several, well...the best way to describe them would be 'shiny earth ponies'. Several of them wore what appeared to be armor I once saw in a book that closely resembled what pre-war guards of the princesses' would wear. However, these had some slight design changes that made them more suited for use in the wasteland, for instance: there seemed to be some kind of protective padding that covered the legs and neck area, and a series of hooks and grooves that secured the battle saddles placed over them. Lastly, I also spotted...shiny griffins? The heck? Two were standing under the banners, guarding the entrance and were shining more than the ponies but were also partially transparent. Uh...ok? Their armor's design was similar to the ponies', but was either modified or custom made to fit them and make room for their wings.

"Is that the Crystal Empire!?" I excitedly asked as I turned to the stallion who brought us here, almost as if he were a tour guide.

Of course he didn't answer... I sat back in my seat when the parking complex slid out of view. Minutes later, the carriage came to a stop and its door opened. The dark, diamond faced stallion got up and exited the carriage, then waited beside the two armed guards for Yellow and I to exit as well. Doing so revealed that our destination ended at what used to be some fancy restaurant; apparently it was nice enough to be its own separate building, unlike the other stores in the strip mall that had to sit adjacent to one another. There were enough letters in the restaurant's title that had survived the centuries for me to guess the name. Gourmet's House of Gourmet. Hmm, clever...

The stallion then walked towards the building with Yellow and I closely behind him; the two armed ponies behind us was enough incentive for us to follow. Passing through the thick oak doors, we stood in what was the restaurant's waiting room where two more well dressed stallions (also armed) stood at both sides of the door leading into the other room. The stallion who led us here then turned to us.

"My employer is just behind these doors." Huh, what do you know, he does talk. And here I thought he forgot how. "You will speak politely to him, answer any and all questions he may ask of you, and you will address him as 'Sir' or 'Mr.', understood?"

"Yeah, yeah..." I irritably said with a roll of my eyes. My response caused him to glare at me. Hey! I had plans earlier, you dick... Excuse me if I seem to be in a mood.

The stallion and I merely locked eyes for a few seconds before he broke off to open the door to the other room. I couldn't see much through the doorway; all of the curtains in the restaurant were shut, blocking off the natural light from outside, however, there was an empty wine bottle with a lit candle placed in it that created a small oasis of light in the center of the room. The candle as resting over a table with a plaid tablecloth over it where an older unicorn stallion was enjoying a meal of steamed pasta with tomato sauce and chopped vegetables mixed in it, besides that was a glass full of dark liquid that I'm assuming is wine. The unicorn seemed to be around his late fifties, had a light purple coat, along with a short dark-blue mane that was starting to gray in certain spots which perfectly complimented his graying stubble beard. He was wearing a white, long sleeved collared shirt with black suspenders...that weren't suspending anything at all? Huh, must be sewn onto the shirt itself.

The unicorn used his magic to lift a fork, stuck it in some of the noodles, twisted it, stabbed a carrot slice, then brought the fork to his mouth with the food in tow. As the stallion chewed, he looked towards us, then raised a hoof and waved us over. Once we got close enough, the doors behind us closed, and he gestured to the empty seat opposite of him. Yellow and I just stood where we were and looked at each other with perplexed expressions on our faces, then to the single chair.

"Do we...share?" I asked Yellow, who just shrugged in return.

The older unicorn made an amused sound as the fork clanged against the plate when he stabbed at his meal again, he then turned to his side and whispered to somepony whose face suddenly appeared from the darkness. The new pony listened the unicorn's words, nodded, then disappeared from view again, seconds later, he reappeared with another chair.

Now that we each had one, Yellow and I took our seats. The dark earth pony with the diamond shaped spot on his face then walked over to the unicorn and began whispering into his ear. The graying stallion continued to chew as he listened, when the earth pony finished, he remained by the unicorn's side who was starting to wipe his mouth with a napkin.

Finally, the older unicorn spoke, his voice slightly gruff, yet modulated. "The trip here was a long one. You two must be famished."

I remained silent as I crossed my forelegs and cocked my head slightly with a hint of annoyance on my face, meanwhile, Yellow spoke. "I could eat."

The unicorn smiled. "Allow me." He then tapped the table with a hoof, causing multiple sets of hooves to extend from out of the faint light's reach and place two plates of the same meal as the stallion's before us. Ok, despite the E.F.S. showing them earlier, that did kind of startle me a bit.

I did want to stay mad, but truth was, I am kind of hungry; my resolve was quickly diminishing once the meal's steam collected in the back of my nasal cavities, allowing me to taste it before even getting a bite in. I could see that Yellow was already digging into her food. She was having trouble with the fork, for she was carefully using both of her forehooves to maneuver the fork into the pasta. When she finally did managed to twist up the noodles, her expression became one of envy when she saw me effortlessly pick up the utensil with one hoof, then quickly used it to wind up the noodles.

"What? You never practice with your hooves?" I said with a sly smile before bringing the food to my open mouth. A couple bites and I could already tell that all of the ingredients used in the meal were from a can; I tasted more preservatives than tomato sauce.

Yellow seemed awestruck as she stared at the fork held by my hoof, then looked at the one between her own hooves. She tried to get the spooled up noodles into her mouth, but lacked the flexibility to do so without causing the fork to drop. I could already imagine what was going on in her mind. 'How am I supposed to get this to my mouth?' She eventually did drop the fork, and ended just lowering her face to the plate.

I wanted to continue eating, but thought it best if I knew why we were brought here. I placed the fork beside the plate, rested my elbows on the table, tented my forehooves, then placed my chin over them as I stared at my true 'client'. "So...you're in need of a detective. And you are?"

The unicorn lightly smiled as he peered at the carrot slice impaled at the end of his fork before placing it in his mouth, he responded when he finished chewing. "My name's Pool Parlor."

"So, Poo--" I noticed the stallion beside him suddenly glare at me. "Mr. Pool Parlor... Who are you? The security, the meal," I gestured my head towards the diamond faced stallion, "this guy. It's obvious you're a stallion of a high position, but of what?"

Parlor chuckled. "Aren't you curious as to where you are?"

"Avarice." I answered immediately, causing Pool Parlor to raise a brow. "Hey, your buddy here kidnapped a detective, remember?" Actually, my PipBuck informed me of the place's name the second we entered, but I wouldn't tell him that...

Parlor turned to my abductor with an amused expression on his face. "Kidnapped?"

The earth pony responded while facing forward, his expression and voice unwavering. "You wanted him immediately, Mr. Parlor."

The unicorn turned back to me and shrugged while smirking. "Well you're here now, Detective. I apologies if Knock Out took my orders mmm," his eyes scanned the dark abyss that was the ceiling as he circled his hoof in the air, he seemed to be looking for the right words to use, "a bit...literal."

That felt more like a confession than an apology, also, Knock Out? One could only guess what his special talent was with that name and cutie mark.

I released an irritated sigh followed by a 'tsk'. "You know, I had plans today... Then your dude just shows up," I made a gesture to the side that seemed as if I was pushing somepony away, "and whisks me here." I felt like complaining more, but instead decided to just drop the matter entirely; I was getting tired of hearing myself whine. I shook my head and slowly placed a hoof to my forehead. "You know what, forget it. So who are you, Pool Parlor," yeah, I see you giving me the stink eye, Knock Out, I don't care, "and what do you need me for?"

"Let's start with your earlier question: who I am." Parlor took a sip of his wine before continuing. "I guess you could say that I'm the closest thing this town has to a leader."

"'Closest thing'?" I said, puzzled by his choice of words.

Parlor raised the wine glass with his magic, then slowly swiveled it, causing the dark liquid to swirl. "You see, Avarice is a very popular destination spot in this part of the wasteland, and that's because of the three casinos here. Each one is controlled by a family, and I just so happen to run the largest of the three. The Billiards."

I raised a brow. "Casinos, here? In this part of the wasteland?"

Parlor chuckled. "And that's why it's so popular; not everypony is willing to risk their necks traversing the wasteland to get to places like Dise or Las Pegasus for a little fun and gambling. Of course, there's more to Avarice than the casinos, we've got all sorts of entertainment here that keeps the tourists coming back: booze, showmares, showstallions for the mares or if you're into that kind of thing, and a wide variety of substances for uh...recreational uses."

"No need to sugarcoat it, I see what you are." I said as I used my fork to play with the noodles. "Chem dealers."

Parlor grinned. "Guilty as charged, but I prefer the term," he leaned back in his chair before responding, "mmm, 'pharmaceutical salespony'. Is that going to be a problem?"

I lightly shook my head before calmly responding. "No, not really. I'd still like to know what it is you want from me."

The unicorn shrugged. "Hmm, fair enough. Let me skip to the point; last night, somepony tired to do me in. Clearly they failed, but they left this for me to remember them by." He then pulled his shirt back by its collar and revealed a small round scar devoid of fur in his shoulder area; clearly it was mended by a healing potion.

I winced. "Ooh, that must have hurt. I still don't see why you need me, I mean, you must have caught the pony who tried it, what with all of this security I'm seeing."

He shook his head. "Nope. She got away, and I don't even know how."

Parlor then told me the entire story of what happened last night; a unicorn mare somehow slipping by all of Parlor's ponies, getting into his room that was several stories up in the main building him and his Billiards live in, the unicorn mare's red magical aura, her botched assassination, and finally, her mysterious escape from the building's roof.

"And you didn't get a good look at her?" I asked.

Parlor responded. "No, too dark, didn't get the chance."

I sighed. "Ok, so...you want me to find the mare who tired to kill you. Why exactly?"

"Isn't it obvious? I want to...question her. Find out who placed the hit, then 'kindly repay them'. I have a few ideas as to who might have hired her, but I want to be sure before I make any decisions."

"'Few ideas'?" I said. "Like who?"

"Oh gee, let me think." Parlor sarcastically replied as he rolled his eyes with a smile. "Mm, the first thing that comes to my mind are the other two major families. They're not as large as the Billiards, but they're the only ones who would gain anything from my death."

"And why's that?" I asked.

Parlor spoke as he rubbed a hoof on his chest, then examined it. "Might be because they're in the same business as the Billiards; casinos, chems, the whole shebang. Difference is they have some stock and services exclusive to their group," he smiled towards me, "but...it's vice versa."

I tilted my hat a bit. "Alright, I think I see what they were trying to accomplish; they're not big on competition...are they?"

He grinned. "Heh, kill me and the Billiards will be severely weakened." He gestured to diamond faced stallion who's been glaring at me this whole time. "Knock Out may be my second, but he's not ready to become head of the family just yet; still green when it comes to business. If it is them, that explains why they tried to whack me all quiet like. They can't just show up and start shooting at me or my guys; that'd scare away the tourists, bad business for all the families." His smile was then directed towards me as he leaned back in his chair while crossing his forelegs. "And it's because of that reason you're here." He must have caught my furrowed brow, because he continued. "You see, it's like this, the town is separated into three sections, each controlled by a major family. Picture the town as a...a big ice-cream sandwich with three flavors." Uh, strange analogy...but ok... "The west side is controlled by the Headstone Family, the east by the Mini-Caesars, and finally, the Billiards in the middle as the biggest slice."

Slices? I thought the analogy was an ice-cream sandwich? Now it's cake? Or maybe it's pizza...? Buck I could go for some pizza, it'd go great with this pasta. I remember tasting one through a memory orb years ago; the thing was delicious!

You're getting distracted, P.I....

I nodded to make it seem that I was focused. "Mhmm, cakes, of course."

Parlor stared at me for a few seconds, a perplexed expression on his face. "Anyway... Word spread fast about the failed hit, so now both families are afraid of a retaliation from me. They've put their ponies on alert, and if one of my guys even sets foot in their turf, it'll be a warzone."

I'm starting to get the idea of what Parlor wants from me. "You want to hire me just in case she's hiding in one of the other family's territory, just to avoid said 'warzone'."

"Hmm, clever buck. Now I'm not stupid, just because you find her in one of the other families' turf, doesn't mean they're the ones who hired her. That's why I want you to find her and bring her to me so I can hear straight from her mouth just who did. Either do that, or find out who sent her."

Hmm, the goal seems straightforward, but there was one problem. "What if she already left town?" I asked.

Parlor shook his head. "Doubt it. Right after she vanished from my roof, I ordered all of my guys to prevent anypony from leaving Avarice. The Billiards might not be able to enter the other territories, but we can still watch the entrances."

"'Anypony' from leaving?" I questioned, raising a brow. "Does this mean my assistant and I can't leave?"

"Pahrtnur." Yellow muttered with her muzzle stained red and a mouth full of pasta before returning her attention to what was left on her plate. I think that was the only part she picked up out of this entire conversation!

Parlor gave a look to Knock Out, then turned back to me as the diamond faced stallion started to loudly crack his hooves and neck.

"Are you implying that there's a possibility you might not accept my request?" There was a hint of malice hidden in Parlor's tone.

My eyes widened, I could see some of the previously green markers around us turning red.

"W-what?" I stammered as I waved my hooves with a nervous grin on my face. "N-no, no, of course not! I would gladly look for your would-be assassin!" I placed a hoof on Yellow's shoulder and shook it. "Wouldn't we, Yellow?" Come on, Yellow, pleeease look professional!

She turned towards me and...burped...then returned to her meal.

I turned to Parlor and quickly tapped the table. "You hear that? She's up for it!" I calmed down a bit when the red markers became green again.

Parlor nodded. "Good, Detective." He then leaned forward, his forehooves over the table. "I'd get started immediately if I were you. Keeping everypony from leaving would cause the tourists from wanting to return, which would hurt my business. And if I can't take out my aggression on whoever hired the bitch to kill me, well..." He then blew out the candle, leaving us in the darkness. "I'd be angry at the one who failed me..."

"Hey! I'm eating here!" Yellow shouted.

Moments later, a unicorn from out of sight, used their magic to move the curtains aside, allowing the natural light from outside in and revealing that only Yellow and I were left in the building.

"Much better." The amber mare said before lowering her head to the plate, only to be disappointed when her jaw hit ceramic instead. "Aw man. It's all gone." She then looked around, now realizing that some ponies where missing. "Hey? Where is everypony?" She turned to me. "Uh, P.I.?"

"Yeah?" I said, facing forward with an expressionless tone in my voice.

She scratched her mane. "Huh... Did we just get a job?"

I lowered my head. "Yeah..."

"Oh, cool." She said while nodding, then pointed at the unfinished meal before me. "If you're not gonna finish that, can I have it?"

"Yeah." I said as I slid it over to her.

* * *

"We can't leave this town!?" Yellow exclaimed after I gave her the summary of how we came to 'accept' Parlor's job; I wouldn't have had to explain something that happened right in front of her if she weren't so engrossed in wasteland cuisine at the time.

We were both currently on the roof of the building that was once a multi-story office building, but was now where almost all of the Billiards lived. I was a bit surprised when the ponies downstairs just let us in; orders from Parlor must travel fast... Also, I could really do without the Billiard stallion watching us from the stairs.

"Not until we find the assassin." I said, fiddling with one of the giant AC units. I had a hunch that maybe the assassin was able to disappear from the roof was because one of the air conditioners was hollow or led to some secret escape hole leading back down. But after opening all of them, I found nothing but long burnt out talismans, rusted fans, and somewhat melted bits of circuitry.

I grunted as I closed the last AC's hatch. How could the mare have vanished from up here? I already looked around the sides of this building, and as unsafe as it was without them, there where no fire escapes. She couldn't have jumped off to another building, the closest structures were too short for her to avoid either dying or seriously injuring herself. I brought up my PipBuck and consulted the notes it took earlier, maybe it might give me a clue.

Notes Taken
-The assassin is a mare.
-The assassin is a unicorn with a red magical aura. Fur color: ? Mane color: ? Eye color: ?
-The assassin was able to sneak into Parlor's room at night.
-The assassin vanished from the Billiards' home roof.
-With Avarice's exits blocked by the Billiards, the assassin might still be in the town. Possibly hiding out in the east or west sides of Avarice.
-The Mini-Caesars Family (East side) and the Headstone Family (West side) would gain the most from killing Pool Parlor.
-Knock Out is Parlor's successor and next head of the Billiards.

That...didn't help at all... I already knew all this! This was like the PipBuck equivalent of opening the fridge, then wondering why you just did that when you aren't even hungry!

I furiously scratched my mane. I should have been in the tower right now, contemplating over what an awesome time I just had with Homage! But nooo! The universe was like, "Hey! Remember when I complicated your life by throwing Yellow at you? Well now let's have you work for this one pony who makes you fear for more than just your kneecaps if you fail to do his job! Isn't this just grand!?"

No it isn't, universe. No. It. Isn't.

"Uh, you alright, P.I.?" Yellow asked, a mix of confusion and concern etched on her face. "I'm starting to get worried about you."

Great, now I'm scarring Yellow. I took a deep breathe to calm myself. "Yeah...yeah, I'm fine." I then walked over to the roof's edge and rested my upper half on the guard rail. From this height, I could see all of the buildings Avarice was composed of, while bellow me, the ponies walking the streets seemed like life-like miniatures.

My attention was then drawn to two ponies walking down one of the main roads leading out of the town, only to be stopped by a group of sharply dressed ponies. I was too high up to hear what they were saying, but the two ponies seemed to be in a heated argument with the group, however, they were then silenced and slinked back into the town after the well-dressed ponies intimidatingly encircled the two.

Yellow then stood by me and spoke while looking ahead. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Hmm?" I turned in the same direction Yellow was facing and quickly noticed what she meant. Up ahead, far in the horizon, Yellow and I could barely make out half of the shrinking red silhouette that was the sun, constantly obscured by the cloud cover. I'll admit, just watching it slowly go down was calming, and we just stood there and watched as it gradually got darker.

Once the sun had completely vanished, and it was pitch black around us, Yellow spoke. "Heh. The sun, it looks so different... from out here..."

'The sun looks different from out here'? I turned to Yellow, confused. "What? What do you--ah!"

Yellow and I both shielded our eyes when what sounded like a drum being hit once and a blinding light just shot from one of the buildings. At first, I thought the sun just decided to come back and break through the clouds, but when the light moved away from us and my eyes stopped seeing little squiggly lines and dots, it was clear that the light came from a searchlight atop a building with two other searchlights and a humongous sign made from hundreds, maybe thousands of differently colored light-bulbs forming the image of a triangle with fifteen billiards in it. I'm gonna take a guess here and say that judging by all of the ponies entering and leaving the building, along with the name flashing on the building that says 'Parlor's Casino: Games, Chance, Luck, and Fun~' that that was one of the casinos Parlor mentioned, his.

Moments later, two other buildings suddenly rivaled Parlor's casino in terms of brightness; one to the east, and the other to the west. Those were obviously the other two families'.

The searchlight that blinded us before did so again, it and the other two where set to automatically scan the skies in a pre-set pattern; one of the lights just happened to pass slightly above this roof. The three beams of light were powerful enough to form three bright circles under the cloud cover. As I watched them dance under the cloudy canvas, I heard a faint voice coming from somewhere. Sure there was noisy ambiance of ponies on the streets conversing and laughing, but this one was loud enough to catch my attention.

"HEY! YOU TWO UP THERE! IS THIS ANOTHER SHOW LIKE LAST NIGHT'S OR WHAT!? CAUSE WE'RE WAAAITING!"

'You two up there'? Was this directed towards Yellow and me? I quickly scanned the streets below that was being illuminated by the casino's colorfully bright lights from down the street and spotted a stallion standing in front of the small building from across. He was...ok, well I don't really have eagle vision; all I could make out was that he was...light-ish green. I knew it was him who just shouted; he was the only pony who was looking anywhere near my general direction: up. Also, 'show like last night's'? Did he...?

I raised my hoof to shield my eyes from the incoming searchlight, pointed at the stallion far bellow, and tried my best to shout over Avarice's sounds. "YOU STAY RIGHT THERE! I WANNA TALK TO YOU!"

I think he was nodding. "UH...OK!"

Minutes later, I exited the building, panting after running down several flights of stairs. As I tired to catch my breath, I waited for Yellow to catch up; in my excitement, I kinda left her behind, however, I didn't wait long for her to show.

"Oh, hey!" Yellow exclaimed.

I acknowledged her, taking deep breathes to calm my aching lungs. "Wha...what?"

"You outran the elevator."

I deadpanned...my eye might have twitched... I then turned and walked across the street to where the buck had been waiting patiently.

"So when's the show gonna start?" The buck asked.

He was an earth pony with a light green coat...eh, almost milky green, and a dark pink mane and tail. This pony's body was similar to the 'off' ones I'd seen earlier; his mane was a mess, green eyes were sunken and bloodshot, his body had thinned to the point where I could see his ribs, lastly, the muscles on his face and legs would be calm one second, then twitch on the next. It was clear that his body had gotten this way from a long history of chem abuse; judging by the chemical burns around his dry and cracked lips, his chem of choice was Dash.

"You, uh...saw the 'show'...last night?" I questioned.

He nodded. "Mhmm, that was SOME stunt!" He then gestured to the air at both of his sides. "Me and my buddies here saw the whole thing! We were applausing an' everything!"

Yellow and I looked to the left of the stallion, then the right; when we saw there was nopony there, we then turned to each other and shrugged.

I drawled as I scratched at the back of my head. "Yeeeah...about that...uh...you see..." I then got an idea. "Oh! We can't do that stunt again because the pony who did it got hurt in the middle of it."

The stallion seemed surprised. "Oh, really? But it looked like she was fine when it ended..."

I quickly responded while I shook my head. "Well that just shows how dedicated she was to her performance. But no, something went wrong and ended up getting her hurt." I tapped Yellow's shoulder with my elbow. "Isn't that right, Yellow?"

The Stable pony looked at me confused, but her eyes quickly widened and her lips mouthed an 'oh'. "Right, yeah!" Yellow said, surprising me that she caught on this quick. "You mind telling us how the whole thing went down. You know, just to see if you and uh...," she gestured to the empty space on both of his sides, "your friends saw anything weird."

"Eh...I might have." The stallion said as he slowly rolled his eyes and scratched his chin.

So it was gonna be like that huh? I then reached into my vest pocket and pulled out a sack of caps that I was planing to maybe buy Homage something to eat as I was hanging out with her.

The stallion continued after I shook out five caps and handed them to him. Ugh...kinda feel like I'm enabling... "Uh...at first, I didn't know there was even a show starting until I heard all this yelling last night. It was coming from on top of the building, so when I looked up, I saw a mare standing behind the guardrail. When I saw her, the first thing going through my mind was 'Wow, is this broad trying to off herself!?'"

"And what gave it away that it was all an act?" I asked.

"Well the spotlight went over her, and I could tell she wasn't crying or nothin', she was completely calm an' everything. Heck, I think she was smiling!"

"So what happened then?" Questioned Yellow.

"Well...she jumped." The stallion plainly said.

My head cocked and my brow furrowed before I responded. "That's it?"

His response was, "Then she flew." He said that as if it were a normal occurrence to see...

"Wait, what?" I said, completely perplexed. Parlor said there wasn't a mare shaped splat anywhere near the building, but...'flew'? Ok, maybe we need to backtrack a bit here. Might have to confirm if what he saw was legit. "Uh, the mare. Could you tell if she was an earth pony or a unicorn?"

"How do you not know? Don't you work with her?" The stallion asked.

My eyes quickly scanned around as I voiced the first excuse that came to mind. "Uh...I'm new."

He eyed me for a couple seconds before he smiled and pointed at me "Oh, I get it now! It's stunt doubles, isn't it!?"

...I could work with this. "Oh no! You figured it out!" I said, feigning surprise. "So which one did you see on the roof?"

"Uh, the one on the roof was a unicorn...uh--red. Red with uh...a...a blue mane."

After he finished that sentence, a new notification appeared on my E.F.S.

Notes Updated

-The assassin is a unicorn with a red magical aura. Fur color: Red. Mane color: Blue. Eye color: ?

Well, he saw a red unicorn mare, so it must have been the assassin. Still... I couldn't wrap my head around the whole 'flew' thing.

"Uh, sir?" I said to the stallion.

He tilted his head. "Hmm?"

"You're positive you saw a mare up there last night?"

He nodded once. "Yeah."

I stared at the buck skeptically, yet nervous to ask him this next question. "Were you uh...on something at the time of the stunt?"

"Hey! I thought this was about the stunt!" He didn't seem to take that very well...

I waved my hooves. "Sorry, sorry! But were you?"

His eyes looked everywhere but me. "...Maybe... But I know what I saw!"

"Then how do you know she flew?"

He seemed agitated and nervous at the same time. "Ok, I didn't see her flying per say; she jumped out of the light. But she didn't hit the ground, and something did fly by the spotlight. Something with wings!"

"Ok, I'll believe you." I didn't, but he was the closest thing I had to a lead. "But before she jumped, was there anypony else with her? Like a...pegasus?" It was the only explanation I could think of that would make sense.

He shook his head. "Nah, man. She was alone when she hopped off the building."

I rubbed a hoof across my forehead. Am I really gonna have to go off the word of an addict? 'She flew' he says...huh, maybe she used her magic to float herself to safety--no that's just stupid; the magical glow would have been easily seen at night, and I doubt unicorns can even do that in the first place, otherwise they'd be flying all over the place. Sure the assassin could have pulled off the escape with a pegasus accomplice, but they were so rare and few in the wasteland that the chances were low. Ugh...ok, think, P.I.... Uh, pegasi aren't the only ones that can fly...for example there's--

"Yellow, we have to go." I said, turning around.

"Where to?" She asked.

My response was, "A hunch."

"Hey! What about the show?" The stallion asked as Yellow and I walked away. "You didn't find what went wrong with it."

I barely glanced at him from the corner of my eye, raised a hoof, then shouted. "Oh, we're just gonna cancel that!"

Before we turned the corner, I heard him say one last thing.

"Aw man... Was a good show too..."

* * *

"Hey there sweet thing, looking for a good time?"

I ignored the emaciated mare standing on a street corner, her face had make-up that was poorly applied, and she was wearing a feather boa around her neck. The state of her body was similar to that of the stallion's from before; my guess, she spent most of the caps she made from showing ponies 'good times' on chems more than food.

"Aw, don't be like that." She said dishearteningly as Yellow and I passed by her. "You and me can have fun together, hmm? And for no extra charge, your friend can join in as well~"

That prompted me to pick up the pace, only to have a different mare make a similar offer. Looking around, I could see that for every five normal looking ponies I saw on this street, there would be one who showed signs of early or long term chem addiction. Also, at almost every street we passed, there would be a well dressed Billiard mare or stallion peddling chems as if they were produce. I could already guess how the cycle in this city worked; the ponies would come for the casinos, win or lose some caps, then leave, however, some never left after they got a taste of the chems openly sold here.

I trudged forward, trying to ignore the depressing sight hidden behind all the bright Hearth's Warming Eve lights strung above the streets, sounds of revelry and merriment, and chatter of ponies bragging about how much they won at the tables. Out of curiosity, I turned my head back to see if Yellow showed any negative reaction concerning the state of affairs here, instead, she seemed like a foal who was just taken to some new and exciting place. She was smiling, her wide eyes were scanning everywhere, taking in every sight, sound, and...ugh...smell... A lot of these ponies could really use a bath...

"Hey, buddy, psst." Whispered a unicorn stallion standing in an alley. "Wanna see something cool?"

"No." I answered almost instantly as I continued towards my destination. Speaking of which, where is my destination? I knew it was somewhere this way, but the exact location escaped me. Maybe Yellow had a clue? "Yellow do you know where the...Yellow?" I did a full three-sixty, she was gone! Where'd she go!? She was just with me!

The E.F.S. was useless with so many ponies around; any one of these markers could be her! I took a few steps back, and in doing so, I spotted a black and yellow tail turning around the corner at the other end of the alley.

"Yellow!" I shouted, my voice slightly echoing around the cramp space.

Seconds later, her head popped out. "Hold on a second, P.I.!" She shouted back. "This buck wants to show me something!" The mare then disappeared from my vision.

Oh no.... Oh no no no! "Yellow, come back!" She didn't.... "Dammit!" I then ran after her, my hooves kicking up water as I trotted over puddles.

Once I turned the corner, I spotted Yellow and the buck standing at a dead end.

"It's right behind this." The buck said as he patted a dumpster.

Yellow looked at it quizzically? "Ok, what's there?"

With his head, the buck gestured for her to get closer. "Just take a look."

"Yellow!" I shouted.

Yellow turned to me. "Hold on, hold on. Let me just get a look at," she took a few steps forward to see what was behind the dumpster, "...this dead stallion..."

"Cool, isn't it?" The buck said with a devious grin on his muzzle. He then whistled, giving the signal for three ponies to emerge from the dumpster behind me.

Yellow looked at the ponies, the body, me, then the buck. "Uh...gee, that sure was interesting," she said with a nervous grin as she slinked over to my side, "but me and my friend have somewhere to be."

The buck spoke, his voice low, yet full of excitement. "Heh, you and your colt-friend aren't going anywhere."

I slowly shook my head as I facehoofed. "Ugh...Yellow..."

"What!?" Questioned Yellow as she raised her hooves. "How could you be mad at me right now!?"

I groaned before responding. "Because that buck tried to lure me here and failed! He only succeeded because of you!"

Her face slightly winched as she shrugged. "Oops."

I balked. "Oops!?"

"Well what do you want to me to do, apologies?"

"Awww, don't worry about that." The buck said as he floated up a switchblade in his magic. "I'll make sure you have plenty of time to apologies to his corpse once I'm done with you." He looked to the ponies behind us. "Grab her! I wanna make her watch as I give her colt-friend some new breathing holes!"

"Hey!" Yellow shouted as the three ponies wrapped their hooves around her.

"Get off her!" I yelled as I reached for Conversationalist, but was then surprised when my teeth bit air instead. Oh, right! I left it in the tower! I then felt something cold quickly run across my leg, right above the bend. What then followed was searing, stinging pain! I looked to my leg and saw a thin cut in my shirt's sleeve, under it was a red gash that was starting to bleed. Looking above it, I saw the buck, the tip of his floating blade was red. Red from blood...my blood.

"Ha!" The buck exclaimed as he readied the blade for another swipe at me.

I ducked under it, then barley dodged the incoming jab. Before he had a chance to pull it back, I tackled him into a wall, then heard the sound of something metallic hitting the ground; he must have dropped the switchblade!

"Ah, you fucker!" He shouted as he striked me across the jaw with his hoof.

I staggered back, holding my jaw. The buck then lined up his horn towards me and charged; he meant to stab me with his horn! Once I saw what he was doing, I jumped and wrapped my forehooves onto the fire escape's ladder above me and immediately pulled my hind legs up, causing the buck to run horn-first into the wall. A couple thoughts went through my mind as the buck backed up and screamed out in pain while clutching at his horn.

'Wow that was cool! Very Daring Do-esque!', 'Ooh that must have hurt!' and 'I'm surprised I actually pulled myself up, eh, must be the adrenaline...'

I then landed onto the floor after my newly made cut flared up in pain from holding my entire body weight on my forehooves. I quickly inspected it; I felt a bit squeamish when I saw the blood filled tissue beneath my fur and skin... Turning back to the buck, I saw he once again had the switchblade; did he grab it in the quarter of a second it took for me to check my leg!? His magic around the blade was faltering, yet still held it airborne. He took a step towards me, but then stopped and looked to the side, his mouth agape. What's he looking at? I also turned to the side, and I shared the same expression as him.

Yellow had kicked one of the stallions holding her in the throat, and as he lowered in pain, she jumped off his back and kicked the mare behind him in the head while in mid-air. The second stallion swung at Yellow's back, but she somehow predicted he would do that and grabbed his hoof with both of hers, placed it over her shoulder, then used his own momentum to throw him off of her back and into the dazed mare. As the first stallion recovered, he got up, only to get knocked out by Yellow's hoof to his face. Yellow just stood over all three of the unconscious ponies, panting angrily.

I finally snapped out of what I just witnessed and saw that the buck with the blade was still staring at Yellow. Now, I'm not proud of what I did next, but I took that opportunity to sucker punch the buck hard against his temple, knocking him out.

Moments after the buck fell, Yellow's expression slowly calmed. "You ok, P.I.?"

I took a step forward. "Yeah, I'm fi--ah!" The wound on my leg shot out in pain. Looking to it, I saw dark crimson pooling under the sleeve of my once white shirt.

"P.I.!" Yellow shouted in concern as she ran up to me. "Is it bad!? Drink a healing potion!"

"Can't." I said simply. "Left those back in the office." I then moved my hoof, that was ok, but when I tired to move my whole leg... "A-aw!" I exclaimed as I winced.

Yellow kept my leg outstretched to keep it from moving any further. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's my fault!"

You bet it is, I so wanted to tell her 'You should have listened to me', but...that saddened expression on her face made me not want to rub it in... "Whatever, we're ok...kinda...and," I gestured to the four ponies laying on the floor around us, "they're not. Let me guess: you got lucky?"

That seemed to have broken her out of her melancholy, cause she cracked a smile. "Actually...they sucked."

My shoulder begged to differ.

I then limped for the exit on three legs. "Let's just--ugh, get out of here."

Moments later, Yellow walked up beside me. "Here," she said, "it's the least I can do after getting us in this mess." She pressed up against me and supported my weight from my injured side, making it easier for me to walk.

* * *

"Whoa there, friend. You look like you could use a healing potion, I got those!"

Yellow looked away from the Billiard mare selling chems from a street corner, turned to me, and spoke with worry in her voice.

"P.I.?"

"N-no." I don't care if I was leaving a trail of red droplets behind us, I am NOT buying anything from these chem dealers, not even if it is a healing potion. From the look of most of the ponies around here, they could be laced with something extra--no, the WATER here itself must have something in it!

"But you're bleeding bad." Yellow protested.

"Hold on, let me just--arrgh!" I groaned with gritted teeth when I placed a hoof over my cut and applied pressure to momentarily stop the bleeding. I then scanned all of the shops on this street and looked for the least shadiest, most legit looking one I could spot. I then pointed to the closest one that matched my criteria. "There, that way."

We then hobbled towards one shop that appeared to have once been a pawn shop. The name of the shop was painted in white above the door: Avarice's Midtown Co-op; for some reason, a compass rose was painted as the dot in Midtown's 'I'. I chose this store for a couple reasons: there were no Billiards within a certain distance of it, cans of food, weapons, and other items were in the window display instead of hardcore chems like the other stores were advertising.

"Crap..." Yellow muttered to herself as she read the store's title...also, why did I just feel her tense up?

"What?" I asked.

She shook her head. "N-nothing."

Once we pushed the shop's door open, I collapsed onto the tiled floor. There, behind the store's counter, was a magenta unicorn mare with a light green mane, a bit older than Yellow and I, and had a cutie mark depicting the image of a clay pot. She was checking a shelf full of inventory when she heard my grunt.

"Whoa!" The mare exclaimed, her face full of surprise. "You're staining my floor!"

I'm here bleeding, and she's more upset about her floor?

From said floor, I nervously smiled at the mare. "Uh...you wouldn't happen to have healing potions, would you?" Whoa, I'm getting woozy...

"Yeah." The shopkeeper coldly said, her expression turning hard. "But not for you."

What? Right when I opened my mouth to speak, Yellow intervened. "Why not!? Look at him, he's hurt!"

The mare cocked her head and stared at Yellow for a few moments before responding. "Well let him bleed!" She then looked down to me. "That gang of yours, threatening me to pay your 'protection fee'." What? "Well guess what? Now your getting your comeuppance!"

"What are you talking about?!" Yellow hesitantly shouted after she glanced at all the red pooling under my leg.

The shop owner accusingly pointed a hoof towards me. "He's a Billiard!"

"What?" Yellow and I said in unison.

She crossed her forelegs. "Oh please, you're not fooling anyone. You're dressed like one."

Yellow and I stared at each other in disbelief; was I seriously in risk of bleeding out because of my fashion choices?

"Uh..." Yellow uttered. "But, he isn't one."

"What?" The mare said, raising a brow.

"He's not a Billiard!" Yellow replied. "He just dresses like that for some reason!" Uh...have you ever considered that maybe I just like suits? "And I can prove it!" She looked me over, then said something to the mare that caused me to mentally facehoof. "Um...hold on, just uh...." Did she just say she could prove it without actually knowing how!? Eventually, much to my relief, she found her answer. "Oh, here! Ha!" She raised my PipBuck leg and brandished the device. "These! How many Billiards do you know that have these!?"

The mare stared at my PipBuck for a couple seconds before answering. "Eh...you got a point there." She then turned to the back of the store and yelled, "Rio!"

I then heard a mare's voice responding. "Hmm!?"

The magenta mare then said something in some language I didn't understand--heck, I don't even think I can spell what she said! Moments later, a zebra mare emerged from the back. She appeared to be around the same age as the store pony, and her zebra equivalent of a cutie mark (Glyphmarks, I think they were called) was that of five wavy lines that almost gave the image of running water, also, much to my luck, she was approaching me with a healing potion secured in her mouth.

She uncorked it and brought the vial to my lips. " Here, drink." The zebra soft-spokenly said with little accent, much to my surprise.

I needed no further convincing as I wrapped my lips around the bottle's neck and raised my head, eagerly guzzling the liquid. Within seconds I felt the potion taking effect, some strength was slowly returning to my body and I could see the wound closing. With its contents empty, the vial clinked against the floor when I released it from my mouth.

"You better now, P.I.?" Yellow asked.

"Hold on, let me check." I then hefted myself up and inspected my leg. Wiping away some of the caked and still fresh blood, I saw a thin fur-less line above the bend of my leg, hopefully I took the potion soon enough to avoid a scar, and if so, then my fur there should regrow naturally. "Yeah, all good." I said as I bended my leg for good measure.

Yellow turned and faced out of the stores windows. "Ah...good. We should go now." Her voice anxious.

"Oh no you're not." Said the store mare from behind the counter. "You're paying for that potion."

I responded as I rotated my leg. "Fine, fair enough." I did still have some caps on me after all, and this store probably had some other things I'd need.

"Uh, P.I." Yellow said, still looking out the window.

"Yeah?" I said.

"I'm just gonna wait outside till you're done, also I have to uh," she pointed to my blood staining her Stable barding, "wash this off."

"Oh." The store mare said. "Rio, go help her."

"Shit..." Yellow quietly muttered as she grimaced and lowered her head.

Yellow then exited the store, but before Rio walked through the door to follow her, the store pony said something to her in, well...I'm assuming that's zebra. Rio's expression became one of bewilderment as she then looked out the window towards Yellow, then to the store mare, then back to Yellow again. The zebra then said something that sounded a lot like a question, which the mare then responded with a nod. Rio nodded back, then exited the store and followed Yellow.

"What was all that?" I asked the mare.

She waved her hoof dismissively. "Oh nothing, just told Rio to keep an eye out for muggers. City is just full of ponies looking for easy ways to get their next fix." Me and my fur-less, hopefully-temporary scar can attest to that.

After I paid for the healing potion, I also bought some things that I might need during this care; unfortunately, since I didn't bring that many caps with me, my purchases weren't that great, these consisted of: two healing potions, a .32 five-cylinder pistol in very poor condition--seriously, the thing slightly rattles when I move it--along with some ammo, and since I couldn't afford the saddlebags, a tattered old gym bag to hold all these.

Once the transaction was done, the store mare asked something with a completely different tone than before, this one being non-hostile. "If you don't mind me asking, if you're not a Billiard, then what are you doing in this town with that friend of yours?"

I raised a brow. "We're here like everypony else, to gamble."

She smirked. "Says the buck who spends what little caps he has on a crap gun. So why come here, if not for the tables?" Ok, wow. She's just as good at putting two and two together as me...

I didn't feel like lying, but I also didn't feel like telling the truth either. "We're...looking for somepony in this city."

"Ah. So why bring that mare along?"

I looked at the mare with confusion. "Aren't these questions getting a little personal, miss...?"

"Salt Glaze." She said. "And I'm only asking this because I'm worried about that mare you're with."

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"The three families are always looking for mares that are pleasing to the eye. They promise them jobs in their casino's, but soon end up hooked on chems and selling themselves out in the streets. And that mare friend of your's is just the kind of pony they look for."

That wasn't a pleasant thought, I've seen those same mares Salt Glaze was describing on this very street. Still...none of the Billiards had tried 'recruiting' Yellow, so Parlor must have told them she was with me. Actually...now that she mentioned the other families...

"Uh, speaking of the families..." I said.

"Hmm?" She muttered.

"What do you know about them?"

"Ha! Families!" She said with venom as she lightly thumped her counter. "By old Equestrian standards, organized criminals is what they really are! Their one step above raider; they'll do the same things raiders do, but solely for caps."

"Ok uh, dully noted. But who runs them? I know Pool Parlor leads the--"

She cut me off. "You've already met Pool Parlor and that son of a bitch Knock Out?" I had to agree with her there; Knock Out's a son of a bitch, but I'd say it differently...

"Uh, yeah..." I looked at my scar that wouldn't have been healed if she still thought I was a Billiard. "I'm gonna take a shot in the dark here and say that you don't exactly like them."

Her face scrunched up. "That ass charges every store in Avarice's midsection for the rights to sell in 'Billiard' turf; he calls it a 'protection fee'. We don't pay, an 'accident' happens to either the shop or the owner itself."

"And you didn't pay?"

She seemed insulted. "Of course I did, what do you take me for, an idiot? When you came in, I thought they wanted more."

Ok, I'm getting a bit off-topic here. "But what can you tell me about the other two families?"

"Well there's West Avarice run by the Headstones; head's a ghoul by the name of Headstone; he's real creative when it comes to naming things. Other than their casino 'The Crypt', they're mostly known for making and selling chems for the more hardcore users; their stuff would kill you if you ain't careful! Then there's East Avarice that's run by the Mini-Caesars. Their leader is an old zebra mare by the name of Tonikum. Her casino is called 'Savanna' and their specialty in the chem trade are these little home brews they make that give various effects; I've heard they produce 'natural highs' or something like that."

Headstone and Tonikum; these two were the most likely suspects for hiring the assassin to take out Parlor. I then placed the gymbag over my back and turned for the door. "Thanks for the info." I said. "You've probably made things a bit easier in my search."

"Hold on!?" Salt Galze shouted. "Which side are you going to, the east or the west?"

I scratched my mane through my hat. "Uh...both?"

Her jaw dropped. "Then you must be crazy..."

"Why?" I asked as I tilted my head in confusion.

She gestured at my chest area. "Cause you're entering both sides dressed like...that."

What's wrong with the way I'm--oh...she confused me for a Billiard, that means the Headstones and Mini-Caesars might make the same mistake--and what was it that Parlor said?

'They've put their ponies on alert, and if one of my guys even sets foot in their turf, it'll be a warzone.'

Crap...does this mean I have to do what I think I have to do?

I sighed, but before I did the...unthinkable deed, there was still one last think I had to ask Salt Glaze.

Minutes later, I stepped out of the Co-op and scanned the street for Yellow and Rio but couldn't find them. Where were they? Not wanting to wait around, I approached one of the Chem dealers I passed before.

"Hey, have you seen an amber mare in Stable barding with a zebra somewhere?"

The Billiard mare brought a hoof to her chin in thought, then nodded and pointed to an alley.

AFTER WHAT WE JUST WENT THROUGH, SHE GOES INTO ANOTHER ALLEY!?

I then crept into the alley, crappy gun ready in-case Yellow got herself into another pickle, but when I turned the corner, I saw Yellow and Rio were alone and standing under the sole light in this dark alleyway. Rio was saying something to Yellow in zebra, both oblivious that I was watching from the shadows.

Yellow scrunched her face in confusion towards Rio. "I'm sorry, I don't speak uh..."

Rio sighed angrily, then spoke in words I understood. "Fine, if you want to pretend, I'll play along. I almost didn't recognize you until Salt Glaze pointed it out, so what are you doing here?"

Wait, do they know each other?

Yellow nonchalantly shrugged. "What, can't a mare go out for a stroll?"

"Funny." The zebra mare said dryly. "You know what I mean, what are you doing out here, in the wasteland?"

Yellow opened her mouth to speak, but didn't seem to be able to find the right words, it took her a while before she found some. "So you heard, huh?"

Rio's eyes hardened. "That you ran from home? Yes."

Ran from home, huh... With luck, I might be able to find out where their Stable is so I can return Yellow. Also, Stable 73 apparently had zebras living in it as well; my guess is that it was part of Stable-Tec's social experiment...or something...I think...

"Ok, uh, wow..." Yellow muttered as she scratched her mane. "Word kinda got around quicker than I thought it would."

"What I'd like to know, is why? Why would you leave the safety of our home for," Rio then gestured all around her, "for this!? Surely you've seen the dangers the wasteland holds."

Yellow's eyes slid left to right then back again. "Eh...no..."

It was at that moment where I then envisioned Yellow and I on a hoofball field, the referee blows their whistle, we go for the ball, then both of us get dog-piled by the opposing team composed of raiders, one flame-pony, and a whole swarm of ghost-like insect-pony-things.

"You're obviously lying." Rio skeptically said.. "You've seen all that blood back at the store that I'll probably have to clean up later." Her head tilted back as if she just thought of something. "Speaking of which, who is that buck?"

Yellow hesitantly answered. "He's just...he's just somepony I'm traveling with..."

Rio cocked her head back in disbelief. "Traveling, with him!? What are you thinking!? Our home is a closely guarded secret, if he knows anything abou--"

"Relax!" Yellow cut her off. "He...he doesn't know anything...I-I haven't told him anything."

Wait, their Stable location is a secret? Shit. That means if I just ask Salt Glaze or Rio for directions, they'd deny being from one.

"Good." Rio said with a quick nod. "If you just wanted to see the wasteland, you should have joined with one of the trade outposts like I did."

"Oh suuure," Yellow said sarcastically while rolling her eyes. "go out into the wastes just to stand behind a store counter...real exciting."

"You know perfectly well what our home lacks!" Rio retorted. "At least I'm allowed to be out here, unlike you. Now, I hope you've had a great time out here, because you're going home. I'm sending word back home for somepony to pick you up, you have no reason to be out here." She then turned for the exit.

Well that kinda solved my dilemma for me.

"Wait, I have a perfectly good reason!" Yellow shouted, causing Rio to pause.

"Really?" Rio said doubtfully. "And what would that be?"

Yellow scanned the ground below her before raising her eyes towards Rio's "Th-the...uh...I'm..."

"See, no reason." Rio said before she took one step out from under the light.

"I-I'm with the Inquisitor!"

Rio turned back to Yellow and looked at her as if she couldn't tell if she was being serious. "The Inquisitor? Him? The buck with the scar on his mouth and the stupid hat?"

Scar on his mouth and the st--are they talking about me!? ...Hey...my hat's not stupid...

Yellow quickly nodded. "Yeah, I wouldn't be traveling with him if he wasn't. That's as good a reason if any, right?"

Rio seemed dumbfounded. "I...I suppose... If this is true--and that's a big 'if', by the way--then I'll hold off on telling the others. But only for a while, understand?"

Yellow broke into a small smile. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Hmm, we've already cleaned you off, so let's return to the Co-op. He must be waiting."

As they then began walking towards the exit, I quietly moved aside so they'd pass by me.

Once they exited the alley, I tried to make sense of what I overhead. I don't know what this 'Inquisitor' thing I might be is, but it seems important enough for Rio to postpone on informing her Stable about Yellow; which means Yellow is still stuck with me!

Right when the universe dangles a carrot in my face, it yanks it back just to mess with me...

A couple minutes later, I found Yellow standing outside of the Co-op.

"Oh, there you are, Yellow." I said as I pretended to be slightly surprised. "Where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you."

Yellow spoke as she turned around to face me. "Oh, sorry about that. Blood's harder to get off of this suit than I thoug--" She then jumped back and stared at me with surprise written on her face. "Who are you!?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Wait..." Her eyes went to my Pipbuck, then the scar on my mouth. "P.I.?" She asked, unsure if it was really me.

"Uh...yeah?" I said. "It's me, why wouldn't it be?"

"What happened to your clothes, and your hat?"

That's why she didn't recognize me? Cause I removed them? Eh, I could have kept the hat on, but it wouldn't feel right without the entire ensemble.

"I took them off." I answered with a shrug.

"Oh, wow." The amber mare said as she inspected me from all angles. "This is the first time I've seen you without a suit. You look so...different without your get-up; didn't recognize you."

I annoyingly rolled my eyes. "Ugh, don't remind me. I feel...naked without them."

She stopped in front of me. "So why'd you take them off?"

I gestured to the gym-bag on my back that had my suit and newly-bought items in it. "Well they were drenched in my blood, plus it'd be safer where we're going if I'm not mistaken for a Billiard."

Yellow brought her head back, almost as if she remembered something. "Oh yeah, the east side and west side of this place; we got to check them, right? So which one were we going to before we uh...", she said this last part in a near whisper, "went into an alley?"

No, no, no, Yellow. YOU went into that alley, I just went after you. Just thinking back to that moment tempted me to waltz into the Co-op and demand they take Yellow back home. Sadly, I knew that even if I'd done that, they'd play dumb about being from a Stable in the first place, and there was also that talk Yellow and Rio had about me being an 'Inquisitor'--whatever that means. I'd stay in the shop and ask what that means and also have them just take Yellow off my hooves, but this job kinda has a time limit... One which I'd rather get done as quick as possible; I'll just come back after the job.

After making up my mind, I answered Yellow's question. "Right now, we're going to neither."

In response, Yellow questionably raised her brow. "Then...where are we going?"

"This way, store owner gave me directions."

I turned and continued towards my earlier hunch, hopefully, along the way, nopony will offer Yellow free candy from the back of a moving cart...

* * *

"If you're here for food or medical reasons, go to the back of the line."

I looked away from the shining crystal-griffon towards said line, and--holy smokes that's a long line! It was formed from the starving, the injured, the sick, and seemed to go around the parking complex! The end of the line wasn't that far from the beginning, it was as if a snake wrapped itself around a brick, then stared at its own tail!

I looked back at the armed and armored half lion, half eagle who was guarding the entrance to the complex with another griffon, his gun was sheathed in its holster strapped on his armor, but I still answered nervously.

"Eh...neither...?"

"Then I'm afraid you're not getting in unless--" He stopped talking when a buck with a bandaged leg limped out. A couple seconds later, the griffon looked away from me and gesture for the mare who was next in line to approach. He then turned back to me as his partner searched the mare before letting her in. "If you're not here for any of those reasons, and unless you have important business with the Envoy, then I suggest you leave."

'The Envoy'? I thought they were the Crystal Empire. "Wait!" I quickly said. "But I do have business with you!"

"Really now? And who are you to have business with the Envoy?"

I had to think quick. "I was sent by...by Pool Parlor."

"Pool Parlor?" The griffon said before he and his partner looked at each other, then to me. "But you don't even look like a Billiard."

I grimaced; the ONE time I remove my suit, and it would have been better if I kept it on...

I sighed. "Hold on." I turned to Yellow. "Can you pull out my suit?" She nodded, then unzipped the bag still on my back and extracted the bloody garment. "See, Billiard. Just spilled a little tomato sauce on it."

He stared at my suit for a few moments, then motioned for his partner to get closer. Once he did, they had a quiet discussion, however, they were terrible at whispering, and I could still hear them...

"That doesn't look like tomato sauce to me, looks like blood."

"It probably is, you know how Billiards can be when somepony owes them caps. The pony he stabbed is probably bleeding somewhere in the line."

"Well if it is blood, we can't let him in."

"But what if he was sent by Pool Parlor? What if he reconsidered? Captain Phos would want to know."

"Ugh, fine, but make sure to thoroughly search him."

They broke from their short conference to face Yellow and I.

"We'll let you in, but after we search you two. You're leaving your weapons with us."

So...Tenpony rules, huh? Living in the tower got me used to being searched, but having a griffon do it felt...different; as he patted around my legs to make sure I wasn't hiding anything behind them, I could feel his talons attached to those weird digits they have that help them grab things. What were they called? Pinkies? He then opened my bag, rifled through it, and pulled out my gun.

"Yeah, this is staying out here." He said as he tired to spin the barrel, only for it to cycle halfway before immediately stopping in place. He didn't seem to pay that much thought as he placed it in a strong box beside him, then handed by bag back to me. "Alright, you can go now." He turned to the other griffon. "Take him to Phos."

The other griffon nodded, then walked ahead, up the curved, concrete slope, then waited for Yellow and I halfway up it. We followed, and once we reached the top, we spotted several tents, each of them with ponies either inside or around them. The crystal ponies--the ones who weren't in armor--were busily distributing medical aid and food to the wasteland ponies from within the tents. Looking into some of them, I could see why the line outside was so long, most of the tents they had were already full as is. After a wasteland pony had been given medical care or finished eating a bowl of...whatever it is they were eating, they would pass by Yellow and I as they headed for the exit. Moments later, I could hear the griffon guard's voice, echoing around the concrete from behind saying "You're up next."

As Yellow and I followed the griffon past some of the tents, a thought occurred to me when I noticed that these so called 'crystal ponies' weren't that crystal at all. If I had to describe it, I'd say they were just glossier than everypony else--the griffons were more crystal than them!

Peering around the griffon's side to look ahead, I saw we were going straight towards the one in charge. He was a light blue stallion, around his late thirties or so, and the reason I knew he was in charge was because all of the crests on the other guards' helmets were blue, his was the only red one; either he's the leader, or was making a fashion statement. He seemed to be speaking to four younger pony guards in front of a larger tent that had crystal-griffons flanking the entrance.

Our griffon escort then approached the stallion, and whispered something in his ear. (Oh, so he can whisper.) The stallion listened, then his eyes widened as he looked towards me.

"All of you, back to your posts." He said to the four guards and our escort. Once they left, he pushed aside the nearby tent's flap, then turned to Yellow and I. "You two, in here." He said before entering.

Passing through the flaps, I saw that the interior of the tent was lit by gem lanterns hanging off the support beams at all four corners, casting light over the sole table in the center. There were all sorts of charts, figures, and messages on it, and on the bottom of it all was a crude drawing of Avarice. There were two lines drawn in parallel to each other on it, dividing Avarice into three parts, I didn't have to guess why.

The crystal stallion then walked around the table, removed his helmet, and placed it on the table, revealing a short, bright red mane that was flattened around his skull, possibly caused by wearing his helmet for so long. "I'm Captain Phosphorescence, Captain Phos for short, the one tasked with this division of the Empire's Envoy." Strange, he said that with a tone of both pride, and annoyance... "I am to believe Pool Parlor sent you, correct?"

"Uh, yeah." I wasn't exactly lying, in a way he kinda did; he asked me to find the mare who tired to kill him, and coming here just might help me find her.

"Ah, good." He said as he tapped his helmet on the table with a hoof. "Has Pool Parlor finally reconsidered?"

'Reconsidered'? Reconsidered what? I couldn't ask, otherwise he'd know I wasn't officially sent by Parlor. Instead, I chose to give a neutral answer.

I coughed into my hoof. "Eh, no, not yet. He's still putting some thought into tha--"

"Reconsider what?" Yellow blatantly asked, causing my eyes to widen and my hoof to remain near my mouth were I coughed into it.

Captain Phos was giving Yellow and I weird looks. That's it, Yellow! You're going back to the Co-o--wait! Maybe I can use this to find out more about this 'reconsidering' thing.

"Uh, Mr. Parlor is still undecided and has sent her with me." I said, hoping this would dismiss suspicion.

He had a quizzical look as she turned to Yellow. "Why send her, who is she?"

I was quick to answer. "Nopony really, just some mare in Stable barding we found off the street."

"Hey!" Yellow yelled, annoyed and possibly insulted as she turned to me.

"Anyway," I raised a hoof and waved it to get Phos' attention again, "Mr. Parlor feels it would be good to hear the opinion of somepony who is unaffiliated with any group. You know, get a different perspective."

Phos brought a hoof to his chin and rubbed it as he eyed us both. "I see." He eventually said with a nod, causing me to slowly and calmly exhale through my nose, thankful that my quick thinking worked.

I tilted my head to the side, towards Yellow. "Just give her the gist of it."

"Hmm, very well." He said as he then spoke to Yellow. "As you may already know, this here is a small division sent by the Crystal Empire, dubbed: The Envoy. The Envoy's purpose is to form peaceful relations with Equestrian settlements for future coexistence of the two nations. We do this by sending scouts into the Equestrian Wastes, who then report back to the Empire when they find a settlement in dire need of outside assistance."

"And that's when you show up?" I asked.

Phos nodded. "Correct. We appear in small groups like this, so the settlement won't confuse us for an invading force." Makes sense. "While we're there, we do what we can to help those in the settlement; cure the sick, heal the injured, feed the hungry; kinda like a free sample of what's to come if they accept the Empire's help. Once a settlement accepts the Empire's aid, a bulk of the Envoy is sent and provides the settlement with the means to help themselves. When all of that is complete, we leave for the next settlement, but not before leaving a crystal tree as a gift." I thought back to the one in Lakeside.

"Wait," I said as I just noticed something, "you guys go to settlements that need help, right? So why come to Avarice?" I mean, other than the chem addicts, muggers, and freakishly long line just outside this complex, the town seems to be thriving.

The very shiny stallion scratched his mane, seeming to be mildly confused. "Truth be told, I'm not exactly sure why Avarice was chosen as well. Orders came from the higher ups. I assume this is an experiment to see if the same results as before can work on a larger scale." His gaze lowered to the map below him."But so far, it hasn't been very successful, for obvious reasons."

I tapped Yellow's side, and when she turned to me, I mouthed the words 'ask why'; I'm supposedly sent by Pool Parlor, I'm supposed to know, Yellow on the other hoof has an excuse not to.

"Oh," she uttered as she turned to the Captain, "uh...why?"

"Because of Pool Parlor." He answered simply. "The Empire has made a discussion based on the report we sent back, and have decided that the best way to help this settlement is by establishing a free clinic for those here addicted to chems. But for us to do that, the town has to willingly accept the Empire's aid, and Parlor, being the leader of the largest section of the town and therefor viewed by the Empire as the closest thing to the town's leader, rejects that proposal. He said, and I quote: "That would put a damper on my...'business'."

So that's what Captain Phos hoped Parlor has reconsidered? Accepting the Empire's aid and allowing them to build this clinic? I could see why Parlor wouldn't what that to happen; if this clinic is built, less ponies would be buying chems in the town.

Phos continued. "If I were the one in charge of the entire Envoy, I'd say we tried, pack up, and move on, but the Crystal Empire seems determined to win Avarice's support and has given us strict orders to remain put and continue our efforts here until the town accepts the aid we offer, which I don't see happening unless Pool Parlor is replaced as the town's leader...or killed."

Well that escalated pretty quickly...

"'Killed'?" I repeated with suspicion as to why he chose that word.

Phos turned to me, a hard look in his eyes. "What? With all of the ponies we help here, you expect us 'not' to hear something? I'm aware of the fact that somepony tried to kill Parlor--and before you get any ideas in your head, no, it wasn't us who sent the would-be killer. We're here to 'forge' future bonds with the wasteland, not to hire hit-ponies to kill leaders who refuse our gifts; doing so would reflect badly upon the Empire, now wouldn't it?"

He seemed to be telling the truth; there wasn't a hint of deception in his voice. However, despite that, I still had to follow the one lead I had.

"Be that as it may." I said calmly. "Mr. Parlor still wants me to ask you some questions," I shrugged, "one of the other reasons I was sent."

Captain Phos then preformed an action that was a combination of both a grunt and a sigh before answering. "Fine, if it will clear the Envoy of any suspicion, then ask."

"How many of these crystal-griffons do you have here, and for what reason do you have them? Also--this is more of a personal question--why are there crystal-griffons? From all the old stories I've heard, I thought the Crystal Empire was inhabited solely by, well, ponies..."

Phos shut his eyes then brought a hoof between them. "Ugh...again with this question...your question to be exact..." He placed his hooves back on the table and looked at me. "First of all-- and I'm answering yours just to get it out of the way: there are no 'crystal-griffons', crystal ponies are entirely earth ponies," he paused and slightly grimaced as if he just remembered something, "...with some rare exceptions. The ones you saw outside are just regular griffons; their armors' enchanted to give them that appearance. Second: we have them because they know the wasteland better than us and the Empire purchased their contracts, which state, that they are 'strictly'," he couldn't emphasis that word any more than he just did, "to protect the Envoy's personal and assets, not to assassinate if that's where you're getting at. And lastly: there are eight here."

Just eight? Well that made things a bit easier for me.

"And where were they all last night?" I asked.

He scowled. "Hey, I just told you that they--"

I cut him off, mid sentence. "Just...answer the question."

He angrily sighed. "Here, ask anyone outside, even the townsfolk would attest to that. Like I said; they're here to protect the Envoy. Nothing more, nothing less."

He said that angrily, but again, I felt like he wasn't lying. Maybe that chem addict really didn't see anything flying last night after all. Even if one of them did fly to pick up the assassin, anypony could spot them flying in the night--for crying out loud, they produced their own light! Sure, they could have removed their armor before helping with the escape, but anypony would have easily noticed one of them leave the complex, and I've also heard of griffons being very serious when it comes to their contracts; if they're only here for protection, than that's what they'll do.

I sighed, a bit upset with myself that I even considered the ravings of a pony on hallucinogens a lead.

I turned and opened the tent's flap. "Thank you, Captain Phos. I've heard enough."

"Wait!" Phos exclaimed. But when I turned, I saw it wasn't me he was addressing, it was Yellow. "You'll...give Pool Parlor a...good recommendation about the Empire, right?"

Yellow nervously scratched the side of here head as it slowly scanned in all directions. "Oh uh...I don't know...maybe."

"Ah, I...I see..." Phos clasped his helmet with both hooves and lowered his chin onto its red crest, a glum look on his face, probably because it meant he had to stay here longer. What he said next was in the most pathetic, brib-iest tone I've ever heard. "Before you leave...I don't supposed you'd care for some uh...crystal...berries?"

Yellow beamed. "Oh, dude! Empire all the way!"

With anypony else, that kind of bribery would have failed, now Yellow on the other hoof... Huh, could I bribe her with some berries for the location of her Stable?

"Really!?" Phos excitedly said with a smile as he raised his head off his helmet then--holy crap, what the hell!? Yellow and I both nearly jumped out of our coats as Phos suddenly and without warning, shimmered. Within milliseconds, his body was now like that of the crystal-griffons outside; he was just as shiny as them now and his body was also slightly transparent.

"What?" The Captain said. "We are called 'Crystal Ponies'."

* * *

"Excuse me." I said, raising my voice just loud enough to be heard over everypony else.

The barkeep's ears perked up before she looked away from the ponies she was serving and turned in my direction. With a confused look in her expression, she scanned all the faces around where the voice who just called for her came from, unsure of which of us it was. To make it easier on her, I waved, causing her to smile before walking over to where Yellow and I had taken our seats by the bar's counter.

"What'll you have, hun?" The barkeeper said in a friendly tone.

I turned to Yellow beside me and saw she was busy indulging herself on a bag of crystal berries, her stained lips smacked every few chews.

I decided to order for her. "Two Sparkle Colas, cold." That seems to be the only thing I ever order in bars...

For a few seconds, the mare seemed perplexed as she slightly tilted her head and raised her brow, probably from wondering why a buck would walk into a bar just to order soda, however, she quickly shrugged and went over to the drink racks.

It would probably be a couple minutes before I got my drink, and for good reason too; with nopony allowed to leave town for the time being, this bar was just 'packed' with ponies. However, despite the circumstances as to why they couldn't leave, they seemed to be having a great time; the ponies here where talking, laughing, a radio had it's volume set to max, filling the watering hole with one of Sweetie Belle's songs, and of course...they were drinking.

Currently, Yellow and I weren't in the midsection of Avarice, no, this bar was in the west side, meaning we were sitting in Headstone turf. After leaving the Envoy's camp, I decided the next thing to do was to question the leaders of the other two families. If they were the Billiard's competitors, and shared the same...'business endeavors', then they would have motive to kill Pool Parlor and the resources to hire the assassin. My plan of action was simple; meet with both leaders under the guise of a representative sent by the other family at the opposite end of them, and question them for info. Though, in this plan's simplicity, there was one problem: I have no idea where to find the families' leaders... It's not like all three parts of the town have map directories spread all over that say 'You are here. Head of this side's family can be found here.' It was because of this reasoning that I planned to ask the barkeeper once she comes by with my drinks.

As I waited for my Cola, I could overhear two ponies talking who were one pony away from me.

"Aren't you a bit worried out that we can't leave?" Asked a mare who by the looks of her and her barding, seemed to be a caravaner.

"Why?" The stallion beside the mare said with a smile before quickly lowering his head towards the shot glass sitting on the counter, placing his lips around it, raised his head with the glass secured in his mouth, then tilted his head back, allowing the glass's contents into his mouth. After he swallowed, he nearly slammed the glass back into the counter. With a satisfied grin, he continued. "You heard the rumors; they're only looking for the mare who tired to kill the Billiard's leader. We just got to sit tight till they find her, and once they do, then we can leave. Besides," he lowered his head towards a second shot glass, "of all the places to be stuck in, be glad it's Avarice." He picked up the shot glass in his mouth, faced his friend, then muttered something around it. "Sho reracks, ribbe ah rittle."

"Fine." The mare said in a tone of both exasperation and defeat as she rolled her eyes. She then picked up her shot glass in her magic and smoothly brought it to her lips. For a minute, they just drank, until the mare spoke again. "So who do you think the killer is?"

The stallion placed his glass down and licked any remnants of the drink off his lips before addressing his friend with a confused look on his face that was starting to show signs of inebriation. "Killer?"

"You know." The mare said as she readied another drink. "The one who tried to kill the Billiard's leader."

"Ooh..." Answered the stallion as his head swayed a bit. "Shouldn't there be a kill-ee for there to be a kill-er?"

"Ok, smart-ass," replied the mare, along with a stare that caused the stallion to chuckle, "would-be killer then. Who do think it is?"

"Well..." The stallion patted his chin. "It's no secret that the three families hate each other, so the smart money says that it's one of the other two, but...that Crystal Empire group also seems suspicious too."

"What about the Stable Mare?" The mare added.

He tilted his head back in confusion. "The who?"

"You know, the Stable Mare, the one Pon3 mentioned recently on the radio. I've heard a rumor that it's her."

"What? That's ridiculo--"

"Pfft...the Stable Mare..." Interrupted the mare beside me who was in-between me and the two caravaners. "That Stable Mare rumor, I've heard it too, but, there's a less ridiculous rumor that makes more sense."

The two caravaners gave each other a quizzical look before turning back to the mare beside me.

"Ok, what?" Asked the stallion.

"I've heard...that the assassin was sent by..." She paused for dramatic effect, then looked around as if somepony was listening--I was, but she didn't look in my direction. The two caravaners were leaning in, interested to know what the mare would say. "She was sent," another dramatic pause, " by Stage Hand..."

The two caravaners' eyes widened as they turned to each other with a look of shock on their faces, however, their faces then broke into small chortles which then shortly became uncontrollable laughter.

"Stage Hand!?" The stallion shouted in-between laughs. "You--you can't be--be serious! Everypony knows there's--there's no such thing!"

As the two ponies continued to laugh, I stared at the ring stains on the counter with wide eyes, trying to find out why that name sounded so familiar. Seconds later, I recalled what happened back in Woodtrot...

'Skeeter! Who did this to you!?'

Skeeter managed to answer me as he struggled to breathe through all the foam erupting from his mouth. 'S-Stage...Hand...'

Once the two ponies' laughter started to die down, I tapped the shoulder of the mare next to me.

"Excuse me." I said. "I've never heard of this 'Stage Hand', could you please explain?"

"What? Who hasn't heard of--" When she turned to me, her eyes widened. "Hey, you look," her eyes looked me top to bottom, "familiar."

Well now that she mentions it, and I got a better look at her, she also looked familiar. She was around my age, her coat was plain yellow, her mid-length mane blue, and her eyes were red, lastly, her cutie mark was of a campfire; a pretty common cutie mark to have here in the wasteland. I tired to place her somewhere in my memory, I just know I've seen her somewhere before...

The mare's eyes were half shut as she studied me, they then widened and a smile formed on her muzzle before she spoke. "Oh! I remember now! You were there at the Horror House!"

Wait, she was there? Oh, wait a minute!

'Oh, he's with the other two right now, somewhere in the mansion. Glad he's 'their' problem now, and not ours. Why don't you guys take a breather for a couple minutes? He shouldn't be back for a while, and you can get back to the exploration before he shows up again.'

She was one of the ponies who was setting up the lights back in Harrow's mansion! No wonder I had such a hard time remembering her, it wasn't like I had time to socialize with the other guild members back in that mansion, not with all that happened with the raiders and ghost...things...

"Oh yeah!" I said; if I had pinkies like a griffon, I'd be snapping them right now. "Now I remember you. Horror House, right? Pocket Slim had you setting up the lights?"

She nodded with a smile. "Yup, that was me." She then extended her hoof towards me. "Name's Tinder."

I glanced at her hoof, offered her my own, shook it, then grinned as I used the same alias I used back in the mansion. "Lucky Horseshoe."

Once we let go of each other's hooves, she looked around me and spotted Yellow. "Oh hey! Your Stable friend is here too!"

Yellow must have heard her, because she just lazily raised her hoof in acknowledgment while her maw was deep in the crystal berry bag; what was she doing, inhaling the berries!?

"So what are you doing here?" I asked Tinder. "You got here really quick; Nor-bell's a long ways from here."

She shrugged. "Well, I have a pretty busy schedule this week and trading with Avarice was right after helping Pocket Slim with that mansion." She crossed her hooves and tilted her head to the side a bit as she eyed me. "You know, I'd ask you the same question, along with 'what happened to your clothes?' I remember you wore a tie with some fancy hat--one of the reasons I didn't recognize you right away...did you gamble them away in one of the casinos?"

"Eeh..." I uttered as I scratched my chin while my eyes scanned the ceiling. I didn't want to explain the whole 'don't want to be confused for a Billiard in their rival's turf' situation.

"Don't want to talk about it?" Tinder asked.

"Eh, yeah..." I lightly shook my head, then looked Tinder in her red eyes. "So anyway, you mentioned something about a 'Stage Hand'."

She looked at me with disbelief in her expression. "Wait, you were serious? You've never heard of Stage Hand?"

"Uh, should I?" I questionably said.

"Oh come on! You've got to be pulling my leg here?" Tinder said with a smile, however, that smile became neutral when she saw I was being serious and clueless. "You haven't..."

"Sorry," I shrugged, "that's kinda why I disturbed you in the first place."

She sighed as she rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine, I'll explain. There are these stories, stories that tell of one pony who practically ruled the criminal underworld back before the bombs, pony by the name of Stage Hand. And some of these stories say that Stage Hand might still be around, because whenever something big happens in the wasteland, it's said that Stage Hand either knows about it, was involved in some way, or caused it. If there really is a Stage Hand, they'd have to be over two hundred years old, or maybe it's a title that gets passed along, who knows? It's kinda like how there's always a DJ Pon3. As for why he, she, whatever is called Stage Hand, I don't know; I think it's an old term used for ponies who worked backstage during plays; you know, behind the scenes kinda stuff." She then flashed me a half smile as she shrugged, signaling that she's finished.

That's it? Stage Hand is just some rumored shadowy figure who's supposedly controlling things from behind the scenes who may or may not exist? I'm starting to think Skeeter was just being superstitious during his last moments...

"Well, uh...thanks for the lesson..." I causally said as I looked away from her and placed my forehooves on the counter. Within seconds, the barpony approached and placed two un-capped bottles of Sparkle Cola between my hooves. "Oh, right." I almost forgot I ordered these...

I reached a hoof into my gymbag laying on the floor, but was then mortified when I discovered that I didn't have enough caps left over to pay for both of the drinks. I nervously raised my eyes from the bag and saw the bar-mare looking down at me, tapping the counter at a slow rhythm as she patiently waited for her caps.

"Uuh..." I uttered as my face was starting to blush.

"Let me guess." The bar-mare spoke as her face was starting to show annoyance. "Can't pay?" My mouth was wide, yet I remained silent. "Well I guess I'm taking these back." She said as she wrapped her foreleg around both bottles, but then paused when Tinder placed her hoof on the bar-mare's leg, stopping her.

"These stay." Tinder calmly said, much to my surprise. "I'll pay."

The bar-mare released the drinks after Tinder gave her the caps for them. When she walked away to service the other patrons, Tinder turned to me with a cocky grin.

I returned her smile with my own. "Wow, uh...thanks."

"Eh," she shrugged, "it's Sparkle Cola; less expensive than alcohol anyway."

I gave Yellow her drink, then turned back to Tinder. "Really though, you didn't have to do that."

"Oh come on," Tinder replied with mirth in her voice, "it's the least I can do after you saved my flank back in Nor-bell--well, me and the other guild members there. I mean, who else would have thought that destroying a large window would have been what saved us?"

My face was starting to blush again as I scratched my cheek and lowered my eyes; that was more of gamble than anything, but I'll take the compliment...if it was one.

"Uh...thanks."

Tinder chuckled, then placed her elbow on the counter and rested her head on her hoof as she faced me. "So..." She drawled. "This is the second time I've noticed you with that Stable friend of yours... You two...close?"

That was a strange question to ask, she wants to know about Yellow? I turned to Yellow and saw that she had placed a crystal berry over the bottle's opening, then crushed it with a quick downward slam of her hoof, forcing the juice and bits of the berry into the bottle to mix with the cola.

With both hooves, she then brought the bottle to her lips and drank from it. After a few gulps, there was a loud 'Ah' when she released it from her lips.

"What?" Yellow asked while she shrugged and licked her lips when she saw me staring. "Tastes even better." Actually, I think I might try that later...

I turned back to Tinder to give her my answer. "Not really." I replied before I took a sip of my cola.

Tinder smiled. "Oh, I see... Well tell you what." She then leaned closer to my ear and for some reason started whispering. "I've got a room in this town... Why don't you and I...spend some time there..."

I finished sipping my cola, placed it back on the table and faced her. "Sorry, I can't." She seemed disappointed, and so was I; she does seem like a cool pony to hang out with, but as much as I'd like to, I have a job to do right now.

"Why not?" Tinder asked, in a confused and...is that anger in her tone? Why is she getting angry? "Am I not--"

I raised my hoof defensibly. "Whoa, whoa, it's not that! I like you, and I'd totally like to hang out with you, but I hav--" Yellow then made a strange noise behind me.

When I turned around, I saw that cola was leaking from her nose and she was trying to suppress a laugh. "Oh..oh, I can't wait to tell Homage." She muttered as she continued to giggle while wiping her nose.

Tell Homage what? What was so funny that she snorted cola from her nose?

Deciding to not think about it, I turned back to Tinder and resumed what I was saying before I was interrupted.

"I just have something important to do right now. We can go somewhere some other time, deal?"

Tinder stared at me with one eye brow raised and a confused look on her face before answering. "Uh...deal?"

"Nice." I said with a nod. I then finished my cola, got up, and turned to Yellow. "Lets go."

Yellow guzzled the rest of her berry-cola, then got up as well. "Where to?" She asked.

"To--" I stopped. Right...I was planning to ask the bartender, but I may have burned that bridge when she found out I had no caps... "Uh, Tinder?"

She turned away from her drink and faced me. "Hmm?"

Tinder might know, she's been so helpful so far, and seems like she knows the place better than I.

* * *

Following Tinder's directions, I soon found myself a block away from West Avarice's casino, The Crypt. It was less bright (with the exception of the two search lights on its roof) and colorful than Parlor's and was decorated to resemble a mausoleum. Looking past the two guards and through its open doors, I saw that the only light inside came from torches spread out along the walls and showroom, giving light to the ponies inside playing the slots, tables or merely having a drink in the casino's bar at the other end. Also, there must have been some fog machines inside, because everypony was walking through thin mist hovering a few inches off the ground that was making it difficult to see the floor.

"Whoa, spooky." Yellow said, grinning as she as also looking into the casino's entrance. She then took a step towards the casino, prompting me to speak up.

"Yellow, what are you doing?"

She stopped, then turned around and looked at me. "What? I wanna go inside, the place looks cool."

I shook my head. "Nuh-uh, we're on a job. Besides," I pointed to the newly made scar on my leg, "you remember what happened the last time you wandered off?"

She stared at it, then bitterly sighed through her teeth as she looked to the side. "Fine..."

We then passed by The Crypt and followed Tinder's directions; she said that Headstone usually hangs out in a building a few blocks from the casino that used to be a mortuary. As we walked down one of the streets, looking for the funeral home, I noticed that the feel here wasn't that different from Mid-Avarice, as once again, I passed by working mares, addicts, and more chem dealers, the difference being that Headstone's gang (Or 'family' as they like to be called.) uniforms were black, button up coats with long coat tails and large white buttons.

A few minutes of searching and I found the building. It was a simple one floor building constructed out of bricks with two columns supporting the extended roof over the entrance, but what really tipped me off about this being the place were the last few remaining letters on the building's wall that read 'F-ner-l -ome'.

When Yellow and I approached the entrance, we were stopped by a burly earth pony stallion waiting by the door who was dressed in Headstone attire.

"Now who are you?" He asked.

I coughed into my hoof before replying. "We're representatives sent by..." It took me a couple seconds to remember the name of the gang in the east side of Avarice. "The Mini-Caesars... We've come here to speak with Headstone."

The stallion furrowed his brow and spoke with a hint of doubt in his voice. "Really? And why do you want to see the boss?"

"That's uh...between him and the Caesars..." He just stared at me while lightly shaking his head and tapping the ground with a hoof, signaling that he wasn't gonna let us in. Not knowing what else to do, I was about to turn around and walk away when an idea came to mind. "Alright, I'll leave." I said with a shrug as I turned around. "I'm sure you won't get in trouble when your boss finds out that the business deal he and my boss have been working on never happened... All because you refused to let us in."

Looking back at him, I could visibly see him getting nervous. Just to test him, I took a few steps forward, away from the building.

"Wait!" He exclaimed. I turned around, and saw that he was trying to force a smile. "I-I didn't know, I'm new." He opened the door and stepped aside. "H-head right on in, I'll take you to him."

"Thank you." Yellow said with a nod as we passed by him and entered; with her head held high like that, she kinda resembled one of those snooty residents in Tenpony...

The stallion closed the door behind us, then led us towards Headstone. We passed by several rooms, some nearly empty, some full of Headstone's ponies, and there was even a room just full of black coats on racks. Eventually, the stallion stopped in front of the mortuary's office door and opened it.

"In here." He said.

Yellow and I entered, inside, the room was fairly simple, just a large wooden desk in the center, a few chairs, a fireplace on one side of the room and two windows on the other. The chair behind the desk was turned around and had a large backrest, so I couldn't see Headstone. What I could see was a thin plume of smoke tailing from behind the chair; he was most likely smoking, and from the obnoxious stench of cigarettes in this room, he was probably a heavy smoker.

The stallion who lead us here walked in, and nervously spoke in the chair's direction. "Uh... Mr. Headstone, sir?"

"What?" Asked a raspy, cranky voice from around the chair.

"I've brought them, the ponies you've been expecting, the ones from the Mini-Caesars..."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Headstone said.

The chair then swiveled around, revealing Headstone. He was an earth pony ghoul with a black, button-up coat similar to his ponies, only the buttons on his were gold, looking at his uncovered parts, there were large sections of his tan coat missing, exposing his jerky-like skin beneath, one of his eyes was purple, while the other was a cloudy, murky white. He was also wearing an old, matted top hat, preventing me from finding out if he still had his mane or not.

"Th-these two, sir." The stallion apprehensively said, pointing at us. "Were you not expecting them?"

Headstone placed his hooves on the desk and inspected Yellow and me, sneering while doing so. With his tongue, he then moved the cigarette from one side of his mouth to the other before speaking to the stallion.

"I wasn't expecting anyone, you id--" He looked towards us and scowled. "The fuck's wrong with you?"

Me? There wasn't anything wrong with me. I then turned to the side and saw what he meant. Yellow had a fearful look on her face as she was shrinking away to the point where her back was against the wall.

She then pointed a shaky hoof at Headstone. "That pony! He's--he's de-dead!"

Wait... Did I never explain ghouls to Yellow?

Headstone gawked at her; I couldn't tell if he was insulted or honestly wondering what was wrong with her.

He then turned to the stallion. "I wasn't expecting nopony..." Headstone said, animosity underlined in his words, causing the stallion to pull his head back and his face to redden. "Get 'em out of here!"

The stallion quickly nodded, then turned to me, outrage that I had gotten him yelled at was clear on his face as he reached for me.

"Wait!" I shouted at Headstone as the stallion neared. "I need to talk to you, it's important!"

He glared at me. "I don't care."

"It's about the attempt on Parlor's life last night!"

"Ha!" He laughed, a puff of smoke escaping from his mouth. "Even more reason not to care!" He looked at the stallion again. "Out, now!"

The stallion wasted no time and quickly grabbed me, then despite my struggles, wrapped his foreleg around me and picked me up--I'm being stallion handled! He then opened the door, shoved Yellow out first--who was more than glad to leave the room, then he got on his hind legs, wrapped one foreleg around my neck, had his other hoof grab my tail, then threw me out of the room, headfirst into the wall opposite of the door!

When I landed on the floor, I instantly brought my hooves to my head and tried to rub the pain away; I couldn't tell if it was working, or making it feel worse!

Yellow lowered herself towards me. "P.I., you ok?"

"U-ugh!" I grunted with my eyes shut tight. When I did open them, everything was spinning and--dammit--my vision has been doubled! There was two of everything! Two Yellows orbiting each other, two of Headstone's guard walking back to his boss, and two of--ugh--some...somepony who was standing out here, a--a mare I think, probably waiting to see Headstone. I couldn't get a good look at her, she was a bit out of focus, but I could see that she was entering Headstone's office.

Headstone's voice reverberated in my ears before the mare closed the door. "Oh great, another one!"

Yellow was nudging me. "P.I.!"

"Healing...potion." I uttered as I continued to lay on the floor, writhing in agony while clutching my head. Since I didn't have the caps on me to buy more healing potions, I was hoping to save them for emergencies--but the pain! It felt as if somepony had opened my skull then constantly bludgeoned it with hammers! Also, ugh--I think--I think that throw...cracked my skull! Wait, I think it did! The only thing that wasn't double was the image my PipBuck was showing me of an earth pony buck who was frowning and his head was flashing red.

Yellow reached into my gymbag, brought out the bottle, then uncorked it and brought it to my waiting lips. I wrapped my lips around the bottle's neck and endured the pain as I lifted my head back, drinking it similarly to how the caravan stallion back at the bar was drinking his alcohol. After spitting out the bottle and letting the potion do its work, the pain in my head was receding, the buck my PipBuck was showing me's head was no longer flashing, and the world slowly focused into one and stopped spinning.

I got up and lightly rubbed my mane, feeling some kind of dust in it. Looking to the wall, there was a dent in it the same shape as my cranium. Now I know what was in my mane: specks of wall stuff.

"You ok now?" Asked Yellow.

I patted the bits of wall out of my mane. "Yeah." I winced and rested a hoof on my head; it may have been healed, but it still left me with a piercing headache. I then started for the exit. "Lets just get out here, Headstone won't talk to us..." I then stopped and my ears perked up when I heard a muffled 'thump' noise coming from behind.

"Why'd you stop?" Asked Yellow.

I didn't answer her and instead turned around and looked at Headstone's office door. That's strange... There's supposed to be three markers on my E.F.S. pointing in that direction, but I'm only picking up two... My eyes then widened when one of them suddenly disappeared, leaving only one!

I then quickly passed by Yellow and opened Headstone's door, what I then saw was not what I was expecting. The guard who threw me was the first thing I saw, he was splayed out on the floor, dead with fresh blood trickling down from a hole in his head. (Ok, maybe his headache might be worse than mine.) Raising my eyes, I saw Headstone slumped back in his chair with his eyes looking upward and black-ish green blood--or what counted for ghoul blood--was running down his face from a hole in the center of his forehead. After two seconds of seeing this sight, I immediately knew who did it, because the killer was still in the room. Turning to the windows, I saw a red coated mare opening one of them, a silenced pistol held in her magic.

Yellow walked over to me. "P.I., lets just go already, that dead guy is," she looked into the room and saw the two fresh corpses, "...dead..."

The red mare's ears twitched, she then turned around and saw us standing at the doorway. As I stared back at her, I realized that I found the assassin I've been looking for, and to my surprise, her description matched what the chem addict described. She was a red coated unicorn, one or two years older than Yellow or I, with a mid-length yellow mane and tail, seeing her for myself, I noticed that she also had blue eyes and her cutie mark was of...I don't know what that's supposed to be. It was of three bent arrows pointing at each other in a clockwise motion, forming a triangle; the arrows were each a different color, red, yellow, and blue.

To my confusion, she then smiled at me. "Oh, it's you again..." She said in a seductive yet mocking tone, as if she just ran into an old friend.

Me again? Wait a minute... That face, and that voice... I then mentally envisioned the mare wearing a lab coat and speaking in a timid tone.

'I'm...I'm Savvy...'

Son of a bitch... She's Not-Savvy! The mare I ran into back in Lakeside's computer room when I was running from Honey Suckle!

Speaking of Honey Suckle...I then remembered something that the real Savvy said.

'I got an alert on my terminal here saying that somepony was tampering with the main server. It was fortunate that I went down to investigate, otherwise you would still be down there. I don't know why somepony would jam that door with a steel bar though?'

Then it all clicked together in my head; the data mysteriously being erased from Lakeside's servers, the reason I nearly drowned myself stopping Honey because the door was stuck. It was her! She deleted the polymorph data and jammed that door!

"YOU!" I shouted, eliciting a grin from the red mare.

She grinned from ear to ear. "Ah, so you do remember me."

I took a step into the office. "Oh you son of a--"

"Uh-uh-uh." She said as she shook her head while pointing her gun at me. I reluctantly took a step back, and Yellow merely peaked from around the door frame. With her gun constantly trained on me, she started stepping through the open window and into the neighboring alley.

Not that I'm complaining or anything, but why leave and not kill us? Was she out of ammo? Strangely, I also noticed that her marker on my E.F.S. was still green and not red for some reason... Back when I was in Parlor's room, one of his ponies showed me the gun she dropped last night, so the one she's currently aiming at me must be a spare. Was that it, was she bluffing? Did that gun use different bullets that she didn't have much of on her? That seemed like the most logical reason, but I still didn't want to test her, at least not right now.

Once she made it into the alley, she magically brought her gun towards her and looked back at us through the windows. "Well, it's been fun, but I've got somewhere to be," she saluted, "toodles!" She then ran off. Shit!

Sparing no time, I opened my gymbag, pulled out the .32, bit the mouthpiece, then left the bag with Yellow as I dived clumsily through the window the mare left open. (Hey, I just got a head injury, excuse me for not jumping through it all graceful-like.)

"Where are you going!?" Yellow shouted at me from inside the office.

"Go-hn aphter herr! (Going after her!)" I yelled around the gun. I could still see Not-Savvy up ahead, and I immediately chased after her.

I heard Yellow's shout as I galloped after the assassin. "Hey, wait for me!" There was no time, I'd lose her if I waited!

The red mare exited the alley, crossed the street and ran into another alley. Oh come on! I've had enough of alleys for one day! I chased after her, trying to close the distance. While running, she turned back and saw me, then used her magic to knock over some trash bins once she passed them. I jumped over one, but the second one was right where I landed! I still kept pursuing the mare, however, I was doing so while running backwards on top of a rolling bin! This actually seemed to be increasing my speed, but I didn't care about that right now, as my focus was to keep from falling over!

At the end of the alley was a T intersection, and once the mare got there, she immediately picked a side and ran down it. Fearing to crash into the upcoming wall, I jumped forward off the bin and to avoid injury, I rolled when I landed. I faced the turn the mare went down as my side hit against the wall, seconds later, the bin I rode on thumped against my other side, then lazily rolled back down the alley it came from.

Looking into the new alley, I spotted the mare climbing a six story building's fire escape; she was currently on the third floor's. Once I started for the metal set of stairs, she looked down at me, then pointed her gun and fired! The firearm didn't make any noise, but I did see the flash of its barrel and the bullet shooting out of it like a shooting star! (Nevermind, she wasn't bluffing, she had ammo for it!) Thankfully, because of the lack of light in here, she missed, and the bullet pinged off the concrete near me, but man was that close!

I responded by aiming my gun up at her and activating S.A.T.S., however, it didn't do me any good; it highlighted her, but the lack of light and the poor condition of my gun had lowered my chances of hitting her near the single digits! Deactivating it, I fired two shots at her the old fashion way. I also missed, as one of my bullets hit the building's side and the other made a loud metallic sound as it hit the fire escape's railing. The mare continued ascending the rusted stairs, prompting me to give chase.

I approached the fire escape's ladder and caught it with my forehooves when I jumped, hoisted myself up, then started my own ascent. Peering around the railing and looking up, I saw that she had reached the roof. Thirty seconds later, I also climbed on top of it; there was enough light coming from the casino's searchlights passing overhead that allowed me to see my surroundings of a few roof entrances and dozens of sheets hung on clotheslines spread out over the roof.

I couldn't see her, but she couldn't have gotten away; there were no neighboring buildings near the same height for her to jump on to and the roof entrances were locked, so she had to be here somewhere.

Walking towards the center of the roof, I scanned around for her red marker-- There wasn't one. I could see a couple dozen green markers, probably from the ponies downstairs in the building, but no red one. Now that I think about it, I wasn't sure if her maker even turned red when she was shooting at me. Was this some trick she was doing, or did she never have the intention to shoo--

I stopped that thought when I felt something metallic and round pressed against the back of my head...

I heard the mare's voice and she almost sounded out of breathe. "Well...aren't you...persistent." I tried to face her, but stopped when she pressed the gun harder against my head. "Drop it...nice, and easy." I slowly lowered my head to the floor/roof, then gently placed the gun down. "There we go," I jumped a bit and my head quickly craned back when I felt her stoke one of my flanks with her hoof, "I like my stallions submissive." I rolled my eyes at that.

"So uh..." I said with a click of my tongue. "I never caught the safety word. What is it so I can turn around and see you?"

She chuckled. "Funny too, it's 'foreplay.'"

"Alright," I said, "foreplay..." I felt the gun ease off my head and took that as my queue to turn around. Doing so, I saw the mare grinning at me, her horn lit, levitating her gun that was pointed at me and in-between us, yet her maker still remained green... "You know," I said with a shrug, "I had plans for a possible date with somepony today..." I looked at the gun, then at her eyes. "Instead, it was happily spent looking for a magician hit-mare who coincidentally happened to be the same mare who tried to get me killed..."

"You know, I'm no stranger to sarcasm..." She said while rolling her eyes and her head a bit.

I once again looked at her gun, than back to her before responding. "Dully noted. So how'd you do it? How'd you escape from the roof of Parlor's building?"

She cheerfully tsk'ed while shaking her head. "A good magician never reveals her secrets."

I bitterly sighed. "Alright." I gave her a hard look. "So who are you? Who hired you to kill Parlor? To kill Headstone? Was it the Mini-Caesars? And one last but very important question...why'd you try to kill me?"

She slowly started encircling me and replied with excitement in her voice. "Oh, so many questions!" She then feigned a frown and disappointment in her tone. "Ohh, what's wrong, shouldn't you have found out by now? After all, you are a detective..." Wait, she knows I'm a detective!?

"How do you know that!?" I questioned.

She sported a devious grin. "Ah, Detective... Detective. Detective. Detective." She quickly repeated, each time taking a step towards me with her gun, causing me to take steps back. "Mmm, De-tec-tive." She said that as if she were savoring the word, then lightly grimaced while shaking her head. "Nah, doesn't have much of a ring to it." She brought a hoof to her chin and tapped it a few times as if in thought. "Oh, I know!" She said with amusement. "How about Lucky Horseshoe?!"

I silent for a spell before uttering, "What?"

"Lucky Horseshoe!" She said with a nod. "You know, that silly name you sometimes use!"

"H-how do you--"

"Oh, I know a lot of things! Including..." She took a few more steps towards me, and I took some back, passing through some sheets, but stopped when my rear hoof failed to land on something. I looked back, and saw that I was on the roof's edge!

"Fuck!" I yelled, trying to keep myself balanced, but the mare made it more difficult as she kept nearing. She then neared my ear and whispered in a seductive tone.

"Your name... Your real name..." My eyes widened when she whispered it to me. How did she know it!? Ever since I've became a detective, I've been so careful to never use it!

"Who...who are you?" I said with trepidation, my mouth's scar starting to sting...

Her lips still near my ear, she responded. "Well... Since I know your's, it's only fair you know mine..." She started caressing my chest with her hoof. "It's Triple Threat..." She then brought her muzzle to my mane and took a deep whiff. "Mmm, apples..."

Suddenly, my entire body felt weightless. The mare, Triple Threat, she was getting smaller and--wait... I'm falling! She pushed me off the building! At this point, I would have been screaming, but instead, what escaped my lips was one long gasp that I was sure would be my last.

As I fell, I saw one of the casino searchlights passed by her, turning her into a silhouette, yet I could still see her smiling...

* * *

Footnote: Halfway to leveling up

New Perk Ad--Whoa whoa, you're not getting any perks until you either level up, or finish your current case. Well...that is if you survive...so uh...try flapping your hooves real hard...

Author's Note

There! After two months, chapter five is done!

I apologies that it took so long for this chapter, I don't exactly live in the most 'writing friendly' environment. Also, sometimes I might add visual aids if I feel that I didn't describe something well enough, like the new character's cutie mark; had to make that with my 'amazing' paint program skills...

Next time, on Private I

"Another glass of cola, Homage?"

"Why thank you, of course." Homage said with a smile, using her magic to offer me her glass.

We were both sitting on a blanket that I laid out for us in the center of my office; I had to move my desk back against the wall to make room for our little picnic, but hey, Homage was worth it.

I opened the picnic basket, then used both of my hooves to pull out the last bottle of Sparkle Cola; the sole survivor of what was once an entire picnic lunch for two. Using one of my desk's corners, I uncapped it, then carefully filled the liquid into our glasses. As I poured, I glanced at the steel grey mare's eyes and smile, she caught me looking and giggled, causing me to tilt my head to the side, trying to hide my blush and smirk.

"Here you are." I said, sliding her the glass now full of dark, bubbly liquid.

Homage looked at the glass, then at me. "Again, thank you."

"Y-you're welcome..." I quietly muttered, trying to hide my reemerging blush with a hoof.

The mare stared at me with a bemused expression before lifting the glass with her magic, right when she was about to bring it to her lips, I spoke up.

"Wait!"

She moved it away from her lips and kept it level in the air, then stared at me, mildly confused. "Hmm?"

I nervously smiled. "I-I almost forgot." I reached my head into the basket, then reemerged from it with plastic tongs held by my mouth. Pulling out the metal container also in the basket, I opened it and revealed a whole slew of ice cubes within. After some careful movements, I snagged two ice cubes with the tongs, then dropped them into Homage's drink.

After adding some to my own, I spat the tongs back into the basket. "There," I said with a smile, "a mare such as yourself deserves a nice, cool beverage."

She eyed the floating cubes in her cola, then me. "Aw, thank you," she replied, before raising her glass towards me as if preparing to make a toast, "you're quite the gentlecolt."

I turned to the side and ruffled my mane with a hoof nervously. Homage didn't seem to pay that much mind, and instead brought her glass to her lips, the ice cubes clinking as they hit the glass. Deciding to join her, I started sipping from my own, moments later, Homage set her half-full glass down, then spoke.

"You know, it's kinda weird..."

My eyes widened as I stopped drinking, the glass still placed on my lips along with some cola still in my mouth. Oh, no. Does she think what we're doing now is weird? With a nervous gulp, I swallowed, then placed my glass down as well.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked.

"Yellow." Homage stated. "I mean, it's kinda weird that, out of the blue, she just decided to go back to her Stable."

I relaxed, so that's what she meant.

"Not really." I answered. "When she was with me, she saw for herself just what the wasteland can be like. When you have an option of living in either a dead, decrepit wasteland, or a nice, safe Stable, why choose the wasteland? Besides," I smiled and tilted my head towards my bedroom, "I get my bed back; I've been forced to sleep on the couch ever since Yellow 'bunked' with me."

Homage's ears perked. "Your bedroom?" She repeated with a hint of...was that nervousness I was detecting?

I slightly raised one of my brows as I faced her. "Uh...yeah. My bedroom..."

"Your..." Homage quietly muttered as she brought her hoof to her chin. She seemed to be in thought as her eyes went to me, then my bedroom, after a couple seconds of this, she nodded, then continued. "Say, uh, P.I.?"

I sat up straight. "Um, yes?"

She sighed as she looked at the glass half full of cola between her hooves. "P.I., I've...known about your feelings for me for quite some time now..."

Upon hearing Homage say that, my heart started pounding so loud in my chest that I could hear it. She knew? I-I didn't know how to respond. I opened my mouth to try to say something, but all that escaped from it was nonsensical mutterings.

"I uh, I..."

"P.I., it's ok." Homage said after she raised her head and looked at me, a warm smile on her muzzle. "You don't have to say anything because...," she then reached one of her hooves over to me and placed it over one of my own, "I feel the same way about you."

With my mouth still hanging open, my eyes went to her hoof on mine, then to her eyes. It was then that I thanked Celestia and Luna together that I was able to say the words I wanted to say.

"Y-you do?"

"Of course." The mare of my dreams said before she got up from the blanket and turned towards the door to my bedroom. "Why don't we go into your bedroom and," she then used her tail to brush under my chin, making my body feel unbearably warm, "...make it official..." She craned her head to look back at me, a sultry smile and desire in her eyes.

"You don't mean--"

"Mhmm." Homage sounded with a nod. "So, are you up for it?"

I knew what she meant, and the second she confirmed what I was thinking, my heart quickened it's pace and my lungs felt as if they were taking in less air or more--I couldn't really tell which. I wanted to respond with something witty, clever, funny, anything! But instead, I just bobbed my head up and down with wide eyes and my jaw hanging open like an idiot.

Homage giggled, then reached her hoof over to my chin and raised it, closing my mouth. She gave me one last look before slowly heading to my bedroom's door, purposely swaying her hips along the way, memorizing me. She opened the door, walked in, then nearly shut it to the point where only her hoof fitted through the opening, which she then used to gesture for me to follow.

I tried to calm down, but found that nearly impossible to do; my heart-rate just wouldn't go down! Ok, P.I, it-it's finally happening... You're gonna...do-the-do with Homage... It took me a while, but I finally manged to get up, once I did, I made small hops in place to warm up my leg muscles, and maybe to psych myself up as well... I was excited, I've always wondered what her cutie mark was--what with her always wearing a dress, and now, I'd finally get to see it!

After a few deep breathes, I walked to my door and opened it.

"Homage, I'm--" Suddenly, I wasn't sure what was going on! This wasn't my bedroom! It was an infinite void of blackness where only me and my door frame leading back to my office resided. I looked around the abyss. "Homage!?" I thought there'd be an echo, but there wasn't...

"P.I...."

That voice came from behind! I turned around and spotted...Yellow? She was very close to me, and had her hoof raised.

"WAKE UP!"

*SMACK!*

My eyes shot open! Yellow was standing over me and was...upside down? Wait, no, I'm upside down! I was laying on my back with my hooves in the air!

My face then twisted into one of agony, my mouth was open, yet no sound came from it. Eventually, I did scream, and for three reasons: My back and neck really hurt, the right side of my face was stinging, and the last but biggest reason, everything just then with Homage was a dream!

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Fallout Equestria: Private I.

Chapter 6

Chapter 1: On the Case

Chapter 1: On the Case

Fallout Equestria: Private I.

Chapter 1: On the Case

"Well, having read many mystery novels, I know that the only way to discover the culprit is to investigate."

* * *

I trotted amongst the ponies in the crowded, rainy streets of Manehattan. Most walked beneath the shelter of their umbrellas to stay dry from this downpour, but not me.

I didn't mind a little water, how could I? Not when I was so close to solving this case. I stopped under a balcony, then levitated both a cigarette and lighter from my pockets. After placing the cigarette in my mouth, I then raised the lighter to it.

For a few brief seconds, only the sound of scraping flint could be heard within the drizzle, which was soon followed by a spark of ember. With the cigarette now lit, I took a long, hearty pull of it, my mind pondering on how all the pieces came together. Still in deep though, I continued to inhale, feeling my lungs growing warmer; when I finally exhaled, wafts of smoke to emerged from my mouth.

Suddenly, a familiar voice came from behind, blurring the connection I was so close to making.

"You seem oddly relaxed for a stallion in your predicament."

And there she was, my mysterious informant, the most attractive pegasus I've ever laid eyes on. She was still wearing that brown worn raincoat from when we last met. Oh how I wanted to tell her how horribly it clashed with her blue coat and long lavender mane tied in a bun, but who was I to judge another's fashion choices?

"Listen, Detective," she said with that alluring voice of hers, albeit a bit raspy. "I have very important information that you need to hear regarding your case."

"Oh?" I answered casually, pulling my head back in contained surprise. Turning sideways, I took one last pull of my cigarette, then flicked it in the gutter and watched as the rain water carried it into a storm drain. I was far from finished it, but I've been meaning to quit anyway.

"Yes," she replied before looking around, smiling nervously to any passing ponies she accidentally made eye contact with. "We can't talk here, though, they might be watching. Come, follow me."

She made into a nearby alley, but stopped in her tracks when she noticed that I remained where I was.

"Well?" she asked hastily, turning back to me. "Aren't you coming?"

"And why should I?" I said, patting my shoulder of non-existent dust. "I don't know the first thing about you. We've only met like, three other times; each under extenuating circumstances. Forgive me if I don't blindly follow you into a seedy-looking backstreet."

She just stood there, eyes focused on me, her lips pursed as if in thought. Finally, after a seconds of me meeting her gaze, she spoke.

"You're... You're just going to have to trust me."

"Heh," I scoffed in amusement, "give me one reason why I should."

She looked me straight in the eyes, and with one sentence, changed everything I thought I knew, rocked everything I believed to be fact in this case.

"Because I--"

*Knock knock knock!*

Bookmarking my place, I laid my book down and let out a deep and drawn out sigh. It's almost like the universe waits until I'm fully immersed, just so it can snap me back to reality all the much harder.

Well...it might be someone looking for my services, and that means a chance for me to earn some caps.

"Give me a minute!" I shouted towards the door. Getting up from behind my desk, I made a quick scan of my office to make sure everything was tidy enough for my unknown guest.

The room was a small office, previously a hotel room, with plain wallpaper that was once pure white, but was now a dull yellow from nearly two centuries of neglected aging. The furniture consisted of a wooden desk near the back with two chairs (one for myself and one for any guests I'd have), a file cabinet tucked away in one of the corners, a bookcase proudly displaying what little of a book collection I had, and a couch near the entrance. Other than the doorway in, there were two other doors. One led to an even smaller room where I kept a bed, and the other was the restroom's. Hanging from above the center of the room was ceiling fan with a light that surprisingly still worked. What little natural light this room got during the day came in the form of horizontal, dull light piercing through the window blinds.

Noting that everything was as spick-and-span as it'd ever be, I walked across the room and started making my way towards the door, only to stop and inspect myself in the bathroom mirror.

Looking back at me was the usual sight: a malachite-green coated earth pony buck of average build with turquoise eyes and a short unkempt dark mane. At first glance, you might think that my mane and tail were black, but if I were to stand directly under a light, you'd see that they're really an extremely dark shade of green.

Thankfully, I was still wearing my normal attire, a white, long-sleeved collar shirt, and a dark gray business vest over it that had barely noticeable thin white vertical lines, all pressed and ironed from since morning. Also, running around my neck, as well as under my shirt's collar before ending under the vest, was a black tie. On my head rested a fedora, the same gray color as my vest and a black band spanning around its underwelt.

With that accounted for, I then leaned forward over the sink, raising a hoof to my face so I could inspect the old scar on the left side of my mouth. The scar ran vertically through my upper and lower lips, and had the same distinct, bright fleshy-pink color that everypony had beneath their fur. Personally, I kinda like the scar; I feel like it gives me the whole 'rugged wastelander' look. After splashing a bit of water on my face, then drying it with a towel, I took a step back and turned a bit to my side so I could get a look at my cutie mark. There, resting on my flank was the image of a magnifying glass with hoof prints running under it; one of said prints was seen through and enlarged by the glass.

Oh...that's a little too messy, I thought to myself before running a hoof through my mane, trying to get it into some form of order. Normally I wouldn't really care much about my appearance, but in my line of work, it's important for me to at least try to look professional.

*Knock knock knock!*

I better hurry out now, whoever it is seems to be getting impatient. Best to not leave them waiting, as I wouldn't want them to storm off out of frustration.

After flashing myself one last look in the mirror, I stepped out of the bathroom, then unlocked the front with a subtle 'click'.

"Come on in," I said to my recipient, opening the door and letting it sway inwards as I walked back further into the office. I took my usual seat behind my desk, rested my elbows atop the wood, then pointed a hoof the one opposite of mine. "Please, take a seat."

"T-thank you," my guest answered somewhat warily as he stepped hoof over my office threshold.

With my caller approaching, I could see that he was an aged orange unicorn, wearing some sort of hide, wide brim hat atop his head. I couldn't help but smirk when I spotted the hole he made in his hat for his horn to go through. Looking at the uncovered parts of his mane, I noticed it was a graying red that matched his tail; he might be around his 50's.

Now seated, the aged stallion then proceeded to look around the office, then looked at me for a couple seconds with a confused look on his face.

"A-am I in the right office?" He asked with a deep, rough voice. "I was told this is where I would find him."

"That depends, sir." I said. "Who is it that you're looking for?"

"The detective!" The stallion exclaimed, almost jumping out of his seat. "Is he out!? Are you his assistant? I really have to see him!"

Well that caught me a bit off guard. 'Assistant'! Ah come on! What kind of assistant would dress like this? My outfit doesn't exactly scream 'assistant apparel'.

None the less, I put on my best 'I really didn't mind that comment just now' face and responded as politely as I could. "You're...looking at him."

The stallion's eyes widened in shock. "You? But you're...you're..."

"Young?" I finished for him.

My guest rested more easily in his chair. "Well...yeah." He lowered his head and started eyeing my hardwood floor. "I came all the way out here to Tenpony Tower, looking for a serious investigator to help me. Instead, I find a colt playing detective...and how old are you even, boy?"

Oh not this again. Nearly everypony who comes in here has this preconceived notion that I would look like some hardened, middle aged stallion with like...a kajillion scars from a lifetime of detective work! Can't they be glad that I have just the one?

"Twenty," was my response, "but that doesn't ma-"

The stallion started to get up, cutting me off mid speech. "I think I have made a mistake here."

Raising a hoof, I motioned for him to sit back down. "Sir, you came in here hoping to find someone who could help you with your problem." I pointed to the door. "You can go back through that door and look again for someone to help you. Heck, I hear there's a nice cheese shop somewhere in this building. Maybe it's run by someone twice my age, would you prefer their help? But you asked around for a detective and obviously your search lead you to me."

That seemed to have silenced him. Now to continue this over-used speech of mine that I could recite in my sleep from sheer repetition.

"I can assure you, I am highly recommended because I do very efficient work regardless of my age. Now, you can either leave here with no help to your problem, or you can sit there, shut up, tell me what your problem is, and maybe I might be able to help you."

The stallion stared at me with his mouth open and a bewildered expression on his face.

...Now he's just staring at me, is he going to say something or not?

Oh... I just realized my mistake, boy did I get caught up a little too much in the moment. I didn't even realize I was standing with my front hooves on the desk.

I sat back into my chair. "Y-you....can forget the 'shut up' part." I coughed into my hoof, trying to regain my composure. "Let's start with your name."

The stallion was silent for a moment before speaking.

"I guess you're right. And I am desperate." He took a slow breath to calm himself before continuing. "Folks call me Ol' Citrus."

Good, progress.

I closed my eyes and nodded "Ok, that's better. Now, tell me, what is it that you need from me?"

He looked away. "It's my daughter..."

"What about her?" I asked.

He looked straight at me, and I could clearly see the worry in his old eyes. "I think she's been kidnapped."

* * *

I raised an eyebrow. "You...think?"

"L-let me explain!" Citrus shouted, almost as he believed that doing so would chase away my doubt. He took a moment to get his thoughts in order, then spoke. "I'm the owner of a large brahmin ranch just a little west o' here." He pointed west...through one of my walls... "The family and I earn our trade from the brahmin, and it has made us very wealthy, but our true passion is our orange orchard." Citrus smiled a little as he pointed a hoof at his cutie mark of an orange sliced in half; it almost resembled a wheel.

"Hold on." I cocked my head as I looked at his cutie mark. "How do you have an orange orchard? I can't imagine being able to grow a thing with what little sunlight we get because of the cloud cover."

Citrus actually chuckled a bit before answering me.

"Oh I’m quite wealthy. Used some of that money to build myself and the family a greenhouse large enough to grow them." He almost seemed lost in his memories for a moment before quickly snapping back to the matter at hoof. "Anyway, my daughter, Tangerine. She loves the orchard, so much so that she decided to start her own and run a business with oranges as her main trade."

He continued his story as I made mental notes.

Slowly I got the gist of it.

Apparently the deal he made with his daughter was that he would provider her with a place to set up shop, and in exchange, it was to be in a settlement of his choosing. He settled on a place called Woodtrot. From what Citrus told me, he chose Woodtrot because it was the nearest to his ranch and was secure; he said the place was more than capable of defending itself if it were to be attacked by raiders.

"So what makes you think that she's been kidnapped?" I asked.

"Every couple of days, she would send the family a letter via a trade caravan that visits the ranch and Woodtrot. She would tell the family of her progress with her own orchard and her time there, but then...her letters just stopped coming."

"Maybe she's too busy with her own business?" I added.

"I thought that too at first. So I asked the same caravan to check up on her in Woodtrot"

I leaned in. "...And?"

Citrus suddenly looked crestfallen. "They didn't find her..."

"I see," I uttered, resting back in my chair, "this doesn't explain why you think that she's kidnapped."

"My daughter wouldn't make us worry like this; if she were to go off somewhere, she would have informed us." Using his magic, Citrus started fiddling with his hat. "It wasn't until the next day that I received this." Removing his hat, he pulled out a folded sheet of paper from it.

Citrus floated the paper over to me. Unfolding it, I began to read; the message was short and to the point.

WE HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER

IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER ALIVE AGAIN

LEAVE TEN THOUSAND CAPS

INSIDE THE ABANDONED BARN

NORTH OF WOODTROT

TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT

I raised my eyes over the paper and looked at Ol' Citrus. "Did you?"

Without skipping a beat, he answered. "Of course...but I still didn't get my daughter back. That was two days ago, I'm not even sure if the sender ever had her to begin with..."

I lowered my eyes to the top of my desk, and started rubbing my chin with a hoof. "I think I'm starting to get the picture here."

Whoever it was that may have his daughter, they didn't send the ransom letter until after the caravan started asking around Woodtrot for Tangerine. It's possible that the one who sent the letter was probably somepony taking advantage of the fact that Citrus's daughter is missing.

"So..." I leaned back into my chair. "Why come to me? Surely with your caps, you could have hired hordes of mercs to look for your daughter."

"I could have, yes." A frown appeared on Citrus's muzzle. "But they would have drawn too much attention in their search. If somepony does have her, the presence of mercs might cause them to go to extreme lengths... possibly even...", his mouth quivered for a second, "...'disposing' her to cover their tracks."

Ok, I'm starting to get it now. "So you want to send one pony to look for her. Somepony who would be more subtle...me."

"Yes!" The old stallion lifted from his seat and clasped both his hooves over my desk, his old eyes on the verge of tears. "Please! If you're truly as good as I heard you are, then I beg you; please, please, find my daughter!"

I had to give this some thought. There was the possibility that Tangerine might be...well, I have to tell him. "If I accept your case, just be aware that there's a chance that she might not be alive..."

"I-I'm fully aware of that possibility..." He gritted his teeth. "If something has happened to her, then I'd like you to find those who are responsible, and tell me... I'll make sure that justice is delivered..."

The guy has the caps to hire hordes of mercenaries, the kind of 'justice' that he was referring to was blatantly obvious, but...a job is a job, and Goddesses knew that I could really use the caps.

"Very well," I said, "just know that I don't come cheap. I'm gonna have to be paid some of it up front," I shrugged, "for expenses."

Ol' Citrus nodded quickly. "Anything; money is no option when it comes to Tangerine." To seal the deal I offered my hoof to him, which he swiftly accepted with his own and shook with no hesitation. "Thank you! Thank you, bo--, I mean, Detective...uh. I'm sorry, I got so caught up that I never bothered to ask for your name."

Glad that he dropped the whole 'boy' thing, I happily answered him.

"Just call me P.I."

* * *

Tenpony Tower, (from what I could gather), used to be the Manehattan hub for the Ministry of Arcane Science before the bombs fell. Now, it's home to ponies who wish to live a luxurious life away from the harsh wastes just outside of this building. A good chunk of the ponies living here would often be described as...'snooty'. Thankfully, not all of them are; I learned to tolerate the unpleasant ones pretty quickly after recently becoming a citizen here a couple months ago.

Normally it would take either years of applying or an insane amount of caps for somepony to be accepted here. My citizenship however was under...special circumstances.

Before moving here, I lived in a place not that far from here called Friendship city. It was an ok place, though growing up there, I did find it a bit odd that a group of survivors one day looked at the Statue of Friendship and said to themselves 'Gee, you know what would be a great idea? Building a settlement inside that giant statue waaay out there over the water.'

Eh, who am I to criticize? The place is currently thriving and secure, so somepony made a good call. Living there was nice and all, but the clients I got there either didn't pay me enough, or didn't at all.

It wasn't until somepony from Tenpony and their filly visited that I got my lucky break. Well... it was lucky for me, unlucky for them. See, the day after they arrived, the foal went missing. Turns out that somepony...pause for the big shocker...took the filly and held her for ransom. (Oh, how history continues to repeat itself even to this day...) It was then that I offered my services when Friendship City security had failed to locate her.

It took a while, but I managed to find the filly in the lower levels of the city. She was being held by a Dash addict looking for a big score. After easily overpowering the addict, I then brought the filly back to her parent safe and unharmed. The parent was extremely grateful, and it was there when I learned that this pony had ALOT of pull in Tenpony when instead of being payed in caps, I was offered citizenship to the tower. Which, if it wasn't obvious by now, I graciously accepted.

Living in the tower has its advantages. For one, if a client were to come looking for me, I would automatically know they could afford my services. After all, if they could pay to enter the tower, then I know they are good for it. However, this place does have its downsides. For example, you'd have to contribute to the towers economy, meaning that all citizens are required to pay a lease for their businesses and homes. (Good thing I live in my office.)

Getting paid upfront was a Goddess send; normally when I ask that from my clients, they would turn me down. A part of me kinda hated taking advantage of Ol' Citrus like that, but I was kinda short on caps for needed supplies if I was to find his daughter.

* * *

The shopping floor in Tenpony had a wide selection of stores to choose from, and each one sold different goods and services; some of these were even exclusive to the tower itself. I mean, where else in the wasteland would you find an actual spa? But if I wanted my face covered in mud, I could do it for free. No, my destination was elsewhere, a store called 'Guns and Couches'.

The bell above the door chimed as I entered. Inside, the store was filled with a couple couches along the walls and showroom, and between some of them stood mannequins, each dressed in a different set of protective barding. At the back of the store, behind the counter, was a weapon rack with a wide assortment of weapons displayed; melee, ballistic, magical, and plasma weapons, this place always had something new each time I entered.

A voice rang out from the doorway leading into the back room. "You here for a couch!?"

I chuckled and leaned on the counter. "Sorry, Chesterfield. Already got the one."

"You know, P.I." Chesterfield said as he walked through the doorway and stood behind the counter. "You could've just humored me for once."

Chesterfield was one of the few Tenpony residents whose company I found pleasant. He was a brown coated unicorn with a tan mane, around my height and age, with a cutie mark that showed some sort of glossy looking tan couch with a diamond pattern and round arm ends.

"Hey, the only reason I even own one," I smiled, "is because I did just that."

"Hmm fair enough, so..." Chester clapped his hooves, "for what do I owe the pleasure?"

With a hoof, I tapped the top of his counter. "Got a job. Gonna need the usual; ammo, healing potions, and...it."

Quickly, Chester ducked behind the counter then reemerged moments later with a box.

Placing it on the counter, he opened it to reveal a black .45 semi automatic, magazine fed pistol that had etched lines of silver along the edges of the slide and mouth-bit. It was a beautiful weapon...my weapon.

I even gave it a name...Conversationalist.

I traced a hoof over it until Chesterfield yanked it away with his magic.

"Nuh-uh. You still haven't paid me for repairing it." He said as he hugged Conversationalist to his chest as if it were his baby. "You're an ok pony in my book, P.I., but I've put a lot of work getting this into working order, and I still have a business to run; it's been weeks since you dropped this off with me, and I still haven't seen any payment. Also, how did you even get brain matter stuck in the slide?"

I looked Chester in the eyes and quickly replied. "Me and a suspect were having a very civilized discussion using our bullets. At some point during our talk...I ran out of ammo."

Chester gave a mock chuckle. "Very funny, but you're still not getting this or any of the things you need until I get what you owe me." Waving his hoof, he tried to shoo me away. "I'm sure you're a tough pony, just avoid getting shot at."

I was anticipating this, so I planed a very civilized and sophisticated strategy. I coughed into my hoof to clear my throat, then took a deep breath before implementing it.

"OH COME OOOOOOOOOOOO--" I continued that note for a full minute until I slammed my head and front hooves on his counter, then made a sniffling noise. "--NNNnnn."

"Oh you big baby!" Cried Chesterfield. "Come back when you marry royalty or someth--"

He stopped mid sentence when I dropped a small sack just overflowing with caps on his counter. Still half laid on his counter, I tilted my head to look up at him then grinned. (Did I just hear something squee?)

Chester slid the sack over to himself and placed Conversationalist next to my head. "I wasn't invited to the wedding?"

"Sorry." I said as I pulled out a second sack full of caps from my saddlebags. "But to make it up to you, I have enough left over to purchase that other thing I've been wanting."

Chesterfield smiled as he eyed the caps.

I smiled as I stared at the item that I have been coveting for quite a while, still sitting in its display case.

A bit of haggling and one transaction later.

"You know," Chesterfield said as he placed the caps he earned after our deal in his store safe, "those two were here earlier asking for you again..."

After placing Conversationalist in my sidearm holster strapped to my right foreleg and putting my newly bought bit of merchandise into my saddlebags, my ears drooped as I turned back to him. "What did you tell them?"

"What you told me to say. That you," Chester made air quotes with his hooves, "'were away on business.'"

I relaxed and wiped my brow. "Whew...thanks for covering for me."

The store pony shrugged. "Think nothing of it." He then folded his hooves over the counter and leaned forward. "Who are they anyway, and why do they always ask for you when they visit? Do you owe those two or something?"

The bell above the door chimed once again as I opened it. "I guess you could say that..."

Chester slowly shook his head. "Meh, it's none of my business. I'll send your ammo and healing potions down to the security checkpoint. You should be able to pick them up when you leave the tower."

One of the Tenpony rules was that you could walk around with your weapon, but ammo was to be left with security at the front gate. One could retrieve them when exiting the tower.

I nodded in acknowledgment, then pulled the door closed behind myself, causing the bell above the door to ring once more.

* * *

After quickly heading back to my office to collect my brown duster coat, I entered Tenpony Tower's ornate marble lobby.

Even after the bombs, this place held a high standard of cleanliness, complete with an actual, pristine chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The lobby was once the station for the Celestia line that was integrated into the tower itself, several stories up.

Stepping outside the lobby, I walked through the heavily guarded security checkpoint, received my supplies, and walked past the decorated armored double doors. As they closed behind me, painted in red across the gates were the words 'NO ZOMBIES'. Probably insisted by some of the more 'unpleasant' residents who couldn't tell the difference between a regular ghoul and a feral...bigots.

A burly voice came from some distance behind me. "Are you the detective?"

Facing the direction the voice emanated from, I saw two heavily built earth ponies stallions strapped to a cart along the train rails.

I nodded. "Yeah, that's me."

One of them pointed to the back of the cart. "Mr. Citrus told us to take you to Wootrot as quickly as possible."

I hopped in the back, then addressed the stallions. "Alright fellas, I'm ready."

The two ponies glanced at one another and nodded in unison, then immediately took off in a full gallop down the Celestia line. I was unprepared for this as I nearly got whiplash.

It took a couple minutes, but I got used to the cart constantly rocking every which way. The trip was going to be a while so I took this opportunity to load up Conversationalist with a fresh magazine, took stock of healing potions, bandages, and several syringes of Med-X. Now that everything was accounted for, I opened up my saddlebag and rummaged around for the item I recently bought from Chesterfield that I've been wanting for a very long time.

Finding it, I pulled out a box. Lifting it's lid revealed what looked like a metal cuff that had a couple of buttons and a small screen.

What I had in my possession was an actual, never-before-worn PipBuck. I don't know how, nor do I care, but Chesterfield was able to find one still in its original box.

It was also a good thing Chester had the tools to unlock it before giving it to me.

I slapped it on my left foreleg, then locked it in place. After a satisfying click, the screen slowly lit up, then about ten seconds later, a compass flashed into my vision. Words could not describe the amount of glee I felt as I slowly turned my head and watched the compass change direction; looking at the two stallions caused two green dots to appear on it. I had heard of this, it was called an Eyes.Forward.Sparkle, or E.F.S for short, but this was only one of the many functions this PipBuck could do. This little wonder would monitor my health, keep track of my inventory, take notes, assist in terminal hacking, and even though I'm an earth pony, the PipBuck's magic would detect and activate something called S.A.T.S for me, if I wanted to use it. Stable-Tec.Arcane.Targeting.Spell or S.A.T.S, is a pre-programmed spell in the PipBuck that would assist me in combat. I wasn't exactly sure how, but I believed that I'd find out soon enough.

Oh, and I almost forgot its other neat feature! A couple button presses later and...

"Goooood evening everypony! It's me, DJ Pon3! How are you all doing in this dull and mundane apocalypse?! I hope you're all ready for some neeews!"

Laying on my back, I watched the cloud layer as I got caught up in wasteland recent events.

* * *

Footnote: Level Up

New Perk Added: Up Front-- When dealing with clients, you have a 10% chance of convincing them to pay you in advance. However, there is an equal chance that you might feel bad about it later.