Boulder Was Hungry

by Captain Hurricane

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Maud Pie, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life
Length: 1476

Maud Pie is a busy college student, but she always makes time for her pet rock, Boulder. When he gets a late night craving, Maud feeds him. Hilarity ensues.

Maud Pie is a busy college student, but she always makes time for her pet rock, Boulder. When he gets a late night craving, Maud feeds him. Hilarity ensues.

Cover art by EhhErinn.

Published 2014-09-29 15:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-29 15:40:03 UTC

Rainbow Rocks. Emphasis on rocks.

Rainbow Rocks. Emphasis on rocks.

Stones of all shapes and sizes adorned the young woman’s room. Geological samples from volcanic pumice to geodes and gemstones littered the multitudes of shelves that showcased Maud Pie’s extensive collection. Hard at work, and lost in deep, trancelike thought, the room’s sole living occupant (though Maud might say all her rocks were alive) sat at her writing desk, composing the latest in her metamorphic musings. Pencil in one hand, and pet rock in the other, she scribed her thoughts to paper as easily as skipping stones over a calm spring lake.

Maud Pie reviewed her work, keenly scrutinizing every detail, every syllable, making sure every line expressed her outlook on life with prosaic flourish.

Feldspar is simply serious.
Corundum’s far too tough.
You should never take for granite
A diamond in the rough.

She turned the loose sheaf of paper over. The blank space was a canvas, waiting to be decorated with the latest work of art from the mind of a poetic genius.

Rocks. They are musical. They sound like rocks.
Rock and roll. Rocks roll.
I saw a concert with a rock in my pocket.
It was a rock concert.
There were rockets at the rock concert.
Rockers rocked at the rock concert with rockets.

The finishing touches gave true soul to her poetry, the final burst of creative energy spent giving function and form. In a rare display of emotion, she slowly raised one eyebrow.

“This is my finest work. What do you think, Boulder?”

Her pet rock, a small specimen of shale, said nothing. In his silence, volumes were spoken.

“I was thinking the same thing. You practically read my mind.” The fledgling geologist gently placed her constant companion down on her desk. It seemed that Boulder had enough of her attention for the evening and craved some solitude. She declined to argue with the stoic stone, but gave him an affectionate pat on the head anyway.

Maud slowly batted her eyes and ran a comb through her purple locks, admiring her gaze in the mirror. Men at college were paying attention to her now; although a love life was not high on Maud’s priority list, she still valued free time to make herself look attractive. Between writing poetry, chemistry lab, and the field geology course on her plate, a social life was already dead on arrival.

Two quick knocks on her bedroom door interrupted her introspection. She set down her latest pages of poetry, carefully placing Boulder on top so that they wouldn’t be disturbed by the cool and gentle autumn breeze blowing through the open window.

“Yes?” Cracking the door open towards her slightly, Maud answered with her signature monotone as two bright blue eyes and a fluffy pink head forced their way inside her geological sanctum.

“Hiya Maud! The girls and I are ordering pizza and I know how much you love pizza so I thought to myself, ‘Wouldn’t Maud love some pizza?’so I came over and knocked on your door and now here I am to find out what you want on your pizza!” Maud’s manic (and breathless) sister Pinkie was dressed in her signature pink pajamas adorned with party balloons; her hair seemed even more wild than usual. Maybe it was just an optical illusion, but Maud could never be sure.

For what seemed like an eternity to Pinkie, Maud stood silently at the threshold contemplating her choice of topping.

“Mushroom.”

“Oki doki Loki!” The pink blur swiveled in an about face, stopping just as her sister called out.

“Pinkie?...” Pinkie knew that voice. The one that was not quite commanding but not quite passive; the one Maud typically used when her older sister wanted something from her. Fluffy curls of pink began to descend as a wave of defeat overtook Pinkie’s normally hyperactive personality.

“I…I’m really sorry that me and the girls are making lots of noise but my super bestest pony princess friend from another dimension is here working on a magically musical spell to save the world, and I swear I’ll turn down the volume so that you can sleep and stuff when….”

“…Can you get me a pint of ice cream?”

Pinkie Pie perked up at her sister, surprised that she wasn’t being chastised for the late night noise-filled sleepover.

“Sure! The usual?”

Maud slowly blinked twice while gently nodding her head affirmatively in response. The pink blur left the room with staggering haste in her quest to acquire Maud’s dairy dessert.

Interruptions dealt with, Maud turned back to her desk, settling in once again to her familiar rhythm of composing poetry, reciting it for Boulder, and responding to his feedback. She barely got two poems down before a plate with a slice of pizza and a pint of ice cream were thrust into her face.

“Anything else I can getcha, sweet sister of mine?” Pinkie batted her eyes in playful innocence. Looking up from her writing, Maud grasped the plate and ice cream container after shifting her poetry into the upper corner of her desk as far away from accidental exposure to late night junk food as possible.

“A spoon.” Maud’s request was quickly fulfilled as the plastic wrapped utensil was retrieved from Pinkie’s hair. “Thanks again, Pinkie,” Maud deadpanned as she grabbed the spoon. She nearly cracked a smile for her younger sister.

Nearly.

The pizza was fairly decent. Being a college student, Maud was somewhat of a connoisseur of delivery pizza these days. The first bite Maud took was swiftly chewed and swallowed; the rest wasn’t far behind. She had been a bit hungrier than she originally thought; who would have guessed poetry could leave one so famished?

“I don’t suppose you have any extra slices? Boulder hasn’t eaten yet,” Maud included as her younger sister was leaving her room.

“Sorry Maud. You got the last slice.” Pinkie looked crestfallen; dejected; sullen.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll find him something later.” She grabbed her pet, dropping him into her pocket, despite his objections to the contrary.

“You sure, Maud? I feel super duper bad about not getting your Boulder buddy a bite…”

“Go, Pinkie. Your friends…don’t keep them waiting. Have fun with your pen pal.” She practically had to shove her sister out the door.

“But...Okay. You’re the best big sister best friend forever, ever!” With a brief but lovely embrace, Pinkie Pie finally left her sister’s company, heading across the hall as she returned to her role as slumber party host.

Finally alone with her indulgence, Maud carefully opened the pint of ice cream. She lifted the lid off with a practiced precision; no errant drops of dessert made their way onto her desk. The spoon dug in to the creamy confectionary, each sweet bite a tantalizing reminder of true bliss.
Its name was Rocky Road, and if anything on heaven or earth were close to perfection, Rocky Road ice cream was it.

*********

“It’s two in the morning. Can’t you wait until breakfast?” Maud’s hair was a mess. Strands of light purple scattered in every direction. Boulder didn’t seem to mind; in fact, he regarded Maud’s hairstyle as he did all things—with cold, stony indifference.

“Okay already. I’m up. You don’t need to shout.” Half conscious and zombified, Maud shuffled her feet out of her room, her steps heavy on the second floor staircase. She could hear the faint sound of voices from the kitchen; she was certain Pinkie’s was not one of them. She didn’t exactly make a lot of noise when she walked in, but it wasn’t like she was trying to sneak in, either. Boulder’s contribution, of course, was only silence. She held Boulder in her hand, his grumblings consistently repetitive. Two of the slumber party guests were up late; one of them was in the fridge.

“What would Pinkie do with all this whipped cream, anyway?”

“Beats me. Wait, did you hear that?”

Closing the refrigerator door, a red and blonde haired girl turned and reeled back in surprise from the barely conscious Maud.

“Boulder was hungry.”

The cabinet door swung open wide, revealing a plethora of breakfast cereals. Oaty Os, Loop de Loops, and Pot o’ Gold were great choices, but Boulder had far more discerning taste. Grabbing a box of Cheezits, she poured out a modest amount and fed her friend.

As Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle looked on, a small pile of crackers fell to the kitchen floor. With his appetite finally sated, Boulder’s complaints ceased.

Maud Pie turned and slowly retraced her steps to her bedroom with zombie-like grace, where blissful sleep waited with zen-like patience. Her soft bed engulfed her in night’s gentle embrace; darkness, silence, and warmth conspired to lull her once again into a magical dreamland, where she could indulge in whatever fantasies her heart desired.

She dreamt of rocks.