Princess Celestia's Break

by Dream Seeker

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Princess Celestia
Length: 1074

Princess Celestia wants a break. Queen Chrysalis wants love. What could possibly go wrong?

Princess Celestia needs a break. After a thousand years of non-stop hard work with no break, Celestia decides that she needs one. Now. Of course, a Princess can't have breaks, so she goes to Queen Chrysalis for help.

Published 2014-09-29 13:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-29 13:30:02 UTC

The Deal

Celestia groaned. She really was not looking forward to court. Suddenly she sat up as an idea came to mind. Queen Chrysalis had transformed flawlessly into Princess Cadence and taken her place for a month before being found out. What if Celestia could pay her to be a Princess for a week or so? She flew off to the Badlands, grinning.

Chrysalis frowned. More of her subjects were dying every day, but she couldn't figure out how to get the love that she so desperately needed. A changeling entered the room, scuffing the earth nervously.

"Yes? What is it?" Chrysalis asked impatiently.

"Princess Celestia is at the door. She would like to speak with you." the changeling spoke fearfully.

"Send her in. Let's see what she wants." Chrysalis sighed. It wasn't like she could stop Celestia from doing what she wanted anyway.

Celestia strode in, grinning crazily. "I would like to make a deal with you, Queen Chrysalis."

"What is it?" Chrysalis asked unenthusiastically.

"I need a break. Can you fill in for me for a couple days?"

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. "You're joking. Right?"

"Nope."

"And I'm not dreaming?"

"Nope."

Chrysalis's frown broke into a smile. "Of course I'll do it! Everypony loves you!"

"That's the payment." Celestia smiled. "See you tomorrow, to discuss any concerns you may have by then?"

"See you."

Celestia strode off, grinning. One disguise spell, two teleports and an exchange of bits later, she stood at a beach. A surfboard lay next to her, and she took a deep breath. Waves crashed and broke over rocks as Celestia went surfing for the first time in millennia.

Chrysalis entered the throne room, disguised as Celestia. She took her seat on the royal throne, grinning at the amounts of love she was getting already. The Hive could be sustained for a week already, and she'd only been there for a few minutes!

"Ah, there you are." Princess Celestia's secretary said. "I have your schedule for today."

"Oh?" 'Princess Celestia' said. She wasn't used to having a schedule. "What's first?"

"Tax meetings. Then you have open court, then diplomacy with the griffons, then open court, then you have to listen to the Nobles talk about what new laws they want to create."

"That sounds like a lot." the disguised Chrysalis replied. "That's all today?"

"Today's schedule is smaller than usual, actually."

"Let's get on with it, shall we?"

"Follow me to the tax meeting."

Chrysalis followed the secretary to a meeting full of arguing ponies, who immediately stopped and bowed to her the moment she entered their field of view.

"Ah, Princess!" one of them said. "We were just discussing a new tax on farms. We need to raise money for a new statue to be built in the palace."

On the inside, Chrysalis was furious. After starving for so long, she had gained a great appreciation for producers of any sort of food. That these ponies wanted to take away from them, so they could have another useless statue, just rubbed her the wrong way.

"No." she said simply. "How about a tax on anypony without a job to raise money for the statue?"

The ponies shifted uneasily. "That sounds fine, it's just..." one said.

"None of us have jobs." another finished.

"So?" Chrysalis asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's you who's going to benefit from the statue, so you might as well pay for it."

The ponies spluttered. "Well, I never-" one replied, looking aghast.

"Pay for something... Ourselves?" another asked, confused.

"Yes." Chrysalis sighed. "You must. Either that or get a job."

"A... job?" one asked, uncomprehendingly.

"I'm exempt, right, auntie?" Blueblood asked.

"No, you're not. In fact, I think you should get a job too." Chrysalis said through gritted teeth. She was beginning to see why Celestia needed that break.

"Time is up, you have to go to open court." the secretary whispered to Chrysalis.

"Finally." Chrysalis muttered back. "Let's hope court goes better."

Court wasn't better. It was worse. All around her stood noble ponies and common ponies in pairs, each with the noble pony trying to squeeze a few bits out of the common pony. Each time Chrysalis had to explain what they were doing wrong, why what they were saying didn't back sense, and command them to give the common pony some bits as to compensate them for the lost time. After the the first hundred, they finally learned, and left before Chrysalis took more of their money.

"Are you feeling alright, Princess?" the secretary asked.

"I'm fine." Chrysalis said through gritted teeth. "What's next?"

"Diplomacy with griffons."

Chrysalis frowned. The griffons had responded violently to the changelings' attempts to seek peace, which led to her invasion of Equestria and the subsequent death of many of her subjects. She didn't like them at all.

Chrysalis gritted her teeth, once again. This griffon was not only rude and mean, but a total bore! Not a single interesting word came out of his mouth.

"I'm declaring war against Gryphonia." Chrysalis declared calmly.

"W-w-what?" the griffon spluttered, coughing on the glass of water he had been drinking.

"Yes." Chrysalis said simply. "Guards, take him away."

"But-" one protested.

"Just do it!" Chrysalis snapped. "Then prepare for a full-scale invasion of Gryphonia!"

"We don't have enough warriors to-"

"Then I'll ally the changelings and request their help!" Chrysalis replied. "Just do it!"

Celestia groaned. After only one day of ruling, Chrysalis had already managed to anger most of the nobles, declare war on Gryphonia, ally her own species and send the nation into turmoil.

"Not my problem." she muttered in response to Chrysalis. "I'm going to go back to surfing."

Chrysalis looked panicked. "No, wait! I can't do this! It's not worth it!"

"Too bad. Deal with it." Celestia replied, teleporting away.

Chrysalis realized that she had been stuck with the bad end of the deal. "Fine then." she snapped at the air. "I'm going to rule this country like I want!"

Only then did she realize that a squadron of Royal Guards were passing overhead on their way to Gryphonia, and saw her transform into Princess Celestia.

"You're under arrest!" Shining Armor announced as he cast a spell on her.

"Buck." was the last thing Chrysalis thought before her vision went black.

Author's Note

Celestia likes surfing.

Just a random thing I felt like writing because I did.