Chapter Twelve: The Great Cougar Princess, Celestia

The next day, after I could fully recover, the ponies decided to celebrate me for saving them, and even named the day “Earth Day” after me. I wasn't much to gloat, so I instead just shyly smiled at everypony as they thanked me for saving them. Mayor Mare, as she had the misfortune of being named, gave me a “Key to the City”. Taking a quick glance into the room she retrieved it from revealed many other identical “Key’s to the City”, making me think that everyone in this town regularly did good deeds. I went over to the lunch table and started chowing down when suddenly everything went quiet. I heard stallions shushing fillies, and the sound of metal clanging against the dirt roads of Ponyville. A regal trumpet sounded, and I didn't even need to turn around to know who it was. “Sunbutt…” I said, quietly to myself. I turned around, my mouth still full of food, and found Princess Celestia no more than five feet away from me. “Gut afphternoon Thunbu…I mern, Prinfess Ferestia.” I said, completely forgetting my sense of manners.

I swallowed quickly and then saved myself by saying, “Ah. I beg your pardon. Good afternoon Princess Celestia.” I bowed lightly, “What brings you to Ponyville?” I looked up and saw her looking down at me with stern eyes. “You do, Earth. We need to talk.” Using one of her massive wings, she motioned towards her royal carriage. When I got on, I cheerfully waved to the citizens of Ponyville. Most of them seemed disappointed I was leaving. I turned to face Celestia. In the fan-fictions, she always knew exactly what was going on, so I asked her “How long have you known?” A bit surprised by my question, she turned to look at me and raised a hoof.

“How long have I known what?”

“That I’m…err...that the parasite was going to infect Discord…?” I said, figuring out that she actually didn't know I wasn't from this world, at least not yet. However, my replacement question wasn't the best thing to ask either, as she narrowed her eyes and said that there was no possible way of knowing that. The tone in her voice seemed to hint if I made another remark like that I’d be going over the side of the carriage.

“Regardless, I believe you came to Canterlot about five days ago.” She spoke matter-of-factly.

I replied, “Yeah, I did. I talked with Luna for awhile.” I turned away from Celestia as my face went bright red at the memory

Man…I should’ve nailed the hell outta’ Luna…those gorgeous eyes and that shapely bod-No. No. Not now. Don’t get an erection in front of the Princess.

I looked down to make sure nothing was happening while the Princess spoke of useless facts.

It was happening.

I brought my hooves forward a little closer to my body and slouched a little more. “Are you sick?” Princess Celestia asked me, alarmed.
“No, no! Don’t worry! I just like being as low to the groin…err…I mean ground as possible!” I stammered.

“Look. I need to know how Luna acted when you met her. You were the last person who saw her.” She said, motioning for the guards to fly lower.

“Uh-huh...” I said, staring at my ever growing erection, hoping the Princess wouldn’t notice.

“What did she say? Did you do anything? How did she act?” The Princess demanded, believing I was still listening.

“Well, she got on top of me…and asked…holy shit can my erection get any bigger?” I said, without thinking.

I looked up, nearly instantly.

The Princess looked at me, alarmed.

One of the Royal Guards pulling the carriage looked back at me.

The Guard sitting next to him winked and mouthed “Nice one.”

For the rest of the ride everyone sat in silence, broken occasionally by Celestia delicately clearing her throat. The Guards let us off at Celestia’s tower, and I noticed how it compared to Luna’s in direct contrast. Instead of being dark and gloomy, it was sun-filled. The whole room appeared to glow white, and the stained glass contained many vibrant colors, apparently showing important Equestrian history. While walking through the halls, I noted a seemingly new mural of a six ponies being united by some sort of magic. They seemed to be the ones I had talked with earlier, as I noted Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. We walked into Celestia’s throne room, and she turned around quickly and asked if I liked bananas. I politely said no, but she kept staring at me, her iris’ slowly shrinking. She walked away, saying she’d be right back.

She came back with a brown bag full of bananas, and I realized how unladylike the Princess was when in private, as I watched her devour the whole bag within five minutes. Feeling awkward sitting there, I piped up, asking what I had been brought here for. She asked me about Luna again, with her mouth full. I told her that, “She got on top of me, noted that I didn't have a cutie mark, and that I didn't dream. She essentially accused me of being a Changeling.” Celestia absorbed this information, and trotted to a nearby window pane.

Celestia has such a huge as-NOPE. I don’t want to run out of Canterlot twice. Just…think about something else.

I looked towards a mural and saw Pinkie Pie. That only helped it to progress as I suddenly had flashbacks to that day in the forest. “Err…if you will excuse me, Princess. I need to get going.” I said, nervously. Celestia turned around to face me and was about to say something when she saw my erection.

“Uh…That’d be best. If you did that. I think I have enough…uh…info. Thank you, Earth.” She said, feigning an attempt at covering her eyes. I don’t know why, but she was secretly eyeing me through her hair. Knowing that fact made me more ballsy than usual, and I almost said something, but decided against it. One pony is enough…One pony is enough…One PONY IS ENOUGH…ONE…

My mind snapped and I couldn't take the stress any longer. I turned around to face Celestia who had adopted a face I could only say was a mixture between pompousness and “come get some”. I sprinted as fast as I could towards her and tackled her to the ground. I wasted no time.

A Royal Guard peeked in and I immediately heard the sounds of vomiting, followed by hushed whispers and more sounds of vomiting. “Oh, Mother of me and all that’s holy! Mother of me and all that’s holy!!” Celestia kept chanting “Sweet me, this is so Gooooooooooood! It’s been so long!” Unfortunately, her large wings kept slapping me in the face, so this was all but annoying for me. She remedied this by wrapping her silky tail around my body and just pulling me back and forth this way, freeing up my frontal hooves for keeping her wings out of the way. I couldn't believe it; Celestia was tighter than Pinkie Pie. A second wave of vomiting was sounded, and at this point I just thought; Fuck them all.

We finished up after I heard vomiting for the tenth time. This was about an hour long, three times as long as with Pinkie. I don’t know if Celestia used her magic to prolong it, or I used my own magic, but it was incredible. I laid with Celestia for a while, stroking her mane and rubbing against her muzzle when I heard the vomiting for the eleventh time. I staggered away from Celestia, and burst open the door to be greeted by a tidal wave of vomit and the sight of eleven guards, a twelfth one just arriving. The sight of the Princess covered in cum was enough to send him over the edge. Anything quirky I was going to say just immediately vanished as I myself vomited. After cleaning myself up, I thanked Celestia for her hospitality and wished her well in her finding her sister. She said she may require my services another time, but “…certainly not for sex.” I could care less.

I just got to fuck Royalty.