Banned From Equestria

by Hydra_Fiend

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Tragedy, Discord, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, DJ P0N-3, Dark, Main 6, Romance
Length: 35001

A human get's dragged into Equestria, but desperately want's to return home. Can he make it back to Earth unscathed, or will he be forced to live in this land of ponies? Inspired by the game "Banned From Equestria (Daily)"

Inspired by the infamous game of the same, Banned From Equestria tell's the story of a non-brony being forced to adjust to life on Equestria, and his struggle to return home, while paying homage to the game.

Published 2014-09-30 21:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-30 21:00:04 UTC

Chapter One: The Great and Powerful Trixie

To be quite frank, I don’t remember much from that day. All I remember is that it was sunny and I literally stayed home the entire day. I had a late shift the day before, and I was tired as shit. I think I played Xbox all day. Anyway, the time came around 8 p.m., so I proceeded to bed. Around 11 o’ clock, there was this strange…mechanical whirring sound. I don’t know how else to describe it.

A massive teal portal materialized in front of me. In its entirety, it stretched from floor to ceiling, making it at least eight feet tall. Wispy grayish blue smoke swirled around on the floor and it suddenly began to smell like flowers. Only when I realized I had moved somehow to the foot of my bed did I notice I was being pulled into the portal. I was sucked in, before I had a chance to fight it. I blacked out as soon as I entered.

When I woke up, everything was blurry. My whole body was tingling and felt different. I looked left but could only see a blurry red color. The same view was on my right. I looked straight ahead and saw a blue form in front of me. It took me about ten seconds for my eyes to partially adjust, and when they did, I saw a blue creature wearing a magician’s hat. “Ah, good! You've awoken. Now then, listen to the Great and Powerful Trixie…” she rattled off some useless facts. I wasn't exactly concerned about what she was saying. I was more concerned about what she just said.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie…?” I murmured aloud.

She clearly heard me as she looked at me with contempt. “Why, that’s who I am.” She moved her head closer to mine, and I could finally get a better view of it. A million thoughts flooded my mind as my eyes finally fully adjusted to the bright sunlight and I could see everything, near and far. She had a horn. She had a snout. She had massive eyes. I couldn't believe it myself, but I had to ask it aloud to see if it was actually true,

“Am…Am I a pony?”

She threw her head back and began to laugh “Of course! The Great and Powerful Trixie made you one!” As she said her name a second time, a rainbow explosion took place overhead. I immediately tried to stand up, but then fell down. It was at this moment I realized I wasn't bipedal anymore. I shot a look behind me at this “Great and Powerful Trixie” and grasped her head with two…”hooves” and shook her.

“What did you do to me? Why am I here!?” I pleaded with her. Not affected, she simply brushed my hooves off her and smirked. She then simply trotted away. That was it. I get transported to a world full of ponies and my jailer simply walks away, either dooming me forever, or simply letting me do whatever the hell I wanted.

Trembling, I stood up. I really knew nothing about this world…sure, I knew some of the characters, but I didn't know their attitudes, their aspirations. That rainbow explosion, for example. Was that Rainbow…Brash or something? And I thought, for an instant, I saw a pink flash when talking this “Great and Powerful Trixie”. I looked towards the town and began to walk there. I didn't know who or what awaited me…

Chapter Two: Party With Pinkie

When I arrived in Ponyville, as I soon discovered it to be named, I was greeted to a massive influx of ponies. They were all hustling about, getting to their house or just running errands from what I could overhear. I still couldn't believe this. It had to be a dream. I slowly walked through the center when I was knocked down by someone, and when I got up I found two large blue eyes staring into mine. “Ohmigosh Ohmigosh Ohmigosh are you NEW to Ponyville? Oh hi there! My name is Pinkie Pie eveypony’s favorite pony here I throw parties for every new pony here what’s your name oh no I’m late for my meeting with Rainbow Dash gotta go bye!”

And just like that the quickest meeting of my life was over. I stared dumbfounded at her as she bounced away, knocking over several ponies. A gray flying pony must have seen me because she floated up right next to me and said, “Yup. That’s Pinkie Pie for you.” I looked at the one speaking to me, only to see her eyes were…”off-centered”, to put it nicely. She must’ve seen my staring because she withdrew and whimpered “I was born like this…” I instantly apologized, saying I was still in shock about my encounter with the Pink one. I asked her what her name was and she replied that she was “Ditzy Doo, the Mail-mare of Ponyville! But just call me Derpy! All the other ponies around here call me that!” When I asked her how she got her wings, she simply giggled and replied that all pegasi have wings. With that, she bid farewell and floated away, bumping into a cloud.

So, a pegasi, huh? I thought. I wondered what type of pony I was. I had seen flying, horned, and just plain ones at this point, although there may have been rarer ones I had not seen yet. I looked to my left and right to disappointingly notice I had no wings. I couldn't tell if I had a horn or not, so I jogged on over to a nearby water source. I looked at my reflection; I was a red pony with brown hair, mustard colored eyes, and didn't have a horn. Wonderful, that “Great and Powerful Trixie” could’ve at least given me some wings and a horn I glumly thought.

About the time the sun started to set, I suddenly realized I had nowhere to go. Everyone was starting to go indoors as well. I walked up to a Cupcake shaped building that was brightly lit and entered. A rather portly teal pony looked at me. “Why, hi there. We usually don’t get visitors around this time. What would you like?”

After I realized I had walked into a bakery store and not a hotel of some sort, I managed to stammer out “Oh! S-sorry…I thought this was a hotel…W-would, you, uh, happen to know where an-“ She began to laugh loudly at this point, and said “Why, of course you can stay here, pumpkin! We have extra bedrooms upstairs!” She exclaimed, still giggling.

“W-wow, really? Thanks! I have nowhere else t…I mean, I’m new in town.” I said. She nodded, understandingly and gave me a set of sheets. “What’s the catch?” I asked without thinking.

“Catch? Whatever do you mean?” she asked me, looking at me with pure innocence. When she asked me that, I knew I had made a mistake; I was used to Earth, still. People don’t just do you nice things on Earth for no reason. But this pony, this teal pony, was doing this just to be nice, and there actually was no catch.

“Ah…” I struggled to think of something to say, “Where I was staying before, they had me do some intensive labor there…” and when I said that, she frowned and shook her head.

“I swear, the rudeness of somepony’s. Well, don’t worry, I’ll make sure you stay nice and comfortable here.” With that, I entered my room and bunked down, surviving my first night in this new world.

Chapter Three: Rainbow Crash

I awoke to sunshine and the sound of intense gibberish below me. It initially alarmed me, because I lived alone, until I remembered what, and where, I was. I slowly walked, or trotted, rather, downstairs and saw the pink pony from yesterday. I tried my best to avoid getting into her line of sight, but suddenly she just appeared in front of me. “Hi Hi Hi! You’re that red pony I saw from yesterday! How’re you doin? My name is Pinkie Pie, oh but *giggle* I already told you that! What’s yo-“ she was cut off by the teal pony.

“Please Pinkie, leave him alone. He’s had a rough night.” I raised my eyebrows at this remark. As far as I could remember I slept just fine. “What do you mean?” I asked her, cautiously.

“Well, I don’t know. Around 10 o’ clock I just heard you screaming out. When I came to check on you, you had fallen outta’ your bed, still asleep. When I got real close to you, I heard you whispering intensely about something…I could only make out one word; explosion.” I told her I recalled none of this, and that caused her to shrug it off as well. “Yeah, I suppose it could’ve been just a weird dream of mine…” she motioned towards her head and made a circling motion with her hooves, smiling, “…I do have weird dreams. After all, even Mr. Cake didn’t hear you.” I thanked her for her hospitality, and she informed me I could come over to bunk there any night if I had nowhere else to go. Again, I thanked her, and exited the bakery. Before I opened the door, I looked back at the pink pony. For some reason, she had the ability to make those burst out in Laughter around her. I chuckled to myself as I saw her entertaining some customers, and then stepped out into the crisp, warm sunlight. I was almost immediately knocked over by a rainbow flash. I rolled about 20 feet before finally stopping, with this cyan pony laying below me. I stood over her and she looked at me, her face getting extremely red. I stood there, not understanding her embarrassment. “What’s wrong?” I asked, tilting my head a little as I asked.

“Could you…get off of me?” She asked, angrily. I simply shrugged and got off of her, and then sat down about two feet away. She got up, brushed herself off and proceeded to hover in front of me. “So, who are you?” I asked her.

“Me? I’m Rainbow Dash!” She pumped her hooves into the air, and at that moment I got the feeling this one was a bit narcissistic. “…But surely, you must’ve heard of me!” she pointed her hoof at me.

“I can’t say the name sounds familiar. And don’t call me Shir-“

I didn't get to finish my joke, as she said “What?! Never heard of me?! I’m gonna be famous someday, because I’m gonna fly for the Wonder Bolts, I’m gonna-“ I interrupted her by asking who in God’s name the Wonder Bolts were. She simply stared at me, her jaw dropped incredibly low “I- How…How do you not know who the Wonder Bolts are?! And who the hay is God?!” she demanded loudly, a crowd starting to gather.

Realizing I really needed to stop mixing both my Earth culture and the ponies culture together, I managed to stammer “Uh…I mean…the deity here…the one you, uh, worship? Or the one that rules over you? I’m err…new in town…” I said, looking down at the ground.

Just a few seconds ago, she was the embarrassed one, but now she reversed that role. “Yeah. That’s Princess Celestia. She’s awesome, alright?!” Suddenly she came face-to-face with me, pushed me back with her hoof and demanded “Just where do you come from!? No one insults the Princess and gets away with it!!” I began to back away, the feeling of her being narcissism being replaced by the feeling of either extreme Loyalty, or just plain aggressiveness.

“Um, I uh…” I couldn't find any words to save myself, and I kept staring at the ever growing crowd and Rainbow Dash, fearing for my life and dignity.

She suddenly, and randomly, broke out into intense laughter and said “Hooo boy! I got you good! You shoulda seen the look on your face! You were all like ‘Oh no Rainbow Dash, please don’t hurt me!’”. Any red that was still on my face changed from embarrassment to anger. “I-You…” I managed to say. The crowd had broken into laughter too and had slowly broken apart. Once I realize the silliness of the situation, I managed to produce a chuckle, saying “Yeah…you did get me good.” She playfully hit me on the shoulder and said, “So, what’s your name?”

“My name? Oh, it’s-“

Oh, shoot! Sorry, but I got an auditioning for the Wonder Bolts! Catch you later!” And with that, she zoomed off, a rainbow trailing her flight pattern.

I stared in awe, saying “That’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

A sneer was sounded from behind me, saying “Oh, puh-lease, if you would like to see something beautiful, deary, then why don’t you come on over to my boutique?” an extravagantly dressed white pony said, trotting up alongside me. I knew this one. When I was on Earth, forum boards on 4chan would refer to her as “Marshmallow”. I smiled at the memory, and she must’ve mistaken that as some form of acknowledgement. “I see I've piqued your interest. Here…” she handed me a coupon of some sort, “Use this and you’re eligible for one free purchase! My name is Rarity, by the way.”

I stared in awe, saying “Th-That’s very nice of you to offer, Mar- I mean…Rarity.” She simply winked at me and then trotted away.

“…Marshmallow” I whispered, breaking out into ecstatic laughter as soon as I did. I decided to just lay there on the ground for some time, laughing in random spurts. I think, at that point, I had realized that this truly wasn't a dream, and that I really was in this land of ponies. I just didn't know how to get out, or if I even could. One thing was for sure, though; this place was a thousand times over better than Earth.

Chapter Four: Read A Book!

Chapter Four: Read A Book!

After I got up from my laughing fit, I proceeded down to the town Library, which was a very large house built inside of a tree. I wanted to see what kind of material these ponies read, and figured I should get to know a little history and anatomy so I don’t run into any trouble like I had before. Still not entirely used to my new body, I trotted the best I could over to the local library. I knocked on the door and was greeted by a small little purple dragon “Yes?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Um, hi. I was led to believe that this is where the local library is.” I told him.

“OOOoooh! But I just finished reorganizing the books alpha…well, never mind. Yes, come on it.” He said, dryly. Trying to make small talk, I asked him if he owned this library, to which he replied that a purple pony by the name of Twilight Sparkle actually owned it. I inquired if she would mind if I used that, and his only response was taking out a piece of paper, scribbling something on it, then breathing fire on it. Thinking it as odd, I helped myself to the volumes upon volumes of books located here. I pulled out Equestrian History, Nightmare Moon: A Detailed History, and a book that looked like the Kama Sutra for ponies. I hid the third book between the other two; I didn't really feel like getting to be known as the “creepy pony who checks out sex books” for a first impression. I checked them out, and trotted on back to the bakery.

When I entered, I greeted the pink pony with a smile. I asked her “So, uh, I don’t think I ever quite got to know your name.” She replied, slower now, that it was Pinkie Pie and began to hop around the store, saying how excited she was to have another friend. I nodded to her and began my ascent. She called my name when I reached the top and I turned around, just to see a cupcake flying towards my face. With quick reflexes, I managed to catch it. “Whao, Pinkie Pie, dis shtuff is really good!” I said, my mouth full. “Tanks!” she smiled and said.

“Thanks! But just call me Pinkie! All my other friends do!” and she then bounded back to her place at the register, awaiting for customers. Once I got into my room, I made sure to lock the door. The first book I was going to read was the Pony Ana- “Oh go…Celestia damn it! Or whatever the hell they say here!” I grabbed the wrong book. Uninterested, I flipped through a few pages, only to see that this book did indeed cover sexual positions. I finally got to a page where the position was known as “Top-Down”. The male would get on top of the female and…Ah. I realized that’s why Rainbow Dash was so embarrassed. I flipped through the other pages and noted that each stance would've looked like a very casual position in terms of being in public, excluding the obvious “Pony-Style” which looked equivalent to how some mammals breed on Earth.

Had I not known this were actual positions, I probably would've been registered for a sex offender, or something bad.

I swapped books and cracked open Nightmare Moon: A Detailed History. The book basically covered Princess Luna’s descent into madness and her eventual transformation into Nightmare Moon, the antagonist seen in the first two episodes. I began reading my final book, which also happened to be very old and weathered, Equestrian History. This book covered things that happened over five thousand years ago, including some snake-like creature whose name was mysteriously etched out, and a rather evil looking pony known as King Sombra. Satisfied that I now knew a little more about this world, Equestria, I went to sleep.

Chapter Five: We Are The Cutie Mark Crusaders!

Chapter Five: We Are The Cutie Mark Crusaders!

When I awoke, I still didn't have anything planned. I asked Mrs. Cake if I rolled out of my bed again. She shook her head and smiled, saying that it was pretty uneventful. I sat down at one of the chairs and pondered what I could do. After I saw a transaction occur, I realized I should get a job. What better place to get one than here? I asked Mrs. Cake if I could work here, and she seemed relatively overjoyed at the prospect. “Why, you don’t need to if you don’t want to. I wouldn't want to trouble you!” Denying any trouble that the job could possibly give me, Mrs. Cake proceeded to hand me a schedule. I didn't start work until next week, and I shared shifts with Pinkie Pie. She assumed that I also didn't have any cash, so she handed me fifty golden coins, known as Bits. It appeared this was the only type of currency in this world. Satisfied, I left the Café, and decided to visit Marshmallows Boutique.

Along the way, I ran into three particularly annoying small ponies. I had the unfortunate misfortune of crossing their path. All three of them stared at me. “Muh…Mister?” asked the yellow one with the red bow. “Why don’t ya gotta’ cutie mark?” I didn't know how to reply to her question, considering I had no clue what a cutie mark was. Attempting to sound as polite as possible, I asked her what a cutie mark was. She gulped, and then said “Well, yah see…it’s this little…”, she made a shrinking motion with her hand, “…mark ya get on your thighs. It signifies what your special talent is!” She pointed to herself and the other two fillies. “We call ourselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” The other two beamed at me.

“Ah…that’s very nice.” I said. “What are your names?” The white one with a curly mane that was colored white and purple spoke up first,

“I’m Sweetie Belle!”

The yellow one with the red bow said “I’m Applebloom! And that…”, she motioned to the orange one with the purple mane “…Is a chicken!”

Getting a strong feeling that was a joke, I said, “Why, it’s very nice to meet you, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and…chicken”

The Chicken got red with embarrassment and said “My name is Scootaloo!” The other two laughed playfully and Scootaloo, after a while, began to laugh as well.

“But, seriously, Mister, where is your cutie mark?” Applebloom persisted. I looked at my thigh, and then at the thighs of some passing ponies. They were right. I didn't have one. I told them that I guess I might have an invisible one, but that made them think they should try to get an “Invisibility” cutie mark, like mine. They zoomed off. I smiled at the three crazy fillies and entered the Boutique.

“Uh…Marshme-“ I began, just as soon as she appeared from a corner. When she saw me she beamed at first, then glared at me.

“Spi-? Oh, it’s just you.” She said vindictively.

Oh crap! Maybe she heard me call her Marshmallow! I thought, beginning to sweat.

“Err…Yes, so I was wondering what you have for sale?” She trotted over slowly, eyeing my entire body, before realizing that I was nervous.

“Oh my, deary am I scaring you? Sorry, I've just had a woefully bad day, and I was expecting someone else…” she chuckled lightly “…What can I do for you?” I sighed a breath of relief and asked her what she had for sale. She brought out a clothes rack all-lined with gigantic hats.

They were hideous.

And extremely feminine.

“Ah…Do you have anything for…stallions, and not for mares?” I asked.

“Oh, but of course! I apologize dear, most of my in-store costumers are mares.” She paused when she went to switch racks, and looked back at me “…actually, all my customers are mares.” I just said screw it at that point and I bought a gigantic black and purple hat emblazoned with amethysts and sapphires. I almost paid for it when she reminded me “But I gave you a coupon, didn't I?” She had indeed, but I completely misplaced it. I told her that I must’ve lost it and she shook her head. “No, No, No this will not do. Take the hat for free! I gave you a coupon that you didn't get the chance to use!” I was entirely dumbstruck by her Generosity. Never in my life had I met anyone as generous as her. I initially tried to protest, but seeing as how she had her mind set on giving the hat away for free, I thanked her tremendously and went on my way. Realizing I had not gotten out of town since my arrival, I trekked out into the nearby forest, only to find a home. I saw a yellow pony with a pink mane tending to some animals.

I trotted up to her and said hi. This action was met with her flying ten feet up straight into the air and crashing back down into the ground. She quickly turned to face me and cowered. “Oh…I’m sorry. Did I frighten you?” I asked, slightly raising my hoof.

She whimpered in response and said “N-No…I’m sorry. I’m just really shy.” I hadn't heard her, and asked what her name was. “It’s Fluttershy” I simply shook my head in reply, and asked her if she owned this house. She whimpered again in response. Realizing I wasn't getting anywhere, I left and began to explore a different area of the countryside and found a large, dark, forest. I was about to step in when a voice called out “Wait! Don’t go in there!” I turned around to find a purple pony with her wings spread.

“Oh! You must be Twilight Sparkle” I asked her. She closed her wings and looked up with a defiant face. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, yes that’s me!” I then asked her why I shouldn't go into the forest, and she promptly told me that was the EverFree Forest, a place where dark and dangerous things lie in wait. I nodded and once she departed I left the area as well. I noted a castle far off in the distance. That must be Canterlot. Deciding I’d go there tomorrow, I trotted back to the Café and went to bed.

Chapter Six: The Princess Of The Night

I boarded the train the first thing in the morning. It was about a five hour train ride there. I didn't, nor couldn't, do much, what with the Royal Guards everywhere. I trotted around the castle gardens, when a guard walked up to me and said that someone by the name of Princess Luna wanted to see me. He led me to her and left me alone in a room with her. A large, midnight blue pony was seated in a throne in front of me. This room was decorated with mainly black paint and dark blue accents, with stars and a moon scattered throughout the room. The windows themselves were stained dark blue, making any light passing through them glow an eerie dark blue color. The Princess opened her eyes, and I saw they shimmered an emerald green. She spoke to me “I’m sure you know why I've called you here?” she cautiously asked. She must’ve had no idea what she herself was talking about. I didn't know why I was here, and I let her know that. After musing for a few moments, she simply said “Ah.” And then asked me, “Do you know who I am? I’m the Princess of The Night. I see what goes on in the night. I can…delve into people’s dreams.” If she was implying something at that moment, then I completely missed it. She cocked her head to the left and asked “Do you know what I've seen in your dreams?” Trying to recall what dreams I had, I found myself not being able to remember any.

I ventured a guess and asked “…err…Bad…ones?”

She shook her head and said, “No. You haven’t been having any dreams at all”.

It was almost as if that sentence was meant to have some profound effect on me. Make me notice something strange going on. But, it really didn't. I found it natural to have no dreams some days, as that happens occasionally. I just raised my hoof slightly and said “Ooook?” Yet again, she cocked her head “You think I jest? No, I do not. Everypony that has ever lived dreams. The only beings that do not dream…” she widened her eyes and smiled lightly, “…are Changelings”. She, again, gave me that look that almost seemed as if she implying something. I was as clueless as that Chicken I had met yesterday. “Furthermore, you don’t have a cutie mark. This leads me to believe you are not a pony.” Sensing danger, I instinctively backed up.

“W-Wait a second, Princess. I don’t know what’s going on here. What are you-“ my sentence was interrupted as she pounced on top of me. I now knew what Rainbow Dash had felt like. With her muzzle pressing against mine, she asked

“Who. Are. You?”

And for once, I didn't know. Who was I? I remember where I came from. Earth. What was my name? Did I have a family? A girlfriend I forgot about? Thoughts raced through my mind, and I stammered out what I knew. “I-I come from Earth…not here…” was all that I could say. She withdrew her muzzle slightly, eyes still locked onto mine.

“Ah, so you come from the Earth Pony School. In Appleoosa? A very prestigious school!” is what she said. Having no clue where the hell that was, I just nodded yes. She hesitated on top of me and I prayed that she would get off me soon; I didn't want to be trapped in a situation like this. She looked out of one of her stained glass windows, still on top of me, and said “Yes…Appleoosa. A strange place.” She looked down upon me, and then to the door. She smiled and said “I see. I’m sorry for doubting you”. Her eyes quickly flashed a sage color, and she was about to ask me something, when I suddenly felt an intense burning sensation in my thigh, and a bright white light enveloped the room; A cutie mark had apparently appeared, in the shape and form of Earth.

Even though I essentially just blew what I actually was earlier, I attempted to conceal my cutie mark. When she removed my hoof and looked at it, she pondered at what it meant, but seemed disappointed for some reason. At this point, it was getting awkward. She had been standing over me for the last five minutes, slowly lowering her body. In fact, I could feel the tip of her belly touching my stomach. I suddenly realized how, when in the light, beautiful she looked. Her long eyelashes, the almost silky like texture of her hair, and how beautiful her eyes were, and she met my gaze by staring at me seductively. Suddenly, I felt something rising in my lower body and pushed her off and cantered out of the castle as fast as I could. I boarded the next train and decided to not come back to Canterlot for a while.

I managed to get home at around 9 P.M. I let myself in and trotted up to my room, preparing for bed. When I finally did get into bed, I had an extremely difficult time actually going to sleep; knowing that somebody is watching your dreams makes it difficult to fall asleep. I finally did, and for the first time since I've been in Equestria, I dreamed.

Chapter Seven: Showdown With Trixie

Chapter Seven: Showdown With Trixie

Section II: Fear Me

It’s been around four days at this point and I still haven’t seen Trixie. Asking around Ponyville only brought up hatred when I mention the name of Trixie. I figured I’d just laze about on the outskirts of town where I first met her and wait for her there. Instead, I just saw many separate colored ponies. I guess I must’ve dazed off because I was awoken by an orange pony with a cowboy type hat on.

“Wuzzat?” I asked, groggily. I must’ve been sleeping for about five hours because it looked a little past noon.

“Howdy there, red fella’. Was just makin’ sure ya were still alive”. She tipped her hat with courtesy and said “I’m Applejack.” She pointed her hoof, covered with dirt and rather rough looking, at me and asked “What’s yours?” I didn’t know what to say since I couldn’t remember my name, so I just said that my name was Earth. While Applejack talked to me, my mind was more absorbed in the fact of what I had forgotten.

Perhaps it was just under the stress of the moment that had made me forget things, considering there was a giant, cute looking pony standing on top of me at that moment. Wait, did I just say cute?! I thought, my mind racing quickly.

Feeling a little light headed, I laid down. Applejack had apparently not noticed, as she kept talking about the summer harvest. Applebloom bounded up to her and said “Come on Applejack, we gotta’ sell them apples!” Applejack looked at her sister and nodded cheerfully “Alrighty sis, was just talking to this stallion I thought was dead.” Applebloom looked past her sister and said “Howdy mister! I met you yesterday!”

How could I forget?

“Would you be so kind as to buy some apples?” the cheerful filly asked. I shrugged and paid the filly five bits for an apple. Applejack smiled lightly and said, “Red feller, you’re going to need a shower or something…your coat is kinda matted. Plus…uh…well let’s just say ya don’t smell the best.” I blushed, embarrassed. That was really brutally Honest of her to say that. They trotted off and a familiar voice spoke from behind.

“My my, how you've changed!” I turned to face Trixie, and she tossed a disdainful look towards me. “What is it you would like?”

“I’d like you know why you brought me here.”

“Hah! You think the Great and Powerful Trixie would tell you?”

“Why, yes. I don’t think so, either. I know so.”

“Haha! What makes you ‘knoooOW’-“ she began, before I pinned her against a nearby tree. She smiled smugly at me and teleported behind me, knocking me on my back. She then sat on top of my back and grinned. “Did you honestly think you could stand a chance against the Great and Powerful Trixie?” She drew her face close to mine and arrogantly whispered “Well…you can’t!” She drew up and got off of me. She looked at me one more time before she teleported away. In a flash of magnificent purple and yellow, she was gone.
She dropped something, though.

A green book. I went over to observe it and found out the book was named Pony Transformation Guides: The Complete Edition. I picked up the book and headed back to the Café. When I arrived, I was met with a smile from Pinkie. I trotted up the stairs to my room and cracked open the book. I initially thought I needed to be a unicorned pony to use the spell, until I figured out I could use many herbs and spices. “Pinkie?” I called downstairs.

“What?” she answered back.

“I’m going to need you to make a brew.”

Author's Note

Originally, Applejack was to have thought that the main character was dead, to showcase her Element of Harmony, Honesty. She was going to repeatedly say how she thought the main character was dead. Thinking of how poor of a choice that would seem, and how stupid that would make Applejack look, I decided to make her a little more brutally Honest than anything.

Chapter Eight: Lover's Forest

So, Pinkie and I went into the EverFree Forest, and we managed to find three blue mushrooms, four red mushrooms, and some kind of frog that looked like an orange in under three hours. We were trotting along to the exit when Pinkie suddenly rubbed up against me. “You know”, she started, “I think you’re kinda cute.” I instantly remembered my encounter with Luna and how awkward that almost got. “Ah…That’s very nice of you to say, Pinkie.” I looked at her and she looked at me. “Y-You’re kind of cute too.” I nervously stammered. I hoped it wouldn't go any further than that, as I was pretty horrible when it came to talking with girls. “That’s nice of YOU to say…err…”

“Earth.”

“Oh! That’s your name! You know, I’m an Earth Pony! In a way…” she got even closer to me and seductively said, “…we’re practically MADE for each other!” I was suddenly overcome with the strongest desire to vomit everywhere, and I did so after excusing myself. When I got back on the trail, Pinkie was lying in a very…suggestive manner with her hind end shaking everywhere. “Oh no, Earth, I seemed to have dropped the ingredients everywhere…” I clearly noticed the mushroom placed directly below her crotch. “Could you pick up any mushrooms you find?” I facehoofed and didn't entirely know what to do. I’m a human. My body? Not so much. But my SOUL, my SOUL is human!

But the Demon on the other side said Oh come on bud. This is your chance! Nail her! Pin her to the ground!

The Angel resumed his side Don’t do it! This isn't morally acceptable! You’ll regret this!

Trembling, I reached for the mushroom below her. She instantly sat down when my hoof was underneath her, and I could feel the moist warmth. “EeeeAWAWWHAH!” I screamed, quickly withdrawing my hoof. It was still damp. She rolled on her back and then spread her hind hooves apart. “Oh, sweet Celestia, what in the hell is going on?!” I demanded, covering my eyes. “Pinkie, Mrs. Cake would KILL me if I did anything with you!” Suddenly I could feel a hoof on my lower body. No I thought No. You can resist! You CAN’T resist! Come on, Earth, you…CAN…resist!

All the struggling was inevitable, as I felt the familiar rising feeling again.

I decided to quickly NOPE the hell out of there, but I could still hear Pinkie Pie behind me. When I glanced back, I saw her hopping towards me, and she was hopping faster than I could run. I looked ahead of me again and began to both laugh and cry at my predicament. The laughter was because of the crazy pink pony behind me while the crying was because I had the feeling I wasn't going to escape. She finally managed to tackle me and pin me against the forest ground. Here goes my pony virginity…maybe it’ll be good? As I stared into Pinkie’s massive blue eyes, my heart rate slowed and I became calmer. I smiled at her, and she smiled back. “I’m uh…new at this pony love…so uh, don’t judge me too harshly, eh?” I told Pinkie Pie. She nodded and quietly said “I know. Me too.” She then looked at me with those massive blue eyes and I apologized for trying to run. I didn't realize how much I had hurt her feelings until I saw her eyes. She nodded slowly and then I drew her head close to mine, rubbing our muzzles together. I felt the rising feeling again, and it bumped into something moist. Pinkie Pie was visibly embarrassed, but when she saw that I was too, she calmed down and asked “Are you ready?” I nodded, not knowing how this experience would be. She thrust down and engulfed my shaft whole. “Hurk!” I said, more in amazement than pain; Pinkie Pie was incredibly tight. Pinkie Pie bounced up and down, sighing lightly with pleasure. I put my hooves around her hips and gently pushed down and pulled up in rhythm with her movement. I flipped her over and put her on her back. My mind quickly flashed back to Rainbow Dash that day. I suddenly realized that I had a minor erection at that moment too. I was surprised that nopony else saw it. No wonder…I thought I saw ponies in similar positions to ours. The only difference was… my thoughts trailed off as I re-focused on thrusting back and forth. Pinkie placed her hooves around my shoulders and brought me close for a passionate kiss. I realized that I couldn't keep it held for much longer, and told Pinkie of the coming storm. She nodded in reply but couldn't actually say anything, her eyes watering with pleasure and her tongue hanging out. I pulled out and sprayed cum all over the trees, wildlife, bushes, and generally over Pinkie Pie herself. I sat down, exhausted. That…wasn't terribly bad. It could’ve been better… Pinkie Pie drew up beside me and slurped up the last few drops, before placing her head on my lap. “That was fun!” she said. “We should have a whole party dedicated just for sex! OOOOOOOHMIGOSH. THAT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA! Don’t you think so, Earth? Huh? Doya Doya Doya!?” I smiled and nodded weakly in reply. I was amazed to see how quickly Pinkie Pie returned to her natural partying state. We left the EverFree Forest, and continued back to the Café to make Pinkie’s Brew.

I informed Pinkie that I needed it to be exact and that I wouldn't need her help. She gave me a long kiss and winked before trotting upstairs to her room. Now that I had the ingredients, I could finally give myself wings, horns, or even…both? I thought about that deeply. Twilight Sparkle has wings and a horn. Maybe… I looked at the Transformation Book once again. I had all the ingredients I needed to make myself a Unicorn, and from there either stay a unicorn, change into an Earth Pony again, or do some risky business to attempt to turn into a pegasi. But there was no ingredient for an Alicorn. I figured I’d ask Twilight how she became an Alicorn tomorrow, but for the time being, I gave myself a horn. I had now become a Unicorn, capable of the same magic Trixie was using. “It’s time for a little payback” I said, gleefully. I proceeded up the stairs and went to bed.

Author's Note

This was the first time I wrote anything sex related. Ever. Hence, this is why Earth says "This is my first time.", as it is meant to reflect both my own personal writing

Chapter Nine: Let's Learn Some Magic

When I woke up, the sun shone brightly in my eyes. I was ready. I trotted down the steps and blew a kiss to Pinkie Pie before walking to the backyard of the Café. I set up some broken bottles for shooting practice. I had no idea how volatile this magic stuff was, so I made sure to set it up away from the street. Hopefully a stray bolt didn't hit Applejacks barn. How hard could this be? I thought, lowering my body and raising a hoof. “This’ll be easy”. I then waited, and realized I had no idea how to activate the magic powers of a unicorn. I was thinking that all I had to do was just think really hard and something “magical” would happen.

Eventually I figured that maybe it was something like Spiderman and tried different poses to fire off a bolt of magic. I lowered my head and then thrust it forward, emitting a small spark. “Ah hah!” I cried aloud. “That’s how that works!” I did the same action and thrust it harder forward. A larger spark emitted. I thrusted forward as hard as I could. A huge spark emitted and managed to reach all five bottles, evaporating them all. I realized then that I knew only how to use Spark magic.

I figured I’d have an easier time asking Twilight Sparkle or even Marshmallow how to use magic, considering they both had horns. Debating my options, I chose to go to Twilight. She seemed to be more knowledgeable and adept at Magic than Marshmallow. While on the way there, I saw Rainbow Dash crash into the Tree House. Worried for her safety I picked up the pace and barged into the Library without even knocking. I climbed up the ladder, only to see Twilight Sparkle frowning while Rainbow Dash speedily tried to patch up the window she had crashed into. I said hi to Twilight and when Rainbow Dash made eye contact with me I instantly looked down, remembering what I had learned the day before. Acting as if Rainbow Dash wasn't there, I asked Twilight how to perform specific spells. When she asked what I wished to learn, I instead opted for a book. I figured that the realm of magic could be explained in much more detail in a book than what Twilight could tell me. I entered the Café and greeted Mrs. Cake. We made small talk, mostly about how I was liking it here in Ponyville and my upcoming job. I said goodnight to her, and then suddenly was curious why she didn't ask about my horn. Pinkie didn't react, either… and I thought that especially odd because I never told her why we were gathering ingredients. In fact, nopony I saw today reacted to my horn. Perhaps everyone else was just busy, or something. I opened the spell book and read a little bit. I opened my window and practiced shooting some bolts at the bottles. One shot missed terribly and I saw a fire break out in the horizon. With my mouth wide open, I quickly shut my window and went to bed.

Chapter Ten: Battle With The Great and Powerful Trixie

When I woke up, I trotted down the steps as usual and said hi to Mrs. Cake before venturing out to find Trixie. Trixie herself didn't seem too adept at using magic, but she was dangerous with the Teleportation spell. I climbed a small hill and saw before me a vast grass plain. I felt myself smiling in awe at the beauty of the sunrise, and cantered down the hill, going to the spot where I first met Trixie, which I have decidedly decided to name “The Crossroads”, as the path splits into three different routes; Applejacks farm, Ponyville, and to the countryside. I waited there, practicing magic, when I finally heard her voice. I was ready.

I turned to face her, my horn sparkling with magic. When she saw how aggressive I was acting, she seemed to be scared as she lowered herself a little bit.

“Alright…I’m not gonna ask you again, why did you bring me here?!” I demanded. She teleported behind me and again swept me off my feet. I fired a bolt that I presumed nicked her in her left hoof as she cried in pain. I pounced on top of her, but she managed to push me off, and we began to fire bolts at each other. She teleported and I jumped, anticipating her leg sweep. Using my hind legs, I bucked her straight in her face, sending her flying. I ran over to her and stood over her. “Right…So now will you tell me?” I asked, hearing her breath rapidly. She began to lift her right hoof so I pinned it down, and then just to be sure, pinned all her other hooves down with my own, literally standing on top of her. “I've had enough of your games. I had to…have sex with a pony! But my spirit is still a human!” I attempted to sound disgusted with myself, when in truth I wasn't.

Somehow, she knew I was acting because she smirked and said “Really? The Great and Powerful Trixie detects that you enjoyed it.” I felt myself blushing and began to emit sparks from my horn. Trixie smiled evilly when she saw this and began to spark her horn as well, thrusting her horn towards mine. The reaction was large enough that it sent me back flying ten feet. My vision was blurry, but I could see Trixie walking calmly up to me; she had somehow managed to stay completely unscathed by the explosion. She put her muzzle close to mine and said, quietly and sadly, “Soon. You’ll find out soon.” With a zap of purple and blue, she was gone.

As I walked back to town, I saw dozens of ponies running in the other direction, where I had come from. They must’ve been going there to see what the commotion was all about. I still hadn't figured out why I was brought here, and the only noteworthy thing I was able to do was to bang a pink pony. There was nothing to do for the last three hours of daylight so I instead went back to the Café into my room to just think.

I began to think about my old home planet…what was it? I struggled to remember. I looked at my cutie mark. “…E..Earth.” I said aloud. How could I forget? My new name is Earth, the same place where I came from. I couldn't forget. I hoped I never forgot that. I’m a human in a pony’s world. I can never forget that. I would never forget my name, but what if I forgot the significance? Did I actually have a family? Did I live in solitude? Do I actually want to stay here for the rest of my life? I thought about that question very hard. Life here is so much better than Earth. Everypony is nice…But, my speech patterns have changed since I've been here. It made me upset that I was forgetting everything about my past life, and that I had not bothered to write anything down. I covered my head with my front hooves and closed my eyes. I tapped my head with my hooves and began to chant “Remember”. I did that for half an hour, before sitting up straight. “My name is Earth. I come from pl-planet…Earth…? Don’t ever forget…” I hoped I drilled it into my mind successfully, because I suddenly had the feeling dangerous things were about to happen.

Chapter Eleven: What Fun Is There In Making Sense?

Chapter Eleven: What Fun Is There In Making Sense?

I woke up, with the whole house on fire around me. Outside my windows, I heard ponies screaming and some maniacal laughing. I threw the covers off of me and rushed downstairs to see Pinkie Pie frantically bouncing around the kitchen. She, along with Mr. and Mrs. Cake, were unsuccessfully trying to extinguish the flames. Once Pinkie saw me, she threw her arms around me, glad that I was ok. I suggested that we leave the now collapsing bakery, and we all did so. As we burst out of the front door, some sort of green energy pulled the other three ponies back while I hit the ground. I looked around and saw the green light burst out of the roof of the Café and pull in countless other ponies. Even against the black, moonless night, I could still note that there had to be millions being pulled in.

They weren't just from Ponyville, either. In fact, I believe I had seen some Zebras and Buffalo's of some sort pulled in as well. I didn't know what to do, so I simply hid in a nearby trashcan. After that was all said and done, a massive yellow light literally exploded out from the Café and some sort of weird snake creature arose from the rubble. He spread out his arms, and began to laugh manically, before doing a little twirl. He flicked his arm towards Canterlot and suddenly there was Princess Celestia. She was struggling to escape.

“Now, Princess, you will understand my hatred for ponies.” The snake creature smiled. “Once you and your pathetic subjects stay imprisoned in stone for a millennia, then you will understand my pain.” He laughed, but this time more evilly. Celestia was about to retort, but he flicked his wrist and suddenly she was gone. He twirled around, and clapped his hands.

A million stone statues began to fall from the sky, but instead of impacting the ground, they bounced around. The snake creature laughed and it began to rain some kind of chocolate. He snapped his fingers and suddenly the rubble that was fifty feet away from me was turned into a small hill and had its own throne on top. The creature took his place at the throne, and he shut his eyes.

Suddenly, the trashcan around me vaporized and apparently turned into a book, as he held one in his hands. I moved into the shadows, glaring at this new menace. He turned in my direction and stared at me with his piercing, crimson eyes. He raised his hand and literally pulled the darkness I was hiding in away. He grimly smiled, twitching his left eyelid. I was suddenly in his lap, as he stroked my head delicately. I pushed him away from me and lowered my head at him, ready to fire a bolt at him. He stood up, and I realized he was extremely taller than me…at least four or five more feet so. I backed up instinctively and asked “Wh-What have you done to the ponies?”
He cocked his head sideways and asked “What do you care? You obviously aren't a pony…”

Somehow, this beast had discovered my true origins. Somehow, he-

“…Is what I would've been saying if you weren't a pony.” He sighed expressively and then gladly said, “But a pony you are! So for ponies, you must care! You see…” he suddenly pulled out a large blue globe from his hip, “All of the ponies are trapped in this little sphere-o-machine here!” He shoved my head towards it, saying “Look! You can even see my dear friends, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Flut…Fluttershy…” He gulped. “Look, friend. You must quickly flee. I may seem all happy and fun now, but I have dreadful demons inside me…if he realizes you’re here, then that spells trouble for all!” He said this all while transporting the both of us around town and making weird gestures with his hands. I did notice his tone and mood changed.

He teleported us away from town, probably to ensure that whatever he was warning me about wouldn’t find me. “What happens to the ponies? They need to be set free!” The snake creature doubled over at this remark, clutching his stomach. He shoved me away and his eyes changed from crimson to pitch black. He reared up and spread his arms, laughing manically. I lowered my body, ready to defend myself. “Honestly child, do you think you can stand up against the GOD OF CHAOS?!” he roared, lightning setting off behind him. I didn’t reply, simply charging my horn. He lifted up his right arm, preparing to smack me away when I fired a bolt at him. It simply bounced off him. “Hah, FOOL! The only thing that can defeat me are the Elements of Harmony! And considering the ‘Mane Six’ are currently turned to stone, you have NO hope of beating ME!” He picked me up and hurled me at the remains of Ponyville. I crashed through a building, struggling to stay conscious.

I…just…might die on this one…

I looked around and laughed bitterly. So…I don’t die in my own world…I die here, on a foreign world…full of talking ponies! My eye caught something; no more than ten feet away from me I saw the sphere-o-machine the creature spoke of lying discarded in a heap of rubble. He was getting closer. With my vision being incredibly blurry, and my energy faltering, I attempted to concentrate on the sphere. The Creature was within ten feet. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. I fired a bolt.

He swatted my bolt out of the air, directing it towards a trash can lid. It ricocheted off of it and hit the sphere. He picked me up by the throat and through his glossy black eyes I could see hell itself. A large CRACK sounded off and a bright light enveloped everything. Suddenly there was a crowd of ponies standing around me and the Creature. The Creature gripped tighter. My vision was fading. Darkness enveloped the corners of my eyes. The ponies around us tried their best distract him, but once I looked into the Creature’s eyes again I saw that he wanted me to die. I gasped for air as he choked me even more. I took one final breath and held it.

I’m going to die.

I heard faint shouts. The only word I could make out was “Discord”. I looked into his piercing eyes for perhaps the last time. I thought he looked familiar…

A Few Days Later...

I woke up, surprisingly, in a hospital bed. A nurse was tending to me. “Wha- How the hell am I still alive?” I asked her.

“Woah. Easy there. You've been out for a few days.” She put a hoof over some complicated machinery. “Well…you’re pulse seems alright.”

I rubbed my head, still feeling as if I was being strangled to death. “What happened after I passed out?”

“Discord was cured of that parasite that affected him. I guess it only effects Draconequus’…” her voice trailed off, and she glanced at me while fiddling with some medical equipment. “You did it. You cured him somehow.”

I laughed.

“Yeah? While I was being strangled to death? Like I could do-”

The nurse was suddenly beside me, sternly staring at me. “Look. Nopony knows what you did. He released you and suddenly began babbling about how sorry he was. He said he saw something in your eyes. You literally scared the thing out of him.” I withdrew myself a little into the covers.

What could I have done?

She went to a nearby curtain, and said “Well…I guess I’ll go tell them the good news.” She pulled back the curtain to reveal most, or if not, all of Ponyville standing there, cheering.

Chapter Twelve: The Great Cougar Princess, Celestia

Chapter Twelve: The Great Cougar Princess, Celestia

The next day, after I could fully recover, the ponies decided to celebrate me for saving them, and even named the day “Earth Day” after me. I wasn't much to gloat, so I instead just shyly smiled at everypony as they thanked me for saving them. Mayor Mare, as she had the misfortune of being named, gave me a “Key to the City”. Taking a quick glance into the room she retrieved it from revealed many other identical “Key’s to the City”, making me think that everyone in this town regularly did good deeds. I went over to the lunch table and started chowing down when suddenly everything went quiet. I heard stallions shushing fillies, and the sound of metal clanging against the dirt roads of Ponyville. A regal trumpet sounded, and I didn't even need to turn around to know who it was. “Sunbutt…” I said, quietly to myself. I turned around, my mouth still full of food, and found Princess Celestia no more than five feet away from me. “Gut afphternoon Thunbu…I mern, Prinfess Ferestia.” I said, completely forgetting my sense of manners.

I swallowed quickly and then saved myself by saying, “Ah. I beg your pardon. Good afternoon Princess Celestia.” I bowed lightly, “What brings you to Ponyville?” I looked up and saw her looking down at me with stern eyes. “You do, Earth. We need to talk.” Using one of her massive wings, she motioned towards her royal carriage. When I got on, I cheerfully waved to the citizens of Ponyville. Most of them seemed disappointed I was leaving. I turned to face Celestia. In the fan-fictions, she always knew exactly what was going on, so I asked her “How long have you known?” A bit surprised by my question, she turned to look at me and raised a hoof.

“How long have I known what?”

“That I’m…err...that the parasite was going to infect Discord…?” I said, figuring out that she actually didn't know I wasn't from this world, at least not yet. However, my replacement question wasn't the best thing to ask either, as she narrowed her eyes and said that there was no possible way of knowing that. The tone in her voice seemed to hint if I made another remark like that I’d be going over the side of the carriage.

“Regardless, I believe you came to Canterlot about five days ago.” She spoke matter-of-factly.

I replied, “Yeah, I did. I talked with Luna for awhile.” I turned away from Celestia as my face went bright red at the memory

Man…I should’ve nailed the hell outta’ Luna…those gorgeous eyes and that shapely bod-No. No. Not now. Don’t get an erection in front of the Princess.

I looked down to make sure nothing was happening while the Princess spoke of useless facts.

It was happening.

I brought my hooves forward a little closer to my body and slouched a little more. “Are you sick?” Princess Celestia asked me, alarmed.
“No, no! Don’t worry! I just like being as low to the groin…err…I mean ground as possible!” I stammered.

“Look. I need to know how Luna acted when you met her. You were the last person who saw her.” She said, motioning for the guards to fly lower.

“Uh-huh...” I said, staring at my ever growing erection, hoping the Princess wouldn’t notice.

“What did she say? Did you do anything? How did she act?” The Princess demanded, believing I was still listening.

“Well, she got on top of me…and asked…holy shit can my erection get any bigger?” I said, without thinking.

I looked up, nearly instantly.

The Princess looked at me, alarmed.

One of the Royal Guards pulling the carriage looked back at me.

The Guard sitting next to him winked and mouthed “Nice one.”

For the rest of the ride everyone sat in silence, broken occasionally by Celestia delicately clearing her throat. The Guards let us off at Celestia’s tower, and I noticed how it compared to Luna’s in direct contrast. Instead of being dark and gloomy, it was sun-filled. The whole room appeared to glow white, and the stained glass contained many vibrant colors, apparently showing important Equestrian history. While walking through the halls, I noted a seemingly new mural of a six ponies being united by some sort of magic. They seemed to be the ones I had talked with earlier, as I noted Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. We walked into Celestia’s throne room, and she turned around quickly and asked if I liked bananas. I politely said no, but she kept staring at me, her iris’ slowly shrinking. She walked away, saying she’d be right back.

She came back with a brown bag full of bananas, and I realized how unladylike the Princess was when in private, as I watched her devour the whole bag within five minutes. Feeling awkward sitting there, I piped up, asking what I had been brought here for. She asked me about Luna again, with her mouth full. I told her that, “She got on top of me, noted that I didn't have a cutie mark, and that I didn't dream. She essentially accused me of being a Changeling.” Celestia absorbed this information, and trotted to a nearby window pane.

Celestia has such a huge as-NOPE. I don’t want to run out of Canterlot twice. Just…think about something else.

I looked towards a mural and saw Pinkie Pie. That only helped it to progress as I suddenly had flashbacks to that day in the forest. “Err…if you will excuse me, Princess. I need to get going.” I said, nervously. Celestia turned around to face me and was about to say something when she saw my erection.

“Uh…That’d be best. If you did that. I think I have enough…uh…info. Thank you, Earth.” She said, feigning an attempt at covering her eyes. I don’t know why, but she was secretly eyeing me through her hair. Knowing that fact made me more ballsy than usual, and I almost said something, but decided against it. One pony is enough…One pony is enough…One PONY IS ENOUGH…ONE…

My mind snapped and I couldn't take the stress any longer. I turned around to face Celestia who had adopted a face I could only say was a mixture between pompousness and “come get some”. I sprinted as fast as I could towards her and tackled her to the ground. I wasted no time.

A Royal Guard peeked in and I immediately heard the sounds of vomiting, followed by hushed whispers and more sounds of vomiting. “Oh, Mother of me and all that’s holy! Mother of me and all that’s holy!!” Celestia kept chanting “Sweet me, this is so Gooooooooooood! It’s been so long!” Unfortunately, her large wings kept slapping me in the face, so this was all but annoying for me. She remedied this by wrapping her silky tail around my body and just pulling me back and forth this way, freeing up my frontal hooves for keeping her wings out of the way. I couldn't believe it; Celestia was tighter than Pinkie Pie. A second wave of vomiting was sounded, and at this point I just thought; Fuck them all.

We finished up after I heard vomiting for the tenth time. This was about an hour long, three times as long as with Pinkie. I don’t know if Celestia used her magic to prolong it, or I used my own magic, but it was incredible. I laid with Celestia for a while, stroking her mane and rubbing against her muzzle when I heard the vomiting for the eleventh time. I staggered away from Celestia, and burst open the door to be greeted by a tidal wave of vomit and the sight of eleven guards, a twelfth one just arriving. The sight of the Princess covered in cum was enough to send him over the edge. Anything quirky I was going to say just immediately vanished as I myself vomited. After cleaning myself up, I thanked Celestia for her hospitality and wished her well in her finding her sister. She said she may require my services another time, but “…certainly not for sex.” I could care less.

I just got to fuck Royalty.

Chapter Thirteen: A Task For A Marshmallow

Section III: Life In Ponyville

I woke up the next day and greeted Pinkie Pie with a morning breakfast. Today was also the day I began work. It was hard to believe a solid week had passed since I first came here, and so much has happened. At the end of my shift, I kissed Pinkie goodbye and trotted on over to the Boutique. I was curious to see if Rarity had produced any suitable clothing for stallions. When I got there, Applejack stormed out, saying “Are ya’ kiddin’ me? Calls me a “no-good workhorse!” I’ll git her back…” I jumped in front of AJ and tried to see what the problem was. She simply huffed and said “Hey there, red feller. Just a little argument with ole’ Rarity back there.” She motioned with her hoof, “Happens all the time. Why, I’ll bet we’ll be friends again in a few hours!” she smiled at the prospect and trotted to her apple stand.

I went inside to speak to Rarity. When I went inside, I saw that small purple dragon. “Hi there.” I greeted.

“What do you want?” the dragon asked.

“I don’t think you ever told me your name. What is it?” I asked.

He told me, perhaps for the second time, it was Spike. I greeted him and asked where Rarity went. He suddenly got very defensive and said “Why? Why do you wanna know where Rarity is? Huh? HUH?!” he said, getting up in my face. I pushed him aside with a hoof and told him that I just wanted to see her inventory. He raised an eyebrow, then called for Rarity, who came out of one of the back rooms along with Sweetie Belle.

“Hello, Earth. What can we help you with?” Rarity asked me. I asked her if she had any new inventory for stallions. She thought about it and then said “Aha! I do have one shipment for stallions! But…” she fumbled around with a nearby hat. “I’m afraid I’m dreadfully too busy to take care of it at the moment.”

She looked down. Spike was about to say something when I broke in and said “I’d be happy to get the shipment for you, Rarity.” Her eyes widened, while Spike fumed at the mouth.

Sweetie Belle jumped in front of her older sister and asked “Ooh! Can I go to, Rarity? Pleeeeease? Maybe I’ll get a cutie mark! Like, a helpers cutie mark or something!” Rarity thought about it, and told Sweetie Belle she could tag along. Spike also volunteered to come. With that, we three left the Boutique, heading off for Appleoosa.

We took a train, but unfortunately it was announced the railroad directly to Appleoosa was under heavy repairs. We departed at the closest station there and prepared for about a thirty mile hike to Appleoosa. It was pretty uneventful, and once we hit the fifteen mile mark we decided to call it quits and set up camp. I felt as if I had a duty to protect the two young ones, so I offered to sleep outside while they slept in the tent. Spike and Sweetie eyed each other mischievously and agreed. For a few minutes I heard pure shenanigans going on in there as they told “spooky” stories and gossiped. They gradually kept getting quieter and quieter, until I could only hear a harsh, blowing sound. I closed my eyes, essentially asleep, when I heard a grunt. And then a moan.

Oh sweet Celestia, why now?

I covered my ears as the tent shook with a heavy force. Sweetie Belle’s soft moans echoed throughout the valley, which may have been pleasing to some of the other weirdo’s we passed by earlier, but was just thoroughly annoying me. Scowling at my idiotic decision to allow them both to sleep in the same tent, the only thing I could do was just cover my ears and grind my teeth in slight anger. I heard a few, final, strong thrusts and grunts before I finally had enough and yelled, “OH FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE!” Silence ensued, but I soon after heard slapping sounds, what sounded like licking, and then nothing.

“Thank GOD that ordeal is over” I whispered to myself, grimly smiling. I focused back on the fire, tending to it. It was rather cold outside, so I put all effort into making sure the fire stayed bright and warm. Noticing I had run out of kindling, I rummaged around in the bag to see if I could find anything. I felt paper, so I grabbed it and tossed it in the fire, not thinking to look what it was. As the paper burned, I looked at it more closely. I could make out small little lines and green and blue splotches. Further staring revealed to me it was the map I threw into the fire.

“Oh, NO!” I yelled silently.

I struggled to reach around in the fire to grab it, but found the heat too intense for me. As the map burned into a crisp, I glumly sat down.
Tomorrow is going to be a great day…

Chapter Fourteen: Wild, Wild Appleoosa

Chapter Fourteen: Wild, Wild Appleoosa

A bit disheartened by last night’s events, I woke Spike and Sweetie Belle up, who were sleeping, rather peacefully, away from each other.

“WAAAAAAKE UPPP!” I yelled, startling them.

We packed up the tent and began hiking the last fifteen miles, with not much happening. About three hours later, we reached Appleoosa, and I noticed how different it was from Ponyville. This town looked severely similar to the old “Wild West” towns we had back on…Earth. It even had its own saloon, with a rather scantily clad…

Oh no, I thought.

I scooted Sweetie Belle and Spike in front of me as I shielded their unknowing eyes to the hooker behind me. I awkwardly shuffled them forward while they demanded to know what was going on. Once we were passed her, I asked Sweetie Belle if we knew where we were going. She smiled cheerfully and said, “Yup! Where’s the map?” She reached around in the bag, only to draw up nothing. She turned to me, then shrugged.

“I guess we forgot to pack it!” I said, nervously. I told them not to get into any trouble while I checked out the saloon.

Everypony here looked mean, to say the least. When I entered I could feel about three dozen sets of eyes look at me, and the whole room became silent. I waved, and then asked, “Anypony know where I can find a shipment for Mar- Rarity?”

The three dozen sets of eyes trailed off and resumed what they were doing before. A rather husky stallion stepped forward and greeted me. “Eeyup. We got a shipment fur a Mizz Rarity.” He spit at the floor before continuing “Ya got the payment?” I nodded and called for Sweetie Belle quickly. I looked at the prostitute and quickly pushed her over the railing as Sweetie Belle approached. I asked for the payment and she gave it to me. I handed it to the stallion. The stallion gave me something in return; A hoof to the face, and as I staggered in pain I saw him abduct Sweetie Belle and Spike.

“No!” I yelled, cantering after them. I deftly dodged obstructions and ponies, and dove to him. I just about had him-

When three burly ponies stopped my advance. I slammed against another hoof, feeling blood coming out of my nose. I saw the four gallop off into the distance, and there was nothing I could do. I felt my horn spark as my anger grew. I suddenly found myself right in front of the abductor. He screeched to a stop and looked at me wide-eyed. Not wasting any time, I fired off a large spark at him, and it completely vaporized him. The dust blew away and I eyed his three cohorts, who had just arrived.

“If you ever, EVER, fuck with me again, I’ll make sure you…” I began, suddenly losing my intense rage, “Y-You…fucking die! Got it!?” They nodded, scared, and cantered back towards Appleoosa. I nudged Spike and Sweetie Belle to see if they were fine. They were. After about an hour of questioning the town, we found there was no shipment; whether it was simply a ruse, or a grand scheme to kidnap Rarity, we never found out. The railroad was fixed back up by the time we were finished in Appleoosa. I looked at the town as we left the station, and decided I thoroughly hated it.

Chapter Fifteen: Rarity and Applejack, Ever Feuding Sisters!

When we arrived back in Ponyville, Rarity was there waiting for us. She was initially disappointed to see we didn't bring back any clothes, but once Sweetie Belle told her the story, she was ecstatic. She hugged me tensely, and I noticed Spike blush in jealousy. Once Sweetie Belle and Rarity walked away, Spike spoke “Just what are you trying to do with my Rarity?”

I smiled, not looking at him. “Nothing. Just what are you doing with her little sister, though?” I said, slowly turning my head towards him as I spoke.

"Wh-What? Nothing..." he said, giving me an odd look.

I chuckled, turning my head away from him, “Ok, if that’s what you say.” I departed, leaving Spike standing confused at the train station.

I trotted to Applejacks apple stand, intent on buying some apples. I saw Rarity and Applejack arguing, and Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were standing some distance away, cowering. “Ah…AJ, why ya gotta fight with Rarity all the time?” Applebloom asked. “Ya’ll scaring me…”

Sweetie Belle suddenly stood up and looked defiant “Well, if your big sister was a little bit more smart, we wouldn't be having this problem!” Applebloom, both offended and surprised by the outburst of her friend and stood up, saying

“If mah big sister was a bit more smart? Sweetie Belle, how could ya say such a thang?”

“I’m calling your sister stupid, Applebloom.”

“Wuh…Why?”

“Because she is.”

“Well, YOUR sister is too much of a vain know-it-all!”

“My, my, Applebloom, "vain"? That's a big word for a pony as dumb as yourself!”

“D-…Dumb as myself!? What in tarnation’s that supposed to mean you brat?”

“Oh, come on! You’re dumb! Your entire family is du-“

Applebloom suddenly threw a punch that hit Sweetie Belle right in her mouth.

Realizing I should’ve intervened sooner, I cantered over and split them apart. Using a spell, I made a sort of barrier between them. I calmly walked over to Applejack and Rarity. I grasped both of their heads and turned them over to Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, who had broken my spell and had begun to fight again. Gasping at the violence, they both rushed over to split them apart. I pulled them both aside after they were done and scolded them. “Do you see what you two are doing to your sisters? You’re making them think Fighting is Magic! It isn't! Friendship is!” Applejack and Rarity both looked down, but Applejack spoke up first.

“Well, we only fight for ah little bit. Then we always become friends later.” I shook my head, saying “You shouldn't fight at all. Maybe it’d be alright to make scowls at each other and disagree with each other, but calling each other names and just making plain rude remarks isn't at all necessary!”

They both seemed hesitant to say anything, but they finally forgave each other. I smiled, and thanked them both for understanding. “You know, deary, I've been meaning to show you something at my Boutique, considering you saved Sweetie Belle from those dreadful bandits.” She dragged me in her direction.

“Actually, I need this red fella’s help back at the barn.” She dragged me in the other direction.

“Well, really, Applejack, sweetie, I think we need him more.” Rarity tugged harder.

“No…I think I need him more, ‘sweetheart’” Applejack pulled harder.

“No, really, deary….Earth, who do you think needs you more?” Rarity asked, pulling out a tactic similar to puppy eyes. Applejack, seeing her rival, did the same tactic “Tell ya what, red fella, I’ll make it worth yer while!” She winked. Rarity looked visibly disgusted.

“Haha! Well…I’ll make it worth DOUBLE ‘yer’ while, Earth!” Rarity offered.

Two ponies was enough. That’s where I cross the line. Two. No more. Not three.

I tried to break out of their grip but was firmly stuck between them. I only wondered what the citizens of Ponyville thought as they trotted by. By the time I rejoined the conversation, Applejack had offered to let me toss her salad. I nearly vomited at that remark, so I forced myself to think of that afternoon with Celestia. Remembering the guards made me laugh hysterically, and I couldn't hold back my vomiting. Sweetie Belle was unfortunately standing right in front of me and caught it all with her face. The two feuding sisters apparently didn't notice as Sweetie Belle sobbed uncontrollably. Suddenly, they stopped speaking and they both began to drag me in one direction. I guess I hadn't heard them because I was laughing at Sweetie Belle’s overall shitty day. Sweetie Belle then cantered up to me, bucked my groin, and ran away.

Sometime Later...

I’m pretty sure I passed out, because the next thing I knew, I was lying in the dark, in what felt like a bay of hay. I struggled to move but realized I was tied up. I heard a door open and for a brief few seconds, light filled the room. In a matter of three seconds, it was dark again, and I heard light shuffling. I guess Applejack won the tug-of-war. Windows were opened and light filled the room once more. I saw Rarity trot on over, with a look of smugness. “Welcome back to the world of the Awoken.” She said. Realizing the stupidity of what she just said, she covered her face with her hoof and blushed. “Err…Applejack, dear, I’m dreadfully awful at this kind of situation. Applejack came up behind Rarity and patted her on her rear. “Don’t cha worry, Rarity, everything will work out in the end.” Both of the ponies looked at me, and I had a terrible feeling on where this was going. “Right. So, considering me and Applejack couldn't settle our differences, we decided we’d share you.” Rarity casually said, twirling her hair.

“Ok. Rarity, I can understand why you would want to do this. I saved your little sisters life. But, AJ? What did I ever do?” I asked. Applejack shrugged and just said that it’d been awhile since she had a good mate to buck with. If I facehoofed, I would've then. Within a matter of seconds, I had an erection and they both stared at it, unsure of what to do.

“Er…so who goes first? You wanna, Rarity?” Applejack asked her equine friend. Rarity tapped a hoof against her chin, in thought, and said “Oh, sure. Why not?” They both lifted me off the hay bale and lay me directly on my back.

“Do forgive me if I don’t do very well. I don’t do blow jobs very often.” Rarity stated. With one final, hesitant look at me, she opened her mouth and began sucking, while Applejack touched herself in the corner of the barn. Rarity’s warm, soft mouth felt amazing against my shaft, and I laughed mentally and wished Spike could only see this. Rarity stopped and then deviously said “Enough of the foreplay!” Rarity hovered over my erection and before she took a seat she looked at me, and winked. Rarity emitted a loud pitched scream that echoed throughout the barn. Applejack sat up, and walked over to me, getting on top of my face, putting her crotch where my mouth was. I didn't waste any time.

Great…Great this is just great…I wonder how Pinkie’s going to react.

While eating out Applejack, I thought I saw a purple and green flash out of the corner of my eye. I smiled.

So, he is here.

Knowing he was only made me enjoy this twenty percent more. Applejack untied me and I thrust into Rarity three times as hard as I ever did before, causing her to salivate all over the floor. I suddenly saw Apple Bloom peek in and stare for a few moments, before making a disturbed face and then gently closing the door. Once I finished with Rarity, I would've gone for Applejack, but she had apparently passed out for some reason.

Good. I was exhausted anyway… I smiled then fell right next to Rarity. “Wow…That was great, Marshmallow.”

Rarity sat up and said “What did you just call me?”

Oh shit.

The next thing I knew, Rarity’s front hoof was directed straight towards my eye.

Chapter Sixteen: My Name Is Fluttershy!

I ran out of the barn as fast as I could while I heard magic bolts hurled in my direction.

“Well, I screwed up big time.” I said glumly.

I turned behind me to see if Rarity was still in pursuit; she wasn’t. I turned to face the direction I was running and saw a yellow pony, her eyes wide. I couldn’t stop myself in time and ran right into her. She screamed bloody murder, and I thanked Celestia on how lucky I was to still be in the countryside, because nopony heard her. I repeatedly apologized to her, and I recognized her as the mare I spoke to almost a week ago. She whimpered in response. I asked her what her name was “My name is…Fluttershy.” I had actually almost heard her name this time.

“Flutter…Fluttashoo?” I asked her.

“No…No…it’s, um, Fluttershy.”

I figured that if I kept guessing her name wrong, it may just convince her to speak loudly.

“Futtashoo? Flutashloo?”

“No…It’s…Fluttershy.” She spoke a little louder. She began to study something on my face and then gasped. “Oh no! Are you hurt? What hurt you?” I felt around my face, feeling a tinge on my eye.

So Rarity gave me a black eye, eh? Hopefully Spike didn't stick around long enough to see that part.

“Oh, I uh, tripped over a log and hit my eye on a rock.” The yellow mare stared at me, as if asking me if she looked stupid enough to fall for that.

“I meant to say that I…I got a marshmallow stuck in my eye. And it burned my…coat…because…marshmallows burn…You know what, screw it never mind, I got punched”. I told her.

She gasped expressively and said with the softest voice ever “Oh no, I need to get you some medicine right away!” I shrugged and began to follow her, thinking it humorous that she was reacting this much to a simple black eye. I figured we were going back to Ponyville, so I attempted to make small talk. I learned that her name was Fluttershy…and that was all I got to learn as we arrived at her house.

“What, ah, what are we doing here? Is this your house?” I asked her.

She turned back to me and nodded. “I’m going to get the medicine. Just stay right here and try not to move.” She said again, in that soft voice. When she opened the door, a small white rabbit slipped between her hooves. She apparently didn’t notice as she continued inside. I stared at the rabbit as he stared back at me. He furrowed his eyebrows and scowled at me. I did the same back to him. He attempted to push my hoof so I immediately knocked him over, and he tumbled into an adjacent stream.

Uh…

Fluttershy came back out, with a happy look on her face. “Here’s the medicine for you.” I took it and was about to ask her what the catch was. I bit my tongue and simply thanked her for it. We both sat awkwardly while I struggled with the medicine. While I knew basic functions like walking and other things, I still didn't have complete mastery over my hooves. She took it from me, and gently said “Here. Let me get that for you.” Once she applied the ointment, I thanked her and began to walk away. “Um…” I heard her stammer. I turned to face her.

“Yes?”

“Um…I was…wondering…” she began again. I waited for her to say something. “…ah…if you…could…uh…” Figuring she wanted help with something, I nodded my head. “Oh. Good…you see, I needed to go to the EverFree Forest to get some ingredients for dinner tonight.” She went inside her house to grab bags, when I noticed the white rabbit come out of the stream. He was soaked. I couldn't help but laugh, and he just stared at me with disdain. Fluttershy came back out and saw the bunny. “Oh, Angel Bunny! What have I told you about playing in the stream? You could drown!” She dried him off rapidly and placed him in a nearby garden, giving him a carrot. “Now then Angel, you stay nice and dry here, OK?” She came back over to me and I noted her incredible Kindness.

“Let’s get going.” I said.

And with that, we headed off to the EverFree Forest.

Chapter Seventeen: Dazed And Confused

We went deeper into the forest than I had anticipated. When I first came here, Pinkie and I had only gone in the forest a few dozen yards. This time, however, we went so far into the forest the trees completely blocked out the sunlight, with the exception of a few rays here and there. Unnatural fog settled in and I was really hoping we wouldn’t get lost. Fluttershy seemed to know where she was going and what she was doing, so I trusted her. She delicately picked up ingredients for her dinner. I tried to make small talk.

“So…uh, you normally come out here?”

“Not usually. I…I just wanted to try out a new recipe is all…Roasted Mushroom soup!” she stated, unevenly.

“Ah. That sounds delicious.” I said. “Say, do you guys ever eat…meat?” I asked, noting how I haven’t seen anypony eat any version of meat. In fact, the only things I had eaten were a few dozen cupcakes and various salads. Fluttershy stopped in her tracks, and looked back to me.

“Meat?”

“Yeah! You know…it comes from animals?”

She began to withdraw a little bit and began to look disgusted. “You mean…like milk?”

“What? How do you not know what meat is? It comes from animals! You know, like you get beef from cows?” She looked even more disgusted and frightened.

“Y-You…wouldn't have to kill animals…to get ‘meat’…would you?” she quietly asked.

“Well…I mean yeah.”

She leapt ten feet into the air and came crashing down. “Ahhh! What kind of pony eats that kind of stuff?! Why would you… kill…an animal, only to eat them…?! It doesn't seem very…nice…”

I thought about it. On Earth, did the animals actually care? Of course they had feelings, emotions…but what did they feel? We always viewed them as a food source…but what did they view us as? We never even began to think about what they thought…and the ways we slaughtered them, beefed them up just so we could be more pleased…

I snapped out of my thought and said “It isn't. It truly isn't nice.” She smiled softly at me. We continued on with our journey…

Sometime Later...

It was becoming dusk, and fast. I remembered that I hadn't eaten anything before Applejack and Rarity had kidnapped me, and I was regretting it. Fluttershy’s stomach rumbled as well. “Ah…Fluttershy. Would you happen to know the way back?” She glanced back at me and smiled. “Of course.” I figured we were done with picking ingredients, because her bag was filled to the brim. “We just need to stop at Zecora’s to grab the last thing.”

Before I could ask who the hay that was, we arrived at a small hut. “Huh, this looks just like Yoda’s hut.” I thought out loud. Luckily Fluttershy didn't hear me, because I didn’t feel like explaining the entirety of Star Wars to her. She knocked gently on the door and a Zebra stepped out. The Zebra saw me, and exchanged words with Fluttershy. The Zebra went inside and came back out with a vial of red fluid. Fluttershy thanked it, and we continued on our way.

“Who was that?”

“Oh, that? That was Zecora. She’s nice…once you get to know her.”

“What did she give you? Some sort of…spice?”

“Uh…yes…that’s what it was. A spice.”

I took Fluttershy’s odd behavior into account but said nothing. I didn’t have the energy to ask her. Zecora was also nice enough to hand us a lantern so we could light our path. As we trotted along, the lantern suddenly became extinguished. “Oh…don’t worry. Just give me a second to fix it.” She said coolly.

I didn’t understand how she wasn’t quaking out of her hooves. I was scared to shit. “Y-you sound calm. How can you do that? If I were you, I’d be screaming. It’s so dark…”

There was a silence, before she finally said “Pinkie Pie taught us a song once…it was to laugh at your fears. She said the only way you could be afraid of things was to be afraid of them.”

“H-huh. I wish I was there.” I said, staring at the foreboding trees. They seemed to be looming closer to me. I began to trot faster. One looked like it was reaching for me. I began to canter. I looked behind me and saw a dreadful creature, reaching towards me, it's claws an inch away from me, and it was about to-

I ran into Fluttershy, knocking her over. “Ah! Oh, Earth, are you alright?” she asked, completely ignoring any injuries she had.

“Yeah…sorry I thought I saw something.” I suddenly smelled something spicy.

I think Fluttershy smelled it too because her eyes widened, and she said “Oh, no.” I closed my eyes and lowered my head. The vial of red spice had cracked and leaked all over the forest floor. “Fluttershy…I’m…I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to…”

Great. Perhaps the nicest pony in all of Ponyville that has never caused me harm, and I ruin her dinner.

“…I can go back to Zecora’s to get some more, so that way you can make your dinner.” I offered. Fluttershy simply shook her head.

“Ah…if you want to. That would be nice… but…” her voice trailed off. I suddenly began to feel extremely light headed. Fluttershy collapsed, her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Her irises grew to an incredible size. “Ohhhh noooo….the vial…” she said, her voice coming out incredibly slurred.

“Fluttershy…what whas in dat vial?” I said, hearing my own voice become slurred.

“Wasn’t spice…it was…a love potion…. Ever since Rainbow Dash…made fun of me for being virgin…I…I..I kinda really wanted to try it a lot.”

Either my hearing was going or she was pulling her trademark soft voice. What I had gotten out of that sentence was that Fluttershy was still a virgin. I stared at Fluttershy, and she stared back. I felt myself smiling and saw Fluttershy smile in return, her face now a deep velvet red.

Oh man. NOW what will Pinkie think?!

I tried to stop myself, but couldn’t. It was almost as if I was on auto-pilot. I stood over her, and Fluttershy threw her hooves around me. When I entered her, she let out a soft moan “Oh…my…”

“Y-You’re so big…ouch…ouch…something hurts…”

I would have told her that her hymen was most likely “popping”, but I found myself not able to do anything. All I could do was watch, almost as if I was along for the ride. I couldn’t even move harder or slower. I was stuck at a very menial “average” speed. At least I could still feel everything that was happening. Her walls closed in around my erection, and I leaned in for a kiss when I unexpectedly pulled out.

Wh-What the hell?

“Oh, right…I forgot” I said, with a strong monotone. She turned around on her belly and spread her ass. Again, I automatically moved forward.

WHAT?!!? I didn’t even like anal in the human world!!! OH GOD!

While her ass was significantly tighter than her vagina, it still felt dirty. I hunched down over her and began to lick her neck, and I saw her eyes tearing up, her face now a scarlet color. With one, final thrust I filled her ass with my seed.

I then lost my lightheaded feeling and toppled down right on top of her, still inside her. While I didn't like not being in control of my body, I still enjoyed the experience. I flipped her over and kissed her. She accepted it and looked at me with longing eyes. “You can do it again…If you want to.”

And so, I dove back into Fluttershy.

Author's Note

Originally, Fluttershy and Earth were to have made it out of the forest well, and Fluttershy was to have used the vial on Earth. However, seeing as her Element Of Harmony would most likely disallow that, I instead changed it to this, with the text being being a homage to the game.

Chapter Nineteen: Celestial Meltdown

Section IV: The Party

When I woke up, Pinkie was standing in front of me, rapidly bouncing up and down. “Ok, let’s go!” With that, she clutched my hoof and literally dragged me to the train station. Waiting there was Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy, Applejack and Rarity all looked away from me embarrassed. “Aww, come on guys! You remember Earth!” Fluttershy gently cleared her throat, while Rarity twirled her hair. Applejack started “Uh, Pinkie…We’ve got something to tell ya’.”

…For the love of Celestia, don’t do it.

“…Uh…we kinda…” TOOOOOT TOOOOT

The train arrived just in time, its blaring horn drowning out what Applejack was saying. It seemed as if Applejack was just pleased with herself about getting what she had to say out, even though nopony seemed to have heard her. Rainbow Dash seemed to have picked up on some of it though, because her mouth began to hang and she stared at me with wide eyes. I smiled sheepishly before rushing into the train.

The three ponies I had banged earlier all stared at me with uncertainty. Rarity finally noticed Fluttershy staring at me, and pulled her aside.

Oooh, for the love of Celestia, this is going to be a huge fucking drama bomb.

When they were done, they proceeded to sit across from me, while Pinkie and Rainbow Dash sat to my left and right, respectively. For the next hour, everypony sat silently, interspersed with Pinkie making pun jokes.

“Hey, hey guys! You know why the broom was late to school? He overswept! Hahah! Or, hey hey! Do you guys know why the rubber band slingshot was confiscated during school? It was a weapon of math disruption! *snort*”

Twilight appeared out of a back train and sat directly across from me, informing us we were almost there.

Ah…my third time to Canterlot. Hopefully nothing… sex involved happens.

The next three hours consisted of everypony preparing for the party, baking cakes, preparing dresses, practicing Sonic Rainbooms, etc. All the ponies seemed to have completely forgotten about me, as I had nothing to do. I walked into the main hall and found a nice bench to sit on. I guess I fell asleep, because the next thing I knew, the Princess was standing above me.

“Hello Earth.”

“Ah! Hello Princess! You look different…did you get a haircut?”

She fluffed up her hair a tad bit at the remark, and her pupils flashed sage quickly. “No. I didn’t. I need to sp-“

Suddenly, dozens of ponies streamed in with cake and the dresses. “Well Princess, I guess the party’s started, might wanna go converse with your subjects.” I said.

She dragged me rather forcefully off of the bench and into a back room. “I need to speak with you.”

She threw me on my back, and I saw her lust filled eyes.

Oh for bucks-

She sat directly on top of me, toying with my dick with her hooves.

“You know…cold metal against a penis isn't the, OW!...best feeling in the world! Oh geez, oh geez! Its pinching, it’s pinching!”
She smiled rather evilly at me and got on top of me. I entered her and her body flashed for a second. I tried to wrap my hooves around her hips, but found myself unable to move. She stared into my eyes and smiled cruelly. She flashed one final time before her flesh melted into a puddle around us. I was absolutely horrified at what was now on top of me; some sort of black bug pony, with luscious green hair and holes throughout her entire body.

She stroked my chin with one of her hooves and continued to ride me. “Wow…I really fooled you. You know, I’ve been keeping an eye on you since you came here. Strange, really, that it took so long for my Changelings to find you. The magic energy you are emitting is…” she sniffed in the air and suddenly her vagina closed tightly around my erection, “…amazing. It truly is a shame that I’ll have to kill you. After a little fun, of course, hehe.”

“Wait, what?! Kill me?! Why?!”

“Oh…well you see the magic energy you’re emitting is not only amazing, but unstable enough to be a…ooh…BOMB…ah…” she thrusted hard one last time and released her orgasm.

Well she can’t last that long.

“…if you know how to set it off, of course.” She wrapped me up in some sort of slimy green substance and went to a corner of a room. “Don’t worry. I won’t kill you just yet, I still have plans to perform…This day is going to be perfect…”

Chapter Twenty: The Mane Six

Hmmm! Where is Earth?! He made a Pinkie promise! Pinkie Pie stomped her hoof in impatience. “He made a Pinkie Promise! He’d better not break it!” She looked around frantically to see if she could spot him. Pinkie peeked out from below a chandelier and still could not spot him. She then peeked around Twilight and STILL couldn’t see him. “Uh…Pinkie what-“

“SHHHH! I’m looking for Earth! He’s breaking a Pinkie Promise!”

“Oh, really?” Twilight said, looking at Pinkie Pie calmly, “What did you prom-“

But by then, she was already gone.

Pinkie Pie figured he might be hiding in one of the back rooms, and she found a door slightly opened. She peeked inside and found Earth lying in the middle, covered in some sort of green liquid. She was almost about to charge in and demand why he broke a Pinkie Pie promise, but she then heard another voice! It was Queen Chrysalis!

Oh no! I’d better go warn the other girls! Thought Pinkie Pie

Earth stared at her, and his eyes widened when he saw her. Pinkie Pie began to wonder what he was thinking, but then cantered back to the main hall as fast as she could…

Meanwhile...

“Oh, really? What did you prom-" was all Twilight managed to ask Pinkie before she darted off. She sighed and shook her head. Twilight Sparkle had noticed that ever since about five days ago, the other ponies had been acting very strange. Embarrassed, unusually shy…which was normal for Fluttershy, but not for Applejack and Rarity. The only ponies that seemed “normal”, per se, were Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. Twilight tapped her hoof on her chin while she thought.

Is there some sort of catalyst? Some sort of reaction? Could they be seeing somepony…or did they do something?

She struggled to remember if anything odd had occurred when they went into their “moments”. Everything seemed relatively normal, except for…

“Eart-“

Twilight’s train of thought was disrupted as Pinkie Pie ran into her, and rapidly said that Queen Chrysalis was back, and she was holding Earth captive. “Oh, no. Celestia knows what she has planned for him! We need to get going!” Twilight said, alarmed. She rounded up the other girls and they proceeded to the storage rooms.

Meanwhile...

“Oh, my.” Fluttershy whispered, as she saw Pinkie Pie run past her and knock over the mare standing next to her. Fluttershy helped her up.

“Man, what a bitch!” the mare said, before running her hoof through her mane and trotting away. She raised her hoof, about to defend Pinkie Pie, but by then she was already down the hallway. Fluttershy sat down and lowered my head, letting out a soft sigh.

“I think…I think I’m the real…b-…well, that word.”

How could I live with myself? I had sex with Pinkie’s boyfriend.

Fluttershy looked at her hooves, and collapsed on the floor, closing her eyes. “Pinkie…I’m really sorry. I wish I-“

“Sorry? Why are you sorry Fluttershy?”

“AHHH!”

Pinkie Pie was standing directly above Fluttershy, her muzzle touching hers, her wide blue eyes staring into her own. “Ahh! Um, I’m sorry for…not trying your cupcakes!”

Pinkie smiled and said “Oh, you silly goose! Don’t be sorry for that, there’s more time for that, but later! Chrysalis is holding Earth hostage! Have you seen the others?”

She shook her head, but said she’d look for Rainbow Dash. Twilight came from around the corner, and when she saw Pinkie Pie, she became surprised. “Pinkie, how did you beat me here? You were stuffing you’re face with muffins just ten seconds ago!” Pinkie’s only response was to wink and zoom down the hallway. I heard that mean mare yell “Bitch”…I’m guessing Pinkie knocked her down again.

Meanwhile...

“I’m ‘tellin’ ya’. I know how to make baked apple crisps!” Rarity said, annoyed, to Applejack.

Applejack simply shook her head, and said “Look, Rarity, I’m sure ya do. But I was assigned to the cookin’ not you. Don’t you have…I dunno, dresses’ you could be makin?”

Rarity just twirled her mane, before saying “Deary, I’ve already made all the dresses. Look…just let me help with the cooking? How bad could it go?”

Applejack glared at her, thinking if she should remind her of the time Spike cooked spiders into the apple crisp under Rarity’s supervision. Deciding that she would, Applejack started “I’ve heard THOSE words before…remember when Spike cooked you tha-“

Rarity’s eyes popped open and she put a hoof towards Applejacks mouth. “Alright, alright…but he’s a baby dragon! Me and you, dear, are grown ponies! I’m sure I know how to cook something as simple as apple crisps! I mean, honestly, if somepony as simple minded as yo…err, never mind.”

Applejack facehoofed, and realized that arguing would get them nowhere.

Urgh…Just like that red feller told us that one day…wonder where he is right now anyways…I could use a good buckin’ Applejack thought.

“Fine, fine, you can help. Just don’t light nothin’ on fire!” Applejack said after some thought.

They were just about done when Twilight Sparkle came in and told them that Chrysalis had returned. Rarity ran out with Twilight, while Applejack stayed back a little longer; Rarity had dropped all of the burnt crisps she made on the floor when she rushed out. “That stupid tail of hers…always dragging things ‘round with it.” Applejack made her way into the hallway and caught up to the other two.

Meanwhile...

“Ahhhhhh….” Rainbow Dash sighed expressively. She always liked sleeping in the clouds. It was way better than sleeping on a bed down on the ground. She began to think about Earth, for some odd reason. Specifically, she thought about their first encounter, where he got on top of her. “Heh…the big dummy. I woulda’ showed him what for!” Rainbow Dash began to punch the air “…Gave him the old one two! If nopony else was around, that is.” She relaxed, sinking further into the cloud. Rainbow Dash picked up on some sort of commotion behind her, and realized that the cloud she was resting on had drifted to be alongside a window of the castle. She peeked in and saw Earth and Celestia.

“I need to speak with you.” The Princess said.

She then threw Earth on his back, and she simply stared at him. She suddenly dropped down, and began playing with his…
Rainbow Dash reeled back and almost vomited. But, for some reason she wanted to keep watching. It took her a bit to shove her head back into the window, but when she did, Celestia wasn't there anymore. Rather, some black pony with a green ma-…

“CHRYSALIS!!”

Rainbow Dash shot off her cloud and began to look for the other five, and after about ten minutes of searching for the others, she finally found them. They grouped up outside the room, and they all saw Earth staring at them. Rainbow Dash wondered what he was thinking…

Meanwhile...

I am so fucked.

That was really the only thought going through my head. I stared at the six ponies outside the room as they stared back. Chrysalis was still in the corner, still, rigging together a contraption of some sort.

Well for Celestia’s sake, don’t just sit there and stare at me! Do something!

I rolled over on my back, to avoid seeing them. The unmistakable ploosh sound of the thick green liquid hitting the concrete ground got Chrysalis attention. She looked back at me and smiled, evilly. “Don’t worry Earth, you’ll get to go on the final trip of your life soon enough.” Had she not stuffed the green crap down my throat earlier, I would’ve been screaming for my life. The most I could manage is a simple gurgle, and that would let some of the green stuff slip down to my stomach, where it hurt like hell, so I had stopped doing that a while ago. The Mane Six burst in, but Chrysalis didn’t seem to react at all. She whipped her head back and knocked down each one of them with one powerful blast. “HmHmHm…It really is a shame I have to kill you…”

Twilight staggered up. “H-How are you so powerful…?” Chrysalis appeared instantaneously in front of her and back-hooved her. “You fool. You know what takes the most amount of love to perform? SEX! And…I just had sex as one of Earth’s most favorite fantasies!”

Pinkie Pie momentarily brightened up.

“…Celestia! What a fool…” Chrysalis said, laughing evilly.

Pinkie Pie’s smile faltered, and she suddenly whimpered “What…?”

I struggled to say something, only to have the green slop travel down my throat. Pinkie detected this, as she slowly nodded, and whether it was in acceptance or something else, I didn't know. Chrysalis loomed over me, and told me that the preparations were complete. She attached me to a catapult of some sort and prepped me for launch.

Oh…so this is how I die. I never even got the chance to make it back home. Hell…I never even knew why I was here in the first place…

The next thing I knew, I was experiencing flight through the sky, almost like a majestic eagle soaring through the sky. In the last few seconds of my life, I began to lament on my past failures; I was anything but perfect. And two solid weeks in this world, and I hadn’t even found out why I was there. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. And now, I was being used as a bomb for some maniacal Queen’s plan. Worst of it all, I had utterly destroyed Pinkie Pie’s feelings. I felt the intense heat of the explosion and the split-second feeling of my flesh burning.

And for a moment there, I thought I was dead.

Chapter Twenty-One: Phoenix

Chapter Twenty-One: Phoenix

I awoke in some sort of weird dark green room, with a vortex pattern imprinted in the walls. The light bulb glowed an iridescent green. A commanding voice suddenly boomed out,

Don’t fuck up this time

“Wha- How am I still alive…?” I asked, searching for clues.

The deal was to bring you here, and keep you alive. I’m giving you a second shot…DON’T fuck it up. There is no third try. Do you hear me?

“I…I guess, but how the hell am I still…?”

Good. Then we have nothing else to discuss.

A bright red light suddenly enveloped my vision and I found myself literally being thrown into the past, and I then saw the Princess standing in my face.

“Hello Earth.”

“Err…hello there, Princess. You look…uh, different! Did you get a new body?”

Appalled at my strange question, Chrysalis simply raised her hoof. “I need to speak with you.” She said, feigning Celestia’s voice; now that I had heard her actual voice, there was an undertone that I could scarcely detect to indicate it was Chrysalis.

“Uh, huh, sure. Listen, I’ll get back to you. I’m sure you can wait on me.” I said to her, just as the party ponies began to stream into the doors. She was going to grab me again, but I simply said “…Wouldn’t want to create a scene and ruin you’re grand ‘plans’, now would we?”

“H-How in Tartarus do you…”

“Please, Chrysalis, I know a lot of things.”

Her eyes widened when I called her by her actual name.

“Yes, Queen Chrysalis, I know that’s you in disguise!” I said, a little louder. I got the attention of the nearest ponies.

“Yes, Queen Chrysalis, I know that you’re trying to have sex with me so you can increase your powers!!” I said, nearly shouting. All the other ponies ceased talking and had their eyes focused on us
.
“Yes, Queen Chrysalis, I know that-“

She gave me a quick, deft hoof to the jaw, and shape shifted into her true form. “Well, then Earth, I bet you didn't know your dear Princesses’ are trapped in the depths of Tartarus!” Furious that her plans were now on permanent hiatus, she fired a laser beam at me. I attempted to deflect it with a bolt of my own, but failed miserably. Her beam completely tore through my bolt, and subsequently her magic coursed throughout my body. I jittered a lot and felt the electricity rattling my teeth, and I fell against the marble floor.

She was quickly swept aside from a bolt by Twilight Sparkle, and the rest of the Mane Six. Pinkie quickly came to my side and winked. “Right after this Earthy durthy!”

Oh…please NEVER call me that again.

They all confronted Chrysalis, and after a rather explosive battle, they managed to leave Chrysalis in Tartarus and extract Luna and Celestia safely. While everypony was celebrating inside, I decided to venture outside and ponder why I was brought back.

“They had a job to bring me here…and make sure I stay alive.” I recited. But who assigned that job to them? And why was I to be kept alive? Was I just going to be the pawn of some other grand scheme? I then thought about Earth; could I ever make it back there alive? I wanted too, because as nice and cheerful as this world was, this wasn't where I belonged. Hell, it might even take a while to re-adjust to life back on Earth, but I know I’d bring the good spirits I've learned here back with me. If I could bring one of the ponies with me, even if it was a copy of some sort, I could help spread cheer back home...after all, what better proof to be the “Broniest of the Bronies” than have a real life pony from the show? Or any other sort of trinket. I could even-

Wait, damn…did I just think that? Am I really a brony now? Wait a fucking second, is that even important now? That should be on my list of LEAST important things right now.

Once I was finished thinking, I went back inside to be congratulated for my assistance in defeating Chrysalis.

Author's Note

Technically, Earth didn't die. Rather, the Odd Force that brought back Earth BEFORE he died, simply reverting time to a prior moment.

Chapter Twenty-Two: Regress

Section V: The Big Easy

Nothing of any particular interest happened between the party and my seventeenth day as a pony. While I was essentially a hero in this world, I didn't entirely like it. I found my thoughts drifting towards Earth more frequently than before. I knew for a fact I never belonged here. I wanted to go home. Even if it was more awesome and fun-filled here, I had a life back on Earth…and I missed it. Sure, I bet bronies would say that they’d want to live here forever…but until you actually experience it, until you actually find out what it’s like to live in a different world in a different body…you can’t truly know.

And I wasn't even a brony. I didn't really like it here, my first few days. I was more or less kind of…forced to like it, really. When I walk down the streets of Ponyville, I get gawked at, a lot. Foals run up to me, begging for my autograph. Fillies always stare with open-mouths at me.

And I don’t like it.

And as for my mental state…? Well I guess I’m still sane…considering I’ve managed to convince myself that this actually isn't a dream of some sort, and I’m actually, physically here (as if dying wasn’t a big indicator that this was real enough), I've been pretty good. Oh, and don’t get me started on my sex life, becau-

“EARTH!”

Snapped out of my train of thought, I focused back on Rainbow Dash, whom I was helping today.

“Hey, buddy, you alright? You looked kinda…glazed for the past few minutes.”

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine, sorry.”

I picked a nearby box and loaded it into the carriage.

“So, where are these packages going?”

“Ah! To the Cloudesdale Rainbow Factory!”

“Really? You think you could…give me a tour, sometime?” I asked her, aware of the fan fiction that surrounded the Rainbow Factory.
“Erm…sorry, Earth. Employee’s only. It’s really toxic up there, with the liquid thunder and all.”

I did manage to get a peek into one of the boxes, and all I saw was simple gears…certainly not the frightened foals that I was expecting to see.

“How do you make Rainbows, Rainbow Dash?”

“Heh…well a rainbows tale is quite as nice as the stories you’ve probably heard about them.”

Shuddering at how close that was to the song about the Rainbow Factory, I informed her “No, I haven’t heard much on how Rainbows are made. Care to do a quick demonstration?

“Well…I don’t have the right stuff here. You see, what we do is we pull in unicorns from across Equestria and have them do some little egghead stuff to make Spectra, the stuff that we make Rainbows out of, and from there we just refine it, process it, slap a sticker on it and send it over to-“

“Wait, you don’t actually make Rainbows? Then who does?”

“Up there!” She pointed a hoof towards the brighter section of the Rainbow Factory.

“So…no foals, then?”

“Err, what did you just ask me? How could foals be used to make-“

“Ah, hah! Nevermind, nevermind. Don’t worry about it.” I shakily said.

I’m just glad I haven’t seen “Pinkamena Diane Pie” yet… I mused, referring to Pinkie Pie’s nearly-emo alternate ego.

Finished packing the carriage, she gave the “Go Ahead” to the pilots and they zoomed off towards the Rainbow Factory. A little sweaty, she asked if I wanted to cool off at her house; it was right around the corner. Without waiting for a response, she zoomed off. I followed her, but the minimal amount of clouds to walk on made me…frightened, to say the least. Nearly ten minutes later, I reached her house; I had nearly fallen ten times. When I opened the door, she was relaxing on a futon, looking outside. “Oh! Hey there Earth, what took ya’ so long?” she teased. I gave her a stern stare, and said “Sorry, I don’t like heights much.” Rainbow Dash sat up straight suddenly, her face suddenly gaining a slight pink tone. “H-Hey Earth. Do you remember when we first met?”

One of my more memorable moments in Ponyville…

Apparently I said that out loud because Rainbow Dash looked slightly disgusted at me. “R-Right…” I asked her if there was a point in the question, and she responded by telling me to wait here. She quickly zoomed out of her house, creating a sizable hole in the cloud wall.
“Must be nice, having a home created entirely of clouds.” I said, watching the wall reform itself, “…just repairs itself as time goes on.”

Chapter Twenty-Three: Sonic Rainblow

Rainbow Dash returned about five minutes later with a small crate full of food and wine. She knocked against the side of it with her hoof. “Got it at the Rainbow Factory!” She cracked open the box and tossed me a bottle of wine and grabbed her own bottle before plopping down on the cloud chair behind her.

Geez…sometimes I forget that Rainbow Dash is a girl.

She opened her bottle and began to chug it. I simply stared, open-mouthed as she swallowed every last drop and let out a loud burp.

“So, uh, what do you do for a living?”

“Oh, you know, save Equestria dozens of times with the Elements of Harmony, do work for Cloudsdale…you know, basic stuff."

“Yeah...pretty basic.”

I looked down at my bottle, which wasn't even half empty. When I looked up, Rainbow Dash was about less than an inch away from my face. I recoiled back a little bit. “What do you do?”

“…Well…save Equestria from a few dozen threats and try not to die every day of my life.” I jokingly said.

“No, what do you ACTUALLY do?”

I chuckled a little bit, uneasily. “Do you wanna know what I used to do? I used to work at an electrical facility, making sure people’s power stayed up and running. I used to have this thing that ran off electricity where I could play games on it…I used to hang out with my friends, and have good times…I used to…I used to do a lot of things.” I said, with the last few words being choked up.

“Well…what happened?” Rainbow Dash asked softly.

I threw my hooves up around me.

“This.”

Rainbow Dash seemingly didn't understand. I struggled to remember if there was any sort of movie or episode that could explain my predicament; A human gets dragged into their world. Or, rather if the roles were reversed, a pony would have been dragged into my world.

“I don’t…” I began, but decided to withhold what I actually was. “Just drama. That’s all.”

Rainbow Dash edged closer to me and softly asked, “So, I’m guessing you aren't from around here, then? Like, not even any area close to here?”

“No. I’m from a place a very long way from here.”

The more I drank the wine, the more I talked about my life back home. The only thing I left out was the fact that I actually didn’t come from this world. I talked about my friends, my habits, my job…all the while getting woozier and my eyesight getting fuzzier. It got to a point where Rainbow Dash was just a literal cyan blob, and at that point I knew I had enough. I staggered to the door and opened it; it was nighttime alright. I was about to step out when a hoof reached around and pulled me back inside. The last feeling I remember is suddenly getting an erection, and a light blue blob bouncing up and down on top of me.

A Few Hours Later...

I woke up the following morning lying next to Rainbow Dash, in her bed. I quickly rolled out of the bed and peeked my head up, eyeing Rainbow Dash cautiously.

What the hell happened last night?

I then noted the stickiness around my lower body.

“Mother of Celestia….what the-!?”

Rainbow Dash was suddenly in front of me, eyeing me groggily.

“Hey there, big guy…heh”

“Are you hung-over or something?”

She hiccuped and then said “No…No I’m not hung-over. Just…still a little tipsy is all. Hehehe…”

“What did we do last night?” I asked her, my head starting to experience a splintering pain.

“What didn’t we do? Man, Earth, you've convinced me that being a lesbian isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.” She said, all the while rolling around the bed.

“Y-You raped me?”

“Earthy…it’s only rape if you don’t like it…heheh! And hooooo boy! You were shouting so loud then neighbors got a little too nosey.”

Great. Now I can add “Almost Raped” to the list of things that’s happened to me. Let’s place below “Death”…

A little bit disgusted, I began to walk out of the house when Rainbow Dash called out to me “Oh yeah! And you can come back annnnnyyyyytime! In fact…you can even come over to the Rainbow Factory! I’m the CEO! Have fun out there Earthy!”

I thanked her and quickly left the her home.

No way am I going to be grinded up into Rainbows…

When I left her house, it was a long way down back to ground. When I was about nine feet above the ground, I saw a familiar face on a nearby cliff; Trixie. She stared at me with a rather peculiar stare; It was filled with neither malice nor love. It was almost neutral in a way, but had an air of some sort of mystery. She quickly enveloped herself in a light blue ball and vanished. It was at that time I knew I was ready.

It was time to go home.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Twilightlicious

I decided to visit Twilight Sparkle’s home, in an effort to uncover more about Trixie. When I reached her Library, I was greeted by her, rather than her dragon. “Hi there Earth! Is there something I can do for you?” I shook her hoof and told her that there was indeed something she could help me with. When I mentioned the name “Trixie” to her, Twilight’s face went from genial to serious. She looked around me to see if anypony else was around and quickly rushed me inside. I took a seat across from her and she sighed heavily before looking at me. “What do you want to know?”

I have a million questions about Trixie. Where did she come from? Has she been here before? How come she teleported me? Why me? Who- I thought, my mind racing.

Clearing my thoughts, I took a deep breath, and asked “Trixie…is she somepony who can be trusted?”

Twilight chuckled lightly and leaned over on her chair. “That depends on who you’re talking about. Snips and Snails? Well…I actually don’t know how much they trust her.”

Disregarding the names, as I had no clue who they were, I then asked Twilight if Trixie had ever been to Ponyville before, to which Twilight gently smirked and replied “She has. Twice, actually. And both times…well, let’s just say she won’t be winning any popularity contests anytime soon.”

“What happened?”

“Well, the first time she came here, she said she defeated an Ursa Major…but then, Snips and Snails woke one up, and she admitted she couldn't defeat one.” She fluffed up her hair suddenly. “It was up to me to end up defeating it…which was no easy task.”

I ventured a little further, asking Twilight what happened the second time.

She sighed, and then said “The second time, she challenged me to a magic duel, wearing the Alicorn Amulet. It increases a unicorn’s power thirty-fold, and gives them the power of an Alicorn, but also corrupts the users mind. With the help of my friends, we managed to beat her.” She suddenly looked out of a nearby window and squinted. She slowly returned her gaze back to me with a sparkle in her eyes.

“You want to know what fascinates me?”

I would've liked to know more about Trixie, but…

“…Uh, I guess?”

“How ponies think that there’s other life out there.”

I doubled over at her remark and asked her if she believed that there was indeed life out there.

“Oh, of course not! Think about it! If there was other life out there, don’t you think we would've detected it by now? With our magic, we should be able to detect life out there…but the only things we can sense are supernovas, just like that one about three weeks-“

“Yeah, but what if that life isn’t as advanced…or rather, MORE advanced? What if they already know you exist, but decided to leave you in peace?” I tapped my hooves together in thought, before finally saying “…and what if you’re magic can only detect other ponies?

Twilight stared dumbfounded at me before shaking her head quickly and laughing. “You’re saying that there’s other life that aren't ponies out there?! That’s outrageous!”

I chuckled a little bit, knowing full well just how wrong Twilight Sparkle was, but I decided to leave it in peace. Twilight, not wanting to give it up, however, called for Spike.

“Spiiiiiiiiiike! Can you come here please? I want you to bring me that book on space, please!”

Curiously enough, the green dragon didn't show up at all. Twilight called for him a few more times, before returning her attention back to me. She gave me an apologetic look and said “I’m sorry…Spike has been acting pretty weird lately. Could you do me a favor and just keep an eye out for him around Ponyville? I’d really appreciate it.”

I agreed to keep an eye out for Spike.

“Well…you pretty much answered all my questions about Trixie, so thank you."

“Wait a second, why did you want to know about Trixie in the first place?” Twilight edged a little closer and raised an eyebrow, “She isn't around here, is she?”

“No…No I just ran into her in the countryside, that’s all. She seems nice enough” I added.

Twilight shrugged lightly, saying “Like I said, it just depends on the ponies.” I thanked Twilight and left her house, and I actually didn't get too far before I heard a familiar harsh blowing sound again.

“For bucks sake…Spike is that you?” I asked nopony in particular. I heard a reply, and I looked in a bush behind me to find Spike crouching down.

“Hey there Spike, what are you doing here? You know Twilight nee-“

“SHHHHHHH! Twilight can’t know I’m here!” Spike put a finger to both mine and his mouth.

“Why not? Got the hots for Twilight too?” I teased.

He gave me a rather stern look before answering in the negative.

“Well, why are you hiding out here, then?”

“Look…you don’t know what it’s like living with Twilight. Organizing books, dusting off books, alphabetizing books, polishing books…”

I gave him a look when he said “polishing books”.

“Yes! That’s right! I have to polish books!”

I facehoofed, then asked “What do you want me to do?”

He gave me a surprised look, before stammering out “I-I actually didn’t think you’d help me. I kinda thought you’d just drag me back to Twilight…”

I playfully hit him on the shoulder. “I guess I kinda owe you one after I banged your love interest there.” Spike’s face went beet red and he mumbled something inaudible. He looked back at me, face still red, and asked if I could buy him a train ticket. Thinking back three weeks ago when I first went to Canterlot, I surmised that train tickets would cost about one-hundred bits.

“Well…” I began, “One-hundred bits isn’t too much to pay.”

“One-hundred? Oh no, where I’m going, it’s gonna cost TWO-hundred bits.”

“Spike, are you kidding me?! Just where the hay do you plan on going?!”

“Actually…I’m gonna need two tickets.”

“You’re bringing Sweetie Belle?!” I said, silently screaming.

“Look, I just don’t wanna talk about it! I’ll give you a reward! I’ll leave Twilight’s door unlocked the night I get the ticket.”

“…What is that going to do? So I can sneak into her home and do what? Steal the dozens of books on the bookshelves? I bet the History of Equestria would fetch a pretty price, I’m sure!”

Spike, starting to get impatient, stomped his foot “I know you know what I mean when I said I’ll leave her door unlocked. Look, just please get me the train ticket.”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Sure thing, champ.” I trotted away from Spike, searching around for things I could do to make an extra one-hundred and fifty bits. It was my day off at the Café today, so that scratches out that job. “Maybe…Applejack could use some help around the farm. If this place is anything like back home, farmers usually always need help.”

When I got to the farm, I got a view of Applejack shaking her plot in the air while picking up apples that had fallen. I cleared my throat and she turned around. “Well howdy there red feller. Quite honestly didn’t expect y’all to come back around here after Rarity…well, ya’ know.” She wiped sweat off her brow and asked if there was anything she could do for me. “Is there anything like…work I could do around here? Perhaps?” Applejack laughed heartily before confirming that there was work I could do around. “It’s about…fifty bits per hour there red feller. All ya gotta do is buck the apple trees.” I looked at the trees, and then back to Applejack.

Fifty bits an hour for kicking trees…? Well, this’ll be easy.

“Fifty bits an hour for bucking trees sounds easy, but trust me red feller, there’s a reason we pay this much for this kinda work.” Applejack informed me, almost reading my thoughts.

I trotted over to the tree and gave it a firm kick. The tree simply shook. Applejack smirked lightly and called for her little sister. Applebloom came running over and was told to show me how to really buck a tree. I laughed a little bit, not seeing as how the little filly could possibly be stronger than me. She winded up and released a kick, causing dozens of apples to collapse. My jaw dropped at the sight, and I looked towards Applejack, who was smiling. “And THAT, Earth, is how you buck a tree!”

I tensed myself for the next three hours of work…

Sometime Later...

What originally planned to be three hours of work slowly dragged out into four; once we had finished bucking the trees, I discovered that Applejack still needed help around the farm. While helping her, she kept insisting she didn’t need my help, but I knew she appreciated it in the end. I figure I’d mind as well make my last few days here being as helpful as possible.

Applejack handed me the one-hundred and fifty bits along with a bonus sixty, and she gave me a quick peck on the cheek, surprising me. “If Pinkie don’t quite satisfy you sometimes, Earth, I’ll always be here!” she said seductively. I awkwardly laughed and thanked her. At this time, it was around midday, so there was still plenty of time to get things done. I headed to the train station and bought two tickets. I went back to see if Spike was still in his spot, which he was. I found it kind of odd because he was just crouched there.

I handed him the tickets and his stress filled face suddenly became overjoyed. “Woah! Thank you Earth! I-…didn’t think…well, anyway, thank you!” He high-fived me and told me to come back in four hours. I nodded, curious as to what Spike was possibly planning for me inside Twilight’s home.

Four Hours Later...

I came back after four hours of resting to find Spike still crouched there. “Spike…have you been here, like, all day?” He nodded gravely.

“…What have you been eating?” He pointed around the bush. “Where have you been using the bathroom?” He simply looked up at me. Starting to get agitated at his sudden muteness, I then asked “Why aren’t you talking?!”

He put a finger to my mouth and mouthed the word “Quiet”. He directed my head towards a nearby window to show me something. It was the Mane Six having a party. “Don’t the other five know that you’re trying to escape?”

He shook his head and finally began to whisper to me “…No. I knew they wouldn’t help me. I asked Fluttershy, but she simply giggled at me. If Fluttershy wouldn’t do it for me, then I knew nopony else would. You’re the only one I could trust. You’re…not exactly new here…but you haven’t been here as long as the others.”

“Spike, tell me why you want to leave. Twilight can’t be the only reason.”

He looked at me sadly and sighed. “It’s…it’s just a personal problem. Sweetie Belle’s been having the same problems.”

“What’s going on, Spike?”

His only reply was to look long fully at one of the ponies inside Twilight’s home. I eventually traced his eyes to Rarity, who looked like she was having a splendidly joyful time.

“What did Rarity do…?”

“She betrayed me! And she betrayed Sweetie Belle…she took my feelings and she just…” he made a crushing imitation with his hands.

“Oh…right. THAT day…you know, I’m really sorry abo-“

“No…no…that wasn’t your fault. They’d been planning that for a few days.”

I became a bit surprised upon hearing this revelation.

“Excuse me?!” my voice becoming shrill. He moved his hands toward my mouth again but I swatted it away. “Sorry…”

“What do you think me and Sweetie Belle were talking about in the tent?”

“Talking?! All I heard was a bunch of moans and groans!” I silently screamed.

“No, you’ve got it all wrong! Sweetie Belle told me about their plan. I couldn’t see what she was doing at first because the flashlight died, so I asked her to make a sound…when she did, I groaned because I realized what she meant…and eventually she just kept making that sound and I was sick of hearing it, so I tried to get her to be quiet. When you yelled at us…well I had just gotten her to stop.”

“W-What about the licking? The slapping sounds?”

“The slapping was us making a pact to NEVER, tell anypony what we talked about…unless it was to you. And the licking…there wasn’t any of that. All we did was do our secret handshake!”

Wait a minute…was that what Sweetie Belle was trying to tell me that day?!

“So why is Sweetie Belle leaving?”

“Rarity’s getting bad again. That’s all she’ll say. They don’t entirely act like sisters anymore…”

“Do you know why Rarity and Applejack planned this?

He simply shrugged, before noticing the party had ended a long time ago.

“Ah, good. Here…” he maneuvered to the front door, unlocked it, and then opened it. “…There you go.”

“I still don’t know what I’m going to- HEY!” I began to say before Spike rather forcefully shoved me inside.

When he closed the door, the entire room became drenched in darkness. After a few seconds, I could make out a very faint purple glow to the top right of my vision. The more I stared at it, the brighter it grew. I felt drawn to it…as if I needed to go to it. It was my light in the darkness. However, remembering my time with Chrysalis simply made me put all efforts into breaking out of the draw. By the time I realized where I was, the purple glow enveloped my vision.

“Mmmn…who is that?”

“I-…Twilight…?”

“E-Earth…? Wha...How did you get in here?”

“Can’t…Twilight…?”

“Oh, it is you Earth…mmnnn, what do you want?”

“Move…?”

“Oh! Earth! I’m so sorry!”

Twilight released her psychic grip on me and I crashed into the floor, hitting my head.

“What are you doing in my house?” Twilight asked me, her face a crimson red and hot air coming out of her mouth.

“I was told that…I would get an, ow, reward.”

Upon hearing those words, Twilight narrowed her eyes and licked her lips. “I don’t know what you did, Earth, but you can bet that I will give you that reward.”

Well, shit. What is this, seven now? Eight including Chrysalis…blah

She dragged me onto her bed and her horn began sparking. Within two seconds, I got an erection.

“How the hay?”

I then saw her magic surrounding my dick, to which Twilight simply giggled giddily. “Oh, it’s been awhile. The last time I had sex was…about a year ago when my brother got married! I knew it was the last time I was going to see him, so I took the chance!”

WHAT THE BUCK DID SHE JUST TELL ME?

“Wh-What the BUCK DID YOU JUST-“

With lightning quick action, she swapped from using her horn to riding me. She put her hooves around my head and moved in for a kiss. Still kinda grossed out by the tidbit I found out about Twilight, I did my best to not vomit in her throat while she moved her tongue in my mouth. She rose up suddenly, letting out loud moans of ecstasy. She suddenly threw her left hoof out, knocking open a nearby window.

“Uh…Twilight, the window?”

“OOooh! I don’t care! The neighbors can hear us! MMmn! Ahh!”

For Celestia’s sake, she may be a bookworm in real life but she’s a freaking party animal when it comes to sex

“I’ve…ohh! Been having dreams about this since Celestia’s party! I just knew the…mmnnnn! Other girls had their fun! It’s only fair you save the best for last! Ahhah!” Her wings rapidly spread out and hot liquid began to run down my penis. She got off and told me to stand up. Tapping her hoof against her muzzle, she said “Check this out! It’s a spell that enhances orgasm!”

“Well, I guess I kind of am close to…wait, are you sure this is saAAAAA-!”

I felt electricity jolt through my body and a torrent of cum came out, covering the walls behind Twilight and drenching Twilight herself in the sticky fluid. I fell onto my back, feeling drool erupt out of my mouth.

I don’t think I’ll feel anything quite as nice in my entire life…wait, what’s that? It kinda…stings down there…Huh…kinda feels like…it’s on…fire?!

Taking a quick look at my groin confirmed that it wasn’t on fire. It just really hurt. A lot.

While I was writhing in pain, I heard Twilight say that she should write a letter to the princess about the fun she had tonight, but then remembered Spike was missing.

“Hey…you wouldn't have happened to seen Spike while you were out there, were you?”

“Ouch…no…I haven’t seen him” I told her, glad I wasn’t an Element of Harmony. She simply shrugged and lay down next to me, cuddling with me and saying goodnight. The only thought that was going through my head was;

I’m going to be extremely sore tomorrow.

Author's Note

As a direct homage to the game, this chapter is almost entirely based off of the game.

Chapter Twenty-Five: Bass Muffin

Four days later, I fully recovered from Twilight’s “Sperm Enhancement” spell and my soreness. It also meant that I’d been in this world for three whole weeks. “Almost a month gone. I kinda have to wonder if time passes by at the same rate as back home.” I made a decision to put all my efforts and resources into tracking down Trixie, and so far, I had no such luck in finding her. I figured that I’d track down the local Mailmare and see if I could find out where Trixie’s address was…if she had a home.

I ran across the wall-eyed gray pegasi from my first day here, and asked if she knew where Trixie lived. “Hmm…nope! Sorry.” I shrugged lightly and thanked her. As I trotted away, I heard her call out to me. “Uhm…excuse me, Earth?” I turned to face her, and she hid her face shyly behind her hooves. “I, uhm…well, my partner called in sick…I was wondering if you could…help me on my route?”

Well…I did do the paper route for a month or three back home. I suppose this should be the same setup.

“OK…Derpy was it? I’ll help you.” I said.

“Really?! Oh…I mean, thank you so much!” Derpy ecstatically said. She handed me a few dozen parcels, one package, and a town map.

“So just drop it off on the doorstep and you’ll be set!”

“Wait, aren’t you afraid somepony’s would steal the-…actually, nevermind.” I stopped myself, remembering to not mix my culture with theirs.

“If you need me, just look around in the clouds. See ya!”

“Wait, I’m not a…pegasi.” I said, as she zoomed off towards her next destination, bumping into a mare, who rather meanly called her a dumb bitch.

Doing the route was actually quite easy, but I did run across a name that I did not recognize whatsoever; DJ-PON3. I looked around everywhere, but didn’t see any mentioning of DJ-PON3 anywhere. There was Lyra…Wooden Toaster…Bon Bon…Vinyl Scratch…but no DJ-PON3 anywhere. Figuring that I needed Derpy’s help, I turned my heads skyward to see if I could spot her. I eventually walked into an alleyway, my head still craned skyward, when I heard Derpy. My head snapped forward and I saw Derpy hunched low, her back facing me. I was about to call out to her when I noticed her hoof moving back and forth rapidly.

Is she hurt?

I reached out to touch her when I heard a shlicking sound. And I heard her gently moan. As quietly as I could, I backed out of the alley and pressed myself against the wall.

“THAT, was too close…” I waited for five minutes, before I heard the beating of wings getting closer to the entrance. She rounded the corner and I greeted her, surprising her a little bit.

“Oh, hi there Earth! What’s the problem?”

“Derpy…I have an address here…DJ-PON3? I suppose you don’t know who that is?”

“Oh, really? She still hasn’t changed her address name yet? Ugh, that Vinyl…”

“Wait, her name is Vinyl? Then why does-“

“Nevermind that, just follow me!”

And off we went towards Vinyl’s house. I knocked on the door, only to hear the faint sound of dubstep playing. The more I knocked on the door, the louder the sound got. I turned to face Derpy, who simply shrugged in response.

“Why can’t I just leave this package on the step?”

“Because it’s a package, silly. We only leave parcels on the steps. Packages we deliver straight to the pony!”

“Could you help me find an opening or get Vinyl’s attention? Please?”

We spent the next ten minutes looking like burglars trying to get into her house. We searched every nook and cranny, even going so far as to try and enter her house via the chimney, which was blocked off by speaker system. While Derpy searched the roof area, I sat, staring at the door. It had a pretty neat design; A vinyl record adorned the top of the door, and the doorknob shone a vivid teal, complete with a musical note. The door itself was pretty weathered. There were cracks and it looked almost as if it was rotting. It was kind of odd how the record was nearly flawless though. In spite of the almost ugly looking door, the record was perfect. Shiny, even. I studied the inside of the record, searching for an artist name or band cover.

“Huh…”

I tapped the record, and felt something land by my hooves. I looked down.

“Hey! Derpy! I found the key!”

Derpy flew back to me, bumping into the roof on the way down. “Nice!”

I unlocked the door, and was blasted with dubstep and the smell of sweat and energy drinks. Derpy and I entered the room and gently closed the door behind us. I turned to face Derpy and yelled “How do you think we get her attention!?”

“I don’t know! Try jumping in front of her!”

“Don’t you think that would scare her!? What if she has a gun or knife or something over there?!”

“What’s a gun!?”

“You know wha- Nevermind! I’m gonna jump in fro-“

I felt something fly into my mouth. Still looking at Derpy, I noticed she had something in her mouth as well. I stuck my tongue out. A small white strip stared back at me.

Oh for the love of Celestia tell me this isn’t acid.

I stared at Vinyl, who flicked a switch, causing strobe lights to go off.

“Now it’s a party baby!” I heard her yell.

“Oh…oh man…” I said, everything starting to become blurry.

“Wha-What is this shtuff?” I heard Derpy ask.

“Woo-hoo! Looks like this aphrodisiac stuff works after all!”

Aphrodisiac? Now why does that sound familiar?

Derpy suddenly collapsed beside me, twitching.

Oh no…is it poison?! No, they said there wouldn’t be any second chances! Oh Celestia, no…I’m so close to going home!

Luckily, for my sanity, Derpy got back up, drooling from her mouth, a puddle below her. I saw my boner before I felt it, and suddenly got the strongest urge to bend Derpy over and stick it in her ass. I felt myself grinning and Derpy seemed to know what the plan was. I turned to Vinyl, and groggily motioned for her to come over. She wobbled over. Inserting myself into Derpy’s ass while Vinyl licked her clit, was perhaps the most perverted thing that I could have ever thought up. The dubstep drowned out all our moans and screams of happiness and pleasure, but for some reason fueled my sex drive. Getting close, I had both the girls sit in front of me while I finished.

“I’m…uh…close, now.” I said.

Oh man…I hope this isn’t what I think this is.

“Aaaaany…second now…”

Am I still dried up…?

“Er…”

Oh shit. OH SHIT! Nothing’s coming out! Oh shit! Damn it Twilight! Damn it!

I finally felt the rushing feeling and was glad that that potentially awkward and embarrassing moment was averted. I collapsed between the two of them, and wrapped them both up in my hooves, and as I lay there, I figured out why I couldn’t find Trixie; The only place Trixie ever showed up to talk to me directly had been at one specific place. The only place where I had EVER seen her, had been at that one specific place. The Crossroads.

And tomorrow…tomorrow would be the day.

Tomorrow would be the day I go home.

Author's Note

There were originally more OC names than just Wooden Toaster. However, I felt like lowering the numbers of OC's to make the story as "canon" as possible. I kept WT's name because it was the first one I thought of, and because of his Rainbow Factory song.

Also, this chapter is slightly influenced by the game as well, concerning the fact of Vinyl's House Design.

Chapter Twenty-Six: You Shall Know The Truth

The following day, I was awoken by a sucking sound. “Pinkie…you’re just way too good at this now.” I heard a snort before something that sounded like,

“Gee, thanks Earth!”

I let her finish, and thanked her. I cleaned her and myself up and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading on my way to the Crossroads. I practiced up charging my magic on the way there. When I got there, I simply sat down and waited. I knew she would show up eventually. I eventually passed out, and was awoken by a hoof to the face.

“Wake up, sleepy head.”

“Waah…Trixie you…”

“You've got a lot to answer for, Earth.”

“Like what?” I asked her, rubbing my new wound.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie has been watching you ever since that fiasco with Princess Celestia and those twelve guards. You’re sickening. I would be doing Equestria a favor by vaporizing you into dust.”

“Really? Even after I defeated Discord and you would be willing to kill one of Equestria’s greatest heroes?” I challenged her.

“You? You are not a hero. Do you know what you are? You’re a human. You don’t belong here. You never did. Trixie did you a favor."

“How do you...”

“Hah, you honestly thought that Trixie didn’t know what you were? You are an idiot. The Great and Powerful Trixie brought you here. I know what you are, what you did before you came here, Trixie knows every detail about you. And the best part? You were picked at random. You’re just immensely lucky to be alive.”

Having enough of Trixie’s rather snarky attitude, I rose up quickly and fired a bolt directly at her face. She quickly teleported.

“Oh, puh-lease. You've only been a pony for three weeks! Do you honestly expect you can use your body better than ours?”

I answered her question directly before firing a bolt at the tree.

“Nice sho-“

The shot bounced off the tree and hit Trixie in the leg.

“-oot!! AaaaahH!!” she screamed. She fired lightning off at me and I quickly evaded, getting close to her. Sensing the change of the battle style, she prepared herself for CQC. Assuming she’d use her little leg sweep, I jumped and gave her a left hook straight to the face, which knocked her over.

“Gah!”

I got on top of her and pinned her head against the ground, making sure not to put my horn towards hers.

“P-Please…I’m sorry. Don’t kill me!”

“Who’s the idiot now? I don’t plan on killing you.”

“R-Really? Then what do you plan on doi-“

I smiled evilly and I saw her demeanor change.

“Wha-“

She felt it before she saw it.

“No…Please, anything but that! Please! Please! No…Not that!”

“Now then, will you tell me why I’m here?”

“I…can’t!”

“Oh well…hope you’re at least a little moist down there.”

“Wait, waaaaAAAiiiit!”

Trixie must’ve been a virgin, because she was tighter than Celestia, so tight, in fact, I could barely fit.

I moved my hooves to pin both her arms on the ground, and locked my legs around hers, ensuring there wasn't any way for her to move. She still struggled, and I demanded again “Why am I here?”

“Can’t…Can’t! Ohh…”

“You sure act like you don’t like it, but your face tells me otherwise.”

Trixie looked back at me, breathing heavily and with scarlet adorning her face. “You bastard…I love…No, I hate you! MMnnn…ohh”

“Just tell me.”

“NO!!! MMMMnnnnn…oh…”

“You know, I think it’d be more of a punishment to stop having sex with you than having sex with you.”

“I…please don’t stop…no, wait! Stop! No, don’t! Ahhh!”

Watching Trixie’s apparently split conscious was rather humorous to watch, but I didn't know what action to take. If I stopped, she might escape. If I kept going, though, I would just be giving her what she wants. Seeing how much she enjoyed it, though, convinced me to stop. With a great amount of effort, I pulled myself out of Trixie. She looked at me, bewildered.

“Hey! Why did you stop!?”

“I thought you didn’t like it.”

“I do…not! I do not like it! But…I mean…you’re still here and all, why not finish?”

“You’re something else Trixie. Tell you what, I’ll keep going…” Her face lit up “…If you tell me why I’m here.”

Her face turned to stone as she debated her options.

“Trixie, understand me. I just want to go home. I don’t want to be here. I want to go back home to Earth.”

Her stone face turned soft upon hearing my words.

“I’m…I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

Her face began to tear up.

“I’m sorry…”

“Could you tell me why you’re apologizing?” I asked her, tensing myself for a trap.

“For this.”

I prepared to counter, but realized she was speaking about the “I’m a pony” predicament.

“Trixie…why am I like this? Why did you do this?”

“You mean you don’t remember?”

“Remember…? What did I forget?”

What did I…forget?
Wait.
It’s…coming back.

Oh…Oh my God

Author's Note

This scene is meant to reflect Trixie's second scene, rather than the first.

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Horror

Author's Note

Part one of a four bonus chapter segment. This story is obviously inspired by the infamous story known as Cupcakes, and gets rather graphic. Those that have weak stomachs should avoid reading this.

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Horror

Section VII: Agony, Destiny, and Hopelessness

“Earth.”

“Huh…? Who is that?”

“Earth, wake up.”

“Oh…Pinkie, it’s you. What’s up?”

“Shh…quiet now.”

I couldn't entirely see her in the dark, but I could feel a warm feeling suddenly engulf around my penis.

“What are you doing?!”

“What does it…mmf…seem like? I’m having sex with you silly!”

I relaxed somewhat. Remembering I had a horn, I began to light the place up, when Pinkie suddenly threw her hooves around my horn.

“No. Don’t use that.”

“Wait a second…Pinkie, where are we?”

I heard her giggle, and I suddenly picked up on the stench of something sour.

“Can you smell it?”

“Yeah…what is that?”

“It’s you, silly.”

“What?! Did I piss myself or something?!”

“No…but I have kept you asleep for quite a long time.”

“Wait, what the hell are-“

I suddenly felt the walls tightening, and I shot up.

“Ahhh…I’m gonna miss you Earth…”

“Are you going somewhere?”

I heard the soft taps of hooves clicking against stone, before they suddenly stopped. I heard a sharp beeping sound that rang through my ears before light started to fill the room.

“Well, ah, that’s a little better. Now, could you tell-…what the FUCK?!”

Pinkie was sitting directly in front of me wearing some hideous coat made of...other ponies. She wiped blood off her brow. “I figure I can clean her off later…” she threw her hoof back, pointing towards the seemingly hollowed body of Rainbow Dash. “…But as for you, well, look at it this way; you can die with your girlfriend!”

So the stories were true?! She…no, this can’t be right! I thought Silver Spoon was…

I noted a small foal’s body rotting in the corner of the room.

Which would mean…

Applebloom came out of the darkness.

“Howdy there mister! You remember me? I’m gonna let Pinkie Pie handle this one, but let me tell you that you just look downright deeeeelicious!”

This…no, I can’t. I just want to go home! Why?!

“Please…Please, Pinkie DON’T do this!”

She brought over a table full of scalpels and other potentially hazardous objects.

“Please, I don’t want to die, Pinkie, PLEASE!”

She picked up a scalpel and put it close to my stomach. She glanced up at me quickly.

“Any other last words?”

I became desperate.

“I’m not from here! I’m not from this planet! You have to believe me, I just want to go home!”

She withdrew the scalpel and looked into my eyes, and I breathed a sigh of relief. She smiled before she quickly dug the scalpel into my stomach.

“I knew that, silly.”

“ARGH! H-How…?”

“I know everything! My Pinkie Sense started to go bananas when I first met you, and I knew then and there you were an aliieeeen!” she said, digging the blade around my stomach.

“Oh, but silly me!” She said, retrieving a small chainsaw. She revved it up and immediately went to work on my horn. Having my horn cut off was perhaps the most excruciating pain and agonizing thing anypony could possibly go through; it was bone, after all. As she cut, it began to spark and shimmer with red magic, and dust began to spread everywhere.

When she finished, the horn clattered against the stone ground hard, and she picked it up. “Another one to my collection! After I hollow it, of course. I’ll be right back sweetie!”

I looked towards Rainbow Dash, to see if there was still any signs of life from her. “R-Rainbow…?”

No response.

“Rainbow Dash?”

Her eyes flickered open quickly and she weakly looked towards me.

So perhaps the story wasn’t entirely correct

“Y-Yeah…Earth?”

“Do you think…you think you could escape?”

She chuckled darkly and told me “Earth, heh…I’m not enti-irely sure you see the situation I’m in…I have no…no wings, I’m losing a lot of…hurk! Blood…I’m going to die here…”

She gently nudged her left hoof towards me.

“Mayb-be…there’s still hope for you…chains are weak…break them and…escape. Tell…ahh, everpony…” she muttered, before finally placing her head down.

Pinkie Pie came back, and she threw a glance at Rainbow Dash. She dropped her tools and trotted over to her. “Dashie? Hey, Dashie?”
No response.

“Oh well…better get another adrenaline shot.” She rummaged around in the pile of tools and extracted one rusty syringe with clear liquid in it. She injected the adrenaline straight into Rainbow’s heart, causing her to jump up back to life quickly. One of Rainbow’s eyes had been gouged out, while the other one had been dulled in color severely. She looked towards me quickly. “Earth! Remember what I told you! You can do it! Ear-!”

Pinkie quickly grabbed Rainbow Dash’s tongue and began to cut it off. “Tsk tsk! Remember what I told you? You talk too much, you get your tongue cut off!” As Pinkie went to work on Rainbow’s tongue, I took a look at my bonds. They were made of a rather frail rope. I struggled briefly. I heard a tear. I looked towards Rainbow who was silently taking her punishment. I knew if she kept quiet, Pinkie would undoubtedly hear the bonds ripping. I nodded towards Rainbow Dash, who looked back at me and nodded. She began to scream as loud as she could, kicking and hitting everything she could.

“Ah! Dashie why are you so violent all of a sudden?”

One arm was free…and with a little more effort the other one was as well. Within ten seconds flat I was free of the bonds. I put a hoof on Pinkie, blood still streaming out of my stomach.

“Hey…”

“Hmm?”

“Fuck you.”

I winded up, only to have Pinkie quickly dodge and end up behind me. She kicked my rear leg in, and turned me around. Her pupils had shrunk and her bright blue eyes glistened into my dull gold ones.

“Have I told you the rule yet?”

She pulled out a large cleaver.

“If you swear…”

She brought it down on my right hoof.

“…you lose a limb…”

I cried out in agony.

“…and if you scream…”

She sliced it across my chest, causing blood to erupt.

“…you get cut up!”

I looked towards Rainbow Dash. There was no doubt she was dead, this time; Pinkie had dug the scissors she was using for her tongue into her eye socket.

“And look! You made me kill Dashie! I wanted to have so much more fun with her…it’s only been five hours since I’ve been playing with her…but, you…” She drew me close, and brought the blade close to my testicles.

“You can entertain me for a loooong time.”

She hooked me back up, this time to metal bonds, and began to suck me off. I had already lost a decent amount of blood, and having some go to my erection didn’t help matters. Once it was nice and long, Pinkie stopped sucking.

No…please tell me she isn’t…No, NO NO NO NO!

She drew her arm back and sliced through my penis, chopping it clean off.

I couldn’t help myself but scream with expletives, causing Pinkie to lop off my leg and give me several cuts around my chest. I cried softly, knowing that I failed Rainbow Dash and everypony else who had been subjected to Pinkie’s torture.

I should have just ran...

She pulled out a large buzz saw and revved it up quickly.

“Hey, Earth? Why do they call it a buzzsaw?” She threw the buzzsaw carelessly behind her, causing it to land in Rainbow Dash and slice right through her dead body. She withdrew a canister of bees from out of nowhere. “Buzzing is what these bees do. And that’s a saw. I don’t get it.” She got a box and shook up the canister of bee’s good.

“What are you…going to do?”

She put the box around my groin and cut an opening into it. With one last final shake, she opened the canister and let loose the bees to attack what was left of my groin.

“NOOO!...Why…?! Argh…!!!” I sobbed.

“Playing with boys is so much more fun than with girls! There’s a lot more that you can do with them!” Pinkie said innocently.

“Y-You’re a bitch…” I muttered silently.

She went over to nearby furnace and extracted two hot nails. She put gloves on and sadistically looked at me. “I normally use four. One for each limb…but you only have two left! Oh well.” She lined up the shot and drove the nails straight through my arm and leg, going through the bone.

Pinkie’s voice was drowned out by the sound of my own heartbeat. It got to a point where that was the only thing I could hear.

Everything became a haze, but I still felt cuts and lashes being added to my body. I passed out.

Sometime Later...

I woke up to the sight of a pony who was calling out my name. It was Rarity.

“Earth…!? By Celestia, you’re still alive?!”

“Pinkie…crazy…” I chuckled, wondering how I looked. I could tell I still had both eyes.

“I know it’s Pinkie…” she said glumly, and I took note her mane was very rugged and her horn was gone. Curiously, however, she had no cuts; she must be quite the trooper.

I was about to tell her to escape when I noted the bonds were metal and not a frail rope.

Damn it…Rarity would have actually had a chance if I hadn’t tried to escape…I screwed it up…

I looked at her, into her worried filled eyes. I knew I needed to give her hope, even if it wasn’t true.

“I’m going to die here…heh, no dou-doubt about that…oh…but you, you still have a chance…” I then noted the rustiness around the shackles. “Yo-u’re bonds are…rusty…break out of them…and run…” I put my head down, knowing that Rarity wouldn’t escape. I then heard the sounds of metal breaking rapidly and when I looked up, Rarity was gone.

“By…By Celestia…she did i-“

I then heard a high pitch scream, a brief scuffle, and the sounds of something being dragged across the floor. Rarity was suddenly tossed directly in front of me, dead; her horn driven straight into her brain. I heard Pinkie’s laugh then, with her saying “…and if you try to escape, you DIE! Then, nopony has fun…” Pinkie emerged from the darkness and grinned evilly at me, cleaver at the ready. The final words of my life were, “I wonder if you taste any different than normal ponies!”

The blade grew closer.

And my vision turned black.

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Terror

“So…that goes…there, and this goes…here?” I asked Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah! That’s it!”

I lifted the heavy box into the carriage. “So, Rainbow, where’s all this stuff going to, exactly?” She smiled at me and pointed a hoof towards a facility in the distance. “Cloudsdale Weather Facility!” I shuddered at the name.

“What do you do there? Make rain and stuff happen?” I asked her.

“Of course! We also are responsible for the beautiful rainbows you see in the sky!” She said with a hint of coldness, as she drew her hoof across the horizon.

Why did she say it like that?

“Right…well it’s too bad I’m not a Pegasus. I coul-“

“What? You don’t need a Pegasus to work at the Weather Facility!”

“Wait, really? But I thought that only Pegasi were allowed in the Rainbow Fa-..err, I mean the Weather Facility.” Her jovial nature turned ice cold when I almost said ‘Rainbow Factory’. She flew a little closer and I noted the guards craned their heads backwards to look at me.

“What did you say?”

“Weather…Facility?”

“Before that…were you going to say ‘Rainbow Factory?’”

Let’s see…lying would get me in the same boat as in telling the truth. So let’s try lying.

“What? Me? Rainbow Factory? What is that, even? I mea-“

Rainbow Dash suddenly clapped her hooves together and the guards were over me in an instant. They packed me into one of the boxes and then I felt myself being lifted off the ground.

I was headed towards the Rainbow Factory.

Sometime Later...

“Oh…for bucks sake.”

I awoke in a large, circular white room. It would have appeared that I was the only one there. I sat up straight.

I only remember what happens in the Rainbow Factory; pegasi that fail their flight test get grinded up into Rainbows…but, what exactly do they plan to do with a fully grown-

“Welcome, vital participant, to the Cloudsdale Weather Facility Enrichment Program. You have chosen, or been chosen, to be a vital participant in our Rainbow Study Program. For today’s test, you will go through a painless procedure.” An intercom spoke, echoing throughout the room.

I breathed thankfully. “Ok…so this is pretty weird so far. I thought I was going to die, but I guess I just have to…work here for the rest of my life or something. Which means…well, I’m sure I’ll find a way back home.”

“…Is what we would have said, ten years ago. No, Earth, you will be dying today.” The voice over the intercom growing dark and cold.

I’ll find a way out of this.

Four heavily armored guards entered the door above me, and a red Pegasus entered as well.

“Welcome, Earth, to the Rainbow Factory. I’m-“

“Dr. Atmosphere.”

“By Tartarus, how do you know these things?”

I looked up, defiant. “I know everything that goes on here. I know everything that will go on here. How’s Scootaloo, by the way?”

“Wh-…How…?”

“Never mind that. What do you have planned for me? Other than death, that is.”

He ruffled his coat briefly before glancing back, his face becoming worried. “I’d better let the CEO explain this herself.”

He stepped aside briefly to be overshadowed by a pegasus wearing dark black mask and clothing, complete with a monochromatic rainbow mane.

“Now then, off to business; we've never really bothered trying to use a Spectra Machine on fully grown ponies...in fact we only use them on foal to teenaged ponies who are pegasi.”

“So…you’re telling me I’m the first fully grown pony AND a unicorn to go into that horribly named device of yours? Oh, and take off the cowl, please, Rainbow Dash, I can barely hear you.”

Rainbow ripped off her cowl and glared at me, staring straight through me. “Cut the shit, Earth!”

I shrugged. I had a strong feeling that I was going to die, so I figured I’d make my last few moments as painful as possible for everypony else in the room.

“You are the first, yes.” She resumed, “And especially for you, we’ll crank up the wattage's to make it as painful as possible!”

“H-Hey…Rainbow what did I ever do to you, exactly? What’s up with all the anger all of a sudden?”

She chuckled darkly and turned away. “It’s just business.”

The guards escorted her back while Atmosphere lagged back. He took a look back at me and adjusted his glasses before murmuring something and continuing.

Silence filled the room then, and for the next minute I could hear my own heart beating quickly.

Ha…Hahah…I’m going to die here. I…I just want to go home...

I collapsed.

Acting quirky isn’t going to help me get back home. My goal isn’t to die; that’s already happened once. There isn’t going to be any second chances.

I stood up and began yelling at the door hysterically.

“THERE ISN’T ANY SECOND CHANCES!”

I rushed up to the wall and looked up. A good twenty feet above me stood the balcony. I concentrated hard and attempted to teleport. I was within hooves reach...

And then I fell.

Putting all the concentration I could into my magic, I managed to teleport myself onto the balcony. I tried opening the door, to find it amusingly unlocked. No wonder those two foals could take down the entire facility; these ponies really don’t know how to secure a room. I took a few steps in the hallway when I suddenly remembered that…

…the only reason those two fillies could cause that much damage was because…was because ATMOSPHERE PLANNED-!

I fell through the floor, landing on a conveyor belt.

“Fuck, I fell into their trap.”I said, annoyed.

“You fell into our trap!” a voice crackled over the intercom.

I attempted to stand up, only to feel cold metal sliding over my hooves, gripping them uncomfortably tight.

“Ah, right. If the harnesses are a little tight, just remember these are meant for foals and not adults!” the voice crackled.
I struggled with the harnesses, and I looked directly in front of me to be greeted by some sort of black box with faint multicolored lasers beaming inside it. When I entered the box, an intense heat was suddenly blasted and I felt woozy. I collapsed forward, blacking out.

Sometime Later...

“Hey…I recognize you.”

“Wha-“

I shook my head, shaking away the dizziness. I tried to feel around in the darkness only to discover my hooves bound in metal.

“Who’s talking?”

“Hey! Who’s that?”

“That’s me, doofus“

“No, who’s the new guy?”

“Oh. I dunno. The orange one says she recognizes him though.”

The orange one?

“Scootaloo?” I called out timidly.

I heard a cough, then a sudden sharp intake of breath. “Wait a second, h-he’s an adult! He isn’t like us!”

My eyes slowly began to adjust and I could make out the form of a white pony at least two feet in front of me.

“What did you do, mister?”

“Yeah, how’d you get here? Wait…this must be a mistake!”

“No, no! It’s a trap! They’re trying to figure out our plans!”

I tried to shut out all the voices, but they were too shrill and annoying for me to do so. I just needed to think. My eyes adjusted even more and I could make out a red pony next to the left of the white one, and a green pony to its right. I could make out the white pony’s faint blue eyes.

“Where’s Scootaloo?” I asked them.

“Woah there boss, we ain’t telling you nothing!” an orange pony spoke up beside me.

“Easy there, Don, I think he’s one of us.” The white pony across from me spoke.

“Yeah, right. So was that light blue pegasus who came in here before. Next thing we know, she dragged off my…my little brother and…and she…” he lost his “tough guy” act and was silent.

I shook my bonds a little bit.

They feel weak.

I shook harder and heard a crack. It drew the attention of “Don” and the green pony.

“Hey there bub, what do you think you’re doin?”

I pulled hard against the chains one last time and broke free, much to the surprise of the nearby ponies. The red one began to holler, so I unfortunately had to give him a swift hoof to the chest to shut him up.

“Why’d you do that for?!” the white one said, harshly whispering to me.

“See?! I told you, he was just a spy!” The red one managed to say, painfully.

“By Celestia, SHUT UP!” I yelled; the sudden outburst made them all go quiet. “I’m like you, a prisoner. I don’t know why I’m here. I need to find Scootaloo. Does anypony know where she is?”

None of the prisoners spoke, and a cough was emitted to my left. I followed the sound only to find Scootaloo badly injured.

I-I can prevent Scootaloo from being imprisoned. I can stop it.

“Sc-Scootaloo?” I asked, fearing for her life; funny, considering I had only known her for a few brief hours, I somehow felt the dire need to save her.

“Y-You…got your cutie mark yet?” she chuckled lightly.

“Where are we?”

“The Main Theater Room.”

The name echoed throughout my head.

This is the room where all the ponies get rounded up to die. This is the room where Scootaloo has to spend over ten years locked up.
I knew we had to escape.

“I’ll be back” I whispered to her. I cantered back to the other ponies and broke them free. “You all need to find a way to escape.”
“Yeah boss, like we know where we’re going. We were blindfolded. We don’t know our lefts from our rights in this place.” Don spoke.

I picked up Scootaloo and turned to face the group of escapees. I shifted Scootaloo and asked her if she knew a way out.

“The way out…yes…I was, so close…”

“Alright then, let’s…! Oh…no!”

The escapees turned to face me, some worried, while others were annoyed. I slumped slightly.

“I don’t have any wings…” I murmured, seeing the other ponies spread theirs.

“Listen, you need to take Scootaloo. I’ll stay back and provide the distraction.” I handed Scootaloo off to the other ponies, and told them to tell everypony what these bastards did here. Once they were off, I trailed behind slightly, entering a Spectra Research room. When I entered, I found two scientists with their backs turned to me. I fired a bolt at them, exploding the vial that was in-between them.

“Sweet Celestia!”

“What the buck!?”

They turned to face me, with wings spread.

“Ah! Is that a…unicorn?! How’d he…!?”

“I don’t know, but we need to get out of here and warn the oth-!”

I fired a bolt at the left one, my bolt going clean through his jaw. The other one hit an Emergency Button planted on a nearby wall. I was too slow. The alarm filled my ears with unpleasant beeping and I heard Rainbow Dash’s voice over the intercom.

“FIND THOSE FAILURES…AND KILL THEM ALL.” She screamed into the mike.

I ran back into the Main Theater room and saw a small orange form slumped on the wall.

Those buck…Those fucking dicks! They didn't take her!

I ran down to Scootaloo, and picked her up. Once she was relatively secured, I began to search the floors for a grate; I found one. When I entered it, I was in the Maintenance Tunnels. I didn't know which way to go, so I just ran forward. Eventually, I came to a grate that would allow me to drop into the room below me. I was just about to do so when I heard a shrill voice, and saw guards zoom past the grate. I then heard scuffling, and saw the guards dragging the white pony across the ground. Tired of his struggling, one of the guards withdrew a baton and brutally murdered the white pony, spreading his brains across the wall.

“Oh…Oh my god…” I whispered, drawing my hooves up to my mouth.

“How do you like that you dumb bitch?!”

“This is what you get for trying to escape you pathetic bucking failure!” both the guards screamed at the now dead body of the white pony.

“Come on…let’s get this failure to Disposal.”

“Yeah…it’s gonna be hilarious when we hear the story on a white pony falling into Ponyville’s Local Water supply again!”

Disposal…? Local Water Supply? Maybe…Maybe that’s a way out?

I decided to follow the guards stealthily through the maintenance tunnels. When they reached Disposal, I saw them open a hatch and rather carelessly toss the deceased body out. Through the hatch was a great blue patch of water, surrounded by land.

The fall might kill me…but it’s worth the risk.

To get into the room itself, I had to backtrack the maintenance tunnels and exit. The only way into disposal was through the main doors. When I reached the hallway, I noted two guards patrolling the entrance.

Just my luck! Wait…maybe I could fool them? I’m not a foal…perhaps I could make up an excuse?

I debated my options, and suddenly heard the sounds of talking coming from behind me. There wasn’t anywhere I could hide; the entrance to the tunnels was a ways back. The only way was to push forward. I took a deep breath and emerged from hiding. I calmly trotted pass the two guards, who simply flickered their eyes in my direction. I entered the door and was in Disposal.

Good. They must’ve thought I was going to get rid of Scootaloo here.

I tapped her gently with my hoof, and she murmured lightly in response. I then heard voices intensifying behind me. Feeling a bad omen, I blockaded the door with a heavy metal cabinet; no sooner after I finished pushing did the door suddenly begin to throb with a heavy force. I struggled desperately to wake up Scootaloo, but to no avail. If I couldn’t survive the fall, then there was no chance she could either. I didn’t want to leave her behind, but I knew I should. I took note of a dark corner where she likely wouldn’t be seen. Assuming she was curious, she would wake up and explore the hatch, leading to her escape. The shouting behind the doors suddenly erupted into an ominous scream and the banging increased. I put Scootaloo gently down and she opened her eyes briefly.

“…What are you going to do?”

“When I’m gone, go through that hatch.” I pointed behind me. “It’s a long drop. You can use your wings to slow yourself down.”

“Can…hardly use wings.”

“You won’t need too. Just flap. Find a way to slow yourself down.”

I patted her on the head gently, “Good luck, squirt.” I told her.

I opened the hatch, and looked at the door. The metal cabinet was knocked over and I had just enough time before I fell to see the angry looking cyan pegasus watch me fall. I turned to face earthward, and watched as the water grew larger.

Those fucks…this whole thing will be televised. Everypony’s gonna know about this.

I felt hooves being wrapped around my stomach and turned to see Rainbow Dash.

I powered up my horn, but Rainbow Dash’s punch was quicker. I powered it up again, only to be hit in the face again. I struggled to move, only to notice guards surrounding me.

Scootaloo still has a chance…

I looked around to see if there was any hope Scootaloo escaped. For a brief second, I thought I saw an orange flash. I hoped what I had seen was actually her.

“Rainbow Dash?”

She simply glared at me with her bloodshot eyes in response.

“Go ‘buck’ yourself.”

She growled at me then winded up, knocking me out.

Sometime Later...

It was time.

When I awoke, I was bound by metal to a conveyor belt, and my horn had been sawn off. Luckily, I hadn’t been awake to witness that; it must be extremely painful. It is bone, after all. I struggled to move, but found myself unable too. The Pegasus Device grew larger.

“I sincerely hope this thing fucking blows up and drags all you bastards to hell!” I yelled, only to be met with odd looks.

Ugh, I’ve gotta translate that.

“I sincerely hope this thing bucking blows up and drags all you bastards to Tartarus!” I yelled, causing them to glare angrily at me. I felt compelled to look to my left and saw Atmosphere standing there, with a malicious grin on his face. He withdrew something from his pocket and waved it at me. It almost looked like a scanner device of some sort, and the screen indicated a small orange blip on it.

The blip was moving.

He then flipped a switch and I suddenly saw what seemed to be a mobile camera moving through the hallway. The camera looked down to show two little orange hooves.

N-No! That bastard had a tracker!? Scootaloo…did she even get a chance?

He realized that I had it all figured out, as he simply placed his tracker away and waved his hoof at me, disappearing into the shadows. I looked in front of me and was greeted by a plethora of sharp syringes and lasers.

For the last ten minutes of my life, I writhed as I was surgically cut, injected with various muscle disablers, and the remainder of my horn removed. When I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I was then dipped in a toxic liquid which slowly burned away my skin. When it got to my neck, I looked out of The Pegasus Device. There, stood Scootaloo and Dr. Atmosphere, a short distance away from Rainbow Dash.

She had no clue.

No clue her “sister” was actually alive.

But, she’d pay for that later.

That was my only thought as I was finally fully submerged in the liquid; Rainbow Dash would get her just desserts eventually…
…A beautiful rainbow briefly filled my vision before everything turned black;

The Device worked.

Chapter Thirty: Fear

“Haha! I’m home! Finally I’m home!” I pranced around my house, hugging the cushions, kissing my rug. I fell back against my bed, feeling around. I exhaled and closed my eyes. “Boy, wait til’ my friends hear this one! ‘Trapped in a world full of ponies!’ It’ll probably be one of those stories I’ll rant about when I’m drunk.” I reached around in my pocket, pulling out Pinkie Pie. I tapped her on the muzzle. “…And I’ve even got you, somehow, here too! This is just perfect!” I hugged her and she hugged back.

“Wow, Earth, this is where you live? Cooooooool!”

“Yeah but…” I said, my voice trailing off. I looked at a nearby wall. The paint was melting. “Ew.” I uttered. I looked at Pinkie Pie, who had adopted a “zalgo” coloration, complete with black liquid pouring out from her eyes. Her crimson pupils fixated on me and she reached towards me.

“WAKE UP.”

“BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAA-“ I screamed, my hooves flailing rapidly.

“Sssshhh! Sshh! Be quiet!” Spike moved his finger towards my mouth.

“Wh-What’s going on?” I asked, apparently waking up from the nightmare I was having.

“I couldn't leave you in there with Twilight, so I dragged you out. You’re welcome, by the way.”

I twitched suddenly, most likely a result of the spell she used on me. “What happened in there? There was a flash that rang throughout Ponyville and half of Equestria!”

“Let’s just say Twilight used a spell that could enhance orgasm.”

“Th-That’s gross.”

“Felt pretty awesome…”

He shook his head rapidly. “I don’t care…look, my train is leaving soon. I’ll catch you around, Earth!” he waved cheerfully as he walked away.

I don’t want to hurt Twilight’s feelings though…I don’t want her to think it was a one night stand. I should go back

I trotted back to Twilight, taking care not to wake up any of Ponyville’s denizens. I passed by Fluttershy’s house, when I heard a yelp. Thinking she was hurt, I went over to her door and was about to knock when I heard Fluttershy’s voice, and then another yelp, louder and sounding more agonized than before. I checked her window to see nothing. I noticed a strange light coming from around my hooves and noted a window. I got on my stomach and peeked in the window.

“Ooh…Rarity I bet you’d make your momma proud!”

“Fl-Fluttershy whatever has gotten into you?!”

Oh, they’re just having sex. It’s…strangely…erotic…err…

I sat and watched, as Fluttershy performed incredibly acrobatic poses. I felt myself almost in a trance, wanting to see more. I could see Rarity was afflicted by the same feeling as I, as her mouth dropped slightly and her iris’ grew large. Without warning, Fluttershy instantly kicked in one of Rarity’s eyes into its socket. Rarity didn’t move nor say anything. Fluttershy kicked in the other eye, causing it to implode and blood to go everywhere.

I shook out of it upon the horrifying sight. Fluttershy grabbed a hold of Rarity’s jaw and upper mouth and began to pull them in separate directions, hard. Within a few moments, Rarity’s jaw snapped, and Fluttershy moved onto her legs. She pulled them apart, and I heard a slight snap. Fluttershy then sat and stared at Rarity, who was seemingly immune to everything that had just happened. I saw Fluttershy’s head bob momentarily and in a blink of an eye, Rarity was attempting to scream her head off, but couldn’t. I heard her trying to blubber out where she was, when she was suddenly still and stopped speaking. Rarity directed her head towards me.

How the buck does she see me?

When I noticed Fluttershy slowly starting to crane her head backwards, I realized I had to NOPE the fuck out of there. I cantered all the way back to the Café, and I triple-locked the door when I entered. I barricaded my door and my window when I got into my room, and left the light on.

I didn't go to sleep the entire night.

The next morning...

I heard knocks at my door and Pinkie pleading with me to let her in. After removing the barricades, I slowly opened my door to see Pinkie standing outside my door…along with Fluttershy. I slammed my door hard. “S-Sorry! I’m just…naked! And I have to have a meeting with Rarity today! That’s all!”

I heard Pinkie Pie ask what being naked meant.

She knocked again.

“I’m…really sore…”

“Then let me help you, silly, you know how good I am at making you feel better!”

I shuddered, thinking of how lewd that sounded and couldn't believe she said that in front of Fluttershy. I exhaled and slowly opened the door. Fluttershy was gone. “Hey…where’s Fluttershy?” I whispered to Pinkie. She looked confused upon the question.

“Fluttershy…? I dunno, probably at her house.”

“Wasn’t she just here?”

“Nope! Just me.”

Must’ve been a hallucination…ow.

I reached towards my side and clutched it.

I can’t believe how fast I ran last night…even after all that hard work.

“Pinkie, do you have an ice pack or something I could put on this?”

“What’s an ice pack?”

Figuring I could better Ponyville’s medical routines a little better, I taught her how to make an ice pack.

“…and…there ya go!”

“Wow that does feel nice! But why don’t you just heal yourself? Unicorns can do that…but you already know that!”

I stared dumbfounded at her.

Isn't that against the rules or something? That seems a bit too overpowered, there has to be some sort of downside.

“Is there some sort of downside?”

“Well, duh, it takes a lot of magic.”

Thanking her, I retreated up to my room to mend my bruises and sores I sustained from yesterday. With much concentration, it worked. I felt incredible. I ran down back to Pinkie, asking her what she had originally wanted in the morning. “Oh, yeah! It actually had to do with Fluttershy. She said she wanted to see you! Tonight! Are you guys having a party or something?! Oh, can I come? Please?”

Oh buck it, I’ll just go now. I won’t give her the satisfaction of her way.

“I need to meet with Rarity first.” I told Pinkie.

“Okie dokey lokie!”

I went on my way to Rarity’s Boutique; unsurprisingly, it was locked. Remembering that Sweetie Belle was gone too, I realized I had no legitimate way of getting inside. I sneaked around back and found a slightly ajar window; dried blood stained the edges of the window, while the darkness resonated inside.

So I opened the window and went in.

. . . .

I exited the building the same way I came in. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything that could link Fluttershy to Rarity, as there were no signs of any struggle or off in the house. It would've seemed that Rarity was close to the window when Fluttershy abducted her. I went back to the Café to warn Pinkie, only to find a crowd. I pushed through them, moving to the door which was oddly locked.

Even Mr. Cake and Mrs. Cake are gone?

I turned to face the crowd, who instantly recognized me.

“Hey, you’re that Unicorn, Earth!”

“Earth!”

“Hey there!”

I cleared my throat, asking the crowd, “Does anypony know what’s going on here?”

They all shook their heads in the negative.

“Did anypony see where Pinkie, Mr. and Mrs. Cake went?” Again, they all shook their heads. One foal piped up

“Yeah, I saw that Fluttershy walk to her home with them!” Upon the mentioning of Fluttershy, the townsponys looked worry-free. I could tell that they were all initially worried about them, and knew they should still be.

“Look, I’m going to go over there. If I’m not back, search Fluttershy’s house. I have a feeling she might be doing something evil.”

The townsponys simply stared at me incredulously.

“How could you ever say Fluttershy is evil?”

“I didn't think you were that kind of stallion, Earth! To pick on innocent mares like that!”

“Forget you, man.”

They all dispersed, apparently hurt by my remark.

Great. Looks like I’m on my own.

I ran towards Fluttershy’s house, passing Rainbow Dash on the way there.

“Rainbow! Look, I think Pinkie and her…guardians there, went on vacation, would you mind if I crash at your house for a few days?”

She looked towards me and nodded cheerfully.

“Sure thing Earth, but where-?”

“Sorry, don’t have time to talk bye!”

Man, I sound like Pinkie Pie.

I ran full speed to Fluttershy’s house. She did have a head start, but with a little luck maybe I could intercept Pinkie and save her. When I got there, I saw the four of them standing outside the door.

Good, they don’t notice me. I suppose I should act tired.

“Woo…Oh geez…hey guys…ha…” I started, acting as if I had been chasing them all along. “I was, uh…whoo…calling you guys…how could you not hear me?” Fluttershy slowly turned around, smiling. “Oh, I’m sorry Earth, I was having these guys for dinner tonight, and was trying my hardest to make sure they didn't get lost.”

Pull the old one-two trick right off the bat I see.

“Lovely, look…I need to borrow Pinkie for a few minutes, she owes me a…she owes me something.” Fluttershy looked around, before closing her eyes. An ominous black aura began to slowly fade in around her. “Or, uh, or not. Either one’s good with me.” I shakily said, starting to back up.

She opened her eyes, which had adopted a pale look. She stamped her hoof on the ground and the other three turned around, their eyes already gouged out.

N-No…

“Would you still like to borrow her?” Fluttershy taunted, the smell of rotting flesh suddenly becoming unbearably strong.

“What have you done to them?”

“Every day I have to live with them taunting me, hating me. What do I show them in turn? Kindness. That’s all I ever show anypony. But ponies take that for granted…and they walk all over me!” Fluttershy yelled, her voice lowering an octave or two.

“Wait, why don’t you just take those assertive lessons agai-“

“Oh, those ‘lessons’ helped. And what did I turn into? A bully! What I wanted to be all along. But nooooo I’m the Element of Kindness, I don’t get to have a little fun, so I had to drop the act. But I…But I really love this feeling I have. This anger…this darkness.” Fluttershy said, surprising me completely by her change of heart.

“Wh-What do you plan on doing? Surely you know the other ponies are going to start to notice other’s missing.”

“Really? Have you noticed Twilight is gone yet? I grabbed her and Rarity last night…oh they were so much fun. How they screamed for mercy, how they begged for me to stop…and then finally, how they begged me to kill them.”

“You may have a point there,” I said, shuddering to how close I may have been to getting abducted too, “But everypony knows the Cake family and Pinkie are missing! In fact, they know that they’re with you!”

She raised a hoof, taken aback. “Then it looks like all of Ponyville will suffer. All of Equestria will, if need be. And without the Elements of Harmony to stop me… nopony will be able to stop me.”

Thinking how this was all turning into a really bad situation, I sparked my horn. Fluttershy had gone over the deep end, that’s for sure. If her pale eyes and the three eyeless ponies behind her didn't prove that, I didn't know what would. “Oh, you’re going to fight me?” she asked innocently. She stamped her hoof on the ground and within an instant the two Cakes’ dropped, dead. Pinkie remained standing.

“Don’t…Don’t you lay a fucking hoof on her you monster!”

She crept around her, putting a hoof around her shoulder. Pinkie’s face suddenly frowned, and I could see tears erupting from her once full eyes.

“I…Don’t…You!” I managed to choke out. I ran my hoof through the dirt, preparing to charge.

“Ah ah ah! Don’t move Earth, or she…well, you know. Dies.”

Pinkie had seemingly regained ability to move and talk, because she was now flailing and screaming for help. Fluttershy, disgusted with her old friend, held her head steady while she punched her mouth. Blood began to trickle out of her mouth.

“You bitch!” I yelled, firing off a bolt at Fluttershy.

She quickly dodged. “Well, you didn't move. So I’ll give you that. I warn you, though. You’d better not fire off another one.”

I didn't listen, and fired off one. Instead of dodging, Fluttershy directed Pinkie in front of it. It impacted, and Pinkie squealed in pain. She began to cry even harder, and Fluttershy put her ear close to her mouth.

“Oh…is that so? Really? Uh-huh…Earth, Pinkie’s wondering why you shot her. She says you two had something.”

Pinkie Pie rapidly shook her head, and Fluttershy, tired of the struggling, quickly snapped her neck.

“No!”

A shrill voice suddenly cried out behind me, “Fluttershy?! What the- what the buck?!”

“Hm?”

Fluttershy and I, both surprised, turned out heads toward its direction.

It was Rainbow Dash.

“Fluttershy, wh-what are you doing?!”

“Fluttershy…she killed Pinkie.” I muttered, falling to the ground, a broken stallion. “And she killed Twilight…and Rarity…who knows how many more she’ll kill.” The sound of a loud crack focused me back in on reality, and I saw Fluttershy tearing off Rainbow’s wings and disabling her legs. Rainbow Dash was in tears.

“Fluttershy, stop! Pl-Please, I’ll make sure nopony ever treats you bad again!” Rainbow pleaded with her. Fluttershy responded by gouging out Rainbow Dash’s left eye and then pulling the now empty space apart, splitting her head in two.

“No! Stop killing ponies! Please!” I begged to Fluttershy. Perhaps somewhere deep within her resided the old one. Fluttershy directed her head towards me and stamped her hoof on the ground. Pinkie got back up, and Twilight and Rarity emerged from her house. The latter two had skin hanging off their bodies and parasprites crawling through their eyes. She grinned evilly at me. “There was a time where a please would have gotten me to see reason. But now…I just want to see Equestria burned.”

She went to Pinkie, who had apparently regained full consciousness and recovered from death, and punched her stomach. She doubled over, crying again.

“STOP!” I went to stop Fluttershy, but was restrained by Twilight and Rarity, whose parasprites began to jump around on my body. “D’awww. You care about her so much but lack the ability to stop me.” I tried to fire off a bolt, but found myself unable too, my horn simply fizzing.

Shit. Those ones I fired before and the healing spell must’ve had its toll. I just need to wait a few minutes before I can fire another one!
Fluttershy resumed her beating, even going so far as to tear off Pinkie’s tail.

“W-Why…please just stop…don’t do this!” I begged, crying hysterically.

“…I suppose you’re right. It is time to stop.” She threw Pinkie on the ground.

Pinkie reached out to me and managed to utter out, “Earth, please he-!” before Fluttershy caved in her skull with a rock.

“Isn’t that great? She called for help. You were her last light in the dark world and you let her die. You’re something else, Earth.” Fluttershy taunted.

She knew that she was breaking my spirit, and it was working. I felt useless. There was nothing I could do. Without warning, Fluttershy revived Pinkie Pie again, and beat her again.

“No…No!” I cried out, lowering my head down in shame. Pinkie Pie was below me and I could see tears streaming out of her face. She mouthed “I forgive you” before her organs erupted out of her mouth; Fluttershy had jumped on top of her stomach. That set me over the edge and I began to sob uncontrollably.

“Well, there’s no reviving from that, unfortunately. But it looks as if…” She lifted my head to face hers, and I could see my reflection in her eyes; my eyes were pale. “Ah good! Your spirit is broken. Now I can have fun with you!”

“Celestia…no, please just ki-…no just let me go.” I said. I still had a little hope. Fluttershy frowned, still staring into my eyes. Color had returned. Reinvigorated, I managed to send a small jolt at Fluttershy, shocking her and sending her backwards.
That’s all I have…

She roared, and flapped her wings hard. She came up to me, “It doesn't matter if your spirit is broken. I've always hated you. I can’t believe I had sex with you in the EverFree Forest. You and your small dick!”

All things considered, that was pretty unnecessary.

She threw her arm back, preparing to take out my eyes.

“Have fun in hell.” Fluttershy said, her eyes becoming pure black and leaking black fluid.

Wait…hell? That’s…?

She threw her hoof forward, the sky suddenly collapsing on itself and the ground turning to ash.

Time stopped.

The End.

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Deleted/Changed Scenes (Spoilers, obviously)

Author's Note

In this section there is a timeline that roughly outlines the events of the story, even going past the stories end, a few deleted scenes, and explaining some things that I changed in the story itself. EDIT 5/16/2017- After three years, and becoming more proficient in writing stories, I decided that the timeline is utterly useless as it implies a sequel but offers nothing else of value. So, I removed it.

Deleted/Changed Scenes (Spoilers, obviously)

Pinkie Pie Special Morning Party
I felt a sucking feeling on my penis when I woke up, only to see Pinkie. “Oh…come on…Oh sweet Celestia what in the hay are you doing?! I just woke up for crying out loud!” I didn’t bother to cover myself, but still felt a little violated that Pinkie decided to do this while I was asleep. “Eck…Oh…My…CELESTIA!” I said when I noticed the room. It was covered in cum. “How…How many times?” I inquired of Pinkie. She whispered ten times, and I suddenly felt very queasy.

Violence is Friendship
A hoof to the face, and as I staggered in pain I saw him abduct Sweetie Belle and Spike. “No!” I yelled, cantering after them. I deftly dodged obstructions and pony’s, and dove to him. I just about had him-

When three burly ponies stopped my advance. I slammed against another hoof, feeling blood coming out of my nose. I saw the four gallop off into the distance, and there was nothing I could do. I felt my horn spark as my anger grew. I fired off a bolt at the closest one and it blew his leg clean off.

Changed Scenes

Originally, in chapter eleven, the mural showed the Mane Six defeating Nightmare Moon.

Originally, in the re-written script for chapter ten, Discord was to have had sex with Celestia. Considering the fact that Earth has sex with her the next day, I decided to omit it.

In the original script for Chapter Ten, Discord was to have turned Earth into a Mare and then have sex with “her”, as can be seen implied above.

Earth was to have referenced the fact MLP was a show during the Everfree Forest chapter, to which Fluttershy remembers for the rest of the story. I found it hard on how to implement the fact Fluttershy now knew the truth about all the ponies’ life, so I omitted it.

Twilight’s chapter was originally to have been more heavily influenced by the game’s storyline, but was changed slightly to have a more original storyline. Spike wanting to escape Twilight was pulled from the game, as well as working at the Apple Family’s barn.

Originally, a terrorist group was to have caused planet Earth’s destruction

The three “Horror” chapters were to have been their own, special chapters, but I decided to tie them all up together to bring the story to its true conclusion.

Originally, Spike had sex with Sweetie Belle, but due to the obvious problem of underage material, the scene was changed. Spike used the map as a condom, which was changed to instead Earth burning it foolishly in the campfire.

Prologue

Prologue

Banned From Equestria

Section I: Brave New World

Prologue
Before I start this tale, I want you to be very sure of something; I never wanted this fate. During the years of the crazy “Brony” fad, I never bothered to hop on the bandwagon. Why would I? It was literally just a bunch of adult men liking a kid’s show. Of course, you may think, well that’s what it’s like with SpongeBob. However, where you’re wrong is the large scale that My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic encompasses. Thousands, maybe even close to a million, even, enjoyed this show.

I’m getting off topic.

What you need to know is that the year is 2018. The fandom has all but died. I will admit, fan works like the animated Rainbow Factory movie and even the Fallout: Equestria game were awesome. In a way, I’m kind of glad the fandom died, only because I managed to stay immune to the whole craze of it. I only watched about a couple episodes before Hasbro began to systematically block them, and then began to put prices on them. I wasn’t about to pay three dollars just to watch one episode.

But, now I’m here, trapped in this new world. “This world”, you ask? “What do you mean, this world?” Well, let me explain, and you’ll see.

Author's Note

I wrote this intro before I actually became a brony. Funny, really, that I was even writing this story at the time. It's one of the things that pushed me to become a brony.

Chapter Eighteen: Before The Party

I didn't get back to the Bakery until the sun had begun to rise. Pinkie waited for me inside, looking tired. Once she saw me, she brightened up. I still felt ashamed at what had happened yesterday. She got close to me and kissed me. “Guess what! Guess what! Come on guess!” I took a guess that we were having a party. “Yeah! How did you know!? We’re having a party for Princess Celestia today! It’s her birthday! And you’re invited, crazy huh? Like, does she even know you?! Hahaha, I’m only kidding. Everypony knows you by now!” Cheered up by her antics, I began to smile. “So, what did you do yesterday, where were you? You know…” she suddenly dropped the shenanigans and begun to speak in a low, seductive voice. “…I reaaally missed you and you’re…” she clutched my groin to compensate for the word.

I promised her that we could do it later on. “I’m really tired, Pinkie. I was doing…chores…at the Apple family’s barn, then I had to help Fluttershy retrieve something from Zecora.” She smiled and said “Okey dokey lokie! Wait, do you PINKIE promise we can do it later?”

“A Pinkie promise?”

“Yeah! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” she said, making motions with her hooves.

“Ok sure. Cross my heart…” I made a crossing motion over where I thought my heart was, “…hope to fly…” I said, sticking my hoof out like a wing. “…stick a cupcake in my eye!” I finished, poking my eye.

Pinkie laughed and said “Ok! Just don’t break it!”

I smiled at her, then went upstairs to get a few hours of shut eye.

Chapter Twenty-Seven: And The Truth Shall Set You Free

Section VI: Apocalypse

Blood.

Death.

Screaming.

This was Earth.

I remember now.

That day was the day the world ended. The planets core was unstable. It had been for the past few years. Anarchy was erupting worldwide; why should anyone follow the rules if the world was going to hell? I remember sitting there, waiting for either the psychotic murderers to find and kill me, or for the world to kill us all. I was never sleeping. I was never working. I was never doing anything. All I did was sit and wait. I left everything behind. I watched as my house was reduced to ash. I watched as everything I owned turned to nothing.

And all I did was sit, and watch everyone die. Everyone I loved being killed horribly.

And when I thought it was all over, a portal appeared from nowhere. It beckoned me inside. And I followed the call. I remember taking one last look at Earth…and suddenly the portal view collapsed on itself. It was at that time I knew;

It wasn’t a random supernova Twilight had detected four weeks ago. It was a planet full of life, full of “aliens” to her. It was Earth.

For me, there was no “home”.

For me, there was no planet to call my own.

My species was extinct.

Author's Note

Personally, I think this is one unexpected story twist.

Epilogue

Epilogue

I got off Trixie slowly. No words needed to be spoken between either of us. She knew I remembered everything by the look on my face. She slowly sulked away, as I stood there in silence. I slowly trotted back to Ponyville, which was unusually quiet. I opened the door to the Café and was greeted by Pinkie Pie, but once she saw me and my emotional state, she shrunk back and sadly looked after me. I walked to my room and took a look around.

“I don’t belong here.” I said glumly, holding back tears.

I packed some things and went back downstairs. I met Pinkie’s worried gaze with my own.

“I’m sorry, Pinkie.”

“Wait, Earth! What’s going on?! Earth…?”

I took one look at her, and left. As I was trotting throughout Ponyville, the denizens greeted me cheerfully.

I didn’t say anything.

I passed by Rarity, who was desperately looking for Sweetie Belle.

I passed by Twilight, who was shouting for Spike.

I passed by Fluttershy, who was unsuccessfully trying to woo a stallion.

I passed by Rainbow Dash, who’s belly seemed rather portly.

I passed by Applejack, who was being given a hard time by her little sister.

Pinkie Pie tried to keep up with me, to get me to say something, anything…but I couldn't. She eventually stopped trailing me, watching me ascend a hill. I took one last look at Ponyville. My place wasn't here anymore. I didn't know where to go. I could never go back home. I could never go back to Earth. I suddenly remembered my cutie mark and looked at the planet adorning my leg.

“…But I’ll always have the memory, because it’s my namesake. My namesake is my planet. The one I’ll never get to have again…” I said, choking up. I turned away, looking at the vast expanse of land in front of me.

“One day, I’ll return. Until then…” I took out the large hat I bought from Rarity and left it on a nearby post. “…Goodbye.”

Post-Word

So now you have it. That is my story. My comedic tale of love, lust, and sex, and the more tragic truth. It’s hard, really, knowing you can never go home. On some days, I find traveling hard… I have to accept the fact that Equestria is my new home now. And as time goes on, I’m accepting that fact more and more. Memories of my life on Earth slowly begin to fade away. And some days, my thoughts drift back to Ponyville. Pinkie… Applejack…the others…traveling Equestria is fun and all, but I belong in Ponyville.

With my friends.

I think it’s time to go back. With Earth gone, I only have the memory to hold onto. I think that…I think that maybe it’s time to let everyone know my tale.

I think I need to tell them the truth.

It’s time.