Ponies Versus Holes

*POMF*

"Can you not?"

*POMF*

"I'm asking nicely, ma'am please refrain from jumping on the bed."

"You can't tell me what to do!"

*POMF*

"Ma'am, if you don't stop I'm gonna have to call security."

If there was one thing that angered nurse Eyevee beyond the point of no return, it was having to deal with small fillies and colts. More specifically those who liked to break rules because it made them "cool" in their own eyes.

*POMF*

She brushed her alabaster hoof through her wavy jet black mane and pulled out a type B2 pencil, then proceeded to pull out a clipboard from hammerspace to add this little earth pony who thought that jumping on a bed while hospitalized for serious overweight was a good idea to her shit list.

*POMF*

"Alright ma'am, if you're not going to stop I'm just gonna go ahead and ca-"

*CREEEAK*

*CRACK*

*CRACK*

...Nevermind...

"Oh my Celestia! Somepony get a doctor!"

Eyevee looked down at the newly made hole on the floor with disbelief in her eyes.

"What." She stated flatly.

That was the moment that nurse Redheart chose to enter the room

"Hey Eyevee, I just came by to drop these charts and-oh dear sweet sun above what happened?!"

Eyevee turned around with a look that spelled both "I'm gonna die if I don't kill this filly." and "I'm gonna die if I don't laugh at this filly."

"This overweight little earth pony thought it'd be a good idea to jump on the bed. It ended poorly."

"Really? Is she okay?" Asked Redheart.

"Nope." Responded Eyevee.

"Aren't you gonna do something about it?" Inquired Redheart.

"Nope." She answered while still looking down the hole.

-2 HOURS LATER-

"Alright, let's see, this one may or may not be one... this one is definetely one. Not really sure about this one..."

*PLOP*

The sudden sound made Eyevee accidentally click on the one box she was sure was a mine, and sure enough, it was.

"AW COME ON! I WAS SO CLOSE!"

She begrudgingly hit the big "X" on the upper right corner of the Minesweeper window and closed her laptop.

"What's going on now?" She grumbled to herself.

She opened her dormroom door to find Derpy Hooves's snout having a lovely meeting with the floor.

"You okay there derpy?" Asked Eyevee as she watched Derpy pick herself up and dust herself off.

"Huh? Dont'cha worry about silly ol' me Eyevee, I'm fine!" She answered with a smile. That kind of smile that can fix the worst of days.

Eyevee looked up at the ceiling to see the same hole she saw two hours ago.

"You really ought to get your left eye fixed." She said. "Look at what happened because of it."

"Oh no, this wasn't my eye's fault." She said, holding her smile in place. "It was mine, I should've seen the hole on the floor, I just wasn't smart enough to see it."

"Oh no." Started Eyevee. "Don't you dare blame yourself, this happened because of your bad eyesight, not because of some non-existent intelligence deficit."

In that very moment, nurse Redheart fell down from the ceiling with a loud 'thwack!'.

"That, on the other hoof, did." Said Eyevee.

Nurse Redheart picked herself up and held her back with her hoof.

"Whoops. I guess I should've been looking where I was walking."

"Yeah, you should've!" Snarkily replied Eyevee. "What the hell Redheart? You saw the hole before! You knew where it was!"

"I know! I just kind of... didn't notice it!" She answered back.

They had a bit of a staring contest for the following six seconds.

"Eh, whatever." Eyevee broke the silence. "Our shift's right about done, wanna go get something from the caffeteria?"

"Sure, wanna come along Derpy?"

"Gladly!"

-15 MINUTES LATER-

Derpy, Eyevee and Redheart sat down on one of the many benches inside the hospital, each one with a different snack at hoof.

"So, what's going on in the hospital recently?" Asked Derpy.

"Discord was hospitalized recently." Redheart started. "Apparently he's come down with a case of Blue Flu. The doctors are worried that the slightest disturbance done to his body in his current state could have serious repercussions on him and everything around him, so they've isolated him in a special room somewhere in the hospital which only his assigned nurse and doctor can go into."

"Ouch." Said Eyevee. "That's gotta be boring as all hell!"

"It's for the better good, I'm sure." Replied Redheart.

Eyevee took a bite out of her sunflower and oats sandwich, right before a loud noise was heard, coupled with the falling body of one rainbow-maned pegasus.

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings a little bit and got back on her hooves.

"Oh, hi girls." She said like nothing happened. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Redheart blurted out. "You just fell through the ceiling and landed on the floor in a position that I don't honestly think is healthy for any part of your body, and you ask us "What's up?" ?!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Replied the tomboyish pegasus.

Eyevee quizzically raised her eyebrow.

"Alright, this is getting weird, the hell is going on?" She asked.

The very moment after she said that, a third hole opened itself directly above Derpy. A brawny red stallion with a blonde mane fell through it and bonked Derpy in the head on his way down.

After three or four seconds of pawing the back of her head with her hoof, Derpy opened her eyes to find that her eysight had been cured.

"I can see straight! I CAN SEE STRAIHGT!"

Another stallion, this time a light blue one with a dark blue mane fell down from the same hole and hit Derpy in the head once again.

"Oh, no, wait, back to cross-eyed." She stated dissapointedly.

"Alright, let's get the fuck out of here." Stated Eyevee bluntly while standing up and dragging Redheart and Derpy with her.

As they ran accross the hospital towards the main exit, another pony unvoluntarily forced her way through the ceiling and onto right in front of the exit.

"We can always take the emergency exit!" Sugested Redheart.

The trio ran their way through many halls, wherein ponies fell from every conceivable point of the ceiling. Swerving left and right, they eventually made it to a very long hallway, at the end of it was Redheart's dormroom.

"Wait!" She yelled. "I have some very important documents in my dormroom!" And then she ran off into the hallway.

"REDHEART NO!" Shouted both Eyevee and Derpy.

At that moment, at the very end of the hallway, yet another hole opened up, but from this one fell no ponies, but a draconequus strapped to a plastic baggie full of IV liquid. Time slowed down as Discord plummeted to the ground, and when he finally made contact, everything went white.

-10 MINUTES LATER-

Eyevee, Derpy and Redheart sat on their haunches outside of town. Eyevee and Derpy were staring at the remains of what used to be Ponyville Hospital, while Redheart had her snout planted into the ground.

"It could've been worse, you know." Added Eyevee.

"How?" Asked Derpy.

"It could've been the half with my dormroom on it that was blown up."

"I hate you." Replied Redheart.