Spike the Jerk

by Jason Brony

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Spike, Adventure, Alternate Universe
Length: 1386

Spike is being a jerk.

Spike doesn't seem to get along with anypony. It would be more bearable for him if they actually noticed his dislike for them.

Something I've been thinking about doing. This story will be an alternate universe of the main storyline, but with spike being a jerk.

Published 2014-09-30 14:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-30 14:00:03 UTC

"You know, she was right to hate everypony."

Spike the Jerk
(Mare In The Moon pt.1)

"Hi Spike! I'm Twilight's friend Moon Dancer, and I have a gift for her!" She announced with a smile.

Spike was really getting sick of this. He had been given a gift from some piss-yellow pony named Moon Prancer, or something along those lines. She told him it was intended for Twilight. He took the gift and mumbled an small 'thanks' before slamming the door in her face.

With an audible sigh, he threw the small red box laced with a yellow ribbon and threw it on a small table they had beside the door. He took a peek out of a large window and saw the yellow mare prancing away to join with a couple more uninteresting mares. He shot them an angry glare, knowing that they wouldn't notice it and hopped back up onto his couch.

With another sigh of comfort, he closed his eyes and leaned his back against the soft cushion of the expensive couch. That was one good perk to living with Princess Celestia's 'prized student'. He didn't have to do anything around the house except for some tedious chores. He told Twilight multiple times that personal book shelves didn't need to be cleaned every damn day, but she would giggle and tell him that the work was good for him.

His thoughts seemed to bring him out of his peaceful state, he opened his eyes to see a familiar mare speaking to a three other mares. One of the mares appeared to be the yellow one that gave him the gift. The purple mare gave the rest of them a sheepish smile before sprinting away from them, in the direction of their home.

Spike gave yet another sigh of annoyance before getting up from his comfy couch and grabbing the red package. He slowly walked downstairs and walked over the the bright-blue doors. As he approached the door, he heard the obvious sound of hooves on stone.
They were approaching very quickly, maybe a little bit too quickly...

"Oh sh-" he managed to say before he was hit by what seemed like a very fast train. The force of it even knocked him back a few hooves.

"Spike? Spiiiiike?!" Twilight Sparkle asked while looking around the room for her Number One Assistant. She looked down and gave a curious expression at the downed drake. "Spike? There you are!" She ran past the small dragon and sprinted upstairs to a large collection of books.

Spike slowly picked himself up from the polished floor and placed a claw on his forehead, rubbing the aching spot and following the mare up the stairs.

"Quick! Find me that old copy of predictions and prophecies." She asked him as he came up the stairs.

"Damn it Twilight, you're lucky you didn't break my nose!" The drake said before casting her his trademark angry glare.

"Don't be silly, Spike. Dragons have naturally strong bones. It would take a lot more than a door to break one of your bones. Now help me find that book!"

Spike gave a defeated sigh. Straight over her head. Grumbling to himself, he became aware of some added weight on his tail.
Moving it into his line of sight, he saw the small red package. Somehow it managed to pierce itself through both ends of the fragile box.

"What's that for?" Twilight asked.

He turned his tail around and pulled it off of his tail, then presented it to her. "It was a gift from one of your stupid friends. Moon Smasher or whatever." He held it in front of him, and a small stuffed bear fell onto the floor.

"Spike, you know we don't have time for those things." Twilight stated.

Spike gave himself an assured sigh. At least he won't have to go out with Twilight to some party with a bunch of sugar-filled mares. He picked up one of the many ladders and began looking for the book she mentioned. He heard Twilight from down below searching as well.

As he got to a certain row on the book shelf, he noticed a particularly wide book in the shelf. He pulled it out and gave the title a quick read. 'Predictions and Prohpecies' it read. He was about to tell Twilight, but she beat him too it.

"Spike!" Twilight yelled.

"It's right here!" he answered. "Calm down you lunatic..." he mumbled at the end.

Twilight focused her magic on the book in Spike's claw before pulling the book, along with Spike down to the floor of the study. She looked over the cover of the book before giving it a satisfied 'Ah!'. The remaining books she had in her violet aura fell to the ground. Spike gave them and annoyed sigh before picking them up.

While Twilight began reading the book, Spike had started placing the books back in their respective places. He was barely listening to Twilight. He could have sworn he heard something about the 'Elephants of Harmony'. One phrase caught his full attention though.

"The Mare In The Moon? Twilight, that's and old ponies tale. And you're stupid for even talking about it."

She started going on about the tale, not even noticing that spike just insulted her. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he resumed putting the books back in order. When he finished, he climbed down the ladder and waited for Twilight to finish.

"Spike, take a note please.To the Princess!" she suddenly asked.

Picking up some quills and a piece of paper, he began writing his version of what she was saying.

Dear Princess Celestia, my dearest teacher,

Twilight thinks that the 'Mare In The Moon' is going to kill everypony or whatever.

You know, she was right to hate everypony, now that I think of it. You are all so cheery and happy all the time. It really starts to get on my nerves when ponies and happy for no apparent reason. Anyway, she is almost done talking and I don't want to have to actually write what she is saying.

Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle

"Done," Spike said after finishing the letter.

"All right, send it." Twilight said with a smug expression on her face.

Spike raised an eyebrow at Twilight, but offered no rebuttal. Placing the scroll between two of his claws, he suck in a load of air which mixed with his inner furnace. He spit the green flames onto the scroll, which surrounded the fragile paper before burning it into a cloud of smoke. The smoke clung to itself, forming a small cloud and then left through window above Spike.

"You know, Celestia probably has a lot of important things going on right now. What makes you think she has time for her 'faithful students' insane conclusions?" he asked.

Twilight turned to him with a smile still on her face. "Princess Celestia trusts my completely! In all the years she has been my mentor, she never once doubted me." She finished with an wider grin.

As if on queue, spike felt the tell tale signs of a reply from the Princess. He reeled his head back, and let forth a large burp which let out his flames. The flames materialized into a solid scroll in front of them.

"See?" Twilight spoke, "I knew she would want to take immediate action."

Spike picked up the regurgitated scroll and cleared his throat. He then began to read out loud.

My Dearest, most Faithful Student Twilight,

You know that I value your diligence, and that I trust you completely.

But you simply must stop reading those dusty old tomes!

Spike looked up from the parchment and gave Twilight a sly smile.

"Dumbass."

Author's Note

Ok, here is another Idea I had. Obviously I got some inspiration for the Dusk Shine series. But you might be thinking, 'Spike isn't as much of a jerk as I thought he would be!'

The way I see it, him and Twilight have been together for a while. So maybe Spike isn't that rude to her?

Let's go with that. He will probably be a lot more mean to the other ponies.