We Don't Normally Wear Clothes

by Jay David

Rating: teen
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 4369

Twilight has an unusual moment during a slumberparty

Set during the events of "Rainbow Rocks"

Twilight has been invited over to Pinkie's place along with all the other girls for a sleepover while she works on her spell. Unfortunately, because of the young Princess' lack of experience as a human, she soon becomes gripped by curiosity about something she never really paid attention to, until now.

Published 2014-10-01 18:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-03 20:44:04 UTC

We Don't Normally Wear Clothes

So, here she was. Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, had once more arrived in the world of humans. She had been called here because of the friends who lived in this world, human versions of the ones she had back in Equestria, who needed her aid against a new threat, a group of girls known as the Dazzlings, who, in reality, were really a trio of mythical Equestrian beings known as Sirens. Having already tried to thwart their plans, and failed, Twilight knew that a new way to deal them would be needed.

However, there was the issue of where she and Spike, who once more had joined her, were going to stay until she was finished. And that was when Pinkie Pie had given her offer, for Twilight, Spike and all the rest of the girls to have a big sleepover at her place. Having literally nowhere else to go, Twilight had naturally accepted. And so, they had all arrived in Pinkie's home, which was more or less how Twilight had expected it. Balloons, streamers, and all manner of bright colourful objects lining the place.

As Twilight looked around, she hoped deep down that this sleepover would run at least a little smoother than her first attempt at such a gathering, which, thanks to the strife between Applejack and Rarity, hadn't turned out as well as she hoped. However, that thought was quieted by yet another, as she glanced over to the only other person here who was from Equestria like she and Spike were. Sunset Shimmer, Celestia's pupil before Twilight. The two had been enemies the first time they met, but that was a long time ago, and now it seems that they'd be working together against far darker foes.

That train of thought was interrupted quite suddenly by the untimely arrival of Pinkie, who promptly embraced Twilight in a near-suffocating hug.

"Oh my gosh! This is gonna be so much fun!"

Twilight gave a nervous chuckle at that display.

"Er, yeah. Looking forward to it."

Glancing to her side, she saw that most of the other girls, even Sunset, were chuckling at this behaviour from Pinkie, to which Twilight couldn't blame them. However, she was soon dropped by the bubbly girl, who then darted off with a gasp to one of the nearby closets lining the walls of her bedroom. Twilight looked to the others, who simply shrugged their shoulders at this, before Pinkie was right back in her face, and appeared to be holding something behind her back.

"You probably don't have any in this world, so I got you these!"

She produced the mystery item from behind her, and to Twilight's surprise it was a set of what, in this world, was known as pyjamas, bright yellow in colour. Although somewhat taken aback by this gift, Twilight nevertheless accepted it and gave Pinkie a smile, showing her appreciation. Pinkie's own smile after this was so wide that Twilight was afraid it would burst out of her head, but thankfully, the pink-haired girl then gasped a second time and ran over to the other girls, all of whom took an instinctive step backwards.

"I almost forgot! We haven't got the marshmallows yet!"

Before anyone could say anything, Pinkie darted off downstairs, with the rest all staring at the cloud of dust she made in her wake. The girls all chuckled at this before most of them began to make their way after her, the promise of marshmallows simply too good to ignore. After they'd left however, all that remained in that room was Twilight and Spike, who simply looked at each other, their expression making it clear that some things just never change.

"Well then...guess I'd better put this on."

Spike, looking at the yellow outfit in Twilight's hands, nodded at that. However, as he kept watching, he saw her attempt to try and slip it one whilst still wearing her regular clothes. A loud and forceful cough on his part got her attention, and as he silently gestured to her current attire, she gave a somewhat embarrassed chuckle.

"Right. Better undress first."

She placed the pyjamas on the side for the time being and raised her hands up to the top button of her shirt. But before she unbuttoned it, she glanced over to the open closet, which Pinkie had left open. Curiosity gripped her as she approached, looking within and seeing the many outfits hanging up inside it.

"Geez. Look at all this! The Pinkie in our world never had this many outfits. This was more Rarity's thing."

Spike shrugged his shoulders as he walked alongside her.

"Yeah, humans do really seem to love these things."

A thought then occurred to Spike as he tilted his head, still keeping his eyes on the assembled outfits in the closet.

"Maybe they're embarrassed about being without them?"

Twilight looked down at her currently-canine assistant before letting out a scoffing sound.

"That's ridiculous. Do you see ponies being embarrassed about walking around naked all the time?"

Spike considered that before giving a begrudging nod to Twilight, acknowledging her point. The young Princess pondered on all this for a few moments before stretching out one of her arms and placing her other hand upon it's bare skin.

"Maybe it's a warmth thing. Ponies have fur, but humans don't. And now that I think about it, I have been feeling a lot more chilly as a human."

As she dwelt on that, a new thought came to mind.

"Then again, the recent temperatures aren't exactly a risk to their health, at least not at this time of year."

Spike let out a groan as he slapped his forehead.

"Oh no, tell me you're not going all "mad scientist" on me again, are you Twilight?"

Twilight looked down at him with a somewhat indignant look.

"I am not mad when I do science."

Spike looked up at her and responded to that statement with a single raised eyebrow, before Twilight began to relent.

"Well...not completely mad at least."

The small purple dog chuckled at that before turning away from her, ready to head downstairs along with the others. Before he could reach the door however, he was stopped by Twilight, who let out a gasp. Spike had been with her long enough to know that an idea was forming in her mind, which promptly led to him letting out a groan, followed by him walking back to where he was before. Looking up at her, he saw her usual expression of excitement as she spoke.

"I've got a great idea, Spike! I'm one of the only ponies who has ever become a human. I know we've got a lot to do in this world, but I can't just walk away from an opportunity to study this species more closely. I might even write a book on it when we get home."

Spike had no doubt of that, but was unable to say so before Twilight spoke again.

"First things first. Spike, take notes."

Twilight's number one assistant started looking around before eventually spotting a nearby notepad and pencil. Walking over to it, he reached out, only to be hit with the sudden reminder that, in this world, he had no hands, merely the paws of a dog. In this moment, he suddenly gained a newfound appreciation for how difficult it must be for non-magical ponies to write stuff back in Equestria. So, he simply elected to pick up the pencil with his mouth before readying the pad, awaiting Twilight's dictation.

The young Princess started her attempt at human studies by unbuttoning her shirt, which soon led to the thing simply being slumped on the floor. Twilight looked down at her torso, as did Spike, only to find herself looking at yet another item of clothing, white in colour and covering the upper section of her chest.

"What in the hay is that thing?" Spike asked.

Twilight shrugged at that.

"I don't know. But it's got to be there for a reason so...so...ugh!"

Her current stress was from trying to find out exactly how to remove this item from her, not easily able to see how one removed it or even put it on. However, the sudden sound of a throat being cleared led her to look down at Spike.

"I think there's a clasp thing on the back."

Twilight raised an eyebrow at that.

"On the back? Why would anypony put it there of all places? You can't even see it to handle it properly from back there. Why not at the front? Wouldn't it be easier to get to it that way?"

Spike frowned a little.

"Why are you asking me? I'm not the one who made it!"

As she dwelt on that, her mind began to cast up even more questions.

"Come to think of it...why did the mirror give me these clothes to begin with? Did it think I'd like them? Was there a seclection I could have chosen from?"

These questions merely led to another set of shrugged shoulders from Spike, who was only barely paying attention at this point, given that his curiosity didn't anywhere near match Twilights. So, he simply carried on taking notes as instructed. Twilight, having moved on from her current line of questioning, got back to the task at hand, and so tried repeatedly to remove this bizarre white clothing item, but was oblivious to the sound of approaching footsteps as the other girls began to re-enter the room, headed by Rarity.

"I must say, Pinkie, I cannot understand how you need so much whipped crea-ARGH!"

It was here that Rarity, as well as all the other girls, caught sight of Twilight while she was still in the middle of undressing. The fashionista's mouth was hanging wide open, Fluttershy's face became bright red as she tried to hide it behind her long hair, and the others all just stared at her with surprised expressions. Twilight finally noticed them, but seemed unconcerned with their presence and stares.

"Ah, good! I'm glad you're here. Could one of you help me get this thing off?"

There was a long and incredibly awkward silence following that request, which was followed by Rarity fumbling her words a little before finally getting out a response.

"Twi...Twi...Twilight? What are you doing?!"

Twilight looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I decided that, since I'm human, I might as well conduct an experiment of sorts. And Spike's just helping me."

Rarity's eyes, if possible, widened even further. Behind her, both Rainbow Dash and Applejack began to look at each other before starting to smile mischievously. Sunset, meanwhile, was simply slapping her forehead over this. Twilight, in the meantime, just carried on doing what she was doing, or trying to at least, as Rarity just kept on trying to grasp what was going on.

"An...an experiment? With Spike? Erm...I know a young woman has needs, but...didn’t you say he was, er...very young?"

Twilight, not getting the subtext of that statement, nodded.

"Yeah. Technically he's still a baby by his race's standards, but him and me have been doing this sort of thing for years."

Rainbow and Appleajck were barely able to contain the enormous amount of laughter that threatened to escape their mouth at this point. Fluttershy's face had long ago been lost amongst the massive pink of her hair. And as for Pinkie, she seemed to have otherwise occupied herself with a can of whipped cream she'd brought up with her from the kitchen. Twilight though was still completely nonplussed about why her friends were reacting this way.

"Don't worry. Once I get all these clothes off, then the real work begins."

And it was at this point that Rarity's brain seemed to have taken as much of this misunderstanding as it could handle, as she promptly feinted in the most over-dramatic way anyone could have thought possible. Rainbow and Applejack's tolerance had reached it's limit and both burst out laughing, their sides threatening to split with the strain of it. Sunset, having stopped slapping her forehead with frustration, afforded herself a brief chuckle at all this. And Twilight? Both she and Spike looked at this bizarre behaviour from their assembled friends before the young Princess put both hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at all of them.

"Was it something I said?"

Oh, so THAT'S what it's for!

Things had calmed down considerably since Rarity had collapsed onto the ground. Rainbow and Applejack had laughed as much as they could, Pinkie Pie had finished her snack, Fluttershy had finally re-emerged from behind her hair, and Twilight and Spike had just been sitting through the whole thing, waiting for Rarity to get back up again. That didn’t take long however, as a couple of gentle slaps to her cheek from Sunset brought her back pretty quickly. The fashionista took stock of what was going on around her and thankfully, in her eyes anyway, Twilight had elected to put her shirt back on.

So, with all the dramatics out of the way, at least for the time being, Rarity cleared her throat a little and looked somewhat embarrassed at how she reacted to all this. Twilight, meanwhile, simply looked at her friends with a great deal of confusion.

"Okay, does somepony want to tell me what in the hay just happened?"

The assembled girls all looked at each other, as if daring each other to be the one to tell her what this was all about. Eventually, it was Sunset who stepped forward, waling to stand beside Twilight before placing a hand on her shoulder.

"It's a human thing. They generally don't go around unclothed."

Twilight glanced down to Spike after hearing that, and saw that he had just as much confusion in his face as she did, before looking up at the rest of the girls.

"Is that true?"

The girls all nodded to various degrees in response to Twilight's question, leading the latter to scratch her head a little.

"But...why? I mean...you all know what other humans look like without clothes, right?"

Rainbow chuckled at that before answering.

"Of course we do! We just...don't show it, that's all."

The Princess shook her head at that.

"But...there's just no practical reason to do it, at least not in the kinds of warm weather you guys have right now. I mean..."

Stopping briefly, Twilight walked over to the nearby bed and sat down, unlacing one of her boots and pulling it off, revealing her long, pink sock underneath.

"...the whole shoes thing I get. Human appendages don't seem as sturdy as hooves when it comes to walking on stones and stuff. But the rest?"

Standing up again, she started pulling at the hem of her shirt.

"There's just no real reason to have this stuff on!"

As the girls stood there, observing Twilight's display and rant, they all understood that she still didn't really grasp all this. As if on cue, Pinkie Pie, who had been silent during all of this, stepped forward and started speaking.

"Oh, it's all mostly from centuries of competing cultural and religious customs that have managed to maintain a grip on present-day society without any real practical reasons to back it up."

The rest of the group, needless to say, stared at her with wide eyes, prompting her to frown and shrug her shoulders at them.

"What? I'm not allowed to know stuff?"

Twilight, shaking her head to recover from this unexpected statement from her friend, finally put the pieces together in her mind.

"So...you wear it because...you're just told from birth that it's not okay to not wear it?"

The girls all looked at that and pondered for a moment before looking at Twilight and just nodding and murmuring in agreement. The young Princess clearly showed some hesitancy of accepting this attitude of "just because" that her friends were displaying, but her attention was soon grabbed by Sunset, who cleared her throat slightly. Looking at her, Twilight listened as she spoke.

"Believe me, I had a hard time adjusting too. Think of it this way. Them walking around in this world unclothed would be like a pony in Equestria walking around with all their fur shaved off."

Twilight's eyes practically bulged out of her skull as she heard that, looking utterly mortified at the idea.

"But that's completely obscene!"

Sunset chuckled at that, content that Twilight had got the message. And as Twilight considered this carefully, she began to understand why it seemed so normal to some of them. The group seemed content at the moment their their out-of-town friend was starting to accept all of this, but that feeling was brief and fleeting as a look of curiosity began to grip Twilight once more.

"Okay...I think I get it now. But I still have a few questions."

Sunset was the first to answer her.

"I had to go through this myself. What do you want to know?"

Twilight turned to face her before speaking.

"Well firstly, what was that thing on my chest, underneath the shirt?"

Sunset, in stark contrast to how she normally acted, started to blush slightly.

"Oh, that. That's, erm...a bra."

Twilight raised her eyebrow at that.

"That's a weird word. What does it do?"

Sunset turned to the others, her face making it very clear that she was far more uncomfortable with discussing this than she expected to be. Unfortunately, none of the others seemed willing to really come out and say anything, despite all knowing the answer Twilight was looking for. Rarity, albeit hesitantly, stepped forward.

"Well, Twilight...a bra, or brassier as I prefer to call them, are there to...er...hold a lady’s more...private...er..."

The way Rarity was fumbling her words made it obvious to all of them, even Twilight, that she wasn't going to be able to get through this. Making a decision to help her failing friend, Rainbow Dash stepped forward and, in typical Rainbow Dash fashion, simply blurted out what was on her mind.

"Oh geez! She means breasts! They're for holding breasts!"

Rarity's head snapped in Rainbow's direction, with a face that said she was either horrified at Rainbow's forwardness, or that she was about to pass out again. Rainbow, not regretting her outburst one bit, simply shrugged her shoulders at Rarity. Twilight, meanwhile, looked at the group as if they'd just said that pigs could fly or something. Turning, she looked straight at Sunset, clearly wanting some clarification.

"Breasts? As in...?"

The former student of Celestia merely folded her arms and nodded, confirming what Twilight had suspected. The Princess then turned to the rest before speaking again.

"But that's...just weird. Aren't those things supposed to be down here?"

As she spoke she pointed her finger down to her lower torso, just beneath the area where her navel was. The other girls all looked to where she was pointing and then looked at each other, with some, mostly Fluttershy, looking quite shocked at the mere implication that what Twilight described would be the norm in any circumstance. Rarity, who had long ago stifled a gasp after hearing Twilight's words, cleared her throat once more before replying.

"Um...no, dear, they are not down there. At least, not on humans, anyway."

Twilight was clearly having some difficulty with her current anatomy far more than she thought she would, or perhaps ever even thought about, but she tried focusing on other matters for the time being. In particular, a thought came to her as she turned her head towards Sunset.

"You've been a human longer than I have. How hard was it to get used to this sort of thing?"

Sunset folded her arms and afforded herself a brief chuckle.

"Pretty hard, at least at first. The first night I was in this world, I actually tried getting rid of my clothes. I was so used to being an unclothed unicorn that it just didn't matter to me."

She smiled a little, thinking back on those memories that, in hindsight now seemed amusing to her.

"Didn't get very far though. Some people were walking on the other side of the street to me and gave me pretty weird looks. Didn't take long to figure out that keeping clothes on was probably the best idea."

Twilight nodded at that. If nothing else, nopony could argue that Sunset Shimmer was pretty quick on the uptake when it came to getting used to new situations. Feeling a brief moment of kinship with the girl, who Twilight only now started to consider just how hard it was to live away from her world for so long, she put her hand on her shoulder, and the two said nothing, merely giving each other a small smile. It was a pleasant enough moment, but the Princess then removed her hand and placed both on her hips before speaking to Sunset a second time.

"So...any other clothing surprises I should now about?"

Sunset considered that for a while before regaining her blush from earlier.

"Well, er...humans also have underwear for..."

She glanced over at the other girls, noticing that Rainbow and Applejack had started snickering, which showed that they probably figured out what she was going to say. Instead of shouting it out as Rainbow did, she leaned in and began to whisper in Twilight's ear. After a few moments, Twilight's eyes widened as she faced Sunset, who nodded at her. Mouth agape, Twilight turned to her friends.

"Really? You have clothes for THOSE too?"

The whole group looked embarrassed at that statement, but nodded all the same. However, it didn’t take long for Twilight to consider something important.

"Oh yeah. Girls here in this world don't have tails, do they? So you wouldn't have any natural means to cover that part up. I guess it makes sense then."

Sunset, who had also been struggling to suppress a giggle at all this, nodded at her Princess friend. Twilight then spoke up again.

"But wait...what about the males? Doesn't their stuff just, you know, go back inside them?"

Everyone in the group, even Applejack and Rainbow this time, looked at her as if she'd just pulled off her face to reveal herself as an alien or something. Twilight raised an eyebrow at this behaviour and turned to Sunset, who shook her head at her, giving her the answer she needed. Not seeing how the others might find this inappropriate to discuss, Twilight simply pondered on that.

"Huh. So it just stays out? Interesting. I could probably write a whole book on that."

Spike, who had been silently sitting quietly and listening to all this, merely slapped his head at Twilight's obliviousness to all of this. By contrast, Rainbow let out a chuckle at her friends words.

"You know, if you asked some of the guys at school, I doubt they'd say no to helping you with tha-AGH!"

The rainbow-haired girl had been swiftly silenced by an elbow from Rarity, who looked at her with some disdain at her friend's behaviour. Her expression then swiflty changed to one of calm and understanding as she approached Twilight and placed hand on her shoulder.

"Um, Twilight dear? I know this must all be fascinating to you, but you must understand that this sort of thing isn't usually discussed like this, at least in polite..."

She then stopped and cast a glance back at Rainbow.

"...well, mostly polite company."

Rainbow frowned at her before Rarity looked to Twilight once more. After a few moments, Twilight let out a sigh and then smiled to all of the girls. She said nothing, but it was clear that her curiosity and confusion about all this was sated, at least for the time being. Besides, the young Princess knew there was still the matter of her pyjamas to deal with, and so gathered them up before making her way towards the door to find someplace more private to change into them. Before she left however, she was stopped by Applejack.

"Don't y'all worry, Twi. Down at the farm, me an mah family are used to seein animals going about like y'all describe. Ain't nothin to be embarrassed about."

Twilight smiled at her, appreciating her friend's understanding. The farm girl then continued.

"Heck, we've even got a couple of ponies down there."

Twilight’s eyes widened at that.

"Really?! Ponies in this world?! I can't wait to meet them! I bet they have all sorts of interesting things to talk about, like what it's like to be a pony living in this world."

Applejack then looked somewhat nervous as she responded to that.

"Um...well...the ponies here aren't like the ones in yer world, Twi. They're more like...er...cows and sheep and such."

Twilight tilted her head.

"In what way?"

"Well...mostly it's cause they can't talk," Applejack answered.

Twilight gained a sudden look of confusion on her face, turning to look at Spike, who had a similar expression, before facing Applejack again.

"But...cows and sheep can talk!"

All of the girls suddenly fell silent as they looked at Twilight after she'd said that. They looked at her, trying to figure out if she was making a joke or something. When it became clear that she wasn't, all of them gained looks of utter shock on their faces. That is, all of them except Pinkie, who walked up to Twilight with a look of sheer excitement as she started bouncing around.

"Okay, that settles it! I have DEFINITELY got to get myself to Equestria if they've got stuff like talking cows in it!"

Seeing this display, Twilight chuckled a bit.

"I'm sure you'd love it, Pinkie, but with all due respect, we kind of already went through a period when we had more than one of you around at the same time. I don't think we could handle a second."

This time it was Pinkie's turn to be curious.

"Ooh! Really? What was it like?"

Chuckling once more, Twilight turned from her and the other girls and finally made her way out of the room, her pyjamas still in hand.

"Trust me, you DON'T want to know!