Permanent Vacation

by Apple_Crack

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Profanity, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Adventure
Length: 253143

I didn't ask for this, any of this. But now that I'm here, might as well make the most of it. But, why am I here? What purpose does my presence here serve to Equestria?

I didn't ask for this, any of this. But now that I'm here, might as well make the most of it. But, why am I here? What purpose does my presence here serve to Equestria?

*****************************************************************************************************************************

Author Notes: Yes, this is a HIE story. Yes, I know how much people hate self inserts or anything similar to it. And yes, I don't care what people say about this. I'm writing this because I feel like it and nobody can stop me from doing it. To quote Eminem, "See you can hate 'em, he don't blame you frankly he would too." Since I can't use too many character tags, just assume I'll be using every character from the show.

(While I actually thought of the title and premise for this story by listening to Aerosmith's Permanent Vacation, the current cover art just seemed to fit the opening chapter better.)

Note that the Gore tag is simply because of things like characters getting stabbed, shot, etc... Nothing too graphic or descriptive, but better safe than sorry.

Published 2014-10-09 13:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2022-06-16 16:42:09 UTC

Prologue

“Permanent Vacation”

Prologue

I pull into my driveway and shut off my old ninety-five Dodge Intrepid. I open the door and place my foot on the ground, hearing the soft crunch of fresh snow beneath my boot as I step out. I turn around and inspect my clunker. It is not a pretty sight. Rust covers the entire car save for patches of blue on the roof and driver side door, the back bumper is missing, the hood is dented in (Never try jumping over a moving car), the heater doesn’t work, and both rear windows are missing and in their place is duct tape and cardboard. I slam the door shut and sigh, rubbing my gloved hand through my thick, curly hair. I could only hope that I would stumble onto a better car.

My hands fumble with the keys to my house. I manage to grab one of the keys and insert it into the lock. When the handle doesn’t turn, I realize that it is the wrong key. I really should label these things. After my tenth try, the door finally opens. I step inside to the warm comforts of my home and casually kick off my boots. I throw my keys and jacket on the floor beside the door and head for the kitchen. Opening the fridge door, I grab a Coke and some sliced ham. I rummage through my cabinets for some bread and after finding it, proceed to make a sandwich. I scarf it down in four bites and down the Coke in two gulps. Who knew working at a fast food joint could make you so hungry?

I smell like ketchup, French fries, and grease so showering is on the top of my list. I enter my bathroom and undress. I turn on the shower and let it heat up to a boiling hot temperature. After a quick rinse down, I step out and dry myself off. I wander down the hallway to my room but stop at the item hanging on the wall before my door. It’s my diploma, framed and out for the world to see. I rub the edge of the frame and sigh.

I throw on a pair of boxer shorts, a pair of fleece sleep pants, and a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt. I check the digital clock hanging on the wall. It’s seven-thirty P.M., which means that I still have time to watch some MLP and browse the net for pony news. I sit down at my desk, boot up my Toshiba laptop, and turn on my twenty-three inch flat screen mounted in the corner of my room. I browse through the list of episodes on my DVR and find the episode I’m looking for, Season One Episode Two, Friendship Is Magic Part Two. I’m not really paying much attention to the episode as I browse through Equestria Daily and DeviantArt looking for pictures and comics. After all, I have seen this like fifteen times now. I have just finished reading a comic and turn to watch the episode.

The Mane Six are just using the Elements on Nightmare Moon. As soon as Nightmare Moon is hit with the rainbow energy, my TV starts glowing and a bright light shines from it. I close my eyes and turn my head away. A humming sound forces me to open my eyes and look back. The light has now formed into a beam and is heading straight for me.

“Oh crap,” I manage to say before the beam hits me and I fall into darkness.

I flutter my eyes open as sunlight glistens through the curtains covering my window and straight into my face. I yawn and sit up, stretching my arms above my head. I am sitting at my desk with my laptop off. I must have been really tired to fall asleep at my desk like this and not in my heated water bed. I glance at the clock to see what time it was. I blink my eyes a couple of times to make sure I’m seeing this right. The clock has no display. I grab the TV remote and try to power on the TV but it’s unresponsive. This is not good. I’m supposed to start work at six thirty before the sun rises! If the sun is up, that means I overslept!

I hastily undress and throw on my work clothes, a plain white t-shirt and tan cargo pants. I also grab my pocket knife (Never leave home without one) and throw it into my left front pocket. I rush down the hallway, pausing briefly to rub my diploma again. Heeding the call of nature, I make a pit stop in the bathroom. I run into the kitchen looking for a quick snack and grab a Pop-Tart. As I’m throwing on my boots, I think up multiple excuses I could use when my boss asks me why I was late. I settle on saying the roads are bad and traffic was backed up as I finish zipping up my coat. I grab my keys and bolt out the door, turning around briefly to shut and lock the door. I turn around and begin heading for—

THUMP

I fall backwards onto the ground and rub my forehead. Grinding my teeth, I sit up and look at what I ran into. A tree. I ran into a tree. I scratch my head. Since when did I have a tree right outside my front door? I look around and notice an entire forest. And since when did I live in a forest? I stand up and look back at my house. Yep, same old home but now in the middle of a forest instead of a wide open field. I then turn around and look at the forest around me. Something seems off about this place but I can’t put my finger on it.

I start sweating in my heavy jacket. Wait, sweating in the middle of winter? I close my eyes and stomp my right leg a few times. There’s no crunching sound so I open my eyes and look down. Yep, just like I thought. Not a single ounce of snow anywhere. Before doing anything else, I walk back towards my house and unlock the door. I take off my jacket and throw it inside before shutting and locking the door again.

I hear a twig snap behind me. On instinct, I reach into my pocket and pull out my knife, blade open and ready to strike. While I’m not one for harming others, I’ll do what needs to be done. I spin around to see exactly what is sneaking up on me. What I see is something that shouldn’t exist, unless I am on some secret government facility for testing. It has the body and head of a lion, ears and wings from a bat, and the tail of a scorpion. It is a manticore.

A sharp, stinging pain shoots through my left leg. I scream out in pain and look down. The stinger on the tail is lodged in my leg. I must have been so transfixed by the manticore that I didn’t notice the tail heading for my leg. Through teary eyes, I slash my knife down at the tail. I’m rewarded with a hissing sound as my knife cuts through the stinger, causing the blood to boil. The manticore retracts its tail and stares at me. I stare right back. Waving my knife in front of me causes the manticore to whimper and run off into the forest. I shake my head. First, did I really just scare off a maticore? Secondly, those things shouldn’t exist. Thirdly, what was up with that hissing sound and the boiling blood? Lastly, where am I?

I’m shaken out of my thoughts when I feel a burning sensation in my leg. I look at my leg and see a red stain around the hole in my pants. I roll my pant leg up and am sickened by the sight. The entire area where the stinger pierced the skin has swollen and the skin around it has turned a dark shade of red. I lightly touch the skin around the hole and wince in pain. Just perfect. Not only do I need to find out where I am, I also need to find someone to heal me.

I look to the sky to find any noticeable things to follow. Way off in the distance, I make out a flag and the top of a building. A possible town? Having no other choice, I head in the direction of the flag. I had better get there fast because this burning sensation really hurts.

By now, I have reached the edge of the forest and can see multiple houses. The land is bathed in colors, looking like it is straight out of a cartoon. I am sweating profusely and the burning sensation in my leg has increased. The swelling and redness also increased in size. The pain is so bad, I am now limping along. I feel like dropping right there and letting darkness wash over me. But I push on, hoping that someone in this town could help me.

As I enter the town, everything seems quiet. Almost as if the town is abandoned. I place my hand over the knife in my pocket, half expecting something, or someone, to attack me. Everything is starting to get blurry at this point. I can’t tell if I am even heading towards the flag anymore. Thankfully, I hear sounds off in the distance. It sounds like a celebration of some kind with music blaring and cheering. I move as fast as I can towards the celebration.

By now, my vision consists of gray blobs. I round a corner, at least I think it is a corner, to see a huge mass of gray blobs. I shuffle towards them, my energy having disappeared from my body.

I hear a gasp and a voice with a southern twang to it say, “What in tarnation is that thing?!” With these words, the sounds from before silence themselves. I stop dead in my tracks.

I reach down and roll up my pant leg, hearing a collective gasp shortly after. I lean back up, reach my hand out, and mouth with as much energy as I can muster, help me.

With that, I close my eyes and fall forward, my strength being completely drained. Before hitting the ground, I black out.

I twitch my eye as sunlight hits it. What is it with the sun today? It’s like it’s out to get me. I groan slightly and lick my lips. I slowly sit up and blink my eyes a few times to remove the blurriness from my vision before looking around and taking stock of my surroundings.

It looks like I woke up on a wooden bed with purple covers with stars all over it atop me. Everything around me seems to be made out of wood. Bookshelves built into the walls are filled to the brim with books (Duh, what else?). Two stairwells sit on opposite sides of the room, one leading up and the other down. A little hallway directly across from me branches off to the left and right at the end. A little to the right of this doorway is a sofa in front of a flat screen mounted on the wall. I also notice two other beds, a smaller bed with green covers and another bed that is the same size but with plain, white covers a few feet away. There is also a telescope pointing out the window to the sky above. From where I’m at, I can see branches and leaves outside the window.

I do a double take. Wait… leaves? As in leaves from a tree? So I’m in a hollowed out tree? Why a tree and not a hospital?

I quickly realize that I feel no pain in my left leg. I panic slightly and gulp, fearing that the worst has happened. I reach down and throw the covers off of me. Carefully rolling up my pant leg, all my fears subside when I see my leg perfectly fine. The area around the hole is bandaged up and the burning sensation has disappeared. Whoever patched me up sure did a wonderful job. Speaking of which, I believe that it’s about time to find whoever owns this place.

I roll out of the bed and carefully place my feet on the ground. I wince slightly as pain travels up my left leg. So much for being fully healed. I, being as silent as I could, creep over to the stairwell in the corner of the room that leads down. I can make out some voices talking as I near the top of the stairwell. I only catch part of the conversation.

“I just don’t know girls. None of my books make any reference to the creature upstairs.”

So they are talking about me. But why didn’t a human know a human? Looking down the stairs into what opens into a central library, I take notice of the room. Padded chairs, a couch, and a few tables and desks are placed around the room. More bookshelves line the walls of the room, filled to capacity with books of various colors. I do a double take at six figures standing near the center of the room that leaves me confused but wanting to shout with glee. So that’s why they don’t know what a human is.

Standing in a half circle with their backs somewhat to me, is the Mane Six. Well, not the pony version but a more anthro version. It seems they have the same look from the Equestria Girls movie, but with the addition of tails, large wings on the pegasi, horns jutting out on the unicorns (Not far enough to hurt someone but still pronounced), hooves instead of feet, and equine ears. From my current location, I can’t get a good look at their faces.

Applejack is wearing a white and red striped shirt under a black jacket and a pair of blue jeans, along with her trademark Stetson. Fluttershy is wearing a loose fitting green t-shirt, with holes in the back for wings, and a long white skirt. Twilight has on a light brown vest over a white long sleeve and dark purple jeans. Pinkie is wearing a pink jacket over a white shirt and a medium length pink skirt. Rarity is wearing a light blue t-shirt and a light grey medium length skirt. Rainbow has on a white tank top, with holes in the back for wings, and tan cargo shorts. Somewhere on each of their clothes is their Cutie Mark.

While I may seem calm on the outside, my mind is screaming at me how impossible this is. Part of me wants to jump up and down at the joy of meeting the Mane Six and being in Equestria while the other half screams, “Error! Error! This does not compute! Force shutdown! CTRL-Z! CTRL-Z!”

I mouth a single phrase. What the fuck is going on here?

Author's Note

My first time ever really trying to do something bigger than one chapter and without a pre-reader/editor so if anyone wants to leave feedback or help out, I would appreciate it.

First Impressions: Princess Celestia

“Permanent Vacation”

First Impressions: Princess Celestia

Celestia finishes her welcome to me.

“Excuse me, Princess, but do you have a banana I could eat right now? I’m still a little hungry,” I ask.

Celestia nods her head. “But of course.” Her horn glows, and with a little pop, a banana now floats beside her.

I eye the banana. “What is this? I asked for an apple, not a freaking banana!”

Celestia shakes her head. “My mistake, allow me to correct this.” Again, a popping sound accompanies the appearance of the apple.

“Estás loco? Pedí un melocotón!”

Celestia’s smile falters slightly, but returns to normal in seconds. With a nod of her head, a peach now floats beside her. Damn, really thought the whole Spanish speaking thing would throw her for a loop. Then again, she is a Princess of Equestria, and I’m sure her subjects speak multiple languages.

I shake my head, and the fruit beside Celestia disappears. “Forget it, I lost my appetite now.” I turn my head to right and start talking to an imaginary person. “I know right? They bow for her but not for me? I don’t have to take this treatment,” I say, turning my head back to Celestia. I do a double take and gasp, squeezing the air to the left of me in a mock hug.

“Yay! You’re back! I missed you so much! I’m sorry for last time, it’ll never happen again. Anyway, I have so much to tell you! I got Borderlands 2 and beat it in two weeks. I took a trip to K-Mart. I had a weird dream with a banana and a dog in space… or was it underwater? And I ate some Skittles but they didn’t taste like rainbows. And—”

“Excuse me, but who are you talking to?” Celestia interrupts as I turn my head to face her and see no visible difference… wait, was that a twitch under her eye? Behind her, the reactions of the girls vary. Twilight looks like she’s hyperventilating, Applejack has pulled her Stetson down over her eyes, Fluttershy is quivering behind Applejack, Rarity’s jaw is wide open, Rainbow has her head cocked to the side, and Pinkie is staring at the space to my right . By now, I’m cracking up inside and just barely holding it together.

I wrap my arm around the air to the right. “Oh, this is my friend Texty! Say hi, Texty!”

Pinkie madly waves. “Hi, Texty! I’m Pinkie Pie! Wanna be friends too? You do?! Yippee! I’m gonna need another party for making two new friends in one day! I’m gonna call it the—”

“Pinkie, what exactly do you see?” Twilight asks, still panting slightly.

“That giant floating text box over by Blake. Don’t you girls see him too?”

How can she see something that isn’t real? The girls glance between Pinkie and the space where “Texty” is multiple times. They all silently nod their heads, presumably to spare Pinkie’s feelings.

I pull my shirt up so only my face is exposed. Throwing my hands in the air, I scream, “I am the great Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!” The girls eyes go wide and they take a step back, save for Celestia, who hasn’t flinched.

I can’t take it anymore. My eyes are watering so bad from how funny this is. I slap my good knee and burst out laughing, falling onto the floor.

“Hey! What’s so funny?” Rainbow asks.

“You! You actually believed I was insane!” I manage to say between fits of laughter. “And I did it to a princess as well!” I clutch my side in pain but continue on anyways, “Man, I haven’t laughed this hard in years!”

“Uh, what just happened?” Applejack asks as she scratches her head.

I finish laughing and get up off the floor. “Haven’t you heard of a prank before? Trust me, I’m not insane, I just wanted to pull a little prank. I’m sorry, Princess, but I just couldn’t resist the opportunity,” I bow slightly, “Anyway, it is an honor to meet you, Princess. My name is Blake Quinter, but just call me Blake.”

If she is surprised or enraged by my prank, she doesn’t show it. She just chuckles lightly. “It has been some time since I was pranked last,” Celestia turns her head to the window with a distant look in her eyes, “I thoroughly enjoyed those times with my sister.”

“I hate to be so blunt and ruin this tearful moment, but I pretty sure you have some questions you want answered. I also want to ask you a few things but would prefer to be in a more… secluded place.”

Celestia turns her head back to me, blinking her eyes a few times. Regaining her composure, her horn lights up and a yellow dome encircles just her and me. Outside of the dome, I can see the girls’ mouths moving but can’t hear them.

“There. You can speak freely here, not a word of it will be heard by anypony other than me.”

“Alright, why the hell am I here in Equestria?!” I jab my finger at her, “I’m pretty sure you had something to do with it. Or did Twilight screw up a spell again because that’s pretty common for her.”

“You are not the first creature of your kind to be here.”

I feel my jaw hanging wide open. I snap it shut and shake my head. “I’m sorry, I must not have heard that right. Did you say that I’m not the first human to be here?”

“That is correct. Are you aware of the Elements—”

“Of Harmony? Yeah, I know of them. Each of those girls out there represents one of the Elements. Rainbow and Loyalty, Twilight and Magic, Rarity and Generosity, Pinkie and Laughter, Applejack and Honesty, and Fluttershy and Kindness.”

“Yes… Well, many years ago my sister and I—”

“Used the Elements to encase the god of chaos, Discord, in stone. I’ve heard this many times by now so if we could speed this up, that would be great.” God, I wish I had a cup of coffee right now.

By now, Celestia’s eyes are wide. Seriously, I must really be freaking her out right now. She blinks a few times before regaining her composure. “When my sister and I used the Elements, a strange creature similar in appearance to you landed before us, unconscious. When he awoke several hours later, he was scared and confused but later came to accept his current situation. He told us of another world called Earth and his life back there.”

“He came to accept his life here and made many discoveries about the magical energies of our world. His knowledge of technology allowed us to make our own advancements, like TV and radio. To hide his true nature, I cast a spell on him that made anypony see him as a unicorn. He came to be one of my best friends in all of Equestria.,” She lets out a small sigh. “He made many wonderful contributions to our world before he passed on from old age.”

“So hold on. You mean to tell me that the Elements caused me to come here? Why would they do that? It makes no sense!”

“I’m afraid that I do not know why or how the Elements brought you here. They were used several times after our imprisonment of Discord but only on that one occasion did a human ever appear,” her eyes turn into slits and glare at me as her voice drips with menace, “but maybe you can answer this. How do you know so much about my subjects and our history? The last human didn’t know a thing.”

I gulp and rub the back of my head. I guess I kinda gave out too much info. May as well tell her the truth before things escalate. “Well, your world is just a TV show meant for viewers, like myself, to watch and enjoy. I know certain things about your past and the future adventures of the Elements. I can only assume the reason that you’re real is because this is an alternate universe or some strange relative fictionality. Please don’t hurt me,” I say, turning away from her and covering my face.

“I sense you are indeed telling the truth. Oh, and in retaliation from your prank, gotcha.”

I turn my head to look at Celestia who has the slightest smirk on her face. Oh, she’s good. I should have known that she wouldn’t hurt me unless I threatened her or her subjects. I smile and laugh with her at my expense. “You really had me going there for a bit. I think we are going to get along just fine.”

As our chuckles die down, I ask her, “Right, so I have a few questions for you. First, I assume you know about electricity so I have to ask, how are my electronic devices working? I saw gems sticking out the sides of some devices but can’t understand why.”

“You have items with you? The last human didn’t have anything save for the clothes on his back.”

“Yeah, my entire house is in the Everfree Forest.”

“Well then, I’ll make arrangements to move it into town behind the library right away. It should be here by tomorrow at seven.”

“Thanks for that. I don’t feel like taking a walk every time I wanted to visit my house. Now, can you explain why gems are sticking out my electronics?”

“Along with hydroelectric power, like from the dam here in Ponyville, we use enchanted gems that draw on the excess magic of Equestria for power. I can only assume that when the Elements brought your house here, they converted your electric using items to work on gems.”

“Alright, good enough for me,” I inwardly want to scream my head off at the logic of all this, “Second, as I’m sure you are aware, I am an omnivore but can’t survive on fruits and veggies alone. Is there any chance that you can supply me with meat?”

“Of course. I shall order some crates of meat from the griffon kingdom.”

“Really? I thought that since you don’t eat it, ponies like you would be appalled at me eating meat.”

“Over time, my subjects have come to accept the fact that there are species out there that eat meat as part of their diet.”

That went better than I expected. “Lastly, I would like your opinion on something. Should I tell the girls what I just told you? I can tell Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash don’t fully trust me and this may be my way of gaining their trust.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea right now. My subjects tend to… exaggerate certain affairs. Telling them that you know the future will surely cause chaos. In time, I’m sure they will come to trust you.”

“Fair enough,” I say when a thought crosses my mind causing my eyes to grow wide. “I’m not going to be able to get back to my world, aren’t I?”

Celestia sighs. “I’m afraid that, try as we might, we weren’t able to send the last human home.”

A million thoughts run through my head. My entire life, my family, my entire world as I knew it, my entire chance at an IT career, was gone in the blink of an eye. I wipe my eyes a few times and hang my head, holding back the tears at the edge of my vision. I knew my life was unimportant to the rest of the world but it was still my life. I always figured that if I somehow got to Equestria, it would be more like a visit and not a permanent vacation.

“I’m truly sorry, Blake. But fear not, for there may still be hope. Magic has improved drastically over the years and with the Element of Magic, we may be able to send you back.”

I smile slightly and look at her. “You have nothing to be sorry for and you’re right, I must never give up hope. It’s what kept me going throughout my entire life,” I yawn after saying this. “I hate to be rude, but do you mind cutting this meeting short? It’s getting kind of late out and I’d like to rest.”

“Of course.” Celestia says as the dome dissipates.

“I can’t be sure, Twi. He ain’t telling us something but…”

Apparently, the girls haven’t noticed the dome dissipate and are engaged in conversation. I clear my throat. The girls all turn to face me as Twilight and Applejack avoid direct eye contact. “Please do continue, Applejack. I would love to hear more.”

“Uh… Blake? How much of that did you hear?” Twilight asks.

“Not much but just enough to know you can’t trust me. And I’m not upset. I understand that meeting a new creature with the ability to hurt you raises some red flags. But I hope, in time, that you will come to trust me or I earn your trust in some way.”

Twilight and Applejack relax, both of them wiping their brows.

“So, Princess, what do you make of Blake here?” Twilight asks.

“He is a strange creature, to say the least, but I sense that he is no threat to you. I feel that he will serve a greater purpose in the future,” Celestia says, turning her head to look out the window. “I’m afraid it's getting late out and I must leave to return to Canterlot.”

“Of course, Princess,” Twilight replies.

With a bright flash of light, Celestia disappears. I turn to face the girls who are all staring at me. I clap my hands together, causing Fluttershy to jump a little. “Alright, since my house won’t be here till tomorrow, looks like I’m staying with one of you.”

“I have a spare room at the Boutique you could use,” Rarity says, eyeing me up and down. “Maybe while we’re there, I could get you out of those clothes and into something more fitting for somepony like you.”

“Oh, Oh! Stay with me! I have a spare bed in my room! We could have a sleepover! And play pin the tail on the pony! Oh, I can also introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Cake! I can also get a head start on my party for you!” Pinkie shouts, bouncing in place the entire time.

“I have a spare room at my cottage if you want to stay there. If it’s okay with you and everypony else,” Fluttershy says from her hiding place behind Rainbow Dash.

“I have a spare bed upstairs that you could use,” Twilight says.

“There’s ah spare cot out in the barn ya can use,” Applejack says.

“I guess you could stay with me. But I got my eye on you bub,” Rainbow says, pointing her finger at me.

“I thank you all for the offers but I have some things to point out.” I point to Rainbow. “Where do you live?”

Rainbow points upwards. “In the most awesomest cloud home this side of Cloudsdale!”

“And therein lays issue number one. I can’t walk on clouds like you can. Unless I want a one way ticket to the ground, I must respectfully decline.”

I point to Pinkie. “Pinkie… While I’m sure it will be fun, I don’t think I’m ready to handle your level of zaniness just yet without becoming insane.” She’ll drive me to drink within minutes.

I turn to Rarity. “While I’m sure you have a wonderful idea for an outfit, I’m really not in the mood for becoming an impromptu fashion model tonight.”

I point to Fluttershy and Applejack. “Both of you live on the outskirts of town, correct?” They both silently nod. “I don’t feel like walking that distance tonight.”

I walk up beside Twilight. “Looks like you’re stuck with me for tonight,” With this, Twilight’s eyes light up and she smiles. Her horn glows and out of the corner of my eye, I notice a quill and scroll levitate towards us.

I sigh. “You want to study my sleep habits, right?” Twilight bobs her head so fast that it looks like she’s a bobblehead. I knew I should have picked Fluttershy to stay with. “Fine, but I better not wake up with any weird magic effects or wires and plugs attached to my body.”

“You have my word.”

“Sure… I’ll hold you to that. Anyway, I’ll see you girls tomorrow.” I say, walking towards the stairs.

“Alright, I’ll be up in a little bit.”

I’m only two steps away from the top when I say, “Good night, girls, and have pleasant dreams.”

I don’t even bother waiting for a response. I’m dead tired at this point as I make my way over to the bed farthest from Spike. I flop onto the bed, not even bothering to crawl under the sheets. Sleep hits me instantly and as my eyes begin to close, I let out a sigh.

“Sweet Jesus, what have I gotten myself into?” I mumble as I drift off to sleep.

Author's Note

If the Spanish is wrong, don't blame me, blame Google Translate.

The Ticket Master or Celestia Be Trolling

“Permanent Vacation”

The Ticket Master or Celestia Be Trolling

I awoke with a slight groan and yawned as the last vestiges of sleep drifted away. I looked over to see if Twilight was still sleeping but found her bed empty. Spike, however, is still curled up in his bed.

“Rarity,” he mumbles.

Chuckling slightly at the young romantic, I look at the clock hanging on the wall and discover that it’s only eight in the morning. A loud snore from Spike snaps me back to attention. Wow, I must have been really tired to sleep through snoring like that. Speaking of which, how does Twilight sleep through it? And where is she for that matter?

A familiar smell hits me. I take a few deep breaths to make sure it’s what I believe it to be, the sweet smell of pancakes. I throw the sheets off me and start climbing out of the bed when a thought occurs to me. I didn’t cover myself up last night. I just flopped down on the bed. The only person who could have done it was Twilight. I smile slightly. It reminds me of all the times my mother did the same thing when I was younger. The last time I talked to her was years ago for Christmas. I sniffle slightly. What was the last thing I said to her? Would I ever see her again? I’m snapped out of my flashback by the succulent smell of pancakes wafting from downstairs. I crack my back as I head downstairs and look around for the kitchen. Off to the left of the main room, I spot a door and hear humming coming from the other side. I trudge over and push open the door.

Standing in front of a stove is Twilight, dressed in the exact same clothes from yesterday, humming to herself. “Morning,” I say.

Twilight turns her head to look at me. “Good morning, Blake! Did you sleep well?”

“Slept like a log. But I should be the one asking you that question. How do you deal with Spike’s snoring? I swear it sounded like a freight train going through a tunnel this morning.”

“I wear magically enchanted earplugs that block all noise unless somepony directly addresses me. Anyway, would you like some pancakes and eggs?”

“Wait, don’t ponies eat things like hay, flowers, fruits, veggies, and grass?”

“Well, yes, but sometimes ponies eat other things. Did you think everypony eats nothing else?”

I mentally sigh from the mindfuck right now. “Yes, I did believe that but you just proved me wrong.” I take a seat at the booth built into the wall off to the right. Twilight levitates over two plates of eggs and pancakes, along with forks and knives, as she takes a seat on the other side of the table. I prepare to shove my fork into the pancakes when I stop. “Are these hay pancakes?”

Twilight is in mid bite with her own eggs when she groans and facepalms. She finishes chewing and says, “What did we just talk about? Was it how ponies don’t always eat hay?”

“Right, sorry.” We finish eating in silence. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

Twilight looks at a scroll. “Well, after Spike wakes up, we are going to help Applejack over at Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Mind if I tag along?”

“I don’t see why not. Oh, and your house is outback. It just appeared around six or so.”

Damn, that was fast. I wasn’t expecting it until later in the day. “Thanks for breakfast,” I stand up from the table and make my way to the door as Twilight takes our plates to the sink, “I’ll find my way to AJ’s place after I take care of a few things at my place.”

“You’re welcome. And I’ll see you there.”

I exit the library and walk around the left side of it. True to her word, Celestia brought my house here. I unlock the door and enter. In hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t lock the doors anymore. It’s not like there was ever any crime in the show. I go through my morning ritual of relief, shower, brushing teeth, etc… I change into a pair of blue jeans and a white tank top with a pair of brown hiking boots. After washing the dishes from last night and throwing my dirty laundry in the washer, I walk back outside. It seems a crowd has gathered around to see who the new home belongs to. Upon seeing me, all of them back up.

I shake my head at how people fear the unknown. “Does anyone know how to get to Sweet Apple Acres?” Most of them have their jaws hanging open while a few point behind them towards the town square. I thank them and head for the square, the ponies (Screw it. They look human but use words like everypony and eat pony food so I’m calling them ponies) scrambling to get out of my way.

The town square isn’t much help so I start walking down one of the many roads until I find a signpost telling me Sweet Apple Acres is straight ahead. Well, at least I picked the right road. Whistling a merry tune to myself, I follow the directions on the sign.

I arrive at Sweet Apple Acres and scan the rows of trees for Twilight, Spike, and Applejack. In between the twentieth and twenty-first rows, I see them bucking some trees. Well, with the exception of Spike, who was picking up any apples that miss the baskets, and Twilight, who is magically plucking them from the branches.

“Hey girls!” Spike crosses his arms. “And Spike!”

Applejack turns and waves. “Howdy, Blake! Twilight here was just telling me ya wanted ta help out today. Ya ready ta buck some apples?”

“Of course! I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to.” I head over to the nearest tree and climb up it. Balancing myself on a branch, I pick the apples and toss them into the buckets below.

“Uh, Blake? Ya do know ya could just buck the trees? Ya don’t need ta climb them.”

“In case you haven’t noticed,” I motion with my free hand towards my feet, “my feet aren’t designed for kicking trees with positive results. Now come on! You going to gawk at me all day or are you going to buck some apples?” They nod their heads and get back to work.

After what I’m guessing to be about two or three hours of work, we are carrying the last batch of apples from whatever number row we were on towards the barn. Spike, for some odd reason, begins tossing apples out of Twilight’s baskets, which he is riding in. I remember this as the opening scene for The Ticket Master.

“I want ta kindly thank y’all for the help. I bet Big Mac that I could get all these Golden Delicious apples into the barn by lunchtime. If I do, he’s gotta walk around town in one of Granny Smith’s girdles!” Applejack lets out a small chuckle. I groan. I do not need that mental image right now.

“It’s no trouble at all Applejack. I’m glad it’s almost lunchtime. All this hard work is making me hungry.” Twilight’s stomach growls in agreement.

Spike tosses one of the apples, which bounces off Twilight’s head. “I know, right?”

“Easy for you to say Mister I Have the Easiest Job and Now Get Free Ride on Floating Basket,” I say from a short distance behind the girls. These baskets are heavier than I expected and are really slowing me down. Applejack is carrying her baskets on her shoulders through the use of a pole through the handles. Twilight is taking the easy way out and carrying hers through magic. I’m carrying mine like Applejack, but anyone can tell that I’m struggling. I can’t understand how those girls are carrying all that weight like it was nothing. Then again, magic seems to have Twilight reliant on it. Might have to break her of that mentality sometime.

“I have to agree with Blake, Spike. You barely did anything all morning!”

“Exactly! You three took so long that I missed snack time!” Spike yells, Twilight’s stomach growling in response.

“Hey! I’m starving too but you don’t see me complaining… Yet!” I yell.

“Heh heh. I guess we better get some food.” Twilight says as Spike goes back to rooting in the basket.

They stop just long enough for me to catch up. I set the baskets on the ground and wipe my brow. I see the apple Spike is holding and just laugh. “You can’t put Windows on Apple!” Both girls turn to look at me.

“Come again?” Applejack scratches her head.

“Sorry, insider joke.” We hear a crunch and turn to look at Spike, who ate the apple in a single bite.

“Spike!” Twilight and I yell.

“What?” Spike shrugs his shoulders. He covers his mouth before he burps out green flames. The flames swirl together before a popping sound is heard and a scroll appears. It slowly falls to the ground.

“It’s a letter from Princess Celestia.” I could tell Twilight was trying to hide her excitement.

Spike clears his throat and I pretty much tune what he says from that point on. I do, however, take notice when Spike reads the last line. “—Cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle, Blake Quinter, and one guest.”

Twilight and Applejack gasp and point to each other. “The Grand Galloping Gala!”

“The what now?” I ask. Now that I think about it, they never really explained what the Gala was for.

“The Grand Galloping Gala is the biggest event in Equestrian history! It’s a social gathering to celebrate Equestria and all of its inhabitants and you and I get to go!” Twilight squeals with joy as her and Applejack jump up and down and shout. I look down at Spike to see him point at his mouth and make a retching sound. He burps again and three tickets materialize in the air. Spike grabs them and exclaims, “Look, three tickets!”

I mumble under my breath, “No shit, Sherlock. This isn’t Sesame Street.”

“I’ve never been to the Gala before. Have you, Spike?”

“No, and I intend to keep it that way. I don’t want anything to do with that girly, frilly froufrou stuff.”

“Keep saying things like that and ponies will believe you’re Rainbow Dash,” I say.

“Come on Spike. A dance might be nice.”

I tune out Applejack describing her dreams of the Gala. I already heard this plenty of times so why hear it again? A nagging feeling in the back of my head tells me to take three steps back, which I do.

“Oh! Well in that case, would you like to—”

“Look out below!” I turn away from the resulting thud and dust cloud. I look back toward the crash and see Rainbow Dash on top of two agitated ponies with the apples we just picked scattered around. If I hadn’t taken those steps back, I too would be under that pile. “Are we talking about the Grand Galloping Gala?!”

Applejack forces herself up, flipping Rainbow off of her. “Rainbow Dash! What are ya doing here? You told me ya couldn’t help ‘cause ya had important work ta catch up on!”

Rainbow jumps up and scoffs. “I was catching up,” Rainbow points up. We all look up to see a pillow and blanket on a branch, “On napping.”

I scratch my head. “How is that comfortable?”

Rainbow just shrugs. “You get used to it. Anyway, I just happened to hear you have an extra ticket?”

“Yes, but—”

“Awesome! The Wonderbolts perform every year for ponies from around Equestria! I could see it now…” Again, I just tune out Rainbow’s dream. “Come on, Twilight! You have to give me that ticket! This could be my only chance to show them how awesome I am!” Rainbow is hovering in front of Twilight’s face when she is pulled to the ground.

“Hold on just one pony picking minute here!” Applejack lets go of Rainbow’s tail. Rainbow jumps up as Applejack shoves her face into Rainbow’s. “I asked for it first!”

Rainbow shoves her face into Applejack’s. “I don’t see your name on it!”

“Ya know… Technically Twilight and I were invited so I think we should decide who gets the ticket,” I suggest.

My suggestion goes unheard as they continue to argue. “That’s it! I challenge you to an arm wrestle. Winner gets the ticket!” Rainbow smirks and they each take a side of a stump. The contest starts and both of them sweat and grunt, trying to gain the upper hand.

“Girls!” Twilight yells, stepping between the two and forcibly shoving them apart, “Blake’s right. We were both invited and as such, we should both decide who gets the ticket. Don’t you think whoever has the best reason should get the ticket?” I stand beside Twilight and cross my arms, nodding my head in agreement.

Applejack smiles and jumps forward. “Creating business for the farm!”

Rainbow rushes in front of Applejack. “A chance to be a Wonderbolt!

Applejack jumps in front of Rainbow. They are slowly closing the distance between me and Twilight. “Money to fix Granny Smith’s hip!

“Living the dream!” Rainbow yells as she hovers in front of my face.

I push her away. “Ever hear of personal space? And a breath mint?”

Rainbow glares at me. “Hey! I told you my breath doesn’t smell that bad!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Whatever. Twilight, your verdict on who gets the tickets?”

Twilight’s stomach rumbles in hunger. “Those were pretty good reasons, weren’t they, Blake?” I nod my head. “I can’t think on an empty stomach so we’ll get back to you after lunch, okay?” I grab Spike and throw him onto my shoulder as we hightail it out of there.

We walk in silence until we near Sugercube Corner, when Spike breaks the ice. “So, have you two decided who you’re going to give the ticket to?”

“Spike, we haven’t talked the entire walk back. Unless Twilight and I were mentally sharing thoughts, then no, we haven’t decided.”

“Besides, Spike, I don’t think either of us could decide on empty stomachs. So where do you—” Twilight is interrupted when a pink blur tackled all of us to the ground. I sit up once the dust clears and crack my neck. On the ground in front of me is Pinkie. The tickets Spike was holding flutter down and land on Pinkie’s nose. She opens her eyes and screams, causing Twilight and Spike to jump up in alarm.

“Bats! Bats on my face! Help!” She runs in a circle a few times before stopping in front of the tickets. “Wait, are these…” Her eyes widen (I swear I see stars in them) and a huge smile plasters her face, “Tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!”

“Oh, fuck no! I haven’t had coffee yet! I’m not ready for this kind of crazy! Quick, hide!” I scream, diving into the nearest pile of hay, which strangely has a red and white hooded cloak in it. I am still close enough to hear the entire exchange among Twilight and Pinkie, along with Rarity and Fluttershy when they arrive. I climb out of the hay, brushing myself off as I walk over to the girls.

“Wait just a minute!” We all look up to see Rainbow Dash standing on a beam with her chest puffed out. Must. Not. Stare.

“Rainbow Dash! Were you following us?” Twilight asks.

“It doesn’t matter. I couldn’t risk you giving that ticket to somepony else.”

“Wait just ah minute!” We all spin around to see AJ walking towards us.

“Applejack! Why are you here? No, wait, don’t answer that. I already know.” I say as Twilight groans and facehoofs.

“I was following Rainbow Dash ta make sure she didn’t do anything ta MY ticket!” At this, the girls formed their own little circle and argued amongst themselves.

I lean over and whisper in Twilights ear, “Back away slowly. Keep eye contact the entire time. Don’t even blink. Blink and we’re dead. If we do this right, we just might be able to eat within this lifetime.” She nods and we back away without getting caught as the girls continue to argue.

Once we make it a safe distance away, Twilight leads us to a quaint little café called the Hay Bale. We opted for a table outside and sit down at our seats. All of the patrons keep glancing in my direction every so often and fidget in their seats. Sooner or later, I would have to deal with them but for now, I just blow them off. I study the menu. Hay, sweet and sour hay, flowers, hay and flower sandwich. I groan and want to smack Twilight upside the head for bringing me here.

“What’s wrong, Blake?” Twilight asks, shifting her menu down slightly to look at me.

“You do realize that most of the food here I can’t eat, right?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Maybe we should—”

“Nevermind. I found something edible.”

The waiter comes over, glancing at me and shaking. “M-M-May I take your order?”

“I’ll have the hay fries.” Spike slams his menu shut and hands it to the waiter.

“I’ll have the salad, no hay.” I slid the menu across the table to the waiter. We all turn to Twilight. She stares at her menu for a full minute. I snap my fingers. “Come on, Twilight! Decide already!”

She slams the menu down. “I can’t decide!” she screams, causing all heads to turn.

“Easy there, Twilight. The waiter would like to know what you want.”

She grins sheepishly. “Oh. I’ll have the salad with extra hay please.”

Once the waiter leaves, Spike asks the question on our minds. “So, have you two decided who you’re going to give the extra Gala ticket to?”

“Excuse me, but did I just hear you have an extra Gala ticket?” A red pegasi with white hair asks us.

A tan earth pony with orange hair with a streak of grey walks over. “An extra Gala ticket?! I would do anything to get it! I’ll clean your house for a month!”

A crowd eventually grows around us, shouting out things they would do for the ticket. Turns out ponies get over their fears of me real quick when they want something. We are being boxed in as the crowd moves towards us. We needed to get out of here and fast. Yanking the tickets out of Spike’s hand and shoving them in my pocket, I jump up and grab his arm, throwing him around my back. I then grab Twilight’s hand, shoving her towards an opening. “Run for it!” I yell. We both sprint out of there as fast as we can. I look back to see the crowd still chasing us. We slide around corners and zip down streets as I throw items in the path of the crowd. It does little to slow them down, however. I can tell that Spike is clinging to my back because I can feel his claws dig into me with each stride.

“This way! This will lead us straight to the library!” Twilight yells, veering into an alley on the left. I run down it after her. We turn right and find our path blocked by a brick wall.

“Great plan, Twilight! Let’s run down the dead end alley from a crowd bent on tearing us apart for a stupid, fucking ticket! Got any more brilliant ideas?”

“I’m sorry! We must have taken a wrong turn!”

“You think?! I swear to God that if I die here, I’m haunting you for the rest of your life and afterlife!”

“Uh, guys? They’re getting closer!” Spike yells in my ear.

I grab Twilight and shake her. “You can do magic! Do something magic and get us out of here!” I stop shaking her.

“I can try to teleport us all but I haven’t perfected—”

“Does it look like we have a choice?!” My eyes are practically begging her to do the spell.

“Alright! Give me a second to focus!” Her horn glows as she closes her eyes. I hear a buzzing sound and see beads of sweat form on her forehead.

The crowd rounds the corner. “There they are!” I hear somebody shout from the crowd.

“Twilight…” Spike nervously asks. The crowd starts charging towards us and they’re closing the distance fast.

“Twilight! Do it now!” I yell as her eyes jump open and a purple sphere encircles us.

I blink my eyes. We are standing in the middle of the library. A wave of nausea hits me immediately. I look at Spike and Twilight to see if they’re alright. Spike is scorched in multiple places (How is that possible? He’s a dragon that is resistant to fire!) and Twilight is shaking her head and groaning. “Is this how it normally feels to teleport?”

Twilight blinks her eyes are few times. “No. I’ve never tried teleporting three beings at once.” Spike brushes himself off.

I let out a loud belch. The relief I feel is immediate. “We have bigger problems on our hands, namely a crowd bent on getting a ticket! Now, quick! Lock the doors and turn off the lights!” We scramble around locking all the doors, blowing out candles, and turning lights off. We slam the front door shut and slump down to the floor. “Since we never got to eat, how about we head to the kitchen and get a proper meal?” I look down at the floor and can barely see, thanks to the moonlight shining in from the windows, a cupcake sitting there. “When I said a proper meal, I didn’t mean a cupcake. But thanks anyway, Twi.” I grab the cupcake and take a massive bite out of it.

“Uh, Blake? I didn’t give you a cupcake.” My eyes go wide as I swallow. I let the cupcake fall out of my hand as the lights flick on. I see the rest of the girls sitting on the other side of the room smiling. If this was a horror movie, I’d be dead right now. Twilight screams at the sight of them

“I can’t decide! You all have very good reasons and I don’t want to disappoint you,” The girls expressions drop to frowns and they avoid eye contact, “because every one of you is my friend and each of you deserve to be happy and I can’t make you all happy!” Twilight falls to the floor and buries her head in her hands.

The girls all look at each other then hang their heads in shame. “We’re sorry, Twilight,” They apologize.

“I know how to solve this once and for all,” Every head turns. “Since you can’t decide, Twilight, just send the tickets back saying that if all your friends can’t go, then you don’t want to go.”

“What!?” The girls, except Twilight, yell.

“Do any of you have a better idea?” I ask, to which their answer is silence, “That’s what I thought.”

“That’s a great idea!” Twilight gets a scroll and quill and writes out the letter. “Do you still have the tickets, Blake?” I reach into my pocket and pull two of them out. She magically grips them and brings them over to her. “There’s only two here? Where’s the third?”

I pat my pocket. “I’m keeping that one.”

“But you’ll be all alone. Wouldn’t it be better with your friends?”

I blink a couple of times. “You all consider me a friend? I barely even know you girls.”

“Of course we consider you a friend! Right, girls?”

“Of course you’re my friend silly! I mean, I am throwing my ‘Welcome to Ponyville weird creature, I’m your first friend Pinkie Pie’ party! But now I’ll have to change it from weird creature to Blake because everypony needs to know your name cause if they don’t—”

Applejack places her hand over Pinkie’s mouth. “Any friend of Twilight’s is ah friend of mine.”

“You seem cool enough, I guess.”

“I consider you a friend. If it’s okay with you.”

“I am proud to consider you a friend, dear.”

“Awesome! Another dude to hang with!”

I smile slightly and feel wetness in the corner of my eye. No one has ever considered, let alone called me, a friend before in my life. It feels like a hole in my heart is being filled. That empty, hollow feeling I felt my entire life feels distant. Maybe being stuck here isn’t so bad. I turn my head and wipe my eye. “Thanks girls… and Spike,” I hand to ticket over to Twilight. “You’re right. Being with friends is better than being alone.”

Twilight smiles and places the tickets in the scroll before rolling it up and giving it to Spike. He sends it off and we sit around talking about our day. Spike grabs his stomach and belches out a scroll. I grab it before Twilight or Spike can.

“Let’s see here. My most faithful student, yada yada yada, should of said something in the beginning, yada yada yada, insist you come,” My eyes go wide and I grin. I flash the eight tickets, “Looks like we can party after all! And one for you too, Spike!” The girls shout in joy and stomp their hooves.

My stomach growls at the exact same time as Twilight’s. Rarity steps forward. “Let us treat you both to dinner. It’s the least we could do for the way we acted.”

I shake my head. “While I appreciate the offer, I must decline. As Twilight and I already found out, most of the food here I can’t eat so I’m probably better off getting something to eat at my place.” I pass the tickets out to all of them and walk out the door. “I’ll see you girls tomorrow!”

I get to my place and kick off my boots, immediately heading for the kitchen. I browse my freezer and pull out three turkey burgers. I fire up my little George Foreman grill and cook them to perfection. I grab a bottled water and sit down, scarfing down the burgers. After making sure the grill is off, I head for the shower. I let the water bathe over me until I feet clean again. After drying myself off and changing into a pair of sleep pants, I crawl under the covers. Getting into a nice, comfortable position, I let my mind wander as I drift off to sleep, awaiting what the next day has in store for me.

This Calls For A Party!

“Permanent Vacation”

This Calls For A Party!

I sit up and yawn. That was the best sleep I had in a long time. I crack my neck and back as I look at the clock which reads eight. I get up out of bed and go through my daily routine. After I finished my routine, I changed into a black Woodstock themed peace symbol t-shirt and a pair of tan cargo shorts before going to the kitchen. As I poured myself a bowl of Applejacks (Irony!), I thought about how to get the town to accept me more. I throw a bunch of thoughts around in my head until settling on a single plan. I need to show the town that I’m a fun guy to be around and not another threat waiting to devour their souls or something. Throwing the bowl in the sink and putting on some shoes, I left and immediately went straight to Twilight’s. My plan would probably work better if Twilight started Phase One.

It took some convincing on my part for Twilight to trust me and go along with my plan. I had to explain to her that I needed everybody in town gathered at city hall so that I could show them I’m not a bad guy and they have no reason to fear me. It would probably make it easier if she was with when I talked with the mayor anyway, what with the fact that everypony already fears me. Whenever she pried me for more info on the plan, I diverted her questions. She eventually relented and agreed to help me. And so we walked to city hall.

As we enter, I thought to myself that it looks exactly how I pictured it. The walls are painted a dark brown with a grey molding along the floor. Potted plants dot the room along with a few tables and chairs. A newspaper sat at each table, along with multiple magazines. Hanging on the walls are pictures of previous mayors and artwork of Ponyville. Little speakers mounted in the corners of the room play music that reminds me of waiting in an elevator.

Sitting behind a curved desk is a brown earth pony with a black mane who is sorting through piles of scrolls. She even looks the part of a secretary with her grey formal suit.

Turns out being the Princess’s prized student pays off for Twilight. The receptionist didn’t even try to stop us. She only glances at us as we walk in on the Mayor, Ivory Scroll, in her navy blue formal suit, approving bills.

“Good morning, Mayor!” Twilight says as Ivory glances up. She smiles at her before her eye’s travel in my direction. Unlike most ponies, she seems unfazed by me.

“Good morning to you too as well, Miss Sparkle. What brings you two to my office?”

I step forward. “Hello, my name is Blake. I must ask before we go any further, why haven’t you freaked out like most ponies? Not that I’m complaining…”

“Princess Celestia sent word that you would be living here and that you were to be treated like any other pony. While I may not be thrilled by this, I still have a duty to respect the wishes of the Princess. Oh, and before I forget,” She reaches under her desk and tosses a small pouch to me, “she also said that you would be receiving this every two weeks, much like Miss Sparkle here.”

I open up the pouch and can’t believe what I see. The pouch is filled with small yellow coins. I assume that these are bits. There must be like three-hundred bits in here! Still gotta play dumb about this stuff though. “What exactly are these?”

“Those are bits, the currency here in Equestria.”

“Okay, but why am I receiving these?”

“The Princess felt that with your sudden change of surroundings, a job wouldn’t be the best thing for you right now.”

“Alright! As the saying goes, never look a gift horse in the mouth!” I pocket the pouch and jump back to the reason we’re here before they can question my turn of phrase. “Anyway, I would like to ask you to gather all the ponies in Ponyville so I can have a proper introduction and alleviate some of their fears. After all, you of all ponies should know on the importance of public image,” Time to sweeten the deal, “And just think how this will go down in history. You, Mayor Ivory Scroll, being the first pony to officially welcome a foreign being to Ponyville. You’ll be praised throughout the town for averting a potential crisis.”

“Yes, that would improve my chances of being reelected. Very well then, I’ll send word around town that I’ll have an important announcement within the hour. Quick Scroll!”

“Yes, Mayor?” A high yet professional sounding voice in the other room said, which I assume belongs to the secretary.

“Gather the seven couriers and bring them to my office.”

“Right away, but I regret to inform you that one of the couriers quit yesterday, muttering something about division and walking a lonely road.”

“We can make do with the six we have.”

We didn’t have to wait long as six ponies, two of each species, came in. All of them wear the same blue, mailman uniform. They shift around uncomfortably on their hooves once they notice I am in the room. I don’t recognize any of them except for one grey, wall-eyed mare with blond hair. I inwardly smile at the sight of Derpy as Ivory instructed them to gather everybody in front of city hall. They nod and give a sharp salute before exiting the building. Now we play the waiting game.

I play the plan out over in my head while we wait. Phase One had gone according to plan since a large crowd grew within just thirty minutes, putting my plan way ahead of schedule. I’m certain I wouldn’t have gotten a crowd this large if they knew I am hiding in city hall. Once Twilight meticulously checks off every pony in Ponyville on her checklist, the announcement begins.

We had planned it out that I would hide inside until my cue. I hear Ivory’s muffled voice thank each pony for coming and that she had important news before introducing Twilight as the next speaker. I paced in front of the double doors as Twilight started her little speech she had prepared. So many things could go wrong here. Would they stay afraid of me forever? I take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I stopped when I heard a voice outside yell, “Get on with it!” which was followed by a loud, “YEEEAAAAHHHH!” I couldn’t help my snickering.

“Fine!” I hear Twilight say, “Ponyville, may I present to you the human, Blake!” That is my cue. It’s show time. I push open the double doors and stride towards the podium set up at the top of the steps, fully aware of the gasps and shocked looks on the faces of the crowd.

I clear my throat before leaning in to the microphone. “Greetings everybody! My name is Blake and it looks like I’ll be staying here in Ponyville for the time being. Now, think of this as an informal meet and greet since I’ll answer any questions you have to help remove some concerns you have about me.”

I see a hand shoot up in the middle of the crowd. “Where are you from?” A female voice asks.

“From a place called Earth. And before anyone asks, I have no idea where it is according to here. It could be in a different universe or dimension for all I know.”

“So, you’re an alien?” Another voice yells out.

I make a rolling motion with my hand. “In a sense of the word, yes.”

“Are you dangerous?” A gruff male sounding voice asks.

I rub the back of my head. “Everybody can be dangerous, but if you’re asking if I’ll hurt any of you, then no. I’m not some evil being bent on destroying the world, just another person trying to get by each and every day.” I see the crowd visibly relax.

Multiple hands shoot up and I point to a random one. “So, do you have a tail?” The owner of the yellow hand asks.

“To avoid further questions like this, I’ll list everything I don’t have. I don’t have a tail, wings, a horn, magic, hooves, equine ears, and most likely a different metabolism.”

“Blake, I think that’s enough questions for now,” Twilight whispers to me.

“Sorry everybody, but that’s all the time I have. But I ain’t done yet. To show my gratitude for letting me stay here and accepting me, I’m going to be hosting a…” I pause for a couple of seconds, “Party! And all of you are invited!” At the sound of this, most of the crowd cheers. After all, who doesn’t love a good party? I have to admit that this went better than expected.

As I expected, Pinkie shoots up from somewhere in the back of the crowd into the sky like a firework. How in the world does she do these things?! “Wooohooo! Now I can throw my party and you can throw yours! This is going to be superawesomefantasticly great!”

Once the crowd calms down enough, I continue. “Don’t get excited yet. I’m sure Pinkie can provide the food and drinks but I still need a venue. Does anybody know of any clubs that got the wubs? Again, as I expected, a certain white unicorn with neon, electric blue hair wearing a set of large magenta sunglasses, a pair of headphones, a blue shirt under a white jacket, and purple pants burst through the crowd and stands in front of the podium. Thankfully, Vinyl Scratch lives in Ponyville and not in Canterlot like some fan fictions I read.

“Did somepony say they needed a club with the wubs?!”

“And just who are you?”

“Vinyl Scratch is the name! Dropping the bass is my game!”

“Okay, so you’re definitely the DJ for the party, but I still need a venue.”

“I got ya covered. Check it! We could use my club, The Bass Kick, on the other side of town for this party!”

I point at Vinyl and yell out to the crowd, “Looks like we have the DJ and venue so this party is on! I’m kicking this off at nine sharp so be there! Oh, and no kids of any kind!” The crowd cheers again before dispersing.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Twilight asks.

“Relax, Twilight. This party is probably one of the best ideas I’ve had in a long time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a party to set up. Yo, Pinkie!”

Her upside down head pokes down from the roof. How is she on the roof? “Yeah?”

“Think you can handle the food and drinks for the party?”

She smiles as wide as she can and gives a mock salute. “You can count on your friend, Pinkie Pie! And that’s a Pinkie Promise!” She does the motions then withdraws her head.

I motion for Vinyl to follow me as I head for my place. “I just need to grab a few things from my place then we can get to work on setting up this party.” She nods and follows me, bobbing her head to whatever music she is listening to. Once we reach my place, I grab some more appropriate party clothes and my iPod along with its charger. I step back outside and nod to Vinyl, who smiles and starts walking away as I fall in step behind her. Phase Two has gone according to plan.

“Now this is a club!” I shout, staring in awe at how awesome this club is. It is a two floor building with plenty of booths and tables to seat the entire town. The center of the club is dominated by a large, polished dance floor. At the very back of the dance floor sits a stage with two massive speakers on the sides and a DJ booth hanging directly above it. Off to the left is a bar but the shelves are empty. So it looks like this world has alcohol after all. Everywhere I look, neon lights assault my eyes. “This party is going to be amazing!”

“So, what kind of music were you thinking of playing?”

“Before we decide on the music, mind if I see your DJ booth?”

“Sure,” She said, heading up to the second floor. I follow her up and into the booth. “This is where the magic happens.” She waves her hand at her setup.

I whistle. “This is a sweet rig! I wonder if you have it…” I pull out my iPod.

“Ah, sweet! Is that the new iApple?”

“This isn’t an iApple,” I hold up the iPod, “It is an iPod, a similar thing to your iApple if it allows you to listen to music anywhere. And to answer you’re last question, I’m looking for a way to play my music through your rig.”

“Give it here! If it’s anything like an iApple, then I know what to do,” I hand the iPod to her and she plugs it into a slot on the top of her table, the jacks fitting perfectly together. “Let’s test this baby out!”

Browsing through my music list for a suitable song, I come to Love Like Woe and play it. Our ears are blasted with sweet music as I smile and look at Vinyl, who grins back and bobs her head in time with the music. We let the song finish before speaking again.

“What did you think of that?” I ask Vinyl, who is looking at me with a grin.

“Awesome song! You certainly have a radical taste in music!”

“Thanks! Now, I was thinking of doing these songs during the party and one special song at the end.” I scroll through the list and play all the songs I intend to use.

Eight-thirty rolls around and everything is ready. Pinkie arrived early with a wagon load of pastries and drinks which she spread out on the bar. I told her to stay behind the bar and act like we’re having a surprise party. Vinyl is prepping herself for the gig, going over the music playlist one last time and making sure all the lights and special effects work. I change out of my clothes and into the black dress shirt and pants in brought. I then tape a note outside on the front doors directing the guests to follow the lights on the floor to the dance floor. I glance at the clock on the wall. I have five minutes till nine. One last thing to take care of.

I look up at Vinyl in the booth above me and give her a thumbs up. She nods her head and shuts off all the lights, save for the floor lights. I stand on the stage facing the front doors, mentally prepping myself for what I’m about to do, when the doors open, the moonlight outside briefly illuminating some figures. They follow my instructions and make their way to the dance floor as plenty more ponies come in. They can’t see me standing right in the center of the stage.

“I wonder what kind of hootenanny Blake’s got planned out.”

“I-I-It’s very dark in here.” I hear a soft eep.

“Don’t worry, Fluttershy. This place is awesome! I’ve been here plenty of times. Nothing bad has ever happened. Not while I’m around!”

“Are you sure this is the right place, Twilight? It seems so… empty.”

“This is the place, Rarity. I’m sure of it. But you’re right, it’s just too quiet. Blake? Are you here?”

It’s show time. I stomp my foot, again hearing an eep, which is the signal for Vinyl to play DJ Got us Falling In Love and turn on a lone spotlight focused on me. Vinyl flicks the rest of the lights on as I dance to the song, remembering the moves from Dance Central Two by heart. Throughout the song, I glance at the crowd to see them dancing along. Some of them are even trying to copy me in dance style, and doing pretty well. The song finishes and I flawlessly strike the finishing pose. Stomping of hooves and cheering greet my ears as I take a bow.

I stand back up and yell to the crowd, “Thank you all for coming! I have one more surprise planned for later in the night but right now, let’s get this party started!” I motion for Vinyl to start the playlist of hip hop, pop, and dubstep.

I wander around the club, partaking in Pinkie’s treats, chatting it up with the ponies that warmed up to me, and busting some moves on the dance floor. The girls seem to be enjoying themselves. Twilight is again trying to dance but… no, just no. Applejack and Rainbow Dash are having a dance off in the middle of the floor. It’s kinda hard to tell who is winning but it seems to me that Rainbow Dash is a slightly better dancer. Pinkie… I honestly don’t know. I can’t keep track of her. One minute she’s eating some food and then the next she’s hanging from the ceiling lights. Rarity is in one of the corners with a group of mares, giggling at random intervals. I can only assume that they are gossiping. And Fluttershy… Where is she? I haven’t seen her since the start of the party but I know I heard her. I start searching the place, looking for any sign of the butter yellow pegasi. I eventually find her in a corner booth, squeezed as far back as possible.

I try to smile as warmly as possible as I slide in beside her. “I would like to talk to you.”

“O-O-Okay.”

“What’s wrong? I thought you’d be hanging with your friends.”

She keeps glancing from my face to the table. “Yes, but it’s just that the music is so loud and scary and there’s so many ponies.”

“Fluttershy,” I inwardly sigh at what I’m about to say. I wrap my arm around her and pull her close. She flinches slightly but makes no effort to resist, “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll sit with you for the rest of the night.”

She turns her head to look at me. “Oh, that’s okay. Go enjoy your party. I’ll just sit here and...”

“Fluttershy, if I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have offered.”

Fluttershy fidgets in her seat. “Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to stop you from having fun.”

“As long as I’m with my friends, I’ll always have fun, no matter what.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

We sit in peace, with my arm wrapped around Fluttershy and her leaning into me, for most of the party as it rages on around us. After a good hour or two of sitting there, I get up from the table. “How about I get us something to eat?”

“Oh, yes please. That is, if you don’t mind.” I head for the buffet bar and grab a cupcake and donut before heading back. The rest of the girls are sitting at the table. I squeeze in next to Fluttershy and place the cupcake and donut in front of her. She lightly nods her head and starts eating the cupcake.

“Awesome party, Blake!” Rainbow holds her hand out towards me. I fist bump her back as the girls all agree with Rainbow’s statement. We laugh and joke around, pleasantly enjoying ourselves. The entire time, Fluttershy nudges closer and closer to me until she leans against me… again. A content smile is on her face which causes me to smile. This is nice. Just relaxing and listening to great music with not a single care in the world.

I’m snapped back to reality when I hear Double Vision come on. Right now, this song matches my feelings perfectly so I can’t help mouthing along with it and neither can the girls once they hear the chorus. When the song ends, I gently push Fluttershy off me and stand up. I head for the stage but stop and turn around, holding my hand out. “You coming, Fluttershy?”

“Oh, okay.” She stands up and follows me.

I motion to the rest of the girls. “You too, girls. I have one last surprise in store for everyone.” They all get up and follow me as well. I walk up to the center of the stage and motion for the girls to line up behind me. They glance amongst themselves but do as I instructed.

I let out a shrill whistle. “Listen up!” Every head turns to face me, “As you all should know, these six girls up here represent the Elements of Harmony. It is because of these six girls and the friendships they formed that all of Equestria was saved from Nightmare Moon. Let’s hear it for them!” Everybody claps along with me. Once the clapping dies down, I turn to face the girls.

“On a more personal level, I would like to say thank you,” I bow, “for trusting me when I came to this world. For giving me a chance when no one else would. For being my friends,” I stand back up. “I would now like to dedicate this song to you, girls, for everything.” You Got a Friend in Me starts and I’m tackled to the ground by the girls, who are hugging me. All except Rainbow Dash, who is standing off to the side and trying her best to look away.

“Damn it! Now you got me acting sappy!” She yells before diving into the hug as well. I laugh and hug them all back. This is probably one of the best parties I’ve ever thrown. This will be a day I’ll never forget.

My plan works and the party is a complete success. After the crowd left, cheering for me as they walked out the door, Vinyl and I got to work on cleaning up after the crowd. Although there wasn’t much to clean up in the first place, so I thanked Vinyl for the use of her place with around seventy-five bits. She only nodded in response and went back to clearing the buffet bar. I grab my iPod and clothes and head home for the night. I check the clock on the iPod, which surprisingly still has full battery power for some odd reason, to see what time it is. To my surprise, it says one in the morning. I really need to get some sleep if I was to be ready for whatever this world threw at me next.

Griffon the Brush-Off or You Just Got Punked

“Permanent Vacation”

Griffon the Brush-Off or You Just Got Punked

Today is Saturday. True to her word, a crate from Celestia arrived on my front porch right after breakfast. Dragging the crate inside, I notice there is a scroll attached to the top. I grab it and unroll it. In essence, the scroll states that the crate has an enchantment on it to keep items within refrigerated for extended periods of time and that if I ever need more to contact Celestia. I open up the crate and am greeted with the sight of fresh meat, already shaped into patties. I move the crate beside the fridge so it’s out of the way.

I found out from the townspeople that it was Applebuck season, so I refused to go outside and deal with a tired, confused, and stubborn Applejack causing chaos around town. I did the next best thing, which was to stay inside all day and enjoy a game marathon of Skyrim. I’m serious. I spent the entire day playing Skyrim without any disturbances, killing trolls and looting in the name of the Nine Divines (Praise be to Talos!). I called it quits at around ten that night.

I awoke the next morning, refreshed for the day ahead. I’d need to be since if I remember right, today or tomorrow should be the day Gilda comes to town. I’d finish my morning routine and throw on a t-shirt with the classic Abby Road cover plastered on the front of it and a pair of black cargo shorts. After I throw on my shoes, I open the door, ready to deal with-

“Stop! Look down,”A voice screams in my head as I freeze mid-step.

I listen to the voice and look down, seeing a small strand of string in front of the door at about the height of my foot. I hear snickering come from a nearby bush off to my left. Thank God I listened to that voice. I completely forgot that Rainbow and Pinkie are pranking the town. Well, I won’t give them the satisfaction of pranking me. I’d rather join them in pranking the town, but that doesn’t mean I can’t screw with them beforehand. I smack my head, acting like I forgot something, and walk back inside.

I head for the window in my room and open it, climbing outside so that I’m now at the backside of my house. I quietly close the window before sneaking around the left side. Peering around the corner, I spot a rainbow tail sticking out of the bush and the pranking device situated on my roof. It turns out the string in front of the door is a decoy. The prank looks like a catapult that would fling a pie into my face when a string attached to the catapult was pulled. The real string led right into the bush where Pinkie and Rainbow are hiding. I smile and silently curse them for almost pranking me. I seriously considered just cutting the wire and believing everything was safe when I first saw the decoy. I creep up behind the bush.

I put a wicked grin on my face and dive headfirst into the bush, screaming, “Here’s Johnny!”

Their reactions are priceless. Pinkie screams and runs away only to smack into a lamppost, while Rainbow shouts and flies right towards the front door, completely forgetting the string in her hand. I watch as the trap springs, the catapult launching the pie. It swings down and plows into Rainbow on the left side of her face. I burst out laughing at them. Pinkie recovers from smacking the lamppost and laughs as well when she sees Rainbow.

“Dashie, you got a little something on your face.” Pinkie says before resuming her laughing. Rainbow shakes her head, cream covering her face. She glares at me.

“Yeah, Dash, looks like you got… Creamed!” Pinkie and I are rolling on the ground at this point. Through teary eyes, I look at Rainbow to see her laughing with us. Our laughter eventually dies down and Rainbow wipes the cream from her face.

“How’d you know?”

“I didn’t at first but I got this weird feeling telling me to look down. When I saw the string, I figured it was a prank. I also didn’t know where you were until you decided to snicker.”

She facepalms. “Damn it!”

Pinkie’s eye light up and I swear I hear a ding. “Do you want to come pranking with us? We could totally have bigger and better pranks! It’ll be fun!”

“I don’t know. I was planning on seeing what Twilight is doing.”

Rainbow wraps her hand around me. “Come on, Blake! This will be way better than whatever egghead stuff Twilight is doing.”

“Alright, you talked me into it.”

“Yes!” Rainbow high fives Pinkie, “This is gonna be so awesome!”

The town fell beneath our pranking might. With our combined pranking knowledge, we were unstoppable. Nobody was safe in our travels across town. We replaced all of Twilight’s inkwells with disappearing ink, painted some of the apples in Sweet Apple Acres in random colors, messed with Rarity's fashions by adding random objects to the finished design, and so much more. Most ponies, once they found out it was a prank, laughed along with us.

Right now, we are standing by a lake on the outskirts of town. Pinkie and I are snickering over the black ink we put over the eyepiece of the telescope Rainbow is looking through. “So, Dash, who’s our next victim?

Rainbow turns to look at us. I couldn’t hold back the snickering when I see a black ring around her left eye. “Fluttershy is almost in position so be ready to pull that string when I say so. Got it?” she says before turning to look back into the telescope.

I immediately stop laughing. “Hold up. There is no way I’m pranking Fluttershy.”

“Yeah, Dashie, pranking Fluttershy is just wrong!”

“But—”

“There is no way in hell you can get me to do anything to scare or harm her! There are some people you prank and some you just don’t.” Pinkie nods in agreement with me.

Rainbow sighs. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But who are we gonna prank next?” She turns to look at us. Pinkie and I break out laughing. She cocks her head to the side. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh Dashie, you were so busy with that telescope that me and Blake went ahead and pranked somepony else already!”

“Really? Who was it?”

I point to the lake. “Take a look for yourself. I’m sure you’ll get an eyeful.”

Rainbow just shrugs and walks towards the lake. “So, who exactly am I looking for?”

“Oh, it’s just somebody really close to you,” I say, Pinkie and I walking up beside her.

She reaches the edge of the lake and looks around. “But there’s nopony here.” I point into the water. She looks in and sees her reflection. She bursts out laughing as well. “Good one, guys!”

The sun was setting over the horizon, coating the land a tinge of orange. “It’s been fun, girls, but it’s getting late so I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

“Itotallyforgottofinishbakingthosecupcakesforthe CakesitwassuperduperfuntodaybutIgottagonowseeyoutomorrowbye!” I look at the spot where Pinkie was standing only to see a pink blur dashing down the road.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow, Blake. All this pranking really tired me out.”

I cross my arms and look at Rainbow. “Oh really? How can you be tired when every other waking moment you’re napping?”

“Hey!” Rainbow jabs a finger into me, “Being as awesome as me takes a lot of work!”

I just chuckle and walk away, yelling over my shoulder, “Sure it does, Rainbow, sure it does. Anyway, get some rest, Miss Awesome. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

After my morning routine, I grabbed my iPod and headed out, dressed in a black t-shirt and blue basketball shorts, to meet Gilda or, at the very least, get some photographic evidence of Gilda being a complete ass to the town. I only take a few steps when I’m tackled to the ground. I groan. If this is how my day is going to be, then I probably should have never left my home.

I hear giggles and the pressure on my chest is lifted. “Whoopsi. Sorry Blake, I didn’t see you there. I was in such a rush to see Dashie about pranking today and then I started thinking about new pranks and how to incorporate—”

I sit up and shove my hand over Pinkie’s mouth. “Enough! I need coffee if I’m going to spend another minute around you.” She pulls my hand down. Reaching behind a nearby tree a fair distance away, she pulls out a steaming cup of coffee and hands it to me. I take the cup from her, frowning at the absurd lack of logic here. “How in the world did you reach behind that tree from over here and why is a cup of coffee behind it?” I take a sip. Black and strong, just the way I like it.

“It isn’t that far away. See?” She demonstrates by reaching behind the tree and pulling out a muffin. “And I keep emergency stashes around Ponyville in case of emergencies, like coffee for hangovers!”

“One day Pinkie, I’m going to figure out just how you manage to be… You.” I down the coffee and Pinkie devours the muffin. I hand the cup to Pinkie, who just stashes it in her hair, and stand up. “So, you ready for an epic day of pranking with Rainbow?”

“Uh, duh! It wouldn’t be epic if Dashie wasn’t there!” She yells as she skips away. “Come on! I know some great traveling music!” She takes a deep breath while I look around for the source of the music I hear.

As much as I tried to resist, I couldn’t help singing along with Pinkie. Apparently, the town agreed with me as well since they joined in at random intervals. How Pinkie gets an entire town, including me, to sing along is beyond me. Also, how does she know that song? I make a mental note to figure this out later. As soon as the song finishes, the ponies that joined in disperse. Pinkie and I laugh, planning our pranks out as we walk the rest of the way to Rainbow’s house.

“How about we put hot sauce in some ice cream and give it to a random pony?” I say. I ignore Pinkie’s response as Rainbow’s house, no, palace would be the correct term, comes into view. I gaze in awe at the Roman styled columns, the massive rainbow falls, and the overall open, airy design of it. I know it was shown multiple times in the show but to see it in person is overwhelming.

I’m snapped back to reality when I hear Pinkie yell, “Rise and shine, Rainbow Dash!” Gilda pokes her head out and looks down at us. Rainbow pokes her head out shortly after.

“Morning you two!” Rainbow flies down and lands beside Pinkie. “Gilda, these are my friends, Pinkie Pie and Blake.”

Gilda lands on the ground in front of us. She’s about the same height as ponies but more muscular than them. She is wearing a white shirt under a black jacket and black cargo pants. She turns away from us before speaking. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Guys, this is my griffon friend, Gilda.”

Before Pinkie can respond, I answer her question. “A griffon is a creature that is half lion and half eagle.”

Gilda wraps her arm around Rainbow. “And all awesome!” Rainbow pushes her away, and then they do a complicated hand shake.

“Gilda’s my friend from junior flight camp. Do you still remember the chant?”

“Pfft, yeah. They made us recite it every day. It was the lamest thing ever.” Rainbow nods her head towards us and raises her eyebrows. Gilda sighs. “This one time, only for you.” Rainbow bolts into the air while Gilda lazily follows her up, chanting the, well, chant.

After they finish and land, Pinkie and I start laughing. I have never seen anything more humiliating than that in my entire life. Rainbow just brushes it off while Gilda is glaring at me and Pinkie.

“Anyway,” I say as our chuckles die down, “the reason me and Pinkie came over here is that we’re pranking the town today. Are you two game?”

“Huh,” Gilda idly examines her talons, “While I enjoy a good prank, Dash here promised me a flying session.” Before we could respond, Gilda takes off into the air and starts flying towards the mountains in the distance.

“Right! Sorry guys, I’ll catch up with you two later.” Rainbow takes off and follows Gilda.

Pinkie lets out a sigh. I turn and see her hair losing some of its puffiness. I pat her on the back. “Come on, Pinkie, Dash will be along later. For now, we need to get back to pranking! We’re burning precious daylight!”

Her mane returns to its natural look and she grins from ear to ear, bouncing in place. “You’re right! We have so many pranks to get to! Who should we prank first? Wait a minute,” She freezes mid bounce, “Did you put a kick me sign on my back?”

Damn, if only I had some paper and a pencil. I totally would have done that! But she doesn’t know that I didn’t. “No way would I put a kick me sign on you! I’d put a fuck me sign on you!” I burst out laughing.

“What?!” She whips her head around to look for the sign, her hands frantically searching her back, only to find nothing. It takes her only a second to realize what I did and she bursts out laughing as well. “You got me good! I was all like ‘what’ and you were laughing and I panicked and—”

“I hate to cut this short but there’s a town that’s in serious need of pranking from a pink pony and a human. Come on!” I yell as I sprint for the town, “Allons-y!”

“Wait for me!”

We had just finished pranking Rarity by squeezing a whoopee cushion every time she sat down… And moved. As we run away, laughing our heads off, I spot Rainbow and Gilda above, heading for a cloud. I nudged Pinkie. “Look. It’s Rainbow and Gilda. Think they’re ready for pranking yet?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” Pinkie walks beneath the cloud and pulls out a full size trampoline from behind a rock. She climbs on and starts bouncing.

My mind is conflicted. My knowledge of the show demands to let the trampoline appearance go and just blame it on Pinkie being Pinkie while the logic part insists that I solve how she did that. Unable to resist the urges any longer, I run over and examine every inch of the rock, looking for any way to explain how Pinkie did that. I sigh in defeat after finding nothing unusual about the rock. It’s just another rock, nothing more, nothing less.

I turn around and my mind screams in rage. Sitting before me is a strange pedal powered flying machine. Pinkie is attaching the final decoration, a flag with her Cutie Mark (You know, I really should find out if they even have Cutie Marks on their body here) on it, to the back as I take a deep breath. “Pinkie, what is this… thing, and why?”

“This,” She gestures with her hands, “Is my flying machine that will allow me to talk to Dashie and Gilda way up there.”

I look up and can still see Rainbow (Seriously though. How hard is it to miss rainbow hair in the sky?) and Gilda. Honestly, it doesn’t look that far from the ground to me. It would probably be more practical to yell up at this point and talk to them but I’ll let Pinkie have her fun. She climbs onto the pedals and steadily gains altitude. She hovers when she reaches the same height as the cloud. I’m surprised to find out that I was wrong with the hearing them from the ground. I can barely make out their mouths moving and yet, I hear nothing.

Rainbow takes off from the cloud and I see Gilda grab the propeller tower. Oh right, now I remember why I grabbed my iPod. I quickly pull it out and start recording the exchange between Pinkie and Gilda. Just like the show, Gilda grabs the propeller, causing the ROFLcopter, the name I have christened to it, to spin like a top. I watch as it loses control and crashes into the ground a short distance away. I’m pretty sure that no matter what world I’m in, that could be considered endangerment or attempted murder. I stop filming and rush over to the crash site. The ROFLcopter is in pieces but there is no sign of Pinkie.

“Blake! Over here!” I turn to see Pinkie with a parachute on dangling from a tree. “Could you help me down? I’m a little hung up at the moment.” She giggles at her pun.

I cut the ropes hanging her and she falls to the ground. “What happened?”

The smile on Pinkie’s face is replaced with a frown. “Gilda told me to get lost and leave her and Dash alone. She said that Dash doesn’t need us anymore now that she’s here.”

“Are you sure? Something seems off about Gilda but I don’t think she’d do something like this.”

“Of course I’m sure!”

“Alright, I believe you. Let’s just give them their space for now. Come on, I know what will cheer you up. Milkshakes on me!”

That trademark Pinkie smile is back. “Can I get a chocolate one?! Or how about a strawberry one?! Can I get both with a cherry on top?!”

I laugh. “You can get whatever you want. Now come on. Those milkshakes aren’t gonna get themselves.”

We are sitting outside Sugercube Corner. I am enjoying a simple vanilla milkshake while Pinkie drinks her chocostrawvanilla, as she calls it, shake. “So, Pinkie, I was thinking about what happened about Gilda earlier…”

Pinkie cocks her head. “And?”

“Are you sure you’re not jealous of Gilda?”

Pinkie slams her hands on the table. “What?! I’m not the jealous, judgmental, jealously type! Gilda’s just a big meanie!”

“Pinkie, just because Rainbow has another friend and can’t hang out with you right now, it doesn’t mean that Gilda is mean. Do you feel the same way about Twilight or Rarity when they do things together without you?”

Pinkie hangs her head. “No, I don’t feel that way.”

“You have to give people a chance to show their true selves. Maybe deep down, Gilda is in need of a few friends. And you know the best way to make friend is with a…?”

Pinkie lifts her head back up and smiles. “A party! Thanks, Blake. You really know how to cheer ponies up. Now,” she chugs the milkshake down and slams the glass back on the table, “I have a party to plan!” She zips off into Sugercube Corner and I just laugh. Good to see that she bounces back from situations like that. But I have more pressing matters to attend to right now.

I look up and watch as Rainbow and Gilda land on the other side of the market. They do a fist bump before Rainbow flies off. Gilda looks around and then heads to a vegetable stall. I pull out my iPod and film Gilda’s tail reaching into the apple buckets at the side of the stand and pulling out an apple, which she eats in a single bite. Might as well add theft to the list of crimes. I shut off the recording when I notice Fluttershy walking backwards through the market, leading a family of ducks to wherever. She bumps into Gilda.

“Hey! Watch it! I’m walking here!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see—”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Gilda mocks in imitation of Fluttershy. Gilda moves forward and Fluttershy moves back, eyes wide in fear. The duck family scatters. “Pay attention, dofus!”

“B-B-But…”

Gilda rears her head back and lets out a loud roar right in Fluttershy’s face. I see Fluttershy’s eyes tear up before she turns and runs crying out of the market. That’s it. I could have left the apple theft slide but causing Fluttershy to cry has invoked my fury. No one, and I mean no one, causes that kind hearted pony to cry. I down the milkshake and head for the library. That bitch is going to pay.

I reach the library and don’t even bother knocking as I open the door and walk in. Then again, why would I? It’s a public building. Twilight, Spike, and Pinkie are standing in the main room.

“There you are, Blake! I was just inviting Twilight and Spike to Gilda’s ‘Welcome to Ponyville, Gilda!’ party! Are you coming?”

“Oh, I’ll be there.” I crack my knuckles.

“Great! Now I just got to invite the rest of Ponyville! Bye!” Pinkie zips out the door, leaving a dust cloud in the exact shape of her in the middle of the room for a few seconds.

Twilight turns to me. “So, what can I help you with, Blake?”

“Do you mind if I borrow a quill, scroll, and Spike for a little bit?”

“What do you need me for?”

“You’re the only effective means of communication to the Princess.”

“You’re writing a letter to the Princess? You know, I could proofread it for—”

I hold my hand up. “Sorry, Twilight, but this letter is only meant for the eyes of me and the Princess.”

“Alright, I understand,” She levitates a quill and scroll over, “But if you need any help, I’ll be over here organizing some of the books by the first name of the author.”

“Thanks, Twilight.” I sit down in the corner and get to work writing the letter.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Its Blake here and I have some very important news to share with you. A childhood friend of Rainbow Dash’s, a griffon by the name of Gilda, came to town today. However, I have some very important news to share with you. Throughout the course of the day, I have witnessed Gilda commit crimes. These range from simple theft to nearly killing Pinkie by making her fall from the sky. It’s a long story with that last part and it makes my brain hurt just thinking about it, so I’m gonna chalk that one up to Pinkie being Pinkie. I’m not sure how serious a crime like theft is here, but it is still a crime. I would have told a local guard but this town has none. If you don’t believe me, I have film proving that Gilda committed these crimes. I await your swift response.

From, Blake

I roll up the scroll. “Spike, if you would be so kind.” I hold the scroll out to him.

“With pleasure!” He grabs the scroll from my hand and takes a deep breath before releasing green flames onto the scroll. I watch it turn into a purplish aura and fly out the window towards Canterlot.

“So, Blake, you’ve met Gilda. What’s she like?”

I close my eyes and lean back against the wall. “Hard to say but she seems friendly enough.” I mustn’t alert Twilight or anyone else that Gilda is mean just yet. I’m waiting to see what the Princess says first. I open my eyes when I hear Spike belch. Wow, that was fast. I grab the scroll and silently read it.

Dear Blake,

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. This Gilda is a fugitive from the Griffon kingdoms who recently escaped prison and is wanted for two counts of murder. She is considered to be very dangerous. I’m sending two royal guards to apprehend her and would like for you to assist them. They should arrive at the library within the hour. Good luck and may the sun guide you.

Princess Celestia

Well, shit. I wasn’t expecting for Gilda to be a wanted criminal. But it does kinda make sense why she came to Ponyville since there are no guards around and very few people who would know her past.

“What did the Princess say?” Spike asks.

“Nothing you need to worry about now.” I may seem calm on the outside, but inside, I’m screaming. Gilda, a very dangerous criminal, in a building full of ponies where one of the Elements resides. There are so many things that can go wrong with this.

“I’m heading out for the party early. You coming too, Blake?”

I shake my head. “Nah. Think I’ll relax here for a little bit.”

“Okay then. See you at the party. Come on, Spike.”

They walk out the door and leave me alone with my thoughts. I’m running thousands of scenarios through my head, some good and others gruesome, when a knock on the door interrupts me. I stand up and head for the door. Upon opening it, I’m greeted by two ponies decked out in sun yellow armor with blue detailing. The one of the left is a pegasi stallion with brown skin and a red mane while the one on the right is a unicorn mare with light blue skin and black mane with a single white streak running down the center. Both of them have a sheathed sword on their right hip.

The mare steps forward and nods. “I’m Light Step and this is my partner, Strong Will,” The stallion nods, “Of the Solar Guard.”

I nod back. “I’m Blake. I’m assuming that you’re the ones I’m helping with Gilda?”

“You would be correct. Now we must hurry before the target realizes we’re here,” Strong Will says.

“Right. Come on. I have a feeling I know exactly where she’s gonna be.”

I lead them to an alleyway across from Sugercube Corner where we have a perfect view of the main entrance. While they take up positions, I walk over and peek in one of the windows. I don’t see any sign of Gilda or any indication that the party had started. I walk back over to the alley and join the guards in observation.

“Any sign of the target?” Light Step asks me.

I shake my head. “No sign of her yet, but she’s bound to show up. This party is for her after all.” We sit in silence for a little longer till my curiosity gets the better of me. “So, what exactly are your talents?”

“What do you mean?” Strong Will asks.

“Usually when a group of people, or in this case ponies, are joined into an elite group, it’s because each one of them is an expert in a certain field, like stealth.”

Light looks at me and smirks. “If you ever need intel or a silent infiltration, I’m your mare.”

“You ever want to knock somepony out or just tire them out, I’m your stallion.” Strong Will says, his eyes fixated on the entrance of Sugercube Corner.

I look to the entrance and see Gilda and Rainbow landing outside. “There she is. That’s our target right there.”

We watch as Gilda and Rainbow enter Sugercube Corner. Light turns to me. “You’ve been here the longest. Are there any other entrances?”

I nod my head. “There should be a back door through the kitchen. There should also be a balcony on the second floor that goes through a bedroom.”

“I’ll alert you when I’m in.” Light’s horn glows a dark blue and she fades from sight.

We stand around waiting until Strong motions to move forward. “How do you know she’s ready?” I ask as we leave the alley and head for the main entrance.

“We have a telepathic link between us that allows for the sending and receiving of thoughts. She’s set up in the back corner by the steps, invisible mind you, with a clear view of the target.

We stack up beside the door, Strong on the left and I on the right. “So, how are we doing this? We burst in and take her by surprise or are we going to ask her to surrender first?

He smirks. “Are you kidding? They never surrender. Feel free to try though, but let’s hope she refuses. I’m itching for a fight.”

I smirk back. “I like the way you think.” I step in front of the door and kick it open with a loud bang. Strong and I quickly step in as everybody turns to look at us, shouting out in confusion.

“Surrender now, Gilda, by the order of Princess Celestia and the Griffon kingdoms! You’re going back to jail where you belong!” I yell loud enough for the room to get quiet.

Gilda flares her wings and glares at us. I can see the fire in her eyes. “I ain’t going back to jail!” She jumps straight towards me, her talons extended.

Thinking quickly, I roll forward underneath her. I know animals can smell fear so Gilda must be getting a pungent odor right about now. Coming up from the roll, I raise my fists and adopt a boxing stance. Strong dives towards her, but Gilda merely throws her arm out and knocks Strong against the wall. Light rushes her but Gilda grabs her and throws her against the wall as well.

Turning to me, Gilda adopts a similar stance and rushes forward. She swings but I jump back. Before she can move, I throw a right hook that connects with her face. She steps back and I press the attack. She sees this coming and delivers a swift uppercut to my gut. I bend over and grunt in pain. Before she can do anymore, I knee her in the gut and jump back. She groans in pain as I rush around to her backside and punch her in the back of the head. Her resulting kick hits me with enough force to push me away. I sprint forward, ready to throw another punch. Gilda spins off to the left and punches my face.

My vision blurs as I reel back from the hit. Reaching out, I grab the first thing my hand touches. Swinging whatever it is at Gilda, I’m rewarded with a sharp clang sound and Gilda shouting in pain. My vision clears up and I drop the tray in my hands.

“You have a weapon! Remember the sharp, pointy thing in your pocket?!”

“Right.” Grabbing my knife, I flick it open and hold it in my right hand.

Gilda turns around, laughing once she sees my knife. “You think that puny thing can stop me?! I’ve seen bigger weapons used by the griffon guards!”

I smirk. Rule one when fighting multiple opponents, always be aware of each opponent. “Probably not, but I’m pretty sure he can.”

“What are—” Was all she manages to get out before Strong tackles her to the ground. I look to my right and see Light beside me, horn glowing. I look back at the struggle to see that Gilda’s right half is covered in the same glow as Light’s horn, which is pinning her to the ground. Strong is still having trouble trying to pin down Gilda’s left half.

“Get over there and keep her from moving! I can’t contain her if she keeps struggling this much!” Light yells at me, sweat forming on her forehead.

I rush over and jam my foot as hard as I can where Gilda’s wings attach to her body. I rewarded with a crunch and Gilda screaming in pain (Note to self. When taking on winged opponents, always go for where the wings connect to the body). It’s enough of a distraction for Strong to pin Gilda down long enough for the glow to seep over and completely pin her to the ground except for her head. I walk over in front of Gilda and bend down so I’m right in front of her.

“You’ll regret this!” She snarls, venom laced in her words.

I laugh and cup her chin in my left hand while my right hand puts the knife back in my pocket. “I probably will, but right now, you’ll regret your actions from today.” I ball my right hand into a fist and pull back before throwing everything I have into the punch. Her head snaps to her right as I connect. “This is for Fluttershy and Pinkie!” I yell before rearing back for another punch. I don’t remember how many punches I throw before I’m pulled away.

“That’s enough, Blake!” Strong yells as he pulls me back.

“That bitch deserves more! She hurt somebody I care about!” I glare at Gilda, who now has a black eye and is coughing blood up. I look at the faces of everybody else in the room to see them staring wide eyed at me. Twilight is covering up Spike’s ears (Speaking of which, does he even have ears? Are they those green fins on the side of his head?). I look at my hands which have flecks of blood on them.

Oh God, what have I done? I let anger get in the way of logic. Look at what it cost me, the trust of my friends and the town to be replaced with fear. I stand up and rush out the door, getting as far away from Ponyville as possible. I need to be alone right now.

I find a tree on a hill overlooking the town and take refuge underneath it. The sun is setting and probably looks spectacular from up here but I am far too busy being curled up in a ball with my eyes closed. I shouldn’t be in this world. I broke the trust of these ponies that I have come to call my friends. They’ll never be able to forgive me. I let my anger get the better of me and it clouded my judgment. All my anger from games, haters, and life in general, I kept inside me. It’s not healthy, I know, but I had no other forms of stress relief. Today, I let it all out in those punches. This is not me. Today, I became the monster that I always promised myself I’d never become.

I don’t know how long I sat there under that tree, listening to the world around me, when I start singing. I sing out loud, tearing up as I go further into the song. I look up when I finish, seeing the last rays of sunshine disappearing along the horizon. I mentally laugh at how metaphorical that is right now.

“Blake?” I turn to my left to see the girls coming towards me.

“How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to hear you sing,” Twilight says.

“It doesn’t matter. What do you want anyway? Chase me out of town? Throw me into a dungeon?” I sigh and hang my head, “Do whatever you wish. I probably deserve it.”

“We would like to thank you.”

I jerk my head back up. “Thank me? I thought everybody would be afraid of me now that they know what I’m capable of. What I can do when pushed far enough.”

“They were dearie, until those royal guards explained what Gilda was wanted for.”

“I told everypony what Gilda did to me in the market. Um, thank you for standing up for me. ”

“I told them what Gilda said to me and how she almost made me crash into the ground! I told you she was a big mean meanie pants!”

“Gilda confessed ta everything.”

“I hate to see Gilda like that, but if you ask me, she got what she deserved.” Even though she is trying to hide it, I can see the crushing disappointment on Rainbow’s face.

“Wait. You mean to tell me that you want to thank me because I helped take down a dangerous criminal?” They all nod, “But aren’t you afraid of what you saw me become back there, a creature fueled by anger and vengeance?”

Twilight comes over and places a hand on my shoulder. “We know who you are and what you’re like. You would never go out of your way to hurt others without a justified reason, and Gilda being a wanted criminal is justified in my book. You just lost yourself to emotions. It happens to the best of anypony.”

“You’re right, but I still lost the trust of everybody in town.”

“Actually, everypony in town applauded for you when they found out what Gilda did. Even though Gilda was dangerous, you still stood up to her.”

“We may be ah fairly large town sugercube, but we treat each other like family. Ya mess with one pony, ya mess with the town.”

I pull Twilight into a hug and motion for the rest of the girls to join in. “Thank you, all of you, for telling me this. I’m sorry for the way I acted with Gilda. I just couldn’t stand the thought of someone like that hurting my friends when I knew I could do something about it. It’s just that all my anger over the years finally found a release.” After our hug is over, I stand up. “It’s been a long day for all of us so how’s about we head home and get some rest?” They all nod in agreement.

We each went our separate ways as we walk through town. As Twilight and I near the library, I ask her, “So, what did they do with Gilda?”

“The guards cast a stasis spell on her and loaded her onto their chariot. She’ll be sent back to the griffon kingdoms where she will stand trial for her crimes.”

“Let’s hope her trial is fairer than what I would have given her,” Twilight opens the library door and starts to step inside but I put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. “Thanks again for still trusting me, even after you’ve seen what I can do.”

She smiles and nods. “Nopony blames you for the way you acted. We’re just glad you and those guards were there to stop her before she did something dangerous to anypony.”

I smile back. Waving to her, I head home. I’m ready to put this day behind me.

Author's Note

Welp, don't expect a update for a while, what with final projects and work keeping me busy. But trust me, at the first possible chance, I will get back to writing this.

Boast Busters or Egotistical Much?

Author's Note

Hey everybody! Before I get murdered in finals over the next two days, figured I'd give you guys a little gift. Wish me luck! Alright, let's do it!:rainbowdetermined2:

Boast Busters or Egotistical Much?

“Permanent Vacation”

Boast Busters or Egotistical Much?

Morning routine aside, I threw on a white tee and black cargo shorts before heading outside. I’m still worried that the town will react differently towards me. Surprisingly, they don’t seem fazed one bit. Some even come up to me and shake my hand, thanking me for stopping Gilda. Huh, turns out the girls were right. I smile and head for Sugercube Corner. After the events of yesterday, I believe that I deserve a treat.

I enter Sugercube Corner, a little bell above the door announcing my arrival. Now that I’m not smashing in a griffin’s face, I look around the interior. The entire place looks exactly like it always does in the show, albeit a bit larger, with the addition of a jukebox beside the door and a TV mounted on the wall beside the counter. I idly glance at the TV to see a white pegasi in a black suit standing in front of a map of Equestria, listing off the upcoming weather patterns. Overall, the entire building is about average in size, looking like it is able to hold maybe twenty-five to thirty people comfortably.

“Welcome to Sugercube Corner!” A tall, lanky yellow stallion, wearing a white tee shirt and tan cargo pants, says from behind the counter, his back to me. “I’ll be with you in a second!”

“Alright.” I walk over to the counter and browse the selection of sweets. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mister Cake turn around.

“What can I get you today? It’s on the house!”

“Oh, there’s no need for that. I don’t feel right taking stuff for free. Speaking of which, why am I getting this for free?”

“It’s the least we could do for you taking care of that Gilda character before she hurt anypony!”

Pinkie pops up from behind the counter, causing Mister Cake and I to jump. “Jesus, Pinkie!” I yell.

“Blake!” She giggles before turning to Mister Cake. “Don’t worry Mister Cake, I’ll take it from here.” She winks at him.

“Whatever you say, Pinkie.” He smiles and shakes his head, walking upstairs.

“So,” Pinkie turns back around to look at me, “What can I get you? We got chocolate covered donuts, chocolate chip muffins, chocolate cupcakes—”

“I’m guessing you like chocolate?” I continue looking through the displays in front of me.

“Uh, duh! Chocolate is the best thing ever! And there are so many uses for it! Chocolate syrup, chocolate chips, Cocoa Puffs—”

“Wait, what?” I turn my head to look at her but do a double take back at one of the displays. It can’t be. I push my face up against the glass to get a closer look. “Hey, Pinkie, what are these?” I point to the crescent roll looking pastry with little dollops of white filling inside it.

She stops mid rant and reaches behind the counter, pulling out the tray. “These are only the best tasting, mouthwatering, sweetest pastries in Sugercube Corner!”

I’m practically drooling at this point if they are in fact what I believe them to be. “And they might be…?”

“Cannoli’s!” She yells before stuffing her face with one. Her mane deflates slightly after swallowing. “But you probably don’t want that. I’m the only pony that ever really eats them.”

“I’ll take one for now and six, no, twelve in a box!”

Her mane returns to its poufy state. “Really?! I thought I was the only pony to eat them!”

“Are you kidding?! I haven’t had one for so long but I’ll never forget the taste of that hard crust and the sweet mascarpone cream!”

She starts bouncing in place. “OhmygoshthisissoamazingthatI’vefoundanotherponywhoeatscannoli’sasmuchasIdo!”

“Well then,” I grab one from the display and hold it up, Pinkie doing the same, “Cheers for finding somebody else with similar tastes!” I take a bite and my taste buds are assaulted with a swarm of flavor that I never knew could exist until now. These are way better than the ones back home! I finish mine seconds before Pinkie.

“The Cakes don’t keep that many of these in stock so I’m gonna need a little bit to make another batch.”

I wave my hand at her. “Take all the time you need. As long as they taste like these, then I’ll be a happy man,” I head for the door, waving behind me. “See you later, Pinkie, and thanks again for the free food!”

“You’re welcome!”

I walk through town a little longer, trying to get a lay of the land for future reference, when I hear what sounds like carnival music coming from the town square. Apparently, others heard this as well since a large crowd is heading towards the source. I follow them and sigh when I see the source, a wagon that had been converted into a stage. Trixie had arrived in town. I look off to the left to see Twilight and Spike heading for a spot at the very front of the stage. Not wanting to stick out in this crowd when Trixie came out to perform, I snuck around to the backside of the wagon. There was a little door about halfway in the center that I push open. Just before I step inside, I hear the show start.

The inside, to my surprise, is bigger than the outside and it had everything a traveling showmare would need. A simple bed pushed up against the back wall, a vanity littered with makeup and perfumes, a closet filled to the brim with extra hats, cloaks, and clothes (Which are dark blue shirts with shades of gold on the sleeves and skintight pants that are a light shade of purple) , and a little shelf with books about illusion magic. I rummage about, looking for any source of info on Trixie’s life that I could use against her. I spot a corner of a book underneath her pillow. Pulling it out, it reads diary across the center in gold. My moral compass is going haywire. On one hand, this would allow me to access Trixie’s deepest and darkest thoughts. On the other hand, going through a diary about someone’s personal life is just plain wrong.

“Eliminate the threat now.”

I must admit that I agree with the voice. Dealing with Trixie now will prevent the Alicorn Amulet incident down the road. I open the diary and read through the first couple of pages, which begins right after she became a showmare. I am shocked but understanding as to why Trixie acts the way she does. After reading through a few more pages, I had all the info I need. I replace the diary in the exact way Trixie left it.

Right beside the bed is a door. Carefully pushing it open, I find myself behind a blue curtain. Off to the sides sit excess props and boxes with fireworks sticking out the top.

On the other side of the curtain, I can hear Rarity yelling, “What did she do to my hair?!” Oh right, Trixie ruined Rarity’s hair by turning it into that green beehive monstrosity. I hear Rarity cry as she runs off stage.

“Who here believes that they can best The Great and Powerful Trixie?!”

It’s showtime. I step out from behind the curtain. I place a finger to my lips and motion for the crowd to be quiet as I sneak up behind Trixie. I stop once I’m within range of her ear. “Well then, it seems that Trixie has no challengers. I truly am the best—”

I smirk. “Right behind you.” Trixie jumps and spins around while the crowd laughs at her.

She regains her composure and smirks as well. “Well, it seems Trixie does have a challenger! To show how humble Trixie is, Trixie will allow the creature to decide the challenge.”

“I’m not here to challenge you. I’m here to make you listen.” She cocks her head while I circle around her, hands behind my back. Everything I learned from that diary had better pay off here. “Your name is Trixie Lulamoon, correct?”

“Ah, so you’ve heard of The Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“Actually, I’ve never heard of you before today.” Her confident smirk turns into a scowl. “Back to the point at hand, you were raised in an orphanage in Trottingham, correct?”

As I pass in front of her, I glance at her eyes which are as wide as can be. She shakes her head and returns to smiling. “Trixie wasn’t raised in an orphanage. Trixie is the proud daughter of two loving unicorn parents.”

“Oh, really? Then please tell us what their names are.”

“Trixie sees no point in this line of questioning.”

“But there is a point I’m getting to. You were left alone at an orphanage with nothing but a name. It was there that you discovered your talent for illusion magic. You thought that it would provide you a ticket out of there. That if you could show off you talents to potential parents, then you just might be able to find a new home. Sadly, that was not the case. Not once did you ever get adopted. You believed that your magic was the reason, that it wasn’t good enough for potential parents. Stop me if I’m wrong.”

“How do you know all this?” She asks through teary eyes.

I pause in front of her before continuing. “Let’s just call it a… Intuition. Anyway, once you turned eighteen, the orphanage couldn’t keep you anymore so they forced you out. You eventually came across this wagon, broken down and in no state to live in. You repaired it and make it your mission to travel the lands, searching for your parents and proving that your magic is good enough for the world.” I stop in front of her. “You started referring to yourself in the third person in hopes that your parents would one day recognize the name and come back for you. You act like a complete jerk because you’re afraid to let anybody get close to you for fear of rejection. You fell so far into your lie about being great and powerful that you actually believe it to be your life.”

Trixie breaks down at this point and falls into my chest, sobbing uncontrollably. I wrap my arms around her. “It’s all true! Trixie just wants Trixie’s parents back! Trixie wants to be able to have a mother and father!”

“But do they want you back?” Trixie looks up at me. “Do they really want a daughter that acts this way to others?”

“But… It’s all Trixie’s ever known.”

“No it isn’t. This is all your fake life has ever known. Think back to the times in the orphanage. Remember how happy you were when performed your little magic shows for the other orphans? The smiles on their faces as you brought joy and light to their otherwise bleak life?” Thank God for that diary.

“Trixie remembers how they looked up to Trixie every day.” She smiles but returns to frowning. “But Trixie insulted so many ponies. Trixie is not sure Trixie can change.”

“While it may be hard to atone for your past insults, it’s not too late to change here and now. You have a fresh new audience right here. Dazzle them, oh Great and Powerful.”

She smiles and wipes her eyes as I walk off the stage. I stand beside Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow as Trixie gets back to her show. “Trixie must apologize for Trixie’s recent behavior. Trixie was not acting accordingly for a showmare of Trixie’s stature.” At least she apologized, which is a start. “Trixie will now dazzle you with Trixie’s magic!”

“How did you know all that?” Rainbow whispers to me as fireworks go off behind Trixie.

“Thank a little thing called the diary of Trixie Lulamoon.”

“You read her diary?! That’s just wrong!” Twilight yells. Thankfully, her yell went unheard by Trixie.

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I know that, Twilight, but this was a far better option than what would have happened later.”

“And just what would have happened?”

“Neat!” I watch as Trixie conjures up two spectral forms, one a manticore and the other an earth pony, and re-enacted a battle between the two, complete with sound effects. “Anyway, you ever hear of an Ursa Minor?”

“No, should I?”

I fake gasp. “Twilight Sparkle not knowing something?! What has the world come to?!” Rainbow and Applejack snicker while Twilight rolls her eyes. “Go study up on them."

After a few more spectacular feats of magic, at least to me, Trixie ends the show with a massive fireworks display. She disappears in a flash of smoke to the cheering of the crowd. As the crowd starts to disperse, I motion to the girls to follow me. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.” They all nod in agreement and I start towards Sugercube Corner.

“Trixie would like to speak to the creature.” I spin around to see Trixie standing behind us, lazily drawing a circle in the ground with her hoof.

“One second, girls,” Spike huffs, “And Spike.” I walk over to Trixie. “What’s up?”

“What is your name?”

“My name is Blake.”

“Trixie… I would like to thank you, Blake.” Before I can react, she wraps her hands around me in a hug. I return it after getting over my initial shock. She backs out of the hug after a few moments and heads back to her wagon, waving to me which I gladly return. I walk back over to the girls and Spike.

“Shall we?” I resume my walk back towards Sugercube Corner.

Again, the little bell above the door announces our arrival. Standing at the counter with Pinkie are Fluttershy and Rarity.

“Hey girls!” Spike huffs and cross his arms, “Whoopsie, and Spike and Blake!” Pinkie waves from behind the counter as Rarity and Fluttershy turn to face us.

I nod to Rarity. “Glad to see that your hair isn’t that thing anymore.”

She blushes and looks away. “I may have… overreacted a bit when I saw it. After I got home, I found out it was a simple illusion spell.” We all share a little laugh at her expense.

“Sorry, Blake, but your order isn’t ready yet. The Cakes don’t have all the ingredients to make them.”

I wave my hand at Pinkie. “Don’t worry about it. Just swing by tomorrow and drop them off. Which reminds me, you all up for seeing a movie tomorrow?”

“A movie sounds lovely. If it’s okay with everypony else.”

“Eh, I got nothing going on tomorrow.”

“Oh my gosh! I love movies! What are we seeing?!”

“A movie sounds simply fabulous.”

“I finished all the chores that needed doing on the farm so why not.”

“I believe that I can make room in my studies for a movie. I think that Fifty Shades—”

“No. Just… No. We are not seeing that. I have tons of movies at my place we can watch. I’ll even make dinner,” They all glance between each other. “I’ll take that as a yes. I shall see you all at five.” Without waiting for them, I turn and walk out of Sugercube Corner.

Heading home, I make myself some tacos for dinner and spend the rest of the day cruising around the streets of Los Santos in Grand Theft Auto V.

Movie Night: First Time's The Charm

Author's Note

Sorry for the short chapters guys. I'm kinda in a creative slump right now so if these chapters seem rushed, I'm sorry. But I promise you this, the next chapter will have around ten thousand words, the most I've ever written for a chapter! Until then, stay brony my friends.

Movie Night: First Time's The Charm

“Permanent Vacation”

Movie Night: First Time’s The Charm

Since the girls weren’t due to arrive till five, I had the entire morning to do whatever I wanted. After my usual ritual, I moved my Xbox out to the living room for two reasons. The first being that I don’t own a DVD player and the second is that I might as well make the most out of having a thirty-two inch flatscreen. After that, I went into the kitchen to see what I had and could make for dinner to suit my equine, guests. I open the fridge and reach for one of my last… two… Cokes… How in the world do I have an entire twelve pack of Coke in my fridge? They don’t even have Coke in this world?! I sigh. Guess I better get into the habit of just explaining things off to fucking magic.

Back to searching for dinner. I guess I could make salads using the lettuce, cheese, and carrots I have. I could spice mine up to be a taco salad with salsa and Doritos. I just shrug my shoulders. If they don’t like it, too bad cause that’s what I’m making. This isn’t Burger King. They can’t have it their way.

I spend the rest of the morning playing Fallout: New Vegas. As five rolled around, I switched between cooking the meat and playing the game. I had maybe five more minutes before the girls and Spike arrived. Just enough time for me to go on a sniping mission in Cottonwood Cove.

I save after silently wiping the Legion out of the cove, and just in time too. Hearing a knock at the door, I stand up and head over to the door. Opening, I’m greeted by my guests for tonight. “Ah, so glad to see that you all made it.”

Rainbow was the first to bolt through the door. “Where’s the food? I’m starving!”

“Rainbow Dash! That is no way to act around our gracious host!” Rarity glares at Rainbow, who in response just shrugs.

“Thank ya kindly for the hospitality, Blake.” Applejack slightly tips her Stetson down.

“Thank you for having us over.” Fluttershy avoids direct eye contact with me as she steps in.

“Thank you for inviting us. I had to push re-shelving the library up to tomorrow just to be here.”

I laugh. “I’m glad the books could wait till tomorrow.” Wait. I do a quick head count. Where is—

“This is gonna be awesome! I can’t wait to see the movie! Is it a scary movie cause I love scary movies!” Somehow, Pinkie is hanging from the ceiling in front of my face.

Feeling myself shake from built up rage at Pinkie logic, I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. I open them to see that Pinkie is now off the ceiling and standing in front of me. I sigh and head towards the kitchen, motioning for them to follow. They take their seats around the table that I already set with plates, silverware, and drinks. “Sorry if you guys aren’t in the mood for salads. I don’t have a lot of pony friendly food around here.”

“It’s alright, Blake. I’m sure everypony understands. Right, girls?” Twilight asks them. They all answer back with various forms of agreement.

I grab my plate and sit down. Everybody stares at my plate. “What? Haven’t you ever seen a salad before?”

“Of course we’ve seen salads before. I’m just curious what those orange,” Rarity waves her hand at my plate, “Things are.”

I grab a Dorito and hold it up. “This is a Dorito. Think of it like a corn chip with nacho cheese dust sprinkled over it. Here, try one,” I break off a couple of pieces and pass one to each of them. They each take a bite. “So, what do you think?”

Rainbow swallows and turns to me with a smile. “That tasted awesome!” The girls all mummer in agreement. “Hey, can I try one of those brown thingies?” She reaches a hand out towards my plate but I slap it away.

“Sorry, but this is something that you don’t want to try.”

Rainbow throws her hands up in the air. “Why not?!”

“Unless you eat meat, then I wouldn’t recommend it.” I pick up my fork and take a bite.

“Oh, ponies can eat meat…” Twilight says.

I swallow. “First off, that is surprising. Secondly, I know there’s more to that sentence.”

“We just don’t eat it often. It’s a very touchy subject with ponies, so please don’t bring it up around them.”

I notice Rainbow is still staring at my plate.

“Dude, Gilda and her went to flight camp together. Maybe…”

“Maybe Gilda got her to try meat and she liked it! Only one way to find out!”

“Hey, Rainbow?”

“Yeah?” She still hasn’t taken her eyes off my plate.

“If you want some meat, all ya gotta do is ask. I still have some in the pan.” The girls are all staring at me.

“Sure, I’ll take some.” Everyone, except for Rainbow and I, gasp as I grab her plate and walk over to the pan.

“Rainbow Dash, you eat meat?!” Twilight says.

“Oh, don’t act so surprised.” Rainbow and I say at the same time as I load up her salad with meat.

“I didn’t think you of all ponies would be eating meat, Rainbow Dash!” Rarity says.

“What did you expect? I had Gilda as a roommate back in flight camp, remember?”

“And since you’re the adventurous type, you tried some of her food, which is largely meat based, and liked it.” I point out as I place her plate back in front of her.

“Exactly! Just don’t tell anypony, alright? I have a reputation to uphold!”

Twilight sighs before looking at Rainbow Dash and smiling. “Alright, Rainbow Dash. While I find it strange, I respect what you eat and won’t judge you for it.” She says with all the girls agreeing with her.

“Thanks guys.”

We make small talk for the rest of dinner, mostly about what we did this morning. Basically, they each did the same thing I did, nothing. Well, nothing productive. Rainbow is the first to finish her meal (Does everything have to be about speed with her?) and Rarity the last. I take their plates and start washing them off.

“Please, allow me to help you with that, dear. It’s the least I could do to repay you for being a gracious host.”

“Um, I want to help too. That is, if you want me to.”

“Thanks for the offer but there is really no need. I can handle a few dishes by myself.”

“But I must insist that I repay you in some way.”

“You really want to repay me that much, Rarity? Then how about you make me an outfit for this Gala. I could use some new clothes.”

“Of course. I already have a splendid idea in mind for you. Just come by the boutique so I can get your measurements.”

“Sounds good. While I finish up here, why don’t the rest of you head into the living room and get comfortable?” I hear the clopping of hooves behind me as they leave the kitchen. After finishing the dishes, I walk into the living room. Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy are sitting on the couch and Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow are sitting on the floor in front of it. “So, y’all ready for this?”

“Duh! Of course we are! I even brought my own popcorn!” Pinkie reaches into her hair and pulls out a bucket of popcorn. Must. Resist. Urge. To. Scream. She offers the bucket to Rarity. “You want some?”

Rarity eyes the container. “Thank you for the offer, Pinkie, but I’m afraid I’m still full from dinner.”

“More for me then!” She dives headfirst into the bucket.

I just gotta block out Pinkie being Pinkie for now. I walk over to the TV stand and start scanning the shelves for a suitable movie. I settle on a classic movie that I grew up loving, Home Alone. After inserting it into the Xbox, I shut off the lights and take a seat on the couch between Fluttershy and Rarity. Grabbing the controller and TV remote, I fire up the movie.

I place my hands behind my head, cross my legs, and lean back into the couch. As the movie chugs along, we all laugh at the various forms of punishment Marv and Harry receive from Kevin, along with the various misfortunes that happen to Kevin. Of course, I have to stop the movie at certain points to explain to them things found in the movie, like cars and Christmas. Once the movie finishes and the credits start rolling, I stand up and go turn on the lights. I hear groans as I blink my eyes to adjust to the sudden change in light.

“So, what did you all think?”

“That was funny! I like the part when Harry opened the door and the flames went WHOOSH and burnt his hair and he dove in the snow to put it out!”

“I thought the heartfelt ending was the best part. Kevin learned a valuable life lesson about family.”

“I must agree with you there, Twilight.”

“The looks on their faces as they got pranked was the best! I wouldn’t mind hanging out with that kid.”

“Oh, um, it was funny. I just hope they’re alright…”

“Now that there was funnier than Big Mac trying ta learn tap dancing!”

I glance at the clock on the wall which reads eight-thirty. “Thanks for coming over girls. I could get used to having you over for movies all the time.”

“I had a great time. Did you, girls?” Twilight asks them, who agree.

I lead them to the door and usher them out, thanking each of them as they leave. As Applejack steps out the door, I wave to them and bid them a goodnight which they return. Just as I’m about to shut the door, Pinkie sticks her head back in.

“Blake! I almost forgot your order!” She reaches into her hair and pulls out a pink box with a red bow.

Taking the box from her, I open it just to check if she brought the right thing. Sure enough, she brought me a dozen cannolis. I nod to her. “Thanks, Pinkie.”

“You’re welcome!” Her head disappears back outside.

I shut the door behind her and head towards my Xbox, shutting it and the TV off. After a quick shower, I crawl into bed and embrace sleep.

Bridle Gossip or Read A Book!

“Permanent Vacation”

Bridle Gossip or Read A Book!

Nothing really exciting, at least on my end, happened over the past two days. I visited Rarity so that she could get my measurements and to tell her I wanted a simple, black suit with a fedora (Because fedoras are cool), I went out and bought a few groceries, visited Twilight for a few books on Equestrian history, and played video games during that scheduled rainstorm. All in all, a peaceful two days. Why couldn’t it be like this every day?

Oh, did I mention that a dragon also took up residence in the mountains? Yeah, that happened as well. Naturally, the girls asked me to tag along but I refused, saying that someone needed to stay behind to maintain order in town, which they all agreed was a solid plan. As the girls went towards the mountain, I went home and maintained order in the towns of Skyrim, protecting them from dragon attacks. Hey, I never said which town I was maintaining.

I awoke to birds chirping and sunlight streaming in through my window. I had just finished breakfast when I heard a knock at my door. Opening it up, I saw Twilight with Spike on her shoulder. They are both smiling.

“Good morning, Blake!” They both say in perfect unison.

Matching their attitude, I reply, “Good morning, Twilight! Good morning, Spike! What brings you two around here?”

“Well, since it’s such a beautiful day, Spike and I are going for a walk through the town. Would you care to join us?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Sure. I was going to go browse the furniture store in town for a new sofa anyway.” Twilight starts walking towards the market and I fall in step beside her after shutting the door behind me.

“It really is a beautiful day, Twilight! I wonder if everypony else if outside enjoying it!” Spike said as he leaned to the left to watch the birds flying through the air around us.

I had to agree with Spike. It really is a beautiful day, what with the orange and gold leaves falling from the trees. As we near Sugercube Corner, I notice an apparent lack of ponies anywhere. It feels like I’m walking through a ghost town. “Hey, do either of you notice the distinct lack of ponies anywhere?”

Twilight stops in her tracks. “Now that you mention it, where is everypony? They should be outside on this wonderful day.”

Spike’s eyes go wide and he grabs those fins on the side of his head. “You don’t think it’s because of zomponies, do you?!”

Twilight just rolls her eyes so I answer for her. “I find it hard to believe that zombies are the case here, judging by the lack of undead and dead bodies in the streets. Oh, and the fact that zombies aren’t real.” I don’t believe in zombies but just in case they do turn out to be real, I’m heading to the frozen north. Zombies don’t have any body heat so they’ll freeze into walking corpse-sickles. Best plan ever, right?

“Psst! Twilight! Spike! Blake!” I spin around, searching for the source of the whisper. Twilight and Spike are doing to same thing. “Over here!” We all turn towards Sugercube Corner to see Pinkie motioning for us to come inside. Twilight runs inside and I follow her, slamming the door shut behind me.

“Pinkie, what in Celestia’s name are you doing hiding alone in the dark?”

“Oh, I’m not alone.” I manage to find the curtains after Pinkie says this. Drawing them open, I turn around to see the rest of the girls along with a little olive colored filly with red hair, wearing a green tee shirt, blue jeans, and a pink bow, standing next to Applejack.

I point towards Apple Bloom. “Who’s the kid?”

Apple Bloom steps forward, only reaching to my waist in height. “Howdy, mister! My name’s Apple Bloom!”

“And mine is Blake. I take it that you’re part of the Apple family?”

“That’s right! Ah help Applejack an’ Big Mac with the chores around the farm!”

“Apple Bloom! Hush now! We don’t need,” Applejack gulps, “Her finding us.” The rest of the girls, save for Twilight, all agree.

“Who are you hiding from?” I ask.

“Her!” Rainbow yells and points out the window. Twilight and I stand right in front of the window while the rest of the girls stand off to the side, peeking out at the hooded figure in the distance. The figure looks directly at Sugercube Corner with piercing yellow eyes, causing everybody except for Twilight and I to back away from the window.

“Did ya see her? Did ya see Zecora?” Apple Bloom asks.

Oh right, today is when Zecora comes to town. Sighing, I step off to the side and lean against the wall by the door as Twilight tries to get the girls to see reason. I pretty much tuned out that entire conversation except for when Twilight argued that if anypony was brave enough to ask Zecora what she was doing, then maybe they wouldn’t have to worry about her being evil.

Apple Bloom is standing in front of the door, looking up at me. I really should tell her to stay but a lesson has to be taught to the girls today. Plus, I can’t let a child go into the Everfree on her own, right?

“I wouldn’t recommend that.”

“Shut up, inner voice. I can’t in good conscience let something happen to this filly.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, dumbass.”

I motion to the door with my head and mouth let’s go to her. She smiles and nods back. I carefully open the door and allow Apple Bloom to step outside first before following her. Quietly shutting the door behind me, I turn around to see Apple Bloom already running towards a wagon left by the side of the road.

Quickly catching up to her, we duck behind the wagon. I lean out and see that Zecora is already leaving town. I tell Apple Bloom this and she nods, darting out from behind cover towards some crates left by a storefront. I follow her. We keep jumping from cover to cover until we run out and are forced to be in the open.

Zecora is fair distance ahead of us by now and has already entered the forest. Apple Bloom stops at the edge of the forest and gulps. She looks down and starts lazily drawing shapes on the ground with her hoof. I kneel down beside her and place my hand on her back. She looks to me and smiles, which I return.

Patting my back, I tell her, “Climb on.”

She practically dives onto my back, wrapping her hands around my neck. Shifting her up slightly so she has a better grip, I stand back up and head into the forest.

It isn’t long before we catch up to Zecora, who is expertly avoiding the blue flowers growing along the path. I am not going to step into Poison Joke today and neither will Apple Bloom. As I’m stepping over a tiny patch, I hear yelling behind me. Zecora turns around and so do I.

“Apple Bloom! Blake! Are ya’ll alright?!” Applejack yells as she and the rest of the girls charge into the Poison Joke patches.

“We’re fine, Applejack, see?”

“Beware, beware you pony folk! Those leaves in blue are not a joke!” As Zecora says this, fogs starts rolling in, which she starts backing into.

“Great! Now she cursed us!” Rainbow stomps her hoof on the ground, kicking up a few Poison Joke plants.

“Rainbow, there’s no—”

“You keep that mumbo jumbo to yerself, ya hear?! Applejack yells at the departing form of Zecora.

Before I can react, Applejack yanks Apple Bloom off my backs. Since Apple Bloom still had her hands wrapped around my neck, I am yanked as well. I lose my balance and land on my ass... Right in the middle of a Poison Joke patch. Just fucking wonderful.

“I told you so!”

“Why didn’t ya stop Apple Bloom from coming out here?!” Applejack is glaring at me with Apple Bloom mouthing sorry from atop Applejack’s shoulder. The rest of the girls are standing off to the side.

I stand up and brush myself off before glaring at Applejack. “I don’t have to answer to you.”

Applejack stomps a hoof. “Ya do when it involves mah sister!”

“She’s safe and that’s all that matters. If any of you need me, I’ll be at my place.” I stomp off down the trail before they can respond. I really need to blow off some steam right now before doing something I’ll regret. Maybe a few rounds against the bots in Team Fortress 2 would calm me down.

I awake with a groan. That was the worst sleep I ever had. It felt like I was sleeping on pins and needles all night, tossing and turning in an effort to get comfortable. It probably didn’t help that I stayed up late last night killing the members of RED and BLU.

Ah well, never mind about that now. Time to see what effect the poison joke had on me. I climb out of bed with a groan. God, it feels like someone took a bat to my spine. Maybe I have something to ease the pain. As I walk across the room, I try cracking my back a few times but get no results. Reaching the door, I open it and brush some hair out of my eyes before stepping into the hallway. Man, it’s getting long. Might have to see somebody about that…

Wait. Since when was my hair yellow? Or orange for that matter? And is that red? Oh God, it better not have done what I think it did. I rush into the bathroom and stare into the mirror. Staring back at me is not myself, but a blue skinned face with rainbow hair. I look like Rainbow Dash. I’m not sure how long I stand there in shock, staring at my reflection, before I realize that I should check what changed.

I open my mouth to check my teeth. Welp, goodbye to eating meat for today. I study my face. Everything looks like Rainbow Dash, right down to the magenta colored eyes. Hell, my ears are even equine, twitching at the sound of birds chirping outside. Everything about my faces seems to have taken a more feminine look to it. Oh God, how far did the changes go?

Fearing the worst, I look down. I feel my eye twitch. No, I refuse to accept these lumps on my chest! I substitute this reality for my own! Think rationally here. I’m only seeing this because I’m dreaming! Yeah, that’s it. This is just a dream. I pinch myself on the arm. Nope, still seeing these… things. Try harder! A few pinches later, I sigh in defeat. This isn’t going away so this is not a dream. Welp, let’s see what else has changed. Please don’t let it be anything else.

Closing my eyes, I grab my pants and drop them. Keeping my eyes closed, I wave my hand where my member should be, but feel nothing. Oh, you have got to be shitting me! I open my eyes and glance down.

Great, not only do I look like the symbol for gay pride, which I probably could have dealt with, but I just lost my ability to call myself a male! Why couldn’t I have still looked like a male? Granted, I know people alter their gender all the time and I have nothing against them but I’m not one to go out and get one myself! How could this get any worse?!

Wait. That pressure I felt moments ago on my tailbone is gone. To anyone watching me, I’m sure they would have seen smoke pouring out of my head as the gears clicked into place. Tailbone… I slowly move my hand behind me until I feel it, hair where there shouldn’t be any. Turning my head just enough, I spot a rainbow tail sticking out right above my ass. Universe, why do you hate me?

“You do know this isn’t what is meant by get some tail, right?”

“I wasn’t born yesterday, I know what it means!”

“I always knew you had a thing for Rainbow Dash.”

“Stop talking!”

I take a few deep breaths to steady myself. Do not freak out over this. At least you know what caused it and where the cure is. The gears in my head finally shifted into place at the implications of all this. If my tailbone hurt because my (Huh, still feels weird calling it my) tail was constricted then that means…

Oh, I’m actually excited for this one. Pulling my shirt off, I stare into the mirror at my new appendages attached to my back, a pair of cyan blue wings. I couldn’t help smiling at the sight of them. I’m the first human ever to have wings! I can see and feel every little muscle twitch in them.

“This is so awesome!” I shout out. I clasp my hand over my mouth. Did I really just hear what I think I heard? Taking my hand off my mouth, I say in my best Rainbow impression, “OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh!” Sweet, I sound just like Rainbow Dash! After a quick once over to make sure nothing else changed, I rush out to my living room (To the sound of hooves hitting the floor. Apparently, I have hooves now.). I may not be fully happy about this but come on! This is a once in a lifetime chance to fly!

Okay, how to control these wings? I close my eyes, concentrating on every little muscle and nerve, trying to find the ones that control the wings. After some searching, I finally find them once I see that my wings have folded shut. I do a small trial run with opening and closing them, flexing the tips, etc… It’s not that hard in hindsight. All I had to do was flex the muscles in my back to get them to flap. Once I feel ready, I close my eyes and breathe out. Sending the impulse to slowly flap, I feel exhilarated as my feet leave the ground.

THUMP

I fall back to the ground on my ass, rubbing my head. I know there is a ceiling but I didn’t expect to send that much power to these things and hit it! Groaning, I stand up and relax. Okay, a lot less power than last time. Sending the impulse again, I feel my feet lifting off the ground. I can do this. I just need to control when I flap and how hard. Nothing happens for a few moments so I open my eyes and look down. I can’t believe it, I’m hovering in midair. My grin could probably stretch for miles. I’m not that far off the ground so I just stop flapping and lightly land.

A grumble from my stomach reminds me that I need to eat so I head over to the fridge and grab an apple. I munch it down to the core and toss that aside. Hey, I may have equine teeth right now but that doesn’t mean I have to go all the way with this. Afterwards, I rush back to my room to grab some clothes. I can’t wait to hear Flutterguy and burst out laughing. Wrong, I know, but it’s just too funny.

I start scanning my dresser for suitable clothes when it hits me. If my back and tailbone hurt because of constriction on my tail and wings, then putting clothes on will only make it worse. I grab a white tank top and blue basketball shorts. Grabbing a pair of scissors, I cut holes large enough for my tail and wings to fit through. Once I’m satisfied, I head for the front door to go see Twilight about this.

Slowly opening the door, I peek out to make sure nobody is around, which thankfully, no one is. Stepping outside and shutting the door behind me, I sigh and look up to the sun when a cloud catches my eye. I can feel the grin on my face. Forcing my wings into action, I shakily fly up to the cloud. Once I reach the level of the cloud, I reach out and grasp at it. Instead of passing through, my hand grips it. Now this is cool. I rip a chunk off and play with it. It’s like Play-Doh in a way, soft and malleable but able to retain its shape. I roll the chunk into a ball and toss it off into the distance.

Now I got to try this. I grab the cloud and position it underneath me. Slowly lowering the amount of flaps and the strength of them, I land on the cloud and lie down on it. Oh God is this comfortable. The softness and the way it conforms to your body reminds me of sleeping on memory foam. Now I get why Rainbow enjoys these things so much.

I feel like relaxing here forever but my mind reminds me that I need to get this fixed. I sit up and push myself off the cloud, willing my wings to flap in my easy descent towards the library door. What I didn’t account for was the sudden gust of wind that blew me off course, straight towards the library window. I try to balance out but being a first time flyer, I have no idea how to stabilize. Oh shit is this gonna hurt.

“Look out below!” I yell right before I crash into the window. I pushes open without resistance and I hit the ground in a full on roll, stopping only when I smack the wall. I groan and start to open my eyes when things start hitting my head. I try to block them as best as I can but fail miserably. I rub my head where a few of those things hit me.

“Note to self, remember to not get so high off the ground,” I say aloud as I look at the books scattered on the ground around me.

“Rainbow Dash?”

I look up and notice Twilight and Pinkie, both under the effects of Poison Joke, and Spike staring at me. Just because I look like this doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun. I jump up and rush over to Twilight, grabbing her. “Twilight, you got to help me! I can’t fly right anymore! My life is ruined!” I yell in her face, shaking her with each sentence.

She places a hand to her head. “Calm down! I’m trying to find an answer, Rainbow Dash, which I would be doing if you weren’t shaking me!”

Wow, they must really be gullible to believe that I’m Rainbow Dash. That, or I’m a better actor than I thought. “Search faster! It can’t be that hard to find an egghead answer in these things!” I let go of Twilight and grab the nearest book, flipping through the pages.

“I told ya this would happen, Twi!” A high pitched, southern voice shouts from the front door. We all turn to look at Apple Bloom with tiny Applejack on her shoulder.

“Applejack! Not you too!”

“I told ya we would be cursed!”

“I must agree with Applejack, dear.” Rarity tries to blow some of her hair out of her face but fails. Fluttershy is standing right behind her.

“Rarity, Fluttershy! You too!” Fluttershy nods her head.

“Look out below!” Seconds later, Rainbow Dash comes crashing into the library through the same window I did moments ago. She lands in the heap of books from my crash before promptly jumping up and rushing over to Twilight. “Twilight, you got to help me!” Whoa, déjà vu.

“Uh, why are there two Rainbow Dashes?” Spike asks.

“What are you talking about, Spike?! Everypony knows that… I’m…” Rainbow finally takes notice of me. Everybody is glancing from me to Rainbow Dash.

I rub the back of my head and chuckle slightly. Twilight steps forward and studies me. “Blake?”

I laugh. “Took you this long to figure that out? Man, you gotta be faster, Twilight.”

“Blake, what happened to you?”

“Why?” I turn around and bend over, shaking what the Poison Joke gave me. “You see something you like?” I glance back to see all the girls blush furiously and look away. Well, except for Apple Bloom who I’m assuming hasn’t had the talk yet.

“I need an adult.” I hear Spike mumble.

“Hey! Stop messing with my body!”

I stand back up and waggle a finger at Rainbow. “First off, it isn’t your body, it’s mine. Secondly, the worst I could do is ruin your reputation. But all joking aside, anybody got any ideas what happened to us?”

“It ain’t all of us since Fluttershy looks perfectly fine ta me!” Applejack yells as she hops from Apple Bloom’s shoulder to the central table.

“Ya know it doesn’t have to be just looks. Maybe something is wrong internally?” I suggest.

“Fluttershy? Is something wrong with you?” Twilight asks. Fluttershy nods her head.

“Would you please tell us, dear?” Fluttershy shakes her head.

“Let me try.” I say as I step towards Fluttershy and lean in close to her.

“Look, the only way things are going to get better is if you tell us what’s wrong so that we can find an answer, a cure even.”

Fluttershy looks away before answering. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

And there it is. That deep male voice I’ve been waiting to hear. I try to suppress my laughter but this is priceless. I start rolling on the ground. I can make out Spike laughing over the sound of me laughing.

“Look at you guys! We got Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Flutterguy, Spitie Pie, Appleteeny, and…” He stops laughing and thinks for a second as I sit up and get the last of the chuckles out. “Eh, I got nothing. Seriously, Twilight Sparkle and Blake. I can’t even work with those.”

“This isn’t funny!” Twilight shouts.

“Lighten up, Twilight. If you can’t laugh at yourself then what can you laugh at?” I hear a huff of agreement, or at least I think it is agreement, from Pinkie.

“But aren’t you the least bit worried about what caused this?” Rarity asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “A little, but that’s what our resident egghead is here for, right?”

“Ya’ll know as well as I do that Zecora cursed us!” At this, the girls start bickering over a plan.

I’m standing close enough to Apple Bloom to hear her blame herself for this. I bend down and whisper in her ear, “I’m ready whenever you are.”

She smiles at me. We quietly head out before we’re missed by the rest of the girls. Once we’re a good distance away, we break into a full on sprint towards the Everfree. Along the way, I can’t help humming a little song.

“So, Apple Bloom,” I say as we near the forest, watching as a few orange leaves fall from the trees, “What exactly do you intend to do once we find Zecora?”

She skids to a halt. “Ah don’t rightly know. But ah do know that ah’ll prove to the big ponies that ah’m brave!”

“Well, I think you’re brave just for going in here. Hell, you’re braver than Rainbow Dash right now!” I laugh and she can’t help but laugh as well.

“Come on now! We’re burning daylight, and we got ah cure ta find!” She charges into the forest with me right behind her.

We follow the trail for a while, leaping over rotten trees in the path. We’re just about to climb up an incline when a voice makes us both stop. “Apple Bloom! Blake! Ya’ll get back into town this instant!”

“Applejack? Where are ya?” Apple Bloom looks around for Applejack while I just look at Apple Bloom, waiting for Applejack to—

“Down here!” Wait, Applejack is supposed to be in Apple Bloom’s mane. So where the hell is she?

Apple Bloom is staring at my tail. “Uh, Blake? Why is mah sister in yer tail?”

“See! Applejack knows what get some tail means, literally!”

What?! I reach my hand around until I feel a foreign object nestled in the hair. Lightly grabbing it, I pull it out and hold it up to my face. Sure enough, Applejack is in my hand and she does not look happy. If glares could shoot daggers, I’d be dead right now. Witty sense of humor don’t fail me now.

“I didn’t know you were so frisky, Applejack. If you wanted to get that close to my ass, then all you had to do was ask.”

She blushes slightly. “What?! I wasn’t doing anything like that! An’ don’t say things like that around my sister! Now, both of ya get back into town this instant!”

“No,” Apple Bloom says flatly.

“What did ya just say to yer big sister?”

“Ah said no. Ah’m the big sis now and ah say no.” I mentally clap for Apple Bloom. Standing up to your family is very brave. Plus, it’s nice to see Applejack be put in her place.

“What are you to me, Applejack? My mother?” I fly up and place her on a tree branch. “Nothing personal, but we’ll come back for you once we have a cure.” I fly back down and grab Apple Bloom. Throwing her onto my back, I feel her hands wrap around my neck before I take off down the trail again. I can faintly make out Applejack yelling at us.

“Are ya sure that was such ah good idea ta leave mah sister back there?”

“She’s an Element of Harmony and a tough earth pony. I’m sure she’ll be alright.”

Other than a few stumbles here and there, I’m really getting the hang of this flying thing since I am now able to dodge trees and branches with ease. I don’t know why or how, but it feels like my brain is being fed the instructions on how to fly. Up ahead, I come to an abrupt halt outside a hut built into a tree. Masks with different facial features and colors hang from its branches and the entire tree itself has a stench that I can’t even begin to describe. Landing on the ground, I feel Apple Bloom slide off my back.

“Is this ta place?”

“I would assume so. Come on,” I head for the door and motion for her to follow. “Maybe Zecora knows what caused this.”

I knock on the door. A few moments later, the door is opened by a zebra in a grey hoodie and tan cargo pants. “What is this I see? Two ponies not of the Everfree?”

I mentally sigh. I’m gonna hate that rhyming scheme of hers. “Technically, I’m a human from a faraway land. My name is Blake and this here,” I pat Apple Bloom on the head, “is Apple Bloom.”

“Howdy.”

Zecora chuckles slightly. “I see that you are in quite a mess,” She steps off to the side. “Please come in and take a rest.”

Apple Bloom looks up at me. I nod and she steps inside with me right behind her. My attention is immediately drawn to the large cauldron in the center of the room. More masks adorn the walls, along with shelves of vials filled to the brim with different colored liquids. Another shelf on the back wall is filled with bowls of seeds and roots. In a nook beside this is a staircase heading down. At a desk to my left are a mortar, pestle, and an open book. On the floor beside the desk is a black beanbag chair. Sitting right beside the door is a spear.

“So, what exactly caused this? I know for a fact that you warned us about those flowers of blue.”

“That is exactly what I spoke. Those flowers of blue are Poison Joke.”

“Poison Joke? What’s that?” Apple Bloom asks.

“It is like poison oak. But this flower only wants a little joke.”

I groan and facepalm, causing Zecora and Apple Bloom to look at me. “I get it now. I was constantly called and mistaken for a girl all my life for not being the stereotypical guy. So what’s a girl called that likes to do more masculine things? A tomboy, just like Rainbow Dash.” Zecora nods at my statement.

“Okay, I have to admit that’s pretty good,” I laugh before whipping my head towards Zecora. “Now, what’s the freaking cure?!”

“If a cure is what you seek, then I have just the treat.” She points to the cauldron. “This brew will help you, but I need a few more roots to see it through.”

“Ah’ll go an’ get them!” Apple Bloom shouts, nearly blowing my eardrums out at the volume.

“Are you sure you want to go out there alone?”

“Ah’ll be fine. If ah’m gonna be ah brave pony like you, then ah need ta act like one!” You know, I’m sorta touched that she considers me brave.

“Don’t let her go out there alone.”

I shrug. “Alright, I’ll let you go out there. But if anything happens, yell and I’ll come running.”

“You got it!”

Zecora hands a backpack to Apple Bloom. Zecora grabs the book off the table and uses it to show Apple Bloom and me what items are needed. I have a hard time understanding what is exactly needed but Apple Bloom picks up on it right away. She opens the door and steps outside, promising to be back before shutting it behind her.

While we wait for Apple Bloom, Zecora and I ask each other general questions about our homes and lives. We are in the middle of a conversation about what each of her masks mean when an urge that I’ve been resisting since morning rears its ugly head. “Hey, Zecora? Sorry to interrupt but… Do you have a bathroom I could use?”

She chuckles. “But of course I do. Head downstairs to find the loo.”

“Thanks!” I bolt down the stairs. This must be where Zecora sleeps since a bed is against the wall with a dream catcher hanging above it. More masks line the walls and floor along with some simple bookshelves. Spotting a door to my right, I rush inside and am relieved to finally find a toilet to use.

Let’s just say that I walked out of that bathroom with a great chunk of my manly pride left behind. I just start up the steps when I hear shouting and objects breaking from above. Sprinting up the steps, I barge into the room to see Rainbow Dash crashing around the room and the rest of the girls in front of the door.

Twilight looks at me. “Blake! You’re alright!”

“Of course I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because Zecora is an evil witch who cursed us and was trying to make Apple Bloom stew!”

“Twilight, you really need—”

“Where’s mah sister?!” Applejack yells at me from her perch on Zecora’s ear.

I grasp my head in pain as my vision turns to white.

“Ah just gotta keep moving! Ah just gotta!”

I jump over a log that fell over the path and continue running. Risking a glance behind me, I see two large creatures with piercing yellow eyes and bodies made of wood chasing after me. I keep running from the danger behind me. All around me, the forest whips by as I try to remember the way to Zecora’s hut.

I scream. “Blake, Applejack! Help me! Ah don’t wanna die!”

“Snap out of it, Blake!” I feel something collide with my face and I fall to the ground. Rubbing my face where I just got punched, I sit up. I look to see Rainbow in front of me and everybody else in the room staring wide eyed at me.

“What happened? What did I do?” I ask.

“I-It was very scary. You grabbed your head in pain…” Fluttershy looks away from me.

“You screamed, Blake. Like somepony was hurting you. What happened?” Twilight asks

I mentally replay what happened in my head. I was having a vision from the point of view of… I know my eyes went wide. “Apple Bloom…” I jump up. Shoving the girls away from the door, I grab the spear and bolt outside, taking flight. I don’t know where Apple Bloom and those Timberwolves are but for some reason, I feel this gentle tugging during my flight that tells me which way to go.

I hear snarling so I must be close. Bursting into a clearing, time just seems to slow down in my head as I look at the scene before me. Apple Bloom is pressed up against a tree and whimpering as two Timberwolves close in on her. I gotta move.

“Do you even have a plan?”

“Uh, yeah? It’s called Plan Charge in There and Hope I Don’t Die.”

“Great plan. Really loving the amount of thought put into it. Best plan I’ve ever heard. This is not sarcasm.”

With as much speed and force I can muster, I charge shoulder first into the nearest Timberwolf. It falls to the side and I land on top of it. Before it can recover, I take the spear and shove it into its eye at an upward angle, hoping to hit its brain. That is, if it even has one. I hear a yelp of pain and a popping sound. Yellow goop explodes from the eye and splatters all over me. Just to be sure, I shove the spear into the other eye. The wolf falls apart and I hit the ground.

“Blake!” I hear Apple Bloom shout.

I look up to see the second Timberwolf pouncing towards me. Having no time to react, it leaps on top of me. I feel the spear slip out of my grasp. It raises one of its paws. I try to avoid roll to the side but can’t. The wolf has me pinned firmly within its paw. I scream in pain as talons rip through flesh. Oh God, is this how I die? Defending a little filly? This is it. This is how I die. There is so much I wanted to do and see.

“Fight! You can do this! You can survive! You’ve faced tougher foes in your games!”

“I can’t! I’m not cut out to be a hero!”

“Then become a hero! That little filly over there, the one that looks up to you, is going to be next if you don’t do something right now! Fight for her! Fight for those that can’t!”

The voice is right. I can do this! I need to do this! As long as I still draw breath, Apple Bloom is not dying today!

The Timberwolf leans down towards my face. This is probably the smartest or dumbest thing I can do. Rearing my head back, I headbutt the Timberwolf. It yelps in pain and stumbles off of me. Taking my chance, I roll towards the spear.

Grabbing it and awkwardly holding it one handed, I jump up and leap on the back of the Timberwolf. Doing my best to keep balanced, I jam the spear into its left eye. It howls in pain as the eye explodes. I shove the spear into the other eye and get the same reaction. The Timberwolf thrashes about, trying to throw me off its back. I squeeze my legs around its midsection. Driving the spear through the top of its head, the Timberwolf goes still. The entire body falls apart and I flop to the ground.

I sit there panting for breath before looking at my left arm. Oozing out of two long gashes, blood is starting to cake on my blue skin. It hurts every time I try to move it, like someone is taking a red hot poker to it. My entire body is covered in yellow goo.

I sit there in shock. Did I really just kill another creature? I know I just saved a life, but why do I feel so hollow about it? Did I really do the right thing in killing the Timberwolves? No, I did the right thing. It could have happened a different way, yes, but this results was better than doing nothing and having both of us die.

I’m shaken back to reality when I hear sobbing. Turning my head, I look over at Apple Bloom. She has tucked her legs up to her chest and is crying in them. I crawl over to her and wrap my arms around her. She throws herself onto me and cries even harder, if that is possible. I can feel her tears running down my chest. I whisper in her ear, “Everything is okay, Apple Bloom. We’re safe. Nothing can hurt you now.”

“But it’s not okay!” She looks up at me through teary eyes. “Ya got hurt ‘cause of me! Ah nearly died! All ‘cause ah wanted ta be brave!” She goes back to crying into my chest.

I rub my hand through her hair. “Hey, it isn’t your fault. No one could have predicted this.”

We sit there for a while until she gets her crying down to light sobbing. “But ya still got hurt protecting me.”

“Sometimes we have to get hurt to protect the ones we care for.”

She sniffles and looks up at me. Some of the goo is spread on her as well. “But—”

“No buts. I would gladly go through pain like this again if it meant protecting you, or any one of my friends. Remember, Apple Bloom, as long as I’m here, nothing will ever bring you pain again.”

She smiles slightly and cuddles up against me. “Thank ya, Blake. Thank ya for saving me. Ah’m sorry it came ta this.”

“No need to be sorry. Now come on, everybody is probably worried sick about us,” She pushes herself off of me and winces as she puts pressure on her right leg. She tries to hide it. “Are you alright?”

“Ah tripped on a root and sprained mah hoof.”

I grab the backpack that is lying on the ground beside the tree and throw it on her back. “Walking isn’t the best thing for you right now, so I’ll carry you.” She nods and I bend down so that she can climb onto my back easier. Grabbing the spear with my left hand, I walk back through the forest to Zecora’s. Again, I don’t know how but I know exactly where to go to find it.

Once I find Zecora’s hut, I push the door open with my foot to see the mess the girls made completely cleaned up.

“So apparently, cleaning up a mess they made is more important than chasing after you.”

“I know, right? Remind me to bring this up next time they’re in trouble.”

“With pleasure.”

They’re all facing away from the door. Apparently, Zecora told them that this wasn’t her doing and the true cause of our ailments.

“Honey, I’m home.” Hey, comedy helps me through the worst of times.

“Blake, did you…” The words die in Twilight’s mouth as she turns around and sees me. Her mouth is wide open along with the rest of the girls, who have turned around as well. God, I must look like a mess.

Applejack is the first to recover. “Apple Bloom! Are you alright?!”

I walk over and set her down on the beanbag chair. “Ah’m fine, sis. Blake saved mah life.”

This was enough to snap the girls out of their shock. Every eye in the room is drawn to me. Fluttershy is apparently the first to notice the blood. “Oh my gosh! You’re bleeding!”

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you get attacked and cut.”

“What happened? You bolted out of here after saying Apple Bloom,” Twilight asks.

“Apple Bloom was corned by creatures that looked like wolves made of wood, which I’m calling Timberwolves. I flew in and killed them, but not before one pinned me down and swiped a claw at me.”

Applejack is standing on Twilight’s shoulder. She takes off her hat. “Thank ya, Blake. Thank ya for saving my sister. Ah’m sorry for the way I acted towards ya yesterday. I just didn’t want ta lose mah sister.”

“Apology accepted and you’re welcome. Aside from a sprained hoof, she’s fine.”

“D-D-Did you have to have to k-k-kill those Timberwolves?” Fluttershy asks.

“Did I want to? No. Did I have to? I’m still debating that. Would I do it again? Gladly, if it meant protecting others.”

“The cut isn’t that deep, I see. I should have some remedy within my tree.”

“I’ll take whatever you got right now.”

Zecora searches through her shelves until she finds a vial with a light green liquid in it. She swirls it around a bit before walking over and pouring some of it onto the cuts. It feels like someone is taking a bottle of rubbing alcohol and dumping it on the cuts. I bite my lip to avoid crying out in pain. After a little bit, the pain dies down.

“That potion is your cure. Tomorrow, you will feel much better, I’m sure.”

“Next time, warn a guy… Err, mare. But thanks anyway. So, do you have all the ingredients for the cure for Poison Joke?”

“That is all the ingredients from the Everfree. But alas, I am missing one from Ponyville, you see.”

Twilight smirks. “I think we can help you with that.”

On our trip back, I carry Apple Bloom on my back and make lazy circles in the air around the girls. Aside from the whole being female part of this, I could get used to flying. I ask the girls, “So, I’m assuming you figured out Zecora didn’t cause this?”

“We may have… Overreacted a bit about Zecora being evil. She already filled us is on the Poison Joke,” Twilight said.

I chuckle. “Glad to see that you learned the lesson of don’t judge a book by its cover, both physically and metaphorically.”

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you something, Blake.”

“Shoot.” I turn around in front of Twilight to face her, flying backwards.

“How is it that you’re able to fly so well? You don’t normally have wings.”

“That… Is honestly a good question. At first, I was an accident waiting to happen. But as the day progressed, I found I was getting better. It’s almost like someone was feeding me the instructions on how to fly.”

“Of course you’re an awesome flyer! I am the best flyer in Equestria! It makes sense that you would get my raw talent.” Rainbow rubs a hand on her chest and shoots me a confident grin.

“Or maybe it’s because I’m a better flyer than you.” Rainbow’s grin turns into a frown as we all laugh at my little joke.

“Hey, Blake?”

“Yeah, Apple Bloom?”

“That song you were humming on the way here. Would ya please sing it? It had ah really nice beat to it.”

“I would, but I need the music for it.” As I say this, music starts playing. How in the world is music playing in the middle of a forest?

“Hold on!” The music stops abruptly, complete with a record scratch, and the girls all stare at me, “Why and how is music playing that directly matches the song I’m thinking of, and on that note, how is it that I was able to sing a song in perfect harmony with Pinkie without knowing a single lyric?”

“Well, you see, Equestria is filled with ambient magic—”

“Let me stop you right there. All you had to say was magic and I would understand.”

“Really?”

“No, but I’ve come to accept that everything around here can be explained with magic. Anyway, you wanted to hear a song so here it is.” The music returns and I bob my head along with it. It’s the first brony song I ever heard, Twenty Percent Cooler. How fitting is it that I sing this with the way I look right now. After the song is over, I do a little midair bow to the clapping of everyone present.

“Aw yeah! An awesome song about yours truly!”

“I must admit that some of the lyrics were… adult themed. How did you ever come up with them?” Rarity asks me.

“They just came to me on the spot.” I return my attention to the path to see that we are just leaving the forest. I also didn’t want to look at Applejack for fear of her catching my lie. Why did she have to become the ultimate lie detector machine? “Oh look, we’re almost there.”

As we near the town, I hold up my hand.

“Blake, what are you—”

“Five, four, three, two, o—”

“The wicked enchantress has cursed them all! The horror! The horror!” I hear a random pony shout.

I snap my fingers as ponies run screaming into buildings. “Oh, and I was so close. You know, you ponies really freak out over every little thing.”

“We didn’t freak out over you,” Applejack says.

“Touché.”

Apple Bloom slides off my back as Twilight walks over and knocks on the door of a building with a little sign showing flowers in a vase hanging above the door. You know, I never really noticed it before but looking at it now, every building around here looks exactly the same! Well, save for buildings like Sugercube Corner. Each house has the same yellow paint, same two story design, same front door, same thatched roof, and the same windows.

“Alright, I have the ingredients right here. Now we just need a tub big enough for us to use.”

“I believe I may be able to assist with that. The spa has a large tub for steam baths. I’m sure Aloe and Lotus wouldn’t mind if we use it.”

“Well, that’s the plan then. I’ll catch up with you at the spa. I need to grab something from my place.” I turn around and flare my wings, prepping myself for flight.

“Do you even know what the spa looks like?” Rainbow asks.

“Do you? You look as if you’ve never been to one if your life. Seriously though, how hard can it be? Large building, most likely yellow or blue, somewhere near the middle of town?” Before they can respond, I take flight and head for my home.

I doesn’t take long for me to reach my home and land outside the front door. Rushing inside, I jump in the shower and rinse the goo off of me. I then grab my swim trunks with Hawaiian flowers all over it and clothes for me to wear after the change. Throwing everything into a Borderlands 2 Claptrap cinch bag and heading back outside, I take flight once the door is shut behind me.

It honestly wasn’t that hard to find the spa. It is near town hall and looks exactly like it does in the show, painted purple with white surfaces, gold inlay, and large bay windows(Which I honestly think is a bad idea for a spa. The windows, not the color.). I land outside the door and step inside.

A small bell announces my arrival. I do a quick check of my surroundings. I’m in a large reception area with a curved desk on the wall in front of me. To my left and right are chairs and tables with magazines and newspapers on them. The walls are painted a dark magenta. Potted plants sit scattered around the room. Multiple doors presumably lead to the different treatments. Speakers are mounted in the corners of the room and are currently playing classical music. Hanging on the walls are pictures of ponies, who I can only assume are very important since Rarity has a picture on the wall. Sitting behind the desk is an earth pony that’s blue with pink hair. A lotus flower is nestled in her hair, along with a white headband. She is wearing light purple shirt and white dress pants. Judging by the lotus flower, I’m gonna assume this is Lotus.

“Ah, you must be with lady Rarity. She already explained your situation to us. Please follow me,” She says in a German (I guess it would be called Germane here, wouldn’t it?) accent.

She leads me to a door off to my right which opens into a little hallway. This opens up into a room dominated by a large tub in the center, which the girls are currently in, and cured by the looks of it, with a deck that wraps halfway around the tub. Apple Bloom is pouring what looks like bath salts into the water while an earth pony that’s pink with blue hair, wearing the exact same clothes as Lotus minus the lotus flower, and Zecora are standing off to side talking to each other.

“Couldn’t wait to start the party without me, eh?”

All heads turn to look at me. “Oh good, you made it. For a second there, we thought you got lost.” Twilight says.

I wave my hand at her. “This place wasn’t that hard to find.”

“Then what took you so long? I would’ve made it here in ten seconds flat.”

“Don’t start with me. You girls all had time to run home and grab a swimsuit, or Twilight teleported them here, so it’s only fitting that I get mine,” I turn to Lotus, “You got a place where I can change?”

“Certainly. The privacy screens are right over there.” She points to the screens and I head over to them. After changing into my suit, I step out from behind the screen. As I start to climb the steps to the deck, I notice the girls staring at me. Applejack whistles, causing Rainbow to smack her upside the head.

“What?” I ask, an eyebrow raised.

“Uh, you’re not wearing a shirt…” Twilight says with a blush on her face.

“Gee, thanks for that, Captain Obvious. And don’t act so surprised. You’re all girls so you’ve seen this,” I wave a hand over my chest, “before.”

Standing at the edge of the tub, I smirk and take a few steps back. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie are vigorously nodding their heads, obviously seeing what I’m about to do. Rarity’s eyes widen. “Blake, are you—”

“Cannonball!”

I sprint towards the tub. Jumping into the air and tucking my legs against my chest, I crash into the water and sink slightly. Kicking my feet off the bottom of the tub (Which is deeper than I suspected.), I surface and observe the damage. Everybody is soaking wet. I burst out laughing along with Rainbow, Applejack, and Pinkie. I notice my voice has returned to normal.

“Where’s a camera when you need one?!” I glance at my arms to see them back to normal, with the addition of two long scabs along my left arm.

“Was the cannonball really necessary?” Twilight deadpans. Both she and Rarity are just glaring at me.

“Of course it was! Hang on a second, I need to check something.” Turning my back to the girls, I reach underwater. Oh, what joy to be male again! I reach around my back and feel nothing. Pulling a strand of hair down, I see that it has returned to its brown, curly state. That change happened faster than I thought. Then again, magic apparently solves everything in this place!

I turn around and lean into the edge of the tub, slowly sinking under the water. “Ah, feels good to be back to normal.”

“I hear ya there.” The girls all murmur in agreement at Applejack’s statement.

As we sit in silence, just enjoying this wonderful bath (Seriously, it feels like every pore on my body is singing in joy), I glance at each of the girls to see what they’re wearing. Rarity, Twilight and Fluttershy are wearing one pieces, light blue for Rarity, green for Fluttershy, and purple for Twilight. Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow are wearing bikinis, a yellow, balloon print for Pinkie, a red bikini top and blue jean shorts for Applejack, and black for Rainbow. So apparently, they have Cutie Marks since I can clearly see Dash’s.

Thanks to them wearing bikinis, I am able to see every muscle definition on their bodies, the earth ponies especially. God damn, it’s like they could snap a tree in half with their legs alone! My eyes slowly trace Applejack’s toned body, years of farm work really paying off for her. While Applejack and Pinkie have very defined leg muscles, Rainbow is toned but slim. It’s like she can cut through the air like a knife with that body. Remind me to thank whoever came up with the brilliant idea for males and females to share spa baths in this world.

Gah, what am I thinking?! I can’t think shit like this! They’re half freaking pony!

“But where does the pony start and end, if you catch my drift?”

“You stay out of this! I don’t need these thoughts right now!”

“Come on. Look at that sleek, toned body. The firmness and—”

“Stop talking!”

“Hey, I’m only trying to be a good wingman here.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t need a wingman now. But maybe in the future…”

“Hey, Zecora,” I interrupt Zecora’s conversation, causing every head in the room to turn to me, “How long do we need to stay in this? I got places to go and things to do.”

“This brew packs quite a kick. You can leave when you feel fit.”

“Welp, I’m outta here,” I climb out of the tub. Lotus is instantly by my side with a towel. I accept it from her with a nod and head to the screen to dry myself off and change.

“Thanks again, Zecora. I’ll see you tomorrow, girls.” I wave goodbye to them as I leave the room and head for the exit. Stepping outside, I take a deep breath of air. It really is a beautiful day. Maybe I should take a walk around town or relax in the park before going home.

A buzzing sound draws my attention to a little orange pegasi filly with a purple hair, wearing a black jacket over a light blue shirt and a pair of dark green cargo pants, on a scooter heading down the street in front of me. Her tiny wings beat furiously, propelling her along. You know, I always was curious where Scootaloo lived since it never was explained in the show. As she rounds a corner, I sprint off after her.

“You’re stalking a little filly. You do realize how creepy this is, right? Where’s a cop when you need one?”

It wasn’t that hard to follow Scootaloo as she wound her way through town. Her top speed was basically a light jog to me. I follow her to the outskirts of town. Okay, now I’m really curious. We passed by plenty of houses when we were in town. At the end of a large path is a building that makes me stop. Scootaloo rides right up to the front door, gets off her scooter, and heads inside.

The building looks simple enough. It’s a simple brown painted two story with the ground floor having two larges additions jutting off from the central building. Windows line the entire building. Out front is a small playground with simple things like a sandbox and swings. Hanging above the door is a sign that shows a picture of two hands holding out towards what looks like a colt and filly. No, what made me stop was the giant sign planted in the ground in front of me.

“Ponyville Orphanage”, it proclaims in bold. Directly underneath that is the classic guilt trip line, “Won’t you please come in and adopt one of our members? Nopony should be left without a parent.” I cringe. I really didn’t want it to be true but sadly, it is.

“Do not do it! Do not even think about doing it! Do not even think about not doing it!”

Fine, you win this round, voice in my head. But know this. I will do exactly what I am thinking of someday. It may be a week from now or a month but it will be done. I can promise you that.

My stomach grumbling reminds me that I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Better head home and get something to eat then call it a day. I’m thinking a nice Italian dinner tonight will go great with those cannolis.

Author's Note

Not exactly ten thousand words, but hey! I still set a new personal record for number of words in one chapter so :yay:! Also, happy Thanksgiving, ya'll!

Call of the Cutie or I Want a Tattoo on My Butt!

“Permanent Vacation”

Call of the Cutie or I Want a Tattoo on My Butt!

I slept like a log after the events of yesterday. Waking up feeling fresh and revitalized, I glance at my cut arm. Wow, that is some awesome healing brew Zecora has. The entire cut from yesterday is healed up to the point of leaving a faint scar. I poke the skin a few times just to see if I feel any pain, but feel absolutely nothing.

After eating breakfast and getting changed, I go into the spare room that I never really use. I always meant for it to be a spare bedroom or, if the situation ever came about, a child’s bedroom. It is roughly the same size as my room, just far dustier and in need of some cleaning. I leave and enter my room. Grabbing the bit pouch, I open it up and start counting how many bits I have left. Out of my starting total of three-hundred, I am now down to about a hundred. Okay, so I’m saving that till I get my next pouch. But if I want to speed my plan for the spare room along…

Throwing on some decent clothes, I go outside and head towards Sugercube Corner. Maybe the Cakes can offer me a job. Hey, at least it’s a step up from working at a fast food joint.

“Going from a fast food joint to a bakery. Our career is zooming! Next week, we’ll be working at a waffle house in Minnesota!”

I wave to a couple of ponies on the street before entering Sugercube Corner. No one is at the counter but a bell and note sit beside the register. I glance at the note to see that it says to ring for service. I go to ring the bell but stop, my hand hovering inches from it. I lean over the counter to look behind it, expecting to see Pinkie. Not seeing anybody, I lean back and ring the bell with confidence of not being surprised by Pinkie.

“Hiya, Blake!”

I yelp and spin around to see Pinkie standing behind me. I take a few deep breaths to calm my frantic heart. “Jesus, Pinkie, you really need to stop doing that.”

She giggles. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Anyway,” she bounces around the counter, “What can your good old Aunt Pinkie Pie get for you today?”

“First, you aren’t my aunt. Second, I’ll just have a cup of coffee. Lastly, I need to speak with Mister Cake.”

“Roger that! I’ll have the coffee faster than you can say Pinkie Pie!” She yells as she walks into the kitchen.

No way is she faster than that. “Pinkie—” Is all I manage to get out before Pinkie pops up from behind the counter with a cup of coffee, placing it on the counter.

“That’ll be six bits.”

“How… You… Huh… You know what, never mind,” I reach into my pocket and fish out the six bits, placing them into her outstretched hand, which she promptly deposits in the register.

“Thank you! I’ll be back with Mister Cake in a second.” She hums to herself as she bounces up the steps.

I slide into a corner booth and idly sip from my coffee. After a few minutes of waiting, Mister Cake comes down. The bags under his eyes, and his sluggish movement, tell me all I need to know right now. He slides in the booth across from me, trying his best to smile.

“What can I do for you today?”

“Actually, I’m here to ask that question to you. I’m looking for a little extra cash and was wondering if you needed some help today.”

His face immediately perks up. “Really?! You’d be willing to work today?!”

I’m no fool. I know when someone is desperate. “Of course I’d work today.”

“You’re hired! You’ll be helping Pinkie in the kitchen and serving the food during Diamond Tiara’s Cutecaeñera . I’ll pay you sixty bits by the end of the day.”

Being this desperate, let’s see how far I can push him. “Make it eighty and we have a deal.”

“Deal!” Damn, if he was going to be that easy, I should have asked for more. We shake hands and he heads back towards the stairs.

“Hey,” Mister Cake turns to face me, “Pardon me for asking, but why are you so desperate to hire somebody?”

He sighs but a content smile remains on his face. “It’s the missus. We’re expecting a child soon and I’ve been running myself ragged trying to take care of her and the store.”

“Oh, well, congratulations! Let’s hope the child turns out to savvy business owners like his or her mum and dad.”

“Thank you,” He yells down as he finishes climbing the steps.

I down the rest of the coffee before heading into the kitchen. Wearing a chef’s hat and apron, Pinkie is furiously baking tons of sweets. Wait, I never saw her come back downstairs. How is she in the kitchen? Nevermind, I had my coffee so I can pass this off to Pinkie being Pinkie.

Pinkie notices me. “Stop right there! You can’t come in here looking like that!” She places a hand on my chest and prevents me from coming in any further.

“Uh, what’s wrong with the way I look?” I glance down at myself. I don’t see what’s wrong with a green t-shirt and white cargo shorts.

She giggles. “Nothing, silly. You’re just forgetting the most important part of your outfit!” She reaches behind her and pulls out another chef’s hat and apron.

I smile and roll my eyes as I grab them from her. After putting them on, I follow Pinkie into the kitchen. “So, guess I’m your new partner for today.”

“Yeah, and it’s going to be totally amazing! We’re going to have so much fun baking cupcakes and cakes and cookies and donuts and—”

“Pinkie, your cupcakes are burning.” Not really, but this rant needs to stop now.

“What?!” She whips around to look at the oven but doesn’t see anything wrong. She laughs. “Sorry, Blake, I tend to get carried away at times.”

“Happens to the best of us. Never mind that though, we got baking to do!”

“Yeah! You mix that batter for the quadruple decker chocolate cake with cream filling,” She points to a large mixing bowl on the counter, “While I get to work on making more cupcakes!”

“Wait. We’re going to need an awesome soundtrack to accompany our baking!”

“Oh my Celestia, how could we forget the music?!” I turn my back to her and start mixing the batter. “Hey, Blake?”

I pause in my mixing to look at her standing by a radio on one of the counters nestled in the corner of the room. Her hand is hovering in front of the power button. “Yeah?”

She smiles. “Wub wub wub,” She says, her voice dropping slightly with each wub.

I immediately pick up on what she’s doing and smile back at her. “Drop that bass,” I say, dropping my voice low.

She hits the power button and our ears are blasted with the power of dubstep. We lose ourselves in the world of it and baking.

It was long, tedious work, but we managed to bake all the food for the party. Seriously, where do these ponies put it? We made two cakes, six dozen cupcakes, about thirty donuts, and three bowls of fruit punch.

Pinkie and I just finish hanging a banner congratulating Diamond Tiara on her Cutie Mark when I turn to her. “I think we did a perfect job. Wouldn’t you agree, my faithful assistant?” I look around at the decorating we did. It is a pretty simplistic decorating job, with balloons tied down at each table and streamers in a multitude of colors dangling from the ceiling.

“Yeppers! It’s looks superduperextrafuntasticamazing! And who said I was the assistant?! I’m the baker and store manager when Mister and Misses Cake aren’t here!” Pinkie laughs and I join in with her.

“So, when does this thing start?”

She looks at her wrist. I wonder what she’s looking at since there’s nothing there. Upon looking closer, I can see that she drew a watch in black marker on her wrist. She looks around before pulling out a marker. “Damn it, I need to get a new gem for this thing.” She draws a gem beside the watch. “Anyway, it starts in ten! Better get the food out here!”

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” We rush into the kitchen and carefully carry out one of the cakes, putting it on a table just as Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and a few other ponies I don’t know arrive.

We only have to get the last cake out when Apple Bloom walks in through the back door.

“Hey, Apple Bloom, what’s up?!” Pinkie says.

“Howdy, Pinkie. Howdy, Blake,” Apple Bloom says, but it’s directed more towards the ground than us.

Pinkie and I glance at each other. I whisper to her, “You cheer her up. I’ll take the cake out.” She nods and heads over to Apple Bloom while I carefully grab the cake. I cautiously carry it out, placing it by the register. Almost immediately, ponies start lining up for a slice of it. Since I’m still working here, I cut it and hand slices to everybody that wants one, or in other words, the entire building.

“Hello, Blake.”

I look up to see Twilight in front of me waiting for her slice of the cake. “Hey, Twi. What are you doing here?” I look down and realize that there’s only two slices left. Damn, that was fast.

“I came to enjoy the party like everypony else. Getting a Cutie Mark is an important stage in the life of a pony. As such, we bond together to celebrate this momentous occasion,” She leans in as I put a piece on her plate, “But I should be the one asking you what you’re doing here. Are you working here?”

“Yeah, but only for today. I need a little extra cash and Mister Cake needed the day off, so here I am.” I glance over Twilight’s shoulder. Turns out she’s the last one in line. Welp, time enjoy some of this cake I slaved over an oven for.

“Well, don’t work too hard,” She says, walking over towards an empty table.

“You do realize who you’re talking to, right?” I yell over to her. Grabbing a fork, I jam it into the last piece. Taking my first bite, I feel like I’ve died and gone to chocolate heaven.

“Did I miss out on all the cake? Shoot, ah knew I should have gotten here sooner.” I glance up to see Applejack standing before me with her hands on her hips.

“We baked extra. There should be a cake over there.” I point over to the table with the other cake. Wait, where is the cake? I know we put it on that table.

“What cake? I don’t see any cake.”

“Trust me, we baked two cakes. But I can’t fathom how we went through two cakes in less than,” I glance up at the clock, “An hour and a half.”

A record scratching causes everyone to look at the jukebox. Apple Bloom appears to have tripped and fallen onto the floor, bumping into the jukebox along the way. Almost instantly, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon appear.

“Well, well, well. Look what we have here. A pony without her Cutie Mark, unless she magically discovered her talent is tripping!” They both laugh at Apple Bloom, who has now buried her head into her legs.

Applejack starts to step forward but I place a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s see how this plays out.”

“But—”

“She’s not the only one without a Cutie Mark here.”

“How can ya be so sure?”

“Search your feelings, young one. You are the Element of Honesty after all.”

Applejack sighs. “Yer right, I can tell ya ain’t lying.”

“Blank flank, blank flank, blank flank!” Diamond and Silver chant.

“Hey! You got a problem with blank flanks?!” Everybody looks around for the source of the voice.

“She said, ‘You got a problem with blank flanks?!’” Even though Sweetie is trying to sound tough, she fails miserably with her squeaky voice.

Sweetie Bell, wearing a purple jacket and long, white skirt, and Scootaloo crawl out from under a table. The crowd parts to allow them easier access to Apple Bloom. They stand with their arms crossed in front of Apple Bloom.

“Uh, why are you standing up for this blank flank?”

“Hey,” I whisper in Applejack’s ear, “Where do these Cutie Marks appear?”

“You mean ya don’t know?” She whispers back.

I roll my eyes. “Different species, remember?”

“Right, sorry,” She places a hand on her hip, “They usually appear right here on our flanks. Why do ya need ta know?”

“Because of what I’m about to do,” I say, vaulting over the counter. I walk between the Crusaders, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon, with my back to the Crusaders.

I cross my arms and look down at Diamond. Silver starts backing away from me. “Is there a problem here?”

Silver taps Diamond on the shoulder. “Uh, Diamond? Maybe we should—”

Diamond shoots Silver a glare that shuts her up immediately before turning her attention back to me. “Oh please, don’t tell me you’re sticking up for these blank flanks too.” Diamond crosses her arms and glares at me.

“Yes, I am. These three fillies have more in common with me than you all think.”

Diamond allows herself the slightest of smirks. “And what would that be? It can’t be that you don’t have a Cutie Mark.”

It’s now my turn to smirk. “Actually,” I turn and pull the side of my pants down just enough to let them see the lack of a mark on my hip, “I do believe that is the case.”

“And here comes the restraining order!”

I hear a collective gasp from the crowd. Pulling my pants back up, I just stare at Diamond Tiara. “But… How?!”

“I’m from a species that doesn’t get a mark to tell us what our talents are.”

“Then how do you know what your special talent is?” Sweetie asks me.

I tap my forehead. “We don’t. We just find something we like doing and remember it.”

“Well, these blanks flanks still haven’t figured out their talents!” Diamond shouts as Silver glances between me and Diamond.

“Ah, but you’re only looking at this like it is a curse.”

“What do ya mean?” I glance back at the Crusaders to see them staring at me with wide eyes.

“If I’m looking at this right, once you get your mark, you are stuck with that talent for life, right?” I ask the crowd in general, who nod back, “Then look at it this way. You have no idea what your talent is, which means that you get to experience the thrill of trying different things! In essence, you could be anything you want!”

“So you’re saying that I could get a flying Cutie Mark?!” Scootaloo says, her wings buzzing in excitement.

I shrug my shoulders. “Sure, why not?”

I back away as kids shouting out ideas swarm around the Crusaders while Diamond walks away to sulk with Silver not far behind. I feel a hand on my shoulder. Glancing back, I see the smiling faces of Twilight and Applejack.

“That was very sweet of you, Blake,” Twilight says as she takes her hand off my shoulder.

“Yeah, well, let’s just say they’re not the only ones who have been in a similar situation.” I shudder as the memory of being mocked in high school for not having the latest tech flashes through my mind.

“So, who are those other two fillies?” Applejack asks.

“The white one with the curly hair is Sweetie Belle, sister to Rarity, and the other one is Scootaloo.” I see Pinkie waving to me from the corner of the room. “Looks like I’m needed elsewhere. You girls have a pleasant day now.”

I walk over to Pinkie. “So, what’s up?”

“The party’s almost over! We need to clean up and store the excess food—”

“Cleaning up, got it.” Grabbing a trash can, I make my way towards one of the booths. Clearing it and a few other booths of plates and silverware, I reach the table where the Crusaders are. They are lightly munching on muffins when I walk up.

Apple Bloom looks up at me. “Oh, Blake! I’d like ya ta meet my new friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!” She points to the respective pony after saying each name.

“Pleasure to meet you. In case you haven’t figured it out, my name is Blake.”

“Hey, thanks for sticking up for us earlier.”

“It was no problem at all, Scoots.”

“Hey, maybe he can help us out again!” Sweetie shouts.

I sit down in a nearby chair after clearing their table. “What seems to be the problem?”

“We’re trying to come up with names for our secret society,” Sweetie says with a smile on her face.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo facepalm. “Sweetie, the whole point of ah secret society is ta not tell anypony about it! Ya just did!”

“I did?” She thinks for a second then hangs her head, “I guess I did.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it. I won’t tell a soul.”

“Well, okay. Here’s what we thought of so far.” Sweetie slides a paper across the table to me.

Glancing at it, I can already tell every single one is bad based on the first two. Seriously, they actually have “The Three Fillies Looking For Their Cutie Marks” and “A Secret Society” as a name. “Well, they certainly are… unique.”

“You can say that again,” Scootaloo says, rolling her eyes.

I think for a second. “How about the Cutie Collection Crew?”

“The Cutie Chasers?” Apple Bloom suggests.

“The Filly Friends?”

Sweetie is staring off into space muttering crew over and over. “I got it!” She yells, slamming her hands down on the table.

We’re all staring at her. “Well?” Apple Bloom says, motioning with her hand to continue.

“Oh, right. How about the Cutie Mark Crusaders?!”

“Ah like it!”

“I don’t know what a crusader is, but it sounds awesome!”

“Then it’s settled. You three shall be named the Cutie Mark Crusaders, or the CMC for short.”

“Blake! Are you almost finished out there?” I hear Pinkie yell from the kitchen.

“Just a few more tables, then we’re good! Well, I’d love to stay and chat,” I stand up, “But I need to get back to work.”

“Okay! Thanks again for helping us!”

After clearing the rest of the tables, I head into the kitchen. Standing before me is Mister Cake and Pinkie. “Is everything cleaned up out there?” Mister Cake asks.

I hold up the trash can. “This should be the last of it.”

“Great, which means you’re done for the day. Thank you so much for helping out,” He hands me a pouch, “If you ever need any more work, let me or Pinkie know.”

“Yeppers! It was really fun working with you. I hope you come back again so we can bake some more!”

“Thanks again for giving me a job. You two have a wonderful afternoon.” I say as I walk out of the kitchen, then out onto the street. Welp, time to go home, eat, play video games, and sleep, in that order.

Fall Weather Friends or Shameless AppleDash Shipping, Ho!

“Permanent Vacation”

Fall Weather Friends or Shameless AppleDash Shipping, Ho!

I awake with a groan since somebody is banging my front door like the world is going to end. Grumbling as I crawl out of bed, I shuffle to the front door. Opening it, I am greeted by Rainbow Dash, who is wearing a black long sleeve and dark blue sweatpants. I shiver slightly as a blast of cold air hits me.

“Blake, me and Applejack are having an Iron Pony Contest!”

I stare at her. “So, what’s this got to do with me? I was trying to sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about that. Anyway, we need a judge and you’re closer than Twilight.”

I glance over her shoulder. “Rainbow, Twilight’s house is right behind you. How am I closer than Twilight? We live side by side!”

“Come on! Just do it already! We’re wasting time that I could be using to kick Applejack’s ass!”

I sigh. “Fine, fine. Just let me change, eat, and get a cup of coffee. It’s too early for this shit.”

“Fine! But hurry it up!” Shutting the door, I head to my room and change into a blue long sleeve with the words “I can’t say what I’m thinking right now” on it and blue jeans.

Heading into the kitchen, I grab a Pop-Tart and am just about to open the fridge when I pause and look at the table. Sitting on it is a steaming thermos of coffee and a little note beside it. Walking over, I pick up the note and read it.

“Good morning, Blake! I thought you might need this since Dashie and Applejack need a judge and we don’t want the judge to fall asleep cause if the judge falls asleep then we won’t know who won and that would terrible! Drink up and have fun! Pinkie Pie.”

How and why did she come into my house? You know what, fuck it. I give up. I should be mad but I’m not since it’s Pinkie being Pinkie. She was just trying to be a good friend. Besides, it’s not like she would do anything bad, right?

“You do remember Cupcakes, right?”

Maybe I should start locking my doors from now on. And sleep with a baseball bat. That has spikes on it. Yeah, that would work.

I hear more pounding on the door. “Come on! Let’s go already!”

Grabbing the thermos, I throw on a blue and white striped coat and head outside. Twilight, wearing a white jacket over a purple long sleeve and dark purple pants, is standing beside Rainbow.

I glance at Rainbow and scowl. “After waking me up and rushing me to go judge your contest, you still get Twilight?! I thought I was the closer one?!”

“Yeah, well, you were taking too long.”

“Um, guys…”

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths before replying. “I should be angry, but I’m not. Since I’m up, might as well see this contest.”

Checking my mailbox and pocketing my royal stipend, I take a sip of coffee as we walk towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Rainbow leads us to a large open field at the back corner of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack is just finishing setting up the last of the barrels for the slalom course. She waves to us as we approach.

“Ya ready to lose, Rainbow Dash?” Applejack asks with a smirk.

“You ready to get beaten by yours truly?”

I roll my eyes as I walk towards a stump off to the left. Sitting on it, I watch as Applejack takes her position at the left end of the course.

Twilight pulls a stopwatch from a pocket on her jacket. “Alright, Applejack, you ready?” Applejack nods, “On the count of three then. Three, two, one, go!”

Applejack bolts off the starting line, easily weaving back and forth between the barrels. She’s only three barrels from the finish line when she bumps into the second barrel. She stumbles slightly but is able to stay upright and cross the finish line.

“Seventeen seconds, but you nudged the barrel so that’s a five second penalty.” I must admit, I’m impressed with her speed.

“Shoot. Still, twenty two seconds is a mighty respectable time.”

“Step aside! Let a real pony show you how it’s done. They don’t call me Dash for nothing!” Rainbow takes her place at the starting line. Turning her head towards me, she asks, “Can I get a cheer from my fan?”

“Woo. Yay. Go team.” Rainbow glares at me while Applejack is trying to hold in her laughter, “Sorry, I’m not awake enough to do a proper cheer, nor am I invested in this.”

“You ready, Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow shakes her head and returns her focus to the course. “I was born ready!”

“Three, two, one, go!”

Rainbow bolts off the starting line, weaving in and out of the barrels with the most confident smirk on her face. Unlike Applejack, Rainbow avoids every barrel and crosses the finish line.

“Amazing! Sixteen seconds!” Okay, I’m truly impressed with how fast these ponies are.

“Told ya I’m fast!”

Twilight pulls out a rectangular object from another jacket pocket and starts tapping at it. Standing up, I walk over to see that it looks exactly like an iPod with a case to make it look like a book. “Alright, I have the scoreboard set up in my notes.”

“Great. Let’s get this show on the road!” My energy level is starting to pick up. I might actually enjoy this.

By around event ten, the pushup contest, both my energy levels and the crowd increased substantially. Twilight went to get Spike, so that left me in charge of counting how many pushups Rainbow and Applejack did.

“Ninety nine, one hundred, one hundred and one!” I shout as both of them struggle to even get off the ground at this point. Rainbow flaps her wings, allowing her to make one more pushup. Applejack flops to the ground, gasping for air.

“Aw yeah, I win again!”

“Ya cheated! So technically, I win!”

“Oh yeah?! Let’s see what the judge thinks!” All eyes turn to me.

“Did you agree before the contest that no wings were allowed?”

“No, but what’s that got ta do with this?”

“Since you didn’t officially declare the banning of wings and I’m the judge, Rainbow wins this one. Don’t get me wrong, if I wasn’t the judge, I’d side with Applejack on this one.” Hey, I’m not getting the blame for this. This is their screw up, not mine. Applejack and Rainbow glare at each other.

“Blake, what happened? Why does it look like Applejack and Rainbow Dash are about to fight?” I jump slightly at Twilight’s voice. I didn’t even hear her come up behind me.

“Look, I can’t take being the judge anymore. You’re the judge from now on.” As I walk by Twilight, I pat her on the shoulder.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Home. Let me know who won tomorrow. That is, if you want to.”

“She’ll probably forget.”

I chuckle slightly as I head back into town.

As I pass through the market, I notice how eerily quiet it is. Sure, there are still one or two ponies here and there but not the normal hustle and bustle. Stopping in front of a large, dark brown building, I glance up at the sign with a quill and sofa on it. Hopefully, this place carries more than just sofas and quills. Pushing open the door, a little bell chimes above my head.

Glancing around, I notice that the entire building has a dull, dark brown color to it. What really drew my attention is the vast amount of bright colored furniture, which thankfully is more than just sofas. It truly is a smart move on the store owner’s part, drawing attention to the products and not the building itself.

“Welcome to Quills and Sofas! Can I help you find anything today?” A red stallion with a black mane wearing a grey suit asks me.

“Yeah, what do you have in the way of beds?”

“A wide variety, sir. Anything specific you’re looking for?” He asks, leading me towards one of the beds.

“Yeah, how about something designed for pegasi?” The owner swiftly changes direction.

“Certainly, sir.”

After much searching, I finally find the bed I’m looking for. It’s a twin size cloud bed with the frame painted in the colors of the Wonderbolts, with everything needed to build it except for the cloud itself. But damn, that three-hundred bit price tag is high! Guess that’s the power of promotional material. It is heavier than I thought, so I leave it with the owner when he assures me that he’d have it delivered tomorrow to my place. Thanking him profusely, I walk out the store.

“Incoming!” Wait, what?

CRASH

Groaning, I sit up and rub my head. “Why does the universe hate me so much?”

Hearing groaning coming from beside me, I turn my head to see the one and only Derpy Hooves in a bright yellow long sleeve and tan cargo pants. She sits up and looks around, spotting me. “Oh my Celestia, I’m so sorry!”

I stand up, brushing myself off. “Eh, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m so sorry! I get easily distracted.” I glance at her to see her left eye looking up while her right is looking to the right. She tries to stand up but flops back to ground when she puts pressure on her right leg.

I rush over to her side. “Are you alright? I didn’t do this, did I?”

“No, no, you didn’t do this. I injured my leg last week when I crashed,” She blushes and looks away, “And I’m kinda supposed to be relaxing at home on doctor’s orders.”

“Seriously? Come on then, I’ll help you home.” She grabs my outstretched hand and pulls herself up. Wrapping her arm around my neck and leaning against me, we shuffle down the road towards her home.

“You know, I think we didn’t get a proper introduction. My name is Blake.”

“Oh, you’re right! My name is Derpy Hooves.”

We shuffle in silence for a while longer till I can no longer resist the urge to ask about her eyes. But I gotta try to do it subtly. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s up with your eyes?” I mentally facepalm.

“Real smooth, dumbass. You use the word subtle, but I don’t think you know what it means.”

She sighs. “It’s a medical condition.”

“Oh. Have the doctors tried fixing them?”

She looks away from me. “They would, if they knew how.” I hear her sniffle slightly

“Look, I’m sorry if I’m pushing you too far. If you don’t want to tell me anything else, that’s fine.”

We keep walking down roads that Derpy points out for me. She doesn’t say a word, just raises a finger and points down a street. As I look around, I notice the buildings getting closer together and alleyways between them. Eventually, as we round a corner, she speaks up. “Most ponies just look at my eyes and think I’m stupid or that I crash because I can’t see straight,” she sighs before continuing, “but nopony ever asks me if I can see straight.”

“Well, can you see straight?” I look over at her to see her staring back. Well, not exactly since the whole eye thing.

“I can see perfectly fine. It doesn’t affect my sight, just the way my eyes looks.”

“You know, it wouldn’t matter if you could see straight or not, I’d be treating you the same no matter what. And for the record, I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“You really mean that?”

“Of course I do. I’ve learned to never judge people based on looks alone. Looking past your eyes, I can see a brilliant mind working overtime.”

“Thank you,” she blushes slightly and looks away. She point to a building where the door has three bubbles on the center of it. “This is my place.”

She opens the door and looks at me. “Think you can make it from here?”

She giggles slightly. “I don’t know. I might trip and fall before I reach the sofa.”

“Well then, as a gentleman, it is my duty to make sure you safely reach your sofa.”

Walking into her home and immediately hanging a left brings me to her living room. Taking a quick glance around, I see that the walls are painted in a shade similar to Derpy’s skin color. I help her lay down onto a cream colored sofa. Once she’s comfortable, she grabs the remote for the television. Turning it on, she flicks through the channels until she comes to the weather channel.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be alright?”

She waves a hand at me, never taking her eyes off the screen. “I’ll be fine.”

Shrugging my shoulders, I open the door to leave. “Wait.” I look over my shoulder to see Derpy poking her head over the sofa.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks again for helping me.”

“No problem, Derpy. Take care of yourself now.”

“I will! See you around town!”

Shutting the door behind me, I walk towards home. Maybe I can make it there without any further incidents today.

Waking up feeling refreshed, I go through my morning routine. I just finish placing my coffee cup and cereal bowl in the sink when knocking on the door draws my attention. Opening the door, I see Twilight with Spike on her shoulder.

“Good morning, Blake.”

“Morning, Twilight and Spike. What brings you around here?”

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to enter the Running of the Leaves with me.”

I tilt my head. “The running of what now?”

“The Running of the Leaves. It’s a tradition where the runners run through the forest, the force of their running causing the leaves to fall from the trees. It’s my first year in Ponyville, and technically yours too, so I thought we could both be in it.”

“Ah, what the hell, I’m game.”

Twilight leads me to a dirt road at the edge of town where stands have been erected along the sides of the road. Ponies that are competing are stretching or talking to the other competitors. Off to the side, Pinkie is bouncing around a hot air balloon with a megaphone attached to the basket.

“There’s Pinkie! I’m gonna see if you’ll let me do the announcing!” Spike jumps off Twilight’s shoulder and sprints towards Pinkie.

“Come on, Blake. The registration stand should be over here.” I follow Twilight to a little stand near the back of the stands.

As it turns out, signing up is simple. All I have to do is put my name down on a scroll and grab a card with a number on it. Putting my John Hancock down, I step off to the side to allow others to sign up. Grabbing number forty-two, I turn to Twilight. “So, you ready to run?”

Twilight grabs a number off the table then turns to me. “I’m prepared. I’ve read plenty of books telling me how to properly run races.”

We head to the starting line to stretch. I notice Applejack and Rainbow Dash, with a rope that is tied around her and pinning her wings, arguing again.

“Hey, girls!” Applejack and Rainbow Dash turn to look at us.

“Twilight? What are you doing here? I mean, sure, I could see Blake here but you?”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “We’re here to partake in the Running of the Leaves. Since it’s our first year in Ponyville, I thought we could do it together.”

“You’re not the athlete, Twilight, you’re the, well, egghead!” Applejack snickers at Rainbow’s statement.

“I’m not an egghead! I’m well read!”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash share a knowing look. “And who told ya that? Ah book?”

“Why, ye—”

I interrupt Twilight. “Let me stop you right there before you dig your grave even deeper. Can’t you see that these two” I wave my hand at Applejack and Rainbow, “Are trying to goad you on?”

“Come on, Blake! Let’s us have our fun!”

I roll my eyes as I turn to Twilight. “Come on, we’ll show them how to truly run a race.”

“Racers, take your positions!” Pinkie yells into the megaphone from her vantage point above us. Around us, ponies start lining up.

“The race begins in five, four, three, two, one, and race!” Spike yells into the megaphone.

While the rest of the crowd sprints off the starting line, Twilight and I are lightly jogging so that we can still see the crowd but save our energy for the end. As everybody enters the forest, Twilight and I glance at each other and smile.

“Great minds think alike, no?”

“I couldn’t agree with you more, Blake.”

We continue jogging, taking in the scenery, when I notice Applejack trip and fall over a stump. The crowd rushes by her as we catch up.

“Damn it! Ah knew Rainbow would cheat!” She turns to us, “Ya’ll saw her do it, right?”

“Applejack, if you were paying attention, you would have noticed the stump that you tripped over!”

“Well…” She notices the crowd getting away, “Shoot, Ah need ta catch up!” She sprints off after the crowd.

Twilight and I continue jogging, sighing at the exact same time. We glance at each other and laugh. After some further jogging, this time I see Rainbow Dash trip over a root as the crowd rushes by her.

“Damn it, Applejack!” She yells, shaking a fist towards the crowd.

“Should we tell her?” Twilight whispers to me.

“Just follow my lead.”

Rainbow looks behind her and sees us. “Twilight, Blake! You saw—”

“You tripped over a root,” I say in a singsong voice as we jog past Rainbow, “And you’re in last place!”

Rainbow jumps up. “What?! No way is Applejack beating me!” She sprints by us towards the crowd.

“You know, I’m enjoying this a lot more than I thought I would.” I must admit that this is true. The bright orange and red leaves coupled with the shining sun above makes the land look like it is straight from a painting. It also helps that I am enjoying my time with Twilight, bonding over the beauty of nature.

“Me too, Blake.”

A while later, the forest starts to thin out around us and the crowd seems to be slowing down. Twilight and I glance at each other. “The finish line is coming up. Time for us to put all that knowledge on running races to use.”

“Let’s do it! Go Team Bookworm!” I yell as we break into a sprint.

“Team Bookworm!” Twilight yells with equal passion as we pass by most of the crowd.

Up ahead, I can see the finish line. Twilight and I pass by all the other racers, leaving us competing for first and second. I pull ahead slightly, only for her to catch right back up. We jockey back and forth between first and second as the finish line gets closer. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Twilight stumble slightly. Now’s my chance. Using the last of my energy, I push ahead just enough for me to take first as we cross the finish line.

We stand there panting for breath as the spectators cheer for us. Twilight and I look at each other and nod. Glancing behind her, I notice a lemonade stand set up with the Crusaders manning it. I motion for Twilight to follow me as we walk over to the stand.

“Great race, guys!” Scootaloo says.

“Thanks. So, you’re selling lemonade today?”

“Yep! We’re trying ta get our lemonade selling Cutie Marks!”

“Well, I would like to help in your effort. How much for a cup?” Twilight asks.

“Ten bits, please!” Sweetie Belle says.

“Why is the price so high?!” Twilight and I yell.

“Because we’re the only ones selling to the racers,” Apple Bloom smirks, “And when there’s no other seller, we get ta set the price.”

“You’re an evil little club, but that’s why I love ya!” I reach into my pocket and fish out the ten bits, handing them to Apple Bloom.

“Thank you, Blake!” The Crusaders yell in perfect harmony as Sweetie pours some lemonade into a plastic cup, which I take from her.

Twilight hands Apple Bloom her money as I take a sip. “So, how awesome does it taste?” Scootaloo asks.

I smack my lips together. There is no sweetness to it, only sour. Twilight takes a sip and nearly spits it out. “Uh, did you put any sugar in this?” She asks after swallowing.

“No. Were we supposed to?” Sweetie asks.

“Yeah, but I think it tastes great.” I down the rest of my drink and toss the cup in a trash can off to the side of the stand. Twilight hands me her cup and I down it too.

“How can you drink that? No offense, girls, but it needs sugar.”

I shrug my shoulders. “When you live with a family that puts sugar in everything, you kinda wean yourself off of it if you want to lead a healthier lifestyle.” I’m not kidding. My family puts sugar in almost everything. What kind of sane person puts sugar in chili?

“Hey! Numbers forty-two, ninety-eight, and three, get your cutie patooties moving to the podium for your shiny medals!”

“You heard Pinkie. Let’s get our medals!” Twilight and I wave to the Crusaders as we walk towards a three tier podium set up directly in front of the stands.

Ivory Scroll, still dressed in her suit, is already there, along with a mint colored unicorn wearing dark blue carpenter jeans and a blue and white striped jacket over a black shirt with a lyre in the center. Ivory turns to us. “Ah, Blake, Twilight, congratulations on taking first and second place.”

“Thank you, Mayor,” We both say.

“Now, if you please, take your spots on the podium and we’ll award you three.”

I climb up to the center tier and turn to face the crowd with Twilight on my left and the unicorn, who I assume is Lyra, on my right.

“Attention, everypony, attention! I would like to announce the top three finishers of this year’s Running of the Leaves!”

“Our first place finisher is Blake Quinter!” Ivory pins a gold medal with a design of a pony running between two trees as the leaves fall from them to my shirt. My hearing is drowned in a sea of ponies clapping. I cup a hand over my ear and lean out towards the crowd, urging them to cheer louder.

Once the cheering dies down, Ivory steps in front of Twilight. “Our second place finisher is Twilight Sparkle!” The crowd cheers as the mayor pins a silver medal to Twilight’s shirt. She blushes and looks away. Ivory then steps in front of Lyra. “And our third place finisher is Lyra Heartstrings!” Lyra waves to the crowd as the she pins the bronze medal to her shirt.

“Let’s hear it for our winners, everypony!” The crowd cheers as we all smile for a photo. After the photo, we step down from the podium.

“I won!”

“No, ah won!” Applejack and Rainbow argue over by the finish line, sweat dripping from their clothes.

“Actually, you both tied for last!” Pinkie yells down from her balloon.

“Tied for last?! Then who came in first?!” They both yell.

Twilight walks over to them. They both turn to her. “Twilight?!”

She smirks. “Actually, no. I got second place. Not bad for a mare that’s never ran a race before.”

“But… Who came in first?”

“You’re looking at him,” I say as I walk over to them.

They all turn to face me. “Blake?!” Applejack and Rainbow yell, the expression on their face a look of pure shock.

I start jogging in place. Placing two fingers on my neck and pretending to look at a watch on my left arm, I yell, “I’m not even winded!”

“But… how?” Applejack asks while she scratches her head.

“Twilight, if you would please explain our method.”

“With pleasure. It’s just like my book said, pace yourself. Take it nice and easy in the beginning, then when all the other racers are tired, you use your saved energy to pass the competition!”

“Maybe if you two weren’t so busy trying to get revenge on the other, you might have actually won,” I say.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight yells, causing all of us to turn around.

Celestia calmly walks over to us, ponies bowing to her. “Twilight,” Celestia embraces her in a hug, “Congratulations on finishing second. Did you enjoy your first Running of the Leaves?”

Twilight steps back from the hug, nodding her head. “Certainly! Having Blake with me made the experience more enjoyable.”

Celestia looks at me. “And I take it you enjoyed it as well, Blake?”

I nod my head. “While I’m not much of an outdoors person, I will admit I enjoyed spending time with Twilight.” I notice Twilight blush. I probably could have worded that differently, but alas, it is too late now.

“Wonderful. Did you learn anything about the magic of friendship today, Twilight?"

Twilight places a hand to her chin. “Yes,” She points to Applejack and Rainbow, “But I think they learned more about friendship than me today.”

“Hate to interrupt, but I’m gonna be heading home. If anybody needs me, you know where I live.”

“Okay. Thanks for coming, Blake!” Twilight yells as I walk away.

“Thanks for inviting me!” I yell over my shoulder as I walk back into town.

I reach the town square and sit on the edge of a large fountain outside of town hall. Ponies are busy hanging up decorations like spiders and ghosts. Glancing in to the fountain’s clear water, I see multiple bits at the bottom. Taking a bit out of my pocket, I casually flick it into the waters, watching it sink to the bottom of the fountain.

“Blake! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

I look away from the fountain to see Rarity, in a white button down jacket and dark blue jeans, walking towards me.

“What’s going on, Rarity?”

“For starters, I would like to congratulate you for taking first place.”

Man, word travels fast in this town. “Thanks, but I don’t think you wanted to tell me just that.”

“Of course not, dearie. I just finished your outfit for the Gala and would like your opinion on it. If you would be so kind as to accompany me to the Boutique?” Rarity holds out her hand.

I grab her hand and stand up. “Let’s get going then.”

I follow her to the Boutique. Upon entering, she magically pulls over a rack of clothes. Grabbing a black suit, she hands it to me. “You can change over there, dear,” She points to a privacy screen. “When you’re finished, come to my stage so we can get a proper look.”

I step out from behind the screen after tucking the shirt into my pants. “Oh my, that looks simply ravishing on you.”

Stepping up to the stage, I turn back and forth, getting a good look at the outfit. It fits perfectly; not too tight, but not too loose. It’s exactly what I wanted, but she went one step further and put gold cloth at the wrists and collar. Coupled with the black tie and white undershirt, I will admit that I look good.

“Please, we can make anything look good.”

“Well, what do you think?”

“Rarity… It’s amazing!”

“Wonderful! I just knew you’d love the little additions I made. Oh, we’re forgetting the most important part of your ensemble!” Her horn glows and, due to the reflection of the mirror, I see a black fedora with a white band around the center levitate off a table and over to me. Grabbing it, I put it on.

“Oh my! That looks simply ravishing on you!”

“Rarity, I don’t know what to say, other than thank you! Thank you so much for doing this! I hope it wasn’t too much trouble for you.”

“It was no trouble at all, dear.”

“You sure I don’t need to pay you anything for this?”

“Of course not. Consider it a gift from a friend.”

After changing, Rarity walks me to the door. As I start to step outside, she says, “In case I don’t see you tomorrow, have a wonderful Nightmare Night.”

I stop and turn around to look at her. “Nightmare Night?”

She tilts her head to the left. “Yes?” Her eyes widen, “Oh, that’s right. I keep forgetting that you’re not from here, terribly sorry about that. Any who, Nightmare Night is a celebration where everypony dresses up and goes around town asking for candy.”

“So, it’s kinda like Halloween. Well then, I know what I’m doing tomorrow. Thanks for the heads up, Rarity, and happy Nightmare Night if I don’t see you.”

“Anytime, dear.” She waves to me before shutting the door.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Dude, you’re a voice in my head. Whatever you think of, I’ll know about.”

“Oh, right… Do you agree on what or who we should go as?”

“Definitely. Come tomorrow night, we’ll have the best costume in town.”

Welcome to Nightmare Night

“Permanent Vacation”

Welcome to Nightmare Night

Well, this is perfect. I had it all planned out for who I would be cosplaying as when fate decides to throw me a curveball. Right now, I’m frantically digging through boxes, looking for the only two pieces of his costume that I’m missing.

“Come on! It has to be here somewhere!”

“Have you tried looking in the box with your old Halloween costumes?”

I roll my eyes. “No, I didn’t think of that. Let me go check.”

“Well, there’s your problem. You just—”

“Of course I checked that box you idiot! It has everything from my old costumes, but not what I’m looking for!”

“Even your old Mario outfit with that water spraying backpack thing?! I love that one! Especially that cardboard cutout Yoshi you wore with it! We were the talk of the school that day! ”

“Does it look like I care about that? I probably don’t even fit into the clothes anymore. But yes, that was one of the best days of my life.”

“Wait. Is that what you’re looking for?!” I shift around some of the junk covering the items I’m, hopefully, looking for.

I smile at the items before me. Reaching into the box, I pull them out. “Yes! I knew I still had them. Why are they with my Saint Patrick’s Day stuff? Ah, who cares! My outfit is now complete!”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

I think for a second as I head into the bathroom to look at myself. “Nope, can’t think of anything wrong with my outfit.”

“Not the outfit you twit! It’s Nightmare Night and kids are expecting something sweet and sugary!”

I gasp. “How could I forget the candy? You think they’ll notice if I use six month old candy?”

“Dude, its kids… and Pinkie we’re talking about here. Pretty sure they don’t care how old it is, just as long as it’s sweet and sugary.”

“Voice, what would I do without you?”

“Crawl into a corner, curl into a ball, die alone.”

I finish looking myself over in the mirror. Looks like I did it again with pulling off his look. “I’m gonna let that sentence slide. Let’s get that bowl of candy ready, put up some decorations, and do a quick refresher before going out tonight.”

I go into the kitchen and grab one of those bowls with the motion activated zombie hand sticking out of the center. After filling it up and taping a note to the front, I head into the living room and plop down on the couch. Turning on the Xbox, I lean back as the home screen loads.

“Tonight is going to be so epic!”

“You said it buddy.”

In the span of twenty-four hours, the town has gone all out for Nightmare Night. Even Twilight got into the spirit of things with skeletons and ghosts hanging from the library branches. She even has a light fog hanging around the tree. I stroll down the street, casually twirling my cane and taking in the décor.

“Happy Nightmare Night, Blake!”

I glance to the right to see Pinkie, dressed in a chicken outfit (God damn, why is she wearing that bib?! Please tell me I’m not going to see three other ponies dressed up as… Them.), and a group of kids right behind her running towards me. “Pinkie, how’d you know it was me? And happy Nightmare Night, as well.”

“Well, duh! You’re the only one in town that doesn’t have a tail!”

“In hindsight, I probably should have known that. Anyway, nice outfit.”

“Thanks! I like your outfit too! Oh, hang on a second.” She turns to the kids. “Alrighty! Like we rehearsed!”

They all take a deep breath. “Nightmare Night, what a fright, give us something sweet tonight!” All the kids say in perfect unison.

“Nice teamwork, but I don’t have any candy on me. But,” I point with my cane towards my home, “I have a bowl outside filled to the brim with candy. Everybody gets one piece. But only if you answer my—”

“You heard the man! Free candy!” Pinkie and the kids charge towards my house.

“—Riddle.” I stand there and watch. Pinkie gets there before anyone else and reaches her hand out to grab a piece. She jumps back in fright as the hand reaches down and touches her hand. I can’t help laughing at her.

“Dude, she is one messed up girl. I like her!”

“What are you talking about? I’ve seen plenty of people get scared by those things.”

“Not that! Look between her legs.”

“I thought I told you I didn’t need help with that sort of thing… yet! Or never for that matter!”

“She laid a frecking egg, you idiot!”

“Seriously?!” I look and can’t believe that the voice is right. Right on the ground between Pinkie’s legs is an egg. How in the world does that even work?! Where did it come from?! Why am I caring?!

“Happy Nightmare Night, Blake!”

I turn to the voice to see Twilight, wearing a Starswirl the Bearded costume, and Spike in a smaller version of the Royal Guard armor. “Happy Nightmare Night, Twilight and Spike. Nice Starswirl outfit.”

“Thanks! Glad to see somepony recognizes my outfit.”

“Well, he’s only the father of the amniomorphic spell.”

“Ah, so I see you’ve been reading those books I lent you.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Well, if I’m gonna be here a while, might as well learn about the history of the land.”

“So, who are you supposed to be?” Spike asks.

I pace back and forth in front of them. “Ah, I shall answer your question with a question. Get it right, and I shall tell you my name. Riddle me this! I am an instrument who music comes from the heart. What am I?”

Twilight thinks a second before answering. “An organ.”

“Oh, very good, very good indeed, Twilight Sparkle. But don’t let it go to your head, for that is only a taste of what is to come. Today, no one will be able to match the intellect of the Riddler!”

“So, you’re the Riddler? Who’s that?”

“He’s only a villain from the universe of Batman, and one of my favorite comic book characters.”

“He’s a villain?” Spike asks.

“Yeah, but he always leaves clues behind that foil his master plan.”

“Why would he do that? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of him not revealing his master plan?”

“He wants to prove to everyone that he is the smartest person alive, a challenge that Batman always beats him at. If Batman can’t figure out the clues, then the Riddler wins because he proved that he can outsmart the Batman.”

“Blake! Blake!” We all turn to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders running towards us. Apple Bloom is dressed as a werewolf, Sweetie Belle is dressed as a vampire, and Scootaloo is dressed as a skeleton.

“Happy Nightmare Night!” Twilight, Spike, and I say.

“Happy Nightmare Night!” They say back.

“So, you three are looking for me? If it’s about candy, it’s over at my place.”

“Uh, Twilight, Spike? Ya mind if we talk ta Blake? In private?”

Twilight laughs. “Sure thing, girls. I’ll see you later, alright, Blake?”

“Sure thing, Twi. You two have fun now!” I wave to them as they walk off.

“So,” I turn back to the Crusaders, “What do you three want? A chaperone for tonight?”

Scootaloo smirks. “Nah, we only found something awesome! Well, not as awesome as Rainbow Dash.”

“Yeah! We found—”

Apple Bloom places her hand over Sweetie’s mouth. “What Sweetie means ta say is that ya need to see it for yerself.” All three girls nod their head.

“Well then, take me to whatever you found.”

The girls lead me to the edge of the Everfree. “Apple Bloom, have you not learned your lesson about going into the Everfree on your own?”

“Yeah, but if ya heard what we heard, you’d be curious too.”

“Besides, it’s not that far in.” Scootaloo waves a hand at me as they walk in.

Might as well follow them and find out what this little surprise is. “So, should I be worried about what I’m going to see?”

“No, she’s really nice once you get to know her,” Sweetie says.

“Wait, she?”

“We’re here.” Scootaloo says before nodding to the rest of the Crusaders.

Before I can react, the Crusaders burst into a clearing. Sweetie did say she, right?

“Princess, we’re back!” I hear the Crusaders shout.

“Princess?!

Princess?! Stepping into the clearing, I immediately notice Princess Luna, looking far less formal than her sister in a black hoodie and dark blue jeans, in the center of the clearing. Off to the side sits a moon themed chariot with two bat pony guards in dark blue armor in front of it. They are watching me and slowly reaching for spears on their backs.

“Is it me, or is it weird that they still pull chariots?”

“Don’t care. Princess of the night in front of us!”

“Princess, we brought Blake, just like you asked!” Scootaloo says.

“You have done well, little fillies.” Oh God, is that voice heavenly. Luna turns her attention to me.

“Quick, think fast!”

Taking off my hat, I get down on one knee. “Princess, it is an honor to meet you.”

“The honor is all mine, Blake of Earth. Arise, so that we may speak face to face.”

Standing up, I notice that Luna is shorter than her sister, to the point that I don’t have to crane my neck to look at her face. “Forgive me for asking, but you seem far less formal than your sister. Also, you’ve been gone a thousand years. No offense, but shouldn’t you be speaking in anarchic Equish?”

“One of the first things thy sister taught me upon my return was how to speak modern Equish, along with the changes in customs. As for being informal tonight, tis all on the suggestion of my sister. She wished for me to come out tonight and make some friends, seeking out the ones called Blake and Twilight Sparkle to start. She also suggested that we… I mean, I dress down to make myself more approachable.”

“Speaking of which,” I turn to the Crusaders, “How did you three find her?”

“Well, we heard singing and decided ta investigate.”

I glance at Luna. “Singing?”

“An old lullaby that our sister sang to us during our younger years to calm us down.” Ah, yes. Princess Luna being nervous about how ponies will react upon seeing her. I believe I may be able to cure that tonight.

“And then we started talking and she told us stories from her past!”

“Yeah, Princess Luna is really cool once you get to know her!”

“She asked us ta find ya and bring ya here.”

“Okay, so that explains how you found her,” I turn to Luna, “But why did Celestia want you to seek me out?”

Luna shrugs her shoulders. I’m liking her more and more. “I do not know.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re both strangers in a foreign land!” Sweetie says.

“She can be a klutz, but she can also be the smartest one of those three.”

“Actually, that’s probably why. But why aren’t you in town enjoying the festivities?”

Luna looks at the ground and wrings her hands together. “I’m afraid of what ponies will think of me. Will they still see me as Nightmare Moon? Will I make friends?”

I put my hand on Luna’s shoulder, having to reach up just to do so. “Luna, you already have four friends in us.”

Luna looks at me. “Really?”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ROYAL FRIENDS!” The Crusaders yell, causing everyone else to cover their ears from the volume.

Making sure the Crusaders are done, I continue. “As for the afraid of you part, ponies will probably still be afraid of you, even though you have been reformed.”

Luna sighs and looks at the moon. “I was afraid of that.”

“But we can change that. Tonight is Nightmare Night, the one night a year where it is fun to be scary, to a limit, and scared. We’re gonna show the town that you’re funny scary with an epic prank,” I walk away from Luna and turn around to face everybody. Everyone is watching me, “All of us.”

“Even us?” Apple Bloom asks.

“Even you three, and please turn the shout down to a whisper.”

“Cutie Mark Crusader Pranksters!” They whisper-shout.

“Are you sure this will work?”

“If you don’t believe me, there is one person you can ask.”

“Who?” The Crusaders and Luna ask.

“You better hope this works or you’re gonna look like a complete idiot.”

I take a deep breath. “Telling a secret is the fastest way to lose a friends trust.”

“For-Ever!” Pinkie, still dressed in her chicken outfit, yells as she pops out from behind Luna, causing everyone to jump at her presence. Fucking jump scares! Hell, I thought she would pop out from behind me!

“Where did she come from?” Luna asks.

“Luna, the first thing I’ve learned, or am still trying to learn, is don’t question Pinkie Pie. Also, don’t you ever do that again dressed like that, Pinkie!”

“Pinkie Pie? As in the Element of Laughter?”

“Yeppers, that’s me! So,” Pinkie wraps an arm around Luna, “You wanna make some friends but are afraid of them being scared of you? Don’t worry, you friend Pinkie Pie has got you covered. Nightmare Night is when it’s fun to be scared by others! Last year, I made the best haunted house in the basement of Sugercube Corner and ponies loved it!”

“Why does that statement scare me?”

“How did you know all that?” Luna asks.

“Silly, I’m reading the text above us!” We all look up but I can’t see anything.

“Oh shit! Can she see me?!”

“Dude, you’re a voice in my head. I don’t think she—”

“Hey, watch your language, mister! There are fillies present!”

“I stand corrected.”

“I’m sorry! It won’t happen again!”

“That’s okay! I know they can’t see you. Oh, what’s that I see about a prank?!”

“Pinkie… How… You know what, nevermind. I’m thinking that if we pull a scary prank on the town, people will come to see Luna as funny and friendly.”

“A prank on the town? Count me in!” Scootaloo’s wings buzz in excitement.

“Count me in too!” Apple Bloom says with a smile.

Sweetie looks confused. “Uh, me three!” She says while bouncing in place.

“You know I can’t resist a prank! Let Ponyville tremble before our pranking!” Pinkie says before reaching into her suit and pulling out some candy, which she devours in seconds.

“I don’t know… Are you sure ponies will find it funny?” Luna keeps glancing from the ground to our faces.

“Luna, did Celestia tell you about what I know?”

“Yes, but what… Oh.”

“Exactly. Just trust me on this.”

“Very well. Let the pranking be quadrupled!”

“Alright! Everybody, huddle up and we’ll discuss our plan!”

“Can I tell the plan? Pretty please with a cherry and extra sprinkles and chocolate sauce on top?” Pinkie asks once our little prank circle is formed.

I roll my eyes. “Pinkie, you’re welcome to guess.”

“Okay! So here’s the plan,” She leans forward and everybody else does the same, “Whisper, whisper, whisper.”

We all stare at Pinkie. “Pinkie, what was that? All ya said was whisper three times,” Apple Bloom says.

“Weird. Usually when I do that, everypony knows the plan and the scene changes.”

“Okay… Now that whatever that was is taken care of, let me tell you the plan I have.”

“Hey! There’s those transition things! How come they didn’t work for me?!”

“Pinkie! I’m trying to tell the plan here so pay attention!”

“Oops, sorry.”

We all agreed on the plan and rehearsed our lines multiple times before heading back into town. I head towards city hall, expecting for that to be the most likely place to find Twilight. Currently, it is the spot where the largest gathering of ponies can be found. In front of town hall, a large stage, currently home to Vinyl and her turntable, and dance floor have been set up. I look out over the crowd of ponies dancing and find Twilight sitting on a bench off to the side. Walking over, I sit down beside her and lean back into the bench.

“So, enjoying your first Nightmare Night in Ponyville?”

Twilight looks at me. “As a matter of fact, yes. How about you?”

I shrug my shoulders. “It could be a little more exciting but yes, I am enjoying myself.”

I notice Pinkie waving to me over by some bushes. I nod and tap my cane of the ground twice. At this, Luna flies in, without her royal chariot, and lands in front of the dance floor.

“Princess Luna!” Twilight jumps off the bench as ponies finally take notice of Luna and bow, some even shaking in fear.

Luna turns around. “Twilight Sparkle, I presume?”

“Yes! It is such—”

Luna turns back to the crowd. I glance around and see the other Elements arriving. “Citizens of Ponyville! I regret to inform you that tonight’s festivities must be cancelled!”

“Cancelled?!” Twilight yells. Some ponies seem confused, shouting out variations of why.

“Twilight Sparkle, please listen to me!” Luna begs. “Please get these ponies inside and prepare the Elements. I do not know how much time we—” Some clouds previously blocking the moon part. “Oh no, we are too late! Quick, Twilight, before she comes again!”

“Princess, who is coming again?!”

Luna doesn’t get to answer as a black beam shoots out from the moon and engulfs her. We all back away as Luna screams in pain. I look around for Spike. “Spike, if you can hear me, get a letter to Celestia, now!”

“Right away!”

“Uh, Blake, you may want to see this!” Twilight yells.

I turn around to see that everything about Luna has changed. Her clothes have been replaced with dark blue armor with spikes that covers every inch of her body except for the head. On the chestpiece, a full moon with the Mare in the Moon symbol is plastered directly in the center. As an added touch, a dark blue glow runs throughout the armor.

“Nightmare Moon! Twilight yells, causing Fluttershy to epp.

Nightmare Moon laughs manically with the accompaniment of thunder and lighting. “The night shall last forever!”

“But how?! The Elements of Harmony defeated you!” Twilight yells. By now, the girls have lined up beside Twilight, all except for Pinkie.

Nightmare Moon looks at us. “Ah, the Elements of Harmony. Did you really think you could get rid of me so easily?”

“Uh, yeah?” Rainbow Dash replies.

“You fools! You only destroyed part of me! I left a little piece of myself on the moon, waiting for the perfect chance to strike again!”

“You won’t get away with this, Nightmare Moon! The Elements of Harmony defeated you once and they can do it again!”

The Crusaders jump out from behind some bushes. “Twilight! Twilight! Did ya see the—”

“Well now, what do we have here? Some volunteers to join my army?” Nightmare Moon cuts off Apple Bloom.

Nightmare Moon shoots a black beam out of her horn, straight towards the Crusaders. I’m already on an intercept course with the beam, Pinkie doing the exact same thing. Pinkie and I stand in front of the beam and grasp hands. We scream in pain and writhe in agony as the beam hits us.

Actually, I feel no pain since this is part of the plan. As Luna’s illusion spell takes effect, I feel a slight chill pass through my body.

“Blake! Pinkie!” I hear the Crusaders shout before white hands wrap around my waist. The Crusaders join us in screaming in ‘pain’.

There is a loud popping sound, which is our cue to cut the pain act and slip into our minion act. For each of us, I had Luna cast an illusion spell on our clothes that would make them appear differently to everyone. I’m wearing a black button down jacket and pants with razor sharp thorns sticking out of them and, for added effect, red glowing eyes, a green glow around the cuffs of my jacket, and pale white skin. I glance over at Pinkie. Instead of Pinkie, I see a black shadow of Pinkie with bright yellow eyes, razor sharp claws, two antennas that jut up from the top of her head and reach halfway down her back, and fangs. I don’t need to look at the Crusaders to know they look the same as Pinkie.

We all look towards Nightmare Moon. I step forward and get down on one knee. “What is thy bidding, our master?” Nice touch Luna, making my voice much deeper.

“Oh, this is priceless! I only wanted three minions, and yet I get five! And one of them is an Element of Harmony! Can this night get any better?!” Nightmare Moon says in between her laughter.

“Even without Pinkie, we’ll still stop you and save our friends!” I can hear the fear in Twilight’s voice and see her eyes darting between the girls and us.

“Arise, my minion, arise,” I stand up, “Go and spread darkness so that the world will know that Nightmare Moon has returned!”

I turn around to face the crowd of ponies, most of them backing away. I crack my neck and knuckles. “With pleasure, my queen.”

“Let our friends go!” Rainbow shouts before flying towards Nightmare Moon. Thankfully, I planned for something like this to happen.

Shadow Sweetie’s horn glows dark blue and Rainbow Dash is stopped mid-flight. Shadow Sweetie shakes her head. “You should know better than to attack our queen,” She says in a deep voice. Even though Sweetie’s horn is glowing, Nightmare Moon is the one actually stopping Rainbow Dash

“Hey! Let me go!” Rainbow Dash says as she struggles to break free of the magical grasp.

I walk over and trace a finger along Rainbow’s face. “You would have made a fine soldier under my command, but sadly, a crime like this cannot go unpunished. Now I need to make an example of you. But what method shall I use?”

Shadow Pinkie’s stomach growls. “Hunger…” she growls out, snapping her teeth at Rainbow Dash.

“Ah, it looks like my soldier is hungry. And we have the perfect specimen right here! How convenient! I do wonder what pony meat tastes like. Perhaps like chicken, or maybe even beaver?” I smile as Rainbow’s eyes go wide.

“Uh, somepony?! Anypony?! Help me out here!”

“Nobody is going to help you. Not after they’ve seen what will happen to those that cross the path of our queen.”

“Halt, my minion.”

I turn to Nightmare Moon. “Yes, my queen?”

“Let’s let her see the faces on her ‘friend’ one last time.”

I bow. “As you wish my queen.” I turn back to face Rainbow as the cold sensation fades from my head.

Everybody gasps. “Blake! You gotta fight it! Don’t let her do this! Please!” Rainbow shouts.

“I… I… I can’t! She’s just too powerful! Please, everybody, just run! It’s not safe anymore!” The cold sensation slowly returns to my head. “No. No! Please let me go! I don’t wanna go back, it’s so cold! Please!” The cold sensation fully returns.

“I think that was a fitting last gift, wouldn’t you agree, my soldier?” Nightmare Moon asks.

“As fitting as any, my queen. Now where were we? Ah, yes. Making an example of this pathetic specimen.” Rainbow gulps as I reach towards her.

A bright light in the sky above forces me to shield my eyes and step back, hissing in “pain”. The light floats down and lands beside Twilight. After a pop sound, the light disappears and Princess Celestia is standing there with an angry glare directed at Nightmare Moon. Her horn lights up and Rainbow Dash is teleported to her side. “That is quite enough out of you, Nightmare Moon.”

“Ah, Princess Celestia,” Nightmare Moon bows, “What an honor for you to meet me on my return. Tell me, have you come with the terms of your surrender?”

“I will never surrender to the likes of you! I’ll defeat your minions and release my sister from your grasp!”

“Princess, you can’t! Her minions are Pinkie, Blake, and the Crusaders!” Twilight shouts.

“Yes, you wouldn’t want to hurt her precious ‘friends’ now, would you?” Nightmare Moon laughs and us ‘minions’ laugh with her.

Celestia gasps. “How could you?! Why would you do this?!”

“Isn’t it obvious? When making demands, make sure you always have the upper hand. My minions would gladly give their lives in protection of me. Can the same be said of your ponies, Celestia?”

“Princess, what should we do?” Twilight asks.

Celestia looks torn, glancing between Twilight and us. She sighs. “I have no choice. In exchange for my subjects’ safety, I will meet your demands.”

Everybody on Celestia’s side gasps. “Princess! But you can’t give in to her! She’s Nightmare Moon!”

“I see no other choice that doesn’t risk the safety of my subjects. What are your demands?” I notice several ponies glance at each other, probably fearing the worst.

Nightmare Moon throws back her head and shouts, “We demand all of the candy collected tonight in tribute of our power!”

“Excellent demand, my queen!” I say

“Laying it on a bit thick, don’t ya think?”

“Quiet, I’m in the zone.”

“I shall never give you eternal—” Celestia blinks a few times, “What did you demand?”

“I said that we demand all the candy collected tonight in tribute of our power! You try being stuck on the moon for a thousand years with nothing to satisfy your sweet tooth,” Nightmare Moon huffs.

Ponies are now glancing at each other in confusion. “Okay… your demand shall be met. Now release—”

“I am not finished! I also demand that we be called the best princess!”

“Best demand ever!”

Twilight blinks a few times. “Is this really happening, or did I stay up too late and am now dreaming this?” She asks.

Celestia smirks slightly. “Is that all of your demands, Nightmare Moon?”

“No, for we would also like to say…” we all line up beside Nightmare Moon, “Happy Nightmare Night!” we all shout.

“Wait… are y’all saying what ah think you’re saying?”

“Sorry for scaring ya, big sis.” Apple Bloom says.

I turn to Nightmare Moon. “Luna, would you mind removing the illusion spell so they can understand what just happened?” Luna nods as her horn lights up. I feel the cold sensation fade away as the crowd gasps at us.

“Hello, my subjects! Your princess would like to say that you just got pranked!” Luna shouts as us pranksters high five.

Twilight steps forward. “So… it was all a prank? Nightmare Moon hasn’t returned and we’re all safe?”

“Yuppers!” Pinkie says, bouncing in place as candy falls out of her suit.

“That was awesome! You really had me going there!” Rainbow flies over and high fives Scootaloo. “Best prank I’ve seen in ages!”

“Thanks, Rainbow Dash!”

Celestia claps her hands and laughs. The crowd slowly joins in until it becomes a roar of clapping and cheers. The five of us take a bow. Luna stands back up and shouts, “Happy Nightmare Night to all! Please enjoy the festivities in honor of this glorious night!” The crowd cheers and goes back to partying.

“Nice job, team! The plan went off without a hitch and the entire town doesn’t fear Luna anymore! See, Luna, I told you it would work!”

“And I must thank you, Blake. You have my eternal thanks.”

“Blake! Thanks for including us in the prank!” Apple Bloom says.

“Yeah! This is the best Nightmare Night in, like, forever!” Scootaloo says.

“So, would you mind telling us how this all started?” Twilight asks.

“Sure, Twilight, I’ll tell you everything as we party the night away!”

“Blake, are you forgetting something?” Luna asks.

“What? I don’t think so…”

“You’re forgetting the song!”

“Oh, right! Thanks for the reminder!”

I head to the stage and motion Vinyl over. She smirks upon seeing me and walks over. “Nice work with the prank!” We fist bump.

“Thanks! Hey, would you mind if I take the stage for a bit?”

“Sure! You got something in mind?”

I nod my head. “Yeah. Hey, is it true the magical energies of Equestria can provide music and make people know lyrics to songs they’ve never heard before?”

“Yeah. Since everything is affected by magic, the energies just draw the lyrics and music from your mind and disperse it to others.” Vinyl says as we walk to her turntable.

“Thank you for the simple explanation! I’m sure Twilight was going to give me the six hour explanation if I asked her about it.”

Vinyl laughs. “No problem!” She walks behind her table and tosses me a mike. She then turns the music down, causing most of the audience to turn to me.

“Alright, can everybody hear me?”

“YEAH!”

“Good! Luna, give me my costume back and the other thing we talked about!” I feel the chill return to my body, “Alright, I have a song here to celebrate this wondrous night! So who’s ready to party?!” The crowds cheers as Nightmare Night(Great song, really love this one) starts up. Right before the first verse, I slam my fist into the ground, creating a fountain of friendly ghosts that fly around the stage and in through the crowd as I sing.

After the song ends, I take a bow as the crowd cheers. We party the rest of the night away. This is, by far, the best Halloween… err, Nightmare Night ever!

Author's Note

So, meant to have this out by Halloween, but stuff an thangs happened so yeah...

Link to the reference game here!

Surprise!

“Permanent Vacation”

Surprise!

After the events of last night, most of us were dragging ourselves home. Man, I feel sorry for Applejack and Fluttershy, having to walk all that distance just to get home. Anyway, after I got up, I figured that today is a day to unwind and get to work on putting that bed I bought together. It does look pretty nice outside though…

“Since when have we ever been the outdoor type?”

“Since we came to this world and can actually talk to friends in real life?”

“Alright, fair point.”

Grabbing my iPod and a pair of headphones, I throw on my white and blue striped jacket as I step outside. Around me, ponies are cleaning up their decorations from last night. Sucks to be them, I cleaned up my decorations last night. I put the headphones over my ears and plug them into the iPod as I walk towards the local park directly across from Town Hall. Unable to decide on a song, I pick one at random and set the rest to shuffle. Along the way, I wave to some ponies that know me.

The park itself is actually pretty nice. Dirt paths lined with flowers snake through the trees as birds fly around. Directly in the center of the park is a large fountain depicting three ponies, one of each race, facing away from a pedestal with the sun on it. Around the fountain, there are multiple benches. Off to the right is a playground currently teeming with children as their parents sit off to the side and chat with each other. Finding an empty bench, I sit down and just enjoy the world around me.

“Alright, I’ll agree that this is pretty relaxing.”

“It’s not like you had much of a choice in coming or not. I mean, you are a voice in my head. Where I go, you go.”

“True, true. But I could annoy the shit out of you the entire time.”

I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I look to my right to see Twilight sitting on the bench beside me, motioning with her hands to take my headphones off. Doing that, I say, “Nice day to be out in the park.”

Twilight nods her head. “Indeed it is.”

“So,” I turn my head to look back at the fountain, “what can I do for you?”

“Don’t you mean, what can I do to you?”

“Are you ever going to stop with that?”

“Nope!”

“Well, the girls and I are going to meet up today at Sugercube Corner. Would you care to join us?”

“What time? I got a project I wanted to get started on back at the house.”

“In about an hour. We should only hang out for an hour or so.”

I glance down at my iPod. It’s elven forty-five. I look back over at Twilight “Alright, I’ll be there.”

“Good! See you within the hour!” Twilight stands up and walks away. Something about the enthusiasm in her voice over me just coming to a get together… There’s something she isn’t telling me. Either way, I should enjoy my alone time now. Then I can find out what she’s hiding.

The hour passed by in peace. I might as well get to this meeting. Rounding a bend in the road, I see Sugercube Corner. As I walk towards it, something about it seems… Off. Normally, the lights would be on and the window blinds open but now, the exact opposite. Ah well, just pass this off to some weird thing Pinkie is doing.

“Oh shit! Our number came up! You’re on your own!”

Reaching out for the door handle, I swear that I see one of the blinds move ever so slightly. Opening the door, I step into complete darkness. Suddenly, the lights kick on and I’m blinded. As I blink my eyes to get some vision back, I feel my headphones slide down to my neck. I hear a jumble of people yelling surprise. Just as I get my vision back, it is replaced with an overwhelming amount of pink.

“So, are you surprised?! Are you?! Huh, are you?! Areyouareyouareyouareyou?! You have to tell me if you are!” Pinkie yells in my face, so close to it that all I see are her blue eyes.

I push Pinkie away from me and smile while I stop my iPod. “Yes, Pinkie, I’m actually surprised. But may I ask what this is for?”

“Well, duh! You got to throw your party, but I never threw my “Welcome to Ponyville!” party for you!”

I glance past Pinkie to see the rest of the girls, Spike, the Crusaders, and some residents of the town smiling and waving at me. The entire building is decked out for a party with streamers, confetti, tons of food and drinks, and balloons, including a banner that reads Welcome to Ponyville, Blake! “Thanks guys!”

“So, you ready for the mostsuperawesometastical party of your life?!”

“Are you kidding? I was born ready! Fire up the jukebox!”

The party kicks off and my first destination is the food. Thank you, Pinkie, for making tons of cannoli’s.

“Are you ever going to get tired of food?”

“Are you ever gonna stop making sexual innuendoes?”

“Not in my end, but in your end, oh!”

“Seriously?” I look at Pinkie to see her shaking her head in disgust, “Even Pinkie thinks that was terrible!”

“Well, I can only work with what you give me so cut me some slack!”

Eager to get away from this conversation with myself, I wander around the party, talking to ponies, eating food, and generally enjoying myself as the jukebox blasts Neigh-Z (I should really figure out what bands they have in this world), Pony-Crue, and original songs by the one and only Vinyl Scratch. Of course, that fun has to end when the jukebox suddenly shuts off.

“Hey, who turned off the music?!” I hear Rainbow yell.

I see Twilight walk over and push a few buttons on the jukebox. “Nothing is happening when I try to change songs. I think it might be broken.”

“Broken? These things never break! What they really need is a good,” Rainbow flies over and kicks the jukebox, “Kick!”

I push through the crowd and put a hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “Whoa there, Fonz. Let the IT guy handle it.”

“And what are you gonna do?” Rainbow asks, crossing her arms across her chest.

I smirk. “First thing they always teach you when becoming an IT guy.”

“And what exactly is that?” Rarity asks.

I wrap my arm around Twilight. “Actually, I’m gonna see if Twilight can figure this out. So, Twi, put that massive brain of yours to work and tell me, how would you fix this?”

Twilight puts a hand to her chin and looks up towards the ceiling. “Well, I’d first take off the panel covering the wiring, and then I’d—”

I shake my head. “Twilight, I’m very disappointed in you,” I walk away from Twilight and head to the back of jukebox, “For not checking the obvious thing like, oh, I don’t know, seeing if it’s plugged in?” Bending down, I grab the power cord lying on the ground and hold it up. Twilight sheepishly rubs the back of her head while a couple ponies chuckle at her.

I plug the cord back into the outlet on the wall (Note to self, check what items in this world use gems and which use hydroelectric power) and the jukebox powers back on to the cheers of everybody. “Really?” Rainbow raises an eyebrow at me, “That’s all it took?”

I cross my arms across my chest. “Hey, you’d be surprised how many times the uneducated masses complain about something not working to people like me, only to tell them to check if it’s plugged in,” I throw my hands out, “Lo and behold, that’s their issue.”

Applejack chuckles. “Heh, looks like somepony is trying ta give Twilight a run for her money in smarts.”

I smirk. “And give her a challenge I shall.” Twilight blushes while the rest of us laugh. The party resumes without a hitch and we spend the next hour and a half partying.

After saying goodbye to everybody after the party ended, I head straight for home. Now to get to work on building that bed. Throwing my jacket on the floor, I drag the box into the spare bedroom and clear out enough space for me to work. Opening the box up and spreading the contents on the floor, I find the instructions. Let’s see here… First order of business is to put together the headboard. Step One: insert tab A on pillar A into slot B on pillar B.

“That’s what she said!”

I groan. “Do you really have to do this?”

“That’s what she said!”

“I’m probably gonna regret this, aren’t I?”

“Most likely. Also, that’s what she said!”

“I…” I tap my chin.

“Think about it…”

I smirk. “So, how was your day?”

“…Fuck you.”

“Thank you for the compliment.”

Two hours later…

I have to say, this bed fits the room. The Wonderbolt design matches the sky blue walls and light hunter green carpeting perfectly. Satisfied that my work here is done, I toss the trash over by the front door and make myself a dinner of grilled cheese and split pea soup. Having nothing better to do, I decide to see if I get any TV stations here. Sitting down on the couch and grabbing the remote, I flick on the TV. Static, at first, gives way to the weather channel. Good to see that I at least get the Equestrian channels.

“And here we can see that, due to the low pressure—”

Yawn. Flick to the next channel.

“How much is it for this beautiful, hand crafted work of art? Well—”

If I had any money, I sure as hell wouldn’t spend it on that piece of garbage. Next.

“Come on down to Crazy Dave’s Wacky Wave Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Stallions—”

This seems familiar… Forget it. Next.

“Coming up next on Neighsey Shore—”

Ah, hell no! I freaking hate this show! Seriously, I’d rather watch PBS or that shopping channel!

“Forget this. The channels here suck. We have to find out what good shows are out there first.”

“True, but what do you propose we watch instead? I do have tons of DVD’s.”

“I don’t know about you, but, I wanna live close to the sun.”

I stand up and head over to my DVD’s, pulling out the only season of the show to be released in the U.S. “Well pack your bags cause I’ve already won.” Throwing the first disc in, I sit back down on the couch and watch one of my favorite shows to ever be on TV.

Two hours later…

I just finish the halfway point of the season when I hear a knocking on the door. “Coming!” I yell out as I stand up and head for the door. Opening it, I see Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Vinyl Scratch on the other side. “Well, what brings you three around here?”

“Ya wanna come drinking with us?” Applejack says.

“What?” I say, somewhat surprised with how forward she is.

“We’re heading across town to the only bar in Ponyville. You coming or not?” Rainbow says.

“Dude, play your cards right and we could—”

“Don’t finish that thought.”

I glance down at myself. “Sure, why not? Just give me a second to turn everything off.” Rushing back inside, I turn everything off and throw my dirty dishes in the sink. Throwing my shoes on, I step outside as we head for the bar.

“Oh man, this is gonna be so awesome!”

Our walk through town leads us to the more clustered part of it. “So, who originally found this place?” I ask.

“I did. When you’ve been a DJ for as long as I have, you tend to learn where all the good bars are,” Vinyl replies with a wave of her hand.

“And this has been our hangout ever since,” Applejack says.

“We’re here,” Rainbow stops in front of a regular old building.

“Uh, it doesn’t look like a bar. Should I question how much you’ve already had?”

“Hey!” Rainbow turns around and jabs a finger into my chest, “I’m sober!”

“At least, for now,” Vinyl says with a smirk on her face, causing Applejack to snicker.

Rainbow glares at Vinyl while Applejack turns to me. “Berry Punch lives here, so she built the bar downstairs,” Applejack walks over and steps between Rainbow and Vinyl, “Now come on you two. We got some drinking ta do.”

With some grumbling on Rainbow’s part, we head into an alleyway on the right side of the building. A dark purple and red glowing neon sign hanging above a little stairwell leading down into the building tells me that the place is called The Drunken Pony. Rainbow heads down the stairwell and opens the door, stepping inside with Applejack, Vinyl, and I right behind her.

I glance at the room around me. Booths and tables, some currently occupied, sit in dim lighting cast by electric (Or hydroelectric, in this case) lamps. Off to the left is a massive bar with a giant mirror behind it. Hanging around the mirror are shelves with nothing but bottles of booze, some opened and others not. Directly across from the door on the far wall is a stage with what looks like a karaoke machine. Heh, might get some fun out of that later tonight. To the left of the stage is a pool table. They better not challenge me to a game of pool, because they’ll definitely lose to me. The walls look pretty barren, with only a few posters promoting alcoholic beverages here and there.

Being half pulled by Vinyl towards the bar, each of us slides out a stool and takes a seat, Vinyl and Rainbow on my left with Applejack on my right. A cerise maned, pale mulberry mare wearing a black t-shirt, blue jeans, and a black apron tied at the waist walks in front of us, leaning on her side of the bar. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite customers. I see you brought a friend for tonight’s festivities,” She says with a slight smirk on her face.

Applejack slaps me on the back. “Yup, this here is our newest drinking partner, Blake. Blake, this is Berry Punch.”

I hold my hand out. “Charmed.”

Berry returns the handshake. “Likewise. So, what can I get for the four of you?”

“Start us off with the usual,” Rainbow says, sliding some money towards Berry.

“You got it.” Berry ducks down under the bar and comes back up with four mugs. Walking over to one of the taps on the bar, she fills up each of the mugs with a golden, frothy liquid. She then walks over and sets a mug down for each of us. “Enjoy.” She walks to the other end of the bar and proceeds to help another patron.

I raise my mug up. “To friends drinking. May we live long and prosper!” We all clink our mugs together.

Bringing the mug to my lips, I can faintly smell apples wafting from the drink as I swallow. When they said drinking, I thought they meant something stronger than hard apple cider. Downing my first mug, I glance over to Applejack and see her wiping her lips with her arm, the now empty mug in front of her. The sound of mugs hitting the bar tells me that Vinyl and Rainbow just finished theirs. Applejack waves over Berry.

“Done so soon? You three must really want to put on a good show for Blake.”

“Nah, we just wanna get to the good stuff faster,” Rainbow says with a wave of her hand.

“Then I take you all want another round?” Berry says as she collects our mugs.

Rainbow starts to reach into her pockets but Applejack beats her. “Ah got this one, Rainbow.” Applejack reaches into her pockets and slides the money towards Berry.

Again, Berry fills up the mugs and returns them to us and again, we down those in record time. Before somebody can beat me to it, I call Berry over. “Yo, Berry!”

“Yeah?” She walks over in front on me, “Another refill already? Looks like somepony is getting lucky tonight,” She smirks as I glance over toward my friends to see them blushing slightly. Well, save for Vinyl, who is smirking and nodding her head. Berry goes to grab the mugs but I stop her.

“This is some good stuff, but I was expecting something stronger than this. Especially from you three.”

“This is only the opening act. The real show will start soon enough,” Vinyl says.

“Well, the opening act is over. I’m buying the next round so I can show you three what a real drink is,” I turn towards Berry, “You ever hear of an Alabama Slammer?”

Berry shakes her head. “No, I’ve never heard of such a drink before.”

“That’s saying something, considering this mare knows almost every form of alcohol and mixed drink out there,” Vinyl says, earning nods from Applejack and Rainbow.

“You do realize that they might not even have the kind of drinks we’re looking for, right?”

“Are you kidding?! Just look at the amount of alcohol in here! Look, right over there is a bottle of Southern Comfort! Speaking of which, how do they have Southern Comfort on this planet?”

“Who cares?! We found booze!”

“Alright, I’m gonna need Southern Comfort, amaretto, vodka, gin, and orange juice.” Berry grabs each drink as I list them off, placing the items before me.

“Alright, what’s next?” Berry seems eager to discover this new drink judging by the way she is unable to stand still.

“In a pitcher,” Berry reaches under the bar and pulls one out, “mix equal amounts of each drink, shake well, serve over ice, enjoy, in that order.”

Berry gets right to work pouring the bottles, but not without a little show of her spinning the bottles, tossing them in the air and catching them, etc… After pouring each drink, she places a lid on the pitcher and vigorously shakes it. Deeming it satisfactory, she pours some into a shot glass and hands it to me. “Taste it. Let me know if it tastes like it should.”

Grabbing the shot, I raise it in the air and say, “Bottoms up!” Tilting my head back, I swallow the shot. Oh boy, does that hit the spot! I shudder as I bring the shot glass back down on the counter.

“Well?” Applejack asks.

“Perfect! It’s exactly like I remember it, tasting like fruit punch!”

“Now this I gotta try!” Berry obliges Rainbow’s request, pulling out four more shot glasses. She pours one for each of them, including herself, and slides them their shot. Once everybody has theirs, they all hold their shot up, tilt their heads back, and down the shot.

Vinyl slams her glass on the bar, shaking her head. “Wow! It’s exactly like drinking fruit punch!”

Rainbow is the next one to finish. “I could drink this all day!”

Applejack slams her glass down. “Well I’ll be. Never thought a drink could have that much alcohol and not taste like it!”

I turn to Berry, who is just finishing her shot. “So, what do I owe ya?”

Berry smiles. “After this?! For you, drinks are free from now on! On one condition though, you let me sell this and don’t tell anypony else about how to make an Alabama Slammer.” Berry holds out her hand.

I smile. “You got yourself a deal!”

“Great!” Berry hands me the pitcher, “I’ll just leave this here with you guys. If you need more, you know where to find me! Thanks again!”

Rainbow slaps me on the back. “I knew it was a good idea to bring you along!”

“Thanks for inviting me! Now come on,” I pour another shot for each of us, “Let’s drink to us getting free drinks for the night and to me!” A small cheer is quickly silenced by the sounds of us four downing our second shot.

“So,” Rainbow glances at each of us, a slight smirk on her face, “Who’s up for round three?”

“Oh, I can see where this night is going!”

Author's Note

Link to reference game here!

Ponyville's Got Talent!

“Permanent Vacation”

Ponyville’s Got Talent!

Every day after our initial practice, we all meet at Lyra and Bon Bon’s place to practice in their basement. Fitting, since it’s where Lyra stores all her instruments, along with some device that can filter a song to play only certain instruments or parts (Might have to check into how this thing actually works). Along with our practice sessions, Lyra started with me the guitar lessons I was promised, letting me borrow a red and white bulls eye painted style guitar until I get one of my own. Since we needed a name for this band, and after making sure they didn’t already have a similar named band, we decided on the All-Equestrian Rejects. Hey, not all ideas need to be original. But then again, it technically would be original since they don’t have any band named something like this here.

The night before the Gala arrives and a stage has been set up in front of town hall. We aren’t really paying much attention to the other acts backstage with us, since we’re making final preparations for tonight. I’m currently telling Vinyl, who is in charge of lighting and musical accompaniment for the acts, how the lighting should be for us. While Big Mac and Lyra tune their instruments for tonight, Spike and I head over to the thick red curtain and peek out. A massive crowd has formed around the stage to watch tonight’s acts. I manage to spot the girls near the front of the crowd, already in their seats for tonight. They actually saved a seat for me and Spike. How thoughtful of them.

“Wow. I didn’t think we’d be playing for a crowd this big,” Spike says to me.

I chuckle slightly. “What did you expect? That we’d only be playing for children’s parties? No, this is just the beginning of a long journey.”

Spike and I walk backstage to Lyra and Mac. “I just hope we do well tonight.”

I pat Spike on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure we’ll do fine. As long as we have fun doing it, who cares?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Spike walks over to Mac and Lyra. “So, you all ready to rock this joint?”

“Eeyup.”

Lyra pounds a fist to her chest. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Hey, he didn’t ask us!”

“He can’t even ask you, so why do you care?”

“… Good point. I don’t care!”

“Well, get comfortable everybody, since we’re not due to perform till later in the show,” I say, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest.

As time ticks by and the acts before us go out, Mac idly strums his bass while chewing a piece of hay, Lyra practices her part in our first song, Spike taps his claws on the wall in a rhythm, and I mentally sing the songs we intend to do. As soon as the act before us, some comedy act or something, goes onstage, a mare with a clipboard comes over to tell us that we’re next and to get ready. As the comedy act leaves the stage to the cheers of the crowd, I grab the guitar I borrowed from Lyra as we head behind the curtain and take our places. To my right is Mac, sitting on a chair with a mic stand in front of him, and to my left is Lyra, sitting in her own chair. Spike is directly behind me, sitting at his drum set with a mic as well. I take my seat and adjust myself till I’m comfortable, making sure the mic stand is at an appropriate level for me.

“Again, a big round of applause for our previous act—”

“So,” I ask the band as the mayor continues talking to the crowd on the other side of the curtain, “Are you all ready to live the life of musical stars?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to. Let’s do this thing!” Lyra shouts.

“Eeyup.”

“Can’t believe that he only says a few words, yet he’s gonna sing in a band.”

“Let’s show this town how we rock!” Spike yells, pumping his fist in the air.

“Please welcome our next act of the night, a musical group calling themselves the All -Equestrian Rejects!” As the mayor finishes introducing us, the curtain rises up to the clapping and cheering of the crowd. I glance to my right to make sure the lights on Mac are off, which they are. It’s in the plan that we hide Mac till his verse in the song. After all, it will be a massive surprise to see a stallion of few words singing a song.

I tap the mic a few times. “Testing, one two, testing. Can everybody hear me alright?”

“YEAH!” Good to know Bulk Biceps can be counted on to respond to questions.

“Good. Now, we’re gonna play a song for ya that’s about taking risks and speaking from the heart.” At this, Lyra starts playing the violin with the rest of us joining her with our own instruments shortly after to play one of my personal favorite songs.

“Wise man next to me did say ‘bout the one that got away.”

I point to my right as the lights illuminate Big Mac as he sings his verse. Near the end of it, the rest of us join in and continue this way till the end of the song. We stand to the cheering of the crowd and bow.

“Perfection, thy name is Blake.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

Two stagehands run out to grab our chairs since we won’t need them anymore (Well, except for Spike’s), hand us all a water bottle, and swap out Lyra’s violin for a banjo. As Lyra and Mac check to make sure their instruments are tuned properly, I take a needed drink of the refreshing water. Finished with it, I toss the bottle to the stagehand before the two run offstage. I turn around and look at Mac, Lyra, and Spike, who all nod back to me to signal that they’re ready.

Turning around to address the crowd, I grab the mic from the stand and walk to the edge of the stage. “Alright, so I was told that we could do two songs if we wanted, which we are, but we need a volunteer from the crowd to join us.”

Several hands shoot up, along with cries of, “Pick me!” or, “Over here!” Even Pinkie is holding a flashing sign with her name on it. Where she pulled it from, I’ll never know.

I turn to look at Mac, a slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. With the smallest nod of his head, I turn back to the crowd. “Alright, let’s see here…” I point to Applejack, “You!”

Applejack looks around, a surprised look on her face as the crowd cheers for her. She looks at me, pointing a finger to herself.

I nod my head. “Yes, Applejack, you! Get on up here!” I can see the crowd urging her to get onstage. With a shrug of her shoulders, she walks to the front of the stage where I help pull her up. She waves to the crowd once she’s onstage.

“Alright, settle down now. We still got a show to do.” The crowd quiets down. “Now then, everybody here know who this is?” A chorus of yes’s ring out, “Good, then I don’t need to introduce her to ya.”

Applejack leans forward slightly so she can speak into the mic. “Blake, what’s this gotta do with me?”

I pat her on the shoulder. “Oh, it’s simple really. I called you up here for one simple reason.” Mac, Lyra, and Spike start playing the second song, the tune making Applejack and I tap our feet (Hooves in her case) in rhythm.

“Come on now. You know you got everybody watching.”

Applejack is slightly swinging her hips back and forth and shifting from hoof to hoof, nodding her head with the rhythm. As I end the first verse and jump into the chorus, Applejack gets into the groove of things. And damn, can she dance!

As we finish the song, the crowd cheers for us as we all take a bow. I’m pretty sure someone in Canterlot heard the cheers coming from Ponyville. “Everybody give a big round of applause for Applejack and her amazing dancing!”

Applejack waves as she heads to the edge of the stage but stops at the cusp of it. She turns to me, places two fingers to her eyes, and points to me. She repeats this action with Big Mac.

“Alright, that’s our act for tonight! Hope you all enjoyed the tunes!” We wave to the crowd, the curtain falling once we walk offstage.

Vinyl rushes up to us. “That was amazing! I didn’t know you guys could play so well!”

I rub a hand on my chest and smirk. “Well, we are pretty awesome.”

“Heck yeah! Did you see the crowd? We’re the best band to ever hit Ponyville!” Spike shouts, enthusiasm clearly present in his voice.

“Eeyup. I reckon we may just have become stars.”

“Oh, this is so exciting! Bon-Bon will finally get her dream of dating a rockstar!”

Vinyl wraps an arm around my back and pulls me against her. “Instead of you four being just Ponyville famous, how about Equestrian famous? I can see it now.” Vinyl makes a sweeping motion with her hands in the air. “Fans, fans everywhere. And they’re all screaming out, All-Equestrian Rejects.”

“What did you have in mind?” Spike and I ask at the same time.

“You four become the newest band for my music company, Scratched Records. I already have a recording studio, so it falls to you four if you want to do this.”

“I’m up for it,” Lyra says.

“Hold on now, we need ta think this through.”

I nod my head. “Gotta agree with Big Mac on this one. What exactly would we get paid and how strict are you on deadlines?”

Vinyl shrugs her shoulders. “I’m not strict on deadlines. You guys can work at your own pace. As for pay, you’ll get a share of any profits we make from sales.”

I nod my head. “Well, sounds good to me but this is a group decision…” I turn to look at Spike, Mac, and Lyra.

“Sounds good.”

Lyra pumps her fist in the air. “Living the dream! Let’s do it!”

Spike nods his head. “I’m all for it.”

“Alright, so—”

“Not quite finished yet, Vinyl.” Vinyl tilts her head. “I have one more favor to ask of you.”

Vinyl shrugs her shoulders. “Shoot.”

“Mind giving me a job at your record store?”

Vinyl looks at me, one eyebrow raised. “That’s it?”

“Yeah, is that really it?” Spike asks.

“I thought you were going to ask her out,” Lyra says.

I shake my hands and head. “No way am I doing that! I have no intentions of getting into a relationship right now. Uh, no offense, Vinyl.”

Vinyl smirks. “None taken. Although, I wouldn’t mind if you did ask me out, but I doubt you could handle a mare like me.”

I rub the back of my head and look away. “And on that note, can I have a job at your record store?”

Vinyl nods her head. “Sure, swing by my place in a couple days and I’ll get you set up.”

“Awesome!” I hold my hand out towards Vinyl. “You ready for the next greatest band to be working with you?”

Vinyl returns the handshake. “Are you ready to become famous superstars?”

I laugh. “I was born ready.”

Author's Note

Well, I'm calling it quits on the reference game for this. Hey, at least I tried, right?

The Best Night Ever or Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

“Permanent Vacation”

The Best Night Ever or Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

So, tonight is the Grand Galloping Gala. Twilight came by early this morning to notify me that we are all meeting at Carousal Boutique at six for final preparations. And by preparations, I assume she means makeup and actually putting on those dresses Rarity made for them.

Speaking of which, Twilight told me that Rarity made them the day of the Running of the Leaves and had the girls judge them that night. Hell, I’m surprised that nothing was wrong with them, if the episode is anything to go by. Then again, things have been different from the show.

Ah, nevermind that now. I got plenty of time to kill right now. Might as well spend my free time playing Saints Row 3 and coming up with crazy new scenarios to test on the citizens of Steelport.

At five-thirty, after a nice dinner of shepherd’s pie, I head over to Carousal Boutique to get ready for the Gala as the sun begins setting over the horizon. As I near the building, I can’t help but notice the giant apple carriage with two white horses attached to it. Something is really off putting about those horses but I can’t seem to place my finger on it.

“You do realize that those ‘horses’ are mice, right? You have seen the episode where Twilight turns them into horses?”

I snap my fingers. “That’s right! I can’t believe I forgot about that.”

“I’ll give you two guesses as to who wanted the apple carriage.”

“Do you really have to ask that question?” I push open the door to the Boutique.

“Ah, come on girls, just let me in for five seconds to get my suit.” I watch as Spike sits beside a door at the back wall, begging to be let in the room beyond. Upon seeing me, he mouths that they’ve been in there for over two hours.

“I’m sorry, Spike, but Rarity is right. You’ll just have to wait until we’re finished before you can get dressed,” I hear Twilight’s voice say from the other side of the door.

I walk over and stand by the door on the side that Spike isn’t at. This close to the door, I can hear the faint hum of hair dryers on the other side. “Yeah, girls. You may want to let the drake in. I mean, no better time than the present to learn about the birds and the bees.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Spike snicker.

“And I’m pretty sure one of them can give him an in-depth demonstration.”

“Blake, is that you?” I hear Rarity ask.

I roll my eyes. “No, it’s the freaking pool boy without a shirt and a pizza. Of course it’s me! Now, how about you open the door and let us in?”

“Blake! Have you no decency for a lady and her privacy?!”

“Well, how do you expect us to get dressed before the Gala?”

“Hold your horses there partner. We’ll be done faster than a jackrabbit hopped up on caffeine,” Applejack says.

“Or, and this is just a thought here, you could just give us our outfits and we’ll get changed in a different room?” I hear the hair dryers turn off.

“That… Is actually a really good idea. Why didn’t I think of it?” Twilight says.

The door cracks open slightly and a white arm reaches out from behind the door, holding two pairs of suits. After I grab the suits, the hand quickly retracts and the door slams shut. I shake my head and laugh as Spike and I head upstairs, him giving me a high five along the way. “I don’t know why I have to solve every problem that crops up around here.”

Five minutes later, Spike and I head back downstairs, both of us dressed in our stylish black tuxedos. But I have the addition of a fedora, which makes me even better looking. “Finally, I get to have some guy time!”

I laugh. “Yeah, it’ll be good to hang out with you.”

“Remind me to take you to Donut Joe’s…” Spike stops right at the bottom of the steps and stares ahead, almost causing me to fall over him.

“Jesus man! Don’t stop on the steps like that!” I look up to see what Spike is staring at and can’t believe my eyes.

Standing across the room, in each of their elegant Gala dresses (Looking exactly like they do from the show but designed for their anthro body), is the girls. I can’t even begin to describe the beauty that radiates off these girls. Granted, they are beautiful without the dresses but still, the dresses just accentuate their natural beauty. I know it’s not polite to stare, but damn. I can’t seem to draw my eyes away from them.

“Um, how do we look? If you want to answer, that is.” Fluttershy keeps glancing between the ground and me.

“Beautiful…” Spike mumbles, staring directly at Rarity.

I shake my head. Gotta focus here, can’t look like an idiot. “Tonight, even the stars pale in comparison to the beauty that radiates off you six.” I notice that all six girls blush slightly.

“Being a little too poetic there, ain’t ya?”

“Hey, don’t judge me for speaking the truth.”

“Thank you,” Fluttershy says, her voice just within the range of my hearing.

I head towards the front door, stepping off to the side and holding it open. “Ladies first.” I bow and motion out the door. Spike catches on to what I’m doing and rushes out the door, holding open the door on the side of the carriage.

The girls file out the door and into the carriage, each one thanking Spike and I. Once Rainbow climbs in, I motion for Spike to climb in as well. He shakes his head. “I can’t,” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder, “Somepony needs to drive the carriage.”

I walk over and pat him on the head. “You let me take care of that. Now get in there. I’ll be joining you shortly.”

Spike’s eyes light up with glee as he goes to climb up into the carriage, but he stops. “Are you sure you can handle this?”

I motion for him to keep climbing. “Trust me, of course I can. Now go hang out with your lady friend.” Without another word, Spike leaps up into the carriage.

I turn around and scan the streets. Okay, so how exactly am I going to make this work? I spot a grey stallion with a messy dark blue mane, wearing a zipped up brown jacket and blue jeans walking down the road. Something about him seems strikingly familiar. “Excuse me! Sir!” I wave to the stallion. Time to put on the charm.

He looks around and spots me, walking over. “Ah, hello there. Wonderful night for a walk, isn’t it? Name’s Night Watch.”

He holds his hand out, which I shake. “Blake Quinter. And yes, it is a wonderful night out. But, I was wondering if you could do me a favor for tonight?” ‘

Night cocks his head. “And what do you need friend?” His eyes glance at the carriage. “You need somepony to drive your carriage tonight?”

“Exactly. If you could assist my companions and me on our little journey tonight, I would be forever grateful. You will, of course, be compensated for your help.” I reach into my pocket and pull out a bag of sixty bits.

Night laughs. “Of course friend. I will gladly assist you tonight. I’ve driven many a carriage and know my way around them. And payment is not needed.”

I thrust the bag into his hands. “But I insist. Please, buy yourself something nice tonight while we’re in Canterlot.”

Night raises an eyebrow. “Canterlot, eh? This wouldn’t have anything to do with the Grand Galloping Gala tonight?”

“Indeed it does friend. Are you still willing to make the trip?”

“Hey!” I turn around to see Rainbow sticking her head out the carriage door. “Let’s go already!” Her head disappears back into the carriage.

He laughs. “I can see your friends are impatient. And don’t worry, I’ll still take you all to Canterlot. Besides, it’ll give me a reason to visit my sister tonight.”

I turn around to see Night climbing up the front of the carriage to sit at the reins. “Wait, you have a sister in Canterlot? Who?”

Night chuckles. “My sister is a very famous cello player with the Canterlot Philharmonic Orchestra. Her name is Octavia Melody.”

That’s why he looks so familiar. “Interesting. I may just have to hear her play sometime. Well, we’d best be off if we intend to make it to the Gala in time.”

Night nods his head. “Indeed. Climb in back and we’ll be off.”

I bow. “Again, thank you kind sir.”

I climb into the carriage and see Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Spike sitting on the bench to my right. To my left are Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Pinkie. As I sit down between Pinkie and Rainbow, the carriage lurches as we start moving.

“Finally!” Rainbow throws her hands in the air. “Took you long enough. What were you doing anyway?”

“I was securing a driver for tonight.”

Twilight looks at me, an eyebrow raised. “I thought Spike was supposed to be the driver tonight?”

I shake my head. “For shame, Twilight, for shame. Having one of your friends drive us to Canterlot instead of being back here to hang with all of us? For shame.”

“Okay, so I didn’t think that one through.” Twilight blushes as we all have a laugh at her expense.

“So, what’s on the agenda for tonight?”

“I, for one, am going to spend some quality time with Princess Celestia. I haven’t been able to since moving to Ponyville.”

“Ah’ll be selling Apple family apples to the hungry masses.”

Fluttershy plays with a strand of her hair. “Um, I’ll be in the Royal Gardens with all the cute little animals. Unless somepony wants me somewhere else.”

“I’ll be hanging out with the Wonderbolts, telling them stories of my awesome moves!”

“Partying!” I roll my eyes. Should’ve seen that one coming.

“And I’ll be looking for the dashing Prince Charming to whisk me off my feet for a night of romance.”

Twilight turns to me. “What about you two, Spike and Blake? What are you going to do tonight?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Not sure. I’ll probably spend some time at the castle, then Spike and I are going to hit the town. Also, I need to talk to Celestia about something.”

“You’re not going to stay for the entire Gala? It’s okay if you’re not…” Fluttershy asks.

“Are you kidding? Spike and I will probably be bored in five minutes. Tell you what though, Spike told me about a place called Donut Joe’s.”

Twilight claps her hands. “Oh, I love Donut Joe’s! I used to go there all the time when I lived in Canterlot.”

I nod my head. “He told me that too. As such, we should all meet up there after the Gala, agreed?” I get nodding of heads and general statements of agreement from the girls and Spike.

Rainbow crosses her arms and leans back in her seat. “Ugh, this is a boring trip.”

“Patience, Rainbow Dash. We only just left Ponyville. According to my calculations, barring any unforeseen circumstances, we should arrive in Canterlot in thirty minutes.” Leave it to Twilight to get the exact time for a trip.

Rainbow groans in protest. I pat her on the shoulder. “Hey, cheer up. I know a way to pass some of the time and get us pumped up for the night.”

Rainbow turns her head to look at me. “How?”

I reach into my suit pocket and pull out my iPod. “Through the power of music, my prismatic friend.” I slide through my songs until I find I Gotta Feeling. We bob our heads along with the music as we ride along to Canterlot. We spend the rest of the time during our trip, after the song ends of course, making small talk and enjoying the company of each other.

As we near the castle, I look out one of the windows to admire Canterlot. Just from the architecture alone, the city screams high society. It’s almost as if someone took the city of Paris and slightly re-sculpted it to fit their vision.

“It’s cities like these that have the best nightlife.”

I grin. “Of course I can’t forget about the nightlife. Just gotta make an appearance at the castle, ask Celestia a few things, then Spike and I will hit the town.”

“Now that is a plan I can get behind!”

The carriage lurches to a stop outside the castle. The door swiftly opens, Night holding it so we can get out. I’m the first to get out, stepping off to the side as the girls climb out and stare in awe at the castle. “Again, thank you, Night, for driving us up here,” I say as the girls wander towards the front entrance of the castle, Spike rushing to keep up with them.

Night waves his hand as he shuts the carriage door. “No, thank you, Blake, for allowing me this wonderful trip to gaze at the stars and visit my sister. What time should I arrive to pick you all up?”

I think about this. I estimate that the night will be ruined in about two to two and a half hours. “Meet us at a place called Donut Joe’s in two and a half hours.”

Night nods his head. “Will do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a gift to buy for my sister. Maybe I’ll buy her one of those bowties she is so found of.” I chuckle as he climbs back up to the reins of the carriage and sets off down the street.

With our ride home taken care of, I head into the castle to talk to Celestia. As I cross the threshold of the entrance, I see Spike just standing there. “The girls scatter on you?”

He sighs. “Yeah,” He looks up at me, “But at least we’re gonna hang out.”

I pat him on the head. “Of course, Spike, of course. But first I need to talk to Celestia. Why don’t you go enjoy some of the food while I do that?”

“Heh, you don’t have to tell me twice.” Spike heads over to a buffet table filled with typical foods found at these kind of events, like Deviled Eggs.

Guessing that the throne room is directly ahead, if my knowledge of castle layouts is correct, I head in that direction. As I walk, I study the palace itself. While the city screams high class, when compared to the castle, it’s more like a quiet whisper. Statues of each of the races sit at the corner of the room, a large glass chandelier hangs from the ceiling, and the banners detailing the sun and moon hanging from the walls really gives the feel of this being a high society party.

I also notice the guards, decked out in their royal gold armor with white chainmail underneath. However, for a party this size, it seems that there are too few guards to properly maintain the peace. I stop and stare at a corner of the room. Somehow, I feel like something, or someone, is watching me.

“Dude, if Celestia has the day guard, most of them would be off duty right now.”

“And Luna has the night guard, which would be on duty right now!” It makes sense now. Luna’s guard would likely be trained in the art of stealth and espionage due to then working in the night. They must be hiding around the palace to give potential criminals the idea that there aren’t a lot of guards here.

I shake my head and resume walking forward. As I climb a staircase, I see my destination, the throne room. At the far end sits Princess Celestia in her golden yellow throne, with Twilight already standing by her side. Luck fortunes me tonight since a line hasn’t formed yet to see the Princess. As I walk towards them, I glance at the stained glass windows along the way. Each one details an important event in Equestrian history. Let’s see here… The most recent is the defeat of Nightmare Moon and the return of Luna thanks to the Elements of Harmony.

Reaching the steps before the throne, I kneel down. “Princess Celestia, thank you for inviting me for tonight.”

Celestia waves her hand as I stand up. “It was my pleasure, Blake. Tell me, are you enjoying tonight’s events?”

“Why yes, Princess, I am. And I can see Twilight is enjoying every moment of it,” Twilight blushes as we both look at her. “But I’m curious where you sister is? I enjoy her company and wish for her to join us tonight.”

Celestia smiles. “She is currently in her tower. I could teleport you there, if you like?”

I nod my head. “Yes, Princess, but may I ask one more thing of you before you teleport me?”

“Of course. What ails you, my subject?”

Part of me wants to chastise her for calling me her subject. “If you wouldn’t mind, could we discuss this in private?” Celestia horn lights up and a yellow dome surrounds us. With a nod of her head, I continue. “Would you mind meeting me later at Donut Joe’s here in Canterlot, along with the Captain of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire?”

Celestia raises an eyebrow. “And what is the nature of this meeting?”

I smirk. “I have a need for the talents of the Wonderbolts in the future, and your help with contacting them and setting this up.”

Celestia smiles, a strange warmth seeming to radiate off of the smile alone. “Very well, we shall meet you there. Is that all you needed from me tonight?” I nod my head.

In a bright flash, I’m now standing in a darkened room with only the moonlight filtering in through a window providing illumination. That, and the fact that a pair of pure white eyes are staring at me from within the shadows. I gulp. “Luna, is that you?”

The shadows seem to crawl into the corner as the room lights up thanks to a desk lamp and candles. Luna is sitting on the end of her bed, a giant smile on her face. Jumping up, she walks over and wraps me in a hug. “Blake, it is good to see you again!”

I return the hug with glee. I could die happy right now. “It is good to see you too, Luna. Tell me,” I pull out of the embrace and look at Luna’s face, “Why aren’t you with your sister right now?”

Luna huffs and crosses her arms. “My sister may enjoy sucking up to the nobles, but I have no interest in becoming like her.”

I smirk. “Well then, I guess you’ll accept my offer to join Spike and I tonight in an effort to get away tonight?”

The shadows wrap around Luna, pulling her into their tight embrace. As fast as the shadows appear, they jump back into hiding. Standing before me now is not Princess Luna, but a midnight blue unicorn mare with a short, cropped mane wearing the same clothes as Luna. She is about the same height as me. A smirk adorns her face. “Well, how do I look?” Her voice sounds like Luna, but much higher pitched.

I whistle. “Nice trick. I take it you’ve been practicing this illusion spell for a while now?”

Luna nods her head. “It was one of the first spells I mastered. You just gave me a reason to use it again.”

I offer my arm to Luna. “So, what do I call you now?”

Luna wraps her arm around the crook of my elbow, a smile on her face. “Call me Moonlight. I doubt anypony is still alive to remember that alias.”

“Very well then, Moonlight, we still need to pick up Spike from the foyer before we can have some fun tonight.” She giggles.

“Ah, you gonna get it tonight!”

“You know what I mean.”

Luna’s, ahem, Moonlight’s horn glows and with a bright flash, we’re now standing in front of the entrance of the castle. Walking inside, I head over and grab Spike from his spot by the buffet table. Once we’re back outside, Spike jerks his thumb towards Moonlight. “Who’s the mare?”

I pat him on the head. “That mare has a name, and she is called Moonlight.”

Moonlight holds out her hand. “Charmed to meet you, Spike the Dragon.”

Spike shakes her hand. “Nice to meet you too, Moonlight.”

I shake my head at the sad display before me. I’m gonna have to teach that boy some manners one of these days. I lean down and whisper in Spike’s ear… fin… whatever, “Keep it quiet, but you just touched the Princess of the Night.”

“Princess?!” I slap my hand over Spike’s mouth, glancing around to see if anyone heard him. Thankfully, we’re alone out here. I remove my hand, Spike glancing back and forth between Moonlight and I. “Princess Luna?”

“No, Spike, this isn’t Princess Luna, this is our friend, Moonlight, who will be joining us tonight for our journey around town. Luna is currently in her room in the castle.”

Spike winks at me. “Oh, my mistake. Sorry about that, Moonlight. You just seem so similar to the Princess.”

Moonlight giggles. Man, I’ll never get tired of hearing that. “Oh, it is no trouble at all, Spike. I get that all the time.”

I pat Spike on the back. “Well then, since you’re the expert on Canterlot here, what are the best places to hit tonight?”

Spike taps his chin. “Other than Donut Joe’s, the only other place I know of is the Falling Moon club,” Moonlight’s eyes light up with glee.

I nod my head. “I’m up for the club. How about you, Moonlight?” Moonlight nods her head. “Well then, who’s ready for the best night ever?!” We all cheer as we rush down the street, ready for whatever the night holds for us.

“And then, I dumped the feathers on her and said, ‘Look who’s the cock of the walk now!’” I pound my fist on the table, laughing at Moonlight’s story of her pranking Celestia during their younger years. This turned out to be one of the best nights in a long time. We went to the club, danced, had a few drinks (Spike was exempt from this one. Can’t get the little guy drunk now, can I?), and came to Donut Joe’s for food and coffee (All on the expense of the crown to boot!). Hell, we even managed to pick up Vinyl Scratch, who was in Canterlot to perform, after she finished her set at the Falling Moon. Of course, we let her in on the secret of Moonlight.

“Oh man, that is easily one of the best pranks ever, Moonlight!” I grab a donut and scarf it down.

“And that’s not all! She started making chicken sounds after that!” Moonlight says.

Spike falls out of his seat to roll on the floor. “Celestia making chicken sounds?! Now I wish I could have seen that!”

Vinyl laughs, holding her fist out to Spike. “Me too, little buddy! Hey, try getting Celestia to lighten up a bit more, will ya, Moonlight, so we have more awesome stories like this!”

I idly glance outside. “Hey, what time is it? And on that note, when does the Gala end?”

Vinyl shrugs her shoulders before pulling out her iApple. “It’s about nine. Strange, usually I’m buzzing at this point in the night.”

Moonlight shrugs her shoulders. “I’m not sure. My sister failed to inform me of its ending time.”

“Yo, Joe!” I wave to Donut Joe as he glances up from his spot behind the display case filled with almost every kind of donut imaginable. “Could we get another round of coffee and donuts over here?”

“Coming right up,” He says in his gruff, yet caring, voice. As Joe places a platter of donuts in front of us and refills our mugs, he glances up out the window behind me and pauses. “Is that…” Everyone turns to look out the window, save for me.

“Let me guess. A stampede of animals is running down the street?” They all nod their heads. Hey, those animals Fluttershy scared had to go somewhere. “The girls will be here in about ten minutes.”

Vinyl shakes her head. “Pfft, yeah right. Like a stampede of animals is going to signal the arrival of the Elements of Harmony.”

I smirk and look at Vinyl. “Oh yeah? Wanna bet on that one?” I hear Moonlight snicker.

Vinyl tilts her shades down slightly, allowing me to see her eyes. “You sure you wanna make a bet with me? You do realize what I could do?”

“I’m fully aware of that. Now then, onto the bets. If I win, you have to, right here and now in front of everybody present, kiss me for a full ten seconds.” Childish, yes, but I’m not going too deep with this bet in case I am wrong.

Vinyl smirks. “Oh, so you wanna play that way? Fine, if I win, I get to set you up on a blind date with anypony I decide. And trust me, I know a lot of ponies.” She holds out her hand.

Hmm, tough choice. I don’t need to get into a relationship right now, but getting Vinyl to lose… I shake her hand. “You got yourself a deal.” Either way this turns out, I win.

“You idiot! She didn’t specify if the date is going to be male or female!”

I frown. “Way to kill the mood.”

“If you lose, you’re on your own. Can’t believe I got stuck with you.”

I groan. “Can’t believe I didn’t think that one through.”

Vinyl cocks her head to the side. “Didn’t think of what?”

“You were too vague with the date thing. You could set me up with anyone of either gender.”

Vinyl smirks. “I didn’t think of that, but thanks for bringing it up.”

“You stupid. Fucking. Moron! Keep your mouth shut!”

I smack my forehead off the table as everybody laughs at me. “Great, just what I needed.” Please let the girls come within ten minutes.

As we wait, Vinyl keeps nudging me as time ticks on, getting closer and closer to my end. At around the nine minute mark, Vinyl leans back and props her feet up on the table. “Well, looks like I get to choose a date for ya.”

I waggle my finger at her. “Don’t get too cocky now. It ain’t over yet.” A little bell hanging above the front door jingles, causing all of us to turn at the source of intrusion. I smirk at the sight before me. “Speak of the devil, here they are now.” The girls file in the building, each one of them having scruff marks on their body and their dresses ripped and torn in multiple places (Thankfully, not anywhere revealing.) Moonlight and Spike snicker at the sight of them while my eye catches a little exchange of bits between the two.

Vinyl shakes her head and laughs. “Well, a bet’s a bet.”

Before I can react, Vinyl pulls my head towards hers. Her lips touch mine and I try to pull away, but soon relax and let Vinyl do her thing. I can hear cheering come from Spike and Moonlight. Her tongue darts into my mouth, dancing with mine, as her hand runs up and down the back of my head. For what seems like an eternity, we stay like this. But alas, Vinyl pulls away, leaving the faint taste of cherries on my lips.

I shake my head to clear it of thoughts. “Wow. I should have bet something different, since it seems you’re an expert at this.”

Vinyl smirks and shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, you should have seen me in college. Man, those were the days.”

I look at the girls to see them staring, some with open mouths. And what’s this? I can see Rainbow’s wings twitching slightly. “Well, don’t just stand there! Pull up a chair and tell us about your night!” The girls shake their heads and join us at the table.

“Can I ask what that was about?” Twilight asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “A little bet I won. Anyway, let me introduce you to our new friend, Moonlight.” Each of the girls introduce themselves, Moonlight replying to each girl.

“So, want to explain what happened to you girls?” Spike asks through a mouthful of donuts.

The girls all detail how their night went, all of us laughing at their misfortune. The conversation then turns around to what Spike, Moonlight, Vinyl, and I did, which we are more than happy to do so. By the time we finish our story, the bell above the door jingles again. We all look to see Celestia and a mare in a blue and yellow flight jacket and pants with a mane reminding me of fire standing at the door. The mare is standing at attention. Donut Joe looks like he’s about to pass out. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rainbow nearly jump out of her seat at the sight of Spitfire.

“Princess Celestia! We’re so sorry for ruining the Gala,” Twilight says, glancing from Celestia to the floor as the rest of the girls do the same.

Celestia laughs. “Why, Twilight, you didn’t ruin the Gala. In fact, I say this has been the most eventful Gala in ages.”

“So you’re not upset at all?” Rarity asks.

“Of course not. Every Gala is the same thing every time, a formal gathering for the nobles of Equestria, which tends to get boring. I invited you all so that you may liven it up a bit.”

“Yeah, Twilight. Even I would get bored on the same thing day in and day out. Besides, I’m not one for formal events. Why do you think Luna wasn’t with Celestia and greeting the nobles?” I hear Moonlight snicker.

Twilight rubs the back of her head. “I never thought about that.”

“Speaking of my sister, how was your night, Luna? Did you enjoy the time you spent with Blake and Spike?”

“It has been one of the best nights since my return. You should have been there, sister. I daresay you may have enjoyed it,” Moonlight replies, a smirk on her face.

The girls glance between Moonlight and Celestia. “Uh, beg pardon, Princess, but this here is Moonlight,” Applejack points at Moonlight, “Not yer sister.”

Spike, Vinyl, and I smirk and turn towards Moonlight. “Would you care to drop the act, Moonlight?”

With a flash, Luna sits before us, a grin on her face. “Princess Luna?!” Nearly everybody shouts, save for those of us in the loop.

I look at Joe to see him sweating up a storm. “That’s right, Joe. You’ve been serving a Princess all along and I’m pretty sure she enjoyed the service. Isn’t that right, Luna?” Luna nods her head.

“But… But… How?” Twilight manages to ask after a bit.

“A simple illusion spell, Twilight. Well for an alicorn at least. I used it to disguise myself tonight so that I may enjoy it without worrying about how my subjects would perceive me,” Luna explains.

I stand up and head over to Celestia and Spitfire. “While all of you talk, I have some important business to talk about with Celestia and Spitfire here. Celestia, if you would please make this a private conversation?”

“Of course,” Celestia says as she heads to the other side of the room, Spitfire and I following her. Her horn glows and the yellow dome surrounds us. “Now, I don’t believe you two had the pleasure of meeting yet.”

Spitfire holds her hand out. “Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts.”

I shake her hand. “Blake, human. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Now then, what was it that you needed, Blake?” Celestia asks.

“Well,” I rub the back of my head, “I was hoping that the Wonderbolts could perform in Ponyville in the future on a date I specify.”

Celestia raises an eyebrow. “And what is the purpose of this performance?”

I sigh. “An orphan by the name of Scootaloo lives in Ponyville. She is constantly picked on and can barely fly. In a way, she reminds me of myself when I was younger. I had few, if any, people support me through those times, and right now, she needs all the support she can get. I had hoped that getting the Wonderbolts to perform on her birthday, which I need to figure out when, would keep her spirits up. Help her, ya know, keep going through the fight, and remind her that there are people looking out for her.”

Celestia smiles warmly and places a hand on my shoulder. “That is a noble thing to do, Blake, and I will gladly support you in your endeavor, as I’m sure the Wonderbolts will as well.” Celestia looks at Spitfire.

“Certainly, Princess. We’re always willing to inspire the younger generation of flyers. But our services don’t come cheap.”

“The crown will cover any expense.”

“Thank you for this. I’m positive that Scootaloo will love this. Now then, would you be able to do a custom routine?” I ask.

Spitfire reaches into the confines of her jacket and smirks, pulling out an iApple emblazoned in the colors of the Wonderbolts. “Always willing to do special routines for fans. Got a specific song for us to use?”

I pull out my iPod and slide through the song list. “Got it right here.”

Celestia and Spitfire raise an eyebrow. “You do realize that you can’t transfer songs—“

I wave my hand. “Already went through this, found out I can bypass the security settings on these devices, probably from being from a different world and such. And no, Celestia, I have no intention of using this to cut into the profits the music industry makes.”

Celestia nods her head. “Interesting. Please, continue.”

Spitfire and I touch our devices and I tap the song. After waiting a bit, Spitfire pulls her iApple away and slides through her song list before turning it to me. “This the song?”

I glance at the screen and nod my head. “Exactly what I wanted.”

“Well then, we’ll have a routine figured out by the time this filly’s birthday rolls around.”

“Again, thank you so much. You won’t believe how much this means to me and Scootaloo,” I turn to Celestia. “I’m going to need to contact you again with the date needed for this… Or better yet, I’ll get it right now. Mind dropping the dome, Celestia?” The dome dissipates and I turn to the rest of the girls. “Yo, Pinkie!”

Pinkie frantically waves her hand in the air. “That’s me! What do I win?”

“Being the premiere party pony of Ponyville, I’m sure you know when Scootaloo’s birthday is, right?”

“Well duh! Give me a second.” She reaches into her hair and pulls out a calendar, flipping through it. “Let’s see here, Scootaloo, Scootaloo… Aha! Her birthday is in six months, twelve days, six hours, and nine minutes!” Everyone in the room stares at her.

“Remember when I said you were stalkerish when following Scootaloo? I retract that statement and apply it to Pinkie.”

“Agreed.”

I shake my head. “Well, there’s your answer, Spitfire. Albeit a bit weird, but an answer. Think you can do it?”

Spitfire nods her head. “Of course I can. You can always count on the Wonderbolts to get a job done.”

“Oh, oh! Blake, your birthday is in here too! It’s in eight months, twenty-three days, two hours, and forty-five minutes!” Again, the stares Pinkie is receiving are overwhelming.

“How would you even know that, assuming that that calendar is right?! I didn’t tell anybody!”

Pinkie places the calendar back in her hair. “Oh, it constantly updates itself every time a new pony moves to Ponyville!”

Rarity glances out the window. Her eyes widen and she turns with a huff, drawing all attention to the room to her. “Rarity, what’s wrong?” Twilight asks.

“It’s that uncouth prince that completely disrespected me the entire time at the Gala. Some prince he turned out to be.” She points out the window and I look to see a stallion in a black suit and blue bowtie with a blond mane storming down the street.

“Pfft, that guy? He’s the one who disrespected you?” Rarity nods her head. “Give me five minutes with him. Princess, is there a spell to allow others to hear a conversation from a distance?” Celestia nods her head, “Good, cast it on Blueblood and I so everybody here can hear us,” I say as I head for the door.

“Hold up there partner. What are ya going to do exactly?” Applejack asks.

“Just going to have a little chat with him,” I push open the door and step out onto the sidewalk, the door swinging shut behind me. Blueblood has already passed the restaurant. I walk into the center of the street and yell, “Yo, Blueballs!”

Blueblood whips his head around and sets his gaze on me. “What did you call me you pathetic little welp?!”

“You heard me, Blueballs. You’re just another dumbass on the streets right now!” I look to my right and catch the gaze of a donkey staring at me, a scowl on its face, “No offense, sir.”

“Fuck you!” The donkey yells back as he continues walking down the sidewalk, flipping me the bird the entire time.

“Send me a clone and I probably would!”

Blueblood storms right up to me and pokes me in the chest. “Do you have any idea who you’re talking to right now, peasant?!

I clench my fists, ready to deck this guy a new one if needed. “Prince Blueblood, the most narcissist pony to ever walk the planet, and the asshole with no respect for anybody.”

Blueblood scoffs. “Don’t talk to me about respect! That mare that completely disrespected me in front all the nobles of Canterlot clearly has no respect for the upper class! And what would you know about respect?!”

“Our friends may want to cover their ears.”

“I know that,” I take a deep breath, “NOTHING IS MORE BADDASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT! And you have disrespected my friend tonight.”

Bluebloods eyes widen. “Oh, so you know the mare I’m looking for? Well then, I’ll see to it that you’ll both never be able to show your faces in Canterlot anymore, let alone Equestria! I’ll have the Princess lock you both up for treating a noble like this!”

I smirk. Time to reveal the game changer. “Well, I’d like to see what Celestia thinks of that.” I turn towards the restaurant window. “Wave hi, Celestia, Luna, and Rarity!” Three hands wave back as everybody watches us.

I look at Blueblood to see him sweating and trembling. “Princesses!”

I wrap my arm around him. “Yes, along with the mare, Rarity Belle, that supposedly disrespected you, and her friends, collectedly known as the Elements of Harmony. You heard of them right? The saviors of Equestria from Nightmare Moon? And look at that! They’re all having donuts and coffee together, like what friends would do! Now, do you think Celestia would punish any of them, or do something to ruin one of Equestria’s greatest defense mechanisms?” Blueblood doesn’t respond. He just stands there, mouth opening and closing in shock.

“Hey, Celestia, did Rarity tell you her side of the story?” Celestia nods her head. “And you heard Blueblood’s side?” Again, a nod. “Well, do you think Rarity should be punished?” Celestia shakes her head. “Well, there you have it. Rarity Belle is not to be punished!”

Before Blueblood can move, I grab him by his suit and pull him close so he’s staring into my eyes. “You, on the other hand, still have a lesson to learn.”

“Please, don’t hurt me,” Blueblood whimpers.

“Oh, I won’t. But if I find out that you disrespect any, and I mean any, mare in Equestria again, I will find you and make you even less of a stallion than you are right now and shove it so far down your throat that they’ll have to invent a new term for it! Got it?” Blueblood nods his head.

“Good, but we ain’t done yet. I want you to run twenty laps around this block as further punishment. I will be sitting with my friends, watching the street. If I don’t see you every four minutes, I will make good on my previous statement right here in the middle of the street. And you better be sweating each time. Your time starts now.” I let Blueblood go and he stumbles backwards.

“But—”

“Go!” Blueblood scrambles away from me. I stand in the street till I see him round the corner. Satisfied, I head back inside Joe’s, a smile on my face.

“We handled that pretty well, don’t ya think?”

“We?! I did all the talking!”

The inside of the restaurant erupts with cheering and clapping from almost everyone present. I bow, and then retake my seat at the table. “Way to go, Blake!” Rainbow hits me on the shoulder.

Applejack laughs. “I ain’t ever seen a pony that scared before!”

“Wowie, you sure know how to handle big jerks!”

“Thank you for sticking up for me dear,” Rarity plants a light kiss on my cheek, “And might I say, well done. That brute deserved it.”

“Oh, umm… You were great.”

“Now I’m kinda glad I didn’t have to deal with the nobles much back when I lived here.”

“Nice work!” Spike holds his fist out to me, which I gladly bump back as I notice Blueblood pass by on the street.

“Man, that guy was totally killing the mood.”

Luna huffs and crosses her arms. “Now you know why we don’t care for the nobles. Still, excellent work.”

Spitfire shakes her head. “If he was my commanding officer, I wouldn’t listen to a single word that escapes his lips.”

Celestia sighs. “Prince Blueblood is one of the few nobles I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with. But tell me, do you really intend to go through with your deed should he fail to listen to you?” At this, all eyes turn to me.

“This is a crucial point right now. Don’t screw this up!”

“Relax. I got this.”

“Pfft, are you kidding? I would never do that to another man, let alone go that far. Trust me, the only reason I said that stuff is because fear is a powerful motivator, and I can attest to that.”

Twilight nods her head. “It’s true. Studies have shown that when faced with fear—”

Rainbow groans. “Twilight, can we please just enjoy the rest of the night without you having to egghead it up?” Twilight blushes as we all laugh at her, while I notice Blueblood pass by outside. Let’s see… he’s about threelaps in.

Spitfire excuses herself, saying she needs to get started on a new routine. Before she leaves, however, she turns to me and winks. Princess Luna and Celestia leave shortly after, teleporting themselves back to the castle. The rest of us eat and drink till Blueblood barges in through the door, his breath coming in short bursts and his suit stained with sweat. “Ah, Blueblood, glad to see you can follow instructions. Very well, you’re free to go.”

Blueblood nods once and scrambles out the door. Moments later, Night Watch arrives with our carriage. Upon seeing him, Vinyl jumps up. “Ah man! I didn’t know you guys brought Night Watch with!”

“Yeah, he’s our carriage driver for the night. Said it gave him a reason to see his sister, Octavia.”

We all stand up from our seats and head for the door. “I haven’t seen him in ages! You do know he’s the one who hooked Octy and me up, right?”

“Octavia Melody? Of the famed Canterlot Philharmonic Orchestra? I never would have thought,” Rarity says, getting a mummer of agreement from the rest of the girls and Spike.

“Yeah, we try to keep it on the down low though.” We step outside and Vinyl runs towards Night Watch. “Hey, buddy! Long time no see!”

Night turns to her. “Ah, Vinyl Scratch! A pleasure to see you again! Tell me, has my sister been giving you trouble?”

Vinyl laughs. “You know it, but it wouldn’t be fun without a challenge!”

I walk over and pat Night’s shoulder. “Glad to see you made it, Night. One question that I’m sure is on everybody’s mind right now is, why? Why would you hook up someone like Vinyl with someone like Octavia?”

Night chuckles. “Have you seen my sister? And the way Vinyl acts at times?” Vinyl playfully punches him in the shoulder, “I believed that the two would balance themselves out. It would teach my sis to loosen up a bit, and Vinyl to act mature for once.”

Twilight rubs her chin in thought. “Well, they do say opposites attract.”

Night finally looks at the girls. “Woah. I must have missed something massive for you all to look like that.” Spike snickers, earning a swift kick in the leg from Rainbow Dash.

I chuckle. “Check the news tomorrow and you’ll find out. Long story short, they brought this on themselves when the Gala wasn’t going according to their plans.”

Night laughs as well. “Well, I can see you’ve all had a long day, as have I. Are we ready to return to Ponyville?” We all nod our heads, “And I take it you will be joining us, Vinyl?”

Vinyl walks over and climbs into the carriage. “Yeah, seeing as the last train left about an hour ago.” We all follow Vinyl’s lead, save for Night, and climb into the carriage.

Our ride home proves to be uneventful, with most of us deciding to sleep right then and there. Pulling into Ponyville, everybody groggily awakens and goes their separate ways, bidding good nights and promises of meeting up tomorrow for a movie night at my place.

Movie Night 2: Movie Harder!

“Permanent Vacation”

Movie Night Two: Movie Harder!

I slam a cabinet door shut. I’ve been rummaging around the kitchen looking for anything to cook for dinner tonight that would satisfy the palettes of my guests tonight. So far, I’ve had no such luck. Gah, why did I have to get stuck on a planet where meat isn’t a common food?! Pulling open a drawer, I grab a recipe book filled with every single recipe my family has used over the years. Flipping through the pages, I stop at one that catches my eye. Yeah, yeah, this could work. The meat part of the dish is optional, all the supplies I could get in town, and it isn’t that hard to make. Looks like I found dinner tonight.

Ah, but what is dinner without dessert? Reaching back into the drawer, I grab another recipe book for desserts only. I already know what I’m going to make, I just need to see what it takes. Hmm, this might actually work. Grabbing a pen and notepad, I jot down what I need. Replacing the recipe books, I head for the front door, throwing on a jacket. Looks like I’m gonna need to make a stop at Sugercube Corner and Berry’s.

I slam the door shut with my foot, my hands full with bags of groceries from the market. Thankfully, I was able to get everything I needed for around seventy bits. Heading into the kitchen, I set everything on the counter and glance at the clock to see it’s twelve-thirty. Hm, I assume the girls will arrive at around five again, so I still got some time.

But first, I need to prepare dessert, which starts with a pot of coffee. Once that’s finished, I mix together sugar, egg yolks, mascarpone cheese, some Kahlua, and heavy cream. Dunking the ladyfingers I just bought in the coffee, I layer the bottom of a pie tin with them and pour the mixture over it. Repeating this process until the tin is filled, I step back and admire my work. Ah, it will be good to have tiramisu pie again. Can’t remember the last time I had it. After throwing it in the fridge, I clean up my mess.

With nothing better to do, I head into my living room to play some Assassin’s Creed: Unity for the next couple of hours. Once three rolls around, I figure I better get started on dinner. Grabbing my iPod, I head into the kitchen and attach it to the iHome, picking a random song. After turning on two burners on the oven, I throw a slab of beef into a frying pan. While that cooks, I fill a large pot with water, setting it to boil. Once the water is boiling, I start chopping up the vegetables I got from the market today.

I turn up the volume on the iHome as WTP comes on. I sing along and groove to the music as I keep cooking, frying the meat and adding tomato paste to the water and vegetable mix to create hamburger (Optional for my pony guests, of course.) vegetable soup. As the song ends, I glance at what I have so far and turn down the volume of the iHome. “Alright, it seems like I have everything, but I can’t help feeling that something is missing…” I snap my fingers, “Ah ha! I’m missing the drinks!”

“You know water is free, right? How hard is it to serve water?”

“Are you kidding me? What kind of generous host would I be if I served the same drink twice in a row? Variety is the spice of life, you know.”

“Alright, just trying to make your life easier. Can you fault me for that?”

I shake my head. “Honestly, my friend, I would be doing the exact same thing. So, no, I don’t blame you.”

Rummaging through the cupboards, I grab a two gallon pitcher and a pack of Lipton tea bags. Filling the pitcher with ice cold water, I lower two bags into the water. “Alright, if I timed this right, then everything will be done by five.”

“Five?!” A slam from behind me causes me to jump. I spin around to find the source. “You mean we gotta wait another two hours before we eat?!” Rainbow Dash has her hands on the table, a look of pure disbelief on her face. With her are the rest of the girls, along with three little additions.

After I calm my beating heart, I ask, “How long have you been there? Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

“We just got here as that there song started. We would have knocked, if somepony didn’t barge in.” Applejack glares at Rainbow.

Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, sorry I didn’t knock. Now, when are we going to eat?”

“Rainbow Dash! Can you not offer a more sincere apology to our host for the evening and not focus on the food for once?”

I wave my hand. “No, no, it’s alright, Rarity. I realize that’s the best I’m going to get right now. And it’s not my fault that you,” I point at Rainbow, “Decided to come early. So, you being hungry is all on you, not me. Speaking of coming early, why are you all here early?”

“Well, reshelving the library went by faster than I anticipated, so I came to see if you would let me read some of your books while we waited.”

“Mister and Misses Cake closed the store early today and I said to myself, ‘Gee, Pinkie, I wonder if Blake needs any help with this party tonight?’ and then I said, ‘Well go over there and—”

“Alright, I get the point!” I point to Rarity. “Your reason for both you and your sister!”

“Of course. I, for one, wished to discuss with you the finer points of fashion from your world over a nice cup of tea. Alas, I couldn’t leave my sister home alone, so I assumed you wouldn’t mind if I brought her along.”

“So also said there’d be free snacks and a movie!”

Rarity blushes. “Hush, Sweetie.” Ah, taking advantage of our generosity now, Rarity? Can’t say that I blame her for it, what with her giving so much all the time. She needs to take all she can get.

I laugh. “It’s alright, Rarity. I can handle a few more guests for tonight.” I point to Applejack. “Alright, AJ, you’re up.”

Applejack shrugs her shoulders. “Not much ta say, really. We finished everything that needed doing before the first snowfall tomorrow early. Since Apple Bloom worked extra hard today,” Applejack playfully rubs her sister’s head, “Ah figured she deserved a treat, so ah brought her along.”

“Preparations for winter were way too easy this year, so me and the weather team finished early. Now can we please get some food?!”

Pinkie reaches into her hair and pulls out a box of cookies. “Here, have a cookie! They’re freshly baked!” Rainbow quickly snatches a cookie from the box.

I sigh and shake my head. “Moving on before I get an aneurism from that, what about you, Fluttershy?”

“Oh, um… I was just in the area to say hi. If you were home and were okay with that.” There’s something more to that sentence, but I decide not to push it.

“Uh huh. Well then, how about you, Scootaloo?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, I sorta tagged along with Applejack and Apple Bloom once I found out where they were going.”

I tap my chin in thought. I gotta bring up a valid point here to see how far she’s going to lie. “I’m fine with that, but are your parents okay with this? You’re going to be here pretty late.”

Scootaloo leans forward in her chair, a distant look in her eyes which is swiftly replaced with confidence. “They’re cool with it. They don’t care when I get home, just as long as I get there.”

“But what if something happens—”

“Rarity, please. If her parents trust her, then so do I. Besides, she could spend the night here if need be. I’m sure here parents would understand.”

Scootaloo’s wings buzz in excitement. “Really?!” She notices all of us staring at her. Coughing, she quickly leans back in her chair and collects herself. “That’s cool. Thanks for the offer, Blake.”

“Ah, trying to act cool in front of your idols. Remember when we acted like that?”

“Yes, I do remember those days. But with age comes maturity.”

“In your case, more like immaturity.”

I clap my hands. “Well, now that that is taken care of, on to more pressing matters. As you can see, much to the annoyance of our chromatic friend, dinner won’t be done for a while. In the meantime, what do you want to do?” Pinkie raises her hand and madly waves it. “Yes, Pinkie?”

“Yes, called on again!” She does a quick fist pump. “I am on fire with your questions! Okay, how about we play a party game, like truth or dare?”

“Oh, a game sounds wonderful right now.” Fluttershy says, surprising me when she doesn’t ask for the opinions of everybody else.

“Great idea, Pinkie. I’ll be right back with the perfect one.” Heading to my bedroom, I grab a box for the game Apples to Apples from my closet. Going back to the kitchen, I announce, “Who’s ready for Apples to Apples?”

Applejack and Apple Bloom perk right up. “Apples?!” We all laugh at that as they blush at their little outburst.

“Nah, not apples in that sense. Basically, it’s a party game designed for more family friendly environments. I would bring out the adult themed version if we didn’t have little ears around.” I motion towards the Crusaders.

Scootaloo slams the table. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sweetie follows Scootaloo’s example. “Yeah, what she said!”

“Sweetie Belle! Please try to show some manners!”

Sweetie hangs her head. “Sorry, sis.”

“What I mean, Scootaloo, is that you’ll be able to play it once you’re older and more knowledgeable about certain things.”

Scootaloo huffs and crosses her arms. “Fine. Let’s just play this game already.”

I set the box down on the table and reach inside, taking out a deck of red cards. As I shuffle them, Twilight asks, “So, what are the rules of this game?” Somehow, she got a scroll and quill from somewhere.

“How about I explain as we go, since it will be easier for everybody involved?” They all nod their heads as I deal out seven cards to everybody. “These are red apple cards, which have the name of a person, place, thing, or an event. If you don’t know the thing on the card, it gives you a little insight into what is exactly on the card. Anyway, don’t show these to anybody else.” The girls gather up their cards, looking at them in the process. I notice mixed reactions from them. Twilight and Fluttershy look intrigued, Rarity and Applejack raise their eyebrows and slightly tilt their heads, and Rainbow, Pinkie and the Crusaders look excited.

“Alright, so now what?” Rainbow asks.

I place a deck on green cards in the center of the table. “These are green apple cards. On these, there is a characteristic of something. For example,” I grab the first card of the deck, “Touchy-feely. In other words, affectionate, huggy, etc… Now, your job is to silently play a card, facedown, from your hand that you think best matches this. Once everybody has picked a card, I’ll read them aloud and pick the best response.”

“So we can play a card based on your personal opinion?” Rarity asks.

“You can, but it isn’t a surefire win though. I may pick an off the wall answer if it’s really good.”

Rarity smiles. “Oh, I have just the card for this!” She slides her card over to me

Applejack chuckles. “Heh, I don’t know, Rares. Ah may just have ya beat here.” Her card joins the growing pile in front of me.

Twilight rubs her chin. “Oh, I can’t decide. None of these match the description!” She sighs in frustration as she slides a card to me.

Rainbow Dash groans. “Why can’t I have any awesome cards?” She slams a card down on the table.

“Oh, I don’t know if I should play this one.”

Rainbow nudges Fluttershy. “Come on, Fluttershy. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s only a game.”

“Um, okay.” Fluttershy gingerly slides her card to me.

Pinkie slams a card on the table. “I got this one!”

“I don’t know what this is, but it sounds nice!” Sweetie hands me her card.

Scootaloo slides me her card without a word. Apple Bloom grimaces, but slides a card anyway. “Ah don’t rightly know what any of mah cards mean, so ah’m playing that.”

Gathering the cards up, I mix them up. “Nobody point out if I’m reading your card. Alright, and the first card for touchy-feely is,” I draw the first card, “Having an operation.” You could cut the silence in the air with a butter knife.

“What?” Applejack finally breaks the silence.

“Wonderful way to start the game, but I will admit that they are sorta touchy-feely in a way.” Everybody looks at me. “What? I never said I had to agree with the cards definition of touchy-feely!"

“That is a good point,” Twilight agrees.

“Alright, next up we have a bad haircut. Yeah, sorry, but that one is out of the running. Next, somebody thinks stun guns are touchy-feely.” I cringe. “Oh, that one really hurts.”

“What’s so bad about a stun gun?” Scootaloo asks.

“Well, nothing says ‘I love you’ more than getting fifty-thousand volts of electricity coursing through your body every second.” Everybody cringes as well.

“Okay, ouch,” Rainbow says.

“Moving on, we have amputations.” Silence reigns around the table. “Okay, putting that one off to the side. Next, we have getting a hug.”

“Oh, I like that one.”

“I will admit, Fluttershy, that that is a good one. Next,” I draw another card, “Oh, we may have a double contender with giving a hug. Tough choice indeed.”

“Even I would have trouble with a choice like that! Getting a hug makes you feel all warm and tingly inside, knowing that someone made you smile! But giving a hug is just as rewarding, knowing you’ve made someone smile and brightened up their day!”

“We may have a winner here, but let’s see what else is in store. And someone played Woodstock!” I laugh. “Oh man, that could probably rival the definition of touchy-feely!”

“What’s Woodstock?” Twilight asks.

“It was a music festival back in nineteen sixty nine based around peace, love, and music. Ah, what I wouldn’t have given to be there. Anyway, onto the next card. We have Britney Spears!

“Who’s that, dearie?”

“Ah, just a singer. I’ll play you some of her music sometime. But trust me, she isn’t touchy-feely. However, I’m pretty sure many men wanted to get touchy-feely with her, not me, mind you.”

“Oh my.” Fluttershy blushes.

“And last but not least, we have high school football.”

“So, who wins this round?” Rainbow asks.

I rub my chin in thought. “Seeing as I’m a lover, not a fighter, I’m going with giving a hug. Who had that?” Rarity raises her hand. I slide the green card over to her. “Point for Rarity, keep the card as a way of keeping score.

“Thank you, Blake, on making an excellent decision.”

“Alright, everybody redraw a red card till you have seven. Play passes to the left, which puts Fluttershy in charge.”

Fluttershy eeps. “Do I really have too?” I place a hand on her shoulder and smile softly. She looks at me, fear evident in her face. However, she returns the smile. “Okay, here I go.” She reaches out tentatively out towards the deck and grabs the top card. She reads it and bursts into giggles. “Can I please give the card to myself?”

“No way! That would be against the rules! Right, Blake?”

“You’re right, Pinkie, it would be against the rules. So, why don’t you read the card for us and tell us what’s so funny?”

“Shy. I got shy.” She places the card in the center of the table and sure enough, she got shy. Everybody bursts out laughing.

“Alright, now let’s find out what Fluttershy finds shy.” I glance at my cards. I can tell this is going to be a fun night.

I clap my hands. “Alright, after two hours of play, our winner is,” I pound my hands on the table in a drumroll effect, “Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow does a fist pump. “Ah yeah! Told you I was awesome at this game!” Forms of congratulations are said from everybody as we clean up.

I glance at the clock on the wall. “Ah, does anybody know what time it is?”

Pinkie raises her hand. “I do! It’s muffin time!”

“No, that would be at twelve-thirty. It’s actually time for dinner.”

“Finally!”

“Yeah, I’m with Rainbow Dash! I’m starving!” Leave it to Scootaloo to agree with Rainbow.

“All that fun we were having worked up a mighty big appetite.”

“What are we having tonight? It smells simply divine.”

I stand up and head to the stove, spooning generous amounts of the soup into bowls and ice cold tea into cups. “Tonight, we are having something simple and fresh, vegetable soup. Well, hamburger vegetable soup in my case unless you want some, Rainbow?”

“Uh, yeah! You know how I like my meat!”

“Must. Resist. Urge. To. Comment!”

“Rainbow Dash eats meat?!” The Crusaders yell.

“Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, please explain this to the Crusaders.” I tune out the explanations they give as I continue to serve everyone.

Right before I sit down, Scootaloo hands me her bowl. “If Rainbow Dash eats meat… Then I will too!”

I raise an eyebrow as I grab the bowl. “You sure about that? I’m not forcing you to eat it and I wouldn’t want you to get sick from it.”

“Yeah, squirt. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. I mean, I only tried it cause I was curious why Gilda enjoyed it so much.”

“Well, I’m curious too! If Rainbow Dash tried it and eats it, then so can I!”

I shrug my shoulders and put a small amount of meat into her bowl. “Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn ya.” I set the bowl in front of her and take my seat. Everyone digs in, save for Scootaloo, who is staring at the piece of meat on her spoon. Around the table, I notice everyone glancing at her from time to time.

For whatever reason, Scootaloo takes the plunge and shoves the spoon in her mouth. Movement around the table ceases as we watch her face for any indication on if she like it or not. At first, a grimace, causing my hopes of her eating meat to be shot. However, the grimace is replaced with a smile as she swallows. “That tasted awesome!”

Rainbow pats her on the back. “I knew ya would like it squirt.”

“Thanks, Rainbow Dash!”

After this, the atmosphere of the room brightens considerably. Chatter and laughter from everybody is the only thing heard. Once everybody finishes, I gather up the dishes and deposit them in the sink. “Thanks again for dinner, Blake,” Twilight says.

“Anytime. Cooking is one of my favorite pastimes, so it’s no trouble at all for me to do this. Plus, I get a chance to hang out with all of you.”

“Now on to the best part of any meal, dessert!” Pinkie reaches into her hair and pulls out the box of cookies again.

I open the fridge and pull out the tiramisu. “Well, okay then. That means more pie for me.” I say in a singsong voice.

In a flash, the box of cookies is gone. “Did somepony say pie? I love pie!”

“So, who wants some?”

“What kind of pie is it?” Twilight asks.

I take a deep whiff of the aroma coming off the pie and sigh. “Tiramisu pie, one of the best kinds to ever grace my lips.”

“Tira what now?” Applejack cocks her head to the side.

Rainbow shrugs her shoulders and leans back in her chair. “Eh, I’ll pass. Sounds too fancy for my tastes.”

“What does it taste like?” Twilight asks.

“Anybody here ever have coffee cake?” Pinkie, Twilight, and Rarity nod their heads. “It tastes like that then. And too bad for Rainbow since she’ll miss out on tasting the alcohol in this.”

“I’m in,” Rainbow and Applejack say at the same time.

“Alcohol? Then I’m afraid I’ll have to pass, my sister included.”

“Aw, but Rarity! I wanted dessert!” Sweetie moans.

I start cutting slices, glancing over my shoulder every so often. “Relax, Rarity. There isn’t enough alcohol in this to cause any problems, just enough to give it a slight taste of flavor. I wouldn’t serve it to you guys if it would cause more harm than good."

Rarity sighs. “Very well then. But just a small piece for Sweetie and me.” Sweetie squees (Better get used to that being a common sound effect around here.).

Serving everybody a slice, I sit down and indulge myself in this wonderful treat. I let out a soft moan as the first bite hits my taste buds, swarming them with flavor. I notice everybody else enjoying their slice as well.

Rarity dabs her mouth with a napkin. “That was simply divine. You simply must share the recipe with me, Blake.”

I nod my head. “Of course.”

Applejack chuckles. “If’n I didn’t know any better, I’d say this had no alcohol in it.”

I laugh. “See? That’s the beauty of baking that not many people understand. With enough practice, you can mask flavors.”

“When are we watching the movie?” Sweetie asks.

I gather up the dishes and throw them in the sink. “Right now actually, so follow me.” We head into the living room. Everybody takes their seats from before, with the Crusaders forming their own semi-circle on the floor. I go and browse my movie collection. Spotting a perfect film, I have just one question to ask before I can play it. “So, this film contains death. Rarity, Applejack, are you okay with your sisters seeing this?”

Applejack rubs the back of her head. “Well, Apple Bloom is old enough ta make her own decisions.” I look at Apple Bloom, who is furiously nodding her head.

Rarity glances at Sweetie. “I’m not too sure if I want my sister seeing those kind of things…”

“Rarity, I’m going to be honest with you. Kids from my world were, and still are, watching this movie. If it is so bad for kids, why are they still watching it?”

Rarity sighs. “Oh, very well then.

I glance at the DVD in my hand. Actually, I have another question. I rub my chin in thought. “Hm, I’m not sure which one in the saga to play first. Do I go by release date, or chronological order?”

“Wouldn’t that be the same thing since the movies were released in order?”

I chuckle. “It would, but this saga is special. See, when the saga started, it only had three movies. Then the prequels came out, so people started referring to them by following the timeline within the saga. So one, two, and three became four, five, and six. Do you understand?” I glance at Twilight to see her nodding her head, while Rainbow scratches hers.

“So these prequels, going by release date, are four, five, and six. But going by timeline sets them as one, two, and three?”

I nod my head. “Exactly. Ya know, that settles it. I’m starting us off at the beginning, going by the release date.” I throw Star Wars: A New Hope into the Xbox, turn off the lights, and then plop down on the couch between Rarity and Fluttershy. “Prepare for the most epic saga of all time!

As the opening slide plays, I hear Rainbow groan. “Come on! I wanted to watch a movie, not read about it!”

I chuckle. “Ye of little faith, watch and listen.” Rainbow mumbles something under her breath.

Everyone’s attention is drawn to the movie as the sound of laser fire and engines roaring are heard. At this point, Fluttershy curls into a ball and starts shaking. I wrap an arm around her and pull her close to me, causing most of her shaking to subside. However, the sight of Darth Vader causes her shaking to resume until he’s off-screen. Emotions vary as the movie progresses, going from curiosity from Twilight at the sight of the Force, crying and tears at the sight of Luke’s aunt and uncle (Not to mention the destruction of Alderaan.), to cheers of joy at the success of the Rebels.

Once the movie ends, I usher everyone out, thanking each of them for coming. Applejack and Apple Bloom have just left, leaving Scootaloo the last one to leave. She’s staring at the floor and nervously drawing circles with her hoof.

I slam the door shut and head towards the spare bedroom. “Come along now. You can stay here tonight.”

“Really?” I can hear the buzzing of Scootaloo’s wings.

I laugh. “Yes, really. I don’t want you walking around in the dark.” I hear the clopping of hooves behind me as Scootaloo catches up. Opening up the door to the spare bedroom, I motion inside. “Here ya go. One clean guest room, all ready for you tonight.”

Scootaloo rushes into the room, diving onto the bed. “This bed is awesome!”

Heading to the closet, I grab a pillow, sheet, and comforter for her. Not sure if they’ll pass through the bed or not, but only one way to find out. “And tonight, may those awesome dreams be of the Wonderbolts. Now, I trust you can make the bed and put yourself to sleep?”

She nods her head. “Of course. I’m not like, three anymore.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Suit yourself. I’ll be down the hall if you need me. My door will be open, but knock before coming in.” I head for the door.

“Blake?”

I turn around. “Yeah, Scoots?”

She rushes over and hugs me. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

I return the hug. “You’re welcome, Scoots.” She releases me from her hug and I go to the door, but pause at the exit. “Goodnight, Scootaloo.”

“Night, Blake.”

After storing the leftover food from dinner, I head to my bedroom and change. Crawling under the covers, I place my hands behind my head and sigh. After the events of tonight, I’d say things are going according to plan with everybody involved with my life.

Author's Note

So, here's the cards everybody had after the first round. Tell me, which card would you play and which would you choose if you were in Shy's position?

Blake: Friction, Cindy Crawford, Fast Food,The Green Bay Packers, Magic Tricks, Jennifer Lopez, The Godfather

Rarity: Homework, Lenin's Tomb, The Williams Sisters, The Internet, Bombs, Having a Baby, John Philip Sousa

Applejack: Screeching, Clint Eastwood, Alfred Hitchcock, Albert Einstein, South Park, At My Parent's House, Swiss Cheese

Twilight: Waterfalls, Big Macs, Corn on the Cob, My Mind, California, Eddie Murphy, Puff Daddy

Rainbow: Disneyland, Tibet, Oral Surgery, Giant Squid, China, Sailors, Labor Unions

Fluttershy: Attack on Pearl Harbor, Water Parks, Money, Kilts, Bankruptcy, Anthony Hopkins, A Bull Fight

Pinkie: Casablanca, Bumper Stickers, Wheat, Confucius, Charging Rhinos, Pablo Picasso, Buying a House

Sweetie: London, Mahatma Gandhi, Salads, Rocky Mountains, Mold, Global Warming, Boxing

Scootaloo: Garth Brooks, Frank Lloyd Wright, Killer Whales, Martin Luther King, Jr., The Ozone Layer, AIDS, A Nine Iron

Apple Bloom: Muhammad Ali, Bounty Hunters, Vincent van Gogh, Jodie Foster, My Sixteenth Birthday, Pigs, William Shakespeare

Let It Snow

“Permanent Vacation”

Let It Snow

Waking up, I stretch and look out my window. Ah, a dusting of snow on the window. God, I love winter, even more now that I don’t have to drive in it. Going through my morning routine, I start making breakfast for my guest and me. I’m thinking pancakes and fried potatoes will suffice as a good breakfast. As I cook, I glance at the clock on the wall. Hmm, seven o’ clock. If this world is anything like back home, then school should start at around eight-forty. I chuckle as a thought crosses my mind.

I believe that Scootaloo has slept long enough for the time being. Knocking on the door, I slowly open it and peek inside. Scootaloo is curled up into a ball under the covers. She is facing towards the door. “Scootaloo, time to get up,” I say in a singsong voice.

She groans and rolls over. “But I don’t wanna,” She moans.

I laugh and shake my head. “Come on now. If you don’t get up, you’ll miss breakfast before you have to go to school.” She doesn’t respond. “Alright, suit yourself. If you’re not up and at the table in ten minutes, I’m coming back in with a bucket of cold water.” I shut the door and walk away, hearing groans from the room behind me.

I finish cooking and start setting the table for breakfast. Glancing at the clock, I see that Scootaloo is cutting it pretty close with only two minutes left. One minute later, she walks out and sits down at the table. “Alright, so you got me up. Now, can I have breakfast before I have to leave?”

I serve the food and sit down at the table. I glance at her clothes as we start eating. Swallowing the food in my mouth, I motion with my hand towards her. “Well, I hope you ain’t planning on going out in the snow wearing that.”

She pauses mid bite, her eyes going wide. She looks out the window and face palms. “Ah man! I forgot that was today! Can’t believe I forgot my winter gear!”

I motion for her to calm down. “Relax, I got you covered. I might still have a winter coat that may fit you.”

“Really?”

I nod my head. “Of course. You are a guest under my roof. As such, I take care of my guests.” We finish eating in silence. As we stand up from the table, I say, “Why don’t you put the dishes in the sink while I get you that coat, okay?” Scootaloo nods her head.

Going to my bedroom, I head to the closet and start searching through boxes, looking for the one that has most of my old clothes. Finding it, I reach inside and pull a black, fur-lined coat with a pair of large angelic wings cascading from the shoulder blades down. I believe this will be a perfect fit for Scoots.

I head back to the kitchen and hand the coat to Scootaloo, who is staring out the window. “One awesome looking coat from yours truly.”

She looks the coat over, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the wings on the back. “Woah! Awesome wings!” She hurriedly puts the coat on, which would fit perfectly if she didn’t have wings. She frowns and looks at me.

I tap my chin in thought before snapping my fingers. “Got it! I’ll just cut some holes in the back for your wings. Then, after school, go see Rarity and ask her to properly adjust the holes for your wings.” I grab a pair a scissors and a pencil, “Now, straighten your wings so I can see where they are.”

“But… How can I return it to you if it has holes in it?”

I rub her head and smile. “Consider it an early Hearth’s Warming Day present.”

“Really?!”

“Yes. Now straighten those wings,” She follows my order and stands rigid. I mark the locations where her wings are. “Now, if you’ll please take it off?” She tosses me the coat and I get to work on cutting two thin slits. Handing it back, she tries it on with great success, her tiny orange wings poking out through the slits.

She directs them through a range of motions before giving me a thumb up. “Perfect. Thanks a lot, Blake.”

“Anytime, Scoots, anytime.” I glance at the clock. “Better hurry up or you’re going to miss school.”

Her eyes go wide and she looks at the clock. “Oh shoot!” She bolts out the door and grabs her scooter. I chuckle as I watch her ride down the street.

Now that that is taken care of, what should I do for the rest of the day? I step outside. Hmm, it’s not too chilly, but with just enough of a bite to make you bundle up. Yeah, this could work. Spend a couple of hours putting up lights and getting a tree, then head over to Vinyl’s for that job offer. But first, getting the tree. Running back inside, I easily find my box of Christmas décor and drag that out. Reaching inside, I pull out a homemade handsaw that was my grandfathers before he passed away. I smile as memories of us playing around during my younger years flash through my mind.

“Tick tock goes the clock! Better get going if you plan to do everything today.”

Right, right. Throwing on my white and blue striped coat and black gloves, I head outside. Hmm, definitely not carrying a tree all the way back here. Maybe Applejack has a cart I can borrow for a bit? Well, looks like I need to make two stops before I get a tree.

Nearing the farmhouse at Sweet Apple Acres, I spot Fluttershy, bundled up in a green coat, yellow scarf, and green beanie, and Applejack, wearing a tan coat, talking on the front porch. Wow, looks like I can kill two birds with one stone. Applejack spots me and waves me over. “Howdy, Blake.”

Fluttershy pulls her hand out from her pocket and waves. “Hello, Blake.”

“Hey, Applejack, Fluttershy. So, what brings you around here, Fluttershy?”

“Oh, Applejack asked me to make sure all the animals are healthy for the winter months.”

“And I assume that everything is good?”

“Yep, the animals are all fit as a fiddle, according ta Shy here.” Applejack shivers slightly. “Say, why don’t ya’ll come in for ah cup of cocoa?”

I shake my head. “No can do, Applejack, but thanks for the offer.”

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s that?” Fluttershy points at the saw.

“Oh, this?” I hold up the saw. “Just an old handsaw from my grandfather.”

Applejack raises an eyebrow and puts her hands on her hips. “Ah hope you weren’t planning on cutting down any of mah trees now.”

I chuckle. Very protective of her trees, ain’t she? “No, it isn’t for your trees, Applejack. Actually, I need some help from both of you, if you wouldn’t mind?”

Applejack nods her head. “Shoot, I ain’t got nothing better to do.”

“Um, I’ll help you.”

“Great. Applejack, I’m gonna need a cart or wagon to haul this tree I’m cutting down.”

She heads to the barn and we follow her. “Sure thing. We got plenty of carts now that the growing season is over. Ya want some help loading this tree?”

“If you would be so kind.” Applejack goes into the barn while Fluttershy and I stay outside. “Fluttershy, since you know where animals live, I’m gonna need you to help me find a tree currently unoccupied so I don’t cause the destruction of some animal’s home.”

“Oh, we wouldn’t want that to happen! What kind of tree are you looking for?”

“A pine tree. Nothing too big, but not too small either. Also, it has to fit in my house.”

“I know the perfect tree. It’s been abandoned for a while now and none of my animal friends need it.”

I nod my head as Applejack comes out of the barn, her hands on the handles of the cart. “Great. You ready, Applejack?” She nods her head. “Then lead the way, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy leads us a good distance from the farm to these trees, likely on the outskirts of the property line. As we near them, Fluttershy goes up to one and examines it. “This one would be perfect. That is, if it’s okay with you.”

I walk around the tree and study it, putting pressure on some of the branches. Hmm, not too tall but not a twig either, not too many empty sections, and strong branches. I nod my head. “Yeah, this’ll work. Applejack, push the tree in the direction I’m cutting.” I kneel down and start cutting into the trunk. Once the tree falls, Applejack and I hoist it up into the cart.

As we head back to my place, Fluttershy asks me, “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you need the tree for. If you don’t want to answer, that’s okay.”

I chuckle. “What’s Christmas without a Christmas tree? Just because you don’t celebrate Christmas, doesn’t mean I don’t have to.”

“Ya never did tell us when this Christmas is.”

“December twenty-fifth every year, with Christmas Eve being on the twenty-fourth.”

“That’s the same day as Hearth’s Warming,” Fluttershy says.

“Why don’t ya just celebrate Hearth’s Warming instead?”

I sigh and stop, turning to stare at the tree which causes everybody else to stop. “Everything I’ve ever known was ripped out from under me when I got stuck here. Customs, traditions, food, holidays, everything. Everything from my world is gone now and I may never be able to experience them again.” I close my eyes and hang my head. “It may not seem like much, but Christmas means so much to me right now. It’s one of the few stable rocks I have that reminds me of Earth. I can’t lose these holidays. Taking them away would be like taking a part of what makes me, me.” I shiver, not from the cold, but from what I knew from the start finally hitting home.

Two pairs of arms wrap around me. “Oh, Blake. We had no idea this meant so much to you. Do you want us to celebrate it with you?”

I shake my head. “No, it’s fine, Fluttershy, really. I don’t want you guys to not celebrate Hearth’s Warming just because of me.” And I don’t want them getting too close, I think to myself.

Applejack spins me around to face her, her hands on my shoulders. “Ya sure, sugercube?” I nod my head, causing her to remove her hands. “Well, if’n you’re sure.”

“Come on then, back to my place to set this thing up.”

I walk ahead of the girls as we resume our trip. Along the way, I hear the two of them whispering about something. Eh, probably doesn’t concern me. Once we reach my house, I turn to the two girls. “Alright, wait here.” I go inside and carry out a box of lights, setting it on the ground. “Fluttershy, if you would please help me again?”

“Um, what do you want me to do?”

I reach down and grab a strand of lights. “Mind hanging these lights off the edge of my roof?” Fluttershy nods her head and grabs the strand. “Now, those little clips on there? Clip them onto the gutter in a way that the lights hang down, like icicles.”

Fluttershy nods her head and flies up. She puts the first strand up and looks down at me. “Um, is this right?”

I nod my head. “Good work. Just do that for the entire length of the gutter. Just make sure the male end, the one with the prongs, connects to a female, the one without the prongs, when hanging the next strand. Now, Applejack, help me carry this thing in.”

Applejack and I heft the tree up and carry it inside. “Where we putting this thing?”

I jerk my head towards the tree stand. “Put the trunk in that green bowl thing over there and hold it steady.” We lower the tree into the stand and maneuver it so it looks decent. Once that’s done, I get down on the ground and tighten the screws to hold it in place. Crawling back out, I study the tree. Nodding my head, I pat Applejack on the back. “Thanks for your help, Applejack.”

She tips her hat to me. “Anytime, partner.”

“Come, let’s see if Fluttershy is finished.” As we step outside, Fluttershy lands by the box of lights.

“I hope it’s right, Blake. I’m sorry if it’s not.” Fluttershy kicks at the snow.

“Well, you did your best and that’s all I ask for. But there’s only one way to see if these work.” Bending down, I reach into the box and grab and extension cord. I hand the female end towards Fluttershy. “Plug this into strand above us.” She grabs the cord and flies up, plugging it in. “Now, let’s see if it works.” Bending down, I plug the cord into an exterior outlet.

Standing back up, I turn to look at the lights and smile. Just like always, brilliant blue and white lights dangle from the gutters. Applejack whistles. “Mighty fine decorations there.”

I chuckle. “You ain’t seen anything yet. By this time next week, this place will be covered in Christmas decorations.” I clap my hands. “Well then, thank you both for helping me with this. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go see Vinyl about a job.”

Running inside, I deposit the saw by the front door and grab my iPod from the kitchen table. Going back outside, I wave goodbye to the girls as I run towards Vinyl’s home on the other side of town.

Walking around The Bass Kick, I whistle as a pure white, three-story building with a neon blue roof comes into view. Damn, how could I miss a place like this? As I near the front door, I glance in the bay windows to see rows upon rows of records, CDs, and other music paraphilia around the store. Looking up, I spot a large neon sign that says Scratched Records.

Pushing open the door, my ears are assaulted with wubs coming from speakers mounted in the corners of the room, the little bell announcing my arrival just barely audible. I nod my head and smirk at the sight before me. It’s exactly like I pictured it, blue and white tiled flooring with dark forest green paint on the walls. Over in the back left corner of the room is the counter, with Vinyl standing behind it, one side of her headphones on her ear. She smirks and motions for me to come over.

I shake my head and laugh as images of a fellow college student pass through my mind. He always had a pair of headphones on with one ear uncovered so he could hear the world and his music at the same time. But enough about him, I gotta get that job from Vinyl. Walking over to the counter, I lean on it. “So, still offering that job?”

She nods her head and smirks. “I am, if you think you can handle a place like this.”

I smirk. “Of course I am. Shall we discuss pay and hours?”

“Yeah, yeah, I was getting to that. It’s twenty bits a day, Monday through Friday, from seven to twelve.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Really? Only in the mornings? What, you don’t get enough beauty sleep?” She lowers her glasses just enough to look over them, staring right at me. “Wait, that’s really the reason? Shit, I was just guessing! Of course I’ll do it!”

Vinyl holds her hand out. “Welcome to Scratched Records. Come on, I’ll show you how to operate the place."

Vinyl takes me around the store, showing me everything from how to control the music to the purchasing of digital songs. It’s simple really. Customer gives money for song, I select the song on a tablet screen designed for this purpose, song is magically loaded to a gem on the back side of the tablet, customer connects device to gem, song transfers, boom, transaction complete. Hell, we even went through a mock purchase just so I could get a feel on running an Equestrian register, which is just a giant calculator to them.

“So, think you can still handle it?” Vinyl says as I hand her a ‘receipt’ from our mock purchase.

“Uh, yeah. Lady, you have no idea what kind of things I’ve dealt with back home.”

Vinyl laughs. “Trust me, your home is nothing to what Ponyville gets on a daily basis.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Well, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. On a different note, I heard that you have a recording studio upstairs?”

“Uh, yeah?! What kind of record producer would I be if I didn’t have a recording studio?”

I slap the counter. “Well then, would you mind going out and rounding up the band while I stay here and watch the store? We got an album to produce before the holiday rush!”

Vinyl smirks and nods her head. “Eager to get started, eh? Sure, I’ll grab them. Hey, hand me my coat from behind the counter, would ya?”

I bend down and grab a neon blue coat from a little shelf and toss it to her. “You do know where they live, right?”

She nods her head while throwing on the coat. She stops at the threshold of the door and looks back at me, a smirk on her face. “And remember, throw wild parties when I gone!”

I smirk. “Tell me where the booze is and I’ll be the party!”

Vinyl laughs as she steps out into the winter weather while I settle in for my impromptu shift. Hell, I just gotta look at the bright side of this. I got a decent job and we’re going to be making our very first album! Things are finally starting to look up for me.

Two Weeks Later

We, the band I should say, and Vinyl sit around a radio in her recording studio, listening to the songs playing from it. Vinyl glances up at the clock and smirks. “It’s time.”

We all lean forward in our seats as Vinyl turns up the radio. “Oh man, I can’t wait!” I say.

As the previous song dies down, the radio DJ comes back on. “Alright everypony, coming up next, we have a new song to broadcast. Coming from Scratched Records with their debut album, Eyes on Us, here is the All-Equestrian Rejects with Move Along!”

We let the song play for a little bit before Vinyl turns down the volume. “Congrats! You’ve all just officially become genuine rockstars!"

We cheer as I pop open a champagne bottle I bought just for this occasion. I quickly pour the bubbly liquid into glasses for everybody, even Spike. Yeah, I changed my opinion on letting him drink. After all, he is old enough, according to him at least. Setting the bottle down, I grab my glass and raise it up. “To making it in the world of music!”

“I’ll drink to that!” Lyra shouts as we all clink our glasses together and drink to our success.

“So,” Spike sets his glass down and leans forward in his seat, “How much money did our first album make, Vinyl?”

I smirk and rub my hands together. “Oh, I can’t wait to hear this. Come on, daddy needs a ton of bits!”

Vinyl smirks and leans back in her chair, “Well, even though our marketing campaign and distribution was on such short notice, we still managed to rack up a shit ton of sales!"

“But that still doesn’t answer our question. How much did we make?” Big Mac asks.

“I dunno, you tell me.” Vinyl’s horn lights up and four large sacks float out from behind a desk, stopping in front of each of us.

Wasting no time, I snatch my bag out of the air and eagerly open it. Peering inside, I gasp at the sea of gold bits inside. I look at everybody else and see similar reactions. “Oh my God, this is amazing!” I shake the bag and shudder at the jingling from within.

“These are heavy! Just how much did we make?! Lyra asks.

“After factoring in costs and my share,” Vinyl leans forward and tilts her shades down, “You each made twenty two hundred bits.”

Mac whistles. “Damn!”

I clap my hands. “And I know the first thing I’m buying! Spike, what kind of music does Twilight like?”

“Eh, she’s very open minded so a little bit of everything, but her favorites are classical and pop.”

“Perfect.” I reach into the sack and fish out enough bits to pay for a record. I toss the bits to Vinyl. “Here, I’m buying a CD for Twilight when we get downstairs.” And with that, my Christmas/Hearth’s Warming shopping is done.

Vinyl laughs and pockets the money. “Just remove the pop and everything part and we’ve got an exact copy of Octy!” She then snaps her fingers. “Oh, almost forgot!” Her horn glows and four CD’s float over to each of us. “It’s only fitting the band gets a copy of their own album.”

I grab the CD and look at the front cover. I smirk at the sight of the four of us standing in a line with smirks on our faces, our name and album name splayed out underneath us.

“Hey, do you think they got my good side?” Lyra asks.

Mac rolls his eyes. “Lyra, we all approved this photo during the shoot.”

Lyra playfully punches Mac in the shoulder. “I’m just messing with you. Every side is my good side, alright?”

I open up the case and look at the CD itself. On it, four eyes stare back at me, each one being from one of us. I close the case and down the rest of my champagne. Standing up, I throw on my jacket and pocket the CD and money. “Well, it’s been fun, but I gotta run. Got things to do, people to see, places to be.”

Vinyl nods her head. “Don’t forget to grab your CD on the way out.”

“Yeah, I was getting to that. Hey, Spike, mind coming with just so I don’t pick out something she already has?”

Spike nods his head and jumps off his seat. “Sure. There’s probably something here that she doesn’t already have.”

“Alright. Hey, you guys have fun now. Mac, send my regards to Applejack when you see her.”

“Eeyup.”

Spike and I head downstairs, where he heads right for the classical section. Still can’t believe Vinyl has a section devoted to classical music in her store, but then again, she has to cater to the whims and demands of the customer. He browses through the selection, occasionally picking up a CD and shaking his head. He pulls out a CD and looks at it, nodding his head. “Here, she doesn’t have this one and it’s from one of her favorite artists.”

I grab the CD and look at it. Heh, Neighzart. Still find it funny with the pony name puns around here. I nod my head and pocket the CD. “Thanks a lot, Spike. Hey, I’ll see you around. Have fun with the gang.” I head to the front door and push it open, walking out into the brisk winter chill. Better hurry home and finish wrapping these gifts for everybody.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year

“Permanent Vacation”

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year

My alarm screeching at me forces me to get up, groaning in annoyance the whole time. Turning off the alarm, I lie in bed and stare at the calendar. December twenty fourth, Christmas Eve. I sigh and roll out of bed. Looks like I’ll be spending Christmas alone… again.

“Hey, you still got me!”

“Like I said, alone again.”

“Hey!”

I snicker as I go through my morning routine. “I’m just messing with ya. Glad to have you around.”

“Likewise. Hey, try to have a Merry Christmas, will ya?”

“I can try, but no promises.”

As I head into the living room, I smile at the sight of the decorations. The tree is covered in lights and nerdy ornaments, like a red Dalek and an X-Wing, wreaths hang from the walls, and a multitude of other items sit scattered around. Underneath the tree are presents wrapped in brightly colored red and green wrapping paper with name tags on the top. Looks like I’ll have to deliver the girls their presents tomorrow. But still, gotta have them out to help with the ambience.

Turning to the kitchen, I make myself some eggs and toast, along with a tall glass of eggnog. What better way to start off Christmas Eve than with some eggnog? After breakfast, I throw a ham (Had to get that specifically ordered from Celestia) in the oven and head into the living room, sitting down on the sofa. My mind wanders back to past Christmases with my family. The laughter, the happiness, that… that… togetherness and sense of belonging. I sigh and lean back into the sofa. I gotta think positive here and try to be happy, but I can’t seem to forget about the past.

“Hey, you know what always cheers me up?”

“No, but something tells me I don’t want to hear the answer.”

“Relax, it’s Christmas Eve. I know when to cut back on the answers I normally give.”

I smirk and shake my head. “Alright, I’ll bite. What cheers you up?”

“When I feel sad, I walk.”

I sigh. “Alright, I get the reference. I’ll go for a walk. Still need to pick up a few things for dinner anyway.” Grabbing my coat, I head outside into the winter chill. Welp, time to put up a massive front for the people of town. With no real direction or purpose, I start walking in a random direction.

I’m not alone for my walk, as plenty of other ponies are out as well. Each time somebody sees me, they wave and wish for me to have a happy Hearth’s Warming. And each time, I return the wave and wish it right back to them with a smile, though each time kills me a little inside.

“And what exactly did we plan to accomplish on this walk?”

“That seeing the happiness of everybody in town would get you to be happy today?”

I snort. “Good luck with that. I’m up for anything, but it’s still a long shot.” I head for the market, eager to get back to my house. Reaching the market, I set out to grab everything I need for dinner tonight. Okay, not that many ponies here. I might just get a clean escape without having to put up another façade. Paying for some potatoes, I turn to leave.

“Howdy, Blake!”

Well, shit. I turn around to face the owner of that unmistakable southern drawl, a forced smile on my face. “Hey, Applejack. What brings you around here?”

“You know, grabbing the usual supplies for the farm.”

“Well, good luck with that. I just finished my own shopping run.” I heft up the bag of groceries for emphasis.

“Well, I ain’t gonna hold ya up. Have a Happy Hearth’s Warming, Blake!” Applejack turns and walks off, waving back to me.

Why don’t ya stick the knife in deeper, Applejack? No, really. I didn’t feel it the first couple of times. I wave back, a smile on my face. “You too, Applejack!” Once Applejack is out of sight, I drop my façade and get out of the market as fast as possible.

Getting back home, I place the groceries in the kitchen and check on the ham. Seeing that everything is in order, I head into the living room and go straight for my movie collection. Maybe a good Christmas classic will put me at ease.

“Oh! Can we watch our favorite one first?!”

I laugh. “Of course! What kind of Christmas would this be without watching A Year Without A Santa Claus?”

“What?! No, I was talking about Christmas Vacation!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Why not both?”

“Fine, we can watch both. But only if we watch Christmas Vacation first!”

“Fine.” Firing up the movie, I sit back down on the couch and spend the next couple of hours watching timeless Christmas classics. Occasionally, I head into the kitchen and make sure the ham is cooking properly.

After watching a good three to four movies, I glance at the clock. Hmm, three right on the nose. May as well start the rest of dinner now and get it over with by five. But first, gotta turn on the lights outside! Running out without a coat, which is a mistake I regret, I hastily plug in the lights and rush back to the warmth of indoors.

Shivering slightly, I head into the kitchen and get to work on dinner. I realize that I’ll probably have more than enough leftovers to last me a few days. Eh, one of the cons, or pros if you look at it another way, of being alone. Anyway, since it’s Christmas Eve, that means the traditional meal of ham(Looking as succulent as ever in the oven), mashed and sweet potatoes, corn, and dinner rolls. As I work, I listen to traditional Christmas songs like Christmas in Hollywood, Winter’s Fucked Up, and The Twelve Days of Xmas. Ah, such wonderful Christmas tunes!

“Hey, why don’t you play Let It—?”

“No! No way! For starters, I don’t even have the song! And secondly, I’ve heard enough of that song! Disney needs to take its own advice now and let it go!”

“Okay, fine.”

I sigh. “Look, I’m sorry for snapping like that. I’m just going through a lot right now.”

“Uh, duh! Voice in your head, I kinda get that. It’s cool though. Now, how about we eat before I die of starvation?”

“Uh, you’re a voice in my head. You can’t starve. Besides, what could you possibly eat?”

“Just eat your damn ham and be merry, alright?!”

My stomach growls. “I’d be more inclined to argue with you right now if I wasn’t hungry.”

I sit in silence and eat my dinner, trying my damnedest to not let my mind wander and think. But, alas, this isn’t particularly effective. What was the last thing I said to my parents? Does anybody even know I’m gone? If they do, would they care or even bother looking? And what about all I’ve lost or will never get to see and do again? I sniffle slightly and hang my head. Why me? Why bring me to Equestria? What’s so special about me?

A knocking on the door snaps me back to reality. Shit, can’t let anybody see me like this. Composing myself, I stand up and head for the door. Okay, deep breath. Closing my eyes, I open the door.

“Merry Christmas!” A chorus of voices ring out.

I shudder. No, they didn’t, did they? Slowly opening my eyes, I see the girls, the Apple family (Minus Granny Smith), the CMC, Spike, and Lyra standing there. Most of them have a wrapped gift in their hands. I open and close my mouth a few times. “What?” Is all I manage to say.

“We said Merry Christmas! That is what you say, right?” Twilight asks.

I nod my head. Only one thing is on my mind right now. “Why? Why are you here?”

“Well, um, you just seemed so sad that you wouldn’t be to celebrate Christmas with your family and friends anymore.”

Applejack nods her head. “That’s right. So Shy and I spread the word to celebrate Christmas with ya to everypony here.”

“But don’t you all have families to spend Hearth’s Warming with instead of being here with me?”

“We do. That’s why we’re here, to spend time with our family,” Twilight says.

I feel tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. “You…You consider me family?” Everybody nods their head.

Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Well, duh! Twilight just said that.”

I genuinely smile for the first time today. Every negative emotion seems to slip from my being at the sight of my friends, no, my family before me. They could be anywhere else in the world right now, enjoying time with their own families, yet they chose to be with me, the guy who shouldn’t be here. I… I should have gone to them in the first place instead of bottling my emotions and sulking around.

I look to my right and wipe my eyes on the sleeve of my shirt. Taking a deep breath, I step off to the left and motion for them to come in. “Well, please, come in! And Merry Christmas to you too!”

Everyone eagerly steps inside, tossing coats and jackets off to the side as they head towards the living room. “Blake? Where should we put our gifts?”

I chuckle and shut the door as Pinkie bounds in. “Under the tree, Twilight. It’s the only place they should be right now.” Heading into the living room, I see everybody making themselves comfortable. Fluttershy, who is standing by the entrance to the living room, beckons me over. I walk over to her and ask, “What’s up, Shy?”

She gingerly grabs my hand and pulls me so that we’re standing directly in the center of the entranceway. Turning to me, she asks, “Um, if you don’t mind me asking,” She points up, “What is this plant hanging here for?”

I freeze. Taking a sharp intake of breath, I look up. My breath catches in my throat while my heart does little cheers of joy. The one time, the one time I decide to hang mistletoe and Fluttershy pulls us under it. Either way, the next couple of moments are gonna be hella awkward for us.

“Hey, where’s Flutteshy?” I hear Apple Bloom ask. I look to see everybody looking at us. Scratch that, it’s gonna be awkward for everybody here.

Twilight looks up and cocks her head. “Blake, why is there a plant hanging from your ceiling?”

I chuckle and rub the back of my head as all eyes turn to me. “Well, it’s part of a Christmas tradition that Fluttershy dragged me into.”

“It is? Oh, I’m sorry for doing that.” Fluttershy starts playing with her hands.

“No, it’s nothing to apologize for. You couldn’t have known about it. It’s just that you kinda picked a weird one…”

“Pfft, how weird can it be?” Rainbow asks.

“You’re looking at mistletoe, and… Well… I’m gonna tell Shy what the tradition is before we go any further, okay?” I grab Fluttershy by the shoulders, causing her head to snap up and stare at me. “Listen, what I’m about to tell you, it is entirely up to you if you want to do it or not. If you don’t, that’s fine since I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Well, um, what is the tradition?”

I lean in close to her and whisper in her ear, “When two people stand underneath mistletoe, they must kiss.”

I lean away to see Fluttershy blushing profusely and covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh my.”

I smile and place a hand on her shoulder. “If you don’t want to do it, again, it’s fine with me.” I quickly glance at the rest of the room to see nobody has moved.

“Shy, what did Blake say ta ya?”

“Yeah, what did he say?!” Sweetie Belle asks.

“Sweetie, hush!”

Fluttershy looks back and forth from me to the rest of room. Turning back to me, she plays with a lock of her hair and glances at the ground. “If it’s okay with you, I’d still like to do it.”

I raise an eyebrow. A completely unexpected answer from Fluttershy. “You sure about this? I won’t hold it against you.”

“Well, it’s a tradition in your world and if I’m gonna experience Christmas, I need to follow its traditions.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Alright. So, how should we—” My eyes widen and I throw my hands up as Fluttershy darts in and plants a kiss right on my lips. As quick as she darts in, she backs off and tries to hide her face behind her hair, a blush spreading across her face. I can feel the goofy smile on my face.

“Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!”

“Wooo! Way to go, Shy!” I hear Rainbow cheer.

“So that’s the tradition? Having two ponies kiss when they stand under that plant?” Twilight asks.

I swiftly wipe the smile off my face and turn to Twilight, nodding. “Yeah, that’s exactly the tradition right there.” I notice Spike’s eyes widen as he looks from the mistletoe to Rarity.

“How is kissing another pony a tradition?” Big Mac asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “You’re asking the wrong person, buddy. Never really explored why it is a tradition.” I turn to Fluttershy and place a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you for taking part in this tradition with me.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“Hey, Blake?” I look at Scootaloo, “You got any food to eat? I’m starving.”

“Oh, oh! I brought snacks just in case of a food emergency!” Pinkie reaches behind a chair and pulls out a platter of baked goods, setting them on my coffee table.

I take some deep breaths to calm my screaming mind. “It’s Christmas and I gotta let it go. Let it go.”

“Ha! You still said it!”

I jerk a thumb over my shoulder. “Or, I got plenty of leftovers in the kitchen you can have. Here, let me get some plates and you guys can help yourselves.” I head into the kitchen and grab a stack of plates, setting them on the counter just as everyone starts lining up for some grub.

While everybody does that, I head back into the living room and search for a suitable Christmas movie to watch. Pulling out Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, I fire that up and sit down on the couch as people start filing back into the room, finding an open spot for them to sit.

“Hey, Rarity? Could you come here a second?” I hear Spike ask.

“Is he doing what I think he’s doing?”

I twist around to look over the back of the couch and snicker. Spike is standing directly underneath the mistletoe, with Rarity presumably still in the kitchen since I can’t see her.

“Coming, Spiky-Wikey!” A couple of us snicker at Spike’s nickname. Rarity comes into the room and stands beside Spike. “Yes? What did you need?”

Spike just smirks and points up. Rarity looks up and smirks, shaking her head. “Oh, very well.” She bends down as Spike puckers his lips. However, Rarity kisses him on the cheek. She stands back up and giggles as Spike stands there, dazed and confused.

“Oh, so close!”

“Friendzoned!”

“You the dragon, Spike!” Lyra shouts, nodding her head in approval.

I chuckle as I hear a collective eew from the Crusaders. “Alright, alright, shows over people. Find a spot to get comfortable and prepare yourselves for the movie.” Fluttershy quickly makes her way to my side, sitting down to my left while Lyra sits down to my right. “Alright, everyone set?” Agreement rings out around the room, “Well, sit back and relax then.” Playing the movie, I lean back and fold my arms behind my head.

Rolling along, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, especially Fluttershy, what with the fact of seeing, and I quote, "Cute widdle reindeer." I mean sure, I could have picked a different movie but I at least owe it to Fluttershy for going through the whole mistletoe thing. Hey, as long as she’s happy, I’m happy.

As the movie ends, Rainbow turns to me. “Eh, the movie was great and all, but when do we get to open the gifts?”

“Rainbow Dash! Must you be so crude with your wording?”

“Eeyup.”

“Oh! Oh! When do we open them?! Is it now?! Can it be now?! Please let it be now!” Pinkie is practically vibrating as she moves ever closer to the gifts.

I scratch the back of my head. “Yeah, about that… Gifts aren’t normally opened till tomorrow, on Christmas Day.”

The Crusaders let out awws of defeat. “But, why?” Sweetie asks.

“Well… it’s tradition.”

Lyra slaps me on the back. “Bah, screw tradition! Just open the gifts and enjoy yourself.”

“Now, I don’t think we should pressure Blake into breaking a tradition on his holiday,” Fluttershy says.

Twilight nods her head. “I agree with Fluttershy. This is Blake’s holiday. If he doesn’t want to do the gifts tonight, we can all come back tomorrow, okay?”

I shake my head. “Nah, it’s cool. I can break one tradition tonight. After all, you guys are already here and enjoying yourselves.” I stand up and head over to the presents laid out under the tree. I grab my gifts for Twilight and hand them to her. “For you, Twilight.”

Twilight grabs the package containing her CD and opens it up. She smiles and holds up the CD. “Oh, Neighzart! I don’t have this CD of his yet! How’d you know I like him?”

I smirk. “I have eyes and ears everywhere.” I nod my head towards her second gift. “Go on, you still ain’t done.”

She grabs the second package and opens it. Rainbow rolls her eyes as Twilight holds up the book and examines it. “Sherlock Holmes? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of this book before.”

“That’s because it’s one of my personal books.”

Twilight’s eyes widen. “You’re giving me one of your books?!”

I nod my head. “I had a copy of that one, and figured someone like you would enjoy it as much as I have over the years.”

“I…This…Thank you!” She jumps up and hugs me.

I laugh and pat her on the back. “Geeze, Twilight, calm down. It’s just a book. It’s not like I made you royalty or something.” She blushes and rubs the back of her head, sitting back down as I grab another gift. “Miss Rarity, an item for you.” I hand Rarity her gift.

Rarity carefully removes the paper, making sure to not rip and tear into it. Gingerly placing the paper to the side, she opens the box and gasps in surprise, pulling out a pair of stud earrings with a ruby as the tip of the stud. “These are beautiful! I simply must try these on!” I expected this reaction so I already have a hand mirror stashed near the tree. She grabs it in her magic and hovers in it front of her face. After inserting the studs, she inspects herself in the mirror. “Thank you, Blake!”

“You’re quite welcome. Now,” I turn to Rainbow, “Rainbow, I didn’t wrap your gift.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, that’s cool,” She smirks, “Heh, probably too big to wrap anyway.”

“Actually, it wasn’t worth wrapping such a tiny object in paper. Still, it’s gonna dominate your entire world right now.” I reach into my back pocket and pull out two tickets and hand them to her.

She snatches the tickets out of my hand. “Two tickets to see the Wonderbolts?! And box seats?! This is awesome! How’d you get these, their show’s been sold out for weeks?!”

Truthfully, I got them from Spitfire for free with one tiny, but important, stipulation. “I have my connections. But these tickets come with a price.”

“Whatever it is, name it!”

I point to Scootaloo. “You have to take Scoots with when you go.”

“Really?!” Scootaloo shouts. I nod my head, causing her to jump up and hug me. “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!”

I pat her head as she lets go of me and retakes her seat. “Now promise me you’ll both enjoy the show,” They both vigorously nod their heads. “Good, on to the next gift.” I grab a wrapped box and hold it up. “And this is for Pinkie.”

A pink blur and a second later, the box is no longer in my hands, but with Pinkie at her seat. She picks up the box and shakes it, smiling at the sound of rattling objects inside. “Ooooh, I wonder what’s in here!” She tears into the wrapping paper, scattering it around here. Opening the box, she gasps. “Baking utensils?!” She pulls out one, a wire whisk. “And they have my Cutie Mark on them! Oh, this is a great gift, Blake! Thank you so much!”

“No problem, Pinkie. Now,” I bend down and grab three flat, rectangular packages, giving one to each Crusader, “Any true club needs a logo or symbol to rally behind.”

The Crusaders rip apart the paper, revealing three red capes with gold silk on the inside, the Crusader logo (Modified to fit the fact that they’re anthro.) proudly displayed on the back. Thankfully, I was able to pay Rarity for designing these on such short notice. “Oooh, pretty!” Sweetie stares in awe at the gold silk.

“This’ll look awesome when I’m riding my scooter!”

“Come on, girls! Let’s try em on!” The Crusaders spring into action at Apple Bloom’s words, quickly tying the capes around their necks and striking a pose.

I clap my hands at their display, everyone else joining in. Once the excitement of the Crusaders dies down, I reach down and grab the last gift, being careful not to jostle it too much lest it make noise. “And last but not least, Fluttershy.” Handing it to her, I turn to Spike, Lyra, and Mac. “Sorry, guys, but I really didn’t know what you guys wanted and frankly, getting anything else would have made me broke.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it. You more than made up for it with being in the band,” Lyra says, Spike and Mac nodding.

“Thanks for understanding guys.” I turn back to Fluttershy and see her sitting there with the gift in her lap. I raise an eyebrow. “Well, aren’t you going to open it?”

“Um, I wanted to wait until you were finished speaking. Are you?” I nod my head. “Okay, here I go.” She gingerly pulls apart the paper, revealing a brown box underneath. Opening that, she pulls out a wind chime, its bright metallic sheen accentuated by the central focal point of three pink butterflies at the top. Fluttershy gasps. “Oh my. This is beautiful!” Carefully placing it back in the box, she stands up and hugs me. “Thank you.”

I return the hug. “You’re very welcome.”

“Alright, alright, sit back down. We still gotta give you your gifts!” Rainbow Dash says.

I chuckle and sit back down on the couch. “Alright, lay it on me.”

“Oh! Can we go first? Please?” Sweetie says, her lower lip out like she’s pouting and her eyes wide. So. Freaking. Cute!

“I don’t see why not, right, everypony?” Twilight says, earning nods from everyone.

“Yes! Alright girls, like we practiced!” The Crusaders jump up and stand at attention right in front of me, the most stoic expressions on their face. Apple Bloom, directly in front of me, clears her throat. “Co-President Sweetie Belle, the scroll please.”

“Right away, President Apple Bloom.” Sweetie, to Apple Blooms left, reaches into a pocket and pulls out a scroll, handing it to Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom unrolls the scroll and reads aloud. “We, The Cutie Mark Crusaders, hereby call ta order this meeting ta decide whether or not Blake Quinter is worthy of being a called ah Crusader. Blake, do you have your Cutie Mark?”

I smirk. “Nay, President Bloom. I have yet to experience the thrill of receiving one.”

“And who can vouch for this?”

“I can,” Scootaloo says.

“As can I,” Sweetie says.

“Then by the power vested in us, we hereby decree Blake Quinter ta be an official Cutie Mark Crusader!”

Everybody claps their hands. I’m impressed with the whole formal routine alone. “Why, thank you, fellow Crusaders, for allowing me to join your ranks. Which now means that I’ll need another cape from Rarity.”

“Oh, I’m sure I can find the time to create one more cape for the newest member of the Crusaders.” Rarity smirks as the Crusaders sit back down.

“We’re never going to live this down, are we?”

“Not a chance.”

“Alright, we’ll go next,” Spike says.

I raise an eyebrow. “We? As in, the band?”

“Eeyup.”

“We all pitched in and got you something,” Lyra says as her horn glows, “Now close your eyes and hold your hands out.” I do as instructed. Something heavy lands along the length of my outstretched hands, leaving me to wonder what it could possibly be. “Alright, open your eyes.”

I open my eyes, my mouth open wide at the sight of the item in my hands. “You guys got me a guitar?!”

“Well, yeah. You only needed once since joining the band,” Spike says.

I admire the guitar. It looks simply amazing with its jet black paint job, with two blue racing stripes down the center, and the mahogany neck. “I…This… Thank you! Now I need to get you guys something, anything, to make up for this!”

“Don’t just stand there looking at it! Play something!” Pinkie says.

I stand up. Hmm… What riff to play? Ah, I got the perfect one. I tune the guitar, wanting its first play to be perfect. All eyes are on me as I take a deep breath, smirking the entire time. I immediately jump into the intro for Natural Born Killer. I finish to the sounds of clapping. I take a bow. “Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.” I stand the guitar up by the tree and sit back down. “So, who’s next?”

“I’ll go!” Pinkie grabs a package and thrusts it into my hands. “Betcha can’t guess who this is from!”

I roll my eyes and laugh. Opening the package, I pull out a book. “A recipe book?” I flip through a couple of pages, noticing that all the recipes have one thing in common. “Are all these recipes for pastries or sweets?”

Pinkie nods her head. “Yeppers! I collected every recipe that I was legally allowed to get and placed them all in a book just for you!”

“Legally allowed to get? What kind of recipes are illegal around here?”

I pause at a page describing how to make lemon meringue pie. I smile and shut the book. “Thank you, Pinkie. I’ll get to work on making some of these tomorrow.”

“Alright! My turn.” Rainbow tosses me a package.

Grabbing it, I open it and smirk. Typical Rainbow Dash. “A signed picture of yourself. I’ll be sure to hang it in its place of honor. Thank you.”

Rainbow smirks and rubs a hand on her chest. “Heh, knew you’d like it.”

“Um, I’d like to go next if it’s okay with everypony else?” Nobody objects to Fluttershy. She doesn’t hand me a package or anything, just turns and says, “Come to my cottage and pick out any creature you want as a pet, if you want to.”

I nod my head. “Thank you for the offer and yes, I’ll drop by one day and get a pet.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widen. “You will?! Oh, I’ll help you pick out the perfect pet for somepony like you!”

“I’m sure you will, Shy. Alright, who’s up next?”

Applejack clears her throat. “Well, ya see, yer gift from the Apples ain’t here yet.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh? And what would it be that I’m waiting on?”

“Mah cousin out in Fillydelphia, along with farming, makes furniture in his spare time. We ordered from him ah new kitchen table and chairs for ya.”

I smirk. “And let me guess. He’s making it all out of Applewood trees?”

Applejack smirks. “How’d ya know?” Everybody laughs at that.

“Well, I’m a patient man. Thank you in advance.”

Applejack tips her hat. “Yer welcome.”

Twilight’s horn glows and a package is wrapped in her magical aura. She deposits it in my lap. “I know it isn’t much, but I hope you like it.”

Tearing away the paper, I lift up the bundle of books. I glance at the spine of each. “Thanks for the Daring Do books, Twi.” I set them on the ground and turn to Rarity. “And last but not least, Rarity.”

Rarity hands me a couple of packages. “Yes, well, I’ve been studying your wardrobe based on what you normally wear. As such, I created an ensemble that I believe will look simply divine on you.”

I open the first package and pull out a pair of dark blue jeans. Surprisingly, it’s very lightweight and doesn’t seem very form fitting, but that exactly how I like em. I place the jeans to the side and move on to the second package. Opening it, I pull out a black long sleeve. My eyes go wide as my attention is drawn right to the central design she stitched on it, a large cross with blue inlay and runic drawings on it. In the top right and top left sections of the cross are two skulls, each biting down on an arm of the cross. Jutting out from behind the cross are two large white pegasi wings, the tips of them reaching all the way up to the shoulders of the shirt.

“Now that is cool looking!”

“And she thought of this from only seeing what I wore a few times?! Damn!”

“Do you like it?” Rarity asks.

“No, I don’t like it,” Rarity frowns and looks ashamed. “I love it! Thank you!”

Rarity smiles and claps her hands. “Oh, I just knew you’d love it!”

Twilight clears her throat. “Now, we have one more gift for you, from all of us.” She motions with her hand to the girls.

I raise an eyebrow. “Really now, you didn’t have to get this much for me.”

“Nonsense, dear. After all you’ve done for us and been there with us, we want you to have this.”

“And what is this exactly?”

“Well, you gotta find it first! When you weren’t looking, I hid it somewhere in the room for you to find! It’s like a giant game of hide and seek with your gift!”

I rub my chin and look around the room, mumbling to myself. If I was Pinkie, where would I hide something? As my eyes glance over the tree, a slight gleam from a foreign object near the top draws my attention. Standing up, I head over and grab the object, holding it in my hands as I turn around. It’s a long golden chain with a glistening white gem in the shape of a hand hanging from it. “An Element necklace?” I look up and see everybody smiling.

Twilight nods her head. “In a purely decorative sense, yes. It has no real connection to the Elements themselves.”

“But… Why an Element necklace?” I shake my head. “No, don’t answer that. I’m just ecstatic that you all consider me part of the Elements to get me a necklace of my own!” I catch each of the girls looking at each other, but only for the briefest of moments before looking back at me.

“Well don’t just stand there! Try it on!” Rainbow says.

I swiftly put the necklace on, letting in dangle in front of my shirt. I hold up the gem, looking at its glowing sheen. I smile and hold my hands out. “Ah, come here everybody! I gotta give you all a hug now, and thank you for spending Christmas with me!”

I hear a sigh. “Look, I’m sorry for this, but they’ve called a meeting and want you there now.”

“What?”

Before I can react, a dark portal opens underneath me. Three pure white pillars arched to a point come up, the points forming above me. Walls form in the gaps between the arches, leaving me trapped. Everything is blindingly white, save for the view to outside I have due to a window reaching to the ground right in front of me. I lean forward and place my hands on the window, looking out at all my friends staring at the pod in shock. I ball my hand into a fist and pound on the window, increasing my force with each hit.

“Let me the fuck out!” I scream as I resort to using my elbow to try and break the window. By now, everybody outside is panicking. Rainbow, Mac, and Applejack are trying to break through on their side of the pod. “What the fuck is going on?!” I resort to kicking the window now.

“Again, I’m sorry. I tried stalling for time, even bargaining with them, but they want to see you now since your catalyst has been acquired.”

“Who the hell is they?!” Mac, Rainbow, and Applejack step aside as Twilight moves in front of the pod. Her horn glows and a beam of magic fires out, striking the window. Sadly, the window just seems to absorb the magic.

“They— I’m sorry, but they want to tell you in person.”

“No! I want to know whose asses I’m gonna kick when I get out of here. Whoever did this ruined my Christmas with my friends and family and is going to pay!”

I hear a hissing sound. I start coughing horribly. My vision becomes hazy, my entire body feeling drowsy. I feel to my hands and knees, one hand clutching the gem on the necklace. I crawl forward and place my hand on the window. It’s hard to tell, but I think I see a hand press back on the other side. I can’t fight it anymore. My hand slowly slides down the window as my vision goes black. Right before I fully black out, I hear someone scream my name.

A Meeting Of The Minds

“Permanent Vacation”

A Meeting Of The Minds

I groggily come to, rubbing my head as my eyes flutter open. I groan and let my hand fall to the cold surface I’m on. Looking directly forward, I see nothing but darkness, save for a glow from around me. Time to find out where I am. Pushing myself into a sitting position, I look around me. Again, nothing. Looking down, I see I’m sitting in the middle of a white light. Standing up, I crack my neck and stretch my back, hearing joints pop. Last thing I remember is Christmas…

“Hello? Can anybody hear me?! Hello?!” My voice echoes throughout the void. There’s a bright flash to my left. I spin towards it and raise my fists, ready for a fight. Floating in another white light is my necklace. I lower my fists. “Am I supposed to grab my necklace?” No response. I glance at the darkness between my necklace and me. I tentatively reach out with one foot and hover it over the darkness. Slowly lowering it, the glow around me extends out to under my foot. I test this again, seeing that the glow moves with me. Feeling confident now, I head towards my necklace, the only sound being the echoes of my footsteps. I snatch the necklace from the light and put it on.

Immediately, the glow beneath me brightens to the point that I have to shield my eyes. Slowly lowering my hands, I look around to see the glow be replaced with a huge stained glass pillar. I look around and notice the design on it. To my left, the glass is midnight blue with an image of Luna, eyes closed and wings spread, superimposed in the center. To my right, the glass is a radiant white with an image of Celestia in the same pose as Luna. I look down and see that I’m standing in a circle right in the center of the pillar where the two halves meet. Looking back up and forward, I see six circles, three on each half, start to glow a different color.

Colored balls of light rise up from the circles and hover there. I raise my hands and spread my legs, ready to fight or flee. “Welcome, Blake Quinter,” One of the balls, the magenta one, says, pulsing with each word in a monotone voice devoid of any emotion.

I raise an eyebrow. “What are you and how do you know my name?”

This time the orange ball speaks. “We know many things, Blake. As for us, you should already know who we are.” Seems like all the balls have the same monotone voice.

I drop out of my combat stance and glance at my surroundings. Hmm, six balls, each a different color… “Can I safely assume you are the Elements of Harmony?”

“Correct!” The blue ball yells with cheer. Okay, scratch that monotone voice thing.

I cross my arms and nod my head. “Okay, so you’re the Elements of Harmony. The same Elements that brought me to Equestria,” I can’t keep the anger out of my voice as I point at each Element, “The same Elements that stranded me in a foreign land. The same Elements that took everything from me! The same ones that couldn’t fucking wait to hold a goddamn meeting until after my Christmas with my friends and family! Well, I’m here now, so what was so important that it couldn’t wait a few more hours!”

“And we are sorry for that. If we could have waited, we would have,” The pink ball, Kindness says.

“We will explain everything, and much more. To do so, we must start from the beginning,” The purple ball, Generosity, says.

“Oh, it better explain everything.”

“As you know, we are the protectors of harmony throughout the land, bringing purity and light to everything. There are forces out there, however, that wish to see our influence destroyed.”

“Hate to interrupt, Magic, but how does this involve me? The guy you plucked from his life?”

“I am getting to that. We can only act through the bearers when they’re wearing their necklaces. We needed someone, or something, to watch over our bearers. We needed an elemental guard, able to uphold our values and spread harmony throughout the land, yet be willing to protect the bearers from danger. As such, we started picking individuals from the past to bring here and fight for us.”

Something clicks in my brain at that last sentence. “Wait… You said from the past.” My eyes widen. “Does that mean…?”

Honesty bounces up and down in what I can only assume to be a nod. “You have never left Earth. Equestria is the future of the Earth.”

I open and close my mouth a few times. “How? How did it get like this? Why did it get like this? It raises so many questions?!”

Laughters giggles. “You know how you never push the big red button?” I nod my head. “Well, somebody didn’t know that and did it anyway. Then a bunch of others pushed their red buttons!”

My eyes go wide and I gulp. “So…?”

“Kaboom,” Generosity says.

I sink to the ground in despair. How did it get that bad? How many lives were ended in an instant? How many things were left unsaid? I look up at the Elements. “How did Earth get like this?”

“Centuries of waiting for life to begin anew. We intervened only when necessary to continue with the process,” Kindness says.

“But…But… Magic! Ponies! How?!”

“The radiation from the fallout was so high that it still lingers to this day in every creature and plant, creating the source for the magic of Equestria. The plants adapted to this and started producing their own radiation while the creatures evolved to make use of this new power, creating the pony species.”

I shake my head. “Are you telling me that during my entire time here, I’ve been walking through radiation?!” Magic bounces up and down. “How the hell am I still alive then?!”

“The harmful effects of the radiation died off thanks to the plant life. Now, only the raw power and energy of magic abound within the world with no ill effects,” Loyalty says.

Good enough answer for me. Sighing, I stand back up and cross my arms. “Fine, Equestria was born from the ruins of nuclear fallout. That doesn’t explain why I was brought here for your bodyguard service. I’m sure there are better people than me!”

“You’re right, there are far more suitable candidates than you,” Honesty says.

“See?! So where are these other candidates, huh?! Show me them! And tell me it isn’t the guards of Equestria!”

Magic sighs. “We can’t. Not anymore.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“You aren’t the first person to come to Equestria. The one now known as Starswirl was our first test subject and proved to be a massive success. However, he was the only one before you. Others that came through often came as abominations, twisted creatures, or shattered souls. Others more often than not came as the pony species with their memories erased. You are the last soul we were willing to try bringing here.”

“So I’m just a lucky break then?”

“Yeppers!”

I nod my head. “Okay, but what qualities do I possess for your now dead bodyguard service? What made me stand out from the millions of others? Cause I’m not the kind of guy suited for bodyguard service.”

“We never checked. We got desperate and picked a random individual, along with most of their possessions, to bring before something happened to our bearers. You’ve seen them. They can hold their own, but for how long against a superior foe?” Kindness says.

“But look at me! What makes me any better?”

“After we brought you to Equestria, we noticed that you are in fact what we need. You uphold our values. Even if you don’t see it, we do,” Loyalty says.

“Then you should know that I’m not a fighter, which comes with the job of being a bodyguard.”

“Oh? Then what was that you did when you saved Apple Bloom from those Timberwolves? Or how about when you fought Gilda?”

I jab my finger at Honesty. “That was different! I wasn’t just going out to pick a fight with them! I was doing it because I needed to! I was doing it to… Protect… My… Friends.” I let my finger fall as I contemplate what I just said.

Honesty bounces up and down. “Exactly. You didn’t stop to think of the danger you were putting yourself into. You acted in the defense of your friends, even when the odds were against you.”

“Deep down, you know you are a fighter, but you’re afraid to let the part of you out in fear of being unable to control it,” Magic says.

They do have a point… I shake my head and cross my arms. “Point taken, but what if I refuse to this? What if I don’t want to be part of this 'white hand' of justice?”

“Please. Think of your friends and family, and what they stand to lose. Their own families and friends lost forever to them. Please, if not for us, do it for them,” Generosity says.

I close my eyes and think. They’re right again. But, what’ll happen if I do this? What if my desire to fight overpowers me? Will I able to control myself before I hurt them? Will there be a repeat of the Gilda incident? For some reason, I remember a scene from The Simpsons.

No, it’s do it for them. My friends are what kept me going with my transition from Earth to, well, Equestrian Earth. I clench my fists. They’ve been there for me every step of the way. It’s time I returned the favor and be there for them. I can’t lose them. I won’t lose them. I nod my head. “Alright, you got yourself a deal. I’ll be your protector of the Elements.”

“Yes! I knew you’d come around!”

“Please excuse Laughter. Now, any good warrior is defined by their weapon. As such, we have the ability to grant you any weapon, or weapons, in existence in your quest to protect the bearers. Decide on your weapons now,” Magic says.

“And how am I supposed to contact you with these requisition orders?”

“Our contact will send us the blueprints for what you what and we’ll send it back to you.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Contact?”

A small white ball pops out of the ground in front of me, hovering in front of my face. “Hey, miss me? Don’t answer that, I already know what you’re thinking.”

That voice… It sounds like my voice. “Are you the voice in my head?”

“Well, yeah!”

“After your arrival, we got to work on creating a way for you to contact us. The answer was to create a magical construct with a fraction of our power and link it directly to your brain. Through this, you are able to contact us by simply thinking about it. The construct will send the thoughts to us,” Loyalty says.

I follow the ball with my eyes as it lazily floats around my head. “Is this why you sound and act like me?”

“Righto!”

I chuckle. “I always wanted my own Cortana. Alright, what should I call you then?” The ball stops in front of me as I think. “How about Agent?”

“I like that! Agent, the voice of the Agency. Or in this case, the voice of the Elements.”

“Good, cause that’s what I’m calling you even if you didn’t like it. Now get back in my head.” Agent obeys and charges at my face, disappearing before making contact.

“Ah, home sweet home. So good to… Dammit! I left the oven on!”

I nod my head. “Now, if our business is concluded, I’d like to leave here. I’ll get Agent to send along my first weapon set. You know what I want, right, Agent?”

“Pulling the info now and sending it as we speak.”

“Very well then.” A white portal appears to the left of me. “Again, thank you for protecting us,” Generosity says.

“Now go, Blake Quinter, and protect harmony throughout the land.”

I nod my head and face the portal. Taking a deep breath, I dive in to the blinding whiteness.

“We’re going on an adventure!”

As the light clears away, I hear a whistling sound and blink my eyes, only to throw my hands over my face as something white rushes towards me. Feeling nothing, I move my hands and scream. “Why am I falling from the sky?!”

“Okay, let me give you the rundown from the Elements. Kindness is apologizing left and right, Magic is swearing the calculations were right, Loyalty is saying Magic forgot to carry the two, Generosity is worried about your safety, Honesty is calming down Generosity, and Laughter is saying flap your arms like a bird to fly.”

“They better get this fixed for the next time! How do you forget to carry a two?! Don’t they double check the math?! They should have let me check it!”

“I think you have bigger problems right now. Namely, the rapidly approaching ground.”

I look down to see a crowd of ponies standing on a hill overlooking Ponyville. How am I supposed to get their attention!

“Relax, Generosity is subtly informing Rarity to look up.”

I frail my arms around, trying to get Rarity to notice me. Come on, come on! The ground is getting closer! A rainbow streak shoots up from the ground. Thank God! My saving grace is going to be… Rainbow… Dash… I’m going to die. I hold my hands out for her to grab me, but she completely overshoots me! “Some help you are!” I yell at her retreating form.

As I near the ground, I hear the sound of screams from the assembled crowd over the wind rushing past my ears. Something grabs my hands, jerking me into a vertical position. I look up and see Rainbow Dash holding my hands, her wings beating as she struggles to keep us aloft. “Hey, how’s it hanging?” She grunts out.

I laugh. “Don’t you fucking drop me!” We slowly descend towards the ground as ponies cheer at my apparent safety.

“I ain’t gonna do that!” She closes her eyes and looks up, sweat running down her face.

“George, George, George of the jungle, watch out for that tree!”

Wait, what? I look forward and see that we’re heading straight towards a tree. “Uh, Dash? I changed my mind. You can drop me now.”

“I’m not doing that!”

“Rainbow, you can drop me right now,” I put a little more emphasis into my words. At this height, I can safely drop to the ground below.

“I’m not dropping you!”

I start trying to shake myself free of her grasp. “Rainbow, there’s a fucking tree in front of us!”

“Huh?” She opens her eyes and looks. “Woah!” She lets me go and veers away from the tree.

I plummet towards the ground. As soon as my feet touch, I tuck and roll. Before I go too far, I plant my hand on the ground and dig my feet into the dirt. I slide before coming to a complete stop. Glancing behind me, I’m glad I did since the tree is right behind me. Standing up, I pump my fist in the air and cheer, knocking on the tree too. “Yes, I’m alive! Oh, I could kiss the ground if it wasn’t so dirty!”

“Blake!” Before I can react, I’m wrapped in a sea of hugs from the girls.

They break off from the hug and step back as the crowd of ponies gathers around for my return. “Blake! Where have you been?” Twilight asks.

“The Elements wish for their nature to remain a secret at this time.”

I shrug my shoulders. “I’m not sure really. If I had to venture a guess, I don’t think I was on the planet anymore. But that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that I’m back and ain’t leaving!”

“The items you requested are finished and being sent to you now. Care to do a test run with them?”

“Sure. Where are they?” At this, I feel something fall into both of my pockets and something on my left wrist.

“Your knife and disguise kit are in your left and right pocket, the Cloak and Dagger is on your wrist, and the Diamondback is holstered on your right hip. All knowledge on operation has been mentally recorded. You should be able to operate these without even thinking about it. I recommend testing the watch first.”

I roll back my left sleeve and see the ever popular Cloak and Dagger on my wrist. I press a button on the side and see my arm slowly fade from view. “Oh no, not this again!” Once I disappear completely, I rush off to the side to avoid the girls rushing to where I was.

“Where did he go?!” Twilight frantically searches the area, her horn aglow the entire time. “I can’t find him, even with that advanced detection spell the Princess taught me!”

The girls and the crowd start calling out for me as I process this information. Seems I’m invisible to even magic when like this. Avoiding the crowd, I make my way to the back, pulling out my disguise kit (Disguised as a cigarette case) once there. It looks exactly like it should, save for the addition of the red button on the left half of the case. “What’s the button for?”

“The Elements adapted your original design to this. That button will scan the area and will create a mask of every person it scans, storing it in the case’s memory. Try it now.”

I push the button, expecting some noise to give my position away. Instead, a list of names and a little display of what the disguise looks like appears on the screen on the right half of the case. “Neat!”

“Tap the screen and the mask will dispense from the bottom of the case.”

Who to choose, who to choose… Ah, Scootaloo! She should be easy to impersonate! Tapping her name, a paper cutout mask pops out from a slot on the bottom of the case with her face on it, a small string attached so I can put it on. Slipping it on, I get a strange cooling sensation throughout my body. Slipping the kit back into my pocket, I glance around to make sure nobody is looking in my direction. Well, here goes nothing.

I push the button on the side of the Cloak and Dagger. Once I’m completely visible again, I run towards the crowd, pushing my way through them towards the tree. I break on through and run right up to Rainbow. “That was awesome, Rainbow Dash! You saved Blake from falling from the sky!” I say in Scootaloo’s voice. I look around the area and frown.

“Already know what you’re thinking. Yes, your facial expressions will be mimicked by the disguise. If you don’t want the disguise to express or move when you do, just think about it not happening.”

“Say, where is Blake?” I look back at Rainbow.

“We don’t know, Squirt! One minute, he was there,” She points in front of the tree, “Then the next, he disappears!”

“Oh, I hope he’s alright,” Fluttershy says.

“I’m sure he’s fine, Shy, but ah can’t figure out where he went.”

“Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!” All eyes turn as the Crusaders push their way through the crowd, Scootaloo leading the way. “That was awesome the way you saved…” Scootaloo's words die in her throat as she spots me.

We glare at each other as everybody turns to us. We both point at each other. “Who are you?!”

“Why, they look and sound exactly the same!” Rarity says.

“Then how do we tell which one in the real Scootaloo? Twilight asks.

“Duh, Twilight! Do a magical spell and figure out which one is the real Scootaloo!”

“I don’t know of any spell like that, Pinkie. Maybe the Princesses do though.”

Rainbow throws her hands up. “Well, how do we figure out the real Scootaloo then?”

Scootaloo and I turn to Rainbow. “Come on, Rainbow Dash! Don’t you recognize me, your biggest fan?”

Rainbow looks between us. “I can’t tell the difference!” I pull out the disguise kit and quickly swipe through my list of disguises, my finger hovering over Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo points at me while still looking at Rainbow. “She’s the fake! Can’t you all see that?!”

I tap the disguise while all attention is focused on Scootaloo. Quickly putting the mask on, my current disguise seems to be absorbed by the new disguise, effectively overriding the current mask. Okay, different pony, different mindset. “Ah come on, Scoots! Can’t ya tell yer fellow Crusaders apart?”

Scootaloo glances over at me, doing a double take as her mind registers what she sees. All eyes turn to me as everybody takes a step back. “But… But… How?! That’s impossible! Another Scootaloo was there a second ago!” Twilight grips her hair in frustration.

I swipe through my disguises again, stopping at Sweetie Belle. Tapping it, I put the resulting disguise on. “Uh, no? I’ve always been standing here, Twilight.”

“Just what in the hay is going on here?!”

Alright, I had my fun. Reaching up, I take the mask off and crumple it up, the cooling sensation disappearing. I shrug my shoulders as everybody stares, mouths wide open. I smirk. “Why, it’s a simple acting demonstration, Applejack.”

Nobody moves for a little bit. Rarity is the first to recover. Closing her mouth, she sighs and walks right up to me, where she proceeds to slap my face. “Don’t you ever scare us like that again!”

I rub my cheek and groan. “Okay, I deserve that.”

Rainbow flies up and pokes me in the chest. “What in the hell were you thinking?”

I put my hands up and take a step back. “Woah, woah, easy there tiger. First, let’s deal with the crowd.” I turn to the crowd. “Alright everybody, get on out of here. I’m back and not leaving for a long time. Go home and enjoy today.” The crowd shuffles towards Ponyville, leaving the girls and me the only ones left, much to the chagrin of the Crusaders. I walk towards the tree and sit down, leaning back against it. “Come. I’ll explain everything.”

Pinkie pulls a folded blanket out of her hair, laying it on the ground for everyone. Once everyone is settled, Twilight asks, “So, you have no idea where you went?” I nod my head. “Do you know for how long you were gone?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Not sure, but a couple of hours at most. Why?” I glance around and notice something off. “Hey, where’s all the snow at?”

Everybody glances at each other. “Um, Blake? Please don’t get mad, but… You’ve been gone for two months now.”

“So that’s where that two went.” I feel my eye twitch. Two… Fucking… Months. “Yeah, sorry about that. Like I said, Magic screwed up the spell.”

I take a deep breath and smile. “Excuse me for a moment.” Reaching into my pocket, I pull out a Balisong knife, also known as a butterfly knife. I twirl it around like the Spy does to open it. Holding it in my right hand, I repeatedly jam it into the tree, shouting why each time. My heart is pounding as I jam the knife one final time into the tree. Folding the knife back up, I put it back in my pocket and turn back to the girls. “I’m good now. Please, tell me what happened after I left.”

“After your disappearance, we looked everywhere for you,” Rarity says.

Twilight nods her head. “I even searched for you with my magic using a locator spell. When I didn’t find anything, I thought it was because my magic wasn’t strong enough, so I asked the Princesses to try it too. Again, they didn’t find anything.”

“We spent weeks looking for ya. Eventually, we had ta call off the search.”

Fluttershy sniffles. “We…We thought you were gone forever.”

I lean towards her and pull her into a hug. “I’m here now, and I promise each and every one of you that I will never leave you like that again.” I pull out of the hug and see a content smile on Fluttershy’s face.

“We’ve been taking care of your house while you were gone! And I Pinkie promise that I didn’t throw any house parties while you were away!”

I nod my head. “And I assume that you each stayed there in hopes that I would return, seeing as that is where I left?”

Twilight nods her head. “You’re right. I don’t think any of us were expecting you to appear after the Winter Wrap Up.”

My eyes linger on Twilight. Something seems different about her. “Did your manners disappear as well, Blake? It is impolite to stare at a lady,” Rarity says.

I glance at each girl and notice all of them wearing different clothes then when I first met them. “Did all of you get new clothes?”

Rarity coughs into her hand. “Um, yes. I hope you don’t mind, dearie, but I was in a creative slump. I assumed you wouldn’t mind if I based my new designs off your clothes.”

“Great. You’re now the proto hipster of Equestria. What have you done?”

I wave my hand at her. “Nah, it’s cool.”

“Alright, you’re caught up. Now tell us how you disappeared and looked like the Crusaders!”

“I’m curious as to how you did that, Blake. Not even my magic could find you!”

I chuckle. “All thanks to a few gifts I got when I was gone. Again, sorry for scaring you all again, but I needed to test these devices as soon as possible.” I roll back my sleeve and hold my arm out. “See this watch? This is called the Cloak and Dagger. It allows me to go invisible for as long as I want, with the exception that once the charge dies, I will be slightly visible to everyone. Also, if I touch anyone, I can be seen.”

“How does that battery in that thing recharge then?” Applejack asks.

“It’s a self-sustaining battery. As long as I don’t move, the battery will recharge itself while I’m invisible. It will also recharge when not in use.”

Twilight leans in for a closer look. “Fascinating.”

“Care for a demonstration?” Everybody nods. “Okay then.” I press the button on the watch and stand up, walking behind Pinkie. I lean down and hover my arms near her sides. My arms dart in and I tickle her. I keep up the assault as I look towards everybody else to see them staring at me. Stopping, I uncloak and step back.

“Okay, so that watch is what turned you invisible and blocked you from my magic. How were you able to look and sound like the Crusaders?” Twilight asks.

I pull out the disguise kit and open it up, holding it out so they can see it. “This is the Spytron Three Thousand, which gives me disguises that I can put on. For example,” I tap the Twilight icon on the screen and hold the resulting mask out for them to see, “I’ll look and sound like Twilight after putting this on.”

Rainbow laughs at me. “That thing?! That paper mask is going to completely disguise you?!”

“Ah gotta agree with Dash on this one. Sorry, Blake, but I just don’t buy it that ah paper mask can do all that.”

I shrug my shoulders and put the mask on, giving it a second to take effect and for Dash to stop laughing. I clear my throat. “Good afternoon. My name is Twilight Sparkle.”

Applejack scratches her head. “Well, can’t argue with that.”

“Oh, Oh! Do me now!”

“Okay.” I tap Pinkie’s icon and put her mask on. “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you!” I get right in Pinkie’s face. “Are you surprised cause I’ll be surprised if you’re not surprised and then we can both be surprised except I’d need to grow wings to be called Surprise but then I could throw another party for changing race and—” I gasp for air and step back. “Okay, definitely not disguising as Pinkie often.”

“Alright hot shot. If you’re such a good actor, then do me!”

“Take her up on that offer!”

Smirking, I tap Rainbow’s icon and put her mask on. I jerk a thumb towards me. “Rainbow Dash’s the name and speed’s my game! I’m the fastest mare alive to ever come out of Cloudsdale!”

Rainbow chuckles. “Yeah, that sounds like me.”

“And if you’ll allow me to break character for a moment,” I clear my throat, “The square root of five hundred twenty six is twenty three point three six six six four two eight nine one zero nine.”

Twilight stands there with her mouth wide open. “I never thought I’d hear Rainbow Dash answer a math problem correctly.”

“Hey!” Everyone snickers .

Fluttershy raises her hand. “Um, I have a question if nopony else has one.” She looks around to see no one objecting to her. “Can you fly with those wings right now?”

I shake my head. “Nah, they’re just for decorative purposes. Same thing goes for magic. If I don’t have them when I’m not disguised, then I can’t use them when disguised.”

“Anypony else ya want ta try?”

I shake my head, taking the mask off. Crumpling it up, I wonder how to properly dispose of this so nobody else gets their hands on it.

“The mask will dissolve back into the case so you don’t have to worry about cleanup.”

I shove the destroyed mask in my pocket. Rarity points at my right hip. “What’s that?”

I look to see what she’s pointing at. Taking the revolver out of its holster, I hold it up for them all to see, glancing at it to make sure the safety is on. “This is the Diamondback, a weapon that allows me to fight from range. Think of it as a modern version of a crossbow or bow and arrow.”

Twilight stares at the Diamondback. “How does it work exactly?”

My thumb slightly moves down the grip, catching on a little lip that slides down. This causes the cylinder to slide out. “Inside this cylinder are six bullets, which means I can fire this six times before I need to insert six more rounds.” I flick my wrist to the right so the cylinder falls back into place, a click sound signaling that it was returned properly. “Each time I pull this trigger, a hammer strikes the back of a bullet at a mini firing pin, creating a tiny explosion that propels the bullet out the end of the barrel at high velocities. After each pull, the cylinder spins to position the next bullet for firing.”

“Beside all the egghead stuff, that sounds cool! Can we see it in action?” Rainbow asks.

I shake my head. I really don’t want them to see this in action any sooner than need be. “Sorry, but I’m not testing this one in front of anyone just yet.”

“Why not?!”

“Rainbow, as much as I hate to say it, you’ll see it in action eventually. Besides, I feel confident enough with it.” While I don’t own a gun, I have fired plenty of them to feel confident in my abilities to properly operate one.

Applejack puts her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “Let it go, Dash. If’n he doesn’t wanna show us, then ah say we shouldn’t pressure him.”

Rainbow cross her arms and huffs. “Fine. But you’ll show us later, right?”

I look towards Ponyville and sigh, thinking about what me having this weapon now means. “Yeah, Rainbow. You’ll get to see it later.”

“Awesome!” I chuckle slightly at her enthusiasm. But how long will that last after she sees what it does, the death I can now cause?

I shake my head. “I’ll talk to you all later. Right now, I need to head to my place and do a couple of things. After all, two months is a long time to be away! Hey, Applejack, send your brother over to Vinyl’s then!” I wave to them and sprint towards town.

The townsfolk have returned to their daily routines. As I run through town, ponies wave to me, acting like I never left in the first place. I wholeheartedly wave back to them, genuinely pleased to see the town again. Before going to my place, I make a quick detour to Golden Oaks. Going inside, I shout out, “Spike! I’m back!”

“Blake?!” I hear Spike yell from upstairs before he comes bolting down the stairs. “It really is you!”

I laugh. “In the flesh!”

“Where have you been? What happened to you?”

I wave my hand. “Long story. Went somewhere, got some new toys, came back, nearly died. Ya know, the usual. Twilight should tell you everything later. Anyway, what’s up with the band?”

He blinks his eyes a few times before shaking his head. “Amazing! Sales from the first album are still going on! And we’ve even been practicing every song we could do since you’ve been gone. Just in case, ya know, you came back.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And how have you been practicing them?”

Spike plays with his claws and refuses to look me in the eye. “Well, you see, Lyra sorta, maybe, definitely took your iPod. We figured it’s what you would have wanted us to do.”

“You disappear for two months and everybody either copies your fashion or steals your stuff. What is wrong with this town?”

I nod my head. “And that’s exactly what I would have wanted you to do.”

Spike looks at me. “Really?”

“Really?”

I nod my head. “Of course. But enough about that, I need your help.”

He nods his head. “Anything.”

I hold up a finger. “One, when Twilight writes her report to Celestia about my return, include an order for more meat for me. Lord knows the girls didn’t order any for me while I was gone. Speaking of, did they at least stock up on other supplies?”

He nods his head, smirking. “Yeah. Who do you think did most of the shopping?”

I bring up another finger. “Two, how many songs have you practiced?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Not sure, but we’ve been doing as many as we can.”

I bring up a third finger. “Lastly, grab your gear, get Lyra, and meet us at Vinyl’s. We got an album to produce!”

Spike’s eyes light up. “Sweet! I’ll meet you there!” I go to leave but Spike grabs my leg. “Hey, hold up a second.” He walks over to one of the bookshelves, pulling out a thick tome. “Don’t tell anypony about this.” He opens up the tome to reveal that the inside is hollowed out, leaving just enough space for a large pouch to fit inside. He grabs the pouch and hands it to me. “This is your royal stipend and your share of the money from our album sales. I’ve been collecting it in case you came back.”

I grab the pouch and heft it up. Damn, this thing is heavy! “How much is in here?”

“Eh, about eight grand, give or take a few hundred.”

I stare in awe at the pouch. “Holy hell, I’m rich! Thanks for gathering it!”

“Aw, it was no problem at all.”

“Still, thanks! Hey, I’ll see you at Vinyl’s, okay?”

Spike nods his head. “Got it!”

Spike runs back upstairs while I run home. I enter and see that everything is neat and tidy. They even put away from my decorations from Christmas. Ah, such wonderful friends. Heading to my bedroom, I place the Diamondback in a tin box and stash it under my bed. Grabbing my guitar, which the girls placed on my bed, I run into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. A fruit basket sits on a table I’ve never seen before, which I can only assume is my gift from Applejack. Walking over, I read a little note attached to the basket.

“Here’s an extra special welcome home gift just for you! Pinkie Pie.”

I grab an apple and shudder. “How does she do these things?!”

“I can answer that. A little too much of Laughter carried over to Pinkie, thus leading to her innate abilities and powers.”

I take a bite of the apple and shake my head. “That explains so much and so little at the same time.” Swallowing, I leave to go to Vinyl’s, eating the apple during my walk.

Upon reaching Vinyl’s, I can see through the window the band and Vinyl. Pushing open the door, I spread my arms and shout, “I’m back, bitches!”

Vinyl shakes her head, chuckling. “Heh, thought the little guy got into too much booze when he told me you were back.”

“Can’t keep me down! At least, not for long. So, Mac, Lyra, how’s it been?”

Lyra crosses her arms. “Pfft, boring as hell since you’ve been gone.”

Mac raises an eyebrow and looks at Lyra. “Lyra…”

Lyra smirks. “Oh, who am I kidding. It’s been awesome! Have you seen how much money we’re still making from the first album?!”

I nod my head. “Yeah, and be prepared to make even more with our second album! Speaking of which, give me back my iPod!” I hold my hand out.

Lyra reaches into her pocket and pulls out my iPod, all the while scratching her head. “Heh heh, sorry for taking it while you were gone.”

I grab my iPod and nod my head. “Apology accepted. I’m happy you guys actually used it for practicing music instead of something stupid.”

“Alright you guys, enough talk! Are we ready to make some music?!” Vinyl asks.

“Hell yeah!” We all shout back.

“To the sound studio!” We cheer as we run upstairs to get started on our second album.

“Glad you’re back?”

“Duh! I’m back, alive, and not leaving for a very long time.”

Where Everyone Benefits!

“Permanent Vacation”

Where Everyone Benefits!

Currently, we are sitting in Vinyl’s recording studio, waiting as Vinyl puts the finishing touches our second album titled On The Rocks. Hell, we even got a request from the famed Sapphire Shores to appear on her upcoming album. Naturally, I agreed on the conditions that she join us for a song of our own and that I pick what song I perform with her. Her first response was to disagree, but after hearing what song I wanted to perform with her and vice versa, she did a complete one eighty in her decision.

I’m idly flipping a bit through the air when I snatch it in midair and lean forward. “Hey, guys, I just had a brilliant idea. What if we hold a benefit concert to increase sales and our public image?”

Lyra looks up from her snacking on some chips. “And who needs benefitting that we need to hold a concert for them?”

I smirk. I want them to figure this out on their own. “Well, it’s close to home and can shape many lives of the younger generation…”

Mac raises an eyebrow. “The Ponyville schoolhouse?”

I shake my head. “Getting closer, but it’s more of a place of housing than education.”

Spike snaps his claw. “I got it! You’re talking about the Ponyville Orphanage!”

I point at him. “Bingo.”

Vinyl glances at us before returning to her work. “Sounds good to me. What’d you have in mind?”

“We charge people a small fee to see us, play a couple of our latest songs, and then Sapphire and I will perform our songs to end the show. That is, if Sapphire will agree to take part in this.”

Vinyl chuckles. “Heh, I don’t think she’d pass up a chance to perform. I’m all for it if you guys are.”

“Eeyup.”

“Our first actual concert? Of course I’m gonna go along with it!” Spike says, Lyra nodding in agreement since she’s too busy stuffing her face with chips again.

I nod my head. “Then it’s settled. Vinyl, I’ll leave the logistics and planning up to you. In the meantime,” I go to leave, “I’ll head over to the orphanage and talk things over with the owner.”

“Whatever you negotiate, I want us receiving at least forty percent of the profits!” Vinyl yells to me.

“Will do!” Descending to the shop, I head outside into the bright and cheery Monday morning. I gotta hand it to the weather ponies around here. They were smart enough to leave a few clouds lingering around for ample shade from the sun.

“That, or Rainbow Dash was too lazy to clear them all and is waiting till the last second to do it.” I look up and snicker at the sight of a rainbow tail hanging over the edge of a cloud.

I head towards the orphanage, whistling a happy tune to myself the entire time. As I near the orphanage, the sound of laughter fills my ears. Colts and fillies run around the building, playing with toys and just enjoying the sunny day. I smile at the sight of them. Oh, what joy this concert will bring to them. A couple of the kids notice me and start to follow me. This draws the attention of a few mares watching the children.

One of them, a light green mare with a long flowing teal mane and wearing jean shorts and a grey tank top, walks over to me. “Hello, and welcome to the Ponyville Orphanage. Is there anything I can help you with?” Her voice sounds so tender and caring, able to ease the burden of anyone who talks to her.

I nod my head. “In fact, yes. I’m looking for the matron of the orphanage.”

The mare holds out her hand. “That would be me. I’m Sea Swirl. Nice to meet you, Mister…?”

I shake her hand. “Blake Quinter, but please call me Blake.”

“Well then, Mister Blake, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

I look at the children and smile at them before returning my gaze to Sea. “I’m here with a business proposition.”

Sea crosses her arms. “I’m sorry, but I’m not selling the orphanage at this time. Please tell your boss that if I ever do, I’ll contact him.”

I raise an eyebrow and notice some of the children leaving, shaking their heads. Things must be worse than I thought around here. I will give them credit, they can put up a nice front though. “Selling the orphanage? I’m sorry, but this is the first time I’m hearing this.”

Sea gasps. “Oh, I’m sorry! I thought that you were here to try and convince me to sell the building and land!”

I chuckle. “It’s alright. But I’m curious as to why you would be selling this place? It looks to be in very decent shape as it is.”

Sea sighs. “I’ll tell you, but not out here. Please follow me inside.” She turns around and leads me inside, but not before I catch a couple of glares from some of the mares.

Entering the building, she leads me behind the front desk to a door with her name and title on it. Going inside, she sits down behind a desk and motions for me to take a seat in a plush red chair. Doing so, I idly glance around her office at the rows of filing cabinets along the wall and pictures drawn by the orphans here. I grab one off her desk and look at it. While very crude, I can tell that’s Sea tenderly cradling a filly, the words, “Thank you for being my new mommy. I love you,” written across the top of the paper.

“Dammit, am I crying?!”

Sea sighing snaps me back to reality. “This orphanage, this sanctuary, is the last place many fillies and colts have right now. For years, I’ve watched over them, making sure their lives improved. And in those years, I’ve stood strong against all obstacles that faced this orphanage. And now, I fear I’ll lose it all to debt.” Sea looks up, tears in the corner of her eyes. “I can’t afford the upkeep anymore. These fillies and colts need this place right now and I can’t do a damned thing to save it.”

I nod my head. “And that’s why I’m here. I’ll do everything in my power to help you.”

Sea smiles. “How? Unless you can magically create bits, I don’t see how you can help.”

I chuckle. “Ever hear of the All-Equestrian Rejects?” Sea nods her head. “I’m the lead singer of them.”

She gasps. “You’re in the All-Equestrian Rejects?! I love your music! I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you!”

I laugh and wave my hand at her. “Nah, it’s cool. I’m fine with not having my image plastered everywhere.”

“This… This is amazing! A real celebrity here at the orphanage! Why are you here?”

I smirk. “Well, we’re going to be releasing our latest album soon and we all decided that a benefit concert would increase our sales and public image. And I could think of no other place to hold a concert for than the Ponyville Orphanage.”

Sea closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths. She opens her eyes and clasps her hands together, laying them on the table. “We would be honored to have you perform here. You could even set up the stage in the field out back.”

Well, that was convenient. Looks like Vinyl has one less thing to worry about. I nod my head. “Thank you for the offer, which I’m sure we’ll agree to.” I clasp my hands and lean forward. “Now onto the more business side of this talk. We are going to donate seventy percent of ticket sales to the orphanage. Is that acceptable?”

“But Vinyl said—”

“Fuck what she said. This place needs the money more than us right now. Lose a little bit of money or save a beacon of hope. Not hard to see where I’m tossing my chips.”

Sea holds out her hand. “That is more than acceptable. Do we have a deal?”

I smirk and shake her hand. “Yes, yes we do.” We both stand up. “Before I go, I have another question that I need answered.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“You’re doing it, aren’t you?”

“Which of your members are up for adoption?”

One week later

“Five minutes till show time!” A stagehand yells as he opens the door to the dressing rooms.

“Got it!” I yell back as my makeup artist finishes applying… Ya know, I have no idea what it is. Some stuff that’s supposed to make our skin shiny or something. I nod my thanks to the mare as she wanders off.

Spinning around in my chair, I look around the room. I gotta hand it to Vinyl. She was initially peeved that I negotiated less than she wanted, but changed her tune when I told the story of the orphanage going under. She immediately got to work on contacting her, well, contacts about the event. Within days, a full stage was set up on the field behind the orphanage and grandstands erected, along with the entire staff and crew to pull this thing off. Vinyl must have more influence in Equestria than I thought.

On that note, Sapphire said that she would be more than happy to perform with us and donate to the orphanage. I’m pretty sure that’s why we got so many ticket sales, just because Sapphire Shores is performing.

“That is an insult to us. You know that, right?”

“Yes, but if the money is going towards something worthwhile, then I’m happy. Just think of the PR this will bring though!”

“Yes, the astounding Sapphire Shores and the All-Equestrian Rejects performing for one night only. The press will eat that shit up!”

The mare in question gets up from her own makeup session, nodding to me before heading back to her dressing room. I can’t even begin to describe her outfit as she saunters to the door. The only thing I have to say is that if the outfits of Lady Gaga and the voice and body of Beyoncé had a love child, Sapphire would be the end result.

I look over at Spike, sitting in a chair to my right. The makeup artists felt he didn’t need any touching up, so he got a free pass. Lucky bastard. “So, ready for our big performance?”

Spike smirks. “You know I’m ready.”

I look over to my left at Lyra and Mac with their own makeup artists. Lyra is sitting there with her arms crossed. I smirk. “Do you feel pretty yet, Lyra?”

She huffs. “Go to Tartarus.”

We all laugh. “Oh, don’t be like that now. It’ll all be worth it when we’re performing.”

Lyra smirks. “Yeah, I know that. Doesn’t mean I can’t be grumpy every now and again.”

“Two minutes to show time!” The stagehand from before yells.

We stand up and file out the door behind the stagehand, grabbing our instruments (Except for Spike, of course) from other stagehands. Vinyl is standing by the left stage entrance, waiting for us. She smirks and nods to us. “Knock em dead tonight.”

“Hey, how many ponies showed up?” Spike asks.

Vinyl shakes her head and chuckles. “All of them. We sold out.”

Mac whistles. “Damn…”

I raise an eyebrow. “Not enough info there, girl. How many tickets did we have?”

Vinyl nods her head. “Smart question. We had one thousand tickets for either air or ground seats, not counting the six you gave out for free.”

Lyra and I whistle. “Damn!”

Vinyl laughs. “And just think, this is only the beginning. Wait until you’re playing for crowds up into the ten thousands and higher!” Vinyl glances behind us. “I gotta get set up to introduce you guys. Good luck!” She yells as she walks off.

I turn around, holding my hand out. “Hands in, everyone.” Spike, Lyra, and Mac places their hands on mine. “On three, All-Equestrian Rejects. Ready? One, two, three! All-Equestrian Rejects!” We throw our hands up and shout out our name.

“Alright, alright, alright! Please welcome to the stage, The All Equestrian-Rejects!” Vinyl’s voice projects from the speakers.

We calmly walk out onto the stage waving, cheers drowning out all other noise as we take our places. Looking out, a sea of fans greets my eyes from both the air and the ground. The grandstands couldn’t hold everyone so a large chunk of the crowd is in the space between the stage and the grandstands. I glance at the girls in the front row, cheering for us.

“Hello Ponyville!” I yell into the mic, receiving even more cheering from the crowd. Once the noise dies down, I continue. “Before we begin, I would like to personally thank everyone for coming out tonight in support of the Ponyville Orphanage. All the money we raised tonight is all in part because of you guys! So let’s hear it!” Another wave of cheering comes from the crowd. “Let’s get this party started! Hit it!”

We jump into our playlist for the night, consisting of Youth Gone Wild, War of Change, The End Is Where We Begin, and Living on The Edge.

Once we finish and the crowd settles down, I motion for everybody to leave the stage. “Alright, now we’re gonna take a short break. Until then, please enjoy the musical stylings of the great DJ Pon-Three.” Vinyl’s music blares out of the speakers as I head backstage as well, waving to the crowd. Once there, I head over to the band and high five each of them. “Way to go, guys! Why don’t you all take a break while I get ready for Sapphire?”

“Eeyup.”

Spike shrugs his shoulders. “Sounds good to me.” He glances at Lyra as a smirks plays across his face. “So, does this mean that we need to visit the makeup artists again?”

Lyra crosses her arms and huffs. “Do we really have to?”

Mac nods his head. “Eeyup.”

I laugh and nudge her with my elbow. “Come on, you gotta look pretty for Bon-Bon.”

Lyra blushes and looks at the ground, punching me in the shoulder. “Sh-Shut up!”

We all laugh. “Alright, you three go rest up.” They head back to the dressing room while a makeup artist runs over to me for a quick touchup. Once she finishes, I yell out to the general area, “What do I have to do to get some water around here?!” A stagehand rushes up to me with a bottle of water. I eagerly drink it, tossing the now empty bottle back to the stagehand.

As Vinyl’s mix ends, I walk back out to the stage as Sapphire’s band follows me out. They take their positions as I head up to one of two microphone stands set up. “How is everybody?!” The crowd yells back. “Good! Now, give it up for the one, the only, Sapphire Shores!” I motion to my right as Sapphire saunters out, everybody clapping and cheering for her.

She takes her place in front of the other mic stand, glancing over at me. “Honey, you ready to blow their minds?”

I smirk. “Minds? Baby, I’m going for the full body treatment!”

Sapphire looks back at the crowd. “Ponyville, get ready to hear some fine ass music!” She snaps her fingers, her band going right into the song we rehearsed, On The Floor. Of course, I had to reword some of the lyrics to fit Sapphire and Equestria since this is ‘her song’. There isn’t much for me to do, save for the opening lyrics, so I get pushed aside for Sapphire’s backup dancers to come out and dance with her. Seeing Sapphire move like that probably has every man here hot under the collar, I included.

“Hot damn, I love this place! Get some fine ass mares in this joint!”

“As much as I want to be upset with you, I can’t right now.”

“You too focused on other things?”

“…Possibly.”

The crowd goes wild as we finish. Sapphire’s dancers and band leave the stage, allowing Spike, Lyra, and Mac to come back out and retake their positions onstage. Once the crowd dies down, I snatch the mic and point at Sapphire. “I gotta say, you put on one hell of a show for the stallions here.”

Sapphire puts a hand on her hip and snaps her fingers. “You know it, baby.”

I smirk and point at Mac. “Well, I think it’s only fair we put on a show for the mares. Isn’t that right, Mac?”

“Eeyup.”

“Well then, shall we?” Mac nods his head. We both slowly take our shirts off, to the wild cheering of the mares in the crowd and the flashes of cameras. Afterwards, I ball my shirt up and toss it into the crowd as Mac does the same. I know I’m not the most muscular guy around, but I catch the looks from the mares around town. And I’m pretty sure Mac gets his fair share.

Sapphire acts like she’s fanning herself. “Woo, now you’re getting me all flustered!”

“Isn’t that the point?” Mac asks, a small smirk on his face.

I put my hands up, motioning for everyone to calm down. “Alright, alright, we still got a show to close out. So if you’re ready, Sapphire?” She nods her head. “Then let’s end this with a bang!”

I sway my hips from side to side as we go into our final song of the night, Moves Like Jagger. We end the night, like I said, with a bang. The cheering crowds, the photo op with the orphans (Minus Scootaloo, possibly wanting to hide that she's lives there), the autographs, the happiness of Sea when we handed her the money. Damn, it feels good to actually be doing something good for once.

Operation: Geological Gunman

Author's Note

Some of you may have noticed the gore tag added to the story. Please note this is only to say there is the presence of blood.

Operation: Geological Gunman

“Permanent Vacation”

Operation: Geological Gunman

I awaken, casually stretching myself and hearing joints pop. I roll out of bed and plant my feet on the ground, heading over to my dresser to grab some clothes.

“About damn time you got up!”

“Good morning to you too.”

“Not the time for this shit! We got trouble!”

I freeze, my eyes going wide. “What?! Why wasn’t I informed sooner?!”

“I’ve been trying to warn you! Get dressed and grab your gear, they’re going to be here any moment!” I scramble around my room, throwing on blue jeans and a dark blue t-shirt. Just as I hostler the Diamondback, I hear my front door slam open.

“Come out, little pony!” A deep, gruff sounding voice echo’s throughout the house.

“Promise not hurt!” A similar sounding voice says. The way these two voices sound kinda gets me thinking that not all of their synapses are firing properly.

Heavy footfalls echo, getting louder. Shit, gotta hide. I activate the Cloak and Dagger, and just in time too, as my door is flung open. I scowl at the sight before me. A Diamond Dog, looking exactly like they do in the show albeit a bit more bipedal instead of that gorilla walk they had, looks around my room. “Nopony here!” The Dog turns around and heads back outside with me slowly following behind.

Outside stands another Dog. “Every house searched?”

The first Dog nods his head. “Big red pony still protecting building with ponies?” I smirk. Good, Mac is leading the resistance against them.

The second Dog shrugs. “Check. Then see boss.”

As the two head towards Town Hall, I slip back into my house and disguise myself as one of the Dogs. Stepping back outside, I follow them but maintain my distance. “Agent, give me a sitrep on the situation.”

“As far as I can tell, the Diamond Dogs started rounding up everypony in town about two hours ago. Our place was the last one they hit.”

“And the Elements?”

“Taken, but not sure where.”

“Was Spike able to send a message to the Princesses for backup?”

“Wasn’t able to. By the time Twilight and him found out, it was too late. You got a plan for saving them?”

I smirk. “Of course I have a plan. I’m gonna tail these two back to wherever they keeping the townsfolk. Then, I’ll carefully extract them back to…” I glance around at the town. Dogs wander around, probably still searching for any stragglers. “A safe haven.”

“Contacting Celestia and Luna would be easier.”

I shake my head. “By the time they mobilized the guards, the Dogs could have gone to ground and we may never find them again.”

“Good point.”

“Still, I’ll rescue Spike and have him send a message asking them to secure the town.”

I idly finger my knife and Diamondback, really not wanting to use them but probably going to anyway. I want to do this with as little bloodshed as possible. As we near town hall, I see a ring of Dogs surrounding the building. All the windows are boarded up. I hang back and act like I’m checking down an alley for any ponies while my targets head towards a Dog standing by the front entrance.

Once their talk is finished, they leave the area and head for the southern outskirts of town. Following, the green scenery is slowly replaced with rocks and dirt, painting the land in an almost dull grey and brown. The Dogs head straight for a hole in the ground. Without hesitation, they dive in, one after the other. I head over and look down the hole, seeing nothing.

“Is this the only way?”

“Do you see any other option? We don’t have the time to find any other way to get to where they’re keeping them.”

Sighing, I jump into the hole. Instead of straight descent like I expected, the tunnel slopes into a slide of sorts that twists and turns, some rocks in the wall, somehow, providing illumination. I look down and see a bright glow coming up. As soon as my feet leave the slide, I hit the ground and roll, my knife drawn and ready for any surprise. Seeing nothing, I stand up and brush myself off. Looking around, I’m in a central chamber with multiple tunnels branching off in random directions.

“Great. Now how are we gonna find them? This place must be a maze!”

“I’ll mark each room we’ve been in with an x on the floor.” I crouch down and draw an x off to the side so as to avoid it being disturbed. Standing back up, I pick a random tunnel to follow. In all logic, this must be the Diamond Dog base of operations so I’ll eventually find where everyone is being kept. Going along, I mark each room in come to, be it a dungeon with empty cells or an armory. Guards don’t give me a second glance as I march along.

Coming up to a tunnel exit, I hear moans and plinking sounds getting louder and louder. Stepping out into the chamber reveals it to be massive with multiple levels, but my eyes aren’t drawn to the chamber. They’re drawn to the ponies being chained up, forced to dig under the watchful eyes of the Dogs. Some of the Dogs have whips, and a couple of ponies already have rips and tears in their clothes from the flogging. On the unicorns, I notice a black ringed rock faintly glowing blue around their horns. As for the pegasi, ropes are tied around them to pin their wings. One could taste the despair and dread hanging in the air.

I clench my fists. “These bastards are going to pay dearly for this.”

“Not right now, I hope. Too many guards to stealthily save the ponies.”

“But I can’t leave them like this!”

“We’ll get them out, trust me.”

I walk through the chamber, watching as ponies look at me and cower, some desperately trying to work harder at the sight of my gaze. Just what did these Dogs do to them? I make my way to another tunnel on the ground floor, seeing that it branches to the left or right. I choose the right path, looking for any opportunity to free the town.

As I walk down the tunnel, a scream of pain and a voice reaches my ears. “That all you got?!”

That raspy voice… Rainbow. I sprint down the tunnel, slowing down as I approach a chamber off to the right. Stopping outside it, I cloak before sliding around the corner. I resist the urge to gasp. I’ve found the girls, forced to watch as Rainbow, chained to the wall with her back out, is flogged over and over by a Dog, with another guard beside him, laughing at Rainbow. Her entire back is cut and red, showing that she’s been like this for a while. At the back of the room sits the little runt leader of the Dogs, Spot, on a rock throne, smirking at the suffering before him.

“You got the perfect opportunity to strike. Use it wisely.”

If I plan this right, I should be able to get the girls out of here. Moving into position behind the throne, I glance out to make sure I won’t be seen. De-cloaking, I ready my knife to strike. “Pony learn lesson?” Spot says. I glance out to see him stand up and move forward a bit. Perfect, makes my job easier.

Rainbow grunts as the whip comes down on her back. “I learned I’m gonna kick your ass when I get outta here!”

“Agent, instant kills on a backstab or is that Team Fortress Two logic?”

“It’s a freaking knife. Of course you can instant kill someone with it! But as for your question, yes, instant kills on backstab. Go nuts.”

I move in behind Spot, my knife ready to plunge into his neck. Just as I go to strike, Fluttershy’s sobbing stops me. “Please, don’t hurt her anymore,” She chokes out between sobs.

Spot laughs. “Fine. We stop soon. Then your turn, yellow pony.”

I feel my blood boil. “This bastard needs to die!”

“Show him no mercy!”

Before Spot can move, I slap my hand over his mouth and plunge the knife into the base of his neck. His body stiffens up and a muffled mmph escapes his mouth before he goes slack, his life ended in an instant. Wrapping my arms around his, I drag him behind the throne and prop him up out of sight. I quickly search him, pulling out a set of keys. Pulling out my disguise kit, I hit the button to rescan the area, tapping out Spot’s face once I find him. Stepping back out after disguising, I walk back to where Spot was. “Enough!” Everyone looks at me. I smirk and hold my left hand out. “Bring whip here. Me teach yellow pony lesson.”

“Don’t you dare lay ah finger on her!” Applejack shouts, earning her a slap across the face from a guard.

The guard with the whip walks over to me while the other guard drags Dash back to the girls to chain her up. Once the whip is in my hand, the guard turns around. Before he can go too far, I drop the whip and repeat what I did with Spot. Instead of dragging the body behind the throne, I lay it on the ground. I look up to see that this has gone unnoticed by everyone.

The last Dog manhandles Fluttershy over to the chains, while everybody else cries out to leave her alone. I calmly walk towards the Dog, motioning for the girls to stay quiet as I enter their field of view. The Dog shoves Fluttershy towards the chains as I move in behind. I raise my knife.

“Boss ready?” The Dog says.

I smirk. “But of course.” Before the Dog can react, I drive my blade into its neck. This time, I don’t bother muffling the scream of pain. As the Dog slumps forward, I shake some fresh blood off my knife before replacing it my pocket.

“Blake!” Fluttershy wraps her arms around me and sobs into my chest.

“Boy, are we happy ta see you, Blake!”

I pat Fluttershy on the back, and then push her away. “While I’m happy to find you six, we got more important matters on our hands. Namely, getting out of here.” I toss Fluttershy the keys. “Get the girls out while I hide the bodies.”

Fluttershy wipes her eyes and nods her head, rushing over to the girls. “Where have you been, Blake?” Twilight asks.

I heft up one of the bodies and drag it behind the throne. “No time for questions, Twilight. Plenty of time later for the Q and A session.”

“Thank you for the rescue, darling.”

I snort as I drag the second body behind the throne. “Don’t thank me yet. As long as we’re down here, it isn’t safe.” Dumping the body, I head over to the girls just as Fluttershy frees Pinkie. “You doing okay, Rainbow?”

Rainbow grunts. “Never been better.”

I turn to Twilight. “And what about you, Twilight? Is your magic working?”

She shakes her head, pulling the ring off her horn. “These rings are Nullstone, able to prevent any unicorn from doing magic as long as it is worn and for two hours after removal.”

I shake my head. “Damn, would have been nice to have some backup. But I don’t want to put you girls in any more danger.” I draw my knife and motion for them to follow me. “Stay behind me, and stay quiet.” Everyone nods.

Back in the tunnel, I go to the right and continue walking. Further down, I see another chamber coming up on the left. I slide up against the wall and motion for the girls to do the same. Peeking around the corner, I count five guards, Aloe and Lotus, Cheerilee, and the Crusaders. The ponies are being forced to mine. I clench my fist. Not even children are fucking safe from them. I turn back to the girls, motioning for them to stay quiet and stay here. I disguise as a random dog and draw my knife before turning the corner.

Now, how am I gonna get them out of here? Scootaloo throws her pickaxe on the ground. “Just you wait until Rainbow Dash gets here! She’ll beat you all!”

One of the guards draws a whip, stalking towards Scootaloo. I gulp. Please, don’t do it. “Pony want lesson?”

Scootaloo’s eye widen as she backs away. “Don’t you hurt those fillies!” Cheerilee shouts.

The Dog with the whip promptly turns and whips Cheerliee, causing the Crusaders to gasp. “You leave her alone, you bully!” Sweetie yells.

“Yeah! Why don’t ya pick on someone yer own size?!”

The whip Dog turns back to the Crusaders, a menacing smirk on its face. “All ponies need lesson.” The Dog raises the whip. The Crusaders huddle together, whimpering.

BANG

The sound echoes throughout the chamber as the whip Dog falls to his side, a new hole in his head. All movement stops as the Dogs look to their fallen companion, then to me. I train my Diamondback, now crackling with blue energy, on the nearest guard. “I’m gonna put you down like the sick fucking dogs you are!”

“Blake!” Everypony yells.

One of the guards points at me. “Get pony!”

The guards rush me. The nearest one jabs a spear at me. In one fell motion, I sidestep to the right and draw my knife, using my left hand to plunge it into its neck. I push off the Dog, firing at the next Dog. He falls forward as the newest hole in his chest starts bleeding. The two remaining Dogs back off, glancing at each other. Smirking, I calmly walk forward, firing a round at each of their legs. They fall to the ground, screaming in agony. I walk up to them and put them out of their misery with a final bullet to the head for both.

I stand there, staring at the dog I just shot. Did… Did I really just do this in front of ponies? So innocent to this stuff, especially the Crusaders? Did I really just take another life? Why did I enjoy it? I shake my head. Bending down, I search the two dogs for any keys. They don’t have any, so I move on to the third dog I shot.

Just as I bend down, I hear a voice behind me. “Pony drop weapons!”

I spin around and draw the Diamondback, pointing it at the voice. Shit, this ain’t good. The girls are standing there, hands in the air, as a row of Dogs stand behind them, spears pointing at them. In front of them are the remaining two Diamond Dog leaders, Rover and Fido. Even if I fire at them now, I won’t be fast enough to kill all these Dogs.

“And you broke rule number one of every shooter, remember to reload your gun after every encounter.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And if I refuse?”

“Then we hurt ponies!”

God damn it. They got me cornered and they know it. Sighing, I toss the Diamondback and my knife on the ground. “There, you got my weapons.”

Rover laughs. “Good! Pony get on knees!” I comply. I hang my head as I put my palms together and keep them close to my body. “Tie pony up! Take to the Pit!”

Fido laughs, walking towards me with a burlap sack and some rope. He throws the sack over my head, blocking my vision. I can feel the coarseness of the rope tighten around my wrists. His paws search me, finding my disguise kit and Cloak and Dagger. Damn, I had hoped they wouldn’t find the watch at least.

“Agent, send me the next loadout. Get it here as soon as you can.”

“Got it. Pulling everything now.”

I’m roughly picked up and pushed forward, causing me to stumble. “Pony move or make move.” Fido says. I walk forward, being guided by pushes from Fido. Due to the sack, I have no idea where I am or what’s around me. “Pony stop now.”

I stop, listening to everything around me. Faintly, I hear what sounds like a growing crowd. We stand like this for a while, giving me some time to think. Maybe I could extract some info from Fido? “So, what exactly is the Pit?”

Fido chuckles darkly. “Pony find out soon.”

“Well, that was helpful.”

I hear movement from in front of me. “Pit ready now.”

“Pony go forward,” Fido says, roughly shoving me forward.

I walk in a straight line, the sound of cheering getting louder and louder. At one point, the cheering becomes deafening. A paw grabs my shoulder, pulling me back. The sack is yanked off my head. I cringe and blink my eyes from the sudden brightness, stumbling forward as I’m pushed from behind. I’m barely aware I’m falling off a ledge. Acting fast, I twist myself so I land on my side.

Grunting, I push myself into a sitting position before standing up. Looking around, I’m confirmed that the Pit is actually a circular arena, a locked door behind me. On the ledge surrounding the circle sit rows upon rows of Diamond Dogs, each one having a pony on a leash beside them. Directly in front of me are three thrones, two of which are currently being occupied by Rover and Fido. Spike sits in a cage, a rope around his mouth and his claws tied up, on the third throne.

Rover raises his paw, silencing the Dogs. “This pony killed our kin. This pony killed Spot. Today, we kill pony!” The Dogs in the crowd cheer wildly.

I chuckle lightly, slowing rising in both volume and laughter. “You think you can get rid of me that easily? Any Dog you send down here with me won’t be walking away!”

Rover scowls. “Pony don’t have weapon! Pony’s hands tied! We kill you!”

I shrug, thrusting my hands forward. “Oh, this?” I rapidly rub my hands together till my right hand slides free. I pull the rope off my left hand, tossing it over my shoulder. “This is just a minor inconvenience.”

“So pony get free of ropes. Big deal! We still kill you!”

I hold my hand out, motioning for them to bring it. “I hope you aren’t fond of the men you send down here.”

Fido points at me. “”Kill him!” Two guards jump down into the arena directly in front of me, each one carrying a spear and laughing.

I smirk. “How soon on those items, Agent?”

“Still working on it. What you’re asking for requires more than simple illusion magic.”

I sprint towards the guard on the left. The guard stops moving. He shoves his spear at me once I’m in range. Sidestepping to the left, I reach out with my left hand and grab the shaft of the spear. Pivoting, I bring my right elbow around, smashing it into the Dog’s head. As expected, the Dog lets go of the spear to grasp at its head. I pivot again, bringing the spear around. Before the Dog can move, I jam the spear in the back of its head.

As the Dog falls forward, I use the momentum I’ve gained to launch myself towards the other Dog, spear still in hand. I hit the ground in a roll, going right under the Dog’s spear. I shove upwards with the spear, rewarded with gurgling from the Dog. The Dog falls backwards, the spear firmly lodged in his throat.

Not a sound is heard as I stand up. I look at the crowd around me, sitting in shock. I spread my arms and slowly spin in a circle. “Are you not entertained?!”

Rover shakes his head before pointing at me. “Get in there and kill pony!”

I point at Rover and Fido. “How many more Dogs are you gonna send down here to die by my hand? How many are you willing to lose?” I laugh. “I can’t believe that you’re the leaders of the Diamond Dogs!”

Fido snarls. “We lead Dogs. We—”

I scowl. “No, you don’t. A true leader is on the field with his men, not hiding behind them like a coward. If I am such a big threat to you, then get down here and face me. Or are you too scared to face me, letting your men die in your place?”

Rover growls. “Dogs not scared of you!”

I cross my arms. “Then prove it. Fight me like the Dogs you say you are, or die like bitches!”

“Fine! We show you!” They both leap off their thrones down into the Pit. Perfect, those idiots fell for it.

I rip the spear out of the Dog’s throat, snapping off the spearhead. Grabbing that, I chuck it at Rover. He calmly sidesteps it. I brandish the rest of the spear like a staff, ready to keep my distance. As they draw near, I lash out, aiming for the legs. They easily jump over that. I just barely duck under Fido’s retaliation punch. I spin to the left, smacking Fido in the back with the staff. He doesn’t even flinch.

“Heh, pony having trouble?” Fido says.

I shrug my shoulders. “Just testing the waters, you mangy mongrel.”

Fido snorts, his eyes going beet red. “Pony will regret that!” The Dogs in the crowd cheer.

“Oh shit.”

I gulp. “Oh shit indeed.”

With a howl, Fido leaps at me with a speed surprising for someone of his size. He unleashes a fury of punches at me. It takes everything I have to leap out of the way of each punch. I see a short opening for me to strike. Swinging at his head proves to be a mistake. He grabs the staff and yanks. I let go of the staff as I’m forced towards him. Before I can jump back, his other paw wraps around my neck. He lifts me up off the ground. I pound on his arm and kick my legs, trying to break free. His grip tightens slightly.

He pulls me close to his face. “Pony not tough now.”

He walks to the center of the arena, spinning me around so I’m facing Rover. “Any last words, Pony?”

I glance up at the ponies in the crowd, seeing every single one sitting in shock. Some are even trying to hold back tears, yet failing miserably. I’m… I’m sorry that I failed them. I tried saving them, but I couldn’t. There’s so much left unsaid, so much I wanted to experience. God, what was I thinking, trying to be the lone hero?

“Knock that sappy shit off! Hand in left pocket, now! The rest of your loadout will be along shortly.”

I reach down into my left pocket, feeling a round and smooth object there. I run my finger along the edge of it until I find a little knob on the top. I push down on it, smirking. “Thanks, Agent.”

“Well? Pony has last words?”

“Yeah, I do.” I spit into Rover’s face, scowling. “I fucked your mother!”

Rover slowly wipes the spit off his face, glaring at me. “Snap pony’s neck.”

The Dogs go wild while the ponies scream out in horror. The pressure on my throat tightens ever so slowly, cutting off more and more air to my throat. “Anytime this thing going to work?!”

“Give it a second! The rest of your loadout is here as well!”

There’s a sharp snapping sound as I fall to the ground, air swiftly filling my lungs. I look down and see myself, my neck twisted at an unnatural angle. I smirk and pull out the Dead Ringer, watching as the meter on it rapidly decreases. Shit, gotta move! Standing up, I run behind Fido and pull out my Spy-Cicle. With the amount of noise currently going on, be it from the ponies crying in agony to the wild cheering of the dogs from my apparent death, I should be able to de-cloak safely.

I snap the watch shut, hearing the all too familiar sound of a Spy de-cloaking with the Dead Ringer. I almost spin around on instinct but remind myself it’s only me this time. Before I’m discovered, I plunge the Spy-Cicle into Fido’s neck. Not a sound is heard from him as his entire body freezes solid, foot reared back to kick my fake corpse. Smiling, I walk out in front of Fido, seeing that Rover is heading for the door. I turn my back to him and face the frozen corpse of Fido.

The entire arena slowly goes quiet as people start noticing me. “Dogs keep cheering! Pony dead!” I hear Rover say.

“Sit! Stay! Freeze! Play dead! Good dog!” I laugh.

“Pony should be dead!”

I turn around, Rover pointing directly at me with his mouth wide open. I smirk. “Don’t you know? You can phone in just about anything nowadays, even death.”

“But pony body right there!” He shifts his pointing to my corpse.

I reach down, and with a sickening squelch, rip the head of my corpse off. I notice of couple of the ponies in the crowd cover their mouths. I stare into the empty eyes of the head. “Alas, poor Yorick! I never knew him.” I shrug my shoulders, tossing the head over them.

Rover lowers his paw, glaring at me. “What pony do to Fido?”

I jerk my thumb behind me. “Froze him.”

“When Fido free—”

I laugh, holding my Spy-Cicle in front of me. “You don’t get it, do you? He is dead, frozen inside and out! It doesn’t matter what you do to try and save him, he is truly dead!”

“Then I kill you!”

I pocket the Spy-Cicle, glaring at Rover. “Fine.” I stalk towards him, cracking my neck and knuckles. “I’m going to enjoy watching the blood slowly drain from your body.”

Rover sprints towards me, his right paw hooking towards my face. I block it. I swing a left hook and connect with his face. Rover stumbles back, but recovers quickly enough to thrust a fist towards me. I jump to the left, grabbing his arm and twisting. Rover cries in pain even more when my fist connects with his face, then his gut. Rover clutches his gut and bends over, only to meet my knee connecting with his face. He falls backwards.

I jump on top of him, relentlessly pounding his face. With each punch, my grin gets wider and wider. I stop my punching to see Rover spitting up blood, his face swollen and battered. I stand up and grab him, dragging him over to a wall. I slam him up against it, pinning him by using my left arm to push up against his throat.

I draw the Ambassador, pushing the barrel on the side of his temple. “Give me one good reason to not blow your fucking brains all over this wall. After all, I’d hate to leave even more a mess,” I snarl.

Rover genuinely looks afraid, trembling under my gaze. For the briefest of seconds, Rover’s eyes dart over my shoulder.

“Targets on your six!”

I look at the Ambassador, the bright metallic sheen giving off a reflection of what’s behind me. Six Dogs, all armed with spears, are slowly coming up behind me. I smirk. “Excuse me for just a moment. I need to send my Ambassador here out to improve diplomatic relations. Until then, you think of an answer to my question, okay?”

I head butt Rover, then spin around. The Dog closest to me gets a new hole in its head. I calmly walk forward as the Dogs rush me. I easily put down four of the Dogs, only missing once. With the clip empty, I can’t shoot the last Dog as he thrusts his spear towards me.

“Second verse, same as the first!”

I repeat what I did before, sidestepping to the right and drawing my Spy-Cicle before jamming it into its neck. With a slight chink sound, the Dog freezes in place. I withdraw the Spy-Cicle and place it back in my pocket. “Where do I get ammo for the Ambassador?”

“Think about it, then reach into your pocket.”

I reach into my pocket, feeling the speed loader for the Ambassador in my hand. I reload the Ambassador, smirking the entire time. “It would seem our diplomatic relations have taken a rather drastic turn, wouldn’t you say, Rover?” I turn around and raise an eyebrow.

Rover is standing away from me, a crossbow pointed directly at my chest. His eyes are wide and he trembles with every breath. “P-Pony dies now.” His voice quivers with each word.

“Can we toy with him some more? Please?”

I sigh, thrusting my left hand in my pocket and prepping the Dead Ringer. I spread my arms out to the side, nodding my head. “I know when I am beaten,” I motion to my chest, “Go ahead and take your shot. But you better not miss, cause I won’t.”

Rover hesitates, the crossbow shaking slightly. “Kill him, boss!” This cheer must steel Rover’s resolve since he now grips the crossbow with purpose, grinning ear to ear as his finger pulls the trigger. I don’t move or react at all to the bolt hurling towards me.

I feel a slight prick. A death scream escapes my lips as my corpse falls to the ground, the bolt piercing clean through my chest. I look up to see Rover grinning ear to ear as he slowly lowers the crossbow. “And that is how Dogs kill pony!”

“Admirable shot,” I say, causing Rover to stare wide eyed and open mouthed at my corpse. I de-cloak, the sound of the Dead Ringer being the only thing heard. I point the Ambassador at Rover’s head. “Now, it’s my turn.” I switch my aim to his left foot and fire. Rover screams in pain and falls to the ground, clutching his foot.

Rover stops his screaming long enough to stare at me. “What are you?!”

I stride forward, Ambassador still pointed at him. “I’m the nightmare you fell asleep to and woke up still in.” I stand over him, smirking the entire time. “Now, where were we? Ah, yes,” I snap my aim to his head, “You were going to tell me why I shouldn’t kill you!”

“We let you go free!” Rover shouts.

I shake my head. “Not enough to warrant sparing you.”

“We let all ponies go free too!”

I cock my head to the side and shrug my shoulders. “Gotta do better than that, Rover.”

“We never bother town again! Promise!” Rover holds his paws up in front of his face.

I smirk. “Now you’re talking my language.” I grab Rover and pull him up. Spinning him around, I put him in the classic hostage position, left arm around throat while weapon stays pointed at head. “You’re also going to give back everything you took from me, got it?”

Rover nods his head. “Release ponies! Bring pony’s items!”

The door out of the pit opens as the Dogs leave the area, bringing their pony prisoners with them. I wait until everyone is gone before leaving the Pit, Rover walking with me. The door opens into a large antechamber, able to hold everypony from town. At the front of the crowd are the girls, the Crusaders, and Spike.

Twilight holds her hands out, my stolen items in her grasp. “Here,” She gulps, “Here’s your items.”

I nod my head. “Hold on to them for now. Is everyone present?”

“As far as I can tell, sugercube.”

I press the barrel of the Ambassador harder against Rover’s temple. “You going to show us the way out of here.” Rover eagerly nods his head. “And if any of your Dogs try to stop us, I will end you without a second thought.”

Rover gulps. “Ponies will be safe. Me guide ponies to safety.”

I take the lead, the crowd of ponies following behind me, as Rover gives me directions to leave this godforsaken place. Any dogs along the way stand out of our way, glaring at us. We twist and turn through a maze of tunnels and rooms before coming to a tunnel that slopes slightly upward. Up ahead, I see sunlight streaming in from the tunnel exit.

Outside leads to the dull, barren land from before when I previously entered the Diamond Dog hideout. Stepping off to the left, I watch as the ponies leave the tunnel, looks of relief on their faces to finally be back in the warmth of the sun. Some ponies are being supported by others, making my grip on Rover tighten. Two Dogs flank the entrance to the tunnel as the last of the ponies steps out. I walk back in front of the tunnel, my back to the ponies.

“Oh, and might I add that any Dog still in town will be personally executed by me?”

“Dogs leave town?” One of the Dogs flanking the tunnel nods. “Town free of Dogs.”

I nod my head. “Good, good. Now, what shall I do with you?”

“Pony got what pony wanted!”

“He’s right, you know. You got what you wanted from them.”

“But he still needs to remember my threat! He needs to remember all the pain and suffering he caused to the town!”

“I’m not saying that. Just don’t kill him.”

I loosen my grip on Rover, but only a little bit so he doesn’t break free. “You kept your end of the deal, so I’m letting you go.” I hadn’t noticed how tense Rover’s body was until his body relaxes. “I like to think of myself as a reasonable man. That is why I’m only going to break one of your kneecaps.”

Rover’s body tenses back up. “What?!”

I bring the Ambassador around to the back of his right knee and fire. A new hole goes clean through his leg, Rover screaming in agony. I release my grip and push on his back, sending him falling to the ground. I bounce my aim between the two Dogs watching. “Take him back to your pathetic hole in the ground.”

The Dogs cautiously move forward, glancing from me to their fallen, only leader. They drag Rover towards the tunnel mouth, a trail of blood right behind him. Right before they enter, Rover yells back, “You not pony! What are you?!”

“I’m a goddamn human! Remember the name Blake Quinter, for it will be a name feared amongst the Diamond Dogs!” I stand there as the drag Rover into the tunnel, my Ambassador still pointed towards the entrance.

Sighing, I hostler the Ambassador and close my eyes. How many lives did I ruin today? Not just within the Diamond Dogs, but with the ponies too? The purity and innocence of the town, so casually tossed out the window once they saw me, the monster that I became. So easily taking the life of another… It felt so right to take every single one, yet so wrong. Seeing everyone I care for suffering… I just couldn’t stand to the side and do nothing. But was it the right action to take?

“Um… Blake?” Twilight says.

I slowly open my eyes and look up. I hold my left arm out to the side. “My stuff, please.” All my stolen gear is magically placed in my hand. They won’t even come near me now. I shove the disguise kit and knife in my pocket, holstering the Diamondback on my left hip. I put on the Cloak and Dagger and immediately cloak.

I can’t let them see me, and I can’t look at them. I avoid them all like the Black Plague as I slowly move back towards town.

I slam the shot glass back on the counter. Not sure how many I’ve had at this point, but I don’t care. Maybe passing out and forgetting about today would be a good thing.

Getting back to town was simple enough. Finding a place to avoid everyone, well, that proved to be much harder. I went to the only solace I could think of, The Drunken Mare. The door wasn’t even locked as I strode in, grabbing the first bottle of whiskey I saw, a shot glass, and tossing more than enough bits on the counter to pay for the bottle. Sitting down on a stool, I proceeded to drink it all away.

Not sure how long it’s been since I made it back. Pouring another round, I swirl it around in the shot a bit before downing that.

“Look, don’t beat yourself—”

I grind my teeth. “Agent, stay the fuck out of this.”

“Alright, fine. When you want to talk, you know where to find me.”

Sitting in silence, I pound my fist on the counter and hang my head. Why did I have to accept the Elements stupid offer? Having to take lives just to protect the Element Bearers? Look at what it cost me and everyone in the town. All the evil in the world to threaten the Elements Bearers was staring them in the face the entire time. Me.

I hear the door open and close. Hoofsteps echo throughout the empty bar, getting closer. The stool to my right slides out and someone sits down. I glance over and raise an eyebrow. Fluttershy… Fluttershy is the one who found me. She doesn’t say a word, just looks everywhere but me. I turn back to my drink, pouring another shot. Again, I swirl it for a bit before downing it.

I sigh. “Why? Why are you here?” Out of the corner of my eye, I see her finally look at me.

“You need somepony to talk to.”

I snort. “Like that’s going to do any good. Who’s gonna listen to me after today?”

Her hand grasps my wrist. “Well, I’m here, aren’t I?”

I shake my head. “And that’s just it. You’re the only one. Everybody in town just saw what I could do to them, and how far I’m willing to go to do it.”

“Yes, yes they did.”

“How I didn’t hesitate to end the lives of those Dogs. How every single one felt oh so right, yet oh so wrong. The looks of fear on their faces just before I ended them. It felt so… empowering.” I sigh and hand my head, “I’m a monster, and now everybody knows it.”

“Did you enjoy killing those Dogs?”

I sit in silence, thinking things over. “No,” I finally answer, “I didn’t enjoy it one bit. If I could have found any other option, anything at all, I would have avoided killing them.”

Her grip on my wrist tightens. “And everypony knows that. We’ve all been around you long enough to know you. It may not have been the best option for rescuing us, but it was the only option you had. You did what was right.”

“Was it really? I killed in front of all of you with no remorse. This town… This town was so pure, innocent, and carefree. Everyone in town so harshly introduced to the evils of the world. All because of me.”

Her hand runs up and down length of my arm. “They were going to be introduced to it at some point. As much as you want to believe everypony in Ponyville is innocent, it isn’t very true. We’ve all seen or done things that lifted that veil from our eyes, allowing us to see the world for what it is.”

I slam my fist on the counter and turn to her, tears stinging my eyes. “Don’t you tell me you’re not innocent! Have you ever had to look into the eyes of another creature, waiting to see if you bring them life or death?! Watching as they die from your hands, your actions?! The lives of others weighing on you?! Fucking say it to my face!”

Fluttershy does something I never expected, something I never thought her capable of. She slaps me, tears running down her face. “Don’t you ever say that to me! I’ve had to look plenty of animals in the eye and hear them beg me to end their misery and suffering! I had to put so many of my animal friends down because I couldn’t save them! If only I had found them sooner, I could have saved them, saved myself, from having to go through it all! That feeling right now, that feeling that you did the wrong thing?! That’s how I felt for weeks after I did it the first time!” She breaks down crying right in front of me.

I sit there with my mouth open. Dear god, what was I thinking? How could I be so inconsiderate to her? I lean over and wrap my arms around Fluttershy, pulling her into a hug. She sobs into my chest while I tenderly pat her back. Once she clams down enough, I ask her, “So, how did you deal with it?”

She sniffles before smiling. “I realized I was doing the right thing. If I didn’t put them down, they’ll have suffered even longer. If I didn’t do anything, I’d feel guilty for not trying my hardest to save them. I don’t enjoy it, and I never will, but it needs to be done.”

We sit in silence before I gulp, my throat suddenly dry. “Fluttershy, look at me and tell me what you see.”

She leans away from me, eyeing my entire body. She cups the side of my face with her hand and smiles. “I see someone who risked life and limb to save his friends, family, and an entire town. He may have done some things in his rescue that may seem questionable, but he had no other option, other than losing everyone he cares for. He did what he felt was right at the time.”

“But—”

She shakes her head. “Please, let me finish. He may not enjoy what he must do, but he does it for those he cares for. He knows he may, and most likely will, have to do these things again. He will feel remorse over the things he did, which is only natural. These emotions are what define him, showing the world what kind of human he is. In time, he will learn to accept these emotions, for that is what makes him a human, and not a monster he claims to be. Above all else, I see a hero that everypony will look up to and aspire to be.”

I pull her back into a hug, tears flowing freely down my face. “Thank you. Thank you for this,” I mumble. Once I calm down enough, I lean back and chuckle after replaying what just happened in my head. “Since when did you become so assertive and motivational?”

Fluttershy plays with her hair. “Well, while you were gone for those two months, the motivational speaker, Iron Will, came to town. I attended his session and learned some things about standing my ground and sticking up for myself.”

I nod my head. “And you’re better for it.” I stand up and sigh. “Now to deal with the rest of town.” Fluttershy follows me out of the bar. As I head up the stairwell, I apologize to Agent. “Look, I’m sorry for snapping at you back there. I just came back from a very dark place, and I just wanted to be alone for a while.”

“It’s alright. I understand how hard this job must be for you. I was only trying to help us both out.”

“And I thank you for at least trying and respecting my decision to be left alone.”

“Just don’t try to push everyone away next time. We’re a team, a family. We’ll all get through this together.”

I step out into the middle of the street and look to my right. Empty, like I expected it to be. May as well head to town hall, since I’m sure that’s where everyone is. Turning to my left, I jump back in shock. The entire town fills the streets. The girls (Fluttershy somehow silently making her way over to them), Celestia, and Luna stand at the front of the crowd. Nobody makes any movement as all eyes stay locked on me. My hand hovers over the Cloak and Dagger. I can’t do this. I can’t face them, not now!

“You can do this! Remember what Fluttershy said to you. Stay strong, for them and for you.”

Sighing, I cross my arms. “I hate it when you’re right.”

Celestia and Luna step forward. “Blake Quinter, it has come to thy attention that you have saved the town today from Diamond Dogs. Is this correct?” Luna says.

I nod my head. “Yes.”

“And you did this alone?” Celestia says.

Again, I nod my head. “I couldn’t stand by and do nothing as everyone I care for gets hurt. I didn’t want to drag anyone else into danger.”

Celestia and Luna both smile. “Then, on behalf of Ponyville, we thank you for their safe return.” My eyes go wide as Celestia and Luna bow to me, the town following suit. They… They really are grateful for their safe return, all of them. They can look past what I did to see me for what I really am, a hero. I wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes.

Everyone stands back up, smiles on their faces. “We shall never forget what thou did today, Blake. We understand that thou may feel horrible about thou actions—”

I hold up my hand. “Please, Luna, I have come to terms with what I did today and will most likely be able to in the future.”

Celestia raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure this will happen again? You sound so confident another event requiring your intervention will happen.”

I shrug my shoulders. “The future is always in motion, always changing. Nevertheless, I will do again what I did today.” I stand up tall, shouting so the crowd can hear me. “I will do what is necessary to protect everyone here, no matter what. What I do will never get any easier, nor do I expect it to. But as long as I remember who I’m doing it for and why I’m doing it, I will remember who I truly am. The hero of Ponyville, protector of its residents, scourge of evil, Blake Quinter!”

I throw my fist in the air as the residents of Ponyville cheer. I will do whatever it takes to protect this town. Bring it on, Equestria! I’m ready to face whatever you have to throw at me!

Feeling Pinkie Keen or Screw Logic, I'm Pinkie Pie!

“Permanent Vacation”

Feeling Pinkie Keen or Screw Logic, I’m Pinkie Pie!

Surprisingly, I slept like a log after the events of yesterday. I had half expected for me to have some nightmare, but I may have had some divine intervention from above in that regard. I smile as I recall the events of my dream last night, gazing up at a brilliant night sky as the stars seemed to dance before my eyes. I chuckle and shake my head, rolling out of bed to start the new day.

Right after I finish breakfast, I hear a knock on my door. “Coming!” I open the door and see Spike and Twilight. “Hey Spike. Hey Twilight. What brings you two out of the book fort?”

Twilight cocks her head while Spike snickers. “Book fort?”

I nod my head. “Yeah, the thing you live in? Don’t tell me you forgot your own home! You’re too young to be going senile just yet! Personal protégé of Princess Celestia losing her mind! Wait till the presses get ahold of this!”

Twilight smiles and rolls her eyes. “Ha ha, very funny. Spike and I are going out for breakfast at the Hay Bale and thought you might want to come along.”

I glance behind Twilight to see Spike cupping his hands, begging me to come with. I raise an eyebrow. “Uh, sure. Just to hang out though, I finished eating right before you knocked.”

Twilight claps her hands. “Perfect! It’ll give us more time to talk then.” I shut my door and step outside, walking right alongside her. As we walk through the town, I notice that nothing seems to have changed. Ponies go about their daily lives, acting like nothing happened yesterday.

“At least they can bounce back from such events.”

“Yeah, but it must be hard on all of them.

“No doubt about that, but it’s easier when they have each other to rely on for support.”

“So,” Twilight talking snaps me back to reality, “I’ve wanted to ask you a few things about yesterday…”

Mentally, I sigh. This conversation had to be had at some point. I just wish she gave me more time to prepare for it. “What’d you want to know?”

She glances over at me. “Well, how did you feign your death like that? We thought you had died when that Dog snapped your neck.”

It’s my turn to glance at her. Really? That’s all she wants to know? I thought I was going to have another conversation like with Fluttershy. But hey, I’m not bringing it up if she isn’t! I laugh. “That means I’m doing my job right.”

Twilight looks at me. “Huh?”

I pull out the Dead Ringer. “This is the Dead Ringer. Anytime I get hurt, I will instantly become invisible and drop a fake corpse along with an accompanying death scream. At that point, I become highly resistant to damage. Unlike the Cloak and Dagger, the battery in this will eventually die and must recharge on its own. The only downside is that it makes a loud noise when I become visible again.”

“Fascinating. May I?” She holds her hand out.

I shrug my shoulders and hand her it. “I don’t see why not.”

She examines it from all angles before her horn lights up, the Dead Ringer covered in her magical glow. She hands the watch back to me, shaking her head. “I don’t understand it! There seems to be something magical about the properties of that watch, but it gives off no magic signature!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Well, Twilight, some things have no explanation and we just have to accept that.”

She groans. “Fine. But I’ll eventually figure it out.”

Spike snaps his fingers. “Hey, that other watch Twilight told me about, the Cloak and Dagger? Can you use both at the same time?”

I shake my head. “Sadly, no. I can have both on me, but only one will work at a time. The same thing goes for my knives and revolvers.” Believe me, I tried yesterday night to wield both the knife and Spy-Cicle at the same time, but the knife wouldn’t leave my pocket until I put the Spy-Cicle away. I tried it with the revolvers too, only for the Diamondback to remain holstered.

We reach the Hay Bale. We all grab a table, a waiter running up to us almost immediately. Spike and Twilight order the same thing, a pancake platter of eggs and hay bacon with a side of orange juice. For me, just a glass of water. It doesn’t take long for everything to arrive. When no further conversation is made, I assume I’ve quenched her curiosity.

I see Twilight’s eyes go wide. “Could somepony else use them when you can’t?”

“That… That is actually a good question.”

“I have no idea. But we can test that right here.” I take the Cloak and Dagger off my wrist and hand it to her. “Put it on and hit the button on the side to cloak.”

She eagerly puts it on and hits the button. Before my eyes, she vanishes. My eyes widen. “Shit, it actually worked!” Agent and I say.

“This… This is amazing!” Twilight shouts, causing a couple of other patrons to turn our way. A fork disappears from the table, a piece of pancake following shortly after. “Everything I grab turns invisible too!” Twilight de-cloaks before us, grinning from ear to ear.

I clap my hands and smile. “An unexpected event, but a very revealing one! Mind if I have it back?”

“Oh, sorry. Here you go.” She magically levitates the Cloak and Dagger in the middle of table.

“I need to try this!” Before either of us can move, Spike reaches out and grabs it. He slaps it on his wrist and hits the button, but doesn’t disappear. Twilight and I raise an eyebrow. “Come on! Why ain’t it working?”

Twilight rubs her chin in thought. “I have a theory I want to test. Spike, give it back to Blake.” Spike hands me the watch. “Now, Blake, give it back to Spike.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Here you go, Spike. Not sure how this is gonna change the outcome.”

Twilight smiles. “Trust me on this. Okay, Spike? Try cloaking again.”

Spike hits the button. This time, he disappears. “Whoa! You’re right, Twilight! This is amazing!” He de-cloaks and hands me the watch.

I look at Twilight. “Care to explain your thought process, Twi?”

She smiles, obviously proud for solving this. “It worked for me when you just gave it to me, right?” I nod my head. “Well, Spike just took it from me instead of you giving it to him.”

“Still don’t see what…” I snap my fingers, “Oh! I get it now!”

Spike looks between us. “What? Can somepony please tell me why it didn’t work the first time?”

“You see, Spike, Blake gave me permission to use it. You, on the other hand, took it without asking. I figured that the watch must have an anti-theft system in place to prevent it from being used by the wrong hands! Blake actually giving you the watch removed the system, allowing you to use it!”

Spike rubs his claws together and smiles menacingly. “just imagine the pranks I could pull with that watch…”

I shake my head. “Spike, these are not toys to be carelessly tossed around. This is sensitive equipment only to be used in—” I laugh and lean back in my chair, “Ah, who am I kidding? Of course I’m gonna use them for pranks.”

Twilight smirks and rolls her eyes, going back to eating her food. “Stallions…” She mumbles under her breath.

Twilight and I make small talk about anything and everything while Spike greedily wolfs down his food. Twilight isn’t even finished with her food by the time Spike finishes his, his tongue licking the plate clean.

Twilight glares at Spike. “Spike, where are your manners?”

He burps, and then chuckles. “Sorry, Twilight. Just wanted to make sure the plate was clean.”

Twilight sighs, going back to eating her food. Once she’s done, she tilts her head to the side and smiles at Spike. “So, ready to help me test out those new spells I’ve been working on, Spike?”

Spike gets up from the table, shaking his head. “Sorry, but I promised Rarity I’d help her double check her inventory to make sure the Dogs didn’t steal any gems from her.”

“But—”

Spike runs away from the table. “SorrygottagomaybeBlakecanhelpyouinsteadbye!”

“That sly little bastard just roped us into being her test subject.”

“I want to get back at him, yet strangely want to applaud him.”

Twilight sighs before turning her gaze to me. “Blake, would you be willing to help me?” She flutters her eyelashes at me.

Looks like someone has been taking lessons from Rarity. I chuckle. “Sure, why not? I had nothing better to do today anyway.”

She claps her hands. “Perfect, just let me pay the bill—”

I flick a couple of bits on the table. “I got this.”

“Blake, you really don’t need to pay for our meal.”

I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t need to, but I am. Besides, I got more money than I know what to do with right now. Paying for a friend’s breakfast seems like a decent thing to do.”

“I…Well, thank you then.” She stands up from the table. “Come on. I know the perfect place to practice my spells near the edge of town.”

“Excellent job, Twilight.” I twirl the cane, formerly a rock, in my hand.

Twilight lead me to a nearly empty park overlooking a rolling field near the eastern edge of Ponyville. She then grabbed two seemingly ordinary rocks and told me to hold one while balancing the other on my head. Doing so, she stepped back from me and took a deep breath before a beam shot out of her horn and hit me directly in the chest, giving me a nice tuxedo.

Twilight wipes her brow. “Thanks, that spell is harder than it looks. I wanna try it one more time, though.”

I nod my head. “Go for it. I know you can do it.” As Twilight’s horn charges up, I look behind her to see Pinkie, wearing an umbrella hat, diving under anything she can find. She is constantly grabbing her tail and looking up at the sky. “Uh, what’s up with Pinkie?”

Twilight shakes her head. “Blake, please. I need total concentration if this spell is going to work.”

I see Pinkie’s tail twitch. Oh right, her Pinkie Sense. And a tail twitch meant something was going to fall. I feel the rock on my head lift up.

“Hey! I live up here! For both our sakes, you may want to move!”

I step out from under the rock just as Pinkie jumps up behind Twilight, shaking her. The rock beelines for the ground, aided by Twilight’s magic. My tuxedo disappears while the cane reverts back to a rock. “Twilight! Twilight! My tail! It’s twitch-a-twitching!”

Pinkie stops shaking Twilight long enough for her to focus her eyes. “Uh, good? I’m not really sure what a twitching tail means.”

Pinkie grabs her tail, holding it close to her body. “It’s my Pinkie Sense. A twitching tail means that something is about to fall! You and Blake may want to take some cover!”

I throw my arms over my head and glance at the sky. “Really?! You got another one of those umbrella hats I could have?”

“Yeppers!” She reaches into her hair and pulls out another hat. I snatch it and put it on.

“God, you look like an idiot.”

“And by extension, so do you.”

“Did your tail stop twitching?”

“Nope! Something is still going to fall! Hold me, Blake!” Pinkie wraps her arms around me. I don’t resist at all, eagerly wrapping my arms around her as we huddle together.

“Still looking like an idiot. God, why couldn’t you have been someone cool?”

“Pinkie, Blake, nothing is going to fall. We’re in the middle of a wide open park with not a single cloud—” A frog lands on Twilight’s face.

I look up to see Fluttershy hovering above us (Thankfully, not wearing a skirt), a cartload of frogs being pulled by her. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Twilight!”

Two more frogs jump out of the cart and land on Twilight. I throw my hands in the air and yell, “Bonus frogs!”

Twilight grabs the frogs on her and gently sets them on the ground. “I’m fine, Fluttershy, but why are you transporting all these frogs?”

Fluttershy plays with her hair. “Well, I couldn’t stand seeing all the ponds get overpopulated with frogs, so I’m moving some of them to Froggy Bottom Bog.”

“Okay, have fun!” Pinkie says.

“Oh, I most certainly will.” Fluttershy flies off, leaving us alone again.

I shrug my shoulders. “So, did your tail stop twitching?”

Pinkie nods her head. “Yeppers! Nothing else is gonna fall right now!” She bounces away, humming a little song to herself.

“Well, that was certainly something. Come on, Blake, let’s get back to practicing before anything else happens.”

I nod my head. “Sure. Ya know, I would like to predict the future like that.”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “Please, you can’t possibly believe that Pinkie has a power like that. She just happened to say something was going to fall, and it did. It was just a coincidence.”

I shake my head. “I believe that she has some power that nobody can understand. Just because I can’t see it or understand it, doesn’t mean I should ignore it. If that was the case, I’d be ignoring this entire planet right now.”

Twilight groans. “Look, can we please just get back to practicing?”

Pinkie runs back up to us. “My tail! It’s still twitching! See?” She holds up her tail. I can most definitely see it shaking. “Something else is gonna fall!”

Twilight groans and starts walking away. “Pinkie, what just happened is a coincidence. Nothing else is going to ahh!” In the process of walking away, Twilight neglected to watch where she was going and fell into a muddy ditch.

Pinkie and I walk over to the edge of the ditch. “So, willing to believe it now?”

Twilight pushes herself up. “Still just a coincidence.”

“Howdy ya’ll!” I glance over my shoulder at Applejack.

“What’s going on, Applejack?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Not much. After the events of yesterday, ah figured we all needed a day ta unwind.”

I mentally cringe. “Yeah, we all need to forget yesterday.”

Pinkie hugs me. “Ah, it’s okay, Blake! We don’t blame you for anything.”

Applejack pats me on the back. “Yeah, partner. Ya did what ya needed to do.”

I turn around to face Applejack. “I get that, but it doesn’t mean I need to like it.”

She nods her head. “Exactly.” She glances over my shoulder and raises an eyebrow. “Uh, why is Twilight in a muddy ditch?”

Pinkie grabs her tail. “Oh, my tail was twitching again.”

Applejacks eyes go wide. “Is it done twitching now?” I can hear a slight waver in her voice. Pinkie nods her head and Applejack visibly relaxes. “Good. For ah second there, ya had me worried.”

Twilight pulls herself out of the ditch, covered head to hoof in mud. “No, it’s fine. I’ll just help myself here, really.”

I hear a whistle. “She looks good covered in mud.”

“I’m doing my best to keep calm, and you ain’t helping the situation, Agent!”

“Well, you wouldn’t be in there if you listened to Pinkie in the first place.”

Applejack nods her head. “He’s right, Twilight.”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “Applejack, you can’t possibly believe in this Pinkie Sense too?”

Applejack pulls her hat down over her eyes. “Twilight, there’s just some things ya have to believe in, and one of those things is Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense. If’n her tail is twitching, you better believe something is gonna fall.”

Twilight groans. “Again, those are just coincidences. She said something was gonna fall, and a frog happened to fall from the sky around the same time. She said something was gonna fall, and I fall into a muddy ditch around the same time. There is no hard evidence to indicate Pinkie predicted those events.”

I shake my head and chuckle. “Alright, you’ll learn the hard way. Before you do anything else though, you may want to clean yourself up.”

Pinkie raises her hand. “I can take care of that! Come on, Twilight, we’ll clean you up at my place! This is sorta my fault anyway.”

Twilight nods her head. “Thank you, Pinkie.”

“Hey, I’ll see you later at the library, Twilight.”

“If’n any of ya’ll need me, ah’ll be around town.”

We each go our separate ways, Twilight and Pinkie heading to Sugercube Corner, Applejack to who knows where, and I heading to the library to read up on some history of Equestria.

The door to the library slams open, jolting me out of my riveting read on the history of the Wonderbolts. No, really. It turns out they used to be a full-fledged air force trained for combat, not the aerial stunt flyers of today. I glance at the door to see Pinkie and Twilight walk in, the former with a spring in her step. “So, Twilight, you ready to believe in the Pinkie Sense yet?”

Twilight smiles. “Yes, right after we run some tests to show that Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense is nothing more than simple superstition.” She heads over to a door and opens it up, revealing a staircase leading into the basement.

I raise an eyebrow. “And you’re actually going to let her test on you, Pinkie?”

Pinkie nods her head. “Yeah! It’ll be fun!”

Shrugging my shoulders, I stand up and follow them. The basement itself is fairly large, almost the size of the main floor of the library, with various machines and vials scattered around the room. I notice most of the machines have straps to tie down the test subject. I smirk, a nasty thought crossing my mind. “Geez, Twilight, I didn’t know you were into the kinky stuff.”

Twilight spins around, her cheeks red. “I am not into that kind of stuff! Everything in here is for science, nothing more!”

Pinkie and I laugh. “Oh, you make it too easy, Twilight! I’m only messing with you. What you do behind closed doors is your business, not mine.”

“Let’s get this fun started!” Twilight and I turn to Pinkie, who has already strapped herself to a table.

Twilight facepalms. “Pinkie, how did you even do that? Unless you’re a unicorn, you can’t possibly strap yourself down.”

I pat Twilight’s shoulder. “Let it go girl. Just run your tests, and then we will figure out if the Pinkie Sense is real.”

Twilight sighs. “Fine. The faster we run these tests, the faster we can get back to practicing my magic.” She walks over to Pinkie, placing a helmet covered in diodes with wires running off it on her head.

“I assume you’re going to study her brainwaves to find any noticeable difference from her normal activity when compared to her Pinkie Sense?”

Twilight nods her head, reading from a chart being spewed out from a machine. “Not only her brainwaves, but her magical field as well.”

I shake my head. “Ah, but of course. Can’t forget about her magic field now, can I? I mean, I can’t see it but have to accept that it’s there. How silly of me to forget about an abstract concept foreign to me.”

Twilight looks up from her chart, smiling. “It’s alright. You’re not from around here, so it makes sense you wouldn’t think of it right away.” She looks back at her chart.

“How oblivious is this pony?”

“Should I make a sarcasm sign for her? I could do it. I have some crayons stashed around here somewhere.”

I look at Pinkie, who simply shrugs her shoulders. “Okay, Pinkie, just let me know when you get a Pinkie Sense so I can get a reading on it.”

Pinkie nods her head. “Yeppers!”

Pinkie scrunches her face up in concentration as Twilight glances at multiple charts simultaneously. This goes on for what seems like forever, and I’m just about to walk up the stairs when Pinkie blurts out, “Wait! I feel something!”

Twilight snaps her attention to Pinkie. “Really?!”

Pinkie burps, and then giggles. “Sorry, false alarm. It was just gas!” Her stomach rumbles. “And hunger!”

Twilight groans. “Well, is there any way to tell when one is coming?”

“Nope! They just come and go!”

I shake my head and laugh. “Twilight, let the poor mare go. You trying to figure out Pinkie in general, no offense, is like me trying to explain quantum physics to college professors. In both cases, we look like idiots.”

Twilight sighs. With a glow of her horn, Pinkie is released from her bindings. “I can’t let this go, not without hard evidence. Pinkie, take a quick break until I set up the next test.”

I jerk my head towards the stairs. “Come on, Pinkie. I can get us something to eat while we wait.”

Pinkie leaps from the table, doing a cartwheel before stopping in front of me. “Sounds good to me.”

Just as I put my foot on the first step of the stairs, Pinkie starts violently twitching and shuddering, falling to the floor.

Twilight rushes over. “What happened?!”

I grip the sides of my head, running my hands through my hair. “How should I know?! She was fine just ten seconds ago!”

Twilight places two of her fingers on Pinkie’s neck. “Pinkie?! Pinkie?! Can you hear me?!” Twilight looks up at me. “She’s got a pulse, but we still need to get her to the hospital! Blake, grab her—”

Pinkie’s eyes shoot open, causing Twilight and I to jump back. Dammit, this girl is going to kill me one of these days! She pops up from the ground

Pinkie shudders. “Ooh, that one was a doozy!”

“Pinkie, what was that?” Twilight asks.

Pinkie tilts her head and rubs her chin. “Hmm, I’m not sure what Pinkie Sense that was,” Twilight groans at this, “but it was a real doozy.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Is there at least anything you can understand from this Sense?”

“All I know is that something big is gonna happen at Froggy Bottom Bog, and it’s gonna be bad!”

I grasp Pinkie’s shoulders and stare into her eyes. “Froggy Bottom Bog?! Isn’t that where Fluttershy is?!”

“I’m sure she’s fine, Blake.”

Pinkie gasps. “Oh my gosh, you’re right! We need to go check on her!”

“Come on! Every second wasted here is another Fluttershy could be in danger!”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “Fine, we’ll go check on Fluttershy, but only to prove to you both that this is all nonsense.”

“Says the talking magical unicorn.”

We all sprint up the stairs. I’m the first one to barrel out the front door to the library, nearly falling over Applejack. “Woah, what’s the rush there, Blake?”

I grab her shoulders. “It’s Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense! Something big and bad is gonna happen at Froggy Bottom Bog, where Fluttershy is!”

Applejack’s eyes widen. “Say no more! We gotta get there!”

I sidestep Applejack, rushing by her. “You ain’t telling me anything I haven’t already said!”

“Uh, Froggy Bottom Bog is this way!”

I about face, seeing everyone else running in the opposite direction of me. I sprint to catch back up with them. “I didn’t know that but now I do!”

We reached Froggy Bottom Bog with no trouble. Now comes the fun part of trudging through it to find Fluttershy. “Fluttershy! Fluttershy!” I call out to the surrounding area, straining to hear any response. I look around for any sign of yellow or pink that stands out from the dull, foggy landscape around me. It doesn’t help that plenty of low hanging trees obscure my vision.

“Oh, I hope she’s alright,” Pinkie says.

“Ah’m sure she’s fine, sugercube. Fluttershy! Fluttershy!”

Twilight groans from behind me. “How do we know she hasn’t already left and is back at her home?”

I shake my head, my hand hovering over the Ambassador. “We don’t, but I still want to check just to be sure.”

“Do you think she exp—”

I slap my hand over Pinkie’s mouth. “Shh, be quiet. Listen.” Everyone freezes. Over all other sounds, I can make out the faint sound of someone singing and the croaking of frogs. “Do you hear it?”

“Is that…”

I nod my head. “Singing. We’re getting close, people.”

Pinkie pulls my hand away from her mouth. “Fluttershy! Fluttershy!”

Before I can stop her, Pinkie runs off towards what I’m assuming to be Fluttershy. Applejack tries to grab her, but Pinkie spins out of her reach and keeps going. “Pinkie, get back here!” Applejack sprints off after her.

“This is how people die in horror movies. They just broke almost every rule in the book!”

I motion for Twilight to follow. “Come on, we can’t lose them!”

“Right!”

Twilight and I run after them, trying to keep up. We burst out of the tree line, coming to a large swamp area. Standing on a little stretch of land separating two inlets of water is Fluttershy, with Pinkie hugging her and Applejack standing off to the side. “Fluttershy! Thank God you’re okay!”

Fluttershy turns to us, Pinkie still clinging to her. “Twilight? Blake? What are you all doing here? And why wouldn’t I be okay?”

Twilight and I walk over. I can’t help but notice that Twilight has a shit-eating grin on her face the entire time. “Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense told us something bad was gonna happen here, but I don’t rightly see anything wrong,” Applejack explains.

“Well, I hate to say it, but…” Twilight thrusts her fist in the air, “Ha! I told you your ‘Pinkie Sense’ is nothing more than coincidence! There is no logical way a pony should be able to predict the future!”

I turn to Twilight, my fists clenched. “Okay, enough of this! Twilight, give it a rest! Pinkie does have something that we will never be able to see, feel, or understand!”

Twilight turns to me, her eyes going wide. She slowly backs up towards everyone else. “Blake…”

“No, let me finish! I don’t understand most of the things in this world, like magic or someone being able to control the sun, but do I beat myself up or my friends trying to understand it?! No! I accept that it is there, and while I may never understand it, I at least acknowledge that it is there and that it works! If I can do it, so can you!”

“Blake!” Applejack shouts.

“What?!” I turn my gaze to her, only for her to point behind me. I raise an eyebrow, noticing that things have gotten a little darker. I slowly turn my head, seeing a towering, four-headed hydra staring down at us. “Oh, fuck me with a shovel.”

I hear someone gulp. “Should we run?” Pinkie asks.

I nod my head, drawing the Ambassador. “Run, run, run, run!” I scream, running towards the girls while blind firing over my shoulder.

“Ya don’t have to tell me twice!”

A massive roar from behind me spurs everyone to run faster. Coming to a muddy incline, we all scramble up it, some with more success with others. I reach the top first and start pulling them up once they’re within reach. I see the hydra struggling to free itself from the goopy swamp water. As I pull up Fluttershy, I fire a few more rounds at it. After she’s up, I turn around to see Pinkie, Applejack, and Fluttershy leaping onto the pillars of stone to cross a chasm.

“Blake!”

I spin around to grab Twilight’s outstretched hand. Looking up, I see the free Hydra now gaining on us. “Come on, we gotta go now!” Turning, I run towards the chasm, leaping from pillar to pillar to safety. Reaching the other side, I turn around to see Twilight still on the other side. She backs up, getting ready to take a running leap, just as the hydra comes up behind her. The middle-left head dives towards her.

“Twilight, look out!” Pinkie yells.

Twilight glances behind her, diving to the side just in the nick of time. The head smashes into the ground, knocking the first pillar and part of the cliff off. The hydra staggers back, the other three heads laughing. Twilight gets up, looking at us. “I can’t make it!” She yells over.

Pinkie arms shake, along with her ears folding back and her left leg twitching. “Twilight, you have to jump!”

“Are you crazy?!”

“Trust me!”

Twilight shakes her head, turning her back to us. “We have ta do something!”

I toss Applejack the Diamondback. “Applejack, catch!” She grabs it out of the air. “Know how to work it?”

“Ah seen you use it enough! What ah don’t know, ah can figure out!”

With a battle cry, Twilight charges the hydra and vice versa. “Give Twilight some covering fire!” Applejack and I fire at the hydra, but most of our bullets are absorbed by its think skin. Twilight runs right between the legs of the hydra. The right head follows her, tripping its entire body over its own neck. Seeing her chance, Twilight starts running back towards us. I shout over the gunfire, “Get up on the hydra’s back!”

“What would that do?” Fluttershy asks.

I reload my empty clip. “No idea, but it’s what people commonly say in times like this!”

As Twilight nears the cliff face, Pinkie cups her hands over her mouth. “You have to take a leap of faith, Twilight! Jump!”

The middle-right head of the hydra slams the ground next to her, launching the part of the ground she’s on closer to a pillar. She leaps, only to fall short of the pillar. We run to our side of the chasm. “Twilight!”

I watch as she lands on a gas bubble far below. Surprisingly, it holds her weight and launches her back up towards the pillar, landing perfectly in the center of it. With no hesitation, she leaps the rest of the way to us as the hydra roars. We don’t give Twilight time to get her bearings as we all hug her.

Breaking out of the hug, I pat Twilight’s shoulder. “That was amazing!”

“Oh, I’m so happy you’re okay!” Fluttershy flaps her wings in excitement.

Applejack shakes her fist at the hydra. “Ha! Take that ya varmit! Ain’t getting an easy meal outta us!” She hands me the Diamondback, which I hostler. The hydra heads back into the swamp, grumbling about its lost meal.

Twilight smiles and shakes her head. “I don’t know how you knew, Pinkie, but you knew a doozy was going to happen here, and I say that this was one massive doozy.”

“You know, I have to question the word doozy. Who really says it anymore?”

“Apparently, they do. I could see Pinkie saying it often, but Twilight?”

Pinkie has another massive sense, the same one from back at the library. Fluttershy and Applejack look at me. “Doozy sense,” They say at the same time.

I nod my head. “Doozy sense.”

Pinkie shakes her head. “That wasn’t it.”

Twilight tilts her head. “What do you mean?”

“The hydra. It wasn’t the doozy.” Pinkie puts a hand to her chin. “Whatever the doozy is, it’s still gonna happen.”

Twilight’s eye twitches. “The hydra wasn’t the doozy?! How can it not be the doozy?! What could be dozier than that?!”

“Ah’m not sure, Twilight.”

Fluttershy plays with her hair. “I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t want to see it. Unless somepony else wants to.”

I shrug my shoulders. “It could be anything really. It all depends on our personal views and experiences to classify what one would consider a doozy. To me, that experience was since I have never encountered a hydra before in my lifetime. To someone who’s been around them enough, it’s another story.”

Pinkie nods her head. “Exactly what Blake said. Whatever the doozy was, it wasn’t the hydra.”

Twilight grips the side of her head. With a scream, she throws her hands down. Her hair and tail burst into flames. Pinkie holds a stick with a marshmallow on it out towards Twilight’s hair. After a couple of seconds, she pulls out the now flaming marshmallow. She blows on it before stuffing it in her mouth. “Toasty!”

Twilight’s fire goes out. I’m surprised that her clothes didn’t catch fire, but hey, magic. She slumps down to the ground. “I believe.”

I cup a hand over my ear and leans towards Twilight, a smirk on my face. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I believe in Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense.”

I turn to everyone else. “Did you hear that? She believes in the Pinkie Sense! It’s a miracle! Better break out the winter gear again cause it’s going to snow tomorrow! In case you can’t tell, this is sarcasm, Twilight!”

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking, what made you change your mind?”

Twilight throws her hands out. “All of this. Everything Pinkie Sense has predicted has come true. I don’t know how or why, but Pinkie Sense actually works. It makes sense, even though I can’t understand it. Just because I can’t see it or understand it, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

I cross my arms. “So, you truly believe in the Pinkie Sense and what it can do?” Twilight nods her head. I look over at Pinkie, raising an eyebrow. “Well?”

Pinkie goes through the reverse of what happens for a doozy. She gasps. “That was it! That was the doozy!”

“What was?” Applejack asks.

“Twilight believing! I never expected for that to happen, not in a million, trillion years!”

I snap my fingers and laugh. “And again, I am right!”

Twilight glares at me, poking me in the chest. “You knew?!”

I shake my head, taking a step back. “No, I had a hunch. The doozy would have to be something no one would expect, ergo, you believing in Pinkie Sense. It’s a concept so abstract that you, one of the most analytical and logical minds of Equestria, would most likely never believe in.”

Twilight sighs. “You’re right, I would have never believed in it if today didn’t happen. I just wish I would have known this sooner so we could’ve avoided all this.”

I scoff. “Please, did I need to spell it out for you? I’ve been dropping hints to this lesson all day.”

Twilight raises an eyebrow. “Really? When?”

“My outburst about five minutes ago, back in the library during your tests on Pinkie, when we both had our first encounter with Pinkie Sense, and when you examined the Dead Ringer.”

Twilight waves her hands in front of her, shaking her head. “Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me that was your first encounter with Pinkie Sense too? How come you were so accepting of it?”

I turn to Fluttershy and Applejack, noticing Pinkie standing off to the side with a carton of popcorn. “First, let’s start with Applejack and Fluttershy. When you first encountered the Pinkie Sense, what were your reactions?”

Applejack tilts her head back, scratching the side of her head. “Well, ah reckon I felt like Twilight at first, being highly doubtful of Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense. After seeing it in action a couple of time, I guess I sorta learned to accept it. Ah don’t fully understand it, but it’s there.”

Fluttershy nods her head. “I felt the same way. Pinkie may have an ability that we don’t have, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore it.”

I nod my head, turning back to Twilight. “I will admit, I really want to understand Pinkie Sense down to its very core.”

“Then why weren’t you like me today, trying to figure it out?”

“Because we know what the Pinkie Sense is because you’re all from a television show that we’ve watched before? Seems legit.”

I sigh. “Because, I quickly learned upon coming to Equestria that there are many things I will have to accept. For example, magic. I can’t see it or understand how it works, but I accept that it’s there. I guess that I accepted Pinkie Sense so easily because I accepted so many things about Equestria already, why not add another thing to that list?”

“Well, I guess that makes sense. You did have to accept a lot of things here.” Twilight sighs, a small smile on her face. “I’m sorry for putting you through all this, Blake.”

I shake my head. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, but I’ll accept in nonetheless.”

Twilight turns to Pinkie, giving her a hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe your Pinkie Sense sooner, Pinkie.”

“Aww, it’s okay, Twilight. You were only being yourself in your pursuit of knowledge. Besides, you’re not the first pony to try and understand my Pinkie Sense.”

We all look at Pinkie. I raise an eyebrow. “Really?”

“How come we ain’t ever heard of this before?”

Pinkie shrugs her shoulders. “Silly, I haven’t seen them since they got those nifty white jackets with all the buckles and locks to wear!”

Twilight rubs the back of her head, a sheepish smile on her face. “Okay, wow. Glad I got pulled back before I got that far.”

Pinkie starts happily skipping away. “Come on! Since this all happened because of my Pinkie Sense, I’ll buy us all something sweet! It’ll be my treat!” She giggles, “Hey, that rhymed! Maybe I should take over for Zecora!”

I shrug my shoulders. “I got nothing better to do. And hey, free food! Yo, Pinkie, wait up!” I run to catch up with Pinkie. After everything that Twilight just put me through, I at least deserve something from this.

Green Isn’t Your Color or Unf, Nuff Said

“Permanent Vacation”

Green Isn’t Your Color or Unf, Nuff Said

I groan. “Dammit! And this was one of my favorite shirts too!” As I was pulling out a t-shirt with the design of the TARDIS front doors, it caught on the corner of the drawer and ripped a large hole down the side of it.

“I really want to laugh at your misfortune right now, but can’t bring myself to do it since I liked that shirt too.”

I hold up the shirt, the hole running the length of the left side. “I can’t wear this now! I’ll look like a freaking idiot in public with this! How am I supposed to get this fixed?”

“Uh, hello? There’s one very gorgeous tailor in town who would probably fix this for free. Let’s go mooch off her generosity!”

I frown. “Really now, mooching off a friend?”

“Oh please, don’t act like you haven’t done it before.”

I shake my head, throwing on another t-shirt with the Aperture Science logo and slogan on it on. I grab the torn shirt. “I’m not saying that. It’s just that I don’t want to rely on them for everything that happens in my life.”

“They’re our friends. We should be able to go to them when any issue or problem arises.”

I raise an eyebrow as I walk out the front door. “Shouldn’t our roles be reversed in this scenario? Usually I’m the one who’s trying to get you to see my point of view.”

“Oh God!”

I chuckle as I head towards Carousel Boutique. “Maybe I should start making sexual innuendoes, see how you like it?”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Hmm, maybe Rainbow likes her meat thick and— Hey! Wait a minute!” I facepalm. Can’t believe I almost walked into that!

“Ha! Almost had you there!”

I groan. “Alright, alright, you had your fun. Can I enjoy my walk now?”

“Yeah, sure. I got some important work to do anyway. And before you ask, don’t ask or I’ll have to kill you, which will kill me, so… Don’t ask.”

The rest of my trip is spent in peace and quiet. It’s such a beautiful day out that I can’t understand how anyone could stay indoors, let alone hate it. Upon reaching Carousel Boutique, I push open the door, a little bell announcing my arrival. It seems I am not the only one to visit Rarity today since Twilight, Spike, and Fluttershy are here as well. I double take at the sight of Fluttershy in a beautiful flowing dress that still accentuates her natural curves, whistling under my breath the entire time. “Damn…” I shake myself out of my stupor.

“Oh, hello there, Blake. You’re just in time to witness my newest fashion line take off around Equestria! Of course, none of this would be possible with the help of Fluttershy.”

I nod my head, looking at Fluttershy. “You look great, Shy. You ever think of being a professional model, because I can see you being one.”

Fluttershy blushes and hides behind her hair. “Really? You asking Fluttershy, the shyest mare around, if she ever wanted to be a professional model?” Twilight says.

I shrug my shoulders. “Hey, just thought I’d ask.”

Rarity looks at the clock on the wall. “Oh, would you look at the time! Photo Finish is bound to be here any minute!”

Twilight and I tilt our heads to the side. “Photo Finish?”

“She is only the most influential photographer in all of Equestria. She can make or break an entire fashion line in minutes.”

I jerk my head towards Fluttershy. “So that’s why you’re having Shy here. She is modeling your line, right?” Rarity nods her head. “So what are these two doing here?” I point at Twilight and Spike.

Twilight motions to herself. “I’m here because Rarity wanted a second opinion on her newest line.”

Spike shrugs his shoulders. “I’m here cause, ya know, whatever.” I smirk. Way to act cool there, Spike.

“Now that you’re here, Blake, could you give me your opinion on Fluttershy’s outfit?” Rarity bats her eyelashes at me, earning a scowl from Spike.

I stare at Fluttershy, who shifts uncomfortably in my gaze. I rub my chin. “I can’t offer much, just that it looks great. Sorry I can’t offer more.”

Rarity sighs. “Well, it was worth a shot I guess,” Her eyes glance at the shirt in my hand, “Do you need something, dearie?”

I hold the shirt out. “Yeah, I found out this shirt has a hole in it. Could you fix it up when you have the time?”

Rarity opens up the shirt, her fingers poking up through the hole. “Of course I can fix this. I’ll have it done for you right away.”

“Great,” I reach into my pocket and pull out some bits, “How much do I owe you for this?”

Rarity waves her hand. “Please, keep your money. I’m more than happy to do this for free.”

“Rarity, I desperately want to pay you for this.”

Rarity sighs. “Oh, if you insist. How about say… ten bits for my time?”

I hold out the bits. “Deal.”

She magically levitates them as the door to the Boutique slams open, causing everyone to turn to the noise. Standing there is a… I’m gonna say a pale cerulean mare with greyish hair being flanked by two other mares. “I, Photo Finish… Have Arrived.” Although Rarity can’t see it, I smirk at the feeling of bits going into my back pocket.

Rarity rushes out in front of us. “Miss Photo Finish, it is such a pleasure that you could make it. I am looking forward –”

Photo holds her hand up. “Neit! A photo shoot is what I am here for, not zis small talk!” Photo snaps her finger. One of her entourage runs to her side, carrying a tripod mounted camera. Photo practically bowels over Twilight, Spike, and I to setup her camera in front of Fluttershy. Stepping back, she looks up at Fluttershy. “Now we make… DE MAGIKS! BEGIN!”

“Give us something fierce, Fluttershy!” Rarity encourages Fluttershy from the sidelines.

Fluttershy strikes a pose, only for Photo to shake her head. “No! Ze beauty is lost, gone forever!” Fluttershy hangs her head, looking away from us while rubbing her arm. I notice Photo’s eyebrows rise. “Perfect.” Her camera clicks away in a rapid fire pace.

I clap my hands and whoop. “Work that dress, girl! Pretend you’re with your animal friends and show us some happiness!”

A serene smile crosses Fluttershy’s face as she does a little twirl, sashaying back and forth while humming to herself. Photo groans. “Stop! Zis is unacceptable! Nopony wants to see zis!” Fluttershy shrinks back from Photo’s outburst. She places her hands behind her back and looks at the ground, lightly kicking at the stage with her hoof. Again, Photo’s camera goes off to capture the moment.

Twilight claps her hands. “You’re doing great, Fluttershy! Give us—”

Photo claps her hands, one of the aides rushing up to pack up the camera. “Ze moment is gone. We shoot in ze park later. And now… I GO!” She strides out the door, her aides right behind her.

We stand there, staring at the door, till Fluttershy breaks the silence. “Um… Am I the only one who thinks that didn’t go so well?”

Spike shakes his head. “You ain’t the only one, Shy.”

I scoff and cross my arms. “Bitch…” I mumble under my breath.

“What was that, Blake?” Twilight asks.

“I called her a bitch behind her back.”

Rarity flinches slightly. “While I will admit Photo Finish did seem a little… harsh in her judgments, she was only doing her job.”

I shake my head. “I get that it’s her job to judge fashion lines, but does she really have to come off as being harsh?” I sigh and hold up a hand, “Don’t answer that.”

Rarity frowns and glances at the door. “Oh, I do hope she liked my designs.”

“Well, Photo did want to do another shoot in the park so she must have seen something she liked.”

I head towards the door. “Well, I ain’t sticking around any longer. I wish you the best of luck today, Rarity and Fluttershy.”

“Thank you, dearie. I’ll be sure to return your clothes to you when I’m finished with them.”

I stop at the frame of the door, smirking. “And Rarity?”

“Hmm?”

I reach into my back pocket and fish out the bits Rarity put there, casually flicking them over my shoulder. “You may want to raise your pickpocketing skill a bit more next time, mkay?” Before Rarity can protest, I walk out the door and head for home. I may as well spend the rest of the day making a dessert or two from that cookbook of Pinkie’s.

Within the following weeks, Fluttershy skyrocketed to the top of the fashion model world. Thanks to Photo Finish, she became the envy of mares everywhere and the object of affection for many a stallion. And I must include myself in the latter part of that statement, which is why I’m sprinting to the magazine stand set up in town this early in the morning. The latest photo shoot of Fluttershy just came out last night in the Caterlot Inquirer, and I wanted to be the first person to get a copy before they sold out… Again.

“I told you we should have been camping out for this!”

“Doesn’t matter, there isn’t a line here yet!”

I rush up to the stand right as the stallion running the joint opens up for business. I snatch a copy of the Canterlot Inquirer and slam some bits on the counter. “One copy of the Canterlot Inquirer!”

The stallion flinches slightly from my shout while taking the offered bits. “Thank you. Have a—”

I clutch the magazine to my chest. “Yeah, sure, don’t care, thanks, bye!” I practically skip home with my prize in hand. It doesn’t take me long to get there and promptly lock myself in my room for the next few hours. Which is probably what I would have done if I didn’t show some self-restraint and stash the magazine in a desk drawer.

“Aww. But I wanted to have some fun tonight!”

I shake my head and laugh. “You should know the buildup is the best part. We’ll get to it eventually.”

“Fine, but what do you intend to do for the rest of the day?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I’m thinking of breaking out some classic games today. Any suggestions?”

“How far back are we talking here?”

I open my closet door and pull out some boxes filled with classic games and systems. “Anything from the PlayStation Two and back.”

“We limited on the number of games?”

“Eh, depends on the games in question.”

“Then I suggest one of the overlooked games from the Nintendo Sixty-Four.”

After putting the other boxes away, I grab the box with the Sixty-Four inside and carry it to the living room. “And that would be what, since many a game was overlooked.”

“From Rare comes a game that you couldn’t beat as a child, has a dog in a tank suit, and bug blood splattering across planets in the galaxy, it’s—”

I smirk and setup the system, nodding my head in approval. “Jet Force Gemini. Nice! I haven’t played that in a long time!”

“Exactly! Now fire that bad boy up and let’s squash some bugs!”

Even though I’ve been away from it for a while, the control scheme quickly came back to me as I rampaged across the galaxy. Of course, there were a few bumps in my journey but that is to be expected with anything. I throw my hands up in the air and shout over my latest conquest, a giant slug like drone in a tunnel of lava. The best part? I killed it with the weakest weapon in the game, an empty pistol with blanks for ammo. “That’s how we do it!”

“That wasn’t skill and you know it!”

I save my progress so far just as a barely perceptible knock comes from the front door. “Coming!” I shut down the game and head to the front door. Opening it, I see Fluttershy in a hoodie with the hood up and sunglasses covering her eyes. “What’s up, Fluttershy?”

She flinches slightly, looking behind her for something. “Um… Can I talk with you inside? Please?”

“Score!”

I step off the side and motion inside. “Yes, you may. Have a seat in the kitchen.”

She rushes inside. Before I shut the door, I glance around outside. Not a single soul on the streets. Heading into the kitchen, I go over to the stove and fire up one of the burners. Placing a tea kettle on it, I turn to Fluttershy. “Would you like some tea? I got chai, chamomile, and green tea, all from the personal suggestion of Celestia.” It’s true. Celestia sent me some from someplace in Canterlot to, as she put it in her letter, relax my possibly frayed nerves.

“Oh, green tea will be fine. Um…” She looks out the window, “Can you close the curtains, please? If you want to, that is.”

I raise an eyebrow, but don’t object. After that, I go to a cabinet and pull out two teacups, letting our respective drinks seep into the water. Placing Fluttershy’s cup in front of her, I take my seat across from her. “So, what’s on your mind?” I calmly take a sip of my tea.

She pulls the hood down and takes off the glasses, sighing the entire time. “You’ve heard about my latest career choice, right?” She takes a sip of her tea, visibly relaxing as its soothing properties affect her.

I nod my head. “Yes, I’ve heard of the rise of Equestria’s next top model. You’re all the rage in the headlines right now, and for good reason.”

“Well… You see… I…” She mumbles something under her breath.

I lean forward in my seat. “What was that?

She shrinks away. “I really…” Again, more mumbling.

“One more time, only this time a bit louder.”

Her head shoots up. “I really hate being a model!”

I lean back in my seat, taking another sip of my tea. “And why is that? You’re most likely getting paid a pretty penny, you get to travel the world, and you’re an idol to some. So, what’s there to hate?”

Fluttershy throws her hand out. “Everything! I hate being the center of attention and I don’t get to spend any time to myself or with my friends anymore! I’m so frustrated I could yell!” She takes a deep breath before letting out the quietest scream in existence.

“My god, that was adorably cute.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Better?”

She sighs. “No. But I don’t know what to do anymore.”

I lean forward. “Well, why don’t you just quit? It’s not like you’re being forced to stay a model, unless you signed a contract.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t, and not because of a contract. Rarity would be so upset that I’m not staying a model after all the support she’s given me.”

I bite my lip and look away. I could just tell her how Rarity feels about this and get it over with. But… the Pinkie Promise weighs heavily on my mind.

“You made no such promise, so you should be good.”

“Are you willing to take that risk? What if Rarity already told Twilight her feelings? I could create an issue right there since, in some way, I would be breaking a Pinkie Promise! Rarity would assume Twilight said something and wouldn’t trust her anymore!”

“FOREVER! Hey, my voice is all echoey in here! Echo, echo!”

My eyes widen. “Holy shit.”

“I’m really fucking scared now.”

“You still willing to take that risk now?”

“I’m just gonna huddle in the corner for a while, armed to the teeth with weapons while calling the exorcist.”

I rub my chin in thought, falling back to my old motto of everything in life has a loophole. There has got to be a loophole for this Pinkie Promise somewhere, I just gotta figure out what. I mentally snap my fingers. If I get Fluttershy to confront Rarity with her feelings, then the Pinkie Promise won’t be broken because I never revealed Rarity’s feelings! “Fluttershy, have you actually asked Rarity how she feels about your modeling career?”

“Well, no. Should I?”

I nod my head. “Yes. Rarity is our friend. She wants us to be happy with everything we do, and should support us no matter what our decision should be. Rarity is trying to make you happy by helping you in any way she can. If you aren’t happy modeling, I’m sure Rarity would understand.”

Fluttershy brushes her hair out of her eyes. “You really think so?”

I nod my head. “Positive. We all want to see each other happy and will do anything to help others be happy.”

Fluttershy looks down at her tea. “But what if Rarity wants me to keep being a model?”

I grab her hand and squeeze it, causing her to look at me. “I can promise that Rarity will not do or say anything like that.”

“Pinkie Promise?”

“Do it and you sign your death wish.”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I do the motions for each line.

“Welp, it was nice knowing ya!”

“Should I go talk to her now?”

I nod. “Yes. The sooner this is resolved, the better for everyone.”

Fluttershy rubs her arm. “Um, could you come with me? Please?” She looks half at me, half at the wall.

I down the rest of my tea. “Sure, Rarity should be done with my shirt anyway. And I could help you disguise yourself better so we don’t run into any paparazzi along the way.”

She looks directly at me. “Really?”

I smirk. “Do you really doubt me? Finish up your drink while I get something.” Standing up, I head into my room and grab my disguise kit. Heading back, I slide it across the table towards Fluttershy. “Use my disguise kit till we reach the Boutique.”

She gingerly picks up the kit and opens it up. She looks up from her disguise selection. “Um, who should I choose?”

I drum my fingers on the table. “If we’re gonna make this believable, we need someone who could logically be seen with me, who wouldn’t be walking around town at this hour less we run into them, and who you can imitate.”

She looks down at the screen. “How about Spike?” I notice the slightest hint of excitement in her voice, possibly from the fact she’d get to be a dragon, in the figurative sense.

I rock my head back and forth. “Eh, possible. But can you imitate his mannerisms?”

“No. I mean, I haven’t tried to…”

“Then how about Big Mac? He’s probably in the fields working, could be seen with me, and the only two words you really have to say are eeyup and eenope.”

“If it’s okay with you, I really want to try being Spike.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Okay then, go for it. Just let me do most of the talking then.”

She goes to press the disguise, but pauses, her finger hovering over the screen. “What if I can’t do it? What if I’m discovered?”

I smile. “I have faith in you, Shy. If you say you can do it, I believe you. Besides, I’ll be right beside you every step of the way.”

With a smile on her face, she presses the screen, the mask popping out the bottom. She slowly pulls it on over her head. I raise an eyebrow as nothing changes.

“Um, did it work?” Her hands shoot to her mouth. “Oh my, it really did! I sound just like Spike!”

I scratch the back of my head. “Agent, care to explain?”

“After our little test with Twilight, I modified the kit so that you wouldn’t be affected by anyone else wearing a disguise so we don’t have any friendly fire incidents.”

“Smart man.”

I shrug my shoulders. “You still sound the same, but that’s supposed to happen. Well, for me at least.”

She tilts her head. “Then how do you know if it’s working?”

“We don’t, but I have the Cloak and Dagger with as backup for us.”

“Okay, if you say it’s working, then I believe you.”

I chuckle. “Trust me, people will only see Spike walking down the street. After all, you should look like him.”

“Really?!”

I hold my hands up, motioning for her to calm down. “Relax, take a deep breath before we go any further.”

“Oh, um, sorry.”

I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms. “Spike? You’re starting to act like Fluttershy there.”

She looks directly at me. “Oh. Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I got a little carried away?”

I nod my head. “Better, but try to keep your pitch and tone of voice the same. You got a little higher pitched at the end.” She starts to hang her head, but I hold my hands out and shake them. “No, you’re doing great. Just let me do most of the talking along the way, okay?”

She nods her head. “Can we get going? I feel weird wearing this. Not that I don’t like it, it’s just… strange.”

I jerk my head towards the door. Heading over to it, I open it and glance outside. A few ponies here and there, but nothing too extreme. Leaning back in, I whisper, “Just follow my lead and stay close to me.” She nods her head.

We left, waving to the couple of ponies already out and about. Fluttershy handled that really well, though she couldn’t hide the flinch every time she had to wave back. I thought passing the library would be the hardest part since, ya know, Spike lives there and all, but fate seems to be going my way today.

“This is actually kind of… Fun, in a way.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh really? Why, if I may ask?”

Fluttershy sighs. “For once, I get to be somepony else, not the shy, quiet pushover to everypony. Some days, I wish to be somepony different, if only for a day. With this disguise, I can do just that.”

I point down an alley. “Down there, now.” Fluttershy is hesitant to follow me at first, but rushes up beside me anyway. With nobody looking down the alley, I reach out and lift the mask from her face.

She gasps. “Blake, what are you—”

I place a finger to her lips. “Hush. I’m going to tell you something right now, and I want you to listen.” I cup her chin, “Don’t ever change who you really are.”

“But—”

I hold up the mask. “Do you see this mask? That’s all it is, a mask. This allows you to be somebody else, maybe even the person you want to be. But you really hide yourself from the world. With the mask on, I can see everybody. But without it, I only see one you, the beautiful, kind, and caring mare that I am proud to call my friend.”

Fluttershy sniffles, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “But, I want to be somepony brave, somepony like Rainbow Dash.”

I brush some hair out of her eyes. “Were you afraid when you faced that dragon up on the mountain?” She nods her head. “You still stood up to it, didn’t you?” Again, her head nods. “That right there is true bravery, being able to face your fears, something that not many can do. It’s what makes you the strongest of all of us.”

Fluttershy wraps her arms around me, still sniffling. “Thank you. I… I never thought of it like that before.”

I return the hug until she calms down and steps back. I put my hand on her shoulder. “You’re welcome, truly. What did you learn today?”

She wipes her eyes. “I learned to not try to change myself to be somepony I’m not.”

I nod my head. “Good. Understand though that it’s okay to have some changes, but never fully change who you are to make someone else happy, okay?” She nods her head and I hand her back the mask. “Now, let’s go see Rarity.”

We walk out of the alley, Fluttershy holding her head high. The market seems to have picked up since my trip this morning. Ponies bustle around, grabbing daily necessities for the coming days. Other ponies, however, are scanning the streets, cameras in hand. I glance at Fluttershy every so often to see how she’s doing, which is surprisingly well. “We’re almost there, then we can finally resolve this.”

“Good morning, Blake! I see you managed to get Spike up.”

Fluttershy and I freeze. Oh, you have got to be kidding me! Taking a deep breath, I turn around and smile. “Twilight! A good morning to you too! What brings you out here?”

“I’m picking up some food and supplies for the library. But now that Spike is here,” Twilight looks at Fluttershy, presumably at the height where Spike would normally be standing, “Would you care for a treat from Sugercube Corner, Spike?”

I mentally cross my fingers, praying that Fluttershy is able to properly mimic Spike. Fluttershy shakes her head. “Sorry, Twilight, but Blake and I already went to Sugercube Corner this morning.”

Twilight nods her head. “Okay then. Do you at least want to help me finish my shopping?”

I can’t believe Twilight is actually buying this! I really want to see how far we can go with this, but I need to nip this conversation in the bud right now. “Actually, Twilight, Spike and I are on our way to Rarity’s to see if she needs help with anything.”

Twilight smiles and rolls her eyes. “Alright, just make sure you don’t get into any trouble.”

I smirk. “What are you, my mother?” We all laugh. “Don’t worry, Twilight, I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Twilight walks off, waving over her shoulder. “Okay, have fun you two!”

Fluttershy and I wave back. “You know it!” Once Twilight is out of hearing range, I relax. “That was a little too close.”

Fluttershy giggles. “I can’t believe that worked.”

“Yeah, I know. Now, let’s get out of here before someone else talks to us. Or before Twilight gets home and finds Spike still sleeping.”

We leave the now bustling marketplace behind us. The market must be the hotspot today, since the rest our trip is devoid of life, save for a couple of ponies here and there. As the Boutique comes into sight, I glance at Fluttershy. “So, you ready to tell your feelings to Rarity?”

She glances up towards the Boutique, rubbing her arm. She looks at me before nodding her head. “As long as you’re there to support me.”

I chuckle. “If I didn’t want to help you, I wouldn’t be here. Now, I’m sure you’re eager to get rid of that disguise, so let’s go inside and finish this.” Opening the door, we step inside.

“Coming!” Rarity yells from upstairs. She comes down the steps, smiling even brighter at the sight of us. “Spike! Blake! How nice to see both of you! Sorry I haven’t been particularly social lately. I’ve… Had a lot on my mind lately with my latest fashion line.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Hey, it’s cool. I’m just checking up on my shirt from before.”

Rarity tilts her head to the side. “Hmm?” Her eyes widen. “Oh, yes, of course. Sorry I wasn’t able to return it to you sooner.” She levitates the folded shirt over from a table in the corner of the room. “Here you go, dearie, good as new.”

I raise an eyebrow as I pat the shirt. “And I trust I’m not gonna find ten bits hiding in it somewhere, am I?”

Rarity chuckles. “Of course not, dearie. After you insisted I keep them, I put them towards Fluttershy and I’s weekly spa trip.”

Time to test the waters here. “Well, I hope the trip was relaxing and rejuvenating for the both of you.”

Rarity sighs. “It was, but I wish Fluttershy was there. She’s been so busy with her modeling career that there really isn’t any time for us anymore, even though the only reason—”

I hold my hand out. “Hold on a second now. Rarity, could I talk to you in the kitchen?”

“I don’t see why not.” She leads me to her kitchen, out of earshot of Fluttershy. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”

“Whatever you hear after this talk, I want you to promise me you won’t get mad.”

She tilts her head. “Whatever do you mean?”

I place a hand on her shoulder. “Please, promise me this.”

She sighs. “Alright, dearie, I promise to not get upset.”

I nod my head. “Good. Now, let’s go back to Spike.” Going back into the main room, Fluttershy looks at us while shifting uneasily from hoof to hoof. “Fluttershy, you wanted to say something to Rarity?”

“Fluttershy?” Rarity gasps as Fluttershy takes off the disguise. “Fluttershy! Whatever were you doing disguised as Spike?”

Fluttershy sighs. “Rarity, I don’t…” She hesitates, glancing towards me. I smile and nod my head, prompting her to continue, “I don’t want to be a model anymore.” She closes her eyes and tenses up.

“But Fluttershy dear, why ever would you want to quit? I thought you loved it.”

“No. I hate every single thing about it. I never get any time alone anymore, I can’t spend time with my friends, and I can’t even go out in public without everypony harassing me!”

“Don’t forget about the massive amount of publicity you’re getting throughout Equestria, which is why the magazine stand is the most popular place in town.” Hey, I figured I needed to chime in on this.

Fluttershy throws her hand towards me. “See?”

Rarity hangs her head. “I had no idea you felt like that, Fluttershy.” I raise an eyebrow. Being shy is kinda her things. Seriously, it’s in her name for God’s sake. How could you miss it?

Fluttershy gasps. “Oh my. Rarity, I’m so sorry for making you upset. Oh, I never should have said anything.”

Rarity looks up at Fluttershy, shaking her head. “No need to apologize. It should be I who should be apologizing to you.”

I make a rolling motion with my hand. “Continue…”

“Since we are being honest, I too will admit that I have been hiding my true feelings. Ever since your career skyrocketed, ponies have only been focusing on you and not my fashion designs. I felt a little betrayed and jealous about this entire affair.”

Fluttershy tilts her head. “Oh. But you didn’t act any different towards me.”

Rarity sighs. “I pushed that aside because you seemed so happy, and I didn’t want to ruin your new lifestyle. I shouldn’t let personal feelings get between our friendship.”

I clap my hands, causing both of them to look at me. “Okay, both of you have spoken and heard the feelings of the other. At this point, the only logical course of action is…?” I raise an eyebrow and look at Fluttershy.

Fluttershy plays with a lock of her hair. “Um, Rarity? I’m going to quit being a model.”

Rarity smiles. “If that’s what is going to make you happy, then I’ll support you every step of the way.” She walks over and pulls Fluttershy into a hug. “I’m so sorry for putting you through all this. Can you ever forgive me?”

Fluttershy returns the hug. “Of course I can. And thank you, Rarity.” She then turns to me. “Thank you too, Blake, for talking me into coming out here and helping me. I don’t know what I was so worried about.”

I nod my head. “Happy to help my friends. Anything else you wanna say?”

Fluttershy smiles. “Yes. Rarity, would you be willing to have our spa date now?”

Rarity returns the smile. “Why, I do believe I can make room in my day for a friend. And if you wouldn’t mind, I would like to invite along someone else.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind it if you do.”

“Well then. Blake, would you be willing to join us?” Rarity bats her eyelashes at me.

I scratch the back of my head. “Ehh, I don’t know. Going to the spa really isn’t a guy thing to do.”

“Come now, dearie, I’m sure you need a good relaxation as much as we do.”

“Yeah, but I could get relax by going home and reading a good book…” I shake my head, “Wow, really sounded like Twilight there for a second. I’m in.”

Rarity claps her hands. “Wonderful! Let me just close up shop and we can be on our way.” She grabs a purse from a nearby table and heads to the door. She stops right in front of it and turns to me. “You do realize I’m paying for all of us.”

I chuckle and nod my head. “Yeah. And this time, I ain’t even gonna argue with you.”

Fluttershy raises her hand. “Umm, before we go… Should I really wear this still?” She holds up the mask of Spike.

I shrug my shoulders. “It’s entirely up to you. If you don’t wear it, Rarity and I will protect you from overzealous fans. And trust me,” I crack my knuckles, “I mean it.”

Rarity puts a hand under her chin and looks at Fluttershy. “I do believe that putting the hood up will suffice for being an effective disguise. From a distance, that is.”

Fluttershy swiftly pulls the hood up, her long hair somewhat poking out from the front where it spills out. “I’m okay with that. Just… Can we get there as fast as possible, please?”

“Of course, dearie. Now come, we must get to the spa before Aloe and Lotus decide to go on break.” With that, Rarity steps out the door with us close behind her.

“I’m already revoking your guy card for going to a spa. You are a disgrace to me.”

“They’ll be wearing towels only,” I think in a singsong way. Well, I can relax and enjoy the show, no?

“Two of the hottest mares in town wearing towels only… All is forgiven! Ten points to Blake Quinter!”

I smirk. “Glad you see it my way.”

May the Best Pet Win or Rehashing the Tortoise and the Hare

“Permanent Vacation”

May the Best Pet Win or Rehashing the Tortoise and the Hare

Well, it took about a week and a half, but Fluttershy is finally free of her modeling career. Rumors quickly spread throughout Equestria as to the reason why, most of them being that Photo Finish and her had “creative differences”. However, these were quickly silenced when the next star model of Photo’s was discovered somewhere in Baltimare. I chuckle as I shut off the TV during the interview between the interviewer and Photo. How quickly the masses are easily swayed.

Standing up with a groan, I head to the front door and step outside. I haven’t got anything important to do today, but it is very nice out… Maybe Twilight will let me borrow one of her books for a nice relaxing read in the park. With a smile on my face and a spring in my step, I wander over to Golden Oaks. As I step inside, I catch the last bits of conversation between Twilight and Fluttershy.

“Just remember to keep him fed with a nice healthy diet of... Oh, hello, Blake.” Fluttershy waves at me.

Twilight waves to me as well. “Hello, Blake. What brings you here?”

“Well, I was wondering if…” I stare at the owl perched on Twilight’s right shoulder. Pointing at it, I ask, “Have long have you had an owl living here?”

“Oh, Owlowiscious? He sorta just showed up about three days ago. He’s been helping me around the library at night, and he is nice to have around, so I figured I’d adopt him as my pet.”

I nod my head. “And you don’t know the first thing about taking care of an owl, so you brought Fluttershy here to check on him and teach you?”

Twilight raises an eyebrow. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

I shrug my shoulders. “You and I are cut from the same cloth, Twilight. If we don’t understand something, we try to figure it out or find someone who can teach us. Fluttershy, being the foremost expert on animals around here, is the most logical choice for learning about properly taking care of a pet owl.”

Twilight nods her head. “Well, I can’t argue with that logic.”

“Um, if you don’t need me anymore, I really need to get back to my cottage.” Fluttershy glances at the door.

Actually, I think a change of plans are in order. “Hey, Fluttershy?”

“Oh, yes?”

“Is your offer from Christmas still valid?”

She nods her head. “Of course. Whenever you want to, just come over and I’ll help you pick out the perfect pet.”

I jerk my head towards the door. “Well then, let’s go find me a pet.”

Her eyes light up as she makes that adorable squee sound. “Really?! Now?!” I nod my head. She darts over to me, grabbing my arm and vainly trying to drag me out the door. “Oh, you’re just going to love my animal friends! I have so many that are looking for a good home!”

I glance at Twilight to see her giggling slightly at us. With a roll of my eyes and a smile on my face, I allow Fluttershy to drag me out the door.

I don’t know why, but a feeling of serene peace washes over me as we near Fluttershy’s cottage. Maybe it’s the quaint nature of the little woodland cottage, or maybe it’s the scenery surrounding it. Perhaps it could be the animals frolicking about the area without a care in the world. Whatever the case, I enjoy it with every fiber of my being.

After crossing a little bridge over a stream and up a short path to her door, Fluttershy stops outside. “Um, if you don’t mind waiting outside for just a teensy bit, I need to check on my latest friend to make sure she’s okay.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Sure, go right ahead.” With a nod of her head, Fluttershy steps inside. I turn around and lean on a wooden fence, gazing out at the land around me. A bird, not sure what species, lands on the fence beside me. I turn to the bird. “Hello there. Are you one of the potential pets today?”

“I seriously doubt this thing can understand us.”

“What? Don’t act like you haven’t heard people talking to animals before.”

The bird tilts it head, letting out a long, slow chirp that increases in pitch at the end. I can only assume that it’s questioning my, well, question. I nod my head. “I’m here to look for a pet today. Know any good candidates?” The bird perks up. With a chirp, it flies over the cottage.

I hear the door open and shut behind me. I turn around to see Fluttershy standing there. “Please follow me around back.”

I nod my head. Walking around the cottage, I’m shocked at the size of this… Menagerie that Fluttershy has. I whistle. “Wow. Just… Wow. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t this.” Everywhere I look, I see nothing but animals. Hundreds of birdhouses dangle from the trees as their occupants dance through the air.

“So,” Fluttershy turns around, her hands clasped behind her back, “Do you have any idea what sort of pet you’re looking for?”

I rub my chin in thought. “Well, I’m sorta torn right now. I want to go with something classic, like a dog, but I also want to try something exotic like,” I point to a toucan, “A toucan.”

“Well, how about we try a few different animals and see what you like?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Sure, why not.” What happens next is a blur of activity as Fluttershy darts around, showcasing various animals in front of me. Toucan, chipmunk, squirrel, cat, bear (Yes, she offered me a pet bear). Anything and everything was fair game to her. I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. Yes, some of the pets she offered could work, but they just didn’t feel perfect for me. “Ugh, this is turning out to be harder than expected.”

Fluttershy sighs. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I have the—” Furious barking from behind me causes Fluttershy to look over my shoulder, eyes wide. “No! Bad dog! I told you to stay in the house, Sonja!”

I freeze, my breath catching in my throat as my eyes go wide. It’s impossible… I slowly turn around, seeing a grey furred Norwegian Elkhound bounding towards me. “S-S-Sonja?” If anything, the dog barks even more. It can’t be… but that collar around its neck, the color of the fur, the personality… I spread my arms out and crouch down, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. “Sonja?!”

Sonja tackles me to the ground, playfully licking my face. “No! Bad girl! Get off of him this instant!” Fluttershy drags Sonja off of me, trying to drag her into the cottage while Sonja whimpers.

“Wait! Please, wait.” Fluttershy stops in her tracks, her head tilted in confusion. “Please, let her go. I… need to be sure.”

Fluttershy nods her head and lets Sonja go. Instead of the previous enthusiasm from her, it is now replaced with slow, deliberate movements as she walks right in front of me and sits down. Gingerly, I reach out for the red bone dog tag hanging from her collar. Upon it is her name, Sonja. It truly is her. I break down, tears flowing freely from my eyes as I embrace my dog. “It’s you. It really, really is you.” I choke out between sobs. Sonja nuzzles her head against mine.

“Blake?” I glance up at Fluttershy to see her pointing to her cottage.

I sniffle and wipe my eyes before standing up. “Yes, inside would be a better place for me to explain.” I pat my left hip. “Come along, girl.” Sonja heels at my left side as we all walk to the inside of Fluttershy’s cottage. Without being prompted to, I sit down on the couch in the center of the room. Sonja jumps up and lays across my lap. Fluttershy sits to my right, running her hand down the back on Sonja’s head.

“So… How do you know Sonja, if you don’t mind me asking?”

I look at Fluttershy as my left hands runs along the length of Sonja’s back. “Sonja was… Is my dog from back home. She was one of the few things I looked forward to seeing each day. She was one of the few friends I had growing up.”

Fluttershy smiles. “I’m so happy you found her again.”

I sigh. “I am too, considering how I lost her the first time.”

“Oh?”

I cringe and feel tears in the corners of my eyes again. Telling this story never gets any easier. “One day, while I was very young, she just stopped eating. She didn’t touch any piece of food we gave her. We took her to the vet to figure out what was wrong.” I sigh. “She had a tumor on her tongue.”

Fluttershy gasps. “Oh my. Couldn’t they do something?”

I nod my head. “Yes, but neither option was going to have a happy ending. She was in massive pain from it at the time, and the size of the tumor was preventing her from eating. Option one was to cut the tumor out, but she would still die in a couple of days since most of her tongue needed to be cut out too.”

Fluttershy gulps, probably already knowing the other option. “And the other option?”

I hang my head. “Was to put her down and end her suffering.”

“And you chose that?”

“Yes. We weren’t gonna let her suffer just to have her with us for a few more days. We left her there while we went home so they could prepare her for the… Procedure. We came back the next day and waited in the operating room. After a little bit, they brought Sonja in. She didn’t look at us, didn’t even acknowledge us, just went over the door and stood in front of it. We said our goodbyes, put her on the table, and then the vet gave her the shot. I watched as the life left her eyes, a friend dying in front of me, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to save her.”

I hear Fluttershy sniffle. “That’s horrible.”

I nod my head. “The entire ride home, nobody said a word. I spent the rest of the day shut up in my room, every little thing reminding me of her. Back then, I couldn’t accept the fact that she was taken from me at such a young age. As time went on, I got over it. But I never forgot her in all that time.”

I feel Fluttershy’s hand on my back. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

I smile and face her. “Don’t be. It was a necessary evil at the time.” I pat Sonja’s back. “But enough about that time… For now. How’d did you even find her?”

Fluttershy looks out the window. “I have no idea. I was out tending to my chickens when she comes wandering out from the Everfree. I thought she was a runaway dog, so I’ve been taking care of her for about a week now.”

I place a hand on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Thank you for that. But how is she here? Doesn’t it strike you a bit odd that she dies back home but somehow ends up here, perfectly fine? She is healthy, right?”

Fluttershy turns back to me, nodding her head. “She’s an extremely healthy girl. I give you my word as the foremost caretaker of animals on that. And yes, it is a bit odd, but I’m not sure how she got to Equestria. Even she doesn’t know how or why. Isn’t that right, Sonja?” Sonja lifts her head up and barks.

I sigh. “Well, just chalk it up to magic, I guess.”

“Actually, this time you can.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Well, after their rude pulling of you during Christmas—”

“Which I’m still peeved about.”

“Yes, and Kindness understood that. After much convincing on its end, the Elements agreed to get you a sorry gift to make up for it.”

“And their gift was bringing Sonja back to me? How?! They’re playing with life and death, forces that are nigh impossible to control!”

“You forget what the Elements are capable of. They pooled their powers together and brought her back to life.”

“That’s incredible! Why don’t they do things like this more often?!”

“Like I said, they pooled their powers together. Doing so really drains them and they need time to recharge in between. Besides, dogs and ponies are different in the magical sense. That being said, don’t expect any help from them for at least a month and a half till they recharge. That means no weapon drops, magical assistance, or anything similar.”

“Well, they have my thanks. I’m still upset over the Christmas ordeal, but this makes it somewhat better.”

“That’s all Kindness ever wanted.”

I smile. “I’m just glad she’s alive and well, and that I got to see her again.”

Fluttershy rubs her right arm. “Well, I’m happy for you, even if I can’t give you the answers you want.”

I shake my head. “I don’t need answers now that I have her back.”

“Um, about you picking pet… I wouldn’t feel right keeping one of your closest friends from you…”

I chuckle. “I was taking her home with me, no matter what. But still, thank you for allowing me to take her.”

Fluttershy smiles. “I wouldn’t dream of keeping you two apart.”

I look down at Sonja, smiling all the while. “Get up. We’re going home.” Sonja leaps out the couch, bounding towards the front door. I stand up and stretch, hearing a few joints crack.

“Um, do you need anything to take care of her?”

I shake my head. “Nah, I should be pretty good… Actually, I could use some dog food.”

“I have a bag you could have. I’ll be right back.” Fluttershy heads into the kitchen.

Once Fluttershy is out of sight, I feel a thumping on my leg. Looking down, I see a white rabbit glaring at me. “Oh, you must be Angel Bunny.” Angel points at me then to the kitchen, tracing the outline of a heart in front of him, and then making a slow slicing motion over his neck.

“Did that bastard just threaten us?!”

I frown and get down on one knee, glaring at Angel. “Listen bub, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but we both care for Shy. I won’t do anything to hurt her if you don’t do anything to hurt her either. Truce?”

Angel looks towards the kitchen then back to me before nodding his head. He bounds away just as Fluttershy comes back into the room, struggling to carry the bag of dog food. “Umm… If you don’t—”

I stand up and take most of the weight of the bag. “Got it.” She lets go and I heft the bag up to my right shoulder. “Thanks again for this.”

“Oh, it was no trouble at all. Are you sure you can carry that all the way back to your home?”

I chuckle while walking towards the door. “Only one way to find out. If you don’t mind, I would like to spend some quality time with my dog.”

“I won’t keep you any longer then.” As I head outside and across the bridge, I hear Fluttershy call out behind me, “Wait! I almost forgot. Since you now have a pet, would you like to join the girls and I for our weekly pet playdate at the park?”

I nod my head. “Yeah, I’d like that. What time should I be there?”

“Oh, any time after ten will be fine. We’ll spend a couple of hours spending time with each other, then probably get lunch afterwards if everypony else wants to.”

“Okay then, I’ll see you all tomorrow at ten sharp.”

Yesterday was the best day ever in my life. After digging out all of Sonja’s old stuff, toys, food bowl, leash, and the like, we spent the rest of the day like how we spent my childhood. This mostly consisted of playing with her toys, a short walk, relaxing on the couch, and never leaving my side. Of course, this meant she never strayed too far from my side during our walk across town to the park unless I explicitly stated she could wander around.

Glancing up at the sky, I take a deep breath of the crisp spring air. Ahh, such a relaxing and beautiful day. I honestly think Equestria can never have bad weather, unless of course the pegasi ever call for it. Sonja’s excited barking draws my gaze forward towards the girls, minus Rainbow, at the entrance to the park. Sonja looks up at me and whimpers. Chucking, I jerk my head towards the girls. “Go on. Go see her.”

With no further prompting, Sonja bounds towards Fluttershy. Fluttershy bends over to rub Sonja as she leaps around her. “Hello again, Sonja! Are you happy to be back with Blake again?” Sonja barks a couple of times. “That’s so wonderful to hear!”

I wave to the girls. “Hey girls.”

Applejack tips her head towards me, a dog (Did anyone ever figure out what breed Winona is?) sitting patiently by her side. “Howdy, Blake. Heard about you and Sonja here. Sorry ya had ta go through that.”

“Sonja, heel.” Sonja sits down at my right side. I reach down and rub behind her ears while glancing at Fluttershy. “You told them?”

Fluttershy looks down at the ground. “I’m sorry for doing it without your permission.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s fine. I really don’t like telling that story more than I have to.”

Pinkie leaps over and wraps her arms around me. “That must have been really sad for you! I’m sorry you had to go through that without me there to cheer you up!”

I nod my head after Pinkie releases me from her crushing hug. Think she popped my spine in a few places too… “Pinkie, that was one of the saddest moments of my life. But it was a very defining one for me, so it’s both a blessing and a curse.”

Twilight tilts her head. “How so? What good could come from losing your dog?”

“It taught me loss and acceptance, something that everyone needs to learn at some point. My time came much sooner than it should have. Now, please, can we move on to much happier things and not dwell on the past?”

Rarity nods her head. “Terribly sorry for bringing up this subject. We’ll move on to something else, like introductions.” She rubs the back of the white cat cradled in her arms. “This here is my darling little Opal.”

Applejack gets down on one knee, scratching the back of Winona’s head. “This here is Winona, our faithful family dog.”

“Um, you probably already met Angel…” Angel pokes his head out of Fluttershy’s hair, giving me an icy cold stare. “Isn’t he the most adorable, sweetest bunny you’ve ever met?”

“Yeah. He is something, isn’t he?” I deadpan.

Pinkie pops up right in front of me, causing me to jump back slightly. “Oh, Oh! You haven’t met Gummy yet!” She thrusts the little green gator into my face.

I warily eye Gummy. “Uh, isn’t a little dangerous to have a pet that could, I don’t know, eat your face off?!”

Pinkie giggles. “No silly! Gummy’s teeth are gone, so his bites don’t hurt! Watch!” Pinkie holds Gummy out and points at her right arm. Gummy latches on with no hesitation. I raise an eyebrow as Pinkie doesn’t even change reactions. “See?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Okay… So, where’s Rainbow at?”

Fluttershy plays with a strand of her hair. “Um, actually… Rainbow doesn’t have a pet, so we didn’t invite her.”

I nod my head. “Fair point. Why come to a pet playdate without a pet? I’m sure she’d understand.”

Rarity clears her throat. “Ahem, if everypony is ready, shall we start?” We all nod our heads and head into the park.

Winona and Sonja hit it off almost immediately as they playfully run around. Applejack and I chuckle as we walk. The rest of the pets never stray too far from us. As we near a hill, Owlowiscious flies over it. I think nothing of it until I hear a shout. As the rest of us crest the hill, I see Rainbow sitting at the bottom of a tree, rubbing her head. “Well, speak of the chromatic daredevil herself!”

Rainbow stands up, brushing herself off. “Hey gang.” She looks around at our pets running around. “What’s going on? Did I miss something?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Long story short, it’s a pet playdate, you weren’t invited due to obvious reasons, playdate is here in the park.”

Rarity rounds on me. “Really, Blake, did you have to be so blunt?”

Rainbow shakes her head. “Nah, it’s cool. I totally understand why. I mean, why come to a pet playdate without a pet?”

“Oh thank goodness, I was worried you’d be upset that we didn’t invite you since you don’t have a pet.”

“Like I said, it’s cool. Go on and have your pet playdate, I’ll be napping on a cloud around here. See you guys later.” With that, Rainbow dashes off into the sky.

With nothing more to do, everyone scatters around the area while the pets run around without a care in the world. Since Winona and Sonja kicked it off so well, it only made sense for Applejack and I to talk. “So, how’s the apple crop coming along?”

“It’s coming along nicely. At this rate, we should have more than enough apples ta create even more cider this year. Hoo boy, ah can’t wait ta see this year’s turnout.”

I nod my head. “Good to hear. I may have to try some Apple family cider for myself if it’s drawing this big of a crowd.”

Applejack glances around before leaning towards my ear. “Now don’t go telling everypony, but ah’m gonna share some of our reserves with y’all after the season is over.”

Well, I do have some spare cash… “How much to reserve a full barrel?”

“Can’t say for sure until we see how many we get. Ya looking to buy one?”

I nod my head. “Yeah. Keep a barrel off to the side and I’ll pay whatever you’re charging. Deal?” I hold my hand out.

She eagerly grabs my hand and shakes. “Deal, partner.”

With that out of the way, I place my hands behind my head and stretch. “Hmm, it’s probably been long enough.”

Applejack tilts her head. “Long enough for what?”

I chuckle and start to walk away. “You’ll see.” Walking over to a picnic table, I sit down across from Rarity and Twilight. “So, what’s going on with you two?”

“Well, I just finished telling Twilight here about my latest fashion line I’m showcasing in Canterlot. They’re simply gorgeous!”

“Congrats! Looks like you’re moving on up in the world. When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning. I intend to spend the week up there with the upper crust, making a name for myself.”

Twilight raises an eyebrow. “Rarity, aren’t you forgetting something about this week? Something important?”

“Hmm? Whatever do you mean, Twilight?”

I drum my fingers on the table. “Shit, that’s right. It is this week, isn’t it?”

“Rarity, it’s my birthday this week! Pinkie’s throwing a party and everything!”

Rarity gasps. “Oh dear! How could I have forgotten?! I’m terribly sorry about this, Twilight. I’ll cut my trip short so I can be here for you.”

Before Twilight can respond, there’s a whoosh of air behind me. “Hold up! Just because I don’t have a pet now doesn’t mean I don’t want one!”

I look over my shoulder just in time to see Fluttershy nearly tackle Rainbow to the ground. “You do?!”

Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Uh, yeah? Didn’t I just say that?”

Fluttershy squees. “I have the perfect pet for you, I just know it!” She grabs Rainbow’s arm and pulls, not noticing that she’s going nowhere fast. With a sigh, Rainbow relents and lets Fluttershy drag her off to her house, Angel hopping along right behind them.

I chuckle and shake my head. “Oh, Rainbow has no idea what she has unleashed upon herself.”

Applejack and Pinkie come over to the table. “That what you were talking about, Blake?”

I nod my head. “Yeah. Rainbow’s pride has struck her again.”

“So, now what?” Pinkie asks.

I get up from the table. “I don’t know about you, but I’m getting some lunch. Anyone coming with?”

Twilight shakes her head. “I would, but Fluttershy isn’t here. It wouldn’t be right for all of us to go without her.”

“Normally, I’d agree with you. However, she knew we were going to lunch. It was her decision to take Rainbow back to her place to choose a pet. In all fairness, she left us knowing what the plan for today was.”

“But what if they come back and she gets upset we went without her?”

I laugh. “Pinkie, my dear, this is Fluttershy we’re talking about. If she’s upset in any way, I will personally buy her lunch wherever and whenever she wants as a way of making it up to her.”

“Almost sounds like a date.”

“My friend, it will likely never happen. But a man can dream, can he not?”

“Oh, I’ve seen those dreams. And let me say, you’re a perverted man.”

“Says the pervert in my head.”

“Touche.”

“Well, I am mighty hungry… Ah shoot, I’m in.”

With no further objections, we all gather our pets and head into town.

About an hour later, our lunch was rudely interrupted by Rainbow dropping in and announcing that she was holding a contest right now to determine her pet. Suffice to say, we all went to watch. Standing outside of town hall, I could care less about the entire thing. But, Rainbow is my friend and I should be here. With a sigh, I lean back against the wall.

Rarity turns to me. “Something the matter, dear?”

“Hmm?” I shake my head. “Oh, nothing, Rarity. Just thinking about some things right now.” Sonja’s barking draws my attention downwards, where she sits patiently at my feet with a rubber ball in her mouth. Chuckling, I grab the ball and toss it as Sonja runs after it.

“So,” Applejack motions out towards Rainbow and her assembled line of potential pets, “Anypony taking bets on what she picks?”

Twilight points at the falcon. “The falcon would probably make a good pet for Rainbow.”

Pinkie bounces up and down from her position leaning over the railing, giving those of us behind her a bouncing view of her… Lower assets. “Oh, oh! It would be funny it she picked the bat, that way I could say Rainbow has gone… Batty!”

I groan at the horrible pun. “Twenty bits says she picks the tortoise.” Everyone turns to look at me with raised eyebrows. “What?” Again, Sonja is at my feet. I toss the ball again for her.

Rarity clears her throat. “It’s just that Rainbow seems like the type of pony to pick something a bit… Faster, per say.”

I smirk. “We shall see, but I have faith in that tortoise. Gotta root for the underdogs, know what I’m saying?”

“Yo! There you are!” I turn to look at Vinyl walking towards us.

I grin. “What’s the haps, Vinyl?”

She grins back. “I just got word back from the television studio in Canterlot. They want to interview us on Today.”

I nod my head. “Nice! Assuming you agreed, when are we scheduled to appear?

“Eh, sometime tomorrow morning around ten or so. After the interview, they want you to play a song or two for their outside audience. So, pack your bags, we’re heading to Canterlot tomorrow on the first train at eight-thirty!”

I nod my head. “Great! You tell everyone else?”

She nods her head. “Yeah, but they all gotta come back afterwards. I’m staying to spend some time with Octy for a couple of days.”

I hold out my hand for a high five, which she returns. “Sweet! I’ll see you at the station tomorrow!”

Vinyl throws her headphones over her ears as she walks away. “Later, player!”

“Congrats there, Blake.”

“Thanks.” I look at Rarity. “Well, Miss Belle, it seems I will be accompanying you during your stay in Canterlot.”

“Oh, you’re planning on staying?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah, I could use a little vacation. See the sights, learn about the city, maybe do some shopping there too.”

Rarity claps her hands. “Splendid! I’ll make sure the hotel can accommodate the both of us—”

I hold my hand up. “Please, allow me take care of that. You have enough to worry about and paying for the hotel is the least I can do.”

“Why thank you, Blake. I’ll be sure to make it up to you.”

With nothing else to discuss, we turn our attention back to Rainbow’s little event. Things go smoothly throughout the talent contest and obstacle course as Rainbow jots down notes on each pet, little cheers or words of encouragement coming from us on the sidelines. In the end, she manages to narrow down her selection to a bat, owl, eagle, falcon, and the tortoise (Mostly out of pity, partly because of the glares from Fluttershy).

After dismissing every other pet, Rainbow leads us all to a starting line situated on the outskirts of Ponyville near a massive gorge in the earth. Rainbow paces back and forth in front of the potential pets, reminding me of a drill instructor with her stern expression and swift gait. “Alright! Each and every one of you has the potential to be the pet for yours truly! There lies just one more test for you, and I’m not gonna lie, it isn’t for the weak! If any of you wish to back out, I won’t blame you!” She eyes each pet, none of them making a move. “Suit yourself. The final test is a race against me through… Pause for dramatic effect…” She flares her wings and launches into the air, “Ghastly Gorge!”

I roll my eyes. “Who names these places?”

“Actually, Ghastly Gorge was—”

I facepalm. “Twilight, it was a rhetorical question. I don’t actually care why, who, or even how it was named.”

“Alright, alright. Enough chit-chat! Time to find out which pet is as awesome as me!” Rainbow crouches down at the starting line, adopting a sprinter stance as the pets line up beside her. “Somepony willing to start us off?”

“I got this.” Drawing the Ambassador, I aim at a nearby tree. “At the sound of gunfire, the race will commence on my mark. Three, two, one,” I pull the trigger, the bang echoing through the gorge, “Go!”

Rainbow bolts off the starting (which I now realize also functions as the finish) line, the rest of the flying pets right behind her by a couple of lengths. The tortoise… still hasn’t crossed the start. Applejack turns to me, smirking. “Still think the turtle—”

“Tortoise,” Fluttershy and I both correct.

“—Tortoise is still going ta win?”

I chuckle. “We shall see, we shall see.”

“Does anypony have the faintest idea how long this shall take? I still have some last minute preparations to finish for tomorrow.”

I rub my chin. “Judging by the length of the gorge, the speed of Rainbow, and also accounting for a need to showboat somewhere along the way… I’d say about an hour and a half, give or take.”

“Well, it’ll be boring standing around doing nothing for that long! We should do something!” Pinkie gasps. “How about we play a game to pass the time?!”

“Pinkie, we could just play with our pets too.” Thanks for being the voice of reason here, Applejack.

“That works too!”

For what seems like the longest time, we have an impromptu pet playdate… God, I need to call it something else. Playdate just seems too… Childish. Gathering? Meeting? A socially acceptable meeting wherein friends bring their pets for mutual bonding? Whatever the case, Twilight calls out, “Look!”

We all turn our attention to the finish line, watching as the falcon crosses first. The cheers in slowly die in everyone’s throats as Rainbow is nowhere to be seen while the rest of the pets cross the finish line. “Um… Where’s Rainbow Dash?”

Twilight shakes her head. “It’s not like her to be anywhere but first.”

Pinkie pulls out a pair of binoculars from her hair, scanning the gorge. I raise an eyebrow and tap her shoulder. She turns to me. “Yes? Wow, Blake, you look so far away!”

“Pinkie, you have them backwards. Let me do the honors, please?”

She giggles, tossing them to me. “Oopsie, silly me!”

With a roll of my eyes, I scan from halfway into the gorge forward. I spot a massive rockslide about three-quarters of the way through the gorge. I point towards it. “Rockslide, ho!”

“A rockslide? Rainbow could be hurt! Or worse, trapped!”

“You’re right, Rarity! Come on, we need to find her!”

I hold my hand up. “Hold. She’s fine.”

“How can ya be so sure of that?”

I lower the binoculars and turn to everyone. “Trust me, I would know.” Sonja and Winona both bark, drawing my attention back forward. I bring the binoculars back up, then smirk at the sight. Rainbow, bruised and scuffed, walking along with her right wing wrapped in a torn piece of her shirt and the tortoise riding on her left shoulder. “Someone grab the finish line poles. We’re moving it on up for the final two racers.”

I toss the binoculars up, Pinkie flipping over me to catch it in her hair, while Rarity and Twilight levitate the finish line closer to Rainbow. We all cheer for them as they cross, before Rainbow is surrounded by the girls to make sure she is alright. “Rainbow, thank Celestia you’re alright!”

“Of course I’m alright, Twilight, thanks to this little guy right here.” Rainbow scratches the chin of the tortoise, causing it to smile.

“What happened out there?” Applejack asks.

“We saw the rockslide and feared the worst happened,” Rarity adds.

Rainbow rubs the back of her head. “Technically, that was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention and crashed into the wall. When the rocks started falling, my wing got pinned under one.”

I wince. “How bad is the damage?”

“This?” Rainbow ruffles her wing slightly, “Shouldn’t take more than a couple of days to heal.”

Pinkie gasps. “Wait just a minute here! How did you get out from under that rock then?” Pinkie pokes Rainbow in the chest, “Did you teleport cause that would be cool if you did cause if you can do it so can everypony else and then—”

I clamp my hand over Pinkie’s mouth. “Please, go on.”

“Since I couldn’t move, I thought I was gonna die there when along comes this guy! He dug under the rock and lifted it up, freeing me.”

I clap my hands and nod. “A truly remarkable creature if I ever seen one,” Sonja barks at me, “Present company excluded girl.”

“Well, I’m happy that the both of you are safe. And since the race is over, Rainbow, it’s time to meet your new pet falcon!” The falcon lands on Rainbows other shoulder.

Rainbow glances at the tortoise on her other shoulder. I smirk. “Having second thoughts there? Remember, there is a loophole for everything in life.”

Rainbow’s eyes go wide and a grin crosses her face. “Well, I did say my pet was the one who crossed the finish line with me, and this little guy was the only one to do so! So that makes him my pet!” The falcon looks disappointed, but turns to the tortoise and salutes anyway before flying off into the distance.

“Congrats, darling. Have you decided on a name yet?”

Rainbow grabs the tortoise and holds him out in front of her. “Hmm, I’m not sure. This guy was unstoppable! Almost like he was built like a… A…”

I raise an eyebrow. “A tank, perhaps?”

Rainbow nods her head. “Yeah, whatever that is! How’s Tank sound, little fella?” Tank nuzzles up against her neck. “I’ll take that as a yes!”

“But, Rainbow, I thought you wanted a pet that could fly and keep up with you?”

Rainbow sets Tank on the ground. “Well, I did, but I’ll figure something out.”

I rub my chin. “Well, we could… Nah, that’d never work.”

Twilight tilts her head. “What wouldn’t work?”

“I was gonna suggest attaching a propeller to Tank’s shell and magically enchanting it to constantly renew its power and link to Tank’s mind to allow him to operate it. But that is probably out of the realm of possibility—”

“That’s a brilliant idea! There’s probably a book in the library that could even teach me the spell!”

“Seriously?!” I sigh. “I’ve had enough for today. I’m going home to relax before tomorrow.” Turning to leave, I snap my fingers and wave over my shoulder. “Sonja, we’re going. I’ll see you all later then.”

Wandering back through town, I get home and promptly pack a bag for tomorrow. With nothing better to do, I spend some time reading while Sonja lies in my lap before my impromptu meeting tonight.

I let out a content sigh, leaning back into the couch while sipping from a cup of green tea. I glance over at the second cup, filled with coffee, on the coffee table in front of me. Huh, I half expected her to be here by now. A knock on the door of the left wall of my enclosed space draws my attention. “Come in!”

The door opens, revealing Princess Luna with the astral plane behind her. “A fair night to you, Blake.”

I nod my head. “And to you as well, Luna. Please, have a seat.”

She shuts the door behind her before walking over and sitting down beside me. “I heard your call throughout the dream. What is it that you need?”

I smirk and look up at her. “Can’t I spend time with my friend and best princess some nights of the week?”

Now it’s her turn to smirk. “Well, I don’t see any reason not to. You are one of the first ponies to accept me since my return. Though I’m not sure my sister would approve of us meeting like this.”

“Oh, so it’s that kind of night you’re looking for, eh?”

Instead of blushing, Luna just laughs. “I can assure you that I would be too much for you. Few can keep up with the princess of the night.”

I laugh as well. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now, along with hanging out, I have a favor to ask.”

“Yes?”

“I’m going to be spending a couple of days in Canterlot, along with Rarity Belle, and need a place to stay. What better place than Canterlot Palace, if you’re able to house us?”

“Of course, Blake. I’ll make arrangements for the two of you after tonight. Out of curiosity, what is the meaning of your visit?”

“Rarity has some fashion thing going on, and we, as in The All-Equestrian Rejects—”

“Wonderful music by the way, much better than the drab of centuries ago.”

I smile. Praise from Luna about our band! “Thank you. Anyway, we are going to be interviewed on live TV for Equestria to see.”

Luna pats my shoulder. “Congrats, dear Blake. I’ll shall accompany you to this interview and support you from the sidelines, in disguise of course.”

Things just got even better! “Really? Man, can this get any better?”

Luna glances away. “Of course, this all comes with a price.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Name it.”

She sighs. “That night of the Gala was one of the best since my return. Could we maybe do something similar again during your visit?”

I chuckle. “Of course, Luna! You’re one of my best friends! I don’t need a reason to hang out with you. Besides, we can spend nights like this in my dreams. Speaking of which,” I close my eyes and mentally image a PlayStation 4 appearing on the coffee table. Opening them, I see it sitting there, already hooked up and running, “Care to do some gaming?”

Luna rubs the back of her head. “I’m not sure what this gaming is that you speak off.”

I smirk. “Simple, really. There fake realities where you can do whatever and be whatever you want. They’re actually pretty fun, and I’ll be her to teach you every step of the way.”

I snatch the controller and fire up one game that Luna should get addicted to. “Bloodborne? What is this game about?”

I hand her the controller, which she gingerly takes. “You’ll have to find out for yourself, my fair princess. Just know that it will challenge you every step of the way, and laugh at the mistakes you make.”

Luna narrows her eyes and stares at the screen. “This game will dare to insult me?! Then I shall give it a challenge it shan’t forget!”

I smirk. “That’s the spirit. Just… Try not to break too many things in the dream.”

Author's Note

RIP Sonja. Birthday is June Eight, and this is my way of remembering her. You were a good girl, and shan't be forgotten.

Sweet and Elite or City Life Ain’t For Everyone

Author's Note

Please note that if dialogue suddenly jumps for no reason, please point it out for corrections. Google Drive was fighting with me during the uploading process

Sweet and Elite or City Life Ain’t For Everyone

“Permanent Vacation”

Sweet and Elite or City Life Ain’t For Everyone

Okay, maybe introducing Luna to Bloodborne was a bad idea. Not even ten minutes into it and she started screaming at it, throwing Equestrian insults left and right at it. It took a great deal to calm her down after that. However, she did get addicted to it as I had planned, saying she now considers it a personal challenge to beat it. Even then, I still had a restful night. After all, it was only just a dream.

With my packed bag, guitar, and Sonja in tow, I make my way to the train station the next morning. Nearing it, I see the train and everyone else already there with their bags. I shake my head at the amount of bags Rarity has. “Geez, you taking the entire Boutique with you?”

Rarity laughs. “Of course not, only the essentials needed for a lady such as I. And I can’t forget my darling little Opal.”

I raise an eyebrow at the porter still loading her bags on. “And how many bags would that entitle?”

“Twenty. I counted,” Lyra says.

“Who needs twenty bags?” Vinyl says, her eyebrows raised.

“Why, a beautiful lady such as Rarity, Vinyl,” Spike says.

“Suck up.”

“Why thank you, Spike.”

“Suck up,” Mac mumbles, just loud enough for only me to hear. Good to see I’m not the only one who catches this stuff.

I jerk my head towards one of the train cars. “Come on, let’s get settled in for the trip and discuss our game plan.” Filing in, I notice that the interior is very similar to a dining car with its booths with tables instead of the usual rows of seats. Other ponies already have taken some of the booths in the car, but we do find one at the very back corner for all of us to sit down at. Surprisingly, we all can fit into one booth. On my side is Vinyl and Lyra, both to my right since I took the aisle seat so Sonja could sit at my feet. On the other side, Rarity took the aisle seat with Spike and Mac to her left.

“All aboard!” The conductor yells out just as the porter comes in, panting for breath. He promptly falls into a heap at one of the empty booths.

“Dear God, Rarity, you almost killed that poor stallion.”

Rarity rolls her hand. “I’m sure a strong stallion such as himself will be fine.”

“Water…Water…” The porter rasps out as the train lurches forward.

“…Probably.”

Lyra slaps my shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry about it. He took this job knowing full well the risks involved.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, point taken. Now, onto business. Vinyl,” She glances up from her iApple, “What’s the plan since you’re the one they contacted?”

“Eh, the usual for this kind of stuff. You get interviewed, short commercial break, then you’re outside playing for the crowd. Short, sweet, and simple, but just enough screen time for the world to see you.”

Spike leans forward in his seat. “So, what song we doing?”

Mac drums his fingers on the table while looking out the window. “Hmm, being that this is city folk, country might not be the best thing.”

I rub my chin. “I have a few ideas, but I want to see what kind of crowd we’re playing for first. Sound good?”

Spike nods his head. “As long as I can play it, I’m good.” General agreement from everyone else follows.

Rarity clears her throat. “Ah, yes. I didn’t forget about our accommodations, Rarity.”

“I didn’t doubt you, dear. But I would like to know where we are staying.”

I smirk. “That, you shall find out when we arrive in Canterlot.”

Rarity sighs. “Very well then.”

I chuckle. “All I can say is that we have a very important guest meeting us at the station to join us and to take our bags to our lodging.” Before Rarity can ask, I shake my head. “And no, I’m not saying their name.”

“How big of a crowd are we expecting today?” Lyra asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “Can’t say. Vinyl, you got any idea?”

“Beats me. Just be happy you’re important enough to be interviewed on national TV.”

“Eeyup.”

The rest of the trip is general small talk between everyone. It doesn’t take very long to reach Canterlot and pull into the train station. I look outside to see a small crowd gathered around two carriages. The rest of the passengers in our car notice this as well, staring out the windows. I snicker. “Wonder why the royal carriages are here?”

Rarity’s eyes light up as she eyes every other passenger. “Do you think so famous celebrity or dignitary is on the train?!”

“Who cares? We got a show to get to!” Vinyl starts shoving me out of my seat. “Come on, come on, move it!”

“Alright, geez!” I get out into the aisle and start to leave, Sonja practically clinging to my leg. She was always like that when around large crowds. Stepping out onto the platform, I immediately make my way towards the carriages.

“Um, Blake, I don’t believe those are for us.” Rarity calls out from behind me.

I glance over my shoulder to see everyone standing there. “Nonsense, Rarity! You didn’t think I came up here without a plan, did you?”

Her eyes widen. “You didn’t.”

Forcing my way through the crowd, I near the carriage when my path is blocked by two royal guards holding spears. “Halt, citizen!”

I cup my hands around my mouth and yell, “Luna! Your entourage has arrived!”

One of the carriage doors swings open. Luna climbs out from inside it as the crowd starts bowing respectfully and shutting their traps. Luna waves her hand towards me. “Let him through.”

I smirk, knowing that all eyes are on me, as the guards step off to the side. Walking towards Luna, I hold my fist out. “What’s going on, my princess?!”

She returns the fist bump. “Waiting for you to show up, my loyal subject!” It’s cool if Luna calls me her subject, unlike Celestia. She bends down and pets Sonja. “And who is this?”

“Ah, that’s right. This is Sonja, my dog.”

“What a wonderful companion to have! Tis been a long time since I had a pet.”

“So,” I jerk my head towards the carriages, “We all set then?”

Luna stands back up, nodding her head. “Of course. We just need your bags, and I would like to meet your band properly before we go.”

I turn around to face the crowd. “Rejects, Rarity, front and center!” The crowd parts slightly, making a path to the carriages.

Rarity slowly makes her way forward. “Blake, did you—”

“Pulls some strings with Luna and get us rooms at the castle? Yes, yes I did.”

Rarity wraps her arms around me. “Oh, thank you ever so much!” Luna giggles, “And to you as well, Princess!”

“Please, Rarity, Luna is fine. Your carriage is on the left. My sister will meet you at the castle and guide you to your room. As soon as your luggage is on, you’ll be on your way.”

“Dear Celestia, not again!” The porter yells.

Rarity blushes and looks away. “About that, Luna…”

Luna smiles and rolls her eyes. “Allow me to take care of that.” With a glow of her horn, all of Rarity’s luggage flies off the train platform and stacks itself perfectly on the carriage.

“Sweet merciful Luna, thank you!”

“You are quite welcome, thine subject!”

“I’m grateful for your hospitality, Luna, but I must be off. Toodles!” Rarity climbs into the carriage. As soon as the door shuts, the guards pulling it take off down the street at a leisurely pace.

I notice our luggage as well fly from the platform onto the other carriage. “Luna, you already met Spike and Vinyl. This here is Lyra and Big Macintosh, or Mac for short.” I point to each person respectively.

“Spike, Vinyl, wonderful to see you again.”

“Likewise, Luna. Say, did you ever get Celestia to lighten up?” Vinyl asks.

Luna smiles. “Only slightly since my return. Give it time, however, and she’ll be back to herself in no time.” Vinyl chuckles and shakes her head as her and Spike climb into the carriage.

Mac clears his throat. “Pleasure ta meet you, Princess Luna.”

“Sup.” Mac slaps Lyra on the back of her head. “What?!”

“Show some respect.”

Luna and I chuckle. “Tis quite alright, Mac and Lyra. Please, climb inside. We’ll have plenty of time to chat during our ride to the studio.” They both climb inside. Once they are in, Luna whispers in my ear, “It would seem you have some competition for my eye.”

I shudder. “Luna, you can have him all to yourself.”

She laughs and slaps me on the back, causing me to stumble forward slightly. “Now where’s the fun in that?!”

“What have you gotten yourself into? Honestly, I turn around for ten minutes and you’re stealing the hearts of mares around you. I’m so proud of you!”

I shake my head and smirk. “As you say, Luna. Could we hurry this up though, we got a schedule to keep!”

“Well,” Luna motions to the carriage, “I’m ready when you are.”

Climbing inside, I sit down right by the carriage door with Mac and Spike to my right. Luna climbs in right after, sitting down across from me with Vinyl and Lyra to her left as Sonja lies down between us. I reach out and slam the door shut. The carriage lurches shortly after, marking the beginning of our journey to our television debut in Equestria.

“We’re back in thirty!” A stagehand yells out. I glance again out the large bay windows off to the left at the crowd waiting for us. Ponies of every age, race, and gender fill the plaza around the stage. Yeah, we arrived on time for the interview. As soon as we arrived, our carriage was surrounded by screaming fans. Upon seeing Luna with us, the crowd got even more hectic, presumably from the fact that a Princess was with us. Hell, Luna had to conjure a shield just to protect us from everyone. Once we were safely inside the building, we were ushered into a dressing room to relax for a bit. Once there, we went over what songs we were gonna be playing for the crowd. After that was another whirlwind of makeup for the cameras, much to Mac’s annoyance.

Now, the four of us sit on a red couch (Can’t forget about the twelve or so cameras facing us too) facing the interviewer, a grey coated, silver haired unicorn stallion named Early Riser, on a chair where he is being addressed to by his own makeup team. Vinyl, Luna, and Sonja are off to the side behind the cameras, watching us.

“Ten seconds!” With that, the makeup team packs up and makes their way off camera. “We’re live in five, four, three, two, one,” The stage director points at Riser.

Riser sits up straight and smiles directly at the camera with a red light above it. “They’ve taken the music world by storm. Here to talk with us today, all the way from the rural town of Ponyville, is The All-Equestrian Rejects.” He turns to us. “Thanks for being on the show today.”

It was previously decided that I would handle most of the talking, unless otherwise directed. “Thanks for having us.”

“Now, for those that don’t know of you, why don’t you introduce yourselves?”

Mac nods his head. “Big Mac.”

Lyra smirks and leans back into the couch. “Lyra Heartstrings."

“Spike the dragon.”

I mock salute the camera. “Blake Quinter.”

“How did you all meet? We’re you just friends looking for something to do in your spare time, or what exactly?”

I pat Spike’s shoulder. “All thanks to this guy right here.”

“Yeah, I wanted to start a band just for fun, so I grabbed Mac and Lyra. Since we still needed a singer, I grabbed Blake too. Put him in charge, along with our manager Vinyl Scratch now.”

Riser raises an eyebrow. “Really? Why do that? Usually the pony forming the band is in charge of it.”

Lyra rolls her eyes. “Pfft, who says that? Blake had brilliant ideas for us, so we put him in charge. Simple.” Well, the whole I handle most of the talking plan just got flushed down the drain.

Spike nods his head. “What she said. My plan was to just do cover songs. Blake had all these ideas for almost everything to make us better.”

I smirk. “Is it me or is my ego inflating here?” We all laugh.

“So they put you in charge, Blake. The question everyone wants to know, me, your fans, everyone at home,” Riser leans forward, “Is why the name All-Equestrian Rejects?”

I chuckle. “Seriously? Take a look at us! You got the strong, silent type stallion, the lesbian, the dragon, and the alien! We don’t exactly fit into the normal bounds of society around here, hence the rejects.”

Lyra looks at me. “Lesbian?”

“Hmm? Oh, right, cultural differences. The term here would be… What’s it called, filly-fooler?”Lyra nods her head.

Riser leans back in his chair. “Interesting. Lyra, care to comment on this?”

Lyra waves her hand. “Nah, I’m good.”

“Really? Some ponies out there don’t believe in this sort of relationship. Any thoughts on if this could negatively impact you at all?”

“Look, ponies shouldn’t be judged on being happy. If’n two mares or two stallions love each other in that way, then let them be. They ain’t hurting you by being happy. Everypony has a right to happiness, and nopony should be able to take that away from them. And if ponies out there don’t like us supporting them, then too bad.” Wow, didn’t know Mac could speak with such conviction about a subject like this.

Riser nods his head. “Strong words indeed. Well, I wish you the best of luck in your relationship, Lyra.” Lyra just nods her head. “Let’s talk about your latest album, On The Rocks. What was the inspiration for it?”

I shrug my shoulders. “At first, it was just a way of saying that this album is about rock music. But after some… Events regarding my life, I feel that the true message is for those that walk a thin line, constantly rocking back and forth between right and wrong, good and evil. I’ve walked that line, and probably still am, but it’s what side do I fall on in the end that defines me, or all of us for that matter.”

“While we’re on the subject of albums, what about your first one, Eyes on Us? Care to tell us about that?”

Spike waves his hand. “This is simple, actually. We’re just starting out, so of course everypony is gonna be watching us and judging our every action from then on. Why not let everypony know that we know this?”

“Interesting, interesting. Any long term plans in the end?”

“Eenope.”

Lyra shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, what happens, happens.”

“Not that I know of.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Can’t say for sure, really. We aren’t in it for the money or fame. We just want to make music and spread it around Equestria. If along the way we help some people through tough times, then hey, good for us.”

“We’re almost out of time here, but before we go outside for your performance, anything you want to say to those watching?”

I see everybody looking at me. “What?”

“You usually have something inspiring to say to ponies,” Mac says.

I raise an eyebrow. “Really? I didn’t think I was that good of a motivational speaker, let alone one.” Mac, Spike, and Lyra chuckle at this. “Alright, let’s see here… Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”

“And that’s all the time we have. After the commercial break, we’re going to hear a song from The All Equestian-Rejects, including a new song just for us here. Stay tuned for this, and more, after the break.”

“And we’re clear!” With this announcement from the stage director, the place erupts into a frenzy of activity.

The four of us stand up and make our way over to Vinyl, Luna, and Sonja. Vinyl gives us a thumbs up. “Great job guys, but you ain’t done yet. Grab your gear and head outside. You still got a show to do.”

I jerk my head backstage. “Come on, guys. Let’s rock this plaza.”

After a quick stop backstage for everyone to rest a little bit, those of us that can carry our gear grab it and make our way outside to the stage in the plaza. Unlike during our arrival, our path to the stage is clear of screaming fans thanks to a length of waist high metal fencing surrounding the stage. As we walk the path, we high five some fans, sign merchandise for others. Once actually on the stage, we take our positions and do a quick tune up of our instruments.

As soon as Early Riser comes up on stage with us, the crowd somewhat quiets down. He winks at us, a sign that the cameras are probably rolling. I wave to a couple of fans just for good measure. “What song are you going to play for everyone today?”

I grab the microphone. “Well, the first song we ever recorded, Move Along.”

“Can’t wait to hear it again. Mares and gentlecolts, The All-Equestrian Rejects!” The crowd roars in approval as Riser makes his way offstage. After that performance, and the commercial break where we tuned our instruments again, Riser makes his way back onstage. “We’re back once again with The All-Equestrian Rejects. I’ve been told you have a special song to perform for us today?”

I laugh. “Of course. We gotta do something special for everyone that came out today to see us! Isn’t that right, people?!” The crowd screams back in approval.

“What’s this song about then?”

I smirk. “It’s about taking that special someone out on the dance floor and just losing yourself to the music.”

Riser claps his hands. “Once again, The All-Equestrian Rejects!” Once he’s offstage, we jump into the song, Shut Up and Dance.

Once the song ends, I yell into the mic, “Thank you all! You’ve been a great audience!” We walk offstage, to the screaming and cheering of our fans, back into the studio to our dressing room. As soon as we enter, I turn around and hold my hand up. “Gimme five, people! We rocked this place!”

“Yeah we did!” Spike high fives me, followed by everyone else.

“Great work today, guys. You really knocked them dead out there,” Vinyl says.

Sonja barks, rushing up to me. I pet her as she playfully bounces around. “Yes, and your popularity is sure to increase with a princess supporting you.”

Vinyl shakes her head and laughs. “Damn, this is turning out to be way better than I thought! An actual princess supporting us. Do you realize how much prestige this is going to bring us?!”

“Enough to have us live like royalty!” Lyra says.

I chuckle. “So, anybody feel like celebrating?”

Mac shakes his head. “Sorry, gotta get back ta work on the farm.”

Spike rolls his eyes. “I would, but Twilight needs help around the library again.”

Lyra waves her hand. “I’m going back to Bon-Bon so we can have our own private party!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, worth a shot. I guess this is where we part ways since I’m spending a couple of days up here.”

Vinyl nods her head. “Yeah, after this, I’m heading over to Tavi’s place. As for your stuff, it’s being loaded onto the carriages as we speak.”

“Well then, let’s head outside and greet our fans one last time then.”

Going back outside to our waiting carriages, I notice that another is already waiting for Mac, Lyra, and Spike. Of course the fans were still waiting for us, so Luna had to conjure up another shield so we could walk in peace. Once at the carriages, Luna holds her hand out. “A pleasure meeting you, Mac and Lyra.”

Mac shakes her hand. “Likewise, Luna.” He then climbs into the carriage on the right.

Lyra shakes her hand as well. “Come down to Ponyville some time. We can show you how Ponyville likes to party.” Lyra climbs in after Mac.

Spike just waves. “See you later, Luna.” Once he’s in, the carriage lurches off towards the train station.

I motion towards the other carriage, causing Sonja promptly hops inside. “Ladies first.” Luna chuckles and climbs inside with me right behind her. The carriage lurches towards the castle once I’m in. Time to see what Canterlot, has to offer for a guy like me.

By day, I explored the city, did some shopping, or ate out. But when the moon rose high into the sky, that’s when the true fun began. With the aid of Luna, we scampered around town, hitting every joint that looked fun. Clubs, bars, restaurants, arcades, you name it. But the fun didn’t end even when I fell asleep. Each night when I laid down in bed, which turned out to be Twilight’s old room in the castle, go figure, Luna and I spent time in the dreamscape doing whatever we wanted. Ah, but the fun can only last so long. Today is my last day in Canterlot, so I figured I’d spend some time with Rarity. Well, as much as I could since word spread around the city about how popular she is now.

At breakfast with Celestia and Rarity, Rarity regales us with tales of her standing within society now. Celestia calmly listens and offers words of praise at regular intervals, but me, one can only act interested for so long when the same story is told over and over again. Before Rarity can start off on another tangent, I decide to butt in. “Rarity, while your stories are wonderful to hear, I need to know if you’d be willing to spend some time hanging out today. We haven’t just hung out once the entire time we’ve been up here.”

Rarity sighs. “Well, I do suppose you’re right and I’m terribly sorry for that. I’ve just been so busy socializing with the Canterlot elite that I haven’t really had time for anything else.”

I wave my hand while tossing Sonja a piece of bread, who eagerly snatches it from the air. “Don’t sweat it too much. I understand you want to enjoy your moment in the spotlight.”

“Thank you for understanding. I suppose I could make time for us to have lunch later today. How does twelve-thirty sound at this lovely little café called Celestial Wonders sound?” Do they really have to name everything in Canterlot around Celestia or Luna?

I shrug my shoulders. “Sounds good to me.”

Rarity claps her hands. “Wonderful! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be off. I have a very important auction to prepare for.”

Once Rarity leaves the room, I chuckle and take a sip of my coffee. “Celestia, we’re gonna need to stay one more night.”

Celestia nods her head. “Of course, though I was informed this was your last day in the city.”

“Plans change, Celestia.” I snap my fingers. “Shoot, almost forgot. We’re gonna need the ballroom reserved for tonight.”

“That can be arranged as well, though there will be an event outside as well.”

I smirk. “Perfect.”

Celestia raises an eyebrow. “Things you know about?”

I nod my head. “Eeyup.”

“Important lesson to learn?”

“Eeyup.”

“Gotcha.”

I snap my fingers twice and whistle, a command for Sonja to pay attention. “Come on, girl. Let’s go for a walk.” Sonja eagerly bounces around me as I stand up, ready to go outside in the beautiful weather.

“Enjoy the morning.”

I chuckle. “Of course, but I live for the night!” I call out over my shoulder.

Leaving the castle behind, Sonja and I make our way to the park. Under the wary eyes of their parents, some of the kids there decide to play with Sonja while I sit off to the side. She always was good with kids. After the kids and Sonja have their fill, I stop off at a couple of shops to look for a gift for Twilight. Checking my iPod, I see that it’s almost twelve. Time to go see Rarity.

With some directions from those willing to help me (Seriously, some fucking ponies tuned me out for whatever reason), I managed to find Celestia Wonders. Walking up to it reminds me of a Starbucks with its dark colors, pastries and sandwiches, and relaxing music playing. I spot Rarity waving me over from an outdoor table. Oh, she’s really playing up her status with that French themed outfit she has going, which really isn’t that hard on the eyes.

“I know a couple of good romance songs.”

“Shut it.”

Sitting down across from Rarity, I nod my head at her while Sonja lays down in the shade under the table next to my bags. “Good to see you, Rarity.”

“And to you as well, Blake.”

“Ahem.” I look over at the waiter to my right, “May I take sirs order?”

I glance at Rarity. “What’d you get?”

“Caramel Macchiato with extra caramel.”

“I’ll take that.”

“Very good sir.” The place isn’t that busy, so it is no surprise that my drink arrived in a short amount of time.

Paying the fifteen bit price, I calmly take a sip as my nostrils are filled with the aroma of caramel and a hint vanilla. “So, how’d the auction go?”

“Absolutely wonderful. Some of the items would have looked wondrous in the Boutique, but, alas, I was unable to purchase anything. Still, the auctioneer had a much larger turnout than expected thanks to mwah.”

I nod my head. “Good to hear.”

“So, tell me, how was your stay in Canterlot?”

“Pretty decent. The interview and performance went down without a hitch, possibly boosting our standing and fan base, the shopping is amazing, and the food is excellent. Hell, I even managed to get Twilight’s birthday present while here.”

Rarity smiles then sighs. “Wonderful to hear, but I’m afraid I won’t be joining you for your trip back to Ponyville tonight.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh? But Twilight’s birthday party is tonight. It wouldn’t be right of us to stay here and not be there for her.”

“I know that, dearie, but I’ve had so many obligations to the Canterlot elite that I haven’t had time to do anything for her. I haven’t gotten her anything since I’m making her a dress, but I haven’t even started on it. I can’t possibly face her.”

I smirk. “And this isn’t because you have something else going on?”

Rarity blushes and looks away. “Well, I may have promised Fancy Pants I’d attend his dinner party, and I can’t possibly disappoint him. So… I may have lied to Twilight and sent her a letter saying I can’t come to her party since Opal is sick and in no condition to travel.”

I sigh. “Rarity, what happens when she finds out the truth? What then?”

“A little white lie never hurt anypony, Blake. I’m sure she would understand if she ever found out.”

I shake my head. “Whatever. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Of course, dearie. Now, I simply must be off. Places to be, ponies to see, but it was wonderful for us to sit and chat.”

I raise my drink towards her. “Likewise. Enjoy your day.”

“Toodles!” She walks down the street, turning down a side street once she reaches it.

I chuckle. “Fly too close to the sun, Icarus, and ye shall come crashing down.” After finishing my own drink, I stand up. “Back to the castle, Sonja. We got some guests to greet.”

The walk back to the castle was uneventful, to say the least. I casually wave to Celestia as I pass by the throne room to my chambers to deposit my gift for Twilight tonight. Sonja is in no mood for anything else right now, so I let her rest in peace. Leaving the room, I see Luna making her way towards me. “Ah, Luna! I have wonderful news for you!”

She raises an eyebrow. “Oh? My sister just informed me you had something to say.”

“I’m spending another day here!”

Luna smiles. “Wonderful! We shall have to make this night one to remember then!”

“And that we shall, but I have a party to attend tonight first. Come, let’s walk and talk.” I set off down the hall, Luna falling into step beside me.

“Ah. Shall we plan for a dream activity only then?”

I laugh. “Are you kidding?! We gotta hit the town one more time before I go!”

“Splendid! I shall find us a suitable event for tonight!” Luna breaks off from me to wherever she needs to go when we reach the main entrance hall. “Enjoy your day, Blake.”

“Likewise, Luna!” I wonder if the girls have already arrived in town. With a shrug of my shoulders, I leave the castle and start wandering down the main street through town. A sight up ahead causes me to chuckle. “Well, look what the train brought in!”

The girls wave, with varied forms of greetings. “Hello, Blake! How are you doing?” Twilight asks.

“Great, actually. Never knew this town could offer so much to someone like me. Hey, Rainbow, how’s the wing holding up?”

She flaps them, hovering in the air. “Good as new! Can’t keep somepony as awesome as me down for long.”

I smirk and roll my eyes. “So, what brings you all up here? Isn’t your party tonight, Twilight? By the way, happy birthday.”

“Thank you, and yes it is. But after I received Rarity’s letter, I asked Pinkie if she could move the party up to here so we could all be together.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Moving an entire party seems like a lot of work.”

Applejack chuckles. “Ya still underestimate Pinkie?”

I shake my head. “I’m not saying that. It’s just gotta take a lot of work.”

Pinkie shakes her head. “It’s no trouble at all! Everything was super-duper easy to pack up and store! Most of it’s in my mane, see?” She reaches into her hair and pulls out a balloon, fully blown with the words “Happy Birthday” on it, before putting it back.

“Okay then… How’s about we go see Rarity? I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to know you came all the way up here.”

Rainbow smirks. “Yeah, but first, I gotta know something,” Applejack chuckles, “How’s Canterlot been treating you?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Like I said, Rainbow, great. Why do you ask?”

“It just seems like you’ve been having some fun with Princess Luna.” Rainbow waggles her eyebrows at me.

“Yeah, Blake, it seems like you’ve been having a lot of fun with her,” Pinkie adds.

I tilt my head. “So? We’re just hanging out like friends.”

Applejack snickers. “The paper seems ta think otherwise.” She tosses me a paper.

The front page screams with an image of Luna and I in the arcade competing against each other in the pony version of Dance Dance Revolution with a headline that reads, “Has Princess Luna found a new consort?” I glance through what the front page has to say, and then flip to another page for the full story. There, more pictures of Luna and I are found from our nightly events. I roll my eyes and toss the paper back. “Very funny. Luna and I are just friends, nothing more.”

Twilight clears her throat. “Ahem, shouldn’t we be seeing Rarity now?”

“Yes. If my memory serves me right, she should be at the castle right now in the… Eastern tower, I believe.”

As we set off back towards the castle, Fluttershy finally decides to speak up. “Um, Blake?”

I glance over my shoulder. “Hmm?”

“Do you know what Opal is sick with?”

Shit, shit, shit, shit. I don’t know any cat sicknesses or afflictions. Come on, think, Blake, think! “I think it was called cat scratch fever.”

“Nice save.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, I’ve never heard of that before. What is it exactly?”

Shit, shit, shit, shit! “Uh, exactly what it’s called? Seriously though, Opal will keep scratching herself until she practically scratches herself raw.”

“Wow, how’d she get that?” Rainbow asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “Not sure, really. Vet says it’s likely from an airborne virus, and they’re keeping her for a few days till she gets better.”

“Rarity must be worried sick! I would be if Gummy contracted it!”

“Uh, Pinkie? Cat scratch fever?” Applejack says.

Pinkie giggles. “Oops, silly me!” She gasps. “What if there is an alligator scratch fever?!”

I roll my eyes, but thankfully Fluttershy steps in to answer. “Pinkie, there is no such thing as alligator scratch fever. At least, I’ve never heard of it.”

“Oh, okay!” Thank God Pinkie dropped it at that. I don’t know how far down the rabbit hole I would be able to keep this lie going.

The rest of walk to the castle involved commentary from me about what Luna and I did during our stay. When they asked about Rarity, I just shrugged my shoulders. “Don’t know. Hell, I barely know since I only spent time with her this morning, and even then that was short lived. Most of what I know is from what the towns been saying.”

“Well, um, what do you know?” Fluttershy asks.

I chuckle. “To put it in her words, she is simply the type of pony everypony should know. She’s attended plenty of events up here that have skyrocketed her status with the Canterlot elite.”

“Good for her.”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Twilight, good for her.” Oh, I can’t wait till Rarity is exposed. As we near the castle entrance, two guards go to block our path. I wave my hand. “At ease men. They’re with me.”

The two guards nod and step back to their positions as one of them magically opens the door for us. Applejack whistles as the door shuts behind us once we’re all inside. “Must have some mighty big pull around here.”

I smirk and glance over my shoulder. “It pays to have friends in high places, no?” I wave my hand down a hallway to the right. “I’m sure Twilight could lead you too Rarity’s room since she practically lived here.”

Twilight nods her head. “I memorized the layout of the castle in case any emergences cropped up. I know exactly how to get to any given room in the castle.”

“Perfect. Go on ahead,” I jerk my head towards the throne room, “I gotta talk to Celestia about some things. I’ll catch up with you as soon as I’m done. Oh, and don’t mention anything about Opal, she’s finally calmed down enough to act normal again.”

Pinkie nods her head. “Got it! We won’t say anything about a pet that may or may not be a cat that may or not be named Opal that may or may not be the pet of Rarity!”

Not exactly giving me a lot of faith there, Pinkie. I raise an eyebrow and look at Applejack. “We won’t say anything, sugercube.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Good enough for me. See you girls later.” I watch for a little bit as they wander down a hallway before turning towards the throne room. The massive double doors are already open, so I stride in as Celestia is signing some scrolls handed to her by an aid. “Celestia, I’ve got another favor to ask of you.”

She momentarily stops to look up, smiling at me. She hands the scroll back to the aid. “What is it that you need, Blake?”

“I’m gonna need five more rooms for tonight.”

She nods her head. “That can be arranged, though I am curious as to why.”

I jerk my head behind me. “Rarity lied to Twilight about not being able to make it home for her birthday, so Twilight moved the party up to here. The girls are gonna need a place to stay tonight.”

Celestia nods her head. “Everything shall be ready for them. Though I hope Miss Belle learns an important lesson about lying to her friends.”

I nod my head. “And the other lesson is to not be afraid of the people you call friends.” Celestia looks at me with an eyebrow raised. “Ask Rarity tomorrow morning for more details.”

“Ah. Is there anything else you’d like to discuss before day court resumes?”

I shake my head and turn around to leave. “Nah, that’s all. Enjoy dealing with the nobility.” Whatever Celestia says, I tune out as I wander down the same hallway the girls took. With some minor directions from the guards, I make it to the base of eastern tower just in time for the girls to reach the bottom. “Rarity, isn’t it wonderful that Twilight moved the party up here so we could all be together?”

I notice her left eye twitch slightly. “Yes, we’re going to have a simply divine time tonight.”

Pinkie gasps. “Wait! I just realized we need a place for the party!”

I smirk. “Got ya covered. Celestia’s letting us use the ballroom for tonight. The only thing we gotta deal with is another event being right outside.”

Pinkie bounces in place. “Perfect!”

“So, what’s there to do in this town anyway until then?” Rainbow asks.

I smirk. “We talking about family friendly things or more nightly activities?”

“Um… I’d prefer we do something safe, if everypony else is okay with that.”

I check the time. “Hmm, two thirty, by the time we get there it’ll be three thirty… How does an early dinner sound to everyone, my treat?”

“While that does sound simply wonderful, I must decline for I am going to visit Opal at the vet.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, your choice, Rarity, but is everyone else game?” Nods from everyone signify the game plan. “Alright, we’ll meet later in front of the castle for the party tonight.”

Rarity splits off from us, waving over her shoulder as she goes off to who knows where. The rest of us head towards this restaurant I’ve heard so much about, The Princess and Castle. This is also going to be a good test to see just how much pull my name has around town now.

Apparently, throwing my name around does work! Once we reached the restaurant, all I had to do was say my name and we were treated to the VIP treatment. The best table in the house, great drinks and food, and great service! I could get used to this kind of stuff. Anyway, later that night, we head to the ballroom to find it decked out for a party. Even though the room is fairly large, Pinkie really only used a tiny portion of it for tonight.

Twilight, wearing that god awful yellow dress Rarity made for her, seems amazed at everything. “Pinkie, this is perfect! Thank you so much!”

“Oh, it was nothing! Now who’s ready to party?!”

The party is enjoyable to say the least, though I wish the games could have been more… Adult themed, but I digress. Twilight thoroughly enjoyed my gift of journals from Starswirl the Bearded (Had to do some digging within the shadier parts of Canterlot to find those). All throughout the festivities though, Rarity keeps dashing off at key moments with some excuse or other. She probably felt safe with her plan, until she came back with a croquet mallet in her hand.

I snicker slightly. “Uh, Rarity? What’s with the mallet? Pretty sure the piñata isn’t that dense.”

“Hmm?” She notices she’s still holding it. With a blush on her face, she hides it behind her back. “Ahem, no reason at all. I, erm, found it laying around.”

Twilight looks outside to see the nobles. “Rarity, were you outside with the nobles?”

Rarity sighs and hangs her head. “Yes, Twilight, I was.” I have to bit my lip to keep from laughing at Rarity being busted.

“Rarity…” Here it comes! “That’s a brilliant idea!”

“What?”

“What?”

“Pardon?” Even Rarity looks surprised.

“Mingling with the nobles to drum up business for the Boutique! The perfect opportunity is right outside to do so!” How smart is Twilight again? Seriously, School for Gifted Unicorns? How gifted are we talking here?

Rarity recovers much faster than I. “Of course! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first.”

Twilight smiles, walks over, and hugs Rarity. “It’s okay. I know how much your business means to you, so go ahead, I don’t mind.”

Rarity raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure?” Twilight nods her head, making Rarity sigh out in apparent relief. “Thank you ever so much, Twilight.”

Damn, and here is was hoping a lesson was going to be learned. “Hey, why don’t we show those ponies how we party, Ponyville style?!” And there’s the words I was hoping for!

“Oooh! More ponies to party with!” With that, everyone heads outside while Rarity stands in place, mouth hanging open.

I walk up beside her and pat her shoulder. It’s wrong but… “I’m not saying I told you so, but I heavily implied this was going to happen. The ball’s in your court now.” With that, I head outside as well to see the chaos already in full swing with the nobles looking on in disgust and horror. With a smirk, I grab a wine glass off a nearby table and stand off to the side. A couple of nobles look at me. In response, I raise my glass a little and nod my head. “Sup.”

I see Fancy Pants (Not that hard to spot him, what with him being the only one wearing a monocle) walk towards Twilight. “Excuse me,” Twilight stops her dancing to turn and face him, “But wherever did you get that dress?”

Twilight smiles. “Oh, my friend Rarity made it for me.”

The collected nobles gasp. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rarity trying to slink back inside. “Miss Rarity Belle?”

“Yes! She’s one of the best dressmakers in all of Ponyville.” At this point in time, the girls have gathered up behind Twilight.

“Ponyville, you say?”

“Yes. Rarity’s right over there actually!” She points towards Rarity, who freezes in place as all eyes turn to her.

Fancy Pants raises an eyebrow. “Miss Belle, is this true?”

Rarity doesn’t make a move, so I walk over and place a hand on her shoulder. “Decide, now. What you do here will define everything between us from here on out.” I try sounding as harsh as possible to get her to see the errors of her way. With that, I walk over towards the girls. Their faces slowly fall, and with my back to Rarity, I can only assume she is walking away.

“Yes.” I smirk as the girls faces light back up while the crowd gasps. “They are my best friends from Ponyville, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.” Rarity walks by me, motioning for me to follow her, as she pulls everyone into a group hug.

I hear some of the nobles laughing, causing my blood to boil. Thankfully before I do something rash, Fancy Pants steps in. “Well, I for one consider them charmingly rustic, and one of them is a famous musician.” This shuts the other nobles up.

I raise an eyebrow. “You’ve heard of me?”

“Of course, my dear boy. Might I say that it is superb to hear something different from today’s artists, especially one so talented.”

“Oh? Well, thank you sir. We try our best to bring something new each time.”

Fancy Pants takes his monocle off and cleans it with a handkerchief from his suit pocket. “And your friend Rarity certainly has an eye for dressmaking. I do believe I may have to order from her in the future.”

Rarity’s eyes light up. “Why thank you, Mister Pants.”

Fancy Pants chuckles. “Think nothing of it, my dear.”

Two of the nobles rush forward to speak with Rarity, but she brushes them off. “Mister Pants, I would like for you to meet my friends.”

At this moment, my iPod alarm goes off to the sound of a siren. Turning off the alarm, I scan one of the towers with a clear view of the courtyard. On a balcony of one of them, I spot Luna watching us. With a wave of my hand, she teleports down. “Are you ready for tonight, Blake?” The nobles swiftly bow at the presence of Luna.

I laugh. “Of course I’ve been ready! Wouldn’t dream of missing one more night to party with the princess of the night!”

“Huzzah! Let us make haste then! We have no time to waste!”

I place a hand to my chin. “Actually, I was thinking we invite someone else tonight as well.”

Luna raises an eyebrow. “Oh? And who would that be?”

I smirk and eye Twilight. “Well, it is Twilight’s birthday today…” Luna smirks. Without another word, she grabs Twilight's left arm while I grab her right. “Ready to see the nightlife of Canterlot?”

Twilight keeps looking back and forth between Luna and I. “What?”

“Twilight, you’re coming with us to party tonight. And we won’t take no for an answer. Luna, start pulling.” We start dragging Twilight out of the courtyard. Surprisingly, she isn’t resisting at all. Probably still in shock at the sudden surprise.

“But… I’m not even dressed properly to go anywhere else tonight!”

I catch Luna smirking. “Then consider the clothes I buy you for tonight as your birthday gift!”

“What?”

Welcome To The Family

“Permanent Vacation”

Welcome To The Family

Man, last night was a blast. After getting Twilight some more appropriate clothes for partying in, the three of us hit the town like there was no tomorrow. It’s bad enough that I don’t even remember when we got back to the castle. But on the plus side, Twilight really let herself go. Although hesitant at first, she slowly lost herself to the night. Probably didn’t help that we started her off with some strong drinks to ease her into mood.

Whatever the case may be, we got back to castle whenever. Though Twilight’s night may have ended then, mine was still in full swing thanks to my mind meetings with Luna. But even that had to come to an end. The morning after, and nursing a terrible hangover, was when I was swiftly reminded of Scootaloo’s upcoming birthday party in two days. As if I didn’t have enough on my plate right now.

After a few words in private with Celestia, the girls and I headed to the train station for our trip back to Ponyville. While Canterlot was nice, it’s nothing compared to the place I call home now.

The first day back in town wasn’t very hectic, nor was it eventful. At most, it was a pretty quiet day for the town. As for my activities that day, it consisted mostly of buying general food supplies, exploring more of the town, and relaxing at home. Tomorrow, however, is when things will get really exciting in town. But it will be all the better for it in the long run.

On the day of Scootaloo’s birthday, I purposely wait until after the party has started for a bit before making my arrival, what with me having to pick up some things and move them to my place. However, before I actually get to Sugercube Corner for the festivities, I stand a good distance away from it with Vinyl and Spitfire with the rest of the Wonderbolts hiding in the clouds above. “Vinyl, you got the sound system hooked up?”

Vinyl flashes a grin. “Taken care of. I got speakers set up everywhere around here to cover every square inch.”

I nod my head. “Thanks. Spitfire, you all set for the routine?”

Spitfire pulls her flight goggles down over her eyes. “Ready whenever you give the signal.”

I smirk. “Perfect. Alright, let’s make this a birthday party no one will forget! Positions everyone, it’s showtime!” Spitfire flies up into the clouds while Vinyl makes her way to her portable turntables hidden out of sight. I make my way to the front door of Sugercube Corner. I take a deep breath and idly finger the scroll stuffed in my back pocket. This is going to be the first steps into my new life, something I can’t take back or walk away from.

“You ain’t alone in this one. What we do now will benefit all parties involved. No matter what, I got your back.”

I smirk. “Thanks, Agent. I’ll be sure to include you on the Christmas card list this year.”

I calmly push open the door and throw my hands out. “So, where’s the birthday girl at?!” Ponies already at the party smile and wave to me as music plays from the jukebox. Decorations such as confetti and balloons hang around, along with a giant banner proclaiming, “Happy Birthday, Scootaloo!” A table in the corner is stacked high with wrapped gifts of every shape and size. And the amount of food?! Almost makes my mouth water. Almost.

“Blake!” Scootaloo runs up and wraps her arms around my waist.

I chuckle and rub her head. “Happy birthday, Scoots. So, how old are you turning?”

She steps back and looks up at me. “I’m—”

I wave my hands in front of me. “No, wait, let me guess.” I rub my chin and pretend to be deep in thought. “You’re turning twenty-one! Great! Someone break out the Jager Bombs for this girl!”

She playfully punches my leg. “Come on, I ain’t that old yet! I’m only turning twelve!”

I clap my hands. “Ah, double digits! A massive step in the aging process!”

At this point, Rainbow comes over and pats me on the back. “What took you so long?! You missed half the party!”

I motion for Scootaloo to go back to whatever she’s doing while Dash leads me to the girls. Pinkie hands me a piece of cake, which I accept without hesitation. After a couple of bites of the decadent chocolate cake, I shrug my shoulders. “Had to take care of a few things. After all, can’t show up to a birthday party without a gift, am I right?”

Pinkie nods her head. “Well, duh! Gifts are important and all, but you should have been here when we yelled surprise since it would have been much louder and Scootaloo would have been more surprised and you could of—”

“What Pinkie is trying ta say is that ya should of planned better… Ah think.” Pinkie nods her head.

I smirk. “Oh, Applejack, I planned this out perfectly.”

Twilight tilts her head. “But you showed up to the party late, which clearly shows a lack of time management on your part. Everypony knew about this party in advance, so you should have no reason to be late.”

“Well, that doesn’t matter. As long as Blake showed up and Scootaloo is happy, that’s all that matters. Right, girls?” Wow, thanks for helping me out, Fluttershy.

The girls all agree while I glance over my shoulder at the Crusaders and some of the other children playing some party games. A small smile crosses my face. “She’ll be even happier when I give her her gift.”

Pinkie gasps. “Speaking of gifts,” Faster than one can blink, she’s standing behind the counter ringing a bell. “It’s time for the birthday girl to get her gifts!”

Everyone makes their way over to the gifts table. Scootaloo takes her place at the head of the table where everyone can see her. One by one, she opens something from everyone gathered. Some of the gifts are common fare, like clothes, others are practical, like a new helmet or books (Gee, wonder who those are from?), and others still are… unique (Gee, I wonder who gave her that signed picture of Rainbow Dash?).

Finally, my turn arrives. All eyes turn to me. I take a deep breath to calm my jostled nerves. It’s now or never. I reach into my back pocket and pull out a scroll. Rainbow rolls her eyes. “That?! That’s what took you so long to get here? A scroll?!”

Applejack slaps the back of Rainbow’s head. Thanks, Applejack. I slide the scroll across the table towards Scootaloo. She slowly picks it up and rubs the back of her head. “Uh, thanks?”

I chuckle. “You gotta read it first.” As she goes to unroll it, I hold my hand out. “Read it to yourself only, and only the top part of it. The rest is just confusing words that even I had and still have trouble understanding.”

With an eyebrow raised, she unfurls the scroll. Her eyes slowly widen, and I see her mouthing the words. Tears form in the corner of her eyes as she slowly lowers to scroll the look at me. Out of the corners of my eyes, I notice everyone glancing back and forth from Scootaloo to me. “Is… Is this real? Did…Did you really do this?” Scootaloo chokes out.

“Blake, what did you do?” Twilight asks.

“I gave her what she wanted.” I hold my arms out. “Welcome to the family, Scootaloo Quinter.”

Faster than I thought possible, she vaults the table and wraps her arms around my neck with tears rushing down her face. I can barely understand what she’s saying, so I resort to just holding her close till she calms down. Once she’s calm enough, she leans back and looks at me. “How did you know?”

I smirk. “I followed you out of curiosity one day.”

“Can somepony please explain what in the hay is going on?!” Scootaloo and I turn to look at Applejack.

I hoist Scootaloo up so she can sit on my shoulder. “Say hello to my daughter.”

“Daughter?!” Practically everyone in the building says.

“But how can she be your daughter when she has her own family?” Oh, Sweetie Belle is the first to recover. Kinda shocked it was her and not Twilight.

Scootaloo hangs her head, so I answer for her. “Kinda hard to have a family when you don’t know them.”

Apple Bloom scratches her head. “Huh?”

Twilight’s eyes widen. “Scootaloo… You’re an orphan?” Wow, thanks for being so blunt, Twilight.

Scootaloo nods her head. “Yeah, I’ve been one for as long as I can remember.”

Rainbow shakes her head. “Hold on, squirt. Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

I hold my hand out. “That doesn’t matter. I understand why she never said anything, but we shouldn’t dwell on it. What matters is that I made my girl happy.”

Fluttershy claps her hands together. “Oh, that is so kind of you, Blake.” Slowly, everyone in the building starts clapping.

I smile and look up at Scootaloo, who is looking down at me with a smile on her face. “Well, everybody needs somebody to look up to.”

Quick as a flash, Pinkie grabs Scootaloo off my shoulder and wraps her in a hug of her own. “Oh, this is the best birthday ever for you! I can’t believe that we never knew about all this, cause then I would have tried harder to turn that frown upside down but I can’t do that if I didn’t know and if I—”

I tap Pinkie on the shoulder. “She does need air to breathe though.”

Pinkie giggles and promptly releases Scootaloo. “Oopsie! Sorry about that!”

Scootaloo takes a few deep breaths. “It’s fine, Pinkie.” Her eyes widen as her wings start buzzing. “Oh man, now I gotta get my stuff and move it to your place!”

I chuckle. “Already taken care of. Why do you think I was late in the first place?”

“Is this why you have that Wonderbolts bed at your place?”

I smirk. “Yes, Rainbow, this is why. I’ve had this thing planned out since I first found out.”

If at all possible, Scootaloo’s wings buzz even faster. “Oh man, this is really turning out to be the best birthday ever!”

“Well, if you don’t want what else I have…”

Scootaloo shakes her head. “I never said that!” This causes everybody in the building to laugh.

I turn to head outside. “Well, if everybody would please follow me. Oh, and Rainbow,” I point at Rainbow as I pass by her, “If you somehow ruin this moment, I will personally make your life a living hell.”

“Pfft, like I would do anything?”

“I’m just saying.”

Once outside, everything looks normal for a day in Ponyville, except for the couple of low hanging clouds hanging around outside. I hear Rainbow groan. “I told them the weather was supposed to be clear today! Can’t anypony do their job?!”

“Ignore it for the time being, Rainbow. Now,” I draw a line in the ground with my foot, “Everyone horizontally line up behind this line.” Everyone does as I say as I walk away from them.

“Okay, now what?” Applejack asks.

I turn around and spread my arms out, a huge smile on my face. “Sit back and enjoy the show!” From the multiple speakers mounted around the area, the song Can’t Hold Us starts playing. “Mares and gentecolts! May I present to you, as a gift for my daughter, Scootaloo, the one, the only!” I throw my hands up, “The Wonderbolts!”

The cheer from the crowd is overwhelming as the Wonderbolts burst out of their hiding places, performing aerial tricks in time with the music. Though the performance is amazing, I’m more focused on Scootaloo’s reaction. Suffice to say, she’s enjoying every moment of it if her face is any indication. I feel a slight wetness in the corners of my eyes. I can’t believe I’m going through with this. I mean, I never raised a daughter before!

“Don’t worry about it. You got the entire town for support if need be, and you got your head on straight. You’re already doing a great job.”

I can’t help smirking. “So, does this make me the father, and you the mother?”

“Oh, fuck off!”

I shake my head as the performance ending draws my attention back to reality. The cheering from the crowd is tremendous as the Wonderbolts land on the ground in front of us and take a bow. As the cheering dies down, Spitfire yells out, “Blake, get up here with the birthday filly!”

With an eyebrow raised, I make my way forward with Scoots, whose eyes are wide in awe. This wasn’t part of the plan, so I have no idea from here on out what the hell is gonna happen. Spitfire nods her head at me before bending down the Scoots level. “So, you’re the birthday filly Blake set this all up for?”

Scootaloo nods her head. “Y-Yeah.”

“So, what’s your name?”

“Sc-Sc-Scootaloo.”

Spitfire smiles. “Well, Scootaloo, it just so happens,” Spitfire snaps her fingers and a stallion I can only assume is Soarin hands her a present, “That I have a gift for a filly named Scootaloo.”

Scootaloo’s wings buzz. “Really?!”

Spitfire chuckles. “Unless you know of another filly named Scootaloo around here.”

Scootaloo snatches the present out of Spitfire’s hands. “Thank you, Spitfire!”

Spitfire stands back up. “Don’t mention it, kid.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You know you didn’t have to do this.”

Spitfire smirks. “What better way to inspire the younger generation than with a personal gift from the Wonderbolts?”

I smile. “And I thank you for it, as I’m sure my daughter does as well.”

“No way!” I turn to Scootaloo to see her holding a miniature version of the Wonderbolts flight suit. “This is awesome! My very own flightsuit!”

I raise an eyebrow. “How the hell did you get her measurements?”

I hear a cough from someone in the crowd. “That would actually be due to me, darling.”

I don’t even need to turn around. “Rarity, I would be very upset with you for not informing me of this ahead of time, but I’ll overlook it because Scoots is happy.”

Spitfire chuckles. “Glad we could do something for her. Hey,” She holds her hand out, “Hit us up if you’re ever in Canterlot again. I heard you got into some wicked stuff with Princess Luna.”

I gladly shake her hand. “Spitfire, you got yourself a deal.” With that, she snaps her fingers before taking off, with the rest of the Wonderbolts close behind.

“Can I go try on the suit?! Please?!”

I smile and jerk my head towards Sugarcube Corner. “Go on then, but make it quick. We got a party to get through.”

Scootaloo’s wings buzz. “Thanks, Blake! This really is the best birthday ever!” She races inside, with the children right behind her.

I chuckle as I watch her go. Ah, this day just keeps getting better and better. Welp, best to deal with Rainbow before I move on. “Alright, Rainbow, let it all out. Come on now, don’t keep me waiting.” Nothing, not even a hint of chromatic hair barreling towards me. “Rainbow?”

Applejack snickers and steps to the side. “She may have ah little trouble speaking right now.” Rainbow just stands there, mouth open and eyes wide.

I walk over as everyone, save for the girls and Spike, head back inside. I wave my hand in front of her face. “Uh, Rainbow? You still with us?”

“I could probably snap her out of it,” Spike says, hinting at his plan with a little breath of flame.

I shake my head. “Nah, that’s the last resort.”

A tiny bolt of lightning strikes Rainbow in the ass, leaving behind a small scorch mark on her pants. “Yeouch! Hey, who’s the wise pony who did that?!”

Pinkie, Applejack, me, and even Rarity start laughing as Twilight whistles to herself and rocks on her heels, refusing to look directly at Rainbow. “I never pegged you the type to do that, Twilight! Nice one!”

Rainbow grumbles to herself while rubbing where the bolt struck. “Stupid magic lightning bolts…”

“Well, ya were kind of distracted there, Rainbow.”

Rainbow’s eyes widen and she promptly grabs me by the shoulders. “Yeah! How in the world did you get the Wonderbolts to perform?!”

I smirk. “You don’t get popular as me without a few favors, a winning charm, and some royal help. Now,” I push Rainbow away, “I would like to enjoy this party that was so perfectly planned out. You know, the one I was late for because of my planning?” Okay, so maybe I needed to get one more dig in, but hey, can I be blamed?

I catch Twilight rolling her eyes as we all head back inside. “Yes, this party is perfect and your planning is superb.”

“Even though that’s sarcasm, I’ll take it!”

Later that night, Scootaloo and I finally head back to my… our home. During the rest of the party, Scootaloo never once took off her Wonderbolts outfit. It brings a smile to my face just to see her happy. Genuinely happy, not that front she put up for everyone. As soon as we entered our house, Sonja practically bounded around Scootaloo, eagerly lapping up the attention from us both. Before Scootaloo gets too excited about everything, I pull her into the kitchen and sit her down. “Alright, since I’m now your father and you’re living under my roof, I gotta set some ground rules.”

She groans. “Come on. Can’t that wait until tomorrow?”

I shake my head. “No, we do this now so you have time to think about them tonight.”

“Fine. Lay them on me.”

“First, swearing.”

“I know, I know. No swearing allowed till I’m older. The orphanage drilled that into us from day one.”

I smirk. “Well, how’s about we break that rule?”

She raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I’m saying that if you happen to swear around me and when we’re not in a public place, then I’ll ignore it. Granted, I don’t want to hear every other word be a swear.”

She smiles. “Really? I’m starting to like these rules now!”

I laugh. “I figured you would. Second, I want you back each night at nine, unless you inform me you want to sleepover with Sweetie Belle or Apple Bloom.”

“Same time as the orphanage, so I’m fine with that.”

“Third, you live here, so I expect for you to help maintain the house.”

She groans. “You mean like chores?” I nod my head. “Fine, I’ll do something around here.”

“That’s everything I wanted to talk about.” I stand up. “Would you like to see your room now?”

Her wings buzz. “Yeah! I’ve been waiting, like, all day for this!”

We head to her room. With a flourish, I open the spread my arms. “Welcome to thine palace, Scootaloo!”

She darts around my legs and dives onto the bed. “This is so awesome! My very own room!

I chuckle. “Only the best for my girl.” I gesture around the room. “What do you think of everything?” Granted, I couldn’t get much for her, so I opted for the basics like a dresser, desk, and a TV. I’m sure if she wants more, she’ll ask for it.

She climbs off the bed and fires up the TV. “Amazing! I can’t believe this is really happening to me of all ponies!”

I smile. “Glad you like it. Everything that was yours is in those two boxes right there.” I point to said boxes. “Go on, open up the right one.”

Doing so, she pulls out a pouch that jingles with each shake. Pulling the drawstring and looking inside, her eyes widen. “I don’t remember having this many bits!”

“Well, I can’t buy everything for you. That right there is around three hundred for you to use on whatever you want.”

“Thanks, Blake! Tomorrow after school, I’ll buy some new posters of the Wonderbolts!”

I smirk. “Oh, and consider that the first of many.”

She tilts her head at me. “Huh?”

“Well, I was taught at a young age to be mindful of what I bought when on a limited budget. As such, I’ll do the same thing with you by giving you an allowance every two weeks. And no, I won’t front you early if you run out.”

She runs over and wraps her arms around me. “Thanks for everything. I don’t know what I’d have done without ponies like you looking out for me.”

I wrap my arms around her as well. “Believe it or not, everyone has been looking out for you in their own way. I just took it one step further. And you’re welcome, kiddo.”

“So… Now what?”

I chuckle and go to leave her for the night. “This is your room now, do what you want! I’m gonna be hitting the hay soon, so do whatever you feel like until then.” I give her a half hour before she’s out like a light.

Once thirty minutes have gone by, I carefully open the door to her room and peek inside. Thanks to the moonlight streaming in from the window, I can see Scootaloo nestled underneath the covers with a serene smile on her face. With a content sigh, I go to shut the door when a whimper draws my attention to Sonja at my feet. With a jerk of my head, she heads into Scootaloo’s room and lies at the foot of the bed.

Shaking my head, I close the door just enough so that Sonja can still come and go as she pleases. As I wander down the hall towards my room, I pause at my diploma hanging on the wall. I lost so much coming here… but gained so much more, more than I ever dreamed. And things are truly alright with the world.

Author's Note

So, what do you think of Scoots age? Older, younger, just right? If we come to a general consensus, then I'll change it accordingly.

Sonic Rainboom or Flight of Fancy

“Permanent Vacation”

Sonic Rainboom or Flight of Fancy

The next morning rolls around, and after a breakfast of pancakes and eggs, I prepare to send Scootaloo off to school. “Alright,” I bend down and place my hands on her shoulders, “What’s the game plan for today?”

She rolls her eyes and groans. “Study hard and do my homework.”

I nod my head. “Good. And…?”

“Don’t cause any trouble.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And what else?”

She tilts her head. “Umm… Go crusading for our cutie marks after school?”

I chuckle and rub her head. “Sure, squirt. Just don’t get into too much trouble, okay?”

She smirks and shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, I’ll have you to come bail me out though.”

“And I’ll come running every single time. Now,” I stand back up and motion out the door, “Hurry up. You don’t want to be late for class.”

She chuckles and hops on her scooter. “Are you kidding? Have you seen how fast I go on this thing? I’ll be there before the bell rings!” She straps on her new helmet, and then buzzes her wings as she races off towards school. “See you when I get home!” She calls out over her shoulder.

I wave to her as she speeds off, a content sigh escaping my lips. Can’t believe this is still happening to me. Once she’s out of sight, I head back inside and finish cleaning up our breakfast.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“Hmm, not sure. Got any suggestions?”

“Trolling Twilight?”

I smirk. “Trolling Twilight.”

“Yes! What’s the plan?”

I head into my room and grab the Cloak and Dagger. Slipping it on, I head outside and carefully circle the library. Spotting an open window, I cloak and peer inside. Rarity, Applejack, Spike, Pinkie, and Twilight are rearranging the books on the main floor. “What better way to mess with someone who probably has OCD by changing their perfectly arranged shelving system?”

“You evil, magnificent bastard!”

I carefully climb in through the window, taking extra care to avoiding putting my full weight on the floor. Once in, I slowly make my way towards the center of the room. Oh, this is going to be perfect. As Twilight walks away from one of the bookcases to grab another book from a pile, I hastily run over. With no one looking, I randomly grab a couple of books and swap their positions before stepping back. Just in time too, since Twilight comes back over with the book in her hands. “Thanks for helping me out today, everypony.”

“Ah, it was no trouble at all, sugarcube.” I move over to the bookcase Applejack was at and start switching books there.

“Yeah, Twilight! We love helping out our friends whenever they need it!” Not even gonna try messing with the one Pinkie was at. Knowing my luck, she’ll somehow catch me.

“Come now, Twilight, you know we would be more than happy to help you whenever we can.”

“Like I had a choice,” Spike mumbles under his breath.

“Well, I’ll treat you all to something nice later today as my way of saying thanks.” Twilight tilts her head. “Hmm, that’s odd.”

Rarity glances over her shoulder. “What is, Twilight?” Heh, this is proving to be far easier than I had thought.

She pulls out the books I had switched around. “I could have sworn I had these in the right order.”

“Well, everypony makes mistakes, Twilight.”

Twilight places the books back in her correct order. “At least it’s an easy mistake to fix.” She hums to herself as she wanders over to another bookcase while I switch around some more books. “Alright, now I know somepony is messing with me.”

“Who is, Twilight? Is it that ghost that still haunts the library even to this day, maintaining a silent vigil over her pride and joy in life?!”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “Pinkie, we’ve already been over this.”

Pinkie giggles. “I know silly, I’m just teasing you!”

Twilight holds up some books in her magic grasp. “I know for a fact that this shelf was properly ordered when I walked away from it not even less than a minute ago.”

“Twilight, dear, ponies make mistakes. You probably were talking with us and got distracted for a moment. It happens to the best of us.”

“But… I…” Twilight sighs. “Yeah, you’re probably right, Rarity.”

I hold back my snickers long enough to swap some more books. As I step back, I hit something and tumble backwards. “Shit!” I rub the back of my head as I glance around. I look at what I tripped over to see a stray book on the ground.

“Aha! I knew Blake was in here!” Spike rushes over and places a claw on my leg, making my silhouette appear.

I stand up and de-cloak, brushing myself off. “Heh, good work, Spike. How’d you know?”

Spike smirks, rubbing his claw on his chest. “Well, I wasn’t sure, but there’s only one pony… Err, human, I know of that can go invisible. Since the books were getting switched around, I figured it had to happen when nopony was at a bookcase, so I laid a trap at the only case nopony was at.”

I smirk. “You clever dragon. You’ve done me proud, boy!”

“Blake! What are you even doing here?”

“Sorry, Twilight, but I was bored and needed a laugh, and messing with you is way too easy to pass up!”

“Well, dear, if you have nothing else to do, would you care to help us out, please?”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever. It’s not like we’ll get very far before something happens.”

Applejack raises an eyebrow. “What do ya mean?”

A window slams open as a blur bounces off the multiple bookcases before slamming into the ground. The impact causes each of the aligned books to tumble out to the ground, creating a sea of books that drowns everyone beneath them. Groans echo all around as everyone climbs out from under the books. “See? I told you it was pointless!”

“Oh my.” I glance up at Fluttershy staring at the chaos. “Is everypony alright?”

“Yeah, I think we’re good here, Shy. Though everyone may be a bit peeved that all their hard work was just wasted.”

“That’s the understatement of the century there, Blake.” Applejack snatches her hat off the ground and brushes it off.

Rainbow rubs the back of her head while hovering in the air. “Heh, sorry about that everypony. I’ll make it up to you all later, but I gotta get back to practicing for the Best Young Fliers competition. Wish me luck!” She bolts out the window she crashed through.

“What’s so special about this competition?” Twilight asks.

“Well, the winner gets to spend the day with the Wonderbolts, and we all know how much Rainbow idolizes them. She’s been practicing for a Sonic Rainboom, but she still hasn’t done it yet.” Fluttershy glances out the window. “Sorry everypony, but I need to go. Rainbow Dash needs me to support her.” She waves to us before chasing after Rainbow.

“Rainbow didn’t look like she needed help standing.”

I facepalm. “Pinkie, it’s just a figure of speech.”

“A Sonic Rainboom? My, what I wouldn’t give to see it again.” Rarity sighs.

“Well, considering I wasn’t looking at it the first time, I would like to see it again. Though Rainbow must be really having a hard time with it if she can’t replicate it.”

I snort. “Knowing Rainbow, she’s probably putting up a front to hide her nervousness.”

“Well, why don’t we all go support her then?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Pretty sure the competition is in Cloudsdale. Unless we can sprout wings within the next couple of minutes, then I say we’re screwed.”

Twilight bends down and starts searching through the books. “Actually, there was supposed to be a spell that could give a pony temporary wings. I might be able to cast it, if I can find the book.”

“Hold on, Twilight. I’ll find it!” Spike starts throwing books around in his endeavor to find said book.

Pinkie thrusts a book up. “Found it!”

Twilight grabs the book with her magic and starts flipping through pages. She idly scratches her chin. “Hmm…”

“Well, can ya do it?”

“It doesn’t seem that hard, though I can’t be sure until I actually cast it.” Twilight looks up at us. “Who wants to go first?”

I look away and rub the back of my head while whistling. Not gonna be a guinea pig for this experiment. Applejack pulls her Stetson down over her eyes. Pinkie rocks back and forth, humming the theme song to herself. Rarity glances at each of us before sighing and stepping forward. “For Rainbow Dash, I’ll do it!”

Twilight smiles. “Great! Alright everypony, stand back. I need absolute concentration for this.” The rest of us do as she says, leaving a large circle around Twilight and Rarity. Twilight glances one more time at the book before closing her eyes, the aura around her horn slowly growing in brightness, along with a dull hum slowly growing in volume. Rarity slowly levitates off the ground as tendrils of magic reach out from Twilight’s horn and wrap themselves around her to form a cocoon. The cocoon flashes, so bright that everyone watching covers their eyes.

As the brightness dies down, I peek between my fingers. “Oh. My. God.” My jaw hangs open as my arms fall to my side. Rarity hovers in midair, sporting an elegant, no, exquisite pair of butterfly wings. The colors are like someone squeezed the very essence of sunlight that glistens off the morning dew and molded them onto these wings. Coupled with her already natural beauty, it’s… so beautiful that I’m at a loss for words.

“Wowie.”

Applejack whistles. “You said it, Pinkie.”

Twilight rubs her head and groans. “Did it work?” She looks up, her eyes widening at the marvel before her.

And Spike comments… Huh, nothing. I look to my right to see the little guy passed out, twitching ever so slightly. I smirk and roll my eyes. Rarity blinks her eyes, seeing us gazing at her. She looks over her shoulder and lets out that weird laugh she has. “Dear Celestia, I look simply divine!” She gasps. “Mirror! I need a mirror!” Pinkie reaches into hair and pulls out a handheld mirror, tossing it to Rarity.

I chuckle. “Somewhat glad I didn’t volunteer.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Spike wrapped in Twilight’s aura as she levitates him upstairs. She catches me looking and smirks, rolling her eyes. “Why? The spell worked exactly like it was supposed to.”

I jerk my head towards Rarity fawning over her wings. “Can you image a guy with wings like those?”

Applejack smirks. “Ah don’t know there, Blake. Ya might actually look good with wings like that.” Pinkie and Twilight can’t help laughing at this.

“HA! GAAAAAAYYYYYYY!”

“By extension, that makes you gay too.”

“…I retract my previous exclamation.”

I smirk as well. “I’d much rather see you with them,” I lean in close to her face, “And nothing else on.” The blush that grows on her face is priceless as she swiftly pulls her hat down and looks away. I burst out laughing at how easy it is to mess with these girls! “Oh, you girls are too easy for this shit!”

“Ahem. If you are finished chatting, I believe we still need to equip ourselves for our little sojourn.”

Twilight rubs the back of her head. “Heh, that may be actually harder than I expected. That spell is actually harder than the book makes it seem.”

Applejack scratches her head. “Well, ah don’t suppose ya got another plan, Twilight.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, cause I was so looking forward to being a glorified butterfly. No offense, Rarity.”

“None taken, dear. Not everypony can look simply divine with wings.” Rarity circles in the air around us, practicing her flight. She stops and gasps. “Idea! I need to go design some outfits! Be back soon, darlings!” Rarity flies out the normal path to leave the library, otherwise known as the front door.

Pinkie grabs a book and shoves it to her face, muffing her voice. Twilight tilts her head. “What was that, Pinkie?”

Pinkie pulls the book away from her face before tossing it over her shoulder. “I said, maybe there’s another spell here that you can cast so that we can all go to Cloudsdale to see Rainbow Dash!”

I pick up the book Twilight found the original spell in and flick through it. I stop on a page and idly tap it. “Or she could cast this temporary cloudwalking spell.”

“What?” Twilight snatches the book out of my hands. “This… This is perfect! According to this, this spell allows any non pegasus pony to walk on clouds! And it’s easier to cast!”

I clap my hands. “Well alright! Cast that baby and let’s try it out! Hell, I’ll even go first!”

“Perfect! This shouldn’t take long.” Twilight’s horn glows, the same aura hovering around me. I stifle a laugh from the tingling sensation. As fast as it happens, it dissipates just as fast. “There, done!”

I raise an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

“Yeah, I expected something flashier! With explosions and fireworks and music and—”

“Pinkie, probably not the thing Blake wants ta hear right now.”

Pinkie giggles. “Oopsie, sorry!”

I chuckle. “No problem. Now to truly test this.” I head outside and flag down a passing pegasus. “Yo, mind dragging a cloud down here?” The pegasus nods his head before grabbing a cloud and dragging it down to my level. “Thanks man.” He flashes a thumbs up before flying off to wherever. With a smirk on my face, I dive onto the cloud. Like the Poison Joke incident, the cloud doesn’t give under my weight.

“That looks like fun!”

I glance at the girls. “Heh, you don’t know the half of it.”

“Yes! Alright, I’ll cast the spell on the rest of us. Pinkie, Applejack, please stand still.”

I roll off the cloud just in time for Pinkie to dive on top of it. “Wow! This is the comfiest thing I’ve ever sat on, and I’ve sat on a lot of things! No wonder Rainbow Dash likes them so much.”

Applejack scratches the back of her head. “Uh, hate ta be the bearer of bad news, but how do we get ta Cloudsdale?”

Twilight scratches her chin. “Well, I still have my old hot air balloon stashed away. I just need to set it up, and we could all ride that to Cloudsdale.”

“Only if you purchase the toy for thirty dollars! And don’t forget to purchase the exclusive castle playset to go along with it! Remember kids, your parents don’t love you unless they buy our toys!”

“Sounds like a plan, sugercube.”

Pinkie gasps. “We’re gonna need snacks for the trip! Be back with food!” With that, she bounds away from us, presumably to Sugarcube Corner.

“I’ll get Rarity to hurry up with whatever she’s doing.”

“Applejack, would you mind helping me set everything up? It’ll go faster with the two of us.”

“Sure thing, Twilight.”

I mock salute to the girls. “See you in a bit then.” I wander away towards Carousal Boutique.

“So, you’re really planning on going up to Cloudsdale then?”

“Yeah, about that… I’d like a plan b option here just in case this spell fails.”

“What’d ya like?”

“A simple parachute this time.”

“Ahh, come on. Go for something a bit more exciting, like a jetpack or Warp Star!”

I roll my eyes. “And where do you expect me to stash something that large? Besides, I’m only having it as backup.”

“Fine, have it your way. I’ll have it ready for you soon. But can we please get something more exciting next time?”

I chuckle. “No promises.”

Getting Rarity to actually leave the Boutique was easy, provided that I had to explain to her that we were on a schedule and that the wings were only temporary and would be useless to create an outfit incorporating them. With her along, I head back to the library, now equipped with a parachute (Thankfully not ACME brand) slung over my back. By the time we get back, Twilight and Applejack have the balloon set up and ready to go, and Pinkie has food for everyone.

After Twilight’s pre-flight check, we all climb into the basket, minus Rarity, who wishes to get some more practice flying. Once we’re settled in, Twilight manipulates the… whatever it’s called, to lift us off the ground. As we rise higher, I glance down at the slowly shrinking town, letting out a whistle of appreciation at the size of Ponyville. From the sky, I can see that the town resembles a star, what with the town hall being the central building and multiple districts jutting off from there.

“So, where’s Cloudsdale at exactly?” I glance at Twilight.

“According to my calculations, it should be northwest of here. You hear that, Rarity?”

Rarity hovers by the basket. “Of course darling. I shall see you there.” She flies off towards the west, staying just in view as we lazily float behind her.

“Mind if I ask you a question, Blake?”

I turn around and sit down, leaning back against the basket. “Shoot.”

“What’s with the saddlebag on your back?”

“Yeah, ah’m curious ‘bout that too. Ya left without it, came back with it.”

“Just a little extra… Insurance, in case something goes wrong.” I slap Pinkie’s hand reaching for the rip cord. “Don’t touch that, unless you want to kill us all.”

Twilight gulps. “Is that…”

I raise an eyebrow. “Another weapon? No, but in this confined space, it could be.”

“Good to know…” Pinkie says.

“Relax. I don’t plan on using this thing today. Just wanted it in case things go south.”

“Well, if you say so. Why don’t we settle down for the trip? It shouldn’t take very long to get there.” Twilight says.

Applejack shrugs her shoulders and follows my lead, sitting down with her back against the basket and her Stetson down over her eyes. Twilight silently works the controls, occasionally checking a scroll. Pinkie can’t sit still, moving from side to side to peer out to the ground below.

“You didn’t have to scare them like that.”

“Ah, but fear makes people listen, makes them take everything at face value.”

“Stopping them so they don’t question where you’re getting this shit?

“Yep.”

“Nice.”

After what seems like an eternity to me, Twilight finally speaks up. “We’re here.”

I stand up and peek out over the edge of the basket. Seeing nothing around or below us, I look up, spotting Rarity just passing through the cloud layer. “Ya know, I would have liked to see the city from above, but I digress.”

The balloon rises into the air, passing through the cloud layer as well. “Girls?! What are you all doing here?!”

“Duh, coming to see our friend win this competition!” I jump out over the side of the basket.

“No! Wait!” Rainbow yells out, right before my feet touch the clouds. When I don’t pass through, she stands there with her mouth open. “How? Only pegasi can walk on clouds!”

“Well, after you crashed into the library and left, Twilight came up with the idea to come support you too! She cast a spell that gave Rarity wings but it turned out to be harder than she thought so we found another spell that allowed all of us to walk on clouds!”

I jerk my thumb over my shoulder. “What Pinkie said.”

Rainbow shakes her head, smirking at us. “Thanks everypony. Heh, not like I’m gonna need it. I got this thing in the bag!”

I catch Applejack rolling her eyes. “Typical Rainbow.” We all have a good laugh at that.

“The competition isn’t for a couple of hours. You guys want to tour the weather factory till then?” Rainbow gestures towards the massive factory spurting out clouds off in the distance.

“That sounds like a splendid idea! I’ve always been curious how the weather is made.” General agreement from the rest of us resounds at Rarity’s statement.

As Rainbow starts to walk away with everyone else behind her, I grab Fluttershy’s arm to stop her. Everyone else keeps moving forward, not noticing that we had stopped. “Hey, how’s she holding up?”

She rubs her arm and looks at Rainbow’s disappearing form. “Some bullies from flight school made fun of her, saying she’s a terrible flier and that she can’t perform a Sonic Rainboom. She won’t admit it, but she’s questioning herself now. Oh, I wish I could do more to help her.”

“That’s why we’re here. Whether she knows it or not, I know her better than she thinks. And if we run into those bullies again, you let me deal with them.”

She sighs. “Thank you. I’m sure Rainbow appreciates everypony coming to support her, even though she doesn’t show it.” She blushes slightly and looks down. “Umm… We should probably catch up before everypony questions what we’re doing.”

I rub the back of my head. “Heh, yeah… Wouldn’t want that to happen…” I cough. “You know the city better than I do.”

“Oh… Yes, the factory is this way.”

Upon arriving, each of us had to put on white coats and hardhats just to tour the place. Our first stop was the rainbow pools outside. “Here’s where the rainbows that shine across Equestria are made.” Rainbow stops at one of the pools. “I’m not too sure about the details, but what I do know is that the light is collected from the air and transformed into liquid form. What’s in this pool are the unfiltered colors.”

I roll my eyes. Not gonna even question how that works, or even suggest how it could be done without factoring in magic. Pinkie dips her hand into the pool, the thick, sludge like substance oozing off her hand when she pulls it out. “Anypony want a taste?!”

I chuckle. “Pretty sure tasting the rainbow takes a whole new meaning here. That probably isn’t gonna taste fruity anyways.”

“Well…”

“Quiet you.”

“More for Pinkie then!” She shoves her hand into her mouth, slurping sounds coming from her before she pulls her now clean hand out. Her eyes go wide and her face flushes a nice shade of red. “Spicy!” She rasps out before dashing off to find water.

“Never thought ah’d see the day when something was too hot for Pinkie. Ya know she drinks hot sauce straight from the bottle?” Twilight cringes at that.

“Oh, I do hope she’s alright…”

I roll my eyes. “Come on, Shy. This is Pinkie we’re talking about. Give it ten seconds—”

“SPICY!” Pinkie’s shout rings out across the factory.

“Make that ten seconds and gallons of milk.”

Rainbow shrugs her shoulders. “Alright then, let’s keep moving.” She leads us to a set of double doors nestled in the side of the central tower. Pushing open the doors, she makes a grand sweeping gesture. “And here is where the snowflakes are created. Each one is hand crafted so that no two are ever the same.”

“Oh my. They’re simply divine to look at.” Rarity hovers closer to them, but the beat of her wings causes the snowflakes to scatter throughout the room. The workers turn to glare at her, but their expression turn to pure amazement at the sight of her.

“Woah, where’d you get wings like that? They’re beautiful!”

“Yeah, you should enter the Best Young Fliers competition with wings like those!”

Rarity basks in the attention, doing little twirls and poses midair for everyone watching. “Really? Well, I never thought about it.”

“You should totally enter the competition! With wings like those, you’re going to win!”

“Well, who am I to deny everypony the chance to see these wings? Very well, I shall enter the competition!” Rarity flies out the doors, the crowd of workers right behind her.

Rainbow hangs her head and mumbles under her breath. I glance at Fluttershy to see her looking at me as well, obviously knowing how Rainbow feels. I think it’s time for a change of topic. “I’m back!” Pinkie drops down from the ceiling, startling everyone.

“Umm, what’s the next place to show everypony, Rainbow?”

“Actually guys, I’m gonna end the tour here. I wanna get one more practice session in before the competition.”

“Alright sugarcube. We’ll be rooting for ya from the stands.”

Rainbow chuckles. “Heh, like I’m gonna need it, but thanks anyway.” She bolts out the doors as the rest of us wish her luck to her retreating form.

“So, what’s next?” Twilight glances at each of us for suggestions.

I raise an eyebrow. “Considering that none of us, save for Fluttershy, have lived here, I think she would be the one to ask for suggestions.”

We all turn to Fluttershy, who glances from the ground to us. “Well, if everypony wants to, there is this nice little bakery near the coliseum where the competition is going to be held that we could go to.”

I rub my hands together. “New places to eat, and a show afterwards? Hell, I’m game.”

“But I brought snacks, remember?”

“Pinkie, we can save those for the competition, alright?”

“Okie dokie, Twilight!”

“Well, Fluttershy, you know the way. Take us to this bakery.”

After our nice little stop at the bakery for food and drinks, where I also got a lecture from Twilight about how pegasi can pass on their cloudwalking abilities to other objects so they don’t pass through clouds, we headed to the coliseum. Based on how Cloudsdale has that Roman style feel to it, I wasn’t surprised to see the coliseum look like the one in Rome. We make our way up to our seats, which are actually built into the clouds themselves.

Once everyone has filed into their seats, an announcer comes over the speakers scattered throughout the place. “Welcome everypony to this year’s Best Young Fliers competition!” The crowd cheers. Okay, the acoustics of this place are great if the sound from the crowd is this loud! “Please welcome this year’s judges, Princess Celestia and the Wonderbolts!” Princess Celestia, Spitfire, Soarin, and some other pony I can’t name right now gracefully fly in and land on a box seat looking cloud.

As the cheering dies down for them, I nudge Fluttershy. “Hey, did you get enough practice with your cheering?”

She rubs her arm. “Oh, I hope so. I just don’t think I’m good enough yet.”

“Don’t fret about it much, sugarcube. Ah’m sure yer just fine.”

“Come on, let’s hear it!” Pinkie throws some popcorn in her mouth and stares at Fluttershy.

“Um, okay.” She takes a deep breath, before letting out an adorable yay.

I blink. “Wow. That was… really great, Shy.”

Her eyes light up as her smile grows. “You really think so?”

“For you, yes.”

She leans over and hugs me. “Ah, thank you, Blake.”

I pat her on the back. “You’re welcome, but I think our attention should shift back to the competition.”

“Our contestants will be judged on their overall flying skill and their ability to wow our judges. With that out of the way, let’s welcome our first contestant!” Living on The Edge starts playing as a female pegasus walks out from backstage and starts flying around.

I laugh. “I like this mare! She’s got excellent taste in music!”

Once her performance finishes, everyone cheers for her as she heads backstage. One by one, more contests come out and perform. While the eleventh competitor is performing, Twilight asks us, “So, who’s everypony’s favorite so far?”

“Oh, I liked number ten. She seemed like such a nice pony.”

“I liked the one that did those aerial flips!”

I raise an eyebrow. “So… All of them?”

“Yeppers!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, I’m holding out for Rainbow to win this, if she ever appears.”

“Ah’ve been wondering when she’s supposed ta come out, her and Rarity.”

I chuckle. “Rainbow’s excuse will be that they saved the best for last, while Rarity’s will be that perfection takes time.”

Twilight giggles. “Well, that does sound like something they’d say.”

As number eleven heads backstage, the announcer speaks up. “Due to time constraints, our last two competitors will be performing together, so keep an eye on them both!” Classical music starts playing as Rarity gracefully flies out in, what is my opinion, the gaudiest thing to ever be worn by her and starts ballet dancing in the air. Rainbow, for her part, zips out and starts weaving in and out of the poles situated at the bottom of the coliseum.

I glance at the crowd, seeing most eyes drawn to Rarity. Rainbow notices this too, and crashes into one of the poles. I shake my head as this goes unnoticed by the crowd. Rainbow shakes it off and heads for some rings hovering in midair. While doing loops for one, Rainbow crashes into it.

Fluttershy gasps. “Oh my.”

I pat her on the shoulder. “She’ll make it, trust me.”

As Rarity rises higher into the air, Rainbow bolts up to her level and easily surpasses her. Rarity, perfectly aligned with the sun, spreads her wings to create a kaleidoscope of shimmering colors on the coliseum. However, her wings quickly burn up from the high heat and she plummets towards the ground, screaming her head off and flailing her limbs. Everyone leaps out of their seats to watch.

“Oh no!” Twilight screams.

The Wonderbolts leap into action, easily catching up to her. However, Rarity strikes each of them in the face by accident, knocking them out. In a straight dive, Rainbow races towards them, still a fair distance away due to her being at a higher altitude. “Come on, Rainbow! You can save them!”

I glance at the crowd to see their reactions. Oh look, Celestia still hasn’t moved. Wonderful ruler right there, ten out of ten. Across the way, I notice a little turquoise filly leaning over the edge to watch what’s going on below. Judging from her size alone, I don’t think she’s very capable of flight yet.

Applejack apparently notices this too. “That filly’s gonna fall if she keeps that up!”

Sure enough, the filly leans a bit too far and falls off the cloud. A screaming child is hard for everybody to miss as more screams ring out. “Somepony needs to do something!” Pinkie screams.

“Ah hell.” Stepping back slightly, I prepare myself to do this by throwing on some sunglasses I stashed in my back pocket. The things I do for these ponies.

Twilight looks at me, her eye wide. “Blake…”

I shake my head. “Sorry, it’s what I do.” With that, I take a running start and swan dive off the cloud.

“Blake!” The girls shouts are drowned out by the wind whipping past my ears. My teeth chatter at the extreme cold I’m being subjected to. I angle myself almost vertical to both increase my speed and head towards the filly. She notices me, her eyes wide with a mixture of both fear and hope, and does her hardest to reach towards me. Come on, come on! Not letting this filly die today!

As I reach her, I notice a slight cone forming around Rainbow a great distance below me. Snatching the filly, I yell, “Hang on tight!” She squeezes as hard as she can around my neck while below, the cone gradually tightens around Rainbow.

Without so much as a warning, a boom cracks out as a massive rainbow shockwave extends out across the land. Rainbow bolts towards Rarity and the Wonderbolts at speeds almost impossible to believe, the only indication I have of her at this point being the rainbow contrail left in her wake. As quick as she darts down, she’s whipping back up with the Wonderbolts on her back and Rarity in her hands.

“Ahem!”

Right, still falling. With one hand, I yank the rip cord on the chute. With a jerk, I’m now vertical with the filly still clinging to me. With my left hand, I grab the left handle and steer us towards a cloud below. As I’m steering us, my eyes widen at the still expanding Sonic Rainboom. I will admit, that thing is amazing to see! “Hey, check out the rainbow.”

The filly lifts her head from my shoulder. She gasps at the sight of the ever expanding Rainboom, her eyes wide with wonder and joy. “Hang on now, I need both hands here.” She goes back to clinging to me as we near the cloud. I pull on both handles to slow us down.

Thankfully, I picked a cloud large enough for me to land on. As soon as my feet touch, I hastily slip off the parachute before I’m dragged back from any stray winds. Now that we’re safe, I lower the filly to the cloud and sit down, letting out a sigh of relief. The filly looks at me, before promptly wrapping her arms around me. “Thank you.”

I smile. “No problem. Be more careful next time though, I might not be around to dive after you.” I look out across the expanse of sky, my eyes following the rainbow stretching across it.

The filly follows my gaze. “Wow…” See, this is what I live for, making sure that somebody else can see these moments too.

“Need a lift?”

I glance over my shoulder. “If you wouldn’t mind, Celestia.” I lurch slightly as the cloud starts moving up, back to the relative safety of Cloudsdale.

As we pass through the bottom layer of Cloudsdale right outside the col, the filly’s mother runs over. The filly jumps up and leaps into her mother’s arms. Due to the mother being a hysterical jumble right now, I can’t understand anything she is saying, though I do make out something along the lines of thank you. I nod my head. “No need to thank me, just doing what was needed.”

The mother nods her head, heading away with the filly in her arms. The filly waves over her mother’s shoulder. I wave back as Celestia puts a hand on my shoulder. “That was very brave of you, Blake.”

I chuckle. “Brave, or foolish. There is sometimes no difference between the two. Either way, I’m not gonna stand by while I could do something.”

“It matters not what you see it as, it’s the fact that you did something to prevent danger to others at the risk of yourself. A noble trait to have in these times.”

I turn my head to look at Celestia. “One that I’m willing to uphold throughout my life, but that is a discussion for another time. We should get back to crowning the winner today, though I have no doubt I know who it is.”

Celestia chuckles as she walks into the coliseum proper with me right behind her. Most, if not all of the crowd, are still in the stands at this point. In the center of the coliseum itself is Twilight’s balloon, Rarity standing in the basket as everyone huddles around it. As we near, I chuckle. “Haven’t you heard the story of Icarus before, Rarity? Fly too close to the sun, and ye shall come crashing down.”

Everyone turns to me. “Blake!”

I hold my arms out. “In the flesh.”

“What were you thinking?! What was that thing you used?!” Twilight practically shouts in my face.

“Twilight, you really need to ask that? Told you before, as long as I can do something to save someone, I will. No matter the risk to myself, I’ll be there. As for how I survived the fall, that backpack I was wearing was actually a parachute.”

Applejack tilts her head. “A what now?”

“Parachute. It’s just a large chute that when I pull the rip cord—”

“Oh! Was that that thing I was reaching for earlier?!”

“Correct, Pinkie. Anyway, pulling that cord forces the chute out of the pack, where it rapidly expands. Once it’s expanded, the chute slows my decent by way of the air rising up catching within the chute. Two handles that are attached to the chute allow me to move around in the air by pulling them.”

“Oh, I’m just glad you and that filly are safe.”

I chuckle. “So am I! First time ever parachuting, and it was exhilarating!”

Twilight raises an eyebrow. “It was your first time doing it, and you still risked your life?!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Call it stupidity, bravery, or whatever, I did it. The filly is alive, I’m alive, let’s drop it at that.” I nod my head towards Rarity. “However, I’m curious to hear what Rarity has to say after all this, considering she nearly died as well.”

“As am I.”

Rarity clears her throat. “Like I was just saying to Rainbow, I’m terribly sorry for putting myself before her. I got caught within the moment, and lost sight of the reason why we all came here. I should’ve been there to support you, like we said. It took my hooves leaving the ground, figuratively and literally, for me to realize this.”

Rainbow waves her hand. “Don’t sweat it, Rarity.” She smirks. “I should be thanking you though. Did you see that Sonic Rainboom?! Hah! Told them I could do it! The impossible has become possible!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Celestia motion behind her. Spitfire and the other Wonderbolt I couldn’t identify before come out (Seemingly okay after getting knocked out by Rarity, of all ponies), in their hands a golden laurel with a lightning bolt attached to a large wing on the left and right sides.

Celestia grabs the laurel from them before turning to Rainbow. “And because of that,” Her voice gets louder, “I am proud to proclaim Rainbow Dash as this year’s Best Young Flier!” The crowd goes wild as Celestia places the laurel on Rainbow’s head.

Rainbow beats her wings in excitement. “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! This could be best day ever!”

I smirk. “I do believe that the winner also got to spend the day with the Wonderbolts?”

If anything, her wings beat harder. “Scratch that, this really is the best day ever!” Rainbow turns to us. “I’ll see you back in Ponyville! Right now, I’m gonna go hang out with the Wonderbolts!” She zips over to Spitfire and bombards her with questions as they lead her backstage.

I turn to Twilight. “Well, we came all the way up here for this. Now how’s about we head back down to the safety of the ground?”

“I don’t see why not, unless somepony else wants to do something while we’re here?” Nobody objects to this, so we all climb into the basket.

Before Twilight starts lowering us, I snap my fingers. “Oh, one more thing, Celestia. Tell Luna that she, and yourself of course, are invited to a movie night in two days. Same goes to everyone else here.”

Celestia shakes her head. “I must respectfully decline, though I’m sure my sister will be happy to come.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Suit yourself. Alright, Twilight, fire this baby up and get us back on the ground!”

As we lower through the cloud layer, Applejack speaks up. “Ah got too much work at the farm right now ta come over. Gotta get ready for cider season.”

“Fair enough, just send Apple Bloom along then.”

Twilight rubs the back of her head. “I’ve sorta fallen behind on my studies, and I’d like to—”

I hold my hand up. “Say no more. I understand.”

I glance at Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy. “And you three?”

“Duh, like I’m gonna miss a movie night!”

“I should be able to swing by, but I hope you don’t mind if Sweetie is along.”

“Nah, bring her. Can’t break up the Crusaders, am I right?”

“Umm… I’ll be there.”

“Great. Same time as usual good for everyone?”

Everyone agrees on our time, so the rest of the trip is spent in relative silence as everyone winds down from today.

Author's Note

So, by now, I'm pretty sure most of you have saw The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows. If not, then spoilers! And if we remember right, there was this scene.

Hmm... Seems familiar... Like that thing I wrote back in Suprise!

“Come on down to Crazy Dave’s Wacky Wave Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Stallions—”

Movie Night Three: Rule of Three

“Permanent Vacation”

Movie Night Three: Rule of Three

Ah, Saturday, how I look forward to you each week. And now with more fervor than before since I can actually spend them with Scootaloo. But… That may prove to be an issue today.

“Come on! Do I really have to go out shopping with you today?”

I motion out the front door. “Yes, you do. I would like to spend some father daughter bonding time today.”

She huffs. “Fine. Just try not to make it too boring.”

I chuckle as I step outside, Sonja right on our heels. “Well then, I may have to spice things up then.”

Scootaloo turns her head towards me as Sonja runs around in the fresh air. “How?”

I rub my chin in thought. “How about something from Sugercube Corner and a quick stop at Quills and Sofas for some more stuff for your room?”

She smirks. Ah, there’s my girl. “That does make things a bit more awesome.”

I smirk as well. “Awesome enough to rival Rainbow Dash?”

She playfully punches my leg. “You wish!” We both laugh.

As our chuckles die down, I decide to get down to brass tacks. “Alright, I know I said I wanted you with for some bonding time, but I also wanted you to learn some things today.”

She groans. “Great, and I though shopping couldn’t get any lamer.”

I whistle for Sonja, who falls in step beside me. “Scoots, I want to know that when you get older, you can take care of yourself. That means learning basic skills in life.” I point to Sugercube Corner. “And today’s lesson doesn’t begin until we get something to eat.”

She smiles and looks up at me. “Whatever I want?”

I chuckle and rub her head. “Whatever you want.”

After our treat, being two vanilla milkshakes, we head towards the marketplace. Scootaloo seems to have perked up a bit, but I can tell she isn’t hyped about this. “So, what am I supposed to learn about shopping? It’s simple enough to understand, even for me.”

I raise an eyebrow at the already packed marketplace. “First, don’t put yourself down like that. You can be smart if you put your mind to it. Secondly, what do you know about haggling?”

“Haggling? Sounds lame.”

“So getting stuff cheaper sounds lame? Come, let me show you the tips and tricks of haggling.” I motion for her to follow me as I head over to a stand proudly displaying multiple vegetables. The owner is that one stallion that scammed (Maybe, wasn’t around for that day) Fluttershy out of her bits back when Iron Will was in town. I casually browse his selection, waiting for him to notice me.

“See anything ya like?” Ah, there we go.

I glance up at his smiling face. “Possibly. How much for a couple of carrots?”

“Ten bits per carrot.”

“That’s a bit out of my price range.” Honestly, far too expensive at this point.

“Sorry, I gotta make a profit here.”

I nod my head. “Then have a good day, sir.” I wander away from the stall.

Scootaloo grabs my arm. “What was that? You need carrots, don’t you? Go back and buy them so we can get out of here faster.”

I shake my head. “No, because that would break the first rule of haggling, showing need over an item. If he found out that I really needed those carrots tonight, what do you think his reaction would be?”

She scratches her chin. “Um, sell them to you?”

“No, he’ll raise the price because I need them.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Why? Why not just sell them at the first price instead of losing a sale?”

“Because at that point, I’d be willing to pay anything to get it.” At her confused expression, I rub my chin in thought. “Let me put this in terms you’d understand. Suppose your scooter needed a part to fix it, and the only place to get that part was from one vendor. You still with me here?”

“Yeah.”

“You can’t ride your scooter till you have the part fixed, and you really want it fixed since it’s your favorite thing. The vendor will jack the price up higher so that you’ll pay the higher price.”

“And all because I really want the part and can’t find it anywhere else! I get it now!”

I pat her head. “See, you’re learning. Another quick tip is to show interest in the item, but say something like the price is too high. If they don’t lower the price after that, then they aren’t willing to lower it at all.”

She chuckles. “Yeah, ten bits for carrots seems a bit high.”

I chuckle and rub her head. “I can probably get them cheaper from somewhere else, like Applejack or someone.”

“Where’d you learn about this stuff anyway?”

“Self taught. The human mind has always fascinated me with the ways it can and could be manipulated, so I studied up on it. And haggling is just another mind game to some. And trust me, there are plenty of ways that the mind can be manipulated.” I motion for her to follow. “Now come, we actually need to get some shopping done today.”

“Don’t forget about me.”

I smirk. “How could I forget if you keep reminding me all the time?” We laugh as we continue through the market, looking for supplies tonight.

After our little sojourn throughout the market, we picked up all the supplies I would need for dinner tonight, stuffed green peppers, one version with meat and the other without. Alas, I can’t forget the other reason for going out today, getting my girl some more posters for her room. After setting the rice to boil for a time, I sit down on the sofa and fire up my Xbox. “Any suggestions, Agent?”

“I’m in a bloody, gory, action kind of mood today.”

Just as I fire up Gears of War Three, Scootaloo comes out of her room. I glance at her to see her watching the screen. “What’s this?”

“Gears of War Three. Wanna play?” I hold out a second controller towards her.

“This is a game?! Looks awesome!” She snatches the controller out of my hands and sits down beside me. I notice her messing with each of the buttons. “Huh, never seen an arcade machine like this before.”

I groan. “Seriously? I’m gonna have to introduce everyone to the modern age of gaming. Not that the old school is bad or anything, just that it's time for you to be introduced to the modern era.”

“So… How do I play?”

“First, this game is rated mature—”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that this game has highly disturbing or mature themes, like swearing, gore, things like that.”

She smirks. “Yeah, and?”

I smirk as well, reaching over to ruffle her mane a bit. “Oh, you are definitely my girl.” I access the main menu. “First, let’s get you set up with an account.” Going through the account creation process is simple enough for her, nothing too fancy for her name though.

“So… How do I play?”

“The left stick controls movement, right controls aiming. The A button is used for many things. Holding it down causes sprinting, pushing it and the left stick in a direction causes a roll, or if a piece of cover is available, to get behind it."

“That could get confusing.”

I chuckle. “That’ the same thing everybody else said, but I have faith in my girl to have my natural gaming abilities.”

“She’s not flesh and blood, genius.”

She smirks. “Maybe I could be better than you?”

I raise an eyebrow. “We shall see, young one. But don’t you think learning the rest of the controls would be better?” She nods her head. “Good. The B button is for melee attacks. Hold it down when using the Lancer or Retro Lancer to use the chainsaw or bayonet charge.”

“A chain what?”

“Chainsaw. A long bar with sharp teeth on it able to cut through wood, and people, if needed.”

Her eyes widen. “That. Sounds. Awesome!”

“Great, we’ve created a monster.”

“Like I care? I’ll just reinforce that this is a game then.”

“Awesome, yes. But understand that this is a game. We don’t go around doing this stuff in the real world.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’m old enough to understand the difference between the real stuff and fake stuff. How much longer before I actually play?”

“Just making sure, and soon. Back to the controls. The X button is used for picking up weapons and mounting turrets, or for taking downed enemies as a meat shield. The Y button is used for executions. Tap once for a curb stomp, hold for a special execution.”

“What are these for?” She pulls on the triggers.

“The left one is for aiming down the sights for increased accuracy, the right one is to actually fire. The things above each trigger are called bumpers. The left one will allow you to see where I’m at and where weapons are at. The right one will reload your weapon.”

“Anything else I need to know?”

“Yeah, that pad that looks like a plus? It’s called a D-Pad, and it’s used for switching what weapon you’re using. Down is pistols, up is grenades, and left and right is your primaries.”

“Yeah, yeah, I think I got it.”

“Good, cause we aren’t starting out easy.” I select Horde mode and a random map for us to get started with. As for character selection, I take Cole while Scoots takes Dom.

At first, she struggles with the controls, taking lots of damage or outright dying, frustrating her to no end. But she never once gave up in her endeavors. With each wave, she slowly got better and better, to the point that she was almost matching me in terms of abilities. Though long and arduous, we reached the end of a long fifty waves, both of us shouting out in triumph.

“That was awesome! Did you see the way I killed that one with the flamethrower?!”

“I did! See, I knew you had it in you!”

“Can we do it again?”

I glance at the clock. “Well, I gotta make dinner, but if you want to keep playing, go right ahead.” I stand up and head towards the kitchen.

“Can I help?”

I raise an eyebrow and glance over my shoulder. “You want to help cook? Isn’t that kind of… I don’t know, boring in your eyes?”

“Like you said this morning, I need to be able to take care of myself. If that means doing things I don’t like, so be it. Besides, maybe I’ll get my Cutie Mark in cooking!”

I smile and jerk my head towards the kitchen. “Glad to see you actually listening to me. Sure, you can help.”

She follows me into the kitchen, where I guide her through the basic process of cooking a decent meal. As time wears on, she slowly starts to open up more to the idea of cooking, doing each task I give her with more and more vigor. As I pull the last batch of peppers from the oven, she says to me, “I could get behind cooking. If, you know, I’m having fun doing it.”

I set the tray on the stove top before tossing the oven mitts on the counter. “See? Not so bad, is it?”

She chuckles. “Yeah, you were right again.” She takes a deep whiff of air before licking her lips. “I can’t wait to try those!”

I smirk. “So am I, considering I haven’t made these in a long time, and with fresher ingredients to boot.”

She smirks. “They should taste awesome since I helped make them.”

I shake my head. “Time will tell.” There’s a knock on the front door. “Or quite possibly right now.” Heading to the front door and opening it, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom dart around my feet and head straight towards the kitchen. I chuckle as the cacophony of questions coming from the two, all directed towards Scoots, assails my ears.

“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity huffs in annoyance. “I’m terribly sorry for Sweetie, Blake.”

I shake my head. “Nah, it’s fine. Kids will be kids, right?”

Pinkie wraps her arm around Rarity’s waist. “Yeah, Rarity, let them have their fun! It won’t last forever, unless you’re around me of course, then the fun will last as long as this mare is breathing, and even after cause I can hold my breath for a really long time!”

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s that delicious smell?”

I smile and step off to the side. “Ah, tonight’s treat, Fluttershy. Please come in, dinner is going to be served.” I glance down the hall to see the Crusaders darting into Scootaloo’s room. “Five minutes, Scoots!”

“Yeah, yeah! Be out then!” She shouts back.

Just as I go to shut the door behind Rarity, a dark blue hand grips the door. “Now, is that any way to treat your princess?” Luna’s head peeks around the door.

I smirk and hold the door open again. “Ah, Luna! So glad you could make it.”

She walks inside. “As am I, Blake. Canterlot can be so dull at times.”

“Trust me, there’s never a dull moment in this town.” I walk past her. “Please, follow me for our magnificent meal tonight.” Once Luna takes a seat at the table and everyone greets her, I ask, “So, how did everyone’s day go?”

“I’ve been working on a top secret recipe for the Cakes! It’s a lot harder than it looks, but once it’s finished, it’ll be the most delicious, most delectable treat in all of Equestria!”

“Um, the usual for me. Staying at home with my animal friends.” Sonja comes over and places her head on Fluttershy’s lap. “And how are you, Sonja?” Sonja barks twice. “Really? That’s wonderful to hear!”

“I’ve been working on a gorgeous new line of outfits for the everyday mare and stallion. I just need to think of a name for it before it goes live to the public.”

I shrug my shoulders. “It’ll come to ya sooner or later.” I jerk my head towards Luna. “What about you, Luna?”

She rolls her eyes. “Blueblood.”

“Ah,” Rarity and I both say.

At this moment, the Crusaders come into the kitchen and sit down. “Ah’m starving! What’s on the menu?”

I smile and motion behind me. “Tonight’s special is stuffed green peppers in two versions, meatless and meat, in a broth of tomato juices, prepared by tonight’s chefs.” I serve out a dish to everyone, with it being no surprise Scoots and I are the only ones to eat the meat version.

Once everyone is finished, Luna speaks up. “Tis a wonderful meal, Blake.”

I place my hands behind my head and lean back. “Well, I can’t take all the credit. I had some help, of course.”

Scootaloo smiles. “Told ya it’d taste better.” At Apple Bloom's and Sweetie’s snickers, she glares at them. “You two better not say anything about this at school. I gotta keep some levels of awesomeness.”

I chuckle. “That you do, that you do. Alright, usual routine everyone. Settle down and we’ll start the movie after I’m finished up here.” Luna tilts her head at me. “Right, sorry. Someone please explain the process to Luna too.”

After a quick cleanup process, I head into the living room. “So, what’s everyone in the mood for tonight? Comedy? Action?” I waggle my eyebrows. “Romance?”

Scootaloo makes a gagging noise. “Eww, romance.”

I chuckle. “Alright, guess that’s out of the picture.”

“Oh, comedy! Comedy! I love comedy!”

“Hmm…” I rub my chin in thought. “I think I got the perfect movie then.” I search through my DVD collection.

“Umm, what’s this movie about?”

I glance over my shoulder. “Showing that you’re never too old to act like a kid, which I’m sure some of us can learn from.” I throw in one of the better, in my opinion at least, Adam Sandler movies, Grown Ups. As the movie chugs along, I glance at the smiles and listen to the mirthful laughter from everyone. Ah, Blake, you’ve done it again.

As the movie ends, I catch Pinkie nudging Rarity. “See? Just because we get older, doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun and act like a child every once in a while!”

“I do suppose you are right, Pinkie.”

I flick on the lights. After waiting for everyone to finish groaning, I speak up. “I find it strange that you’re the one to pick up on that lesson, Pinkie, but whatever.”

Luna chuckles. “It’s a lesson that Celestia might want to learn from.”

Apple Bloom shakes her head. “Ah can’t see Celestia ever acting like that.”

“I’d actually like to see that!”

I laugh. “That’s my girl!”

Rarity sighs. “Well, I do believe that it is time for Sweetie and I to take our leave. I thank you again, Blake.” Sweetie starts to whine in protest, but a look from Rarity shushes her.

I wave my hand. “Anytime, anytime.”

Luna glances from me to Rarity. “So that’s it? We eat a meal, watch a movie, and then head home?”

“Yeppers! Not bad for your first time, right?”

I smirk. “Granted, things may be switched up at times, but if you really want to keep the fun going, Luna,” I tap the side of my head.

She smirks as well. “In that case, yes. I may have to join you from now on if this is what you regularly do.”

“Fair enough, Luna. Again, thank you all for coming. Please enjoy the rest of the night.” I share a knowing look with Luna. “I know I will.”

Once everyone has left, I start cleaning up the kitchen while Scootaloo spends her time practicing with some of the bots on Gears of War Three multiplayer. Amid the screams and gunfire, she asks me, “What’d you mean with Luna earlier?”

I dry my hands before heading into the living room and standing behind the couch. “About what exactly?”

She pauses the game to look at me. “About keeping the party going with her?”

I roll my eyes and smirk. “Luna and I meet up in the dreamscape every so often to hang out.”

A devilish smirk crosses her face. “So it’s that type of hangout?”

I raise an eyebrow. “I don’t follow.”

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me. I’ve seen the way Luna looks at you.”

I roll my eyes and allow the slightest twinge of a smirk to cross my face. She's more observant than I would have thought. Then again, living alone could've made her naturally more aware of her surroundings. “Whatever thoughts you have, and wherever you got them from, put them to rest. We’re just friends, nothing more, nothing less.”

She chuckles and goes back to playing. “Whatever you say, player.”

I vault over the couch. “Oh, so you want to play that way, eh?” I grab the other controller. “Let’s see how well you fare going up against me!”

“Bring it on!”

“It shall be brought, young one!”

Author's Note

Hey, hey, hey! Long time, no see, my faithful readers! Sorry for taking so long on this chapter, and the shortness of it, but I'm sure my excuse of Fallout Four sessions will suffice as a legitimate reason.:twilightsheepish: I promise that the next chapter will be better. As for a hint as to the next chapter, who wants some cupcakes?:pinkiecrazy:

Party of One or She’s A Maniac, Oh No

“Permanent Vacation”

Party of One or She’s A Maniac, Oh No

After sending Scootaloo off to school for the day, I decide that just sitting around and doing nothing would do wonders for my mind and body today. Well, minus the fact that I have a house to maintain. However, it would seem fate had decided to throw another wrench in my absolutely fantastic life today. A knock on the front door draws my attention towards it. Going over and opening it, I tilt my head at the apparent lack of someone there. “Uh, hello?”

“Mmph.” I look down to see Pinkie face first on the ground, a strange contraption strapped to her back that chugs once before releasing a small burst of confetti. She holds her hand up, a pink envelope in her grasp.

I slowly grab it from her hand. Opening it, I read the invite held within. “Oh, a birthday party for Gummy today? Sure, I’ll be there.”

Pinkie flashes a thumbs up. Sonja darts around my legs and licks the side of Pinkie’s face, eliciting a giggle from her. She lifts her head up. “Thanks girl. I needed that.”

I hold my hand out, which she grabs and pulls herself up. “You wanna come in for a sec, get something to drink after all…” I motion towards her, “This?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m a little parched.”

I raise an eyebrow. “A little?” I step off to the side to let her in.

She rubs the back of her head. “Okay, maybe a lot more than a little. But delivering singing telegrams to everypony is hard work!”

I pour her a glass of orange juice, which she chugs down. With a smirk, I hold up the invite. “And I don’t rate a singing telegram? Madam, you wound me so.”

At least she has the decency to look ashamed. “Sorry, Blake, but after Twilight’s invite, I was so tired from lugging this thing around and singing that I just couldn’t keep it up. Me, Pinkie Pie, getting tired! Can you believe it?!”

I laugh. “Hey, I don’t care how I get the invite, as long as I get one. And you have every right to get tired every once in a while. Doing the things you do each and every day,” I shake my head, “I don’t think I’d be able to even do it.”

She giggles. “Yeah, being the premiere party pony of Equestria can be really tiring. But if it brings a smile to somepony’s face, then it makes it oh so super-duper amazingly worth it!”

I nod my head. “That it should. You work hard to brighten everyone’s day, and I know for a fact everyone appreciates it.”

She jumps up and hugs me. “I really needed to hear that today, Blake. Thank you!”

I gingerly pat her back. “Anytime, anytime. Now, how’s about you go set up that awesome party for Gummy that everyone will enjoy?”

She gasps. “You’re right! I spent so much time passing out the invites, I might not have enough time to make Gummy’s birthday party the best ever! Thanksagainseeyoubye!” One minute, she’s still here with her arms around me. The next, gone in a blink of the eyes.

With a sigh and a shake of my head, I head back into the living room to watch some TV till later. I wonder what counts as quality programming here in Equestria? It better not be a slew of reality, and that term is used loosely, shows. I fire on the TV, hoping for something decent to watch. Though if it’s anything like the stuff from home, I may want to stick to my DVD collection.

One binge marathon of Doctor Who later…

Figures nothing good would be on TV. Welp, guess it’s time to head over to Gummy’s party. Sauntering through town, it finally hits me. What the fuck am I supposed to get for a toothless alligator? Some chattering teeth? I chuckle to myself. Yeah, that’d probably be the perfect thing. I’ll just pull a Rainbow this time though.

“Ahem. Personal contact to beings that can give you almost anything?”

“And abuse that power? Fat chance.”

Heading into Sugarcube Corner, Mister Cake waves to me. “Good to see you again, Blake.”

I nod my head. “Likewise. How’s the wife and soon to be kid?”

He sighs and rubs his head. “Her due date’s soon. I’ve been running myself ragged at this point.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You need something? Anything?”

He shakes his head. “Thanks, but Pinkie’s been such an angel lately. I don’t know what we’d do without her.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Suit yourself. You ever need something, don’t hesitate to ask though.” I jerk my head towards the ceiling. “They upstairs?”

He nods his head. “Head on up.” As I start to head past the counter, he puts a hand on my chest. “Just so you know, Pinkie’s birthday is tomorrow.”

Perfect! Now I have to get a gift for Pinkie. I’ll figure something out. “Thanks for the warning.” I head upstairs. The stairs open up to a large foyer like area, with two branching hallways. Let’s see… Pinkie’s room has a balcony which was on the… Left side, if the show is anything to go by. Taking the left hallway, I turn a corner to see a pink painted door covered in hearts and glitter at the far end. I hear giggling and laughter coming from the other side.

“Please be a slumber party! Please be a slumber party!”

“And if it’s not?”

“Imagine them in lingerie having a pillow fight! Imagine them in lingerie having a pillow fight!”

I knock once on the door. Before my hand even returns to my side, the door is yanked open. “Hi Blake! Gummy is so happy you could make it!” In one fluid motion, Pinkie grabs my shirt, yanks me inside, slams the door, and shoves Gummy in my face.

I slowly push Gummy away from my face. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Besides, gets me out and about for a couple of hours.” I catch Rarity motioning me over towards the punch bowl. “Hey, I’m gonna enjoy the party, okay?” Without waiting for a response, I walk over to Rarity, bobbing my head in time with the light, cheerful beat coming from a speaker. “What’s going on, Rarity?”

“The usual, as is normal for a mare such as I.” She offers me a cup of punch. “Try the punch, dearie. Pinkie absolutely outdid herself with it.”

I take the offered cup and lightly sip from it. Hmm… Not bad actually. Very fruity, yet sweet enough to be drinkable. “It tastes great. Might have to get the recipe from her then.” I have to laugh at the sight of Applejack bobbing for apples, only to grab a spring loaded one that yanks her head back under the water. “So, did Sweetie enjoy last night?”

She nods her head. “Indeed she did. And how was Luna’s first soiree into your movie nights?”

I smile. “Ah, our fair lunar princess said that she would very much like to do it again.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful to hear! I was afraid that after being gone for so long, she would feel… distant from everypony else.”

I sigh, glancing out towards Twilight and Fluttershy dancing near the back of the room. “I will admit, I feel a special connection towards her. Both of us are lost in a world we don’t understand anymore.”

Rarity raises an eyebrow. “Whatever do you mean?”

I shake my head. “Now is not the time or place for this type of conversation. It’s a party, and I’m not gonna kill the mood faster than Buzz Killington.”

“I do suppose you are right.”

I lean in close to her and lower my voice. “Hey, quick question. What’d you get for Gummy?”

Her eyes widen, and she lowers her voice too. “Nothing! I have no idea what kind of gifts to get an alligator!”

At least I’m not the only one to be stumped about this. “It was so sudden that I didn’t have time to even think about it, let alone get something!”

“Hey! What are we whispering about?”

Rarity and I both jump back slightly. “Oh, just how wonderful this punch is, Pinkie.” To emphasis her point, Rarity even takes a sip from her cup. Nice save Rarity.

“Thanks! Even Gummy likes it too!” With that, Pinkie reaches into the punch bowl and pulls out Gummy. Rarity’s eyes widen right before she spits into Pinkie’s face. Okay, even I would get a little pissed… Nope, Pinkie’s still standing there with a smile plastered on her face. Glancing at my own cup, I shrug my shoulders and drink from it anyway. Not the worst thing to be in my mouth so far.

Rarity smiles slightly, but refuses to look at Pinkie. “And I can see why, Pinkie. It’s got a… Erm, special flavor to it!” She lightly sips from her cup as Pinkie just smiles and bounces away to the beat of the music. As soon as Pinkie turns her back, Rarity spits into a potted plant nearby. “Ugh, how… Unsanitary.” She notices me still drinking. “Erm…”

I smirk. “No different than being licked by a dog or cat. You don’t know where that tongue’s been.”

She covers her mouth. With an audible gulp, she swallows. “Yes… Wonderful talking with you, Blake.”

I chuckle. “Same to you, Rarity.” I snatch a cupcake off the table as I wander over towards Applejack and Rainbow. “Enjoying the party so far?” I stuff the cupcake in my mouth. Mmm… Chocolate with chocolate crème inside.

“Yeah, but this is nothing compared to some of the parties Pinkie throws!”

I chuckle. “I believe it.”

“What’s not ta enjoy, sugarcube? Great friends, good food, and a right hootenanny. Can’t get any better than that.”

Well, I could think of a few things. Not family friendly, but still some something to liven up the party. “Yeah, I gotta agree with you on that.” I glance around to make sure Pinkie isn’t around. She’s currently dancing with Twilight and Fluttershy. Scratch that, hip checking them towards the side of the room. I lean in closer to them and lower my voice. “Hey, we need to meet after the party. About,” I jerk my head towards Pinkie, “Tomorrow.”

Applejack nods her head. “Sure thing.”

Rainbow smirks. “Loud and clear.”

“Alright everypony, let’s kick this party into high gear!”

With a roll of my eyes, I join into the party a bit more, dancing along with the rest of the girls. Thankfully, no one brought a gift, which Gummy is fine with, if Pinkie’s translation is anything to go by. With night swiftly approaching and the energy and excitement dying off, Pinkie brings the party to an end and leads us downstairs to see us off.

“Thanks for the invite, Pinkie. We should do this again soon.”

“Oh, it was nothing, Twilight! Gummy and I are so happy you all came! Anyway, sleep tight girls!” I cough. “Oh, and Blake too!” Pinkie waves to us before shutting the door.

As we all walk away, making small talk, I bring up something I’ve been wanting to know for a while. “Hate to interrupt, but what the hell are we gonna do for Pinkie’s birthday tomorrow?”

Applejack just chuckles. “We’re way ahead of ya, sugarcube. We’re meeting at the barn tomorrow to finish setting up the decorations.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Ya know, nothing like informing me on the night before. Don’t have a gift or nothing, but hey,” I throw my hands up, “Just fucking pull something out of my ass, why don’t I?”

Twilight cringes. “Nopony told you?”

“Uh, no? Still wouldn’t have known unless Mister Cake said anything.”

“Rainbow Dash…” All eyes turn to her.

At least she has the decency to look ashamed. “Heh, I guess I forgot…”

I sigh and place a hand over my face. “Just… Just forget it. I’ll think of something. Just please tell me when to be there.”

Applejack scratches her head. “Around noon so we can have the decorations set up by three.”

“Great, thanks, see you tomorrow.” With that, I turn and start heading home. I’m gonna need a drink tonight to calm myself.

Right as I’m about to leave my house the next morning, there’s a knock on the door. Opening it, Pinkie’s bouncing on the other side with a little basket tied to her head with pink envelopes in it. “You’re cordially invited to Gummy’s after birthday party at three today!”

I shake my head. “Sorry, can’t make it today. The Crusaders want me at their meeting after school today for something or other.”

“Oh, okay then! See you later!” She happily bounces away, humming to herself. I hate lying to her, considering how naïve she can be, but these events need to happen today. But that is something to deal with later. Right now, I better go help set up this party.

Arriving at Sweet Apple Acres, I head over to the barn’s open side door and head in. I let out a small whistle at the decorations already set up. Streamers, confetti, you name it, they got it. “Nice job so far everyone.”

“Blake, perfect timing. If you wouldn’t mind, would you please help me fill up some more balloons?”

“Sure, Rarity.” After filling up a few pink balloons, I decide to ask everyone present, “So, Pinkie’s having an after party for Gummy on the day of her birthday?”

“Yeah, what gives with that? Doesn’t she know when her birthday is?”

“She probably does, Rainbow, but with all the excitement last night, I think she forgot.”

I jerk my thumbs towards Twilight. “Gotta agree on that, Twilight.”

Applejack toss a streamer up to Fluttershy, who weaves it around the rafters. “Ah just pray to Celestia that she didn’t figure out what we’re up to. Ah thought we were done for when she asked me.”

“I must agree with Applejack. I had to do the unspeakable when she asked me.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah, well, let’s pray she doesn’t know yet.” As I glance around the room, I take stock of what else we have to do. Decorations, nearly complete. Drinks, sufficient punch and soda. Food, plenty of sweets and apple based foods. Cake… “Hey, where’s the cake?”

Twilight snaps her fingers. “Right, almost forgot. I’m going to pick it up soon. Rarity, Fluttershy, you ready to go then?”

Rarity ties down the last balloon. “Whenever you’re ready, dear.”

“Um, I’m ready, if nopony else needs me.”

Applejack shakes her head. “Nah, I think you’re good, Shy. I reckon we can finish up here without ya.”

I wave my hands in front of me. “Hold it, hold it. How many people does it take to get a cake?”

“You can never be too careful when it comes to Pinkie, so we’re gonna pass the cake off around town to get it back here without Pinkie following us.”

I roll my eyes and sigh. “And aren’t what forgetting something?”

Twilight tilts her head. “What?”

I hold up my wrist and roll down the sleeve. “She can’t follow what she can’t see.” I tap the Cloak and Dagger, turning myself invisible for the briefest of moments before de-cloaking. “Let me handle the pickup and delivery.”

“Well, it would make it easier to finish up around here… Okay, as long as you’re sure Pinkie won’t follow you.”

I smirk and nod my head. “She won’t even know I’m there.” I leave them to get back to working as I make my way back towards town.

As I near Sugarcube Corner, I catch Pinkie looking out her window. Ah, let the games begin. Heading inside, I walk up to the counter. “What can I get for you, Blake?”

“Oh, something special today.” I notice a tin can attached to a string descend from the ceiling. “Something related to what you told me yesterday.”

He nods his head. “Ah, I understand.” He heads into the kitchen, coming back out with a blue box which he hands to me.

Taking the box, I nod my head towards the stairs and lower my voice just enough so Pinkie could still hear. “She around?”

He nods his head. “She’s upstairs right now, but I don’t know for how long.”

I nod my head. “Good, good. Wouldn’t want her to ruin this now.”

“You better get going before she sees you then.”

“Right. Thanks again.” As soon as I step outside, I cloak and slowly start making my way out of town. And as I expected, Pinkie’s on the prowl for me. What I do find surprising is that Pinkie never seems to be too far from me at any given time in one of many disguises. Could… Could she actually be tracking me somehow? Nah, impossible.

“Blake… I know you’re around here.” Coupled with the way she said that in a singsong voice near feet from me, I don’t think this could get any creepier. “Come out and play.”

Okay, time for a change of tactics. Hmm… Who would be a viable disguise right now? Perhaps Derpy? It wouldn’t be uncommon for her to be carrying a package somewhere, so Pinkie might overlook me. Putting on the disguise, I wait until Pinkies back is to me before de-cloaking. I try to look as inconspicuous as possible, which seemingly works.

Getting back to Sweet Apple Acres, I head back over to the now shut side door and knock on it. The door opens slightly and Applejack’s head peeks out. Upon seeing me, she smiles and opens the door wider. “Well, howdy there, Derpy. What brings ya out here?”

I lift up the disguise mask, glancing over my shoulder. “Applejack, let me in!” Her eyes widen and she flings open the door. I rush in as Applejack shuts the door behind me.

Twilight grasps the box from my hands with her magic and moves it over to the food table. “Blake, what’s going on?” Her eyes widen. “Did Pinkie follow you?”

I throw my hands up. “I don’t freaking know! I didn’t see her on the way back, but she was somehow tracking me when I left Sugarcube Corner! I had to switch up my plan to get back here just to try to avoid her!”

“Oh, I hope she didn’t follow you…”

There’s a knock on the side door, causing us to all freeze. Applejack opens the door slightly. “Howdy there, Pinkie Pie! What brings you here?”

“Shh! Everypony stay quiet!” Rainbow hisses out.

“No shit, Sherlock!” I hiss back.

“Mind if I… Take a look inside the barn real quick, Applejack?” Oh, I can hear practically hear the venom dripping off each and every word.

“Uh… Ya can’t.”

“And why not?”

Time to step in and save Applejack from herself. I walk over and pat her shoulder. “Yo, Applejack, what’s taking so long? Thought you wanted to get this construction work done?” I peek over her shoulder. “Oh, hey, Pinkie? What brings you here?”

“I want to come into the barn.” Wow, that is creepy to hear when her voice isn’t cheery or bubbly.

I shake my head. “Sorry, no can do. We’re fixing up the barn right now. Very delicate work, requires precision and a detail oriented mind. I’m sure you understand why it’s just Applejack and I in here.”

Pinkie raises an eyebrow. “Then why we’re you at Sugarcube Corner then?”

I roll my eyes. “Can’t work on an empty stomach, can we? I got a few pastries to tide us over while we work.”

Pinkie glares at the both of us. “Okey dokey lokey then.” She then turns around and starts walking away from us, mumbling under her breath.

I slowly shut the door. “You’re welcome, Applejack.”

She wipes her brow. “Thanks for the save there.”

I shake my head. “But for how long are we saved?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Don’t you get it, Rarity? She knows something is up.” I throw my hands up. “Hell, she somehow followed me here?! How long before she comes back and actually gets inside?!”

They all glance between each other. “Blake’s right. If we’re gonna throw this party, it’s gonna have to be done soon.”

I motion around the barn. “Well then, what still needs to be done, Twilight?”

She glances around. “I think a few minor things are all we have left to do actually.”

I clap my hands. “Perfect. Alright, everybody find something to do. Rainbow, go grab Pinkie and get her back here. Knowing her, she’ll somehow have made back to Sugarcube Corner by now, which would defy all logic, but hey, it’s Pinkie.”

She salutes me. “On it.”

I grab her leg before she can bolt out the door. “And take your time, please? Give us some time to work here before you bring her back.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Just work as fast as you guys can.” She bolts out the door.

I sigh. Figures she wouldn’t listen to me. Ah well, just means we work faster. And Twilight was right, there really isn’t much left to do at this point. Fluttershy, Applejack, and I tie down the last of the balloons while Rarity and Twilight scatter around more streamers. Once our work is finished, I smirk at the sheer amount of decorations. Man, I’d hate to be that person.

“She’s coming everypony!” Oh, nice job being the spotter, Fluttershy.

“Alright everypony, get ready now!”

Yeah… Not happy to see Pinkamena, but I’d rather it be sooner rather than later. We all gather in the center of the room, with me being towards the back of the group just in case Pinkie does something… drastic. The main barn door swings open. “Come on, Pinkie! There’s something we need to show you!” Rainbow grunts out as she pushes Pinkie into the barn.

“Surprise!” We all yell out. Nice touch on Twilight’s part with magically tossing some confetti out. Might not help much, but still, a nice touch.

Pinkie stands there, arms crossed and giving us a death glare. No one makes a sound, save for Rarity gently coughing into her hand. “Well… Uh, are you surprised, Pinkie?” Oh, wrong thing to ask, Twilight.

“Surprised?! Oh sure, I’m surprised my friends decided to throw a party that they aren’t my friends anymore! Why’d you drag me out here, huh?! Just so you could rub it in my face?!”

I hold my hands out. “Woah, woah, calm down there. What gave you the impression that we aren’t friends anymore?”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh, like it isn’t obvious to you. You’ve all lied to me and have been avoiding me all day! Oh, but it doesn’t matter how Pinkie feels, since she’ll just laugh it off and be okay with it! I’m not okay with it!”

I throw my arms up. “For fucks sake then, we’ll just inform you next time we’re trying to throw a surprise birthday party for you! How’s that sound?! Saves us from having to be secretive then!”

Pinkie glances around the room. “You did all this… For my birthday?” We all nod our heads. Her hair poofs back up to its normally curly state, and now that I see it, her skin color brightens up. Ah, and there’s that trademark Pinkie smile. Before anyone can react, she’s pulling us all into a group hug. “Oh, I’m so sorry for doubting all of you!”

Once Pinkie releases us, Applejack gingerly pats her back. “Sorry ‘bout everything, sugarcube. We just didn’t want the surprise ta be ruined for ya.”

Pinkie rubs the back of her head. “Yeah, I’m sorry too. I guess I got a little loco in the coco.”

Rainbow raises an eyebrow. “You were talking to a turnip.” At our confused expressions, she shakes her head. “Don’t ask.”

Pinkie sighs. “I just assumed the worst when everypony started avoiding me.”

I shake my head. “Never assume with anything, especially your friends. Each of us has the best interests of each other in mind, and we will do our damnedest to remember those interests.” Something we forgot today, but I’m not letting them know that.

Twilight smiles. “I think that would make an excellent friendship report to the Princess.”

I smirk. “Make sure to quote who actually said it though.”

Pinkie wraps her arm around Twilight. “That can wait until after the party, right?”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “Of course, Pinkie.”

“Woohoo! This is going to be the bestest surprise birthday party ever!”

Author's Note

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

Now let me ruin the classic story, "The Night Before Christmas", for everyone!

A Bird in the Hoof or Blaze of Glory

“Permanent Vacation”

A Bird in the Hoof or Blaze of Glory

The next day, after sending Scootaloo off to school, I figure that the weather looks nice enough to go for a jog around town. It’ll give Sonja and me a chance to stretch our legs. On the plus side, I’ll probably be able to swing around to Golden Oaks, Sweet Apple Acres, and Scratched Records in one sitting. I make sure to grab a water bottle before stepping outside, where I stretch a couple of muscles while Sonja wanders around the area, occasionally sniffing whatever object caught her attention at that moment. With a whistle, I set off towards the Sweet Apple Acres first in a light stride. Why rush when I could enjoy the beautiful scenery?

Whistling to myself, time seems to pass by all too fast as I notice that I’m nearing the main entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. And… I forgot how big this place is. Finding Big Mac in here could take ages. I did say that I didn’t want to rush, but I don’t want to spend the next couple of hours wandering through an orchard. Maybe Granny Smith or somebody else might be at the farmhouse and know where he is? It seems as good a place as any to start.

Nearing the farmhouse, I spot Applejack leaving the barn. She looks off towards the east, taking her Stetson off and wiping her brow. With a bark, Sonja bounds up to her. Applejack looks at her. “Well howdy there girl. What brings you round here?”

“What’s going on, Applejack?”

Applejack looks over to me. “Heh, knew ya couldn’t be too far behind from Sonja here. Just working up a good sweat hauling in the barrels of cider.”

I nod my head. “Ah, how soon you selling them then?”

“Pretty soon, actually. Though ah’m mighty sure that ain’t the only reason ya stopped by today.”

I smirk. “You know me so well. I’m actually looking for your brother. Is he around here?”

She jerks her thumb over her shoulder. “He’s in the barn.”

“Thanks.” I walk around her into the barn proper. What was once open space is lined with row upon row of barrels that rise up to the ceiling. I whistle at the sheer sight of it. I hear a grunt and a loud thud from my left. I look over. “Working up a good sweat there, Mac?”

Mac turns to me, breathing heavily. “Ya know you’re doing good work when ya work up a sweat.”

I chuckle. “Words to live by, my friend. Anyway, not gonna waste too much of your time. What are your thoughts on a tour sometime soon?”

“Ah’m fine with it, as long as we wait till after cider season.”

I nod my head. “Fair enough. I’ll let you get back to work now.” With Mac on board, it’s time to see about the rest of the band. Leaving the barn, I catch Sonja and Winona playing around the trees. I whistle. “Sonja, let’s go.” Sonja races up to my side, letting out a few barks. With a smile on my face, I head back into town and make my way towards the next stop, Scratched Records.

Upon reaching it, I see Vinyl and Lyra already inside. Opening the door, with the still broken glass I might add, I chuckle. “You just couldn’t wait to tell Vinyl about our plans for a tour, Lyra.”

They turn to look at me. “Well, yeah! I’m so excited for one that I couldn’t wait to bring the idea up to Vinyl!”

Vinyl nods her head. “And I’m all for it, but all four of you need to be on board.”

I motion to Lyra. “Well, you already got us two, or we wouldn’t be standing here. I just talked with Mac and he’s fine with it as long as it’s after cider season. And I’m gonna talk to Spike later, but he should be on board for it.”

Vinyl smirks. “Well, it sounds like you got everything planned out. Makes me wonder why you even need me?”

I playfully punch her on the shoulder. “I may have the plan, but who’s the mare that’s gonna execute it? Besides, who’s the mare that got us started on the path to stardom?”

She pokes me in the chest. “And don’t you forget it!”

We share a good laugh after that. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to know what happened to Vinyl’s door, would you?”

I glance over my shoulder. “Yeah… About that…” I fish into my pocket and hand Vinyl a bag of bits. “This should cover the replacement of the door.”

Vinyl raises an eyebrow. “You’re the one that broke it?”

“Well, yeah, but I had to get in here somehow since Pinkie and I needed some things from the shop to stop the parasprite invasion. I told Pinkie I’d pay for it, so I am. I hope you’re not too mad about it.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, I’m still mad, but at least you’re paying for it.”

I raise an eyebrow. “We good then?”

She smirks. “Yeah, right after this.” I don’t see Vinyl’s hand swinging towards the left side of my face. I reel back from her solid hit, working my jaw to remove some of the pain. “Now we’re good.”

I smirk once some feeling returns to my jaw. “Nice swing. I figured something like that was gonna happen.”

Vinyl motions towards the door. “Yeah, yeah. Just get out of here before I change my mind.”

I inch towards the door. “Right, yeah, see ya later you two.” Without so much as a second glance back, I sprint out the door. Not that I’m afraid of Vinyl, but… Magic. Not really something I can fight against, can I? Once I deem myself far enough away, I stop to catch my breath. Looking off to my left, I sigh in relief at the sight of a bench. Sitting down, I lean back and slowly drink from the water bottle I brought. I motion for Sonja to wander around while I sit here.

“Heh, what were you running from?”

I glance at Rainbow hovering in the air to the left. “Have you been following me all day?”

“Nah, only spotted ya when you were running away.”

“I’ll have you know that I was getting away from Vinyl before she did more than punch me.”

Rainbow smirks. “Running away from a mare now? I thought you were supposed to be tough?”

I roll my eyes. “First, I don’t fight my friends. Second, I’m not gonna fight against magic. It’s tougher to fight against something you’re unfamiliar with.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, tough guy.”

I stand up and whistle. “Come on, Sonja. We got one more stop today.”

“Where you going?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Why? Want to tag along?”

She nods her head. “I got nothing better to do today anyway. So where we going?”

Best not to argue at this point of her being with. Once she’s got her mind set on something, nothing will deter her from it. “Over to Twilight’s. I gotta talk to Spike, and then maybe do some light reading.”

“Cool.” We stroll through town, or in Rainbow’s case, fly, as we make our way towards Golden Oaks. As we near it, Rainbow nudges me. “Hey, I’m gonna take my normal route in.”

I smirk. “Crashing through the window?”

She punches me in the shoulder. “Hey, that only happened one time!”

I smirk. “I’m pretty sure Twilight has a running count of how many times it actually happened.”

“Eight, to be exact.”

I turn to the front door to see Spike standing there with his arms crossed. I nudge Rainbow. “See? I told ya she would.”

Spike motions inside. “If you two are done out here, you can come inside.”

Stepping inside, I smell a succulent smell wafting around the library. I take a good, long whiff of it. “What’s cooking today?”

Spike smirks. “Oh, just some breakfast burritos I’m making. You want some?”

Oh… I really shouldn’t… I nod my head. Food will always win out in the end. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.” I catch Rainbow drooling. Spike sees it too, causing both of us to chuckle. I reach over and slowly close her mouth. “You’re gonna catch flies that way.”

She shakes her head. “Got room for one more?”

Spike nods his head. “Sure, if you can handle the heat.”

Following him into the kitchen, I see Twilight already sitting at the table, minus any food in front of her. “Oh, hello you two. Are you joining Spike and I for breakfast?”

Rainbow flies over to sit down beside Twilight. “When the food smells this good, it’s gotta be tasty, right? I’m in.”

I sit down across from Twilight. “Yeah, I’m in too.” I rub Sonja with my foot s she lies down underneath the table.

Spike slides some plates on the table, a delectable burrito sitting on the plate. It makes my mouth water just looking at it. “Enjoy, everypony.” Before Spike can sit down, he burps out a scroll.

Twilight grabs the scroll with her magic, unfurling it before her. “Let’s see… It’s a letter from Princess Celestia!” I roll my eyes. Gee, who else would write her? “It says she’s coming down tomorrow for her visit!”

I snap my fingers in front of her face before she can start hyperventilating. “Hey, hey! Calm yourself, and eat your food. You already handled this once before she cancelled, and you can do it again. Getting yourself worked up isn’t gonna be good for anyone.”

She sighs, yet has a smile on her face. “You’re right, but I just want everything to be perfect for her visit.”

I nod my head. “And it will be, when you’re thinking straight. You get worked up, and you’ll start making mistakes.”

“Alright, touchy feely moment over! We got food to eat!” Leave it to Rainbow to ruin the moment.

I glance at Twilight. “You good?”

She nods her head. “Yeah, I’m good.”

I clap my hands. “Good! Let’s eat, then get to the real reason I’m here.” Taking my first bite of the burrito, the instant heat from the spices scalds my mouth while a celebration of flavors parties its way down my throat. I gotta wonder where Spike learned how to cook all these amazing foods! Then again, he did live in the castle with Twilight. He must have picked up some of the cooking techniques while living up there.

Whatever the case may be, it isn’t long before we’re all done. With a content sigh, I lean back in my chair. “Keep cooking like that, Spike, and I may just have to steal you from Twilight.”

“Heh, you’re gonna have to beat me first.”

Spike rolls his eyes. “Or you guys could visit more often.”

I roll my eyes. “Actually, I’m being serious.”

Twilight tilts her head. “You’re gonna kidnap Spike from me?”

I chuckle. “Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. Ya see, Lyra brought up a great idea for the band to have its first tour. And you can’t have a tour if all of the members don’t come with.”

Spike pumps his claw in the air. “Alright! I was waiting for this day to come!”

“Good for you guys.”

I nod my head. “Thanks, Twilight.” I clap my hands and stand up. “I thank you again for the food, but now I wanna go home and plan out our tour.”

Twilight nods her head. “Okay, but don’t forget to come to Celestia’s visit tomorrow.”

I wave my hand at her. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll take some time out to come see Celestia tomorrow.”

After leaving Twilight’s yesterday, I went home and jotted down my plans for the tour. Of course, everyone else would have to sign off on it, but at least we would have a baseline. So far, I kinda like the idea of doing something a bit more edgy with our style, doing more rock songs, some swearing, that kind of stuff. But, that’s for us to sign off on.

As for now, I head over to Sugarcube Corner around noon to meet Celestia. Everywhere I look, I spot something done specially for Celestia, such as banners adorned with her Cutie Mark and freshly planted white and gold flowers. I sigh and shake my head. These ponies will do anything to try and make a princess happy.

Nearing Sugarcube Corner, I spot two royal guards with spears standing out front beside the door. As I go to reach for the door, the two cross their spears in front of me. With a roll of my eyes, I step back. “So, that’s how it’s gonna be, eh?” Not a word from the guards. I shrug my shoulders. “Suit yourself.” Drawing the Diamondback (Hey, gotta mix it up every so often), I aim up into the air off to my right and fire. The bang only causes the guards to tighten their grip on their spears, while inside I hear a crash.

The front door is thrown open. “What is going on out here?!”

I wave at Twilight. “Hey, Twilight, mind telling our friends here to let me in? Oh, and sorry about whatever broke in there.”

Twilight blinks a few times. “He’s good. Let him in.”

The guards withdraw their spears, yet continue to glare at me. Yeah, intimidation isn’t gonna work on me. Holstering the Diamondback, I smile. “Thank you.” With nothing more to say, I waltz into Sugarcube Corner. All eyes are trained on me though. I jerk a thumb over my shoulder. “You really gotta teach these guards to recognize me, Celestia.”

She lightly sips from a tea cup, seemingly unfazed. “One can never be too cautious, Blake.”

I shrug my shoulders. “I would argue on that if I didn’t agree with it. But enough about that, I here to eat some food and chat.” I saunter over to the food, grabbing pretty much one of everything. May as well enjoy the fruits of my labor. After I’m satisfied, I sit down beside Applejack, who’s sitting two seats away from Celestia. I notice her eyeing her plate. I nudge her. “Well, dig in now.”

She leans towards me. “But it’s the Princess ah’m eating in front of.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Why does that matter?”

“But it’s the Princess!” I hear a slight chuckle from Celestia. Glancing over, I see her cup overflowing with tea.

I roll my eyes. “And I’m sure she doesn’t mind.” I nod my head towards Celestia. “Look at her right now. She just trolled Mister Cake.”

Applejack looks at Celestia, then back to me. With a shrug of her shoulders, Applejack picks up the largest piece of cake she has and stuffs it into her mouth. I smirk. Off in the corner, I notice Twilight looking like she’s having an aneurysm. I pat Applejacks back. “That’s my girl.”

“So, Blake, how has life in Ponyville been treating you?”

I take a bite of a red velvet cupcake and swallow it before responding. “Oh, the same old stuff, different day. I’m actually thinking of doing a tour with the Rejects to break the monotony of it all.”

Celestia nods her head. “I’m glad to hear it. Anything in particular you’d like to do?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Personally, I’d like for us to do something a bit more edgy, maybe some hard rock. But it all falls down to how we as a team feel about it.”

“And that is how it should be.” She sighs. “All too often, ponies forget to hear what others say, instead acting on their own desires or whims in what they think are the best courses of action.”

I raise a glass of water that Pinkie had filled up for me. “I’ll drink to that.”

Celestia levitates her cup over, clinking it to my glass before calling Fluttershy over. With our chat done, I go back to enjoying my food. Damn, do Pinkie and I do some fine work. Though my natural curiosity has me glancing back towards Celestia and Fluttershy. I raise an eyebrow at the bird cage beside Celestia. Dear God, that is one ugly bird. Wait… Isn’t that Philomena? Eh, best not to dwell on it right now.

A guard enters the building. “Your majesty, I must inform you of your meeting with the mayor soon.”

Celestia nods her head and stands up. “I’m terribly sorry everypony, but I must leave. Thank you all for your wonderful hospitality.” As Celestia walks out of the building, having to duck to make it out the door, I notice Twilight sigh as a smile crosses her face.

I motion her over. “Well, it seems that everything went off without a hitch, no?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Things could have gone better, but yes, it could have been a lot worse.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Ya gotta learn to relax a bit, Twilight. The plan is never gonna go the way you planned, so you need to just roll with the punches and adapt on the fly.”

“But it’s the Princess we’re talking about!”

I roll my eyes. “And as you can see, she’s very upset. Can’t you practically hear the anger and disgust in her voice?”

Her eyes widen. “She is?!”

“Hey, way to go dipshit! You can’t even defuse her tension without making a snarky remark!”

“And this comes as a surprise to you?”

“Ahem. I do believe that Blake is being sarcastic, Twilight.” Oh hey, there’s Rarity. I didn’t even notice her. Personally, I thought she would be doing her hardest to flaunt her clothing around and making a scene.

Twilight sighs. “Don’t do that to me!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Well, I didn’t mean to do it, but you didn’t pick up on the sarcasm.” I think I’ve just about had enough of this place for the day. Standing up, I nod my head to the girls. “Sorry for ditching ya, but I’m gonna head home and catch up on some reading.”

“But we haven’t even gotten to the best part of the brunch yet!”

I eye the amount of sweets still untouched. “Yeah… Sorry, Pinkie, but I’m hearing the word diabetes chanting over and over in my head.” No, really, I can.

“Agent…”

“But it’s just so easy and fun!”

Twilight nods her head. “I’m glad you could make though. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

I glance at Philomena’s cage, now empty and with Fluttershy nowhere to be seen. I smirk. “Oh, I’m sure I will, Twilight.”

With an exchange of goodbyes, I wander outside and head for home. Frankly, I don’t really have anything to do, yet reading does sound pretty good right about now. At least it’ll give me a chance to catch up on the history of Equestria. But that can only be entertaining for so long. Maybe watch some television again and try to find a decent show? Eh, I got time to decide later anyway.

I slam a book about the magical energies of Equestria shut. I can’t really concentrate when there’s some massive commotion going on outside! Can’t these ponies keep quiet for once?! I walk over to the front door and throw it open. “What in the hell is going on out here?!” I raise an eyebrow at Fluttershy and Twilight chasing after Philomena. I hear laughter to my right. I look to see Pinkie standing there, eating from a bag of popcorn. “Uh…”

She turns to me. “Oh, you’re just in time for the show!” She holds the bag out towards me. “Want some?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Sure, why not?” I grab a handful and pop it in my mouth. Who needs television when I can find the best show right outside? Pinkie and I follow the chase as they weave through town, eventually heading towards town hall. Along the way, we managed to pick up Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow, who ran behind us. Out in front of town hall is a statue of an Earth pony, which Philomena climbs up on. I see Celestia standing nearby, watching the entire debacle before her.

Philomena sways on top on the statue before falling off it. Fluttershy dives to catch her before she hits the ground, but alas, it is too late. Philomena burns to ashes in midair, leaving Fluttershy to only catch ashes in her outstretched hands. All movement stops, surprise evident based on the looks of everyone’s faces. Well, except for Celestia and I. Fluttershy starts sobbing over the ashes, causing my own heart to pang with pain.

“Oh dear…”

Fluttershy looks up from her sobbing to see Celestia. She stands up and walks over to Celestia, her sobbing making it very hard to hear what’s she’s saying, though I do pick up sorry and my fault interspaced throughout.

Enough is enough. “Celestia!” All eyes turn to me. I motion towards the ashes. “May I?”

She nods her head. “Be my guest.”

“Thank you.” Walking over to the ashes, I stand there with my hands clasped behind my back. With a smirk, I whisper, “Play along.” Falling to my knees, I throw my hands up towards the sky. “Oh mighty Nine Divines! I beseech of you to bring back this wondrous creature to us, for it was taken too soon from this world! I ask of thee to heed my request, and I shall forever be in your debt! Make this creature arise from its ashes,” I stand up, “In a mighty blaze of glorious rebirth! Arise once more, Philomena, and rejoin us in the land of the living!”

The ashes burst into flames, the heat alone making me step back. As the ashes burn, a pillar of flame reaches up from them. Out of that pillar bursts Philomena, reborn in her younger glory when every feather was still on her, and her body was alight with flames. She takes to the air and circles above us while oohs and ahhs from the girls can be heard.

I hold my left arm out for Philomena to land on. A cooling sensation on my arm causes me to glance at it to see it surrounded with a light blue glow. “You’re welcome.”

I raise an eyebrow at Celestia. “For what?” Philomena lands my outstretched arm. Oh, so that’s what she cast. Even with whatever cooling spell Celestia cast, I can still feel some of the heat from Philomena. “Thanks, Celestia.”

“But I don’t understand! How is this even possible?”

I laugh. “For someone who spends her life reading from books, I’d assume you’d have heard of a phoenix before.”

Fluttershy slowly inches forward. “A phoenix?”

I glance at Philomena. “Yes, a phoenix. They look exactly as you see Philomena now, and have incredibly long lifespans. Once they near the end of their lifespan, well, you’ve seen what happens then. And once death reaches their doorstep, they burn to ashes. But from those ashes, a phoenix is reborn, effectively granting them immortality.”

“So all this time, Philomena was fine? It’s just a part of her life cycle?”

I look at Celestia. “It would seem you have trained Philomena in the finer arts of trolling.”

Celestia looks at Philomena. “Yes, it would seem she picked up some habits from me. Philomena, apologize.”

I hold my arm out towards Fluttershy. Philomena covers part of her face with a wing, making a cooing sound. Fluttershy smiles. “Oh, that’s okay. I just wish I knew sooner.”

“But I do hope you learned a lesson today, Fluttershy.” I chuckle. “Look at me, taking Celestia’s job.”

Fluttershy nods her head. “I’m sorry, Princess Celestia, but I should have asked before taking Philomena away.”

Celestia smiles, holding out her arm for Philomena to land on. “It’s quite alright, Fluttershy, but this could have been avoided if you had asked to take care of her in the first place.”

I clap my hands. “Alright, yeah, woo, crisis averted. My work here is done, so I’m gonna head on home, m’kay? See you all later then.” Ah, another successful lesson learned. Time to go home and celebrate another successful day of not screwing with the universe too much.

Author's Note

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The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 or An Apple A Day

“Permanent Vacation”

The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 or An Apple A Day

Judging by how excited everyone is for cider season, I figured the best way to prepare for it was to treat the entire thing like it was a convention. Which, in my mind at least, meant camping outside the place like I had nothing better to do till the day finally arrived. Thankfully, it was only in two days anyway, but still, that’s a long time to be sitting outside an orchard with nothing to do. But I wasn’t the only one with this brilliant idea, since tents are already lined up outside Sweet Apple Acres, and who else but Pinkie would be the first one in line. From our spot in line, I can just barely make out the crest of the main entrance to Sweet Apple Acres.

And thankfully it was the weekend, which means Scootaloo could come with me. And of course I wasn’t leaving Sonja behind either. During the mornings, we spent time enjoying the shining sun and warm weather. At nights, we spent time around a little campfire I had built and roasted marshmallows, telling stories or just listening to me strum my guitar, which somehow generated an impromptu concert right there. And to top it all off, everyone else camping out was incredibly friendly and polite. I had no worries of walking away from our tent, not like back home.

I feel my iPod vibrate, the alarm I had set going off. Groggily opening my eyes, I sit up and stretch. I nudge Scootaloo’s sleeping form to my right. “Hey, rise and shine, sleepyhead.”

She moans. “Five more minutes…”

I smirk. “Well, I guess that means no cider for you then.”

She bolts straight up. “I’m up, I’m up!”

I chuckle, slowly petting Sonja’s prone form to my left. “That’s my girl. Now hurry up and get ready, we don’t want to miss out on this famed cider.” Sonja sits up, her ears perked. She lets out a bark. “What is it girl?” A second later, I hear a whooshing sound from outside, followed by our tent being ruffled by a breeze. Ah, it would seem our chromatic friend has arrived late.

Already dressed for today, I crawl out from my sleeping bag and open the tent flap. Stepping outside with Sonja darting out right behind me, I zip the flap back up so Scootaloo can get dressed. Turning around, I take a deep breath of the air and smile. It’s going to be a great day in Equestria. I wonder how soon this thing is gonna start.

“Blake?”

I look to my left to see Rainbow standing there. “Oh hey, Rainbow. Got here a bit late, did ya?”

Her mouth opens and closes a few times. “But… I… You…”

I shrug my shoulders. “You snooze, ya lose. I’ve been camping here since two days ago.”

“Is that Rainbow Dash?” I hear the tent flap zip open. “Are you here for the cider too?”

“Hey, she must be your kid! She asks the obvious questions just like you!”

I roll my eyes. “Why else would she be here?”

Scootaloo looks at the line of ponies behind us. I steal a glance as well, raising an eyebrow at it cresting over the distance hill. Heh, looks like she’s gonna be waiting a while. “Wow, the line got really long!” Rainbow mumbles under her breath and flies away. Scootaloo watches her before turning to me. “Was it something I said?”

I smirk. “Nah, she’s just a little upset she didn’t get here fast enough to be first in line.”

She smiles. “Good, because I don’t want her upset at me.”

That would be the least of Rainbow’s worries at this point. I shake my head. “She’ll get over it at some point. For now,” I jerk my head towards our stuff, “Let’s pack up our stuff before the line starts moving.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine, I’ll get started on the tent.”

I don’t know what she was complaining about, things went by fast enough that we were able to finish in time. And… My brilliant plan missed one important part. Now we gotta lug everything with us. And Scootaloo didn’t let me hear the end of it, not that I could blame her. But the reminder that it will be worth it in the end does stem her a bit, let alone keep me calm.

“Greetings ya’ll!” Oh good, it must be starting if Applejack is yelling. Presumably from a megaphone since I can’t see her. “Welcome to the annual Apple family cider sale!” A rousing throng of cheers and clapping come from all present. “As usual, we sell as long as the barrels survive! Now let’s get this train ah rolling!” Eh, I could care less if I get some cider today. After all, I already have a barrel reserved, so it’s not like I’m gonna miss out.

Slowly but surely, the line moves forward. Ponies walk back towards town with varied looks of pure bliss plastered across their face. Okay, maybe I lied. I really, really want some of that cider right now. I’m only slightly aware of the drool pooling in the mouth at this point. With a gulp, I swallow. “Oh man, if this is what I have to look forward to, then this will really be worth it.”

“You won’t believe how amazing it is!” Scootaloo’s wings buzz, lifting her off the ground slightly, even with all’s carrying. Which I should point out is just a sleeping bag and a backpack, but it’s understandable considering her strength and size.

I smile. “Well, considering what I have worked out already with Applejack, we’ll be able to enjoy it longer.”

She tilts her head. “What do you mean?”

I glance around, already noticing a couple of eyes turning my way. I lean in close to her. “I reserved a barrel just for us, but don’t say anything,” I whisper.

Her eyes widen. “All for us? Awesome!”

I whistle for Sonja. “Go find Winona, girl. Go and play with her.” Instead of having her sit around here, I figure she should at least go and enjoy herself. With a bark, she races off toward the front of the line. I can only assume she’s gonna find Applejack first, and then pick up Winona’s scent from her. With a shrug, I adjust my grip on the mini cooler I brought and keep moving forward. Time seems to drag on, but eventually I catch sight of a stand set up that the Apples are manning.

By the time we reach the stand, the succulent smell of fresh cider has fully assaulted my nostrils. “Howdy there, Blake and Scootaloo.”

I set down the cooler. “Morning, Apple’s.” I look at the elderly mare standing there, back hunched and carrying a walking stick. “Ah, and you must be the famed Granny Smith.” I take her hand and kiss the back of it. “A pleasure to finally meet you.”

“You really flatter these older mares, don’t ya? You looking to get into those bloomers?”

I nearly gag. “As if I wasn’t scarred enough.”

“Well, ain’t you just the handsome charmer.”

I smile. “What can I say, I was raised to be a gentleman to all.”

She nudges Applejack. “This one’s a keeper, young’un. Ah can see why ya talk about him so much.”

Applejack blushes profusely. “Granny!”

The rest of us laugh. “Alright, I think we’ve tormented Applejack enough. So far today, has business been treating ya good?”

Big Mac smirks. “Eeyup.” He motions to behind the stand.

I lean over and look. Two massive sacks of bits sit there, eliciting a whistle from me. “Man, you aren’t kidding.” I lean back and smirk. “You sure you need my business?”

“Well, we ain’t gonna turn you away,” Applejack says.

“Ugh, can we get some cider already?!”

I chuckle and rub Scootaloo’s head. “Alright, alright. How much for some cider?”

“Five bits!”

I reach into my pocket and pull the bits out, handing them off to Apple Bloom. I then lean on the counter while she gets a mug ready for Scoots. “Let’s get this business out of the way too, how much for the barrel I reserved?”

Applejack, Mac, and Granny glance at each other. “Give us a moment.” They step away from the stand and huddle up.

I hear a content moan come from Scootaloo. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this day!”

“Did ya talk with Miss Cheerilee about what she wanted?”

I raise an eyebrow. “About what?”

Apple Bloom shrugs her shoulders. “Ah don’t know. Scoots was supposed to tell ya.”

I look at Scootaloo to see her avoiding eye contact. “Heh, I guess I forgot to.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I’ll find her later today and ask her.”

“Alright,” I turn my attention back to Applejack, “We decided that the price is sixty bits.”

I shrug my shoulders. I reach into my backpack and pull out sixty-five bits. “Here ya go, plus an extra five for a mug right now.”

Mac takes the bits. “You gonna come back later for it?”

I nod my head. “Yeah.” Apple Bloom hands me a mug. I smile, finally able to taste this famed… I pause, raising an eyebrow. “Anybody else hear that big band music?”

“What’s that?” I look towards where Scootaloo is pointing to see a massive wagon chugging towards us, bouncing merrily along to the tune of the music coming from it while plumes of smoke rise out of its two smoke stacks on its sides. Overall, the entire design of the thing reminds me of something from a steampunk universe.

It slowly chugs to a halt before us with a low, grinding hiss. All around me, ponies actually get out of line to surround this contraption. With a shrug, I go raise the mug of cider back towards my lips, ready to— “Stop right there, good sir!”

I don’t know what compels me to actually listen, but I do. “I say brother, it looks as if this fine gentlecolt was about to try some cider.” From around the back of the machine, two stallions identical in almost every way, except for the one with a moustache, saunter out from behind the machine. From the way they’re dressed in those pinstripe vests with black bowties and white pants, one could assume they’re part of a barbershop quartet.

“Right you are, my brother!” They both sidle up to me, leaning on a shoulder. One of them slowly pushes my arm holding the mug down till it hits the table. “I say good sir, I say, how would you like to try some of the most mouthwatering, delicious, one of a kind, top notch, grade A cider right now?”

I glance between the two. “Depends. Tell me who you are first.”

“He’s Flim,” The one with the mustache points to the other.

“He’s Flam,” Flim points out.

They both push off of my shoulder and stand in front of their machine. “And we’re the world famous Flim-Flam brothers, travelling salesponies nonpareil!”

“Non what now?” Apple Bloom voices my exact thoughts.

From nowhere, music starts playing, which the brothers sing along to, describing the plight of how Ponyville has to wait a full year for cider again, that some won’t get any this year, blah, blah, blah. Around me, ponies are getting more and more excited over the prospect of having cider whenever they want thanks to the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. As this song and dance rolls along, I can see the Apples slowly becoming upset over the brothers turning the town against them.

Alright, I’ve had enough of this. I raise the Ambassador in the air and fire. The music comes to a grinding halt as everyone stops and looks at me. “Alright, we get it. Your machine will give us constant cider year round. But,” I point to the Apples, “They own the orchards around here.”

The brothers nod their heads. “And right you are sir, which is why we’re willing to enter into a partnership with this fine family. Our cider machine for production, their apples for use,” Flim says.

They both sidle to Applejack. “Let’s say… A seventy-five twenty-five spilt, wherein you will supply the apples, while we shall produce and label the cider under our name. What say you, my dear?”

I can see Applejack running the numbers in her head. “At that rate, we ain’t gonna have enough money to maintain the farm during the winter months. No deal.” Um... What about the money that Mac earns from being in the band? Eh, not my business what he does with it.

“And ya’ll can’t make cider like that! It needs to be made with love and care, not some automated doohickey!” Granny says.

I glance between the two groups, a smirk forming on my face. “Alright, it seems we are at an impasse. So, I would like to propose an idea.”

Everyone turns to me. “If ya suggest we take the deal—”

I shake my head. “Let me finish. You are both confident in your cider production processes, correct?”

“Nothing beats our cider!” Apple Bloom yells.

Flam pats their machine. “I can assure you, nothing, and I say nothing, can beat the quality of our cider!”

“Then I propose a contest. Using whatever process, each of you will see who can produce the most barrels in an hour. I’ll be the judge since I’m the one who came up with this idea. Winner gets the farm and rights to cider production in the area. Do both parties agree?”

“Now listen here. We don’t need no contest to prove our cider is the best!”

Flim and Flam huddle up for a couple of seconds. “We would very much like to prove our superior cider quality and production, but it would seem the Apples are too chicken for such a contest.” Flim sighs and shakes his head. “Such a shame, dear brother.”

“A truly shameful thing indeed.”

Granny rounds on the brothers, eyes narrowed. “Nopony calls the Apples chickens. We accept the challenge.”

I look up. “Rainbow, pass the word along down the line.” I let a smile cross my face. “There’s gonna be a challenge for cider production in Ponyville.”

While the Apples went to fetch their supplies and drag them out, the crowd around us started finding places with a good view of the impromptu showdown. Pretty sure I also saw a couple of bets taking place too, but that’s not my problem. As for me, well, I have no doubts about the Apple’s winning, but I gotta make everything look professional to keep everything fair. So once the Apple’s came back with all their gear, I stood up from my seat at the cider stand which had been converted into the judging table.

I let out a long, shrill whistle. “Alright! Before we begin, I will inspect both parties’ supplies to make sure no unfair advantages are found, okay?”

“Blake, ya know we are—”

I hold up a hand. “I know your values and how much pride you take in your work, Applejack, but I gotta keep this professional and civil.” I turn to the brothers. “Brothers? May I?” I motion towards the Cider Squeezy 6000.

“By all means, go right ahead,” Flim says.

“We can assure you that you will find nothing to grant such an unfair advantage to us in this fair and honest contest.”

With a shrug of my shoulders, I slowly walk around the machine, inspecting every detail visible to my eye if it so much as looked important or moved in any way. I took extra note of a lever on the side detailing the different speed settings and a quality control switch. As much as I wanted to tamper with them, I couldn’t without getting caught or potentially ruining this contest.

With a nod to the brothers, I walk over to the Apples primitive setup. I raise an eyebrow at the lack of things for me to inspect. “Are you sure this is all you need? No going back after this starts to get extra gear.”

“Young’un, we’ve been making cider this way long before you were born, and we ain’t changing it now because of some fancy contraption.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Fair enough.” I inspect what they have, and can find nothing wrong with the setup. Taking my place back at the stand, I announce to everyone around, “After reviewing both parties, I can find nothing wrong with either process. So without further ado, I propose that the contest can officially begin. Get yourselves ready.”

The brothers casually take a seat on top of their machine while the Apples setup, with Applejack standing by the trees, Mac on a treadmill connected to a press with stacks of barrels nearby, Granny sitting by a chute that leads to the press, and Apple Bloom standing by a pile of baskets.

I snap my fingers. “Mayor, if you would be so kind as to provide me with the hourglass?” Ivory Scroll sets a miniature hourglass on the stand in front of me. Nodding my thanks to her, I place my hand on the top of the hourglass. “Are both parties ready?”

“The Apples are ready ta show these stallions how real is cider is made!” The Apples let out a rallying cry.

The brothers laugh. “We are ready to bring cider to these fine ponies of Ponyville!”

“Then I declare this contest,” I flip the hourglass over, “Underway! Begin!”

Immediately, Applejack bucks a tree and moves on to another tree while Apple Bloom scrambles to catch the apples as they fall. Once her basket is full, she drops it off by Granny and grabs an empty basket. Granny adjusts her glasses and starts grabbing apples, tossing rotten ones off to the side and good ones into the chute. Mac starts running on the treadmill, pressing the apples into cider which runs out of a tap into an awaiting barrel. Once the barrel is full, Mac closes it and tosses it off to the side.

Meanwhile, the brothers only have to push a button to start their process, which involves a long hose hovering over a tree, sucking the apples out of its branches, then filtering them through a quality control center housed within the machine. The finished barrel is then deposited out of a chute in the back.

From the start, it seems like the Apples are gonna lose this contest. And Rarity voices my exact thoughts. “This is just dreadful. Even at top speed, the Apples are only producing one barrel to the brother’s three!”

I lean back in my chair with my hands behind my head. I notice Twilight walking over to me. “Why’d you even propose this contest? She’s our friend, and this farm means everything to Applejack and her family! If they lose the farm, the Apples are going to lose everything!”

I don’t take my eyes off the contest. I gotta pretend to be observant after all. “Have faith in them, Twilight. I know I do.”

I hear her huff and walk away, thinking it’s the end of the discussion. Not moments later, Rainbow slams her hand on the table, causing me to jump. “Alright, bub, this is a contest against the Apples, and we want in!” She motions behind her to the rest of the girls.

I raise an eyebrow. “Last time I checked, none of you are related to the Apples.”

“Umm… But we’re honorary Apples.”

I turn to Fluttershy. “Since when?”

“It was way back when you first arrived in town during Applebuck season but you weren’t there and I don’t know why you weren’t there. Why weren’t you there anyway?”

“Pinkie, please, we don’t have time for this. Applejack needs our help!”

I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t see a reason why not, though both parties must agree.” I stand up and head over towards the brothers. “Brothers,” I motion to the girls, “These are honorary Apple family members, and they would like to help out their family. Is this acceptable?”

Flim waves his hand. “Of course. It’s not like the outcome is going to change anyway, though they are welcome to try.”

I nod my head and head over to Applejack. “Applejack, your honorary family would like to help you out.”

Applejack wipes her brow, sweat dripping off her body. “Ah’d appreciate any help from all of my family.”

I motion for the girls to come over. “Alright ladies, you part of this contest now, and as such, I expect all rules to be abided, okay?”

Rarity gasps. “Why, I don’t think we’d even consider it!”

Applejack shakes her head. “If’n we’re gonna win, we’re gonna fair and honestly.”

I nod my head. “I expect as much, but still needed to say it. Good luck.” I head back to the stand and sit back down, watching as Twilight quickly assigns the girls to a station. Rarity helps out Granny with the sorting, Fluttershy shakes the apples out of the trees, Pinkie helps out Apple Bloom with collecting duties, Rainbow runs alongside Mac on the treadmill, and Twilight caps the barrels and stacks them off to the side. From out of nowhere, I see a scroll and quill appear beside Twilight. While she works, she glances between everybody else and writes on the scroll.

First off, she must have some insane concentration to be able to keep up her pace and focus on an entirely different task. Second, I don’t know what she’s writing, but she says something that I can't hear that causes the brothers to freak out. They leap from their seats and race around the Cider Squeezy 6000 to where I can’t see them. The machine seems to shudder a bit before seemingly kicking into overdrive, its suction hose ripping entire trees out of the ground and barrels flying out the back.

“You do realize that you’re hurting the Apple’s even more right now.”

“How so?”

“How about a little thing called property damage? It’s gonna take them a while to replant these trees, but hey, as long as you get some apple cider!”

I sigh. Here I am thinking I’m doing the right thing by letting these events happen, but do some of them really need to? This could have been ended sooner, yet I chose to help things get this far. “What’s wrong, Blake?”

I glance to the right, not realizing Sweetie and Scootaloo had snuck up beside me. I shake my head. “The Rejects are gonna have a tour soon, and I have got a lot of ideas and things I would like to happen, but I’m having some second thoughts.” I’m not lying to them. I truly am having some second thoughts. After all, this band is resting on my shoulders right now.

“About what? You guys are an awesome band!”

I smile. “I know that, Scoots. It’s just that some of my ideas might not be looked upon by the public that way.”

“Like what? Rarity always tells me that talking with others can help you come up with something even better.”

I hesitate. “I really don’t want to bore both of you with the details.”

“Come on! You’re a Crusader! You should be able to talk with your fellow Crusaders!”

Damn it. But I will applaud Scootaloo’s use of my ‘membership’ to the Crusaders. “Alright, alright.” I place my hands on my lap and look at them. “You know the type of music we’ve been doing so far?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“I’m thinking of our future here, and I don’t want to tie us down to a specific genre. I want us to be able to branch out, reach all fans of music out there. But I don’t want to lose the fans we already have.”

“Why would you lose them?”

I tap my chin. How can I put this into terms they can understand? “Suppose that one day, the Cakes decide to change the recipe for your favorite thing there. You don’t like the recipe at all, so you stop getting it. Then the Cakes reintroduce the old recipe. Maybe you try it and it doesn’t taste the same as it did before, or maybe you don’t and the Cakes lose a customer.”

Sweetie’s eyes widen. “Ohh, I get it now! You’re worried that if you change the type of music you play, then whenever you come back to it, all of your fans won’t like it anymore!”

I pat her head. “Right on the nose.”

Scootaloo rolls her eyes. “Then forget those ponies! If they don’t like it, they don’t have to listen to it! And if they keep complaining, I’ll give ‘em the old one-two!” She shadow boxes the air in front of her.

I laugh. “I’ll be sure to send them your way if it comes to that.”

“Umm… Blake? The time ran out on the hourglass.”

I look at the hourglass, jumping up out of my seat at the sight of the sand at the bottom. How long has it been like that?! “Thanks for the talk you two, but I gonna finish this contest!” I run out towards the brothers and Apples, waving my hands like a madman while screaming that time is up. The Apples plus girls stagger over, sweat dripping from them and a haggard look in their eyes. The brothers got it easy, able to just flip a switch to stop their process.

After the crowds cheering dies down, I announce, “Now comes the important part in this contest! Who made the most barrels of cider!” The brothers proudly stand in front of their stack, while the Apples and girls trudge over to their stack. From pure looks alone, the brothers made more barrels, and it’s clearly evident to everyone. I see Apple Bloom tear up and Granny going to comfort her, the girls comforting Applejack, and Mac never once taking his eyes off the brothers.

I…I can’t do this. I should have stopped this from the start. Now… Now I’ve made a filly cry, all because my brain won out over my heart. I take a deep breath. “But first!” I pause as all eyes turn to me. “I think a taste test is in order!”

The brothers balk at this. “But that wasn’t in the original rules!” Flim says, tugging at his bow tie.

I turn to glare at them. “I have altered the rules. Pray that I don’t alter them any further.”

The brothers huddle up for a moment, whispering to each other. Finally, they turn back. “We refuse to accept this change in rules.” Flam says.

“The original challenge was set to only go by—”

I had enough. I grab the side of their heads and smash them together. I grin as they clutch their heads. “Would you like to keep talking? I’m sure the rest of that sentence didn’t end with some variation of agreeing to the new rules.”

Flim gulps. “Um, yes it did actually! Brother, be a gentlestallion and get this judge a fine mug of cider!”

“Right away!” Flam rushes over, going to fill up the mug with cider from one of the barrels at the bottom of their stack.

“Nope!” Flam looks at me. “From the last barrel you made, at the top.”

“But—” I crack my knuckles, causing him to gulp. “O-Of course!” He levitates the barrel down to his level. Once he fills up the mug, he slowly walks back and hands it to me. I nearly gag at the putrid smell alone, not to mention the twigs, leaves, and dirt floating in it.

I drop the mug to the ground, my glare never once leaving the brothers. “Inedible. No one on the planet would buy this garbage, and if they did, they’d be in the morgue in minutes. The Apples win by default,” I yell out, causing everyone to cheer.

Flam glares and steps forward. “You can’t declare them the winner!” Apparently, someone grew their balls back. “You didn’t even try their cider!”

Flim nods his head. “And you can’t judge an entire batch on one barrel!”

I wait till the crowd dies down before responding. “Oh, but I can.” I step towards Flam, causing his eyes to widen and for him to start stepping back, Flim quickly joining him. “In all honesty, the contest was never gonna go your way in the first place. The cards were rigged from the start, boys.”

“But that’s not fair!” Flim whines.

“Life isn’t fair, get over it. Tell me though,” I’ve backed them up against their machine by now, “What made you look down at this place and try to take it over? The home of one of the Elements of Harmony? All it would take is for Celestia or Luna to find out that an Element has lost something so dear to them and they’d be here in a heartbeat.”

The brothers gulp. “W-We didn’t know!” Flam stammers out.

“Of course not, nobody ever knows of the fucking saviors of the land. I get that you’re salesmen and this is how you make your living, but sometimes you gotta cut your losses and walk away, like you should have today. That’s not what angers me though. These hardworking ponies depend on the trees around here, and for you to so blatantly rip them from the ground just to win a contest?! Do you know how hard it is for them to maintain this farm, to make a living just to survive?!”

“They have plenty of trees here! Surely a few wouldn’t matter!” Flim says.

Before I can say anything else, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I glance over to see Applejack standing there. “That’s enough, sugarcube.”

I can’t just let them walk away, not without paying some kind of price. But this is Applejack’s fight to win, not mine. But I still caused this… I clench and unclench my fists a couple of times before relenting. Walking towards the rest of the girls, I take a few deep breaths just to calm my nerves. “Sorry about all that.”

“What brought that on?” Twilight asks.

I sigh. “I could have prevented all this from the start, instead of instigating it. Thanks to me, the Apples lost some trees,” I point at Apple Bloom, “You cried, and I put all of you through undue stress over a stupid contest that I could have stopped!”

“Don’t worry ‘bout the trees much. We can always replant them.”

“I don’t think there was much you could do, dearie. Those two seemed to know just what to say to rile up the Apples. Even if you didn’t say anything, I’m sure this still would have happened.”

While I appreciate Rarity and Mac trying to reassure me, it doesn’t do much. Still, I’d rather this day just be over instead of dwelling on what ifs. “I suppose your right, Rarity, but I still don’t like it. I just hope Applejack treats them better than I would have.”

“Um… She’s letting them go.”

I turn and look. Sure enough, they climb onto the Cider Squeezy 6000 and drive away. Applejack watches them for a bit before coming towards us. “They’re more trouble than it’s worth.”

I don’t take my eyes off the brothers. “They’ll be back. People like them, they don’t learn and they never will.” I shake my head and turn to Applejack. “Sorry for doing this to all of ya.”

She rolls her eyes. “Tain’t nothing the Apples couldn’t handle. Nothing compares ta hard work!”

“I told ya nothing compares to Apple Family Cider!”

I smile. “I never had my doubts, Granny.”

I notice Apple Bloom eyeing the stack of barrels. “So… How many barrels did we make?”

I eye the stack as well. “Who cares? Judging by what’s here, and what you still have stashed back at the barn,” I turn to the crowd and spread my arms, “I’d say there’s enough for the whole town!” Everyone present cheers.

I feel a tugging on my leg. Looking down, I see Apple Bloom holding a mug of cider. “Ya never did get ta drink your cider.”

I smile. Grabbing the mug from her, I heft it up and down the thing. Within moments, my mouth is flooded with the crisp, cool taste of fresh apples with a natural sweetness one would be hard pressed to find anywhere else. Okay, maybe everything today was totally worth it if this is the end result.

Author's Note

Cover art finally up! While I actually thought of the title and premise for this story by listening to Aerosmith's Permanent Vacation, the current cover art just seemed to fit the opening chapter better. Enjoy!

Show, Don't Tell

“Permanent Vacation”

Show, Don’t Tell

After everything died down yesterday, I borrowed a cart from the Apples, grabbed my barrel of cider, and hurried home to deposit it and our camping gear before rushing back to return the cart. Took a bit of time, but I wasn’t gonna keep a full blown cart around my place. Plus, it allowed me to inform Mac to meet at Vinyl’s tomorrow. On the way back to my place, I also stopped in to see Spike and Lyra to pass along the same info. And of course when I got home, I had a cup of some cider with some vodka mixed in for good measure. And since I had some, Scootaloo had to have some, minus the vodka of course. But I didn’t stay up late tonight, since tomorrow is gonna be a busy day.

After sending Scootaloo off to school, I made a beeline towards Vinyl’s. After all, I’m not sure how long it’ll take for us to discuss our tour. Arriving at her place, I see she got the front door fixed. Pushing open the door, I smile at everyone. “Glad to see you all made it.”

“Like we would miss this! We’re talking about our entire future here!”

I smirk. “I like that enthusiasm, Lyra.”

“Alright, let’s take this upstairs.” We follow Vinyl upstairs to her recording studio, where we each take a seat. She leans back in her seat. “So, we have a lot of things to go over. On your end, that includes type of music, tour length, and tour name. I can handle everything else once that’s out of the way.”

“Then why don’t we start with the type of music we’re gonna play? We just stick with the type of music we’ve been doing and everything’s set.”

I sigh. “I’m gonna argue with you on that, Spike. I was hoping we’d try something a bit more… Edgy this time around.”

Mac raises an eyebrow. “Edgy how?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Like, some swearing, maybe some different themes.”

Lyra shrugs her shoulders. “I’m all for it.”

“Now hold on. Why would we change things up now?”

“Because, Mac, I don’t why us to be pegged as a specific type of band. I want us to be able to switch between genres on the fly, never tying us down to a single one. I want to branch out a bit and maybe get some more fans.”

Vinyl lowers her shades. “While it sounds good in theory, you will likely alienate some of your fan base.”

I lean back in my chair and look up. “And that is what I don’t want to happen. I love this band too much for us to lose it all over my stupid suggestion.”

“Why don’t we just do a mix of both then? Do some edgy stuff, but then mix in some of our normal stuff?” Lyra looks between us, gauging our reactions.

I clap my hands. “I’m in if you guys are in.” While this solution was on my mind, I didn’t wanna be the one to bring it up.

Mac closes his eyes and looks down. After a bit, he looks back up and opens his eyes. “As long as we don’t get too deep into this, ah’m in.”

Spike nods his head. “I’m with Mac on this one, actually.”

I hold my hands up. “Alright, alright, it’s settled then. We mix up our songs, play a little of both sides, and we agree to what songs we play. Done, moving on to the next item on the agenda.”

Vinyl nods her head. “Based on that, what do you want the tour name to be? I gotta promote this to the right crowds.”

Everyone looks at me. “What?”

“You’re the one with the music,” Mac says.

I rub the back of my head. “Heh, right. Based on what we just said, I got some songs where the theme is rebellion, breaking out of the norm, expressing yourself. So, I propose we name the tour something along the lines of that. My original idea was to call it Equestrian Revolution. Any objections or suggestions?”

“Nope.”

“I think it fits.”

“Well, if the theme if being different and unique from everypony else, then I say it works too.”

Vinyl nods her head. “Yeah, yeah, I can see how to promote this already. Last thing on the agenda, the tour length. We could do a couple of cities, or every city in Equestria. It’s up to you guys what you want to do though.”

“Ah say we keep it short.”

I raise an eyebrow. “But more cities equals more money? And I think we all want more money.”

“Some of actually do have lives we need to get back to though,” Spike says.

I shrug my shoulders. “Alright then, we keep it short.” While I’m not strapped for cash, it never hurts to have more. “Good enough for you, Vinyl?”

She nods her head. “Yeah, I got all I need.” She jerks her head behind her. “Why don’t you four get started on practicing the songs then?”

Mac nods his head. “Sounds like a plan. Let’s get started. Ah gotta get back to the farm at some point today.”

For the next couple of hours, we practice and practice as if our lives depended on it, which it should. I expected there to be some arguments, and there were, but they were short lived and easily resolved. And as much as I hate to say it, Mac and Spike were right. Some of the stuff I wanted to play would have alienated some of our fanbase right away. And while I wish we could have spent more time practicing so we had one less worry, Mac had to call it quits after a while.

After packing up, we left Vinyl alone in her studio and headed outside. “Whenever you guys want to practice again, you know where to hit me up.”

“Likewise.”

“See ya’ll later.”

Lyra and Mac go their separate ways, leaving Spike and I alone. “So… Wanna come to the library and read some comics?”

I raise an eyebrow. “I’m surprised Twilight even lets you have them in the library,” I shake my head, “And I cannot today. I gotta go meet with Cheerilee about something. It’s probably about how Scootaloo is doing in school or something.”

“Drat. Oh well, see you around.”

I wave to him as he walks home. “You too, Spike.”

I idly check what time it is. Shit, gonna be cutting it close if I hope to catch her as school lets out. Without a moment to spare, I set out on a hearty jog towards the school, which isn’t that hard to find considering it’s one of the few taller buildings in Ponyville. You would think the school would be closer to town, but I digress. I arrive just in time to see children file out of the school in a mad stampede.

“Blake?”

I smile at the Crusaders. “Hey, girls. Ready to go out crusading?”

“You mean you’re actually going crusading with us?!” I try to avoid cringing as Sweetie’s voice cracks at the end of her yell.

I chuckle. “Not want I meant. I’m actually here to talk to Cheerilee. Is she around?”

Apple Bloom points to the school. “She’s inside grading our homework right now.”

I nod my head. “Alright. So, what are ya gonna crusade for today?”

Scootaloo shakes her head. “We don’t know yet. We’re heading to the clubhouse right now to figure out what.”

I smile. “Well, I’m not gonna waste you’re important time then. You girls have fun now.”

“Will do, Blake!” Man, they have gotta practice to be able to say that in unison.

As they head towards wherever the clubhouse is stashed in Sweet Apple Acres, I make my way to the open door. While the door is open, it’d be rude of me to not knock first. “Hello?”

Sitting at her desk is Miss Cheerilee, wearing a brown vest and a green dress adorned with sunflowers. While not noticeable at first, I do spot what looks like a hairclip in the shape of her cutie mark of three smiling sunflowers. At the sound of my knock, she looks up from her desk towards me. She smiles and stands up, walking over to me. “Blake, so nice to finally meet you.”

“Oh momma! Look at that body! She could teach us all night long!”

I must admit, everything about her is tempting, from her voice to the way she walks. But alas, her heart is destined for Mac, not me. Dispelling such thoughts from my head, I shake her hand. “And a pleasure to meet you too.”

She motions towards her desk. “Please, pull up a chair and have a seat.”

While she heads back to her desk, I glance around at the interior of the school. Overall, the entire place looks warm and inviting. Motivational, educational, and student drawn posters line the walls, about twenty or so desks, a couple of bookshelves, and a large chalkboard lining the wall behind Cheerilee, along with a projector screen rolled up. I’m assuming the two doors lead to a restroom and a supply closet. Grabbing one of the student’s chairs, I pull it up in front of her desk.

Fidgeting slightly, I lean back in the chair. “I’ve recently been informed you’ve been looking for me?”

She nods her head. “For a while now, yes. Did Scootaloo not tell you?”

I nod my head. “Yeah, seems she forgot to. Only found out through Apple Bloom telling me. Sorry for making you wait.”

She smiles. “It’s quite alright. There isn’t any hurry.” She clasps her hands together and leans forward. “I actually wanted to talk with you about something.”

I raise an eyebrow. “If it’s about Scootaloo’s grades, I’m working on it.”

She laughs. “No, nothing of the sort. Her grades are actually improving, so you’re doing just fine.”

I lean forward. “Then why call this meeting if it has nothing to do with Scootaloo?”

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to come in one day and speak about your world. It’s very rare we get guests from foreign lands to speak. I was planning on asking Gilda, but we know how that turned out.”

“Oh, this is gonna be fun! Or traumatic. Either way, I love it!”

“Me? Oh, there isn’t much to say about it in all honesty.”

She smiles. “Surely you must have some things to talk about to the class.”

I sigh. “Are you sure? My world is very different from yours. I don’t need to scar these kids more than they need.”

“I’m positive. As many wrongs as there are in each culture, there is always some good to be found.”

I rub my chin. Hmm… I could talk about tons of the things from Earth, but what to talk about that would be okay with Cheerilee? “Alright, alright, I’ll find something to talk about.”

“Wonderful! I’m sure the children will love it. When would you like to come in?”

I would like to make it early. The sooner this gets done, the better for all parties involved. “How about tomorrow around ten? That way we both have time to prepare.”

She glances at a couple of papers on her desk. “Yes, that would be perfect. I’ll make sure the children are ready for you.”

I nod my head and stand up. “A pleasure, Cheerilee, but I’m afraid I have other matters to attend to. I shall see you tomorrow though.” Oh, am I gonna have fun with these kids.

The next day, I stand outside the school doors with a pack full of everything I could think to bring. Maps, pictures, books, if it had anything even remotely related to what I wanted to talk about, I brought it in a backpack. I lean against the side of the building, not paying heed to the world around me. After all, I gotta pick and choose what I say and how I say it if I’m gonna keep this entire thing appropriate for the children.

“Blake?”

I turn to Cheerilee, poking her head out the door. “Hmm?”

“We’re ready for you now.”

“Wait, wait! Let me get the camera first! I wanna record this so your grandkids can see how badly you screwed up!”

I smile and nod my head. “Then please, have a seat with the children. The show’s about to begin.”

She nods her head and step back inside. “Okay class, please give a warm welcome to our guest today, Blake Quinter!”

I smirk and step inside to the sounds of the children clapping. I take a little bow up front while Cheerilee walks to the back of the class and sits down in an empty chair. “We’ll get started in a second, but let me setup my materials first.”

As I turn around to work, pulling out a map of the Earth and of the United States, I hear someone ask me, “What place is that?”

I glance over my shoulder as I tape the map to the chalkboard. “Ah, a good question that I’ll get to in a second.” Once I finish hanging up the maps, I pull out a stack of books and some pictures, setting them on the desk. I nod my head and look up at the class. “So, let’s begin with why I am here. Your wonderful teacher has asked me to come in today and speak about my previous world, Earth. As such, I am here to do just that. And who’s the one who asked about these maps?”

A beige colt raises his hand. “I did, sir.”

I smile and motion to the map of the world to my left. “Well, you’re looking at a map of Earth. As you can see, it is mostly covered in water and has seven distinct landmasses that we call continents. We have North America, South America, Asia, Africa, Europe, Australia, and Antarctica.” I point out to each one as I say it. “Within each of these continents, we have countries, such as the United States of America,” I motion to the map on my right, “Located in North America.”

“What kind of town was…” A greyish filly squints at the map, “Washington?”

I chuckle. “Washington isn’t a town. See, each of these names on the map are actually states, different sections of land where different cultures and lifestyles live. Within each state are the cities, towns, and people that make it up.”

“What was it like in the United States?” Apple Bloom asks.

I smirk and chuckle. “You want to know what the United States is like?” The children nod their heads. “Alright, you asked for it.” I clear my throat. “Hi, I’m America, and we build monster trucks for fun!”

I notice Scootaloo’s eyes widen. “Monster trucks?!”

“Yes!” I hand her a picture of Gravedigger, “Massive, mechanical trucks, which would be the equivalent to a self-powered wagon or cart here, that can crush cars, roar with their massive engines, and jump from ramps, all in the form of entertainment!”

I watch as the picture is passed around, letting everyone get a chance to see it. “That looks awesome!”

I clap my hands. “You ain’t seen nothing yet! We also built a top fuel drag racer that can go from zero to three hundred thirty in under five seconds!” I hand out another picture.

The last kid to get the picture is Diamond Tiara. She scoffs, and then asks the question I’ve been waiting to hear. “Why would you even build something like that?”

I laugh. “Because we were bored!”

“Because you were bored?” Wow, much be really shocking to Cheerilee.

“Yes!” I shake my head. “Although, if you really want to see what we’ll build next, make us angry. Cause I’ll be honest, our society doesn’t really advance unless someone made us so upset that we as a country came together and built these amazing things, all in the name of wartime progression!” I shake my head, “But enough about that, since we’re getting to some things that you really shouldn’t hear. After all, wars are not to be taken lightly. Next question.”

Sweetie raises her hand. “What was your princess like?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Princess?” I shake my head. “We didn’t have one.”

“Then who ran your country?” Snips asks.

“The president, a man, or woman, who we as a country vote to say that we want them to lead us. Granted, we had a massive system in place to prevent them from getting too much power.” I shake my head. “I can’t tell you more than that, because I never really followed politics, and I absolutely hate learning about it.”

“What kind of people lived in the United States?” A green colt asks.

“Anyone and everyone. You see, the ideals of the United States, life, liberty, and justice for all, appealed to so many people around the world that people moved just to be in the country. As a result, many different types of people and cultures are spread across the country.”

“What’s your special talent?”

I shake my head. “Ah, we shall save that question for Family Appreciation Day. This is supposed to be about my world, not me.”

“What was it like where you lived?”

I smile. “Actually, it’s kinda like Ponyville. Small town nestled in the shadow of a larger city with about the same population size if my estimates are correct. Of course, not everyone was as friendly as here.” I chuckle. “Oh, I bet a few people are happy I’m not there anymore.”

“Why?” Sweetie asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know, honestly. I tried being friendly to them, being a good neighbor like society tells us, but they always seemed so cold and callus towards me that I just eventually stopped trying with them. Maybe because it was because of my laid back attitude or that I was very accepting of a lot of things. Next question.”

“What was the weather like?”

I actually have to think back for this one. What was the weather like? “It was very hot, humid, and rainy in the summers, and crisp, cool, snowy winters thanks to the lake effect. And no, we couldn’t control the weather to be whatever we wanted.”

“But what about magic?” Cheerilee asks.

I shake my head. “None of that either.” At the blank, some shocked, stares of everyone, I continue, “Magic to us was a thing of fantasy and myth. Of course, it always amazed us when someone came forward claiming to be able to use magic. And I will admit, the stuff they did was impressive, but it wasn’t real magic. It was nothing more than simple parlor tricks meant to confuse the mind into believing that that person was able to wield magic.”

I think I’ve worn out my welcome by now. “Any more questions?” No hands go up, so I’m assuming we’re done. “Well, it would seem like we’re done then. Cheerilee, these books here are for you to use however you please. They contain some more info about my world, although I advise that you take the time to study them carefully.”

Cheerilee claps her hands. “Wonderful. Now class?”

“Thank you, Blake.” Ah, the sweet chorus of kids thanking you.

I smile and take a bow. “You are welcome, children.”

“Aw, I didn’t get nothing traumatic or funny.”

“You doubted me? I’m hurt, truly, I am.”

“Hey, I gotta have my fun somehow!”

“You’re a magical being in my head. Just think up a version of Pinkie or Luna or someone and go from there.”

“…You just made me the happiest being alive!”

“Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I have to go practice for our upcoming tour!” Taking down the maps, I roll them back up and stuff them in the backpack before slinging it over my shoulder. Waving to the class, I head towards the door.

“Good luck, Blake!”

“Thank, Apple Bloom!” I yell over my shoulder.

It’s good to teach the younger generation, though I don’t think I’ve done much in that department today. But that’s the least of my worries now. Time to get back to practicing for our tour.

Well, it took a couple of weeks, but we’re finally ready to tour Equestria. The dates were set, the venues booked, and the tickets sold. Our first stop on the tour, Manehatten. Nothing like starting off big, eh? Even though the concert wasn’t until three days from now, we decided to get there early and enjoy the city. As of right now, the girls and the Crusaders are seeing us off at the station. Lyra came alone, though I assume Bon-Bon gave her a suitable parting gift, if you catch my drift.

I bend to the Crusaders level. “Now, no getting those Cutie Marks till I get back, ok?”

Scootaloo smirks. “We won’t make any promises.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, yeah. You figure out who you’re staying with yet?” I can’t very well leave her home alone, so I had her find out which of the Crusaders she’s staying with. Not that I don’t trust her or anything, it’s just that I don’t need something happening.

She chuckles and rubs the back of her head. “Uh…”

I sigh. “You didn’t ask, did you?” I shake my head. “Rarity, Applejack, would one of you mind letting Scootaloo stay over till I get back?”

Rarity nods her head. “Of course. I have room for her at the Boutique.”

Applejack shrugs her shoulders. “The farm has plenty of room. Heck, she could even stay with both of us if’n she wanted to.”

“Both sounds good.”

I nod my head and stand up. I look to Big Mac and Spike, both finishing with saying their goodbyes. Mac, being the ever so silent type, nods to everyone else before heading into the train car. I’m genuinely surprised Vinyl was able to get us two private cars, but it’s not like I’m gonna complain. Lyra is quick to follow him, since it’s not like she talks to everyone else much. As for Vinyl herself, she’s already in Manehatten, preparing everything for our arrival.

Bending down slightly, I scratch Sonja behind her ears. Just like with Scoots, I can’t leave her alone either, but at least I can take her with me. “Then you better behave for both of them, cause I’m sure Applejack can find some work for you to do around the farm if you don’t.”

Scootaloo glances at Applejack to see her smirking and nodding her head. “I’ll listen.” We all share a good laugh at that.

“All aboard!” The conductor yells out, the last few people on the platform getting onto the train. Even though we had our personal cars, it wasn’t like we had the entire train to ourselves. I grab my suitcase and heft my guitar strap up so it rests somewhat comfortably slung over my back.

I tap the back of Sonja’s head. “Into the train, girl.” With a bark, she bounds in. “Spike, you ready to go?”

“Just waiting on you.” I turn around to see him climbing into the train car already.

I glance over my shoulder. “See you when I get back, everyone.” Just as I’m about to climb into the train car, someone taps my shoulder. I glance behind me to see Twilight.

“Keep an eye on Spike for me, please?”

I turn around and smile, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, he’s safe with me. It’s not like I’m gonna corrupt him… much.” Before she has a chance to process what I said, I slide the door shut and latch it. With a chuckle, I turn around and head to the left, which leads me to our personal quarters. It’s simplistic in design, with four rooms, two on the left and two on the right, just big enough for us to move around in. Seeing only one open door and hearing Sonja scratching herself from within, I head in and toss my stuff on the bed crammed into the right side of the room. Afterwards, I head to the other car that functions as our living and dining car. Along the left side of the car is a bar, cabinets, and fridge, while the right has a TV mounted on the wall with a coffee table and sofa situated in front of it. Scattered around are chairs and various decorations, such as plants and paintings.

My first stop is the bar, seeing what options I got for drinking. It’s surprisingly well rounded in selection, and I do take note of all the items needed for an Alabama Slammer. I chuckle. Vinyl must really want to party after this is all over.

“Are we gonna have some sexy fun time with our manager or bandmate? How about both of them?!”

I smirk. “You neglect to state which bandmate you’re talking about. It could be a Mac for all I—”

“Augh! Why do you gotta kill the mood?!”

Chuckling, I move over to the fridge. Again, it’s adequately stocked with simple things that can be thrown together in minutes for a quick snack. Nothing highly filling, but enough to get us to our next destination. Eh, I’ve survived with far less for longer periods of time. We haven’t started moving yet, but I assume the final preparations are being dealt with.

“Geez, we haven’t even left yet and you’re already raiding the fridge?”

I glance over my shoulder. “Like you wouldn’t be doing the same thing, Lyra.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, good point.” She flops down on the couch and fires up the TV, flipping through channels.

“Hungry already?”

I slam the fridge door and turn around. “For the love of God, I’m not hungry! I just want to see what’s available!”

Spike snickers. “Relax, I’m just messing with you.”

Mac walks in. “What’s with the yelling?” He takes one look at me and where I’m standing, nods his head, and walks over to the window facing the train station, opening it up.

I point at Mac while looking at Spike. “See? He gets—”

“Pinkie, ya got any sweets stashed around here? Blake’s already raiding the fridge.”

“God dammit!” I yell, much to everyone else’s amusement. I swear that if I don’t do anything to them during this trip, it’ll be a miracle. I trudge over to another window and open it up, poking my head out. “Applejack! Your brother might be missing all his hair by the end of this trip!"

“Blake! I got a box of donuts right here!” Pinkie hands up a pink box wrapped up with a delicate red ribbon.

I just hang my head and sigh, holding my hands out for the box which she places in my hands. “Thank you, Pinkie. I’ll see you all when we get back.” I lean back inside and shut the window, ignoring the laughter of everyone else. I set the box on the bar and head right for the door to the sleeping quarters. “You guys are assholes.” I mumble out, stepping over Spike rolling around on the floor and gasping for breath.

After spending some time plotting my revenge… I mean, calming myself down, I head back to the living car and sit on the couch beside Lyra. Mac and Spike are nowhere to be seen, so I assume they’re in their rooms doing whatever. I can’t help but notice Lyra has the box of donuts on the floor by her hooves. “And you guys got on me for eating?”

“What? I’m not gonna let perfectly baked goods from Pinkie go to waste.”

I roll my eyes and reach down for one. “Missing the point there, but whatever.” I motion towards the TV. “Would ya mind throwing on something decent now?”

She turns to me. “Anything special?”

I pause for a second. “You guys got a comedy channel or something?”

Without even looking at the screen, she scrolls through the channels before stopping. Onscreen, a portly stallion in a Hawaiian print shirt is cracking a joke in a southwestern accent. “This work?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Is this all you do all day? You didn’t even look to find the channel.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, what else is there for me to do anyway?”

I could think of a few things, but decide to keep my mouth shut. “Whatever. Let’s just watch the show.”

The train wasn’t scheduled to arrive at Manehatten till early tomorrow morning, so I decided to call it an early night. After all, I wanna be prepped and ready to explore this city. Sure, I’ll probably be coming back to it eventually, but I’d rather enjoy what time I have now. As we pull into the station, I can’t help but glance out the window. “Uh… Guys? You may want to see this…”

Lyra walks over. “What’s going…? Oh.”

Surrounding the station is a sea of fans, waving signs proclaiming our names and creating so much volume that I can hear it from inside the train. Yeah… I think my plan of exploring the city just got harder.

Mac whistles. “That’s a lot of fans.”

“What is it? I can’t see anything!” I reach down and grab Spike, setting him on my shoulder so he can look out. His eyes go wide. “Wow.”

It then occurs to me that there shouldn’t be anyone at the station, other than our carriage and Vinyl. “Hey, how’d they know when we’d be arriving if we left early?”

We all look at each other. “Vinyl.”

I shake my head. “This was bound to happen sooner or later, so let’s just get it over with.”

The train lurches to a stop, and if anything, the crowd seems to go wild. From my position at the window, I see a carriage already waiting with a path straight to it lined with cops. Setting Spike back down on the ground, we all hustle back to our rooms to grab our stuff. I bend down to Sonja’s level, trying to sooth her. “Hey, hey. Just stick close to me, okay? You’re gonna be fine.”

Mac peeks his head into the room. “Ya ready?”

I nod my head and stand up, Sonja practically clinging to my leg. As we step out onto the station proper, I wave to the crowd while making my way to Vinyl. Her mouth moves, yet I can’t hear anything. She then points to the carriage. Getting the message, I follow behind everyone else, shaking the hands of fans along the way and snapping the occasional picture. Upon reaching the carriage, I hand my stuff off to our driver, who stacks it on a rack mounted on the top of the carriage.

Being the last to climb into the carriage, I wave one more time to the crowd before shutting the door. Immediately, silence befalls us. Vinyl knocks on the interior. “Soundproofing spell. Figured you guys would want it.”

I sit down beside Spike. “We probably wouldn’t if people didn’t know we were coming.”

She chuckles. “Are you kidding? I spread the word that you guys were coming today, and merchandise sales went through the roof!”

“Would’ve been nice for a warning though,” Mac says.

Vinyl does a rolling motion with her hand. “Eh, it doesn’t matter now. You guys got here, fans got to see ya, we made some extra money, so it’s all good.”

I shrug my shoulders and lean back into the seat. “So, what hotel we staying at?”

Vinyl smiles. “One of the best in town. Nothing less for you guys.”

We travel in silence for a bit till the carriage door flings open and the sounds of screaming fans hits us again. I really should have been expecting that. Looking out, I see it’s the same setup like the station. Crowd of fans, straight path to front door, and cops lining the path. And again, I go through the usual routine of being a celebrity. Once we’re all inside, the desk clerk hands Vinyl a key.

She dangles the key from its chain. “This here is the key to the celestial suite. Highest room they offer on a private floor.”

“Don’t just keep us waiting then! I wanna see this room!” Lyra says.

Vinyl smirks. “Trust me, it’s worth it.”

I glance behind me to the lobby doors. “What about our bags?”

The desk clerk decides to answer that. “Already taken care of, honey. They’ll be sent up shortly.” Ooh, that accent. It reminds me of a southern belle.

“Thank ya kindly, sweetie. Vinyl, lead the way.” With a nod, she heads over to the elevator and presses the up button. While we wait for the elevator, I look around at the lobby, mentally whistling at how elegant this place is. The entire building architecture reminds me of the art deco era, and the darker toned colors bring about a sense of quiet, refined peace.

A ding announces the arrival of the elevator, the doors sliding open. I’m somewhat surprised to see an elevator operator, but then again, some hotels still employ them to maintain the sense of posh and elegance. The operator, a cobalt mare wearing a black suit with little gold inlays, smiles at us. “Greetings everypony. What floor?”

We all step into the elevator. Vinyl holds up the key. “Celestial suite with all haste.”

The operator nods her head and pushes a button with an engraving of the sun on it. The doors slide shut, and with a jerk, we ascend. As we ride, I can’t help but notice the mare glancing over at us and fidgeting every so often. Hmm… “Ma’am? Is something wrong?”

She shakes her head. “Absolutely nothing, sir.”

Still not buying it. I glance over at Vinyl to see her slightly nodding her head. Ah, glad to see she sees it too. “Ma’am, if you’re a fan, there’s no trouble in asking for something.”

Thanks to the reflective surface of the elevator panel, I can see the mare bit her lip. “Well… I don’t want to bother you much…”

Lyra slaps the mare’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s all good. It’s no trouble for us, really.”

“…Could I please have your autograph—”

I smile. “Of course my—”

“Macintosh?”

“Hey, looks like the ladies want a piece of the apple over you!”

“Shut it, Agent. We all know Mac has eyes for Cheerilee only.”

“Have you heard of the word harem? Of course you have, or you wouldn’t be thinking it.”

Mac, being the ever gentleman, takes it in stride. “Eeyup.”

The mare’s hardened shell finally breaks down as all her excitement bursts out. She pulls Mac into a hug, utter gibberish sputtering from her mouth. Mac just gingerly pats her back till she calms down enough to grab a notepad from her suit pocket and hand it to him. Rather than just sign his name, he actually takes the time to write her a short message. Man, he can be one suave stallion.

As he hands her the notepad back, we arrive at our floor, which is a long hallway with a few doors evenly spaced along the wall except for the double doors at the far end. He winks at her before walking into hall, with us not far behind. Once the elevator doors close behind us, signaled by a ding, he glances over his shoulder at us. “See? That’s how you keep fans.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever. Vinyl, what room?”

She points down the hall to the double doors. Now that we’re closer, I can make out what looks like Celestia’s Cutie Mark engraved on them. “Best room in the house.” Once in front of the doors, she inserts a key into one of the locks, a click confirming they are now unlocked, before doing the same to the other. She glances over her shoulder. “You guys ever hear the term chasing the sun? Well,” She pushes the doors inward, “I think you caught it.”

“Holy shit…” I walk into the room in a trance like state. This… This is what I envisioned these types of rooms to be like. Massive amounts of space, luxurious furniture, a massive kitchen area, and giant glass doors leading out to a long balcony that overlooks a beautiful park nestled in the city. While everyone else explores the place, I head out to the balcony and lean on the railing, staring out across the city.

“Something on your mind?”

I glance over my shoulder at Vinyl. “Just taking in all this.”

She leans on the railing beside me, chuckling. “Yeah, it can be pretty overwhelming at first.”

I chuckle. “You know, I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for taking a chance on us all that time ago.”

“What’s there to say? I saw the potential in you guys, and I gave you a chance.”

“Nevertheless, we wouldn’t be here without you.”

She playfully punches my shoulder. “Alright, don’t get sappy on me now.”

I smirk. “Why? Can’t stand the sight of a big, strong man expressing emotions?”

She smirks. “No, I can’t. You see anypony like that around here?”

Now it’s my turn to punch her. “Alright, smartass, you’re the expert on these cities. What’s there to do around here?”

“Depends. What’re you in the mood for?”

That’s a good question. What do I want to do? My stomach growls, answering the question for me. “Food would be good right about now.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You’re in a city larger than Ponyville with a lot more variety. You’re gonna need to be more specific than that.”

I look down at the park. “Why don’t you decide while I take Sonja down to the park for a bit? I don’t care where, as long as I can eat the food there, preferably someplace with some meat options.”

“Sounds good, though it may not be as pleasant a trip as you think.”

I smirk. “Ye of little faith, I came prepared.” With that, I turn around and head for the door, Sonja hot on my heels after hearing me utter park. Once in the hallway, I pull out my disguise kit and scroll through my available disguises. Let’s see… Ah, Bon-Bon should be a decent disguise. Slipping the mask on, I calmly stroll down the hall. With my endless supply of disguises, I should be able to move around freely in the city without being caught. Time to see what Manehatten is made of.

What Lies Below

“Permanent Vacation”

What Lies Below

Manehatten was a wonderful city to explore and served as a nice change of pace from Canterlot and Ponyville. The sheer amount of things to see and do in the city was mind boggling. And as much as I wished we could stay longer, the tour must continue to the next stop, Fillydelphia. And it was very much like its Earthen counterpart. Granted, there wasn’t as much to do, but it still was nice to explore its museums and see some unique pieces of Equestrian history, like the treaty between the original pony tribes. Acting on a whim while there, I didn’t bother trying to disguise myself to the public. This actually seemed to work in our favor, since the public got to see all of us partaking in what the city had to offer. Don’t know what I was so worried about back in Manehatten.

We only had two days to spend in Fillydelphia before being whisked off to Canterlot with the combined fans in Cloudsdale showing up due to it being so close. Now, I was looking forward to this. I knew some of what Canterlot offered, but it helps to have people who’ve lived there guide you around, so I called in the big guns of Luna, Spike, Vinyl, and Lyra to show Mac and I a good time. And what a fun time it was.

After that was a trip to the next closest town, Baltimare. I’ve never been to Baltimore before, so I had no idea what to expect from its Equestrian counterpart. The town reminded me of an old colonial village near the sea, yet sprawled into a metropolis the further inland you went. And this place was a prime spot for seafood and meat, what with a fair amount of the population being griffons due to Griffonstone being across the sea to the east. During our very short stay here, I tended to stick to the outer reaches of the city, taking in the wondrous lifestyle of living on the shore. Nice change of pace from the giant cities or middle of nowhere towns… Not that I have anything against them.

Finally, our last stop on our tour was in a town way out west called Los Pegasus. And it was this weird combination of Los Angeles and Las Vegas. Like if someone looked at the lifestyle, architecture, and culture of Los Angeles, and then threw in a mixing of casinos and an intense nightlife. And of course I had to partake in some gambling, though I don’t think I’ll be betting on the lottery anytime soon if my luck is any indication of the future. We held our most extravagant show to date on the last day of our tour. That same night, we had boarded our train back to Ponyville, which was expected to arrive the next morning.

I jump up with a start, drenched in a cold sweat and my heart pounding. I look around, confirming that I am still in my room in our train car, the moonlight casting a pale glow around the room, the only other sound over my heavy breathing being the clickety clack of the train wheels as they roll along. I place a hand to my chest and take a few long, deep breaths. It was only a dream, nothing more. It was just a messy and muffled blur on shouting and crying, but it apparently troubled me enough. God, where’s Luna when I need her? I need some time to think, and maybe a drink or two to help calm my nerves. I ease out of bed, careful not to step on Sonja’s sleeping form on the floor. I tread out of my room and shut the door behind me before trudging down the hall to our dining car. Entering, I head straight to the bar and pour me a simple shot of vodka. I take a swig of it, the warmth hitting the back of my throat being somewhat soothing.

“It isn’t even four yet. What’s got you up so early?”

I sigh and stare at the shot glass in my hand, idly swirling the clear liquid inside. “I don’t know really. I just had this weird dream that I can’t begin to describe, yet something about it bothers me.”

“...To be honest, I got the same dream as you.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah. But I’m concerned about it, in the interest of honesty. Why wasn’t Luna there to stop whatever dream this was? It obviously caused us distress, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

I down the rest of the shot, setting the glass down in the sink. “I’m not sure. Maybe she was busy with someone else? We’re grown men, so we should be able to handle bad dreams without the help of some otherworldly princess to stop it.”

“I know, I know. I’m just concerned about it. Like, why this dream? Why does it bother us so? I can’t help but feel like we missed something. Just… Get some rest, ok? I’ll spend some time trying to piece it together.”

I sigh. “Thanks, Agent. Let me know what you find out.” I shuffle back to my room and crawl back into the bed, though I fear sleep may be elusive…

A couple hours later…

I do my damnedest to rub the tiredness from my eyes, yet it is a futile effort.

“Rough night’s sleep?”

I glance up from my cup of coffee at Mac. “What gave it away?”

He looks away. “Call it a hunch.”

“You have a bad dream last night?” Spike asks.

Hmm… Best to keep them in the dark right now. Don’t need them to worry about something that isn’t their problem. I shrug my shoulders. “You could say that, but I can’t remember a thing about it.” I take a long swig of my coffee, hoping some caffeine will jolt me awake.

Speaking of dream… “Agent, you got anything?”

“Almost. I’m running it through a couple more filters, but should have an answer soon.”

The door to the train car opens, and Lyra shuffles in. Compared to the way she looks right now, I must be wide awake. Her hair is a bedraggled mess, she’s got bags under her almost fully closed eyes, she’s stumbling, and to top it off, she’s still wearing the clothes she slept in, a loose fitting t-shirt that reaches down far enough to cover a generous portion of her lower body. I will admit, I raise an eyebrow at the sight of her. I’m curious what she’s got, if anything, underneath that shirt.

I glance at Spike and Mac, who do the same to me. I clear my throat. “So, uh… Morning, Lyra?”

She jumps a little, her eyes blinking open before settling on us sitting on the couch. “Oh, morning guys.”

“You uh... Want something to drink?” Mac asks.

She glances at the bar. “How long till we reach Ponyville?”

I stand up and walk over to the window. I open it up and lean out. In hindsight, probably a bad idea when you’re half tired. The rush of cold air blanketing my face instantly wakes me up. I stumble back inside, to the amusement of Spike and Mac. I blink my eyes a few times. “We’re coming up to it. I can see it on the horizon.”

Mac stands up and heads for the door. “Reckon we better start packing.”

I move to follow him, but stop at the door. “You two coming?”

Spike shakes his head. “Nope, already done. One of the perks of living with Twilight is that you learn to prepare.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Lyra, what about…” She’s already asleep on the couch. Eh, someone will wake her when we get there. Heading to my car, I smile and pet an energetic Sonja’s back. “Enjoy sleeping in girl?” She barks a few times. With a newfound spring in my step, I pack up my scattered mess of clothes that I didn’t bother stowing already and my guitar. With that done, I head back to the living car and lean on the bar counter, idly drumming my fingers.

“So, what’s your thoughts on the dream?”

“Nope, not saying anything till I have a definitive answer. Don’t want us getting our hopes up till we know all the facts.”

I sigh and look at Spike. “Going to enjoy being home?”

He holds out one hand. “I’m going to be home with all my stuff,” He holds out his other hand, “But Twilight’s probably got a backlog of experiments she wants to run that need my help.”

The train whistles, signaling our imminent arrival, and with it, back to our normal lives. There’s a slight lurch as the train begins slowing down, which is around the time that Mac walk back into the car. “Anypony gonna wake Lyra up?”

I motion towards her. “He who suggests it shall do it.”

He shrugs his shoulders as he walks over, gently grabbing her shoulder and shaking her. “Lyra, we’re here.”

With a snort, she jumps up, looking around before her eyes settle on the station sliding into view outside the window. “Oh… We’re here.” She looks down at herself. “I should change.” With that, she stumbles out of the car. The three of us look between each other and shrug our shoulders.

“Oh… You are not gonna like this…”

“What do you got? You got the dream fully pieced together?”

“Not quite, but it’s—”

The door to the train car is flung open, a wide eyed Derpy standing there. I notice Sonja’s ears go flat, the hair on her back going up. I tense up at the sight of both of them. Something is definitely wrong here. “Derpy, what’s going on?”

Her eyes settle on me. “Blake, they’re back!”

I glance at Spike and Mac, both looking at me with an eyebrow raised. I slowly lean forward, my one free hand sliding down towards my hip holster. “Who are they?” Please don’t say it, please don’t say it...

“Diamond Dogs!”

“Diamond Dogs.”

I whip out the Ambassador and quickly check to see it’s got a full clip. “Where?!”

“I’ll show you! Hurry up!”

I point at Mac. “Grab Lyra and get her somewhere safe.” I then point to Spike. “Spike, with me.” They both nod their heads, Mac running off towards the sleeping car while Spike rushes over to me. I grab him and toss him on my shoulder as I run out to the station and after Derpy’s already retreating form.

As we run, I notice a couple of ponies milling about, going about their daily lives like they’re not aware of the imminent danger. “Agent, give me what you know about that dream!”

“It looks like it was vision of events. As for what time period, I can’t say. All I can piece together was that it has something to do with Diamond Dogs.”

I swear under my breath. “Fuck! Prep yourself for a requisition order from the Elements then!”

“Already on it! What do you want?”

“Not sure till we see the size of their force. Just be ready to act!”

“I hope Twilight’s okay!”

“You and me both, Spike!”

As I run, I notice Derpy is leading us towards the town hall, more importantly, the square out back with the fountain and the bridge leading towards the rocky fields to the south and the Diamond Dog tunnels. Getting closer to it, I see a crowd has already formed. Derpy stops just at the edge of the crowd and points in. “In there.”

I set Spike on the ground, as a low growl escapes from Sonja. Some of the crowd steps aside, allowing me to walk into the circle that had formed. Two dogs, unarmed, stand there. I raise the Ambassador and switch between which one I’m targeting. “I thought I told you fuckers to leave the town alone.”

The one dog steps forward slightly, my aim snapping to him. “Human listen.” At least they got it through their thick skulls I’m a human.

I scoff. “Why should I? After what you did to the town last time, you’re lucky I didn’t put a bullet into your heads.” I fine tune my aim on the dog, now aiming towards his head. “What’s stopping me from killing you right here and now and letting this town get back to what qualifies as normal?”

The dog smirks. “Human won’t get ponies back.”

I tighten my grip on the Ambassador. “What’d you say?”

“We got ponies. Listen to dogs, get ponies. Don’t listen, ponies die.”

I’m calling his bluff. I chuckle. “You got no proof.” I quickly glance at the crowd I can see. Where are the Elements at? This seems like the sort of thing Twilight would be informed of. Wait a moment… Why’d Derpy come get me? Shouldn’t Rainbow have gotten me? After all, she’s the fastest.

“Agent… Can you tell me if the Elements are in the crowd somewhere?”

“Umm… I hate to break it to ya…”

The other dog smirks, reaching into a pouch on his side. My aim shifts to him. “Boss thought human say that.” I gulp. Please don’t let it be true. The dog tosses out a clump of straight blond hair, then a curly pink, then a curly purple. One by one, a clump of each of the Elements hair. Sonja sniffs the air, then whimpers slightly.

My breath catches in my throat. Okay, not to worry. Only the six most important ponies in the land have been captured by a force of unknown size and taken captive. I can still do this, though the odds may not be in my favor this time. But the dog doesn’t stop there. He tosses out another clump, this time a clump of amaranth hair, then another clump of gray mulberry and grey rose hair, and finally, a clump of cerise hair. No…

“Human want ponies—” The dog doesn’t get to finish speaking as the round from the Ambassador enters his head. Before that dog even hits the ground, I tackle the other dog to the ground and wrap my hands around his throat.

I bang his head against the ground. “Where are they?!” Again, I slam his head on the ground, along with putting some more pressure on his throat. “Tell me or I’ll fucking kill you right now!”

His breath comes out in short, ragged gasps. “Rock… Fields… Come… Alone.”

“Let him go now.”

“Too bad, I’m killing him.” I slowly put more pressure on his throat, watching as his eyes bulge and his body starts to spasm. “I want my face to be the last thing he sees in his pathetic, wretched life.”

“How will they know we got the message if no one reports back?”

I take a deep breath before releasing my hold on him, stepping back before he can retaliate. I grab the Ambassador from where I dropped it on the ground and slowly point it at him. “Get up.” The dog slowly gets up off the ground, rubbing his throat. “Tell your boss I’ll be there before the day ends. And I swear to God, if anything happens to them between now and then…” Without a word, the dog starts digging a hole under him at speeds that I didn’t think possible. Once he’s dug down enough and the hole gets backfilled with dirt, I slowly hostler the Ambassador. What am I gonna do? This is obviously a trap.

“Blake?” I glance at the owner of the hand currently resting on my shoulder. The mayor gently pats my shoulder. “What do we do now?”

I turn my gaze back to the clumps of hair on the ground. Slowly, the beginning of a plan starts forming. “We need everyone in town to get to city hall for a meeting.”

“Right away.”

I drown out the noise of the crowd as the mayor orders the town into action. I bend down and pick up a few of the hair clumps. Sonja walks over and sniff the clumps, whimpering as she paws at Scootaloo’s hair. I rub the back of her head. It’s one thing to bring full grown adults into this, but children are a different story.

“If you really plan on doing this, we’re gonna need a lot more firepower.”

“I think it’s time we went commando.”

I squeeze the clumps in my hand tighter, closing my eyes in an effort to fight the tears. Don’t worry girls, I’ll get you out. And so help me if they did something to you.

The back of the town hall served as a meeting hall, and is easily large enough to hold the entire population of the town. As word spreads around town, people slowly trickle in before going to a steady stream. Meanwhile, I’m at the podium on the stage carefully polishing my latest armaments, leaning each one on the sides of the podium.

“I don’t trust these dogs to not spy on us. Got any way to track them?”

“It just so happens I’ve been working on a variation of a tracking spell to search for any species or person in the general vicinity. Granted, it hasn’t been tested yet.”

“Test it now. Don’t want these bastards knowing the plan.”

“Blake? Everypony’s here.”

I glance in the mayor’s direction and nod my head. Once she takes a seat, I sigh and tap the microphone in front of me. Getting some feedback, I start. “For those of you who don’t know, Diamond Dogs came back to Ponyville today.” Most of the crowd fidget in their seats, the events of last time probably still on their minds. “And this time, they came with a message. The Elements of Harmony and the Cutie Mark Crusaders have been taken,” I close my eyes and tighten my grip on the podium edges, “My daughter, Scootaloo, being among them.”

With the crowd being silent, I open my eyes and continue. “The price for their freedom and their lives? Me. They want me to come alone to the rock fields and give myself up. But that isn’t going to happen.” The crowd mummers amongst itself. “I’m going to go in, free them, and make these dogs suffer. Not just for this, but for the last time as well, when I should have taken care of them in the first place.” I sigh and hang my head. “But I can’t do it alone.”

“Right now, I have a plan to get them out safely. But it requires the help of a unicorn and a pegasus. It pains me to ask this, to even think about it, but I have no choice. Who among you is willing to stand with me and free those who can’t free themselves? To not only take revenge for last time, but to stand up and say no more? To show these dogs that we are not a town that will take this lying down? Not only the dogs, nay, the whole world, that you are someone not to be messed with?! That no matter what happens, you’ll stand strong in the face of adversity!”

I notice some of the crowd glancing amongst themselves, but no one makes a move to join me. Damn, really thought my rousing rallying cry would have made them a bit more pumped up to join. I sigh, almost ready to give up on them helping, when someone says, “I’ll help.”

My eyes go wide as I look out through the crowd. “Who said that?” A lone mare stands up near the back. I’d know that hat and cape anywhere. “Trixie?”

She walks out from her seat to stand in the center aisle, all eyes on her. “The one and only.”

I raise an eyebrow. “What’re you doing here?”

“Trixie… I just got back into Ponyville today for another performance when this happened.” She starts walking down the center aisle.

“Why help? You have no stake in this fight. You don’t even live here.”

“True, but I’d like to help the one who helped me. Call it returning the favor, if you will.”

I hold my hand out to her. She grabs it and I pull her up onto the stage. “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? You’ll have to possibly take a life, and be in great danger.”

She smirks. “I’m no stranger to combat. You’d be surprised how many ponies wish to ambush me when traveling, but none are prepared for my powerful feats of magic.”

I smile and pull her into a hug. “Thank you. Thank you so very much.” I step back from the hug and put my hands on her shoulders. “What weapon do you want to use?” I motion to the weapons propped up.

She glances at them. “I’ll stick with my bow and arrows. I’m a pretty competent archer.”

“Noted. Now,” I turn back to the crowd, “I still need a pegasi to help out. Anyone?” This time, one very special gray pegasus flies up and out of her seat to land beside me. I glance at Derpy. “And this mare has decided to answer my call to arms.” For the first time today, the crowd actually responds. Not with cheering, but with cries of protest and insults.

“Do you want the Elements, Crusaders, and your daughter to die?!”

“You’re giving her a weapon?! She’s more likely to harm you!”

“That klutz?! She’ll get you all hurt, or worse!”

“She can’t even see straight! What makes you even think she can fight?!”

I turn to Derpy. She stands there, fists clenched and breathing deeply, the only indication that she’s being hurt by their words being the tears slowly falling from the corners of her eyes. But through it all, she doesn’t turn and run away or break down on the spot. No, she stands strong.

Enough of this. I turn back to the podium and scream. The crowd stops, all eyes on me. “You can all shut the fuck up! Look at these two mares right here?! These two, who are risking their lives for the sake of others, and you all want to insult, belittle, and complain about one of them?! Hell, Trixie isn’t even from Ponyville and yet she volunteered! And Derpy may act different and be klutzy at times, but so what?! I don’t see any of you risking your fucking necks!” I sweep my glare over the crowd, some ponies refusing to look at me. “These two are showing great bravery and strength just by standing up here! So I don’t care what you think, or what you say, because I will gladly stand with these two any day of the week over you assholes! Now get the fuck out of my sight and go back to living your selfish, worthless lives!” The crowd rushes out the doors, leaving just Trixie, Derpy, and I alone.

I take a few deep breaths, along with rubbing Sonja’s back, to calm my nerves before looking at Derpy. Without a word, she steps up and hugs me. “Do you really think we’re brave?”

“Of course. You two both stood up and offered to help, even though you didn’t. This is going to be dangerous, and that didn’t stop you.” I cup Derpy’s chin and lift her head so she’s looking into my eyes. “And even though they said hurtful things about you, you stood strong. You didn’t run, you didn’t cry, you stood taller. And that, my dear friend, speaks volumes.” I glance at Trixie. “The same goes for you, Trixie.”

“While I appreciate that, we should get to work on freeing these ponies.”

Derpy steps back and wipes her eyes. “Of course. What’s the plan?”

I point to Derpy. “First off, I need an aerial recon of those rock fields. Size and placement of their forces, weaponry, location of hostages, vantage points, and anything else you spot. Stay high and use the clouds for cover. Once you get enough intel, get back here as soon as possible.”

She salutes. “You can count on me.” She then heads out the doors, taking flight even before they shut behind her.

“And what shall I be doing while we wait?”

I turn to Trixie, motioning to the hay bales with targets painted on that I had the mayor set up at the very back of the stage for us to practice our aim on. “Show me what you can do with that bow of yours.”

She flips her hair with her hand. “As you wish. Prepare to be amazed!” She holds a hand out as her horn glows, her bow instantly appearing in it. This isn’t any standard issue recurve bow, not by a longshot. The entire thing looks to be designed in a night sky pattern, with the upper and lower limb tips forming into a five pointed star, the same one on her cutie mark. In her other hand, a quiver appears. Again, it has the night sky motif, but I notice that the pattern of stars on it matches her cutie mark. Taking a second look at the bow, I notice a couple of constellations traceable in the stars. “Like it?”

I blink my eyes a couple of times. “Truly, it’s a work of art.”

She smirks. “Any normal old bow wouldn’t do for a mare such as I. This handcrafted, elegant weapon was a gift from a fan when I had first started performing, and it’s been with me ever since. I call it the Nocturnal Wayfarer.”

I glance at the quiver as she slings it across her back. “Alright, show me what you can do.”

She turns her back to me. With one hand, she reaches back and grabs three arrows, nocking them. She draws the bowstring back and takes aim, keeping the bow held sideways. I notice the arrows glint blue before she releases. Straight and true, they land perfect bullseyes. She glances over her shoulder. “Have you seen anypony else do better than I?”

“Hot damn.”

“I think we just found ourselves the pony version of Hawkeye.”

I slowly clap my hands and nod my head. “No, I can’t say that I have.”

“But Trixie—” My glare stops her. She’s slipping back into the third person again far too many times for my liking. “I assume you wanted a unicorn for magical purposes?”

I smirk. “Yes. How good’s your teleportation and shield creation spells?”

While Trixie practiced her spellwork, I practiced my aim on the haybales. I’m finishing off a clip when I hear the doors open. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Derpy walking in. “What are we up against, Derpy?”

Trixie, having took a short break a while ago to examine my weapons, carefully sets the sniper rifle down on the podium. “Yes, how many Dogs are going to be witness to their downfall at the hands of me?”

She glances between us. “Guys, we got a lot of trouble in those fields.”

I sigh. “I figured as much. Alright, lay it on us.”

A short time later…

After running through the plan, adjusting it after Derpy’s intel, suiting up, and me giving Derpy a crash course in firearm operation (And the assurance from Agent that she’d have that weird ability to have ammo appear whenever), we leave city hall to be meet with a flurry of activity from the townsfolk, swiftly erecting barricades and the like around the town hall. The mayor, Spike, and Mac stand outside the door. I raise an eyebrow. “What’s this now?”

Spike steps forward. “Blake, we’re helping too, even if you don’t want us to.”

The mayor nods her head. “That’s right. We may not be going into battle like you three, but we still want to do our part. Like you said, this is our town, and we need to fight for all its citizens. We’re stronger than these dogs know. And if that means preparing the city for a lockdown, then so be it.”

“Looks like your little speech worked.”

“Or maybe the fact that I belittled them and called them cowards, in a roundabout sense.”

I nod my head. “Thank you, and good work so far.” I point to Spike. “Spike, you’re on lookout for now. Find a high point and keep watch towards the rock fields. Once the girls are safely in town with us, get a message to Celestia and Luna. Have them mobilize the guard and get down here pronto to help defend.”

“On it.” He scampers off to find his vantage point.

“Mac, mayor, keep doing what you’re doing. We need to be ready for the retaliation attack they likely have planned.” Mac whistles and motions towards the town hall, those that heard him break off from their work to head inside with both of them.

Sonja whimpers and nuzzles up against my leg. I bend down and rub her head. “Hey, it’s alright. I’ll be back later and we can go for a nice walk then. Go protect Spike for me while I’m gone, okay?” She licks my face before running off.

I turn to Trixie and Derpy. “Ready to do this?”

Derpy rolls her neck and hefts the assault rifle she chose up so it’s resting over her shoulder. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Hah! Trixie was ready the day she was born!”

I grin. “Then it’s time we give a dog a bone, as they say.”

I walk alone towards the rock fields, following the directions Derpy gave me. Like before, green fields give way to rock fields, though the dull color of the ground may soon be painted a far brighter color after I’m done here. Two dogs emerge from behind a large rock, both pointing spears in my direction. I slowly raise my hands up, prompting the dogs to cautiously step forward.

“Human surrender?” I nod my head. “Then follow dog.” One dog takes the lead, and I fall in step behind him, while I hear the other dog move into position behind me. I can’t see it, but I assume the spear is pointing dangerously close to my back. I keep my arms raised as we walk through the fields some more. They must be pretty confident, or stupid, to not search me. Not like they’d be able to find the slim, rectangular device strapped to my inner thigh. That little thing is packing everything I could gather from the elements, but at the cost of me spending all their energy and forgoing capacity for sheer firepower.

Off in the distance, I spot a massive gathering of dogs. As we near, the lead dog howls, prompting every other dog to howl and drown out all other noise. Once they quiet down, the lead dog steps off to the side. Taking that as my que, I step out into the open. My eyes are drawn to the girls directly across from me, all sitting in a circle with their arms and legs tied up. They stay quiet, most likely due to them being threatened. My eyes start scanning for potential cover points (Pretty decent amount of large rocks, though interspaced that I’d have to run across open field), hostile locations and weapons (Based on what I can see, it looks like they’re doing a pincer movement to make it so I’d have to run backwards, and most of them are carrying bows and arrows), and my real target.

As if on cue, a group of dogs stand aside to allow Rover, now missing his right leg, to hobble out using what looks like a rock cane. A few of the dogs stay close to him though, just for good measure. I chuckle. It’s still a good distance between us, so I have to raise my voice just so they can hear me. “Hey there old buddy. How’s that leg treating ya?” I gasp. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

He snarls. “Human learn its place soon.”

I slowly lower my hands and set them at my side, causing most of the dogs to raise their weapons. “Yeah, fine. Let’s get this over with, the girls walk away, and you take me for whatever you want to do.”

Rover steps back towards his dogs. “Human come with me, Ponies go free.”

I shake my head. “Allow me to make a counter offer.”

“Human come now or--!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Fine, miss out on the ability to get thousands upon thousands of gems per minute.” I catch a couple of the dogs slowly lower their weapons and glance amongst themselves. Perfect, the bone has been thrown.

Rover eyes me. “Human find gems?”

“In fact, yes. Using this,” I motion to the square-ish device with multiple dials and three lenses attached to a metal track sitting on my shoulder, “I can track and harvest gems anywhere in the known world, as long as I am still living and breathing.”

The dogs eye Rover, waiting for his order. One of his guards leans in close and whispers something to him. Rover nods his head. “Human show us, then ponies free!”

I grab the device and slide it off its track so it rests in my hand. “Observe!” I bring the device close to my face, making a show of looking into one of the lenses. I then start walking around, catching the dogs quickly raising their weapons. “Hey! You want these gems, I gotta find them! Kill me and you get nothing!”

“Lower weapons!” The dogs obey Rover’s order, yet I still see them tensed up. I wander around a bit more, swiftly glancing up at times to watch as a cloud slowly drifts over the dogs. Once it stops moving, I slowly make my way over to the girls, still making a show fiddling with the device. “Human stay away from ponies!”

I glance at Rover. “You want your gems or not?! I’m reading a massive deposit right in the center of them!”

“Fine! Guard human!”

I glance over my shoulder at the two dogs that brought me here again flank me. With a shrug of my shoulders, I keep moving. Now that I stand beside them, I look at Rover. “This thing is pretty big, so I would like for the ponies to lie down on the ground. Is this okay?” Rover nods, so I turn my attention back to the girls. “You heard me, on the ground.”

Once they’re down, I glance around at all the faces watching me. I adjust my grip on the device so I holding the top of it while I raise my other hand up and hold up three fingers. I countdown, putting a finger down for each second. Reaching one, I exhale and release my grip on the device. “You fellas wanna meet my girlfriend?” I close my hand into a fist.

And all hell breaks loose.

I spin around, my Baby Maker submachine gun digistructing in my hand and putting down the two dogs closest to me. I spin back around just as the device hits the ground, unfolding into a Sabre turret with two rocket pods on its top and generating a shield. The turret takes aim at the nearest dogs and starts unloading a barrage of bullets and rockets. I grab another turret that spawned on my shoulder and toss it beside me. “Sentry gun primed!”

As the turret unfolds, Trixie teleports into its protective shield and starts unleashing a barrage of arrows at the dogs. “Prepare to taste death at the hands of Trixie!” Derpy stands up on her cloud, unleashing a rain of bullets from the Veruc onto the unsuspecting dogs below, always staying on the move so the dogs can’t get a bead on her.

With only thirty seconds before the turrets need to cooldown, I get to work on freeing the girls. I start with the closest one, Applejack. I cut through her bindings with my knife. “Get everyone free!” She nods her head and we quickly free everyone else. I start firing at any dog that’s visible, tossing the gun towards them once the clip is empty as another gun digistructs in my hands.

“Now what do we do?!” Pinkie says.

“We’re getting you out of here, that’s what! Trixie, ten seconds!”

Trixie slings her bow over her shoulder. “Gather round me, for I shall protect you!”

I jerk my shoulders towards her, then toss my last Baby Maker out. “Go! She’ll protect you!” The girls scramble around her, and just in time too as the turrets start to digistruct themselves down. Trixie’s horn glows, creating a pale magenta shield that’s large enough to enclose all of us. She winces as arrows start pinging off the shield.

Derpy lands just outside the shield, and Trixie creates an opening just small enough to let her in. She jerks her thumb behind her. “We should get out of here! Like, now!”

I look over my shoulder at the girls. “You’re right, you should.” I hold my hand out, the next weapon to digistruct in my hands being the Conference Call. “Trixie, Derpy, get everyone back to town.” I cock the shotgun once.

“What about you?!”

I turn to Twilight, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll cover your retreat, and then be along shortly.”

“Do you see how many dogs are out there?! You won’t make it!” Rainbow points at the dogs, some slowly advancing towards us.

I smirk. “Never tell me the odds. Trixie, let me out.”

“But—”

I glare at her. “That’s an order.” She locks my eyes, and then nods her head. I sweep my gaze over everyone present. I smile, even though I know it’s hollow. “Relax. I’ll be right behind you all.”

“This is a bloody suicide mission!”

“Then don’t let it turn into one.”

“There’s no talking you out of this, is there?”

“I hate it as much as you do, bud, but it needs done.”

I turn my back to everyone, not wanting to meet their gaze anymore. I exhale and raise the shotgun. “Do it.”

Trixie creates an opening for me, and I rush out firing wildly at the dogs as the bullets bounce and ricochet off of whatever they hit. An arrow embeds itself into my shoulder, and I howl with pain and stagger back. Looking up, I see the girls already retreating back towards the safety of town. With a snarl, I reorient myself and keep up my barrage of bullets as I run towards the nearest rock for cover. As I near it, another arrow lodges itself into my left ankle, causing me to stumble and fall on the ground. I bite my lip and fight back the tears as I drag myself behind the rock.

I lean out and fire off a few more rounds. I glance back to where I last saw the girls and see nothing. I smile. Trixie and Derpy are doing exactly as I’d planned. I knew they’d make me proud. I scream out and bang my hand against the rock as a sharp pain rips through my right leg. Through teary eyes, I grab the shaft of the arrow lodged in my right thigh and snap it off. The places where I got hit are already soaked in warm blood, and by the feel of things, likely to keep bleeding at this pace.

I glance to my left as a clear gem lands beside me. “What now? Have they run out of arrows and resorted to using gems?”

The gem pulses red before fading back to clear. “Judging by how they’re still shooting arrows, I don’t think so.”

“Then what the hell is—” The gem pulses again, only this time it fades back to clear faster before pulsing again... Repeatedly. The barest idea of what this gem is crosses my mind. “Oh holy fuck!”

“Get down, get down!”

I scramble away from the gem, starting to dive just as it explodes. What feels like millions of hot shards shred the back of my body as I go flying through the air, landing facedown with a sickening crunch. I slowly push myself, fighting through the pain and dull ringing in my ears. I look behind me to see a crater and a good portion of the rock blown apart. My senses start to come back to me, and I’m in immeasurable pain. Pretty sure that landing broke a couple of ribs. I scream as an arrow impales itself into my hand.

With my free hand, I throw down another sentry in front of me, and lazily toss the other one over my shoulder. I try moving my impaled hand, but it won’t budge. I snap off the shaft of the arrow, and while biting my lip, slowly pull my hand free of the arrow. With a cry, I pull it free and look at the newfound hole in my hand. I run it through a quick series of movements and decide that I still have full use of it, even though it sends a wave of pain through me each time.

“We should go now! The girls are back in town!”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?! We need to get out of here, seek medical help! You’re already losing far too much blood!”

“Then the line is drawn here. I will not back down from this point and put the town in danger. I’ve failed these girls twice now. I will not fail them again.”

“God dammit! Just stay alive then!”

I cough up some blood while struggling to stand up. “You fuckers want to play that game?!” I give the mental command for my grenades, feeling the cold steel land in my hand. “Eat this!” I toss it towards the dogs. It hovers in midair slightly before giving a slight pop and flying towards the nearest dog, leaving a small trail of fire behind it. I toss the other three grenades towards different groups of dogs, wanting to get as much coverage as possible, before pulling out the ultimate weapon in crowd control, Nukem.

The first grenade has reached a dog at this point, where it promptly touches the dog and drops to the ground, disappearing in a little burst of fire. Large pillars of flame shoot up from the ground in a large radius around where the grenade landed, roasting any dog unfortunate enough to be caught. To those that survive each grenade, I fire a rocket from the Nukem at them, the immense explosion radius catching a lot of the dogs in it. It’s at this point that I hear a horn. The dogs start turning tail and running, some even digging right into the ground to escape. I tap the back of the closest turret, both of them digistructing down. I limp forward, watching as the dogs retreat to safety.

An arrow lodges itself into my chest, and I fall to my hands and knees with one hand clutched around the offending arrow. I look up to see Rover with his back propped up on a rock and holding a bow. I slowly push myself up so I’m on my knees, and send the command for the last weapon in my inventory, the Elephant Gun. With one hand and fighting to focus through the dizziness, I point it in the general direction of Rover and pull the trigger. His body jerks once as a splatter of blood coats the rock behind him before going limp. The gun clatters to the ground as I let it drop from my hand. Shaking, I slowly raise my hand and flip Rovers corpse the finger.

I can’t keep it up. I fall backwards and hit the ground, writhing in pain from the damage still caused to my back, before staring up at the sky as everything sways. I cough up some more blood as my breath comes out short and ragged. But through it all, I smile. There’s a whimper and something lays down beside me on my right. I glance over at Sonja. “Hey girl. Come to see me off?” I slowly raise my hand and place it on her back, making small circles as I rub. Up above, I spot a group of royal guards flying overhead towards the retreating dogs.

“I found him, over here!”

Through my haze, I can still make out the eight worried faces around me. “You shouldn’t be here. It’s safer back in town.”

“Blake…” Rarity, in an action mimicked by everyone else, struggles to hold back tears.

“No tears now, just doing my job.” I cough up some blood and glance down at myself. “Sadly, I don’t think I’ll be coming back to town with you.”

“Don’t you talk like that! We’ll get you medical attention and then—”

I frown. “Face the facts, Twilight. I’ve already lost far too much blood for me to survive.”

“But there’s gotta be something, anything, we can do!”

I smile. “How about you all just listen then?” At their silence, I continue. “When I first came here, I had nothing and no one. But you all accepted me so easily and readily, gave me a new life and purpose to fulfill. Each and every one of you has been a blessing to me, and I cannot say thank you enough.” I pause to draw some more breath. “I know in my heart that I could never repay you, but it won’t stop me from trying.” Everything becomes hazier. “Oh, not much longer now.”

“Dad!” Scootaloo kneels down beside my head, taking my limp hand and grasping it as tear flow freely down her face.

I turn to her and smile. “Hey, Scoots, you finally called me dad.”

She squeezes my hand, but it barely registers in my mind. “Of course I’m gonna call you dad! You gave me a home and family when nopony else would! You treat me like a dad should! And you care about me like a dad should! And I’m not losing you now because of some stupid… Fucking dogs!”

I fight back the tears in my eyes now. “Scoots, the joy on your face each and every day, the excitement in your voice when retelling your crusading stories, the serene smile on your face as you sleep… It brings peace to me knowing I’m giving you all that. But I sadly won’t be around to see all that anymore.”

“Don’t you talk like that! Please stay alive! Please!”

I frown. “Please don’t make this any harder than it is, Scoots. Know that I will always be proud of you, no matter what you do in life. Keep strong, and one day you too will fly and soar above the heads of everyone else.” I turn my head towards Rainbow, wanting to take care of one last thing. “In the presence of everyone here, I hereby appoint Rainbow Dash as legal guardian and protector of Scootaloo. Make me proud, Rainbow.”

“You… I won’t fail you.”

I smile. “I know you won’t.” I look up towards the open sky again and chuckle. “It really is funny what they say. It’s hard to say goodbye… When you know that it’s over.” I go limp as darkness surrounds me, for what is to be, the last time.

Author's Note

Never meant to leave this world alone
I never meant to hurt the ones who cared
And all this time I thought we'd just grow old
You know, no one said it's fair

Tell my baby girl that it's alright
I've sung my last song today
Remind the Lord to leave his light on for me
I'm free

Dawn Breaks

Author's Note

Hey everyone. Sorry this took so long. Let's just say I had conflicting feelings about if I should continue the story or not. Read about it in the blog post here. However, I feel I have come to a compromise. From here on out, I'm letting you guys create your own headcanon as to what happened to Blake and how you view this story.

Think Blake should have died on the field in a final heroic display? Then view the last chapter as just that, the ending. You don't want to read the rest of the story, that's your choice. Thank you for being with me this long.

Want to believe Blake died, but still want to read the rest of the story? Then consider this and every chapter to come as a what if scenario. As in, what if Blake didn't die on the field? What then?

Think Blake didn't die, and he lived? Well then, view the story like you always have.

Think what you will. I'm not gonna force or try to change your thoughts based on what I think should happen. Simply put, this is how I intend to continue the story. Please respect my wishes to do so. And a big thank you to everyone who has stuck around with me on this story.:pinkiehappy:

Now, enough talk. Back to your regularly scheduled reading.

Dawn Breaks

“Permanent Vacation”

Dawn Breaks

“We shouldn’t do this.”

“We have no choice.”

“But will he—?”

“Uncertain.”

“What if—?”

“A risk we must take.”

“…Forgive us.”

Dull… A dull and muffled rhythmic pulse is all I hear. If I’d have to describe it, it would be similar to ones own heartbeat. The dull pulse gradually starts to come in clearer, being replaced with a steady beeping sound. My eyes slowly open to the harsh and pristine whiteness of everything. I lay still, giving my eyes time to adjust, though my thoughts are still hazy.

I roll my head to the left, seeing some sort of machine there. Its green screen shows a pulsing line and multiple wires run out of it. God, what’s this thing called again… Ugh, it hurts to think. My eyes drift over to a tall pole with a clear bag and a long tube hanging from it. There’s something written on the bag. I squint my eyes, forcing it to come into focus. IV… Come on, Blake, fight the pain. IV… IV… What’s it mean again? I roll my head back, resting it on whatever I’m on.

Forcing my head up a bit, I glance at the white sheet covering me. Laying my head back down, I try to focus through the haze in my head. Ugh… What happened? I remember a rock field and… Diamond Dogs. That’s right. Everything’s coming back now. I got back to Ponyville, found out the Diamond Dogs kidnapped the Crusaders and Elements, went out to rescue them, stayed behind to cover their retreat, and… And… Bled out in the fields with the girls watching. I look at the machine again. No, the dead don’t get heartbeat monitors. But then… How’d I survive? I should have died in the fields… I should have died doing my job.

I look up at the ceiling. Could I have survived? Or is this just what Heaven is, a telling of a story of what your life could have been? But if this is Heaven, then why am I in a hospital and not fully healed and walking up to the pearly gates. Whatever the case, I should at least figure out where I am. I try to push myself up, only to grimace at the pain shooting through my left shoulder. I go limp again, staring up at the ceiling. Right, right, took an arrow there. Well, looks like this is gonna be harder than I thought. There’s gotta be something to help prop me up. I turn my head to the right, and stare.

Sitting in a chair by a window, is Fluttershy. The curtain for the window is pulled across, yet enough sunlight seeps through to fall across her sleeping form. Her hair is a disheveled mess, and the area around her eyes is red and swollen. Why… Why is she here? And how long has she been here? I slowly raise my right arm out from under the sheet and reach towards her. “Shy…” I rasp out, the dryness of my throat now registering in my mind. She doesn’t respond. “Shy…” I try again, straining my voice to be louder.

She stirs slightly, and her eyes flutter open. “B-Blake?” She sees my outstretched hand. “Blake!” She jumps up off the chair and is by my side in an instant. “Blake, you’re alive! Oh, I’ve got to get the girls!”

My eyes widen. She turns to go, but I grab her arm. She stops and looks back at me. “Don’t… Go…” She can’t leave, she just can’t! If she does, she might just disappear from this dream, or if this real, right out of my life, and I can’t face that! The beeping of the heartbeat monitor picks up in tempo. She nods her head, and I release the breath I realize I’ve been holding. I let her go and she pulls the chair to the bedside, staying within my sight. “Water…”

“Okay, but let’s prop you up first.” She goes over to my left side and reaches under my arm. “I’m sorry, but this is going to hurt. Ready?” I nod my head. As she eases me up from my left, I struggle to push myself up using my right arm. I hiss out in pain, but keep going till I’m almost vertical. She lets me go once I steady myself, and then I hear her messing with something on the bed. “Okay, lean back slowly now.” I do as she says, leaning back into the bed so that I’m now propped up.

“Water…” I rasp out. I’m gonna need if I’m gonna be talking soon. Fluttershy raises a plastic cup to my lips, and I take slow, deliberate sips, the ache in my throat dulling. I drink my fill, and she moves the cup away. I relax and stare up at the ceiling. Okay, time to come to terms with this. This all feels too real for it to not be a dream. But again, I have to beg the question of how? How did I survive? I hear Fluttershy sniffle. I turn my head towards her, and see she’s lightly sobbing into her hands. I reach out and set my hand on her lap. “What’s wrong, Shy?”

She shudders a bit. “You,” She chokes out after some time.

“Me?”

She pulls her hands away from her eyes and looks at me. “Yes, you. Look at what happened to you! You almost died saving us! And all because we we’re in danger! It was like watching one of my animal friends die in front of me all over again! All because I couldn't do anything to save you!”

I lightly squeeze her hand. “Hey, hey. No tears now. I did what needed to be done. I’d do anything for you girls, and no force in the world will stop me.” I sigh and close my eyes. “If anything, I should apologize.”

I feel her hand squeeze mine. “For what? It’s not your fault this happened.”

Good, she doesn’t need to blame herself for any of this. “For not being there for you all. I should never have left you alone like that. I’ve done a terrible job of being there for you girls, twice now.”

“But you still came. That’s what matters.”

I open my eyes and look at her. “I came because I wanted to, but I should never have needed to in the first place. If I was in Ponyville when you girls got taken, I might have been able to stop the dogs. Instead, I was off gallivanting about without a thought to your safety.”

“But it’s not your job to save us.”

I sigh. “It’s not my job, but I can’t lose the ones I call my family.”

She smiles slightly. “And we can’t bear to lose our family either.”

I return her smile and let her hand go. I look down at myself. “Man, I must be a wreak. How long was I out for?”

“Umm… About a week now…”

I turn to look at her, an eyebrow raised. “A week? Have you been here the entire time?” She nods her head. “Shy…” Words can’t express how I feel right now. “What about your animals? Don’t you need to take care of them? And what about everyone else?”

“Oh, the girls have been taking care of them and visiting you regularly, even bringing you gifts.” She motions towards the end of the bed. I look, and now notice the balloons tied to the end of the bed, various forms of well wishes inscribed on them. One of them even has a frowning pink pony on it.

I chuckle hoarsely before coughing a bit. Fluttershy starts to move, but I wave her off. “I’m fine, really. Oh, leave it to Pinkie to brighten my mood.” I sigh before looking back at Fluttershy. “And… Scootaloo?”

She looks towards the balloons. “…She’s been taking it hard. She visits you every day, telling you stories and talking about what happened that day. And she keeps mumbling something to you, but I couldn’t hear it very well.”

Not the words I wanted to hear. It pains me to put her through all this, but it’s not like I expected to see everyone again. I smile though. “Whatever is was, I’m sure it was something tough and brave.” I sit there in silence before asking the question I’ve wanted to know. “So… How did I survive, and where are we?”

“Um… After you blacked out, the Princesses came and cast a spell on you. I’m sorry I don’t know much about the spell, but all I understood was something about lock and stasis.”

“I think I know. It was a stasis spell that locked me into my current state. I wouldn’t get any better, but not any worse. Continue.”

“Well, after that, they brought you to Canterlot Castle in its medical wing to stabilize you, which is where we are right now.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Why not the Ponyville Hospital? Surely that was closer than Canterlot.”

She fidgets in her seat and looks at the floor. “I tried to bring that up, but nopony heard me. I would have thought being closer to town would make it easier for everypony to see you.”

Yes, but how many would have actually wanted to see me is the question. “I would have liked that very much, but what matters right now is that I’m breathing again. Speaking of that, how? I should be dead with the amount of blood I lost.”

“Um… About that…” She keeps glancing between the floor and me.

“Shy, go on. Whatever it is, I can take it.”

She sighs and looks at me. “Since you’re the only being of your kind here, we didn’t have any human blood to transfuse. We had to make do with the best match we could find in such short notice.”

My eyes widen. “And that was…?”

“They ran all the tests, and didn’t see any problems, and you’ve been stable since, and we—”

I grab her arm, partly out of fear and partly out of keeping her from hyperventilating. “Shy, whose blood do I got?”

She takes a deep breath and releases it. “Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack.”

Blood from three different donors. Blood that is from an entirely different species. Blood that shouldn’t be in my body… “And they’re positive there’s no negative impacts?”

“Well… They couldn’t see any…”

“But…” Because I know there’s a but to that statement.

“You’re the first human in Equestria. We don’t know exactly how your body is supposed to operate.”

I sigh and look up at the ceiling. We sit there in silence before I finally speak up. “What’s done is done. No need to dwell on the past. I’ve been here a week according to you, and nothing bad has happened to me in that time.” I turn my head to look at Fluttershy. “It’s safe to say I’m fine now.”

She smiles. “And I’m happy to see you alive and well, and I’m sure everypony else will.”

But I think I’ve spent enough time lying in a bed. “When did the doctor say I can leave?”

“Whenever you woke up, but I think you should stay here just a little longer. Everypony else promised to come visit you after breakfast anyway.”

I smirk. “Nonsense, let’s surprise them. Help me out of bed and let’s go to breakfast.”

Her eyes widen. “Are you sure you’re able to?”

“Alone, no. But with you by my side, I’m positive we can do it.”

“Okay, but I’m getting the doctor first.”

I let go of her hand, and she stands up and walks away. I hear a door open and shut, leaving me alone to myself for a bit. After what I’ve been through, what they’ve been through, how can I even face them? What’ll I say? How will they react? It’s not long before I hear the door again. Fluttershy steps into view, along with a caramel colored stallion with slicked black hair wearing a doctor’s coat.

“Well, looks who’s finally awake.”

I smile. “Well, you can’t sleep all your life away, right doctor?”

He laughs. “Too true in same cases. I must say though, it was fascinating to be able to study a different species in a medical environment. But as Miss Shy explained to me, it seems you’re anxious to return to your normal life so I’ll cut right to the chase with your injuries.”

“Lay it on me, doc.”

“You have a couple broken ribs, a hole in your left hand, multiple lacerations along your back, multiple foreign objects imbedded across your body that were removed, and had extreme blood loss. Frankly, it’s amazing you even survived for as long as you did.”

I smile. “What can I say doc, I’m a fighter.”

The doctor smiles. “Well, the good news is that you are free to leave, but I don’t want you performing any strenuous activity till we’re positive everything is back to normal for you.”

“You have my word.”

The doc nods his head. “Then let me just disconnect you from the machine here and remove the IV drip and you should be all set.” He slowly removes the needle in my arm connected to the IV, which I remember stands for intravenous fluid, then he reaches up under my hospital gown and gently pulls the little diode thing for the heartbeat monitor attached to my skin free with a little pop. “Alright, let’s get you on your feet.” He pulls the cover down to the end of the bed. “Take it slowly now, we don’t need you hurting yourself.”

With a grunt, I slowly force myself up and turn so that my legs now dangle over the edge of the bed. I slide forward so my feet now touch the ground. I take a breath, and rise up. I stumble, but the doc catches me. It’s at this point I realize what I’m wearing, or in this case, a lack of what I’m wearing. “Um… Doc? Mind if you do something for me?”

“Of course.”

I glance over my shoulder at Fluttershy. “Would you mind… Um… Helping me get dressed into something… Not this?”

“Oh, Rarity planned for this actually.” Fluttershy grabs a bag I didn’t notice before and reaches in, pulling a bundle of clothes out. “She made you some clothes as a gift for when you recovered.”

I nod my head. “Well doc, will you do it?”

“Well, it isn’t standard…” The doctor smirks, “But then again, you’re not a standard patient. Miss Shy, if you would leave us?”

“Umm… Actually… Somepony is gonna have to take care of you at home too.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Are you offering to be my in house nurse?” She nods her head. I’m pretty sure a blush grew on my face. “Okay then…”

Fluttershy comes to my side and gently sits me back down. The doctor hovers off to the side as she carefully removes the gown. Thankfully someone had the decency to provide me with a fresh pair of underwear. As she works, I finally get a good look at myself. Bandages wrap around my chest, along with a couple here and there along both my legs. I look at my left hand, the one that took an arrow through it. Bandages wrap around it, and my hand twitches, likely due to some nerve damage.

“There, all done.” I was so focused on my injuries that I didn’t even pay attention to her. I will admit, Rarity took into consideration my injuries when she designed these clothes. Not too form fitting, but loose enough that they don’t cling to my skin.

The doctor motions towards the door. “Miss Shy, if you’ll follow me, I’ll go over what needs to be done to Blake here. As for you,” The doctor looks at me, “I’ll get a wheelchair and send you on your way.”

I shake my head. “No wheelchair, crutches will work.” I’m not some cripple, I can still walk.

The doctor eyes me. “Stand up and try walking to me first, then we’ll see.”

Fluttershy helps me back to my feet. I steady myself, and then she lets me go. I slowly turn towards the doctor, putting the pressure on my right leg. I bite my lip at the pain, but press on. I then start making slow, shuffling movements towards him. Putting pressure on my left leg is tolerable enough though. “See? Easy.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Alright, no wheelchair and crutches it is. Follow me then.” Fluttershy supports my right side, and together we follow the doctor out into a hallway that’s drastically different from the room itself. No doubt about it now, this color scheme and architecture screams Canterlot Castle. The doctor turns right and moves down the hall towards what looks like a reception desk. We take it slow in our follow, so much so that the doctor has time to talk to someone behind the desk and get a pair of crutches. I brace myself on the crutches and take a seat on a bench nearby as the doctor talks with Fluttershy.

“Hey, welcome back to the land of the living.”

“Nice to hear from you too.”

“I’m gonna refrain from calling you an idiot till later.”

“I appreciate that. What’s going on?”

“Running some tests, working on a special project, and monitoring your vitals.”

“Good news or bad news?”

“What part of running some tests did you not understand?”

“Right, right. Look, just give me a break. I got a lot of things on my mind right now.”

“I’ve noticed. Look, we’ll talk later once we’re both back up to full speed.”

“Blake?” I glance up at Fluttershy. “We can go now.”

I stand up again, much easier with the crutches now, and walk with Fluttershy. She obviously knows where to go, so I’m gonna stick with her. “Shy?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you volunteer to take care of me? Not that I’m ungrateful, but why?”

“Because… Well, I couldn’t help you then, and I wanna help you now.”

I have to smile at that. “Like I said before and I’ll say it again, don’t blame yourself for any of this. I did what was needed of me.”

We walk in silence a bit more. After turning a corner, Fluttershy points to two large doors at the end with two guards flanking it. “That’s the dining hall. Oh, everypony is gonna be so happy to see you!”

I chuckle lightly. “Yeah, great.”

She stops and looks at me, her head tilted. “Blake? What’s wrong? You should be happy to see them.”

I stare at the doors, pondering what lies beyond. “I’m happy to see them, yes.” I sigh and glance at Fluttershy. “But how do I even start? What do I say? I can’t just walk in and act like nothing happened. I said those things because I didn’t expect to see everyone again. I caused so much heartbreak and pain that I… I don’t know what to do right now. I don't know if I should face them.”

She cups my chin in her hand and turns my head to face her. “Then just be yourself. This has been hard on everypony, but they still love you from the bottom of their hearts, or else they wouldn’t be here, wouldn’t have cried so hard for you. They love you, and always will. We told you before, we're a family, and family sticks together.”

I slowly smile. “You know just what to say and how to say it, don’t you?”

She smiles back. “It comes with being kind to others.”

I nod my head. “Then let’s greet our friends.” Fluttershy pushes open one of the doors, and the guard closest to it holds it open for me.

“Morning, Fluttershy, you hungry for…” Rainbow’s words die in her throat as all eyes watch me plod into the room beside Fluttershy.

I look at the gathered group of the Elements, the Princesses, and Scootaloo eating breakfast at a long table laden with all manner of breakfast foods. I stop and smile at them. “I’m back.”

“Dad?!” Scootaloo leaps off her chair and rushes me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I grunt in pain, and she swiftly steps back. I glance at her, seeing the tears already rolling down her face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

I fight back the tears in my eyes. Not from the pain, but from seeing Scootaloo again. “I didn’t say stop.”

She latches onto me again. “I’m so happy to see you alive! I couldn’t lose you!”

By now, everyone else has gathered around me. “Blake! I’m so happy to see you and happy to see your happy even though what happened and—”

Applejack covers Pinkie’s mouth. “Glad to see ya alive and kicking.”

Before anyone else can speak, Celestia does. “Now, now, my little ponies. Let’s let Blake get situated before we continue.” Everyone backs off, but sticks close to me. I hobble over to a seat at one end of the table, the chair magically pulling itself out thanks to Luna. I gingerly sit down in it, leaning the crutches against the table. Everyone else takes their seat again, and a plate with eggs, toast, and pancakes is placed in front of me. I nod my thanks to Rarity. “Now, I’m sure Blake has something to say to everypony else first.”

Everyone looks at me. I take a deep breath and exhale. Here goes nothing. “Everything I said to you that day… I meant every word of it. Do I regret what I did? No. But I do regret what it caused all of you. The heartbreak, the pain, the tears. You all thought you were losing a family member,” I glance at Scootaloo, “…And so was I. It pains me to no end to know I was responsible for it all. If only I was there in the first place, I could have stopped this, could have prevented it from ever happening. I’m truly, truly, sorry for causing you so much grief and I pray you will forgive me in time.”

Silence reigns for a bit. “Dear, we never blamed you in the first place.”

I look at Rarity. “Truly?”

“Absolutely.”

“Rarity’s right, Blake. As much as we… Disliked it, you did it to protect not only us, but all of Ponyville too. And even if you were there, who’s to say things would have played out differently? What matters is that you still came for us.”

I sigh, feeling like some weight has been lifted from my shoulders, allowing a smile to cross my face. “It doesn’t excuse from how you all felt after seeing me.”

“What ya said ta us, it was from the heart and true. Nopony could have asked for more.” Applejack sighs. “Ah just wish we could have said more to ya, after what ya said to us.”

“Besides, what an awesome way to go out!” We all just stare at Rainbow. “…What? It was!”

My laughter is what breaks the silence this time. It hurts, but it feels good to be laughing right now. “Leave it to you to say the awkward thing!”

My laughter puts everyone else at ease as they laugh along. “But it really was awesome, like something out of a movie!” Scootaloo says.

I just rub the top of her head and smile. “Except the hero doesn’t normally perish, but let’s not dwell on the past anymore. Let’s eat and just enjoy the now.”

“Good, cause I’m starving!” Pinkie slams her face onto her plate, followed by slurping sounds, then to pop back up with her plate completely licked clean. “More please!” I glance at Celestia daintily eating her food, apparently taking Pinkie being Pinkie in stride. Normal conversation resumes after a light chuckle at Pinkie, smiles and general good will spreading around.

“I must say, Blake,” I glance up at Luna, the fork with some eggs on it halfway to my mouth, “We were surprised at the state of Ponyville when we arrived.”

“I’m curious about that actually. What happened while we were…?” Twilight pauses.

I roll my eyes. “Kidnapped, Twilight. Not a problem to say the word in front of me. But about that, I gave a rousing speech about standing up for yourself and being strong, Trixie and Derpy volunteered to help, everyone started to insult Derpy, then I insulted them, called them cowards, and told them to leave.”

“That wasn’t very nice of everypony involved.”

“I will admit, I didn’t like what I said, but it worked.”

Conversation continues again, with Rarity telling some story about her newest fashion line (Inspired by the heroic deeds of, who else, mwah). While she’s telling it, I scan the table for a thing of butter. Eventually, I spot it out of my reach. “Please pass the butter.” I go unheard, so I try again. “Please pass the butter.” Man, is everyone so enthralled by Rarity’s story that they can’t hear me? I know I don’t want to be treated like an invalid, but my God, I should be able to at least ask for help. One… More… Time… “Please, will someone pass the butter?”

“Woah, woah, don’t pop a blood vessel now. Nice deep breaths, think of the soothing ocean waves.”

Nope, time for my hangry side to show.

“And the latest upcoming fashion trend, according my sources, is for sequins to be chic again.”

I lean forward in my seat and raise my voice a little. “No way!” I try to lace some sarcasm in my voice.

“It’s true, darling. But I believe sequins don’t bring that certain… Je ne sais quoi to any outfit. Too garish and they hide the true beauty of the ensemble.”

Wow, she must really be dense to not notice the sarcasm. I clench my right hand into a fist. “You wouldn’t want the true beauty of your outfits to be overshadowed by something else!”

“Dad…”

“Absolutely, darling! Therefore, I have decided to be one step ahead of everypony else and incorporate gems into my latest fashion line!”

“Gems in outfits?!”

“Dad…” I feel Scootaloo gently grab my left hand.

“Woah, woah! Keep it calm I said! …That’s odd… Actually, stay angry!”

Rarity tilts her head a little and looks up. “Although, maybe it’s too early for me to reveal my line since everypony else is still using lace trims currently.”

I roll my eyes. “Why would they still be using lace trims?! Are they nuts?!”

“Certainly not! After all, lace trim outfits are flying off the racks right now, so to speak! Why, I just got another order for them!”

I tilt my head. “For who?!”

Rarity smiles and looks back at me. “Why, only Fancy Pants and that wonderful mare of his, Fleur Dis Lee.”

I shake my head, ignoring the pain. “You’re kidding?!”

Rarity places a hand to her chest. “Absolutely not! Fancy Pants is one of my best customers! And I know he asked for sequin based outfits, but maybe I should surprise him with a special gem based outfit?”

“This is a nightmare! How will you ever decide?!”

“Dad.”

“I’m not sure, dearie! You’ve taken an interest. What do you think I should do?”

“Please pass the damn butter!” I bang my right hand on the table with each word, pain shooting through it. Everyone goes silent. “Oh, now you all fucking hear me?! Couldn’t get it before when I asked for it three times! My God,” I place a hand to my head and close my eyes, “It’s times like this where I actually wish for the ability to use magic! I could see it now, crystal clear too. The butter would lift up, float over, spread itself on whatever I wanted it for.”

“Blake…”

“Not now, Applejack!” I smack my lips. “And look at that, this rant has made me thirsty! Why don’t I be lazier and pour myself a drink and lift it to my lips!” I take a sip of ice cold orange juice, washing away some of the searing pain in my throat. “Ah… And then, set everything back exactly where it was without so much as bothering anybody!”

“Blake! Beseech this instant!”

The sheer volume, and use of archaic English, from Luna makes me open my eyes and look at her. I look at the faces of everyone, seeing shock clearly written across their faces, even Celestia. I hang my head and stare at my plate, everything I wanted buttered being buttered. “Sorry about that… I tend to get cranky when I’m hungry.” I gingerly pick up my silverware and continue eating, the scraping against my plate being the only sound for a bit. I finally glance back up at everyone. “Whoever buttered everything, thanks.”

“Blake… Nopony did anything.”

I roll my eyes. “And what, Twilight, the magic fairy just came and—” I take a few deep breaths. “No, no, stay calm. Look, someone has to have done it.”

“Umm… Well… What I believe Twilight is trying to say is…”

“You did it, silly.”

I raise an eyebrow at that. Not their claim, but how Pinkie can say something silly and not make it sound so… joyous.

“Yeah? And the next thing you’re gonna tell me is that the sky is green and Celestia doesn’t enjoy eating cakes.” That earns a little giggle from Luna. “Sorry to say it, but now is not the time to mess with me.”

“Blake, we ain’t messing with ya. Ya really did use magic.”

I eye Applejack, looking for her telltale signs of lying. Nothing… “Applejack, you and I both know that I can’t use magic, period. But just for shits and giggles,” I hold my right hand up towards a window, “Let’s try a spell ? Hmmm, I know. Hurlus bombinus!” I squeeze my eyes shut as an agonizing pain shoots through my head.

There’s an explosion sound and the shattering of glass. I open my eyes and look at where the window used to be. The window is shattered, along with pieces of brick from around the window crumbling to dust. My breath catches in my throat as my eyes widen. No, it’s not possible. Slowly, my eyes drift over to my hand. The veins under the skin glow teal before fading in brightness. No… No, no, no! This shouldn’t be possible! I shouldn’t be able to do magic! I’m not like them, and I never will be! Why?! This isn’t real, I refuse to accept that! There’s got to be another answer!

“Woah, calm yourself down! You’re gonna—”

“You shut the fuck up right now! You’re part of the problem!”

“Blake, please remain calm or—”

I scream as what feels like a fire sparks into existence on my skin, burning every part of my very being. The pain is driven back by a soothing wave of cold, numbing everything it touches yet leaving me aware of it all. I hold my hands up to my eyes, and see my veins coursing with teal energy. I blink my eyes once, the world before me reforming into a black void with haphazard shapes emanating auras that move around. I look down at myself, a teal aura flaring wildly around me as tendrils lash out into the void. And then once more, I can feel the fire flare again, only this time, it’s more… Inviting and invigorating. What… What is this feeling, and why is it so… Intoxicating.

I glance up at a very copious golden aura down below and moving slowly towards me... Too close for comfort. I need to push it back a bit. I raise my hand, holding it out towards the aura. A tendril of teal moves from my hand to crash against the golden aura. It wobbles a bit, but keeps moving forward. And for the first time since entering this void, I start hearing something other than myself breathing. It’s too vague and quiet for me to make out. The golden aura moves closer, and I can hear a voice…

“Blake…” I lower my hand and tilt my head. “Blake…” The voice comes in much clearer this time. And it sounds like… Celestia? The girls…

I blink my eyes, and the world returns to normal. Celestia looks up at me… Wait... Up? I yelp as gravity asserts itself, dropping me to the floor below. Before I can hit it, Celestia catches me in her magic and gently lowers me. I look at everyone, the girls slowly moving out from behind Luna’s magic barrier. I turn to look right at Celestia. “What was that?”

She places a hand on my shoulder. “Blake, what you just experienced was a magic surge.”

Magic surge… Like Twilight’s? Wait… No pain from Celestia’s touch. I step back from her, taking off my shirt. I look down at my body. While the bandages remain, the pain is gone, almost as if I was… Cleansed, for a lack of a better word. The veins under my skin glow teal, and it seems I’ve gained some more muscle mass. I stare at myself for some time. “How? Everyone here knows as well as I do that I shouldn’t be able to use magic.”

Celestia sighs. “I’m afraid I do not have an answer for that.”

“Blake?” I glance up at Twilight. “Are you alright?”

“I… Think so?” I prod at the bandages wrapping around my chest, feeling no pain. “Scratch that, never been better!”

“Good, you calmed down. Now, let me explain what I’ve figured out. One, your body has now adapted to use magic. It has also healed any pain you may have felt before your… Let’s call it awakening.”

“The burning sensation from the magic surge?”

“Exactly. Two, much like the Earth ponies, it would seem you’ve gained some of the natural affinity towards the ground, and their strength to boot.”

“And three?”

“You’re still on the no fly list, but you at least got some of the natural weather resistance, cloud control, and weather manipulation of the pegasi.”

“And why do I have this now?”

“Come on, you’re smart enough to figure this one out. You went into battle, nearly died of blood loss…”

My eyes widen as the pieces fall into place. “The blood…”

“What did you say?” Rarity asks.

A smile crosses my face. “Don’t you all see?! The blood is the answer! Begun by the blood, undone by the blood! The magic comes from the blood!” I laugh, probably sounding the tiniest bit maniacal. “Quick, I need a cloud in here!”

“What’s that got to—?”

“Miss Dash, please fetch us a cloud with all speed.” I look up at Luna as she stares at me. It would seem her mind has had the same thought I had.

“Sure thing!” Rainbow flies out the window I blew out as I put my shirt back on.

“Would somepony please explain just what in the heck is going here?”

Celestia glances between Luna and I. “I believe I can offer an explanation. When we performed the blood transfusion, it would seem some of the magic of each of the three races come along as well.”

Rarity’s eyes widen. “You don’t mean…”

“That Blake can use magic because of the blood transfusion because he got some of Twilight’s blood which also means he’s got some of the abilities from pegasi and Earth ponies because he also got blood from Rainbow and Applejack!” You know, I shouldn’t be surprised anymore when it comes to Pinkie, but…

It’s at this moment that Rainbow comes back, pushing the cloud in through the window. “Here ya go!” She places the cloud in front of me, then steps off to the side. “What’d I miss?”

I reach out and touch the cloud. Much like with the poison joke incident, I’m able to physically touch and manipulate the cloud. “No way!” Scootaloo says. I punch the cloud with the intent of dispersing it, which it does.

“Woah, woah, woah. Just what in the heck is going on here?”

I smile and look at Rainbow. “Short version, I got the barest fraction of each of the powers of the three pony races.” I pause, looking over the girls one by one. I then look at my hand, then to Luna and Celestia. “I have a favor to ask from both of you.”

They glance at each other. “As do we, Blake.”

“Let us adjourn to the throne room then. We have much to discuss.” Celestia heads for the door with Luna by her side. I hang back with the girls.

“Do you realize what this means for the future of magic in Equestria?”

I chuckle. “Don’t think you’re going to be studying me just yet, Twilight. I still got to study myself.” I shake my head. This opens up a whole new avenue of magical study then. Who would have thought Equestrian magic comes from blood?

“Does this no longer mean…”

I nod my head. “Yes, Fluttershy. Whatever that magic surge did to me, it also healed me of my pain and wounds.”

“Do you have wings now?!” Scootaloo asks.

I tilt my head at that one. “No, I don’t think so… But…” I pull my shirt up. “See anything back there?”

“Nope, not a thing.” I roll my eyes and lower my shirt. Thank God for that one.

“Ya seem ta be okay with everything that’s going on, Blake.”

I smile. “I need to be, Applejack. What’s done is done, no changing that. Now, I just need to adapt and look to the future, for dwelling in the past can have dangerous consequences.”

Celestia and Luna enter the throne room before us. They climb up the steps to their thrones (Nice to see they gave Luna her own instead of just having her stand) and take their respective seats. The rest of us stop about a quarter of the way from the steps. Luna nods her head. “Blake, would you please step forward.” I do as Luna asks.

Celestia sighs. “Blake, on the day of the Diamond Dog attack on Ponyville, you showed courage for facing them, strength for going through with it, and leadership for rallying an entire town behind you.”

Luna leans forward in her throne. “You put the well-being of others before your own, risking your own life to allow the Elements and your help to escape. You faced insurmountable odds, and still continued fighting.”

Celestia nods her head. “And much like Luna had pointed out to me before, we have been too lenient with protection of the Elements. If you had not been there, or if Spike was unable to send us a message in time...” She shakes her head and leans forward in her throne. “It is why we have come to the agreement to create a guard for the elements… With you leading them, if you choose to do so.”

I look away from Celestia and Luna. On one hand, I was gonna ask them for something similar. On the other, I’m no leader, let alone cut out to be one. But can I really let the fate of my friends and family in someone I don’t know? I turn my gaze to my right hand. With this new power, I might just be able to prevent them from ever facing pain again. I ball my hand into a fist and look back up at them. “When do I start?”

Celestia smiles. “Right now. Please, take a knee and repeat after me.” I get down on one knee and look straight at Celestia. “Let no fellow pony—”

“Let me stop you right there, Celestia.” She blinks her eyes, no doubt startled by me interrupting her. “I will not swear myself to you. There are very few I will do that for, and your sister,” I look at Luna, “Is one of them.”

Luna actually leans back in her throne, her eyes wide. “P-Pl-Please continue then.”

I nod my head, repeating the oath from memory. “Upon my honor I do swear, as both officer and subject, to defend and support the laws of this New Lunar Republic and to serve ever faithfully our eternal princess of the night. I take this oath of my own free will. And with neither fear, nor reservation, do vow to defend all subjects of this realm, be they earth pony, unicorn, pegasi, or any other. May the shadows ever be my cloak, and the night my ally true, as I stand against all who would wish this nation harm. May mine be the spear that shall never break, and the shield that shall not yield that I might never fail nor falter in my duties. With faith and loyalty I make this vow, and so do pledge my life until the day I am relieved of service, or Death takes me to join the stars. I shall live not for myself, but for those whom I hold most dear. My friends! My nation! And my princess of the night!”

Luna smiles and struggles to maintain her composure, and I catch Celestia smiling. And not that fake smile she has plastered on her face most of the time, this one seems almost… Genuine. Luna takes a deep breath and rubs the corners of her eyes. “Then arise, Blake Quinter, captain of the Elemental Guard.”

I stand up as the girls clap and cheer for me, Scootaloo even going so far as to leap onto my back and hug me from behind. I shift Scootaloo up so she can sit on my shoulder. “What do you think of me now?” I ask her.

“Totally cool! Still not as cool as Rainbow Dash, but still cool!”

I smirk. “Is anything I do ever gonna be cooler than her?”

“Nope, and you better believe it, bub!” I roll my eyes at Rainbow’s statement, knowing the she’s making Scootaloo’s day as much as I am. I bend down so Scootaloo can slide off my shoulder.

“After what you looked like, I’m surprised you’re up and moving.”

I turn around to face some more friendly faces. “Trixie, Derpy! Glad to see you!” I hold my arms out to my sides.

Derpy rushs up and wraps me in a hug. “So glad to see you’re okay! We didn’t know what was gonna happen when we saw you like… That!”

I chuckle and pull away from Derpy, rubbing the back of my head. “Yeah, well, I didn’t think you’d see me like that in the first place.”

Trixie walks over, shaking her head. “That was either foolish or incredibly brave of you. Either way, I respect you for it.”

I glance between the two. “What are you two doing her exactly? Shouldn’t you be back working at the post office,” I point to Trixie, “And you get back to travelling?”

Derpy shakes her head. “Nope! After what we did, I was told to take as much time as I wanted to relax. So many ponies are actually respecting me now and treating me different that it feels weird, but in a good way! And it’s all thanks to you!”

Trixie shrugs her shoulders. “Meh, Trixie needs to relax every now and again, and I haven’t been to Canterlot in a while.”

“She’s actually been here every day checking up on you and worrying about your recovery.”

Trixie turns to glare at Twilight. “Quiet, Sparkle.”

I can’t help but giggle at that, as do some of the girls and the princesses. A tsundere Trixie I can totally get behind. I smile at the two before glancing over my shoulder at Luna. “Listen, while it’s good to see you both, I have something else to ask of you again. And what I say here does not leave this room, no matter your answer, period.”

Trixie raises an eyebrow. “Go on.”

“Long story short, the blood transfusion gave me some of the abilities of the three pony races. And based on what happens in Ponyville and how vital the Elements are, a new Elemental Guard was created under my command.” I take a deep breath and steel my nerves. “I’m asking if you two would like to join.”

“Why us? There must be ponies trained to be royal guards that could do this job.”

I nod my head. “True, but you’ve both already proven yourselves to me. You’re both capable fighters and willing to defend others, even if it means putting yourself in harm's way.”

Derpy nods her head. “I’ll do it. We need to protect not only Ponyville itself, but everyone in it.”

I smile and pat her shoulder. I figured she’d jump at the chance, if only to keep her newfound respect alive. Now onto the harder one to convince “And Trixie?”

She idly taps her hoof against the ground. “I don’t live in Ponyville, and I’m a travelling showmare. I can’t make a living or name for myself staying in one place forever. Trixie does have fans across Equestria after all.”

Hmm… How to approach this… I glance over my shoulder at Celestia. I think I know how. “What if your fans came to you instead?”

She scoffs. “And why would they? As much as they adore Trixie, they have no reason to come see me.”

“Then how about we give them a reason?” Trixie raises an eyebrow, which I take as a sign to continue. “Settle down in Ponyville, and open up a magic school or something to teach others what you know. You’re easily one of the best illusionists I’ve ever seen, and I’m sure your fans will want to follow in your glorious footsteps… Err, hoofsteps.”

I can see her eyes light up at the prospect as she fiddles with her cape. However, she sighs and shakes her head. “As appealing as that sounds, Trixie still needs to find her family, and I doubt they will come to me.”

Time for one last sell, then I’ll give up on her. “Why search for something you already have?”

Trixie tilts her head. “What do you mean?” Over her shoulder, I can see Rarity and Fluttershy huddled together and staring intently at us. Sure, sure, why watch a drama when one is playing right in front of you.

I smile and walk towards her. “What you both did for me, rescuing my friends and family, will forever be remembered by me. You both took a risk for me, and for that,” I stop right in front of Trixie. I reach up and take her hat off her head, holding it to my side, “I can, and will always, consider you family. I’d be more than willing to call you both my sisters. Hell, I’d even make it official right now.” I glance over my shoulder at Celestia. “How soon can we make it official?”

“I can have the forms here in moments.”

I smile and nod my head, looking back at Trixie. “So, what do you both have to say to that?”

“I already have a family, but the more the better, right?” Derpy says.

Trixie opens and closes her mouth a few times. Finally, she shakes her head and crosses her arms. “Fine, I suppose I’d be okay with that… Brother.” She smirks though, and I can see some wetness at the corner of her eyes.

I smile. “Who knows, maybe you’ll come to like living in Ponyville, sis? After all, you already got one student under you, ready to learn.”

“Are you referring to yourself?”

I laugh. “Of course! I just got these powers and have no idea how to use them! Someone’s gotta teach me before I hurt someone.”

“I could teach you! Even though I’m still learning, we could learn together!”

I look at Twilight, her smile easily comparable to Pinkie’s, and smile. “Of course. I’ll be coming to you for basic and advanced magic. You know, the standard stuff.” I glance at Trixie. “I would like for Trixie to teach me everything she knows about illusion magic.” I turn around to look at Luna. “However, I would like for Luna to train me in the mystical arts only she knows. That is, if you are willing to take on a student?”

She smiles. “In due time, of course. For now, learn to grasp what has been given to you.”

I nod my head. “And one more thing, directed to Celestia and Luna. Our existence stays a secret. We can’t operate in the shadows when standing in the spotlight. Plus, making it known what we are guarding will bring undue attention.”

Celestia nods her head. “Very well then. Only those of us in this room shall speak of this meeting, and only in private.”

I nod my head. “And Luna? Even though we are called the Elemental Guard, I would like to call us something else.”

Luna leans forward in her throne. “Oh? And what did you have in mind?”

I smirk. “Simple, really. We work in the shadows, are blind to the public eye, and only make ourselves known when we want to. Call us… Specters.”

After that highly important meeting, it was decided that we should resume breakfast, and then return to Ponyville. Why? Well, I do want to get home sooner rather than later, and Trixie needed to pick her location for the school in Ponyville (I knew Celestia would provide the funding for a new educational institution with ties to the crown). Plus, Pinkie wanted to throw a party for my recovery and for officially welcoming Trixie to town.

The walk to the Canterlot train station seemed almost… Normal. Like, what just happened to me was just a scattered dream, or far off memory. Everyone was getting along, even Trixie and Twilight. I would have assumed that some sort of rivalry would have happened. However, they quickly bonded over magical talk that I couldn’t follow.

“That’s going to be me soon, isn’t it?”

“Of course. Magic is both a powerful and deadly construct. You need to understand the theories and concepts before trying to tackle a spell.”

“Even though I wanted to be taught, I still don’t look forward to going back to school. I thought those days of my life were behind me.”

“Knowing you, you aren’t gonna have much trouble. You got three of the best teachers you could find, plus, you got the blood of Magic in you! If Twilight doesn’t have any trouble with magic, then neither should you.”

We get to the station as scattered groups of ponies enter or exit the multiple cars. Picking a car that seems mostly empty, we file in and take our seats, ready to begin the journey home. For me, however, it’s a return to the old, and an adventure to the new. My life can never be the same again, but maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe… Maybe things will work out in the end.

Turmoil

“Permanent Vacation"

Turmoil

The citizens of Ponyville had welcomed my return and recovery with open arms, along with the party Pinkie threw to celebrate. A few days after that, construction started on Trixie’s school. As for what she was naming it, I had no idea. Probably would be something extravagant and grand. Till then, she spent time getting to know some of the ponies around town and spending her nights getting to know her new family. Derpy, for the most part, returned to her daily duties as the mail carrier, but with a newfound sense of glee emanating off of her.

As for me? Well, after seeing everyone again (Sonja, being over affectionate as ever, wouldn’t even let me out of her sight now), I started my studies with Twilight and Trixie. As much as I would have loved to start learning illusion magic, it was decided that I would start learning the basics from Twilight. And while her methods may have been… Boring, they still taught me what I needed to know.

The simplest way I understood her, and can explain it, is that magic is all about visualize and conceptualize. For instance, levitation is picture the object in your mind and visualize it moving to the intended location. But it’s not as simple as see object, lift up. One must see everything there is about the object, even what cannot be seen from you current angle. But it’s not just what it looks like either. Every little minute detail must be factored in as well, such as weight, density, and texture.

My first couple of tries were met with little success, being barely able to lift a simple apple off a table. However, much like Twilight kept telling me, that it gets easier the more you do it. It was through enough dedication that I was able to lift not only one, but multiple objects at a time, even getting to the point where I didn’t have to raise my hand towards the object. From there, I moved on to other common spells, such as teleportation.

After Twilight’s lesson for the day, I would head over to Trixie’s and we would begin our lesson. Unlike Twilight, she showed me how the different schools of magic affected the world around us. My main reason for these lessons, illusion, focused on manipulating the magic around yourself or others to get them to experience whatever you wanted them to experience. From her, I learned some of the more commonly thought of illusion spells, such as invisibility and the ability to muffle the amount of noise I made.

After that, I would spend my own time studying up on spells from books Twilight had lent me to further my studies. The schools they covered varied, though not dark magic, which is to be expected after all. As for what I studied, it started out simple enough. Cast a fireball here, throw a shield up there, bind an object, and so on. You know, simple things any self-respecting mage should know. However, I wanted more. I had started moving on to more advanced stuff and taking a deeper look at how magic works.

As the days went by, I slowly started looking at the world around me, as if truly seeing it for the first time. However, my questions soon stopped being directed at the world around me to something much closer…

I wasn’t trying to lead a healthy lifestyle, but now that I got this nice body thanks to Earth pony magic, I may as well try to keep it. As I’m tying my shoes after a light breakfast, I whistle for Sonja. “Come on, girl!” I hear her sprint from her spot on the couch to the front door, glancing up to see her tail wagging as she paws at the door. I chuckle to myself as I finish tying my shoes, grabbing a backpack stashed by the door. In one fluid motion, I open the door to the bright and sunny morning world while slinging the backpack over my shoulders. Sonja’s already out the door, sniffing the ground in fervor.

After shutting the door behind me, I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out a pair of earbuds. Putting them in my ear, I then plug them into my iPod and set it to shuffle. With a whistle for Sonja, I set off on a jog around town, working in a clockwise direction so that I end near the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. After a short break there to rest up and drink, I continue past the entrance a little further before leaping the fence and heading for the edge of the Everfree. It’s here where I’ve been working out for the past couple of weeks. It’s nice, quiet, and far enough away from town that I won’t be bothered.

Once I get there, I pull the backpack off and set it on the ground close by. I reach in and pull out a water bowl for Sonja, filling it up with some water from one of the bottles I brought. I smile as she laps it up, drinking her fill before going to lie down off to side. At this point, she’s become accustomed to what I’ve been doing out here. Anyway, I move onto the next step of my workout routine, pushups. As I go through the motions, I drown out all other thoughts in the repetition of movement and the music. Once I feel satisfied, and drenched in sweat, I stand up and drink some water.

After a short break, I move on to the last part of my routine, boxing against a scarecrow that I… Borrowed from Applejack. It’s not like she’d miss it, she has like four more stashed in the barn anyway. Reaching into the backpack, I pull out a roll of boxing tape I picked up when I first started this workout and a portable Bluetooth speaker. I take the earbuds out and swap the music over to the speaker, tossing the earbuds into the backpack. Afterwards, I wrap the boxing tape around my hands. Tossing the tape into the bag too, I take a deep breath and drop into a combat stance. I punch at the scarecrow, trying to stay light on my feet and hitting imaginable weak points it. Granted, a stationary target is nothing compared to the real thing, but it’s better than nothing. The music is there just for background noise at this point, all I need to focus on is my punches.

I stumble after overextending a punch. I bounce back and shake my head. Goddamn it, not good enough. I’m gonna get myself killed out there like this. I can’t screw up like this, not again… Not ever again. I crack my neck. “What do you want?”

“…You’re swinging that right hook out too far, leaving yourself open.” I didn’t need to see or hear Rainbow to know she was there, or to know she wasn’t alone.

I take another swing, keeping it nice and tight this time. “Thanks. But critiquing my boxing isn’t the only reason you’re here, along with the rest of you. So, I ask again, what do you want?”

“Oh, he’s good,” Pinkie says.

“Can you please turn off the music so we can talk, Blake?” Twilight asks.

As I keep throwing punches, I spare the barest of thoughts to levitate my iPod over to me. I found out that touch screens don’t work with magic, so I have to resort to reaching out and actually touching it to pause it. Afterwards, I levitate the iPod back to rest on the speaker. “There, go ahead.”

“Can you turn around now, please?”

I lower my hands and turn around, quickly glancing over the girls, Trixie, and Derpy. “Alright, what’s this about?”

“Well… Is everything… Alright with you, dearie?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Yeah, Rarity, it is. What brought this on?”

“It’s just that we haven’t seen much of you lately,” Fluttershy says.

“Almost like you’ve been avoiding us.”

Ah, and there lies the reason for them being here. Truth be told, I’m not avoiding them, just… Not making an effort to go out of my way to see them. But to answer their question… I shake my head. “Is that what this is about? Don’t worry, I’ve just been busy, that’s all.”

Trixie shakes her head. “No, there’s more to it than that. I’ve noticed you haven’t been as outgoing as everypony in town makes you out to be. There’s definitely something wrong with you.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, I got a lot on my mind. Don’t worry about it, everything’s fine. Now, I gotta get back to my workout. Have a nice day.” I turn my back to them and return to punching the scarecrow.

“You know, we are your family. You can talk to us about anything,” Derpy says.

I mentally sigh. Of course they couldn’t just leave me alone, and now it’s starting to irk me. “Some things you would never understand.”

“Then make us understand,” Twilight says as I gut punch the scarecrow.

“I don’t have to.”

“But wouldn’t it be better to get it off your chest?”

“No, Rarity.” I wrap the scarecrow in a headlock and punch at its head three times before stepping back from it.

“Look sugarcube, ah get there’s some things ya don’t want to talk about. But whatever it is, ya can’t let it bring you down. It’s better ta talk it out with friends and family rather than let it stew by yourself.”

A part of me wants to twist her words around to talk about her parents, but I refrain. “There’s absolutely nothing that needs talked about.” I uppercut the scarecrow and follow up with an elbow strike to the head.

“Okay, this is just getting pointless! What is it that you’re hiding from us?! Why won’t you talk about it?!” I clench my fists harder as Rainbow keeps talking. “Something is obviously wrong, and we’re here to try and help, but you won’t let us! Why?!"

With a yell, I conjure a bubble with flames dancing around the inside of it around my right hand. I charge the scarecrow and deliver a punch straight to its chest. The bubble sticks to its chest, and some scorching already starts to appear. I jump back and raise my fist in the air. When I open my fist, the bubble bursts, releasing the flame spell trapped inside to swiftly engulf the scarecrow and burn it to ashes.

I round on the girls. “You want to know what’s wrong?! Fine, have it your way! Why I haven’t gone out of my way to see you or talk to you?! It’s because seeing you reminds me how horribly I failed to protect you, and the only way to do that job right is to give up part of my fucking humanity to do so! I can do things no normal human can do now, but I can’t call myself a human anymore! I’m becoming a fucking freak of humanity, a science experiment gone wrong! And how much more of my humanity needs to be lost along the way?! I’m the last of my kind alive, but I can’t preserve my species if I’m forced to change everything about me to protect what matters!”

At their silence, I continue, some of my anger having been vented. “None of you will ever get what it’s like to lose a part of you, watching as it’s slowly stripped from your essence, your identity. None of you will ever get what that’s like.” I sigh. “We’re done here.”

“No, we’re not. We want to help you, and the only way to do that is by letting us.”

I glare at Twilight. “No, we are done. You need to leave me alone right now. I’m going to leave here, and be left alone for a while.” I whistle as I head over to my bag and start packing stuff in it. “Sonja, go with Fluttershy.” Once everything is packed, I mentally prepare myself for a long distance teleport to the Castle of the Two Sisters. Since I’ve never actually been there, I have to go by what I’ve seen in the show.

“Agent, some help here?”

“Of course, but you aren’t gonna avoid them forever.”

“I know. I just need… Time alone to work this out.”

“Whatever you say.”

An image of the main entrance hall of the castle enters my mind, and I focus on as many details as I can while mentally picturing myself there. I close my eyes and release the spell, feeling the slight pull I’ve come to associate with teleportation too. When I open my eyes, I’m standing exactly where I pictured myself. I take just a moment to look around at the dilapidated ruins, and then go in search of somewhere to reflect on everything today. I somehow manage to make my way into the throne room, where the fateful battle between Celestia and Nightmare Moon took place.

Celestia’s old throne still stands here, albeit with one of arms blasted off, but it still suits my needs. I head over to it, setting my bag down beside it before sitting on it. With a sigh, I lean back and close my eyes. While a bit comfortable, it’s still cold, unforgiving, and broken… Much like I am now. Day in and day out, it only served for one purpose alone, and that was to serve someone else. But even though it had that one job, it did it dutifully and happily. But even now, after it’s been altered, it still is ready to perform its job, just in a different capacity. But how many times will it need to break before it is replaced? You can only patch something so many times…

I open my eyes and glance at the throne. Okay, maybe I’m going a tiny bit stir crazy if I’m comparing myself to a throne. I shake my head. Instead, I lean back and casually try out some spells. I found out early on in my studies that it is possible to combine spells for new results, much like I did with my fire bubble. That was simply trapping a fireball inside a shield with a sticky exterior. When the shield bursts, the spell inside explodes violently, engulfing the target in flames. While usable in combat, I had initially thought of it with the intent of creating a pseudo trip mine.

Spell after spell, I try out various combinations that either worked or failed miserably. I lose track of time for a bit, solely focusing on practicing these spells. By the time it occurs to me to even check the time, I see it’s about one. It’s just as I’m about to stand up and teleport home that I hear the clip clop of hooves. I have to smile a bit. At least they respected my wishes of letting me alone for a while. So, who’d they send?

From a doorway on the left side of the room comes the last pony I’d expect. “Pinkie?”

She smiles up at me. “Wow, Twilight was right!”

I raise an eyebrow. “She knew I was here?”

She nods her head. “Yeah, something about magical signature and output. I don’t really understand it, but she knew what she was talking about.”

I frown at that. Being able to track a magical signature is both a help and a hindrance. I need to look into a way to mask or hide it, or even misdirect anyone tracking it. I shake my head and levitate Luna’s old throne, tossed into the corner, to sit in front of Celestia’s. I motion for Pinkie to come up. “You know, I didn’t expect you to be the one to talk to me.”

She bounces over and sits in Luna’s throne. She shrugs her shoulders “Honestly? I didn’t either! But the story called for it, so here I am!”

“Story? What are you—” I sigh and shake my head. “You know what, nevermind. So, what are you gonna say to me that grants me a revelation in how to cope with my current emotional instability?”

She giggles. “Silly, you already figured that out yourself. I’m just here to make you realize it.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”

She points at the throne. “You said that the throne is broken, but still able to do its job. And mostly any broken object can be fixed with enough patching!”

I nod my head. “Yep, that is true. But eventually, the original object will be entirely replaced with something else, all of its original parts gone.”

She leans forward and pokes me in the chest. “But as long as a single piece remains, no matter how small or insignificant, it’ll still be there. As long as a single piece remains, it can never truly be gone. You may not be a pure human anymore, but you’re still more human than everypony else in Equestria.”

I blink my eyes a couple of times. Huh… When she puts it like that, it brings a whole new light on the situation. This world may be able to change me, but as long as I cling tightly to my humanity, it can never be taken away. I never expected her to be so insightful. I smile at her. “You know, you’re right. I may be different now from when I came to this world, but that doesn’t mean I have to lose everything about me.”

“See?! Now you’re getting it!” She stands up. “Now come on! Everypony’s been worried about you!”

I grab my bag and stand up as well. “But I did say some pretty… Rude things back there to you guys.”

She rolls her eyes. “Pfft, nopony is holding that against you. You were emotional and said things you didn’t mean. It happens to everypony, even me!”

I smile. “At least you all understand where I’m coming from.”

She nods her head. “Oh believe me, I do. I used to be a rock farmer, and then I got my Cutie Mark! After my Cutie Mark, I lost most of my ability to grow rocks, but gained some pretty sweet party skills!”

I blink my eyes a few times. “You… Used to be good at rock farming, yet your cutie mark suppressed that ability? That’s… Strange.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Yeah, I know. But I’m happy about it! Otherwise, I wouldn’t have made so many friends!”

“…Are you willing to tell me exactly what happened?”

She giggles. “Nope! That’s a story for another time!”

I smile at her. “As long as you’re happy with what you have now.” But it disturbs me that something like that is possible. Who’s to say she didn’t want to be a rock farmer and throw parties? Or this could be another case of Pinkie Pie logic.

She nods her head. “Yep! Now come on, I know a shortcut to get us back to Ponyville lickety-split!”

I look back at Celestia’s throne. Somehow, I just picture Celestia sitting up in the castle, slyly smiling, as if she knew I’d gleam some revelation from it. I shake my head. Impossible… But this is a master manipulator I’m taking about. I turn back to Pinkie. “Alright, and what shortcut are you talking about?”

“This one!” She bounces over to a door and opens it, quickly stepping through and shutting it behind her. I just stare at the door. How can it be a shortcut? It just leads to another room or hallway! The door opens and she peeks her head out. “Come on! Everypony is waiting for you!” She slams the door shut again.

…Okay then. I walk to the door and open it. On the other side is… My living room? …That can’t be right. I shut the door and open it again. Nope, still my living room. “Uh… Agent, you got any—”

“Nope. Don’t understand it and don’t even want to know. May as well just… Go through it, I guess.”

I slowly step through the door and look around. Yeah, this is my living room alright. I turn around to look at the door, only to find it gone and replaced with a window. Like, it never existed in the first place. Uh… Okay, this is a new one for me. Teleporting doors are apparently a thing, or Pinkie Pie again. Probably best to err on the side of Pinkie Pie, much easier to understand that way.

“Blake?”

I shake my head and turn to the kitchen. Gathered around the table are the girls. I chuckle, reaching down to pet Sonja as she nuzzles up against my leg. “Well, you’re all here. Glad I don’t have to run around town to find you all.”

Twilight stands up from her seat. “Blake, we’re—”

I motion for her to sit back down. “Save it. None of you have anything to apologize for. You were worried about me, and I appreciate that, but you no longer need to worry. I’ve come to terms with what has happened to me and I’m ready to move forward with my life.”

“Are… Are you sure you’re gonna be alright?”

I smile and walk into the kitchen, leaning against the counter. “Positive. I had my own revelation, just needed somebody to make me realize it.”

“Oh, you’re talking about me!”

I roll my eyes. “Who else, Pinkie?”

“Would you… Care to discuss what that revelation was?”

I shake my head. “No,Rarity. As much as you think it would help me, I don’t think it would have the positive impact you’re expecting. You are my friends and family, yes, but some things need to be dealt with solo. In time, maybe, but for now, no.” I smile at them. “However, some things are better expressed in song, and I’ve been dying to get a new album out…”

“You’re making another album?! Awesome! When’s it coming out?”

I hold my hands up. “Woah, easy there, Rainbow. I’m planning on it, but I got to coordinate with everybody’s schedule to actually make it work. I can’t say for certain if and when it’ll be out.” I only expect a little resistance from Mac, but everybody else should be down for it. I jerk my head to the front door. “Why don’t you all head home for the day? I’ll figure out something we can do together in the meantime and put this day behind us.”

Trixie slowly stands up. “I may be new to this whole family thing and being there for others, but even I know ponies need somepony to talk to from time to time.” With nothing else to say, she leaves, everybody else following suit after her.

Once I hear the front door shut, I close my eyes. That went better than expected. They didn’t push for more info, but what Trixie had said obviously states they’re concerned about my well-being and maybe want to know more. She does have a point though… I shake my head. Whatever their intentions, it’s only for the best. However, I now need to come up with a suitable activity we could all enjoy.

“We haven’t done a movie night for a while.”

“Yeah, but I was hoping to do something different with them for a change. You know, be unique and different.”

“But movie night is kinda our thing, if you think about it. It’s all we’ve really done with them since you got here, to be honest.”

“Then it looks like that’s what I’m doing again.” For now though, I need to draft up some of the logistics for the album. Tomorrow, I’ll hit the band up and see what their schedules are. The sooner I get this off my chest, the better.

Author's Note

Took me long enough to get this one out, right?

Look Before You Sleep or Book Horse’s First Slumber Party

“Permanent Vacation”

Look Before You Sleep or Book Horse’s First Slumber Party

Yeah, looks like Rainbow’s gonna be waiting a bit longer for our album to be released. As I expected, Lyra and Spike showed no resistance to the idea, while Mac wanted to hold off a bit longer because it’s apparently the busy season for the Apple’s. Eh, gives me more time to work out the finer details with Vinyl then. I’m no artist, but I did sketch up some designs for the album cover and fitting names to be submitted for her approval.

With that idea derailed for the time being, I decide to head home and figure out my next course of action. I had promised Scootaloo before she went to school this morning that she could have a Crusader sleepover tonight… Which will definitely keep my hands full, now that I think about it. I could have thought about it before answering her, but after what I put her through, I’ve gotten into the mindset of just doing anything to keep her happy, even if it means flying by the seat of my pants most of the time… Scratch that, all the time.

“Yo, Blake!”

I look up to the sky at the source of the voice. “What’s up, Rainbow?”

She flies down, hovering on the ground in front of me. “Don’t know if you heard or not, but Ponyville’s scheduled for a massive storm tonight. You got things you want taken care of, you better do it this morning. You definitely don’t want to get caught out in this.”

I nod my head. “Thanks for the heads up. Why so massive though? Aren’t you guys supposed to manage the weather?”

She groans. “Yeah, but there was a mix up at the weather factory, meaning my job gets ten times harder because of somepony else’s screw up.”

I just roll my eyes. “Anything else I should know about? Like if I can still use everything in my house without the risk of electric shock?”

“Yeah… I think.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You think? That doesn’t give me tons of confidence.”

She rolls her eyes. “Then go ask Twilight if you don’t believe me. She’s probably got some egghead book that explains it. I gotta get back to work, but I’ll see you around.” With that, she flies back up into the air and heads off into the distance.

I shrug my shoulders and continue heading towards home, making a quick detour to Golden Oaks once I’m there. The downstairs is devoid of life, which is weird considering Twilight and Spike were here only a little bit ago. “Twilight?”

“I’m upstairs! I’ll be down in a sec!” True to her word, Twilight comes down the stairs a short while later. “Hello, Blake. What brings you back here? If you’re looking for Spike, I’m afraid Celestia wanted him in Canterlot.”

I shake my head. “Nah, I’m actually here with a question you might be able to answer.”

She smiles. “Of course! What would you like to know?”

I smile at her enthusiasm. It’s almost infectious in a way. “As you know, I have multiple electrical items converted to use magic now in my house, and I was recently informed of the major storm we’re getting. As such, would anything in my house be at risk of getting shocked should I use it during the storm?”

“Well, yes and no. It you have a sufficient lighting rod, such as the one installed on the top of the library, then you should be safe. Otherwise, I wouldn’t recommend it. ”

I raise an eyebrow and motion around me. “And living beside a giant tree, that is a lightning rod by nature, doesn’t count?”

She rubs the back of her head and lightly chuckles. “I mean, it should, but I still wouldn’t risk it without a lightning rod of your own.”

I sigh and close my eyes, rubbing my forehead. “And you wouldn’t happen to have a spare one lying around, would you? Or at least know where I can get one on short notice?”

“Sorry, I don’t have any more and the one here was already installed when I moved in.”

Guess that’s the next thing I’m buying then… Unless… I open my eyes and shrug my shoulders. “Eh, worth a shot at least. Thanks for answering that, Twilight. Stay safe tonight.” I turn and start heading for the door.

“You too. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”

“It’s cool. You did what you could.”

I step outside and pull the door shut before she can respond. Twilight might not have a spare lightning rod, but I’m pretty sure I know of another unicorn that might have one, and she’s pretty close. In fact, she’s right by my house. Since Trixie’s school is still under construction and she doesn’t have a true house yet, she’s still living out of her wagon parked next to my house.

Walking around to the backside of Golden Oaks, I see Trixie setting up a lightning rod beside her wagon. “Trixie!”

She pauses, turning towards me. “Blake! Are you ready for the storm tonight?”

I walk the distance between us so we don’t have to yell. “Well, not exactly…” I glance at the lightning rod.

She smirks. “For shame. With everything electric that you own in that house, I would have assumed you’d be better prepared for storms.”

I smile and roll my eyes. “We can’t all be perfect, Miss Great and Powerful. So, how’s about we set that thing up on my roof and you spend the night sleeping in a house with your family?”

She eyes the rod, then my house, and then me. “Okay. Let me set everything up and grab some things. I’ll see you inside shortly.”

With a nod of my head, I turn around and head inside my house. At least I got Trixie’s help to take care of and entertain the Crusaders. And with their endless need for crusading, I’m assuming that they’ve already worked out ways of trying for their Cutie Marks tonight. But I might just be able to distract them from that, if their ideas get too… Ambitious, to say the least.

I stare out the window as pegasi position dark colored clouds in the sky, creating a layer of clouds that blot out the sky above. The Crusaders should be arriving any moment now, but they are cutting it close.

“You know, staring out the window isn’t going to make them show up any faster.”

I glance over my shoulder at Trixie sitting on the couch, idly flipping through channels on the TV. With a sigh, I turn away from the window and sit down beside her. “I know, I know. It’s just that she’s my girl, and I worry about her safety.”

She reaches over and pats my leg. “Hey, you’re raising her. If anything, she should be more than capable of taking care of herself.” I smile at that. She’s right, but at the same time, I’ll always have to worry about her.

I hear the front door open. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SLEEPOVER!”

“Crusaders! Get in here, shut the door, and throw your stuff in Scoot’s room!”

“Okay!” They answer back in unison. I hear the door shut and the scrambling of their hooves as they rush to Scootaloo’s room to officially start their sleepover.

“See? Told you they’d be here.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, you were right Trixie. Sorry for being a parent that cares about the safety of his daughter. ”

She looks at me, a smirk on her face. “Aren’t I always right?”

I smirk. “Yes, of course you are, oh Great and Powerful one. What would the world be without someone like you in it?”

Trixie finally gives up on finding something to watch with a groan and puts the remote down on the coffee table. We sit in silence for a bit, idly listening to the sound of raindrops starting to hit the roof in force. “So… What now?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Whatever we want, I guess. You got anything in mind you want to do?”

She smiles and sits up straight, clapping her hands. “Ooh, I always wanted to have a pillow fight at a sleepover!” At my questioning gaze, she coughs into her hand. “I mean, since the last time I had one… As a filly. They’re just so much fun…”

I got a gut feeling she’s lying. “Trixie, have you never had a sleepover or a slumber party?”

She rolls her eyes. “Of course I have. Trixie was very popular as a filly. Everypony wanted Trixie at their sleepover.”

I’m not buying it, but I nod my head. “Sure, sure. What was your first one like?”

“Oh, you know. The usual stuff. Pillow fights, makeovers, spin the bottle…”

“Xiaolin showdown too?” I interject before she has a chance to continue.

She nods her head. “Yes, that too. What kind of sleepover would it be without that?”

I smirk. “Oh really? Cause it’s the name of a TV show from back home and a magical duel within the show. Not something I would expect at a sleepover. Wouldn’t you agree?”

She opens and close her mouth a few times, trying to formulate a response. She gives up and hangs her head. “Fine. Trixie has never been to a sleepover before.”

I can’t suppress the chuckle that escapes me. “Sorry, but I just had to make sure you were telling the truth. Why lie though?”

She wrings her hands together and fidgets. “Well… It’s kind of embarrassing for a mare my age to have never been to a sleepover. Isn’t that like some sort of rite of passage or something in any filly’s life?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I can’t answer that. Though if it makes you feel better, I’m positive Twilight’s never had one either.”

She glances at me, a small smile gracing her lips. “Yeah, that actually does help.”

I still do feel bad for her though, and it’ll hurt worse when she finds out Twilight is having one tonight. But I may be able to fix that right now… I stand up and grab her arm, yanking her towards Scootaloo’s room.

“What are you doing?!” She stumbles along behind me, but isn’t making any attempt to resist.

I knock on the door. “You got a sec, girls?”

“Sure! Come on in!” I open the door, seeing Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle rolling out their sleeping bags and Scootaloo sitting on her bed. “What’s up?”

I drag Trixie into the room and push her in front of me. “Trixie here has never had a sleepover before.”

The Crusaders collectively pause and slowly turn to stare at Trixie. “Ya what now?”

Trixie clasps her hands behind her back and kicks at the floor. “… I’ve never had a sleepover before.”

“Isn’t that something every filly does once in their life?”

“Like, yeah! Isn’t that some rite of passage or something?”

Trixie turns to me with a glare and motions to Sweetie and Scootaloo. “See? Even they know it’s pathetic!”

Apple Bloom stands up. “Hold up now. We ain’t ever said it’s pathetic.”

Scootaloo nods her head. “Yeah! It’s just… Weird, is all.”

I pat Trixie’s shoulder. “See? It’s not pathetic. You’re a unique case, much like Twilight… And Moondancer,” I mumble out the last part.

“I know!” Sweetie squeaks out. “You could join us tonight!”

“That’s not a bad idea, Sweetie! How’s about it, Trixie? Wanna join us?”

“Yeah! A sleepover with the Crusaders is way better than any normal sleepover!”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly intrude on your night, but I—” I reach up and flick her ear, causing her to yelp and cover it. “What was that for?!”

I motion to the Crusaders. “They’re openly inviting you to join them and experience something you missed out on as a child. Swallow your pride and enjoy it.”

Trixie crosses her arms. “Fine. Trixie will join your sleepover.”

I smile. “Perfect. I’ll leave you girls alone then. Have fun tonight.” I leave the room, shutting the door behind me as I make my way back to the kitchen to actually make the food for tonight, fresh fish sent straight from Baltimare, a side of rice, and steamed broccoli. While the stovetop is heating up, I hear Sonja whimper and feel her pawing at my leg. I glance down at her. “Sorry girl, but you gotta leave them alone for tonight.”

There’s a crack of thunder, and I hear a shriek from Scootaloo’s room and feel Sonja cling to my leg. I chuckle under my breath at whoever shrieked in there. It was remarkably high pitched, so if that didn’t come from Sweetie, I’d be shocked. I reach down with my hand and rub Sonja’s head. The saying all bark and no bite is pinpoint accurate with her. “It’s okay girl, you’re safe in here.” She only whimpers in response. After the basic prep work is done, I head into the living room and fire up the PlayStation 4, in the mood to replay Doom again. It’s here that I spend some time enjoying myself and drowning out the storm, occasionally heading back into the kitchen to continue cooking.

It’s been some time though, so I should really check up on the girls, lest I incur the wrath of Rarity and Applejack for not watching them better. I hear giggling and laughter as I near Scootaloo’s room, so I take it that’s a good sign. I get close to the door and press my ear against it. “Prepare to taste pillow justice, you fiend!”

“Never! Trixie’s defenses shall stand strong in the face of your onslaught! None shall get through!”

“We’ll see about that! Get her, girls!”

I stifle the chuckle trying to escape me. It seems like Trixie is taking to their sleepover easier than I expected. No doubt I’ll be cleaning up a mess here in a bit, and I don’t want to interrupt their fun, but dinner’s ready, so… I knock on the door. “Girls? Dinner’s ready.”

“Okay! Be there in five!”

I head back to the kitchen to finish plating the food and setting the table for everyone. I sit down in one of the chairs and wait, idly rubbing Sonja with my foot. It takes them a bit longer than five minutes to come out, but they come out nonetheless. Trixie sniffs the air. Before she asks her question, I answer her. “Fried fish, with rice and steamed broccoli. Healthy, not that any of you really care about that.”

Apple Bloom climbs into a chair and gingerly pokes the fish with a fork “Ah don’t think I’ve ever had fish before.”

“Eh, it’s more of a pegasi thing because of their avian nature, but it’s safe for consumption by other species.”

Scootaloo raises an eyebrow. “Avian? What’s that even mean?”

“Oh, I know this! It means birds!”

I nod my head. “Very good, Sweetie.”

Scootaloo shakes her head. “Whatever. Let’s eat, I’m starving!”

Scootaloo and I dig in, while everyone else cautiously picks at their fish. Sweetie is the first one of the three to actually put a piece in her mouth. I glance at her to see her slowly chewing it. After some time, she finally swallows. She pauses, and I wait with baited breath to see what she does next. She smiles and goes in for another piece. This apparently gives courage to Trixie and Apple Bloom since they put a piece into their mouths. Trixie swallows her piece first. “This is not at all what I expected to taste.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And what exactly did you expect to taste?” I shake my head before she can answer. “No, wait. I’ll take it as a compliment to my cooking.”

Apple Bloom picks up another piece. “Ya said pegasi normally eat this?” I nod my head, to which she shrugs her shoulders. “Ah don’t see why everypony doesn’t eat this more.”

I shrug my shoulders. “No idea, Bloom. But you’re eating it, and that’s what matters.”

While Trixie and I lapse into a silence, the Crusaders talk about their plans for the rest of the night. Before long, dinner is done and the girls run back to Scootaloo’s room, leaving me with the cleanup. Not that I can blame anyone of them. Once I finish cleaning up, I head into the living room and lie down on the couch, flipping on the TV and slowly browsing through channels. I stop on what appears to be a show about the Power Ponies. Eh, not much else to watch, so let’s see what they call quality cartoons here.

“Dad…”

That moan can only mean one thing. I pause the TV and glance over my shoulder. “Yeah? What is it, Scoots?”

“We’re bored.”

I stifle a chuckle. I figured something like this would happen. “You’ve done everything you could think of?”

“Yeah. Trixie isn’t much help for ideas here, so I figured you’d have an idea.”

“You try giving each other makeovers yet? That’s pretty common enough for fillies to do at slumber parties.”

I don’t need to turn around to see her face scrunched up and tongue sticking out. “Bleh. Too girly.”

“You’ll never know if you like it if you don’t try.”

“Yeah, yeah, try new things, I get it. Like you’d even have any makeup though.”

I blink. Yeah… My supposed trump card to keep them out of my hair had a teensy little oversight. But it’s a fixable oversight nonetheless. I stand up and feel a couple of joints crack. “Scootaloo, go back to your room. I’ll have something else for you in a bit.”

“Alright, just don’t take too long. I don’t want my first sleepover at my house to be lame.”

I glance over my shoulder at her. “We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” She just smirks and rolls her eyes, walking back to her room. I close my eyes and concentrate on the interior of Golden Oaks. I feel the tugging sensation of teleportation, and open my eyes, only to be greeted by a smack to the face with a pillow. I blink, and then look down at the pillow. Ah, pillow fight, or I surprised them and someone threw the first thing they grabbed.

“Blake?” I look up. Rarity, wearing a purple negligee with Twilight’s Cutie Mark emblazoned on the bottom of it, stands there with a couple of pillows floating around her. I glance over my shoulder at Applejack, who is wearing a purple halter top and purple shorts, also bearing Twilight’s Cutie Mark. To my left, I see Twilight sitting on the floor with a book in her hands. She wears, unsurprisingly, a purple sweater and sweatpants.

“Hey Twilight, how goes your first sleepover?” She opens her mouth, but I continue. “Good, great. Listen, I’m here on business actually.” I look at Rarity. “Rarity, where do you keep your makeup in your house, and mind if I borrow some of it for the night?”

“…I’m sorry, but what?”

“Your makeup supplies, where do you keep them, and can I borrow them?”

She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times. “In my room on top of my dresser in a red box, and I don’t see why not. But whatever reason would you have for them?”

I hear a snicker from Applejack. “Don’t tell us ya like to—”

“Finish that sentence and you’ll regret it, and the Crusaders are bored and need something else to do.”

Rarity nods her head. “Ah. Very well then, take the entire box to them.”

“Thank you. I’ll pay ya back for whatever they use up.”

She shakes her head. “No need for that. I have more than enough, and one box won’t hurt. Consider it as a gift for their next sleepover.”

I smile. Such generosity is unheard of, yet easy to prey on. She’ll learn that eventually. “Again, thank you for it. Enjoy the rest of the night everyone.” I close my eyes. “And one more thing. Whatever you’re arguing about, Applejack and Rarity, figure out the problem and get over it.” With that, I teleport to Carousel Boutique before one of them can question me.

I open my eyes, the moonlight filtering in through the curtains providing the barest minimal light needed to see. I raise my hand up and focus on drawing in as much light as possible from the room into a shining sphere. The sphere floats in the air by my head, now serving as portable light source till it’s dispelled. Satisfied, I glance around the showroom floor. From a dark corner, I spot two yellow eyes staring at me. Ah, Opal. “Opal, where’s Rarity’s room? She’s letting me borrow something.” Opal slowly saunters out into the open, stopping at my feet before turning her head away and licking her paw. I cross my arms. Right, asking a cat to show me its master’s room. I shake my head and walk away. Let’s see… Upstairs? I find the stairs and climb them, coming to a foyer like landing with a couple of doors. Since there’s no more stairs, one of these doors must lead to Rarity’s room… Unless it’s downstairs.

I pick the door on my left to start with. I peek inside and see a room that is, for lack of better words, an utter mess. Okay, that’s her inspiration room. What’s behind the next door? I walk over to the next door and peek in this one. A standard, yet still elegant in some regards, bedroom is on the other side. For some reason, I was expecting something a bit more… Extravagant, when it comes to a bedroom for Rarity. This one seems almost subdued, like it’s suited for… a child. Ah, Sweetie’s room. Damn, she’s got some nice furniture in here, better than most kids at least. Door number three might be what I’m looking for then.

I peek in this door, and finally see what I’m expecting, a massive four poster bed with pink sheer curtains hanging down from the left and right sides. With a bed this fancy, this has got to be Rarity’s room. Let’s see… Ah, there it is. I float the box over to me and peek inside. Standard makeup supplies with names I won’t even try to pronounce are neatly arranged and stacked rest inside. I close the box up and take one more look around the room. Hmm… I could… No, no. Restrain yourself, Blake.

“What’s the harm in peeking? I’m sure we could find some… Intimate items.”

“Very tempting offer, and believe me, I’m curious what kind of secrets she keeps… But this is her privacy.”

“Didn’t stop them from coming into your house and searching your stuff when you were gone meeting the Elements.”

I bite my lip. “…Fair point. But that doesn’t mean I should do it. I’m sure if the roles were reversed, we’d be doing the same thing.”

“Fine then. Don’t go snooping around and find some potentially juicy secrets.”

With a smirk, I close the door to Rarity’s room and focus on home. I blink, Rarity’s room replaced with my living room. I glance at the clock and smirk. Not even five minutes. I head over to Scootaloo’s room and knock on the door. “I got something for you all.”

“Finally!” Scootaloo groans out.

I open the door and hold the box out. “A box of makeup supplies for you.” Everyone raises an eyebrow at me. “And before you ask, no, it’s not mine. It’s a gift from Rarity’s personal stash for your future sleepovers here.”

Sweetie gasps. “That’s from Rarity?! She never lets me use anything from her personal collection!”

Trixie still has her eyebrow raised. “You walked all the way over to Carousel Boutique in this rain?”

I roll my eyes. “Hell no. Teleportation is a wonderful spell to know on days like this.” Trixie shrugs her shoulders and takes the box from my hands, setting it on the floor and carefully pulling out each piece. “I’m gonna leave you alone now. Enjoy, remember to thank Rarity when you see her, and all that jazz.” I close the door and go back to watching TV in the living room, lying on the couch with Sonja curled up at my feet.

It’s some time later that I hear a massive crack from outside, followed by something creaking. I idly head over to the window and watch a tree fall away from Golden Oaks, only for a rope to lasso around it and pull it back towards Golden Oaks, causing the tree to fall into it. Come to think of it, was that tree always there beside the library? I could’ve sworn it wasn’t, but I digress. With a yawn, I turn off the TV and head back to my room. I pause at Scootaloo’s door and listen. Hmm… Not a sound... Yeah, that worries me more than it probably should.

I gingerly push open the door and peek inside the dimly lit room, smiling at the sight of everyone fast asleep. I glance down at Sonja and open the door just wide enough for her to squeeze in. I watch as she heads over to the foot of Scootaloo’s bed and lies down. Smile still on my face, I shut the door and head the rest of the way to my room. A quick change of clothes and crawling under the covers is enough to put me to sleep.

The next morning, I’m up bright and early. It’s as I’m making breakfast of homemade waffles that my first guest is up. “Morning, Trixie.” She mumbles something back that I don’t quite catch. “Coffee to wake you up?” I levitate the pot of coffee, two cups, and a plate of waffles towards the table, and then sit down at the table as Trixie sits down across from me. Wordlessly, she grabs a cup and pours herself some coffee. She brings the cup to her lips and takes a little sip, a content sigh escaping her lips one she swallows.

“Trixie needed that.”

I chuckle. “I figured you’d might. After all, a slumber party can really tire one out. How was your first one anyway?”

She grabs the plate of waffles, pulling them towards her. Before she can ask, I already have the butter and syrup bottle levitating towards the table. She forgoes the butter in favor of a generous helping of syrup. “Great, but only because I was there to make it great.” She laughs after saying that.

I smirk. “Need I remind you that it only happened because of the Crusader’s sleeping over?”

She smirks. “Every great magician needs an assistant or three.”

“Morning, Blake, Trixie.”

“Morning, Apple Bloom. Take a seat, waffles will be ready shortly.” I stand up and head back to the waffle iron to prepare another batch.

“Morning, Apple Bloom. Tell Blake here how much better our slumber party was because of me.”

Apple Bloom giggles. “It was the best slumber party to date, all because Trixie was there.”

I roll my eyes, but laugh all the same. “I have no doubt about that. Where are the rest of the Crusaders?”

“Scoots is still sleeping, and Sweetie needs to ‘freshen up like ah proper mare like Rarity taught her’, whatever that means.”

I smirk. “Scootaloo still sleeping? No, I hardly believe that.” I glance at the clock. “But she’s been sleeping long enough. Bloom, go wake her up please. If she fights ya, threaten to dump a bucket of ice water on her.”

“Can do.” I slide another plate of waffles on the table for Apple Bloom, along with three cups and a container of orange juice, as she leaves the room.

“Morning!”

I glance over my shoulder. “You’re in a chipper mood this morning, Sweetie. Guess that proper lady freshen up thing really does wonders.”

“Yeah! Like Rarity says, you can’t take care of others until you take care of yourself.”

Trixie giggles. “Or maybe she uses it as an excuse to beautify herself.”

“Well… I mean, yeah. There’s that too.”

I stifle a chuckle. Even Sweetie can see through the veil Rarity wears. “Take a seat, Sweetie. I’ll have food for ya in bit here.”

There’s a groan, causing me to look towards its source. “Why’d you have to get me up so early?” Scootaloo says while rubbing her eyes, as Apple Bloom walks around her and retakes her place at the table.

“So that you’d have more time today to crusade for Cutie Marks?”

Scootaloo stares at me for a bit, and then shrugs her shoulders. “Okay, a good enough reason as any, I guess.”

I jerk my head towards the table. “Take a seat, grab something to drink, and food will be ready in a moment.” I turn my attention back to cooking, even though there really isn’t much that I can do other than pouring the batter and taking the waffles out. Within a short while, I have a stack of waffles for Sweetie, Scootaloo, and I.

As we eat, I catch Apple Bloom pause mid bite as she stares out the window. “What happened out there?”

Everyone else looks out the window. I was wondering how long it would take before someone noticed the giant tree snapped in half outside. “Lightning struck the tree, snapped it in half, and the upper half fell onto Golden Oaks.”

Sweetie jumps up from her chair and runs to the window. “Oh no! Are Twilight and Spike alright?!”

I nod my head. “Spike’s in Canterlot, and Twilight’s just fine. She had Rarity and Applejack there to help her out.”

Trixie raises an eyebrow. “How can you be so sure about that?”

I cock my head. “So sure about… Which part there, exactly?”

“Twilight being fine… And now that I think about it, Rarity and Applejack being at Twilight’s. How do you know they were even there?”

“Hey… Why was mah sister and Rarity at Twilight’s anyway? I thought Rarity was at her place, since you went there to ask her for the makeup and all last night.”

I roll my eyes, but allow a small smirk to cross my face. “Honestly, Trixie, if something happened to Twilight, I’m sure someone would have been banging on my door by now to inform us.”

Trixie pauses for a moment, seeming to consider my words. “Okay, true. But that doesn’t explain how you knew Rarity and Applejack were at Twilight’s.”

“…Were you spying on them?” All eyes turn to Scootaloo. “What? It’s a valid question!”

I drum my fingers on the table. How do I want to play this one? “When the storm first started, I saw the two of them run into Golden Oaks to take shelter. I haven’t the faintest clue as to why they’d be out still, but nevertheless, they were.” Not the whole truth, but partial enough that it’s believable.

Apple Bloom nods her head. “Okay, yeah, that makes sense. And ah can see Applejack helping to clean up the tree, but Rarity? No offense, Sweetie.”

Sweetie just smiles. “None taken! You’ve seen how my sister gets when it comes to getting dirty.”

I laugh. “True, true. But I don’t see a giant hole in Twilight’s house with a tree sticking out of it, so they obviously took care of it. Now, ignore the scene outside and finish eating. I’m sure Rarity and Applejack will be along shortly to get you two, and then you can ask all the questions you want then.”

One breakfast is finished, I send the girls of to clean up whatever mess they made and to pack up their stuff. Once I clean up what I can in the kitchen, I head to the front door to bring Sonja back in. I open the door, Sonja darting it quick, and see Rarity and Applejack on the other side. Applejack has her hand raised, looking as if she was ready to knock on the door. She shrugs her shoulders and lowers her hand. “Morning, Blake.”

“Good morning, Blake. Did you sleep well?”

“Morning to you both too. Please, come in for a sec. The Crusaders are cleaning up and packing their stuff as we speak.” I stand aside so they can enter. Once they’re both in, I shut the door and motion them towards the kitchen. “And yes, I did sleep well. But I think I should be the one asking you that question.”

“Why?” Rarity asks as she sits down, declining a cup of coffee with a shake of her head. Applejack, on the other hand, nods her head, so I slide her a cup.

“Well, for starters, the fact you two were arguing and stuck in a building with each other since yesterday. And,” I point out the window, both of them looking at what I’m pointing at, “The fact that a tree fell onto Golden Oaks.”

Applejack pulls her hat down over her eyes. “Ah’ll be the first to admit, it was stupid of us to be arguing and ruining Twilight’s first slumber party.” Rarity nods her head. “But Rarity and I came to an understanding.”

I smirk. “And pray tell, what was that understanding? To accept each other for your differences, even if it doesn’t exactly jive with your lifestyle choices?”

They glance at each other, Applejack taking a swig of her coffee. “Not exactly what Twilight said, but in essence, yes.” Rarity says.

I nod my head. “Good, good. I’d hate to see something as your lifestyle choices break up a friendship. Hold on a sec, I’ll get the Crusaders so you two can be on your merry way. Girls! Get your stuff! Applejack and Rarity are here!”

The Crusaders and Trixie come out into the kitchen. “Why, I didn’t know you were here, Trixie. Did you happen to spend the night here?”

Trixie opens her mouth, but Sweetie answers for her. “Yeah she did! She helped us with our sleepover!”

Rarity smiles. “That’s wonderful to hear. Did they behave for you then?”

Trixie roll her eyes, but smiles. “Of course they did. They’d not dare to incur the wrath of Trixie.”

Scootaloo smirks. “She said the same thing right before she lost the pillow fight.”

Trixie glares at Scootaloo while the rest of us laugh. “Well, it’s been good and all, and thank ya kindly for the coffee, Blake,” Applejack downs the rest of her coffee, “But we’d best be getting back to the farm. Ready to go, Bloom?” Apple Bloom nods her head.

“And I’m afraid we must be off too. Sweetie, are you ready as well?”

“Yeah, sis!”

I smile. “Then by all means, go. It was a pleasure having the Crusaders over.” Pleasantries are exchanged, and the Crusaders promise each other to meet up again soon for another sleepover. Once my guests, minus Trixie, leave, I head back into the living room and sit down on the couch. With a sigh, I close my eyes and lean my head back.

“So… What now?”

I open my eyes and glance at Trixie. “What do you mean, what now?”

She scratches the back of her head. “You know… Like, what do we do now?”

I sit up and look at Scootaloo. She looks back at me, and a grin slowly spreads across our faces. She’s gotta be thinking what I’m thinking. “Trixie, wanna play some video games?” Scootaloo asks. I can’t help but laugh. Yep, that’s definitely my daughter.

Author's Note

Happy Fourth of July everybody! In honor of America, have a song!

Stare Master or Twilight Gets Stoned

“Permanent Vacation”

Stare Master or Twilight Gets Stoned

“Hey, Dad. Can I go to Sweetie’s sleepover tonight?”

I glance up from reading the newspaper at Scootaloo. “When did this come up, and when were you planning on telling me?”

She rubs the back of her head. “Heh. Sweetie brought it up yesterday and I kinda, maybe forgot to tell you right away.

I sigh and shake my head, but smirk anyway. “Fine. Go enjoy yourself tonight, and don’t give Rarity too much trouble.”

“Thanks, Dad! I’ll see you tomorrow!” Before I can respond, she’s out the door.

I roll my eyes and smile, turning my attention back to the newspaper. Frankly, I could care less about the articles, save for one. Trixie’s School for the Performing Arts (She finally settled on the name after some gentle nudging from outside parties) was due to be opening in Ponyville soon, and already ponies were applying to be students or have a job as part of the faculty. With a smile, I briefly scan the article for anything that I didn’t already know. Finding nothing, I fold the paper up and toss it in the trash.

I think we need to have a little celebration in honor of Trixie tonight. Time to hit up the girls and see who’s available. With a spring in my step, and Sonja’s too, we head out into the fresh morning air. Since it’s the closest, the first stop is Golden Oaks. I push open the door and walk in. “Twilight! Spike! You here?”

“Well, obviously she or Spike is. They wouldn’t leave the door to the place unlocked if they were both out.”

“In the kitchen!” I head over to the kitchen, finding Twilight sitting at her table. “Morning, Blake, Sonja. Want something to eat or drink?”

I shake my head. “Nah, I already ate. Thanks for the offer though.” I jerk my head towards Sonja. “You can feed her attention though.”

She giggles. “Of course. Come here, Sonja.” Sonja eagerly makes her way over to Twilight and sits at her feet. Twilight reaches down and starts rubbing the back of Sonja’s head. “You hungry?” Sonja’s ears perk up. “Alright if I give her some food?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t see why not.”

With her free hand, Twilight grabs a small piece of toast off her plate and holds it down near Sonja. Sonja gingerly takes it from her hand, then quickly backs away to wolf it down. Twilight just smiles. “So, what did you need? I don’t think you came here just for a piece of toast for Sonja.”

I chuckle. “Nah, I actually came to invite you to a little celebration.”

“Oh? What’s the occasion?”

“I’m sure you read the paper this morning?”

She nods her head. “Of course. I read it everyday.” She snaps her fingers. “Oh, are you talking about Trixie’s school?”

I nod my head. “Yep. It’s a momentous occasion for her, so why not celebrate it?”

“It’s a wonderful idea, but I won’t be able to attend. I’m supposed to be meeting Zecora today. She’s giving me some lessons on zebra potion making and some insight into her culture.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Okay, was worth a shot though. I’ll be seeing you around then. Enjoy your time with Zecora.”

“I will, as long as you enjoy your celebration tonight.”

I smirk. “Oh, we will, Twilight, we will.” With a whistle, I turn around and head for the front door. I hold it open as Sonja heads out, stepping out after her and shutting the door behind me. Now, who would be the most logical to head to next? I’m saving Trixie for last, so she’s out. Hmm… Today might be the day Applejack’s at the market, so looks like she’s next. As I walk, I idly hum to myself. It’s a nice day, positively brimming with sunshine. Maybe I’ll spend some time outside today after all.

“So, I hear you’re planning a party for Trixie?”

I look to my right. It’s somewhat unnerving how Pinkie is able to sneak up on anyone without them knowing. I nod my head. “Yes, I am. How’d you know?” …I instantly regret asking that after the words leave my mouth.

She giggles. “Pinkie Sense, duh!”

I sigh, but smile anyway. “Should have known there’s a Pinkie Sense for that. What’s the signs?”

“No signs, I’m just messing with you! I actually overheard you and Twilight talking.” I raise an eyebrow at that. We were inside the library, and to my knowledge, there wasn’t any windows open. Not gonna ask.

“But I am! So, how’d you hear them, Pinkie?”

“…Why you gotta start shit?”

“Just to see you squirm.”

She giggles. “Oh, that’s an easy one! I was actually refilling my party stashes inside the library!”

“…Party stashes?”

She nods her head. “Uh huh!” I stare at her. “What? You thought they magically refill themselves?”

I shake my head. “No… I’m just questioning how many of these stashes you have, just for parties only, and how many of them you have stashed in my house.” I place a finger to her lips before she can speak. “But I honestly don’t care how many there are, or where they are, as long as they don’t interfere with my life.” I slowly pull my finger away from her mouth.

“Okie dokie then! So, how big a party you gonna throw?”

“Nothing major. Just a little get together with you girls and Trixie, maybe Vinyl too if she’s up for it.”

Pinkie seems to pout a little, but the bubbly smile returns to her as fast as it disappeared. “Small parties can still be fun! Who else have you talked to?”

“As of right now, just you and Twilight. I’m heading to Applejack’s market stand right now, and then I’ll head over to Vinyl’s.”

She nods her head. “Okay! I’m always up for a party! I’ll go see if everypony else is able to come! Don’t you worry, Blake! Pinkie Pie, party planner extraordinaire, is going to make sure this party goes exactly according to plan!”

“Pinkie, you don’t—” And she’s gone, a pink blur dashing away. Well… Guess my work here is done? If she’s handling who’s coming, then I got nothing else to do. With a shrug, I figure I should go see Trixie’s school. I haven’t seen the progress on it since the foundation was laid.

Due to how limited building space is in town, the school itself is situated on the same path to the Ponyville schoolhouse. So with a little concentration, I teleport Sonja and myself to the schoolhouse. Classes are in session, so I don’t disturb anybody as I materialize on the front lawn and start walking down the road. Sticking to it, I follow it back towards Ponyville till the sounds of construction become clear. Right before an offshoot in the road is the sign directing me towards my left that this is the direction to follow if I want to reach the school.

While it isn’t finished, I still give a whistle of appreciation to what I see as the school comes into view. The outside is done, so most of the sounds I’m hearing must be coming from inside. It takes a bit, but I finally realize that the overall architecture is strangely reminiscent of Canterlot High. Huh, that’s… Weird, I must say. “Come to bask in Trixie’s school?”

I tear my eyes away from the school to look at Trixie, Sonja already at her feet and getting some well-deserved attention from Trixie. “Of course. Wanted to see how extravagant the school really was. I’m curious though, where’d you get the idea for the design? It seems so out of place when compared to the rest of Ponyville.”

“Would you believe me if I said it came from a dream?” I nod my head, prompting her to continue. “It was so vivid that I could recall every detail of the exterior. At first, I was hesitant to even consider it, simply because of how different it was from the rest of Ponyville. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. This school is meant to be a place for the performing arts. That means being unique and different from everypony else, and being free to express yourself. The students can’t be that if the school isn’t like that.”

I smile. “A wise choice, I must say.”

“Oh, I need to show you something too. You’re gonna love this.” Trixie grabs my hands and start pulling me towards the back of the school. She takes me to the top of a little hillside and lets go of my hand. “Well, what do you think?”

Nestled at the bottom of the hill is a massive amphitheater. With a grin, I teleport down to the stage, turning around to gaze out at the rows upon rows of seats built into the side of the hill. There’s even enough aerial space for any pegasi to move clouds in to sit on instead. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Even now, I can hear the crowds calling my name and screaming for more.

A hand on my shoulder snaps me out of my fantasy. “So…?”

I smile. “You didn’t do this just for me, did you?”

Trixie rolls her eyes. “Of course not. What type of performing arts school would this be without a stage to perform on?” She then smirks. “However, if non-students wish to perform here too, Trixie won’t stop them.”

I smirk. “And you want the first use of it to be by me?”

“Like I said, Trixie won’t say no.”

Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. “Come on, Trixie. I know you better than you think. There’s some ulterior motive here.”

She scoffs, closing her eyes and placing a hand to her chest while looking away. “Trixie should be insulted that you’d even insinuate such a thing! Trixie is merely informing you of her brand new stage for performances.”

I chuckle. “Come now, Trixie. Just come clean already. Or need I remind you that you schemed just to steal a jar of peanut butter from me?”

She points a finger at me. “Successfully, I’ll add!”

I shake my head. “Not something you should be proud of.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, I’ll take what little victories I get.”

“Now, what is it that you want?”

She huffs and crosses her arms. “You take the fun out of some things, you know?”

I nod my head. “I do. Now quit stalling.”

“Fine. Would you be willing to guest lecture at times? It’ll generate great publicity, and I’ll let you be the first one to use the stage.”

I pause. Honestly, wasn’t expecting this. I’m no teacher, let alone an expert in my field, but like Trixie said, it’ll generate great publicity… I nod my head. “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

She smiles. “I figured you wouldn’t say no.”

I roll my eyes and chuckle. “Right, cause you know me so well. Then tell me why I’m really here.”

“You’re here to tell me that you’re throwing a party tonight to celebrate the school being almost complete and my success in life so far, and you want me to be there.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Uh… Yeah. How’d you…?” I pause. “Pinkie told you already, didn’t she?”

She laughs. “Of course she did!”

I sigh and roll my eyes. “Well, so much for me being the one to surprise you. I take it you didn’t decline?”

“Me? Refuse a chance to be in the spotlight, basking in the adoration of ponies? Surely you must be joking?”

I nod my head and smirk. “Right, right. The great Trixie never misses a chance to be the center of attention. Then I expect for you to be at the party.” I teleport back up to where Sonja rests on the hillside. I pat my hip for Sonja to heel, and begin focusing on making the leap to home.

“Um… Actually…” I stop focusing and glance over my shoulder at Trixie. “Pinkie maybe neglected to give me all the details… Such as where and when.”

There’s a rumbling sound that’s coming from the ground. A few seconds later, a hole opens up and Pinkie pokes her head out, dirt coating her face and hair. She also has a mining hat on her head. “Ohhh, yeah, that’d be helpful to know!”

“Six, and my place.”

“Okie dokie then! I’ll make sure to tell everypony else that from now on!” She disappears back into the hole. Before I can look down into it, it’s filled back up with dirt.

“Well, there’s your answer.” I turn my attention back to Trixie. “Anything else you’d like to know?”

Trixie just stares at where the hole was. “Uh… Has she… Always been able too…?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Probably. I mean, it is Pinkie. If you’re gonna live here, I suggest you learn the first rule of Pinkie. Don’t ever question the logic or abilities of Pinkie Pie.”

Trixie shakes her head. “But she just dug a tunnel from here to wherever at speeds nopony should be able to and without any visible equipment!”

I chuckle. “Like I said, don’t question it. Yes, it makes my brain hurt and is not logical, but trying to understand it is more pain than it’s worth.”

She sighs. “Something I have to look forward to, I suppose. How do you deal with it anyway?”

I smile. “Ignorance is bliss. Also, the occasional drink of something. Helps to forget what it is I want to forget.”

“…There gonna be some of these drinks tonight?” I nod my head. “Good, because I’m gonna need it.”

“Right… Well, I’m gonna leave you be, what with me actually having to get everything ready for the party, but I’ll see you later.” A quick teleport later, and I’m back inside my house. I’ve got a lot to do in such a short amount of time, so better get started now.

I’m so engrossed in finishing up everything for the party that I don’t even realize what time it is until Sonja barks to inform me of someone at the door. I glance up at the clock. Wow, a quarter till six. Time really flew by. I head to the front door and open it. “You’re early.”

“Trixie wanted to be absolutely sure she was the first one to get to her party.”

I smirk and lean on the door frame. “Pretty sure you got beat in that regard. In the time it took for me to answer the door, Pinkie probably got inside somehow and will be sitting in the kitchen with all the food and drinks.” I stand aside and motion for her to come in.

She scoffs as she steps inside, as I shut the door behind her. “Please, nopony else has arrived yet, I know that… For…” Her words die as I watch her enter the kitchen.

Unable to suppress a giggle, I follow her into the kitchen. Pinkie has wrapped a now wide eyed Trixie in a hug. “Congratulation on your new school and job, Trixie! I’m super-duper happy for you!” Pinkie let’s Trixie go and looks behind her at me. “Hi, Blake! Wow, you’re getting really good at guessing what I’m gonna do! It’s like you know before I do!”

I smile. “I guess I must be good at guessing then, Pinkie.” I walk in front of Trixie and snap my fingers. She blinks her eyes and shakes her head. “Those drinks I said about earlier? On the counter, mix them yourself.” I managed to have enough time to head out and stock up on a bit of alcohol for tonight. Nothing top shelf, mind you, and some common mixer ingredients I deemed sufficient enough to suit everyone, plus some non alcoholic stuff to add some variety.

“Yeah… Yeah, that’d be great right now.” She walks over and starts combining some things with what seems is practiced ease.

Pinkie comes over to my left side and leans on my shoulder, watching Trixie. “Soooo… Think I broke her too soon?”

I turn my head to look at Pinkie, noting the coy smile she has on her face. Oh, she know’s exactly what she did. “Nah, better to start early than to have another Twilight incident on our hands. Just… Try not to break her too much, please? I really don’t want her to be drinking herself into a stupor.”

“Okay, dialing it back down to eleven!”

I hear a knock on the door. “Okay then… Why don’t you, Uh… Get some food and something to drink and enjoy yourself while I go get the door.”

She giggles and makes a beeline for the food. “Already enjoying myself!”

“Keep her away from the alcohol, please. I don’t want to know what a drunk Pinkie can do.”

“Duly noted.”

I go to the door and answer it. Vinyl and Rainbow are waiting on the other side. “Heard you’re throwing a party.”

I smirk. “That I am, Rainbow, that I am. Come in.” I stand aside for them both.

Rainbow wastes no time in going to the kitchen. “Aw geez! You’re already starting, Trixie?! You could have at least waited till everypony else was here!”

Vinyl glances at me. “She started what, exactly?”

“First introduction to Pinkie Pie reality warping, and I provided booze. Not that hard to figure out what happens next.”

Vinyl nods her head. “Ah. The only logical response to being introduced to that side of Pinkie for the first time.”

I can’t help laughing. “All too true.” As I go to shut the door behind Vinyl, an aquamarine hand grabs the door. I motion for Vinyl to get going while I pull the door open once more.

“We too late for the party?”

I shake my head. “Actually, you’re ahead of schedule, Lyra.” I turn my attention to the other mare with Lyra. Greenish grey skin, cobalt and fuchsia hair reminiscent of Sweetie Belle, and wearing white shorts with a belt buckle in the shape of a wrapped candy, and a sky blue shirt with three more wrapped candies on it under a white jacket. Only one person who this could be. “And you must be Bon-Bon.”

Bon-Bon nods her head. “Ponyville’s only candy maker extraordinaire, and lover of this troublemaker.” She reaches up and tousles Lyra’s hair. She forgot to add in ex-secret agent to that list, but surely I wouldn’t know anything about that, nor would I divulge any info if I knew anything, which I don’t.

Lyra swats her hand away. “Oh, don’t act like you don’t enjoy bailing me out of trouble.”

Bon-Bon smirks. “Well, I won’t deny that there’s a certain appeal to it.”

I can’t help smirking at the sight before me. These two are definitely ‘Best Friends’. “Come on in before you two ravage each other on my front lawn.”

“Tempting offer, but we’re not dressed for it.” Bon-Bon gingerly closes my mouth for me as she walks by me into the house. Damn… I like this girl. Although I thought she would be the voice of reason to Lyra.

“If she wasn’t taken, I’d tell you to be all over that!”

Lyra giggles. “Now you see why I love her.” I nod my head as Lyra follows Bon-Bon into the house. I shake my head and close the door. The people I make friends with sometimes makes me question my own sanity.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and idly take a sip from it. All in all, things went smoothly. Everyone had a good time, I managed to clean the place up, and got some decent sleep. Not a bad night, I’d say. Everyone was also sober enough to leave of their own volition. A knock on the door draws my attention. I blink. Huh, wonder who that could be? Scootaloo wouldn’t be home yet. Setting my coffee down, I go to the door and open it. “Ah, morning, Rarity. Here to drop off Scootaloo?”

She smiles. “And a good morning to you too. I’m actually on my way to pick up the Crusaders from their sleepover. Would you care to join me?”

I raise an eyebrow. “I thought they were having that over at your place?”

“That was the plan, yes, but I got so behind on orders that I wouldn’t be able to work and chaperone them.”

I lean against the doorframe. “So… Where are they then?”

“Why, with Fluttershy. She offered to let the Crusaders have their sleepover at her home instead.”

I stare at her. “With… Fluttershy…”

She tilts her head. “Yes. Is something the matter? Fluttershy assured me they’d be no trouble for her, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

I shake my head. “Oh, I’m not worried about her ability to chaperone, believe me, but you do know what kind of trouble those three get into when crusading, and considering the fact they’re extremely close to the Everfree…”

The smile on Rarity’s face slowly drops to a frown. “Well, I do see your concern…”

I sigh. “Stand still, I’ll teleport us there.” I step outside, shut the front door, and focus on Fluttershy’s cottage. More specifically, the bridge across the stream out front. With a bit of extra power because of bringing Rarity along, I feel the familiar sensation of teleportation yank on my being.

I do a quick glance around. Yep, right on target. I hear laughter from around the back of the cottage, and Rarity must have too since she’s already making her way there. I catch up to Rarity, and together, we round the corner. The Crusaders themselves are running around and playing what looks to be tag, while Twilight and Fluttershy sit at a table drinking tea and talking.

“Good morning, Fluttershy, Twilight,” Rarity says.

They both look at us. “Good morning.”

“Oh, good morning.”

I nod my head. “Morning to you both.” I turn my attention to Twilight. “Didn’t expect you here, Twilight.”

She rubs the back of her head and looks away. “Neither did I. It’s kinda a long story.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh? Tell me in a bit here. First,” I look at Fluttershy, “I trust you had no trouble with the Crusaders?”

She giggles. “Oh, they were perfect little angels.”

Rarity and I share a glance. “Forgive us dear if we find that hard to believe.”

I shake my head. “But, you were the one in charge of them. If they behaved for you, so be it.”

“Well, I do suppose you’re right, Blake. And I’m terribly sorry, but I’m afraid I need to get back to the Boutique. Fashion to create and ideas that need inspiration and all that. Girls!” The Crusaders keep playing. “Girls! Please, we need to get going!”

Fluttershy stands up from her seat. “Girls.”

The Crusaders stop what they’re doing and line up in front of Fluttershy. “Yes, Fluttershy?” They say in unison. I raise an eyebrow and glance at Rarity, her eyes wide and mouth open.

“Blake and Rarity are here to take you home. Please get everything you brought together so they can take you home.”

“Okay, Fluttershy!” The Crusaders run into the Cottage, leaving us alone.

I turn to Fluttershy. “Okay, spill the beans. What did they do, and what did you do to get them to listen to you like that?”

“Umm… Please don’t be mad, but they… Went into the Everfree forest.”

“They did what?!” I cringe at Rarity’s shriek.

I raise an eyebrow. “For what reason?”

“Elizabeak, one of my chickens, got loose and ran into the Everfree. I don’t know how or when, but they snuck out when I wasn’t looking to go after her.”

“And… That doesn’t explain how you got them to listen to you.”

“I was getting to that. Once I saw they were gone, I followed them into the Everfree. I didn’t find them right away, but I did find Twilight turned to stone.”

“I’m terribly sorry, but did I hear you right, Fluttershy? Twilight turned to stone?”

Twilight nods her head. “Yes, you heard right. On my way back from Zecora’s, I ran into a cockatrice. By the time I realized what it was, it was too late for me to do anything.”

I can’t suppress the smirk on my face. “So, you’re saying you got stoned?”

“Turned to stone, yes.”

I shake my head. “Nah, it’s funnier if you say stoned, but please continue.”

“After I found Twilight, I realized what was out there and looked harder for the girls. I found them just in time too, because the cockatrice showed up and turned Elizabeak to stone.”

“Oh my stars. What happened next?”

Fluttershy kicks the ground with a hoof and looks at Twilight. “Well… I stared it down.”

I blink. “Okay, you stared it down? What the hell does that mean? It’s a cockatrice, something you’re not supposed to look at.”

“Umm… I have this thing with my animals where I stare at them if they’re unruly to get them to listen. I guess I did the same thing with the cockatrice.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You guess?”

She nods her head. “It really became a blur once I saw how frightened the Crusaders were. Anyway, it backed off and turned everypony, and chicken, back to normal.”

I nod my head. “And the Crusaders listen to you out of respect for facing down a cockatrice.” …Or fear, whichever works. But anybody being afraid of Fluttershy? Impossible. “I must say, I’m impressed you faced one down. Kudos to you.”

“After that, we came back here and I had just finished bringing Twilight up to speed when you showed up.”

Twilight nods her head. “Your story will make an excellent friendship report to the Princess.”

I cross my arms. “And what’s that lesson? Don’t bite off more than you can chew?”

“Actually, yes it is.”

Before I can say anything else, the Crusaders come back out, so I turn my attention to them instead. I glare at Scootaloo. “Uh… Did I do something wrong?” I continue glaring, but raise an eyebrow. “I swear, we didn’t do anything this time.” I start tapping my foot on the ground. “Okay! We went into the Everfree without an adult! Geez, you happy now?!”

I smirk. “Yes I am. You girls should know better.”

“We were only trying ta help.”

“Yeah! We know how much Fluttershy cares about her animals, so we wanted to find Elizabeak for her before something happened.”

“We didn’t mean to worry everypony so much.”

“That’s no excuse for running off into danger without telling somepony first,” Rarity says.

The Crusaders hang their heads and say sorry in unison. I can tell they’re genuinely sorry for doing this. “And you’ve learned why we don’t want you in the Everfree?” They nod their heads. I sigh. “To be honest, I can’t truly be mad at you three.” All eyes turn to me.

“How can you say that, Blake? They went into one of the most dangerous places in Equestria unsupervised, and you’re saying you aren’t upset?”

I shake my head. “Back it up a sec, Twilight. I never said I wasn’t upset. I’m not mad, but it still upsets me. In the same token, I do need to thank them for going into the Everfree.”

“I’m not sure I follow, dear.”

“Okay, let me say this. How long do you think Twilight would have been stoned before anyone found her, let alone found the cockatrice that did it? How many of us would have been stoned, or worse, while searching for her in the vast and uncharted forest known as the Everfree?”

“When you say it like that, I can understand. I mean, I only found Twilight because I was looking for the Crusaders. Without them, who knows who long it would have been before Twilight was found.”

“So… You aren’t mad since we technically saved Twilight?” Scootaloo asks.

“Again, no. But you’re still grounded.”

Scootaloo sighs. “Dang it.”

I smirk. “You didn’t think you’d actually get away without a punishment, did you? I’m not raising you right, apparently.”

The Cutie Pox or The Heart Gets What It Wants

“Permanent Vacation”

The Cutie Pox or The Heart Gets What It Wants

Hmm… What to do, what to do? I couldn’t possibly include that in this album, not until I can gauge public opinion of the current album. But then again, it does fit the theme… Gah, who knew creating an album would be some hard right now? I mean, the last two albums just came to me like that, but this? This is just a pain in the ass. I groan and cup my head in my hands, running them up my face and through my hair.

I hear Sonja whimper, and feel her nuzzle up against my leg. I can’t help but smile, reaching under the table to rub her head. I power down my laptop, figuring that I can get some better ideas later. It’s decent enough weather today for me to get some extra exercise, so I might as well, right?

“Hey, so… It’s been pretty quiet around here lately.”

“Yeah, and? Isn’t that a good thing considering what our… My job is?” I reach into the fridge and pull out a bottle of water.

“Yes, but I could do with a little excitement around here. You know, nothing life threating, but enough to get the blood pumping, feel your adrenal glands spike, that sort of thing.”

A knock on the door draws my attention. I raise an eyebrow. I’m not expecting any visitors today. I set the bottle on the counter and head to the door. “I swear to God that if you jinxed my day to not be peaceful, I’m gonna find a way to beat your ass.”

“It’ll be worth it to alleviate this boredom. Come on, world or Ponyville threating crisis that we need to help with!”

“Be quiet you.”

I open the door, and on the other side are two ponies I don’t recognize. There’s a bright flash, making me groan as I try to blink away the spots in my vision. As my vision clears up, I make out the image of two mares giggling while looking at a camera. “Uh… Can I help you?”

The one, a unicorn with skin the color of cream and wearing a baby blue shirt with a black skirt, looks up from the camera. “Oh my Celestia, I can’t believe we get to see you in person!” She squeals, and that’s when I catch her holding the Rejects most recent album.

The other, a pegasus with skin the color of seafoam green and wearing a white crop top and blue shorts, also looks up from the camera. “See, I told you he lives here! This is a dream come true!”

“I know! Can you believe it?! Somepony pinch me!” Again, she squeals. At this point, I’m leaning against my doorframe and waiting for one of these two to get to the point. I know they’re fans of the Rejects and what they’re after, but I’d be rude for me to cut them off.

They manage to calm themselves after some time. “We’re such huge fans of you, and we traveled all this way from Manehatten to ask if you’d sign our CD’s!” The pegasus holds out her copy of our CD, her friend doing the same.

I smile. “Well, I can’t say no if you traveled all this way.” While they squeal, I levitate a pen out from the kitchen. With a click of the pen, I sign my name on their CD’s. “Enjoy, ladies.”

They babble out a stream of thank you’s as they walk away… On a direct course towards Golden Oaks. Most likely going to hit up Spike, which means they’re probably going to hit up Lyra and Mac too. But at least they’re out of my hair. I head back inside and shut the door behind me, levitating the pen back into the kitchen.

“Aw, and I was hoping for something a bit more exciting. Universe, you have failed me!”

“Well, looks like the universe doesn’t favor you this time.”

I go and change into a pair of basketball shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt. On my way back to the front door, I grab the water bottle I had from the kitchen. With Sonja on my heels, I open the front door again, only to see a grey stallion with his hand raised on the other side. He pauses. “Uh, can I help you?”

He lowers his hand. “Uh, sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if you’d…” He looks down and shuffles his feet. He reaches behind his back and holds out something towards me. “Sign my album, please?”

I have to smile. “Sure.” I levitate the pen back out from the kitchen and sign my name.

He clutches the album to his chest. “Thank you!” He walks away, going straight towards Golden Oaks. Eh, it’s no secret where I live, so a few fans here and there don’t bother me. Hmm… Maybe I should suggest to Vinyl after the next album to hold a publicity event somewhere to push some more merchandise and increase our public presence. No matter, it’s a problem for later. Time to get back to my run.

The normal route for my runs is to make my way through the town and then either branch off to the left or right and circle back around on the outskirts. This time, I decided to mix it up a bit, starting on the outskirts and coming back through town. It’s on this trip back through town that I see Fluttershy struggling to carry a sack of something through town.

I come up behind her and casually lift the sack up with my magic. She hasn’t noticed me yet, but she has noticed the bag rising in the air, and her along with it since she hasn’t let go. She glances around. “Oh my… This is new. Could somepony help me, please?”

I refrain from rolling my eyes. “That’s what I’m trying to do, but you refuse to let go.”

She looks over her shoulder. “Oh, I didn’t see you there, Blake. And you too, Sonja.” I raise an eyebrow and jerk my head towards the sack. She follows my gaze, and then looks back at me. “Oh, right. Sorry.” She lets go, landing lightly on the ground. I float the sack over to me and heft it onto my right shoulder. “It’s not too heavy, is it?”

I shake my head. “Nah. It’s got some weight to it, but nothing I can’t handle. Besides, it’s good strength training.” I lift the sack up and down a few times to emphasize my point. “The better question is why you’re trying to lift something heavy like this. No offense, but…”

“None taken. I know I’m not the strongest pony around.”

“And why are you carrying this thing to, I assume, your home?”

She sighs. “I always carry it home. I have to get the bird seed home somehow.” Ah, so it’s bird seed in here.

I raise an eyebrow. “You’ve done this before?” She nods her head. “From now on, you need to get something heavy home, you come to me. I’d be more than happy to help you.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother you. I’m sure you’re very busy with other, more important, things.”

I grab her hand and gently pull her as I start walking towards her home. She stumbles, but keeps her balance and keeps walking, so I let go of her hand. “Nonsense, Shy. I’m always willing to help a friend, and I wouldn’t be able to call myself your friend if I watched you struggle and potentially hurt yourself trying to do this.”

“But… Oh alright, if you insist.” We walk to her cottage, chatting about what’s been going on in our lives the past couple of days and just enjoying each other’s company. Once we get there, I follow her inside and set the sack down where she instructs me to do so. “Thank you again.”

I wipe some sweat off my brow. “Anytime, Shy. Got anything else you need done?”

“Hmm… I don’t think there’s anything else I need help with. But if you aren’t in a hurry, would you care to stay for some tea? It’s the least I could do to say thank you for helping me.” Well, I did kinda want to get back to planning for our album…

“I could take care of it.”

“You take care of it? Not sure if I should be worried or… Nope, just worried.”

“Relax, will ya. This is our career I’m gonna be working on here. Not like I’m purposely gonna ruin it just for shits and giggles.”

“Fine, whatever. Just—”

“Yeah, I know what you want. Part of you, remember? I’ll take care of what I can. Enjoy yourself.”

“Well… I can’t say no to that, can I?”

I smile. “Yeah, I’d like that very much, Shy.”

She smiles. “Oh, how wonderful! And Sonja could play outside with my animal friends too!”

I reach down and pet Sonja. “You hear that, girl? You get to run around outside for as long as you want.” She barks and wags her tail, running behind Fluttershy into some part of the cottage I can’t see.

Fluttershy giggles. “Please, make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.” She turns and heads in the direction Sonja went.

I find myself a nice spot on the couch and relax. I close my eyes and sink further into the couch, feeling as if some weight is easing its pressure on me. I feel something patting my leg, making me sit back up and open my eyes to see the little furry devil himself on the floor. I casually regard him for a moment. “Angel. I suspect our truce is still holding.” He nods his head and hops off. Standing up, I head over to the window that overlooks the field outback that stretches to the edge of the Everfree. I watch the myriad of animals out there for quite some time, questioning how it can feel so peaceful here when we’re so close to the Everfree.

“The tea is almost ready, but I have some biscuits here if you want some.”

“That’d be perfect. After all, what’s a little tea without something to snack on?” I turn around and walk over to the little table where she’s placed a tray of biscuits neatly arranged into a circle. I ignore them for now and instead retake my seat on the couch.

“Enjoy.” She smiles and heads back through the room she left. As I sit there, I hear a high pitched whistling sound that swiftly stops. My best guess as to the source would have to be a tea kettle. Shortly after that, she comes back with two cups with an intricate floral design on them. She hands me one before sitting down on a chair across from me.

I idly take a sip from my cup, smacking my lips afterwards at the taste. Hmm… I taste the cinnamon, and the hint of ginger, but there’s something else there that I can’t put my finger on. Whatever it is, it’s good, but natural curiosity gets the best of me. “What type of tea is this?”

“It’s a special blend of cinnamon, ginger, and almonds that I get from the tea shop here in Ponyville.” She frowns. “Is there something wrong with it?”

I shake my head and reach for one of the biscuits. “Quite the opposite in fact. It’s got a unique flavor to it that I cannot argue against.” I take a bite of the biscuit. I’m not surprised that it’s good too. After swallowing, I continue. “And where did you purchase the biscuits? I may have to get some for myself.”

She smiles. “I made them myself, actually.”

I smile as well. “Then they taste fantastic.” We sit there in silence for some time. “You know, I never really mentioned how much I like this cottage. It’s very quaint and down to Earth, just like you.”

She smiles, and I catch the tinge of a blush on her cheeks. “Thank you. It’s nice and quiet here, just the way I like it.” She giggles. “But you knew that already.”

I smile and look out the window. “I wouldn’t mind living out here like this, but I don’t think Scootaloo would agree.”

“How is Scootaloo doing? I haven’t seen the Crusaders in a while.”

I chuckle. “That might be a good thing, all things considered. They’ve been up to their usual antics, always trying the next thing to get a Cutie Mark. Maybe one day they’ll understand to not rush that.”

She giggles. “Yes, I hope they do too, but you have to admire their dedication. I’ve never seen fillies so determined to get a Cutie Mark before.”

“Yes, I have to agree with you there. But you know as well as I do that once the heart gets set on something, nothing can stop it till it gets it.”

After chatting some more with Fluttershy, I head back home. Thanks to Fluttershy, I got some new ideas for songs. Whether they are on this album or not remains to be seen, but I doesn’t hurt to write them down. Opening the door, Sonja runs into the house and goes right to the kitchen for her water while I head straight to my room to jot down my ideas.

It’s as I’m jotting down my last idea on a sticky note that I hear the front door slam. “Dad! Dad!”

I smile. She sure is excited for some reason. “One sec, be right there!” I leave my room and head right to the kitchen to start making dinner.

I don’t even get to cross the threshold before Scootaloo is already hovering around my legs. “Dad, you’re not gonna believe this!”

I chuckle and lean down to tousle her hair. “Slow it down now.” I sidestep around her while she’s busy fixing her hair and open the fridge to get ingredients. “I take it something exciting happened today?”

“You bet it did! Apple Bloom came to school today with a Cutie Mark.”

I pause. “…I’m sorry, but it sounded like you said Apple Bloom—”

“Got her Cutie Mark! It’s amazing!”

I slowly shut the fridge door and turn around. “She got her Cutie Mark for what exactly?”

She pauses for a sec. “Umm, she called it loopty-hooping or something.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And what exactly is that?”

“She basically does loop tricks with a rope and sometimes a hoop. You should have seen it! Cheerilee even made the whole class listen to Apple Bloom and try to teach us how to do the stuff she was doing!” She grins. “It pissed off Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon to no end. And that’s not even the best part!”

“There’s more? What else? Pinkie suddenly showing up and throwing a party right there… Which in all likelihood, probably happened.”

She shakes her head. “No, but I wish she did. Apple Bloom got a second Cutie Mark!”

“…I thought you only got one Cutie Mark in your whole life?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “So did I, but apparently not!”

“And what was the second one for?”

“Plate spinning!”

I sigh. “Okay, take a seat at the table.” She does so, and I sit down across from her. “Okay, try to calm down and let’s look at this logically.”

With a sigh, she leans forward and places her elbows on the table. “What’s wrong? She got her Cutie Mark, and you aren’t as excited as I thought you’d be.”

I shake my head. “Oh, I’m happy… If she got it for the right reasons. Let’s go back a bit. She showed up to school with a Cutie Mark for,” I clear my throat, “Loopty-hooping, correct?”

She nods her head. “Yeah, she did. Everypony wanted to see it.”

“Okay, good. A Cutie Mark. Good for her. Then you said she was trying to teach the class. Right again?” She nods her head. “Okay. The last thing you said was she got another Cutie Mark, this one for plate spinning.”

“Yeah, and then Snips and Snails threw her some plates and sticks and she was spinning them and keeping them balanced while still doing hoop tricks!”

“…And you don’t see a problem with that?”

“Why would I? This means that anypony can get two Cutie Marks for different talents! Think of the combinations!”

“There’d be a lot of good combinations, yes. But something doesn’t add up with all known logic for Cutie Marks. When did she get her second Cutie Mark?”

She tilts her head. “Huh? Why’s it matter when she got it?”

“You’ll see. Now, when?”

“She was doing an advanced loopty— You know, that name is weird to say. Can I just say loop trick thing or something?” I nod my head. “Okay, she was doing a loop trick where she was spinning a loop with her tail and hovering in the air when it showed up.”

I smile. “And tell me what you know about when a Cutie Mark shows up.”

“They show up when a pony discovers their special talent, which normally happens when the pony finds something they’re really good at doing.”

“And have you heard of anybody ever having it just suddenly appear without doing the thing the Mark represents?”

She shakes her head. “No, I was always told and taught that a pony normally gets one when actually… Doing the… Thing…” She slams both hands on the table and leans forward in her seat. “Hey, wait a minute! How’d she get the second one for something she wasn’t doing?!”

I smirk. “Exactly. Something doesn’t add up. Could she have faked it?”

“The first one, maybe, but I was there when she got the second! No way is that one fake!”

I lean back in my chair and rub my chin. “Hmm… This requires some investigation.” I know full well what it is already, but sometimes a lesson needs to be learned the hard way.

“Hell yeah it does!”

“Yes, it does, but not tonight.”

“Why not? She knows the truth and she’s hiding it for some reason! The sooner we get answers, the sooner we can know the truth!”

“And charging in headfirst will get you nowhere. What happened today is over and done with, no changing that, so there’s no reason to get worked up over it. Instead, relax the rest of the night by playing games or something and we can start finding the truth tomorrow morning with clear and calm heads.” She mumbles something under her breath. “What was that?”

“I said fine. But I get to yell whatever I want at the games I play tonight!”

I smirk. “Deal.” She probably picked that habit up from me, but it’s a nice stress reliever when it works, so I can’t fault her.

“Come on! Can’t you move faster?!”

After getting Scootaloo to wind down her eagerness somewhat last night, we had both went to bed. What surprised me when I had awoken today was the smell of pancakes cooking and coffee brewing. She had woken up before me and was impatient to get to the truth of Apple Bloom’s multiple Cutie Marks, so she made breakfast. And for the record, the pancakes weren’t terrible, but she won’t be winning any cooking awards. After eating and going through our morning routines, she was practically ready to break down the front door just to get on with the investigation.

I shake my head as I tie my shoes. “No, but what’s the rush? Not like her Cutie Marks are going anywhere without her.”

“But this is serious! She got a Cutie Mark without her fellow Crusaders! She broke, like…” She pauses and scratches her chin, “Was it the fourth or fifth rule?” She shakes her head. “Whatever rule it was, she broke it!”

I raise an eyebrow. “You are allowed to do things that don’t involve the other Crusaders all the time. I don’t see them playing video games with you every night.”

She slumps somewhat. “Okay, point taken. We’ll have to change the rule.” I stand up from the chair, prompting her to open the front door and head right for her scooter. I have to smile at her boundless energy. Sonja is quick to go out after her, leaving me as the last one out. “Okay, where do you think Apple Bloom’s at?”

I shut the door behind me. “No idea.”

“What do you mean no idea?!”

I shrug my shoulders. “It means I have no idea where she might be right now.” I catch Applejack’s hat through one of Golden Oaks ground floor windows. “But Applejack’s right inside the library. She should know.”

Scootaloo’s wings buzz. “Great! Let’s go ask her!” She takes off towards the library’s front door with Sonja, as I run to catch up to them.

I put a hand on the front door as Scootaloo parks her scooter off to the side. “Now, be patient. You can’t just go in there and start assaulting Applejack with questions. We’ll figure out where Apple Bloom is.” I push open the door. “…Or she’s right here.”

The incessant sound of taping is coming from Apple Bloom as she taps away, while spinning two plates balanced on sticks on her head and a metal hoop with her tail. Twilight, Spike, and Applejack stand off to the side and watch, Twilight jotting down something on a scroll as well. “Hey everybody, what’s going on? Oh, congrats on the Cutie Marks, Apple Bloom.” I catch the Cutie Mark of a tap shoe on her left leg, a little under where her pants stop.

“Oh come on!” Scootaloo walks right up to Apple Bloom. “Three Cutie Marks?!”

Apple Bloom chuckles weakly. “Yeah, aren’t ah one lucky filly? Now would somepony help me stop tapping?!”

I raise an eyebrow and look at Applejack and Twilight. “Three now? I heard about the other two from Scootaloo.”

Applejack nods her head. “Ah just don’t know where she got the third one from. She didn’t have it when she got home yesterday. Then I wake up this morning ta find her tapping in the middle of her room and she can’t stop! I’m hoping Twilight can help, because ah don’t know what to do!”

Twilight shakes her head. “I don’t know what’s going on. I was reading a book recently about unusual equine illnesses and I think I remember something similar to this, but what was it?” She goes over to a bookshelf and starts pulling out some books.

Spike, however, climbs a ladder and grabs a single book. “Perplexing Pony Plagues, perhaps?” Oh boy, alliteration.

Twilight looks at the book in his hand as he slides down the ladder. She smiles. “Yes, that’s exactly it! Spike, you’re amazing!”

“Well, I do have some talents.”

I glance at Applejack and then at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. “And the second and third Cutie Marks just appeared?”

Apple Bloom nods her head, while Scootaloo frowns and glares at her. “Yeah, and having more than one isn’t normal. Anything you want to tell us, Apple Bloom?”

“Ah just wanna know what’s happening to me! Honest!”

I sigh and shake my head. “This confirms my suspicions.”

Applejack’s eyes light up. “You know what’s going on?”

“Wait, you knew how Apple Bloom got more than one Cutie Mark? Then why didn’t you tell me last night?!”

I hold my hands out and motion for them to calm down. “Easy now, both of you. I had a hunch, but needed to confirm it before saying anything. I didn’t want to provide false info nor get your hopes up.” I look at Twilight. “During my own reading of that book, I came across an entry for something called Cutie Pox.”

Twilight flips through the pages. “Ah ha, here it is.” Her eyes widen as she internally reads the entry. “That isn’t good.”

“Twi, what’s it say? Is it what Apple Bloom has?”

She looks up from the book at all of us before sighing. “It says here that Cutie Pox is when random Cutie Marks start appearing all over the body without any logical reason and would force the pony to perform whatever talent the mark represented. It used to plague prehistoric ponies before mysteriously vanishing. No known cases have been reported since then.”

“So it’s exactly what Bloom has! Hear that, Bloom?” Apple Bloom nods her head, still keeping the plates balanced. If the situation wasn’t so drastic, I’d be impressed.

Scootaloo eyes Apple Bloom. “Jeez, how did you get that?”

“I don’t know! Ah didn’t do anything!”

I jerk my head towards Twilight. “Keep reading, Twilight. What else does it say?”

She looks back at the book. “It says that with the amount of Cutie Marks that would appear, it was only a matter of time before the pony would collapse from exhaustion.”

“So I’m just gonna get really tired?”

Scootaloo rolls her eyes. “All this worry just to say she’s gonna get really tired? Sounds dumb.”

Spike nods his head. “Yeah it does. Although I wouldn’t mind a pox that makes me tired.”

I sigh and look at Twilight and Applejack. We all know what it really means, but none of us have the heart to break it to them. “Well, what’s the cure for this, Twi? Let’s get it whipped up and taken care of.”

Twilight sighs and shuts the book. “I’m afraid that’s just it. There’s no known cure.”

“What?!” Everybody save for Twilight and I say.

“How is there no cure? How’d the ancient ponies get rid of it then?” Spike asks.

I sigh and close my eyes. “They didn’t, Spike.”

“Well that’s just great then. Now what do we do?” There’s a bright flash from Apple Bloom. When it fades, there’s a fleur de lis on her left cheek. “Oh super, une autre marque Cutie!” She gasps. “Qu'est-ce que c'est ça? Pourquoi suis-je parler Phrench maintenant? C'est un Mark Cutie en parlant Phrench, n'est ce pas?”

“Great, now Bloom’s speaking all fancy!”

I nod my head and point to the Cutie Mark. “Yeah, another one. It’s a fleur de lis this time. You got a mirror around here, Twilight?”

“Already on it.” Spike holds a little mirror up to let Apple Bloom see her mark.

“You can understand her?” Twilight asks.

“Tu peux me comprendre? Ah, je ne pense pas que je puisse contrôler de parler normalement maintenant.”

I rock my hand from side to side. “Eh, maybe. My French is a little rusty, but I can do my best translation.”

“Si vous êtes le seul à pouvoir me comprendre en ce moment… Putain! …S'il vous plaît ne dites pas Applejack, je n'ai pas besoin d'avoir plus de problèmes.”

I have to stifle the laugh in my throat. “Noted, Bloom.”

“What’d she say? Ah heard my name in there.”

I shrug my shoulders. “First part is a jumble, but the second part has something to do with problem and you getting her help now? Am I right with that part?” I look to Apple Bloom for confirmation, and she nods her head.

“Ah just don’t know how to help you, Bloom! There’s no known cure in ponykind for this!”

Apple Bloom snaps her fingers. “Qu'en est-il de demander de l'aide à Zecora? Elle pourrait connaître un remède!”

I smile. “Ah, good idea! Scootaloo?”

She’s already heading for the door. “I may not be the smartest pony in the room, but I understood a few of those words! Don’t worry, I’ll be back with Zecora before you know it!” She opens the door with her wings already buzzing.

“Of course! Zecora might have a cure that ponies don’t know about yet!”

“We’ll be right behind you!” I call out to Scootaloo before turning back to everyone else. “Sonja, go with Scootaloo.” With a bark, Sonja heads out the door. “Yeah, it’s basically what Bloom just said.”

“Then what are we waiting for ya’ll?! Let’s get going!”

Twilight grabs the book and heads out the door, Spike right on her heels. Applejack and I slowly make our way out with Apple Bloom. With her tapping nonstop, she’s not going to win any footraces right now. I look at Applejack. “I’ll catch up to Twilight and Spike. You stay with Bloom.”

“Like ah was gonna leave her side.”

I nod my head and run after Twilight and Spike. We keep a fair distance ahead of Applejack and Apple Bloom but never stray too far from their line of sight. At this rate, Scootaloo will be back with Zecora long before we even reach the edge of town.

“Uh… Ya’ll?!” We stop and look back. There’s a new Cutie Mark on Apple Bloom in the shape of a hammer and chisel. As much as she tries to resist her body pulling her, she ultimately gives in and rushes over to a statue of an Earth pony. She moves like a gust of wind around the statue, which is an accurate metaphor based on how much dust she’s kicking up. The dust settles, and what was once a simple Earth pony statue is now a beautiful sculpting of a mare with long hair covering her naked body in just the right places, standing on a pedestal situated in half a clam shell.

I give a whistle of appreciation. “Nice.”

“Heh, heck yeah it is.” I hold my fist out to Spike, who bumps it.

Another Cutie Mark shows up on Apple Bloom. Before I can get a good look at it, she’s clambering up to a roof with a long handled brush in her hands. Ah, chimney sweep. Mark after mark appears on her, and with each mark, a crowd slowly grows.

“She’s hexed!” A mare says.

“She cursed!” Another mare says.

“She enchanted!” A third mare says. Ah, the flower trio. What were their names again? Roseluck, I know, but the other two I’m drawing a blank on.

I shake my head. “Ladies, please. It’s nothing like that.”

Spike climbs on top of a pile of hay. “Yeah, Apple Bloom’s just got an incurable disease known as Cutie Pox that ancient ponies used to get.” The crowd eyes him before one of flower trio screams and runs into a building, the rest of the crowd following suit.

I sigh. “You know, Spike, sometimes I think you live just to cause chaos.”

The sound of something buzzing alerts me to the return of Scootaloo and Sonja with Zecora in tow. Still don’t know why she wears that ratty traveling cloak, but whatever works for her I guess. “Found her!”

“What’s this I see? I thought ponies had got over their fear of me?”

“Well, they did, but—”

“Talk later! We gotta help mah sister right now!”

Zecora nods her head and smiles warmly. “Young Scootaloo has already briefed me of what ails this young filly.”

Twilight holds the book out towards Zecora. “Zecora, please tell us you know how to cure Cutie Pox.”

Zecora slowly pushes the book back towards Twilight. “I have seen this affliction before, for which there is a cure that’s simple and pure.”

Applejack smiles. “Great! What is it?!” I catch some of the town slowly coming out of the buildings. Seems curiosity has overtaken their fear.

I shake my head. “One second. I wanna know how in the world did Apple Bloom even get Cutie Pox? As far as that book in concerned, there’s been no reported cases in ages.”

“Yeah, cause as much as I want a Cutie Mark,” Scootaloo glances in the direction of Apple Bloom, currently lifting weights like they’re nothing, “I don’t wanna be like… That.”

“The answer to that is simple as well, but it comes with a tale to tell.”

“No time!”

I put my hand on Applejack’s shoulder. “We need to know, Applejack, just to prevent this spreading to others. If it was gonna get worse, Zecora would be doing something to fix it by now.”

Applejack sighs. “Alright, fine. What’s the deal with how Bloom got Cutie Pox?”

Zecora looks at Apple Bloom, who matches her gaze. “After Apple Blooms last visit was through, I noticed some ingredients missing for my brew. A flower called Heart’s Desire, which is very hard to acquire.”

Twilight tilts her head. “Heart’s Desire? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that before.”

“You probably wouldn’t, Twilight. I’ve heard mentions of it from my own studies, and from my time with Zecora, but it essentially gives whoever ingests it whatever their heart desires, as the name implies.”

Applejack’s eyes widen. “Wait, so ya mean that—”

“Apple Bloom took the flower to get a Cutie Mark cause it’s what she desired!” Scootaloo finishes for Applejack.

Zecora looks away from Apple Bloom and back to us, nodding her head. “That is true, and Apple Bloom knows this too.”

“But you said there’s a cure for this, right? What is it?” Spike asks.

Zecora reaches into her cloak and rummages in a pouch strapped to a belt around her waist. She pulls out some seeds and holds them out for us to see. “These Seeds of Truth are what you seek. They will bloom only when the truth speaks. The flower that blooms will provide a cure, so long as the truth is honest and pure.”

I snap my fingers and point at the ground. “Sonja, dig!” She listens and starts digging a small hole in the ground. With another snap of my fingers, she stops and sits beside me.

Applejack snatches the seeds from Zecora’s hand and drops them into the hole before using her foot to cover them up with dirt. “Now somepony tell the truth, please!”

Applejack looks around at the crowd, her eye silently pleading with someone to help her. “Okay, I admit it! Yesterday I told Mrs. Cake that I ate two corncakes, but I really ate three!” It’s not hard to recognize the voice of Pinkie, as all eyes turn to her at the front of the crowd. “Okay six! I ate six corncakes!” Zecora bends down to look at the where the seeds are planted. A tiny stem pokes up from the ground, but nothing more. Zecora stands back up and shakes her head.

I look at the crowd. “Alright, listen up! Nobody else here has to tell the truth! There’s only one that needs to do so, and she’s currently lifting weights!” All eyes turn to Apple Bloom. “Bloom, listen to me. You need to tell the truth, no matter the consequences. You need this cure, and you need it soon. And try not to say it in French, please.”

She gulps and eyes us. She finally closes her eyes and puffs out her chest. “Okay, okay! All the Cutie Marks are fake! After I learned from Zecora what Heart’s Desire does, ah took some and mixed it into a special potion to get a Cutie Mark! I didn’t know it would turn out like this! Ah’m sorry, but I wanted a Cutie Mark so badly that I did anything to get it!”

All eyes turn back to the seeds as a white and pink flower shoots up from the dirt. Applejack yanks the flower out of the ground and hands it to Apple Bloom, who promptly stuffs the thing in her mouth and swallows. One by one, the Cutie Marks disappear as everything she’s been carrying drops in a heap around her before she collapses in the center of it all. A quick look at the visible parts of her body reveal she’s as blank as the day she was born. Scootaloo’s the first to her side, gingerly helping Apple Bloom to her feet.

Apple Bloom looks at herself. “Oh thank Celestia, I’ve never been so happy ta be a blank flank in my life!”

Applejack scoops up Apple Bloom into a hug. “Oh sugarcube, I’m glad yer alright!” She lowers Apple Bloom back to the ground, but keeps her hands firmly on her shoulders. “But just what in Equestria were ya thinking, taking a flower like that?”

I nudge Twilight. “Friendship lesson time.” Her eyes widen, a quill and scroll floating in front of her after a quick pop from teleportation.

Apple Bloom hangs her head. “Ah’m sorry, everypony. I was just so impatient that I didn’t want to wait for my Cutie Mark to appear.”

“I’ll say! You didn’t even wait for your fellow Crusaders!”

“That too. Sorry bout that.”

Scootaloo pats her on the back. “It’s cool. You make it sound like I wouldn’t have done the same thing.”

“I should have just listened to everypony else when they said ah need ta be patient and wait. Ah’m truly sorry for lying to everypony and for not listening to what ah was told.”

I nod my head. “As long as you know what you did was wrong, I’d say there’s no need for a punishment, considering what she just went through. Right, Applejack?”

Applejack steps back and crosses her arms.“Well… Ah don’t know. Ah mean, she did lie to practically everypony in town…” She smirks, “But yeah, ah don’t see any reason ta punish ya. This time.”

Apple Bloom smiles. “From now on, I’m gonna be patient and wait for my Cutie Mark! After all, good things come ta those who wait!”

“That sounds like an excellent Friendship Lesson to—”

“Okay, I’ve waited long enough!” Apple Bloom checks her flank, but it’s still bare. “Darn it!”

“So… ready to get back to Crusading, now that you no longer got a Cutie Mark?” Scootaloo is already strapping on her helmet and rolling her scooter over.

“Are ya kidding?! I’ve been ready! Let’s go get Sweetie too!” Her and Scootaloo head off to somewhere else in town, the crowd slowly dispersing now that the commotion is over.

I shake my head and chuckle. “Ah, the eternal wellspring of youthful energy.” I turn to Zecora. “So, what brought you into town today?”

“A shopping trip to a little known store that sells ingredients that are hard to procure.”

I raise an eyebrow. “There’s a store in town that sells rare alchemy ingredients?” Zecora nods her head. “This news to any of you?”

Applejack shrugs her shoulders. “Not like I care about such places, but ain’t never heard of anyplace like that here.”

Twilight shakes her head. “I’ve never heard of such a place either. Granted, I haven’t been in Ponyville long enough to know everything about it.”

“Same here.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, not like I’m concerned with its location right now.” I stretch, feeling a couple of joints crack. “Now that the current situation is resolved, I’m gonna head home and workout for a bit. See you all later then.” I snap my fingers, and Sonja heels at my left side. “Also, spread the word to everyone else, including Trixie and Derpy. Movie night at my place tomorrow for anyone interested.” With that, I snap my fingers and teleport home with Sonja.

Movie Night Four: Four Too Many Movies

Author's Note

So, here we are again. Been close to a full year since the last update. I do apologize for my lack of an update, both in terms of the story and any blog posts about the current status of it. Personal life has taken precedence over this hobby of mine, and it will continue to as the need arises.

For those of you that stuck around, thank you for the continued support.

Movie Night Four: Four Too Many Movies

“Permanent Vacation”

Movie Night Four: Four Too Many Movies

Screw cooking for tonight, I’m in the mood for pizza. I’m sure anybody that’s coming, which I have no clue as to who, will not complain about that. It’s not like I’m getting something they can’t eat. In lieu of me actually going out to get the pizzas, Scootaloo offered to be the pseudo delivery service, which I had no trouble agreeing to. And while she’s actually out getting the pizzas, it gives me a chance to maybe enjoy some gaming.

Three quick, sharp knocks at the door promptly kill that train of thought. Going to the door, I open it. “Here for the food, drinks, and movie, Rainbow?”

“You know it!” She bends down and rubs Sonja’s head, who is sticking her head around my legs.

I smile and turn around. “Okay then, you know the drill. Shut the door behind ya.” I head into the kitchen and collect some papers I had laying out on the table. Mostly on matters that nobody besides myself should be concerned with. With a quick teleportation spell on the papers to deposit them in my room, I go about getting the tableware for… “Hey, Rainbow!

“Geez, no need to shout. I’m standing right here.” She walks over to stand beside me. “What’s up?”

“You know who else is coming?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Sorry, don’t know. I've been busy practicing my stunts all day and haven’t really talked to anypony else.”

I shrug my shoulders and grab enough stuff for twelve people. “Eh, no big deal then. I’ll just guesstimate how many.”

As I go about arranging everything on the table, I hear the fridge door open. “So…” I hear some bottles shift as she rummages around before pulling out a bottle of Moonlight Mist, which is apparently Equestria’s version of Mountain Dew if the name and taste are anything to go by, and shutting the door. “What’re we having to eat? I’m practically starving over here!”

“Pizza once Scootaloo gets back with it.”

“Sweet! Where from?” She pops the cap on the bottle and takes a long swig from it.

I pause. “Uh… I’m guessing she’s going to the one over by Sugarcube Corner? I didn’t exactly specify which one.” I think there’s only two pizza places in town that I know of, but I could be mistaken.

She stops drinking, belching afterwards. “Eh, makes no difference to me.” Now that everything's arranged on the table, I head over to the fridge and pull out a bottle of Moonlight Mist for myself. After kicking the fridge door shut with my foot, I then walk over to a cabinet and open it up, my various bottles of alcohol stored within. Rainbow whistles at the sight. “Nice. You thinking of sharing any?”

I glance at her while floating two tumblers over from another cabinet. “No, I wasn’t. But since nobody else has arrived yet…” I shift around some of the bottles before pulling out a bottle of Captain Morgan. “Care to wet your whistle?” I shake one of the tumblers in front of her.

“Hell yeah! You don’t have to ask me twice!”

“On the rocks?” She shakes her head, so I fill the tumbler to a little over half full with rum. A bark from Sonja and the rattling of her collar as she heads to… Sounds like the front door, alerts me to someone else arriving. “Come in!” I yell out before heading over to the freezer to grab some ice cubes.

“Hey, girl! How ya doing?” Ah, that sounds like Apple Bloom, which might mean Applejack’s here too.

Sure enough, Applejack turns the corner into the kitchen. “Howdy, Blake, Rainbow.” I catch her eyeing the bottle floating beside me. She chuckles. “It ain’t that kinda party now, is it?”

I smirk. “Not unless you want it to turn into that kind of party.” On reflex, I tense up. But no sudden surprise makes me calm down. Could have sworn Pinkie would appear out of nowhere at the mention of a party twice in a short period of time.

“Nah, I’d only do that if you didn’t have something fragile in your hands.” Pinkie walks into the kitchen with Sonja and Apple Bloom behind her. I raise an eyebrow at Apple Bloom, who just shrugs her shoulders. “There is a method to my madness, after all.”

“Okay then…” I hold up the bottle of Morgan, “Any legal age adult want something alcoholic to drink?”

“You’re offering Pinkie something alcoholic… Are you insane?”

“Well, yes. I do have a voice in my head that I occasionally talk and argue with.”

“You know what I mean.”

Applejack shakes her head. “Nah, not tonight. Not with Bloom here.”

Pinkie shakes her head, but I can see the glint in her eyes.

I shrug my shoulders. “Alright, just ask if you want some then. Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge.” I drop some ice cubes into my tumbler and fill it to the same volume as Rainbows. I hold out Rainbow’s tumbler to her, which she takes. I hold up my tumbler. “Cheers.”

She clinks her tumbler to mine, and we both take a swig. While I’m coughing from the spices hitting my throat, I hear another knock on the door. I motion for somebody to get it while cracking open the bottle of Moonlight Mist and drinking from it. I’m not sure who got the door, but I glance up and wave to Twilight, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and Fluttershy after I finish swallowing.

“You three want something alcoholic to drink? Sweetie, Bloom, you know what’s in the fridge, help yourselves.” Those two go over to the fridge and rustle around for something, I’m not really paying attention to them anyway.

“Um, no thank you. Water would be fine.”

“Water for me as well, dear.”

I point to the glasses on the table. “Please, help yourselves then.” I look at Twilight. “Still haven’t answered my question, Twilight.”

She nods her head. “Sure, why not? A drink sounds nice tonight.”

“Woah, hold up. Did I hear that right?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Is there a problem, Rainbow?”

“Twilight just asked for booze. Am I the only one who heard that?”

“What’s the problem with me having a little drink?”

Rainbow rubs the back of her head. “I mean, it’s not a problem…”

“What Rainbow means is that we just didn’t expect you ta be having booze.”

“Yeah, what Applejack said!”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “I’m allowed to enjoy myself every now and again, and ever since Blake and Luna took me out for my birthday party, I’ve… Dabbled a bit with alcoholic beverages.”

I shrug my shoulders. “All the more power to ya, I say. Everyone needs a little something to take the edge off now and again.” I float over another tumbler and point to the cabinet. “Pick your poison.” She grabs the tumbler and walks over to the cabinet, eyeing the bottles before finally settling on gin.

“So where’s Scootaloo at?” Sweetie asks.

“Okay, since I assume everyone is here, I’m only—”

“You can’t start a party without The Great and Powerful Trixie!”

I roll my eyes. “I can, and I will.” Everyone else greets Trixie, her doing the same to them. “You’re awfully late showing up. Something come up at the school?”

She groans and rolls her eyes, snatching the tumbler I’m floating towards her as she heads towards the alcohol cabinet. “Like you wouldn’t believe. If there’s one thing in life I didn’t need to deal with, it’s the amount of paperwork. And for the love of Celestia, please don’t ask any more questions about it. I want to get away from it all, not bring it with me.” She grabs a half full bottle of bourbon and pours herself a generous amount.

I shrug my shoulders. “Alright, topic forgotten.” I turn to Twilight. “You need something to mix that with, or drinking it straight?”

“Something to mix it with, if you wouldn’t mind. You got grapefruit juice and salt?”

I raise an eyebrow, but nod my head. “Yeah. Juice is in the fridge, top shelf at the very back. Salt is on the counter.” While she mixes whatever it is, cause I’ve never heard of grapefruit being mixed with gin before, I direct my attention back to everyone else. “Anybody know of anybody else that’s coming?” I get varied responses in the negative.

“I did talk to Miss Hooves on my way over here, and I can say for certain she is unavailable to join us,” Rarity says.

“And Spike said he wanted to enjoy some alone time at the library. He also said thanks for the offer.”

I nod my head. “Then I’m saying this once. Scootaloo is out getting dinner, which is pizza. When she gets back, we eat. Till then, enjoy yourselves.”

I spend some time socializing before moving back into the living room and firing up Dishonored on the PS4. Twilight, Trixie, Apple Bloom, Sweetie, and Rainbow are interested enough to come and watch, and whether out of genuine interest or just plain politeness, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy come to watch and talk as well. Due to the presence of young eyes and Fluttershy, I decide going for a no killing run this time.

I finish the prologue, the escape from prison mission, when I hear the front door open. “I’m back!”

Rainbow is the first one off the couch and racing to the door. “Took ya long enough, Squirt!” I pause the game and set the controller out of the way while everyone gradually moves to the kitchen. I step into the kitchen and grab the boxes from Scootaloo.

I crack open the first of six boxes and feel my mouth water at the sight and smell of fresh breadsticks with a coating of garlic sauce. The second box is just a simple three cheese pizza, and the third is a supreme without the meat, so a veggie pizza. The rest of the boxes are just dupes of everything else. “Alright, help yourselves to whatever, there’s plenty to go around.” Being the gracious host that I am, I step off to the side and let everyone else grab whatever fancies their taste buds first. Once it’s finally my turn, I grab two breadsticks and three slices of the veggie pizza.

Good food and drinks, great friends and family, and an overall relaxed atmosphere make for an enjoyable dinner, and certainly helps go through most of the food. There’s only a little bit of the three cheese pizza and some breadsticks left. Applejack kindly volunteered to help me cleanup once everyone was done, though there wasn’t much to actually cleanup. Still, I appreciate her offering to help, and wasn’t about to pass her up on her offer… This time around at least.

“Thanks for the help, Applejack. Go make yourself comfortable in while I finish up out here.”

“Anytime. Pizza was good, by the way. Scootaloo made a great choice.”

I chuckle. “Of course she did.” A whimper from Sonja makes me look down. “What is it girl? You wanna go outside?” Her ears perk up and her tail wags. I’ll take that as a yes. “Scootaloo! Sonja’s gotta go out!”

“On it!” Sonja runs off towards the front door.

I finish washing the dishes and go to take a drink from my tumbler. I hold it up and shake it. Huh, empty… I turn around to see Pinkie with her hands behind her back and rocking on her feet. “So… Is your offer from before still good?”

I raise an eyebrow. “If you mean about wanting to drink, yes. It’s an open bar.”

“I’ll say it again, you’re giving Pinkie booze… Were you dropped on your head as a child?”

“Relax, will ya? Pinkie’s a full grown adult, I’m sure she knows what she’s getting into.”

“Yeah! I’ve got an incredibly high tolerance for alcohol, so there’s no worries about me getting drunk and doing anything crazy!” She giggles, “Well, crazier than normal anyway!”

“Whatever. Not like I have to deal with it anyway.”

“Sweet! You got vodka, triple sec, orange juice, and cranberry juice?”

I float out another tumbler while going over the list of ingredients in my head. “Yeah, I got all that, but I ain’t ever heard of this concoction before.”

She grabs the tumbler and heads right for the alcohol cabinet while I grab the juices and some ice from the fridge and freezer, respectively. “That’s because it’s a drink I came up with, silly! I call it the Pinkie Pie special! …I haven’t thought of a better name yet.”

I give her everything she needs, and she pours the required amount of each ingredient with practiced ease. I eye the drink after she’s finished. “You know, for something called the Pinkie Pie special, I’d have thought it’d be… Pinker.” Her drink is colored more towards a sunset orange, in my opinion.

“That’s the surprise! …And the fact these go down smooth. Wanna try?”

I eye the drink. “Yeah, maybe later. I’m good for…” I hold up my empty tumbler. Right, empty. “Another drink, it seems. Mix one up for me, Pinkie.” She takes the tumbler from my hand and mixes up another of her special. With a clink of our tumblers, we take a sip. Hmm… A little on the sweeter side, but not bad.

Pinkie and I walk into the living room. She takes a seat on the floor with Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow. Twilight, Rarity, Trixie, and the Crusaders have occupied the couch. I just eye the room. Really should buy some more furniture soon. With a shrug, I levitate a chair out from the kitchen and slide it over to the right side of the couch beside Twilight.

“So, what movie we watching?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, Rainbow. Was just gonna wing it here.” The front door opens and shuts, Sonja running in and laying down on the floor beside me. I reach over and start rubbing her back. “Hey, Scoots, got a movie you want to see?”

“John Wick.”

“That’s my girl!” I hold my hand up, which she enthusiastically slaps.

“Who’s this John Wick fella?”

I smirk and shake my head. “Now that would be spoiling it, Applejack.” I blink. “Uh, actually, are you and Rarity okay with Sweetie and Bloom seeing this? It’s violent and does include, amongst other things, blood and death.”

They eye each other. “Could you give us some time to discuss it?” I nod my head. “Thank you, dearie.” Her and Applejack stand up and head into the kitchen.

Twilight looks at me and raises an eyebrow. “Well, obviously you and Scootaloo have seen it, but how bad is this movie?”

“Um, I’d like to know too.”

I rub my chin. “Honestly, it shows blood and death, but it’s not too graphic, and there is some swearing involved, but I wouldn’t be too worried about it.”

Sweetie bites her lip. “I’m not sure Rarity’s gonna let me see it then…”

“And ah’m pretty sure Applejack’s gonna put her hoof down and say ah can’t watch it either.”

I shrug my shoulders. “If they say you can’t, we watch another movie.”

“Honestly, I don’t see what the issue is,” Trixie says. “It’s a movie, and as long as everypony present can make the distinction between fantasy and reality, then there shouldn’t be a problem.”

I shake my head. “There’s more to it than that, Trixie. While common sense would dictate being able to define the line between fantasy and reality, it all comes down to personal beliefs and choice. Beside, I’m not in charge of Sweetie or Bloom. Whatever Rarity and Applejack decide is their choice.”

“Sweetie Belle? Could you and Apple Bloom come join us in the kitchen?” The Crusaders share a quick hug, and then Sweetie and Apple Bloom head into the kitchen.

It’s after a couple of minutes that all four return with smiles on their faces. I raise an eyebrow. “Good news?”

“Applejack and I have agreed to let them watch this movie.”

“It’s just ah movie, and while we don’t like the idea of our sisters watching this, we can’t exactly shield them from it, considering what happened with the… Ya know, Diamond Dogs.”

I smile. “Well, alright then. Take your seats. Scootaloo?”

“Already on it.” She’s already throwing the disk in while everyone retakes their seats and I flick the lights off with a tendril of magic.

After skipping through the trailers and actually hitting play at the main menu, a brief thought crosses my mind. “Oh, uh… Someone might want to hold Fluttershy… Like, really tight.”

“Way to go genius, you forgot about that scene. Do you want to traumatize her?”

“Why? …Oh yeah, that scene…” Scootaloo hisses through her teeth. “Yeah…”

Pinkie wraps her arms around Fluttershy. “Don’t worry, I got this!”

I tense up as the movie starts, slowly dreading the moments till that scene arrives. As we get closer to the scene, I realize that I’ve been absentmindedly biting my fingernails. The scene arrives, and I let it play out, pausing it only after it’s over. “Fluttershy… You alright there?” All eyes are on her. She’s quiet and visibly trembling. I slowly start to reach out towards her shoulder. “Shy?”

And then she starts sobbing. We’re all quick to comfort her, wrapping her in a large group hug. Dammit, I feel horrible now for letting Fluttershy see this. It’s a while before she calms down enough to speak coherently. “That…” She shudders, “That was the most horrible thing anypony can do to an animal. Why would they do that?”

I rub the back of my head. “Sadly, there’s people like that. I can’t explain what compels them to do what they do.” I sigh. “If it makes you feel any better, the dog wasn’t really hurt during filming. It was all fake. Plus, the characters in the movie get what’s coming to them.”

She smiles softly. “That does make me feel a little better.” Sonja, for her part, moves away from me and curls up beside Fluttershy, resting her head in Fluttershy’s lap. Fluttershy reaches down and starts petting her.

I mentally raise an eyebrow. Which part makes her feel better, that justice will be done or that it was all fake? Best not to ask. “Everyone, I’m truly sorry for killing the good mood. If any of you want to call it a night, I won’t hold it against you.”

Twilight pats my shoulder. “You gave us all fair warning about what this movie is like. If any of us weren’t okay with it, I’m sure we would have said something then.”

“That was a final gift from his wife, correct?” I nod my head at Rarity’s question. “Then while I don’t like what happened, which is a feeling I’m sure most of us share, I can understand why the scene was written that way.”

Applejack tips her hat down. “Ah can’t imagine what I’d do if something like that happened to Winona.” Apple Bloom silently nods her head too.

“And please don’t feel sorry. Like Twilight said, you gave everypony here a fair warning. It was my choice to stay and watch.”

I slowly nod my head and idly take a sip of my drink. It was her choice, but it was also mine to not pick another movie. “If you’re all okay with it still, we can continue.” I hear no objections and resume the movie.

We watch the rest of the movie in near silence, occasionally stopping it so I can answer a few questions. Once the credits start rolling, I flick the lights back on. “That was awesome! Except for the uh… You know…”

“I for one thoroughly enjoyed it.” Glad I got Trixie to enjoy it at least.

“Yes, well, I can’t deny it was a compelling story.”

“Eh, it was so-so. But we were all together for it, and that’s what matters!”

Twilight smiles. “You’re right, Pinkie. Being together made this a far more enjoyable experience. Although, I could have done with something a little less… Violent.”

I raise an eyebrow. I’ve had time to think, and need to bring this up now. “Violence, Twilight? Need I remind you that we all watched Star Wars, a movie with war in the title, and war’s usually lead to violence?” Twilight opens her mouth, and after a short pause, closes it again. That’s what I thought. She can’t make an argument against that.

“Bloom, what’d ya think of the movie?”

“I’m curious to hear your thoughts as well, Sweetie.” Gotta agree with Applejack and Rarity. I’m curious to know as well.

“Well, I kinda liked it. Like you said, Rarity, it’s got a good story.”

“Ah enjoyed it.”

Scootaloo rubs the back of her head. “I know dad already apologized, but I’m gonna say it too. Sorry for picking out the movie tonight. I just really wanted to see an action movie.”

Rainbow leans back and pulls Scootaloo down to her level, holding her close and using her balled up left hand to rub Scootaloo’s head. “Don’t sweat it, squirt. It was your choice and we stuck with it. I’ll give you props on picking an awesome action movie too.”

“Thanks, Rainbow!”

I smile. You know, I can see Rainbow really taking on the big sister role if she really wanted to. Might actually get her to slow down and think at times. Eh, who am I kidding. I collect the tumblers of those of us that drank and deposit them in the kitchen sink while everyone else gets ready to take their leave. Goodbyes are exchanged, with me apologizing once more for my poor selection, and everyone filters out… All except for Fluttershy.

“Scootaloo, go to your room.” She eyes Fluttershy and I for a second, but obliges and leaves us alone. I wait till I hear the door to her room shut before speaking. “You’ve been unnaturally quiet, Fluttershy. Well, more so than usual for you.”

“Oh, I’ve just been thinking.”

I sit down on the floor beside her. “About what?”

“About…” She looks at me, but ultimately shakes her head. “It’s nothing, really.”

I sigh. “Shy, listen. I want to—”

She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Don’t apologize again for that. It’s just a movie.”

I gently grab her hand and move it away. “But even if it’s fake, somebody like you shouldn’t have seen that.”

She raises an eyebrow. “And you’re saying somepony like the Crusaders should have?”

“She’s got you there.”

I open my mouth to counter, but find I can’t come up with a logical comeback. “Alright, that’s a fair point.”

She reaches down and pats my leg. “Please don’t be upset about all this. It was my choice to watch.”

I sigh, but nod my head. “Alright, I won’t be upset about this. It’s just… It’s gonna take some time for me to get over it.”

“And if you ever need somepony to talk to, you always have the girls and I.”

I have to smile at that. “Yeah, I do.”

Fluttershy stands up. “I’m sorry, but I should be heading home now.”

I wave her towards the door. “Okay, safe travels now.” With that, Fluttershy leaves.

I sit on the floor for some time longer, idly rubbing Sonja’s back and mulling over everything that happened tonight. She looked like she really wanted to say something at the start there, but ultimately held back. Just what was it she wanted to say?

The Mysterious Mare Do Well or Superhuman Gambit

“Permanent Vacation”

The Mysterious Mare Do Well or Superhuman Gambit

It’s a glorious day out, and I’m stuck inside doing maintenance on the house. I’d have Scootaloo helping me, but she somehow snuck out before I could catch her. She did leave a note for me though, saying she had to go prep her Rainbow Dash Fan Club meeting or whatever and that she’d be home later after crusading. Who knew that Rainbow Dash had such a following of fans, or a fan club for that matter?

I shake my head and put my mind back onto the task at hand. I scrub the tub even harder, a stubborn calcium deposit refusing to submit to my strength and cleaning solution. Muttering a few swears under my breath, I apply more force until the deposit eventually gives in and washes away. Leaning back, I wipe the sweat from my forehead and sigh. One buildup of calcium down… I glance back into the tub… Countless more to go.

“You know, you wouldn’t have this problem if you cleaned it regularly.”

“Oh, like you have anything to clean up in there. Besides the cobwebs.”

“Oh, self-deprecating jokes, I love it!”

“I aim to please.”

“But really though, I’ve had to dig through so much garbage up here to actually make this place livable. And you’d not believe how disorganized it was! I spent months actually filing everything away! And don’t even get me started on the smell.”

“Well, you should have started cleaning it sooner. You wouldn’t have this problem then.”

“Hey, don’t go twisting words around, that’s my job. Why don’t you get back to cleaning your tub instead of bantering with me?”

“And why don’t you go back to doing whatever it is you’re doing.” With a sigh, I reach back into the tub and start scrubbing the next calcium deposit.

I fall back onto the couch and let out a sigh of relief. Finally, all the cleaning in the house is done. That’s not to say of the outside needing a little work, but that’s for a later date. I reach down and absentmindedly rub Sonja’s head while sinking deeper into the couch. God, I could just lie down and sleep right now.

There’s an incessant knocking at the door. Of fucking course there is, never a moment of peace for me is there. “Alright, alright, keep your shirt on!” I stand up and head for the door. Opening it, I smirk. “Bit impatient today, are we?”

Vinyl chuckles. “Considering it’s something important, yeah. Got somepony here that wants to ask you some questions.”

I just now notice the pale stallion standing a little off to the side and fiddling with a camera. His mane’s clean cut and short, and he’s wearing blue jeans and a rust colored shirt under a, in my opinion, putrid green vest. The vest has a couple of pockets on it, with most of them zipped up, save for one that has a notepad and pencil sticking out of it. “Well, come on in then.” I step aside and motion for them to come in. “We can do proper introductions once we’re indoors.”

Vinyl strides in, reaching down to run her hand along Sonja’s back, while the stallion glances up from his camera once to acknowledge me as he steps inside. Sonja’s latches onto his heels, sniffing his pants in a valiant effort to get his scent. I shut the door behind them and make a beeline for the kitchen. “You two want anything to drink?”

“Toss me a Mist, would ya?”

“Water’s fine.” His voice is a bit on the higher side, but not vastly different from anything I’ve heard in Equestria so far.

I levitate out a Moonlight Mist from the fridge while I grab a glass and coffee cup. Hey, if I’m going to be doing an interview, which is what I assume the stallion is here for, I’d rather be energized for it. I fill both the glass and cup with water, and with a snap of my fingers, the water in the cup heats up. I grab an instant coffee stick from the counter, tear it open, and dump it into the coffee cup. Not as good as the real thing, but it’ll do in a pinch. I walk back into the living room, floating over to Vinyl and the stallion their respective drink. I teleport in a chair from the kitchen and position it off to the side of the coffee table, since the stallion has taken a seat on the sofa.

“So,” I take a sip of the coffee, unable to suppress the grimace I make, “Care to introduce yourself, friend?”

The stallion clears his throat. “My name is Newsworthy, and I’m with the Canterlot Inquirer.”

Ah, so my suspicions of him being a reporter are confirmed. I look at Vinyl. “You know, you could have told me I was going to be interviewed today. I mean, look at me? Do I look interview ready? Don’t answer that.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Hey, it was spur of the moment.”

“I actually come down to Ponyville today to get a story from one Miss Rainbow Dash about her recent exploits, but, and I’m being honest here, I don’t think that’s going to get more than a couple of paragraphs in the paper. When your manager pulled me aside and offered me the chance to interview you, well, I’d be an idiot to decline.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Back it up. Rainbow’s recent exploits? Just what has she been doing?”

Vinyl lowers her shades slightly and looks at me. “Haven’t you heard? Rainbow’s apparently been on a spree of saving ponies around town. Today alone, she’s saved a filly from a well, stopped a runaway baby carriage from going off a cliff, and prevented the collapse of a balcony at the retirement center.”

I glance at the clock. It’s only two in the afternoon now. Damn, she’s been busy. And just how fast does the news travel here? “Hey, I’ve been in the house all day cleaning. Haven’t really had time to go outside and catch up on what’s been going on.”

Newsworthy shakes his head. “In any case, I believe I’d get a much better story interviewing you over Miss Dash. If you don’t object, that is.” I shake my head. “Excellent, let’s get started.” He pulls the notepad and pencil out of his pocket, and starts scribbling on the notepad. “Blake Quinter, local hero of Ponyville and lead singer of the All-Equestrian Rejects. For those of us that don’t know, please tell me a bit about yourself.”

“The name’s Blake Quinter. I was born on a planet called Earth, which I’m not sure how far it is from Equestria, in the outskirts of a quiet little town. Eventually, I moved away from my parents to go out west, moving closer to a major city, where I resided and worked until ending up here.”

“So it’s safe to say you’re an alien? A creature from beyond the stars?”

“Eh, more or less, yes.” He motions to keep talking. “Anyway, I’m one of the chillest people you’ll ever meet. I love reading, gaming, music, and spending time with my friends. And comedy, can’t forget about that. Laughter makes the world go round and all that.” I chuckle.

“Now, you said you’re from another planet, this Earth. What was it like there?”

I internally sigh. “To be honest, nothing like Equestria. For starters, no magic whatsoever. Nobody from Earth had magic, and those claiming to were nothing more than sleight of hand artists, or characters in stories. ”

“So the reality of magic here must have been quite shocking for you.” I nod my head. “What else?”

“Well, I’d also be lying if I said anybody from Earth had Cutie Marks.”

Newsworthy blinks. “I’m sorry, no Cutie Marks at all? That just seems so… strange.”

I nod my head. “And the concept of Cutie Marks here is strange to me. But, I’m the stranger in the foreign land, not the other way around. Not my place to question how this world operates. But regardless, we don’t need a mark to tell us what to do. We just one day decide we wanna do something, and do it. And more often than not, we had to pay for the education to do said thing. Granted, not all jobs are like that, as I’m sure it’s the same case here.”

Newsworthy scribbles down some more, flipping to another page in his notepad. “Anything else?”

“Actually, a few more things. Let’s just say skin coloration isn’t as… Diverse as it is here. And the sun and moon? Well, nobody controlled those. They operated through complex scientific principles that people smarter than me figured out and understood.”

He eyes me for a moment, before shaking his head. “Now, despite its differences, I’m sure there’s a few things in Equestria that remind you of Earth.”

“I won’t deny that. Everywhere I look, I do see similar things. Be it the architecture, the cultures, the cities, the holidays. The list goes on.” I take a sip of the coffee.

“Could you give some examples?”

I nod my head. “There’s a city called Detrot here? On Earth, we got a city called Detroit. Nightmare Night is the equivalent to Halloween on Earth. Hearts and Hooves translates to Valentine’s Day. I could keep going, but like I said, the list goes on. But not everything is different. All the alcohol brand names are the same, you got the same names for the months and days of the week, same calendar years. That list is much shorter, I’m afraid.” I laugh.

“Now, forgive me for asking, but why did you leave Earth behind?”

I shrug my shoulders. “It wasn’t my choice to. One day, I’m on Earth. The next, I wake up in the Everfree forest and nearly die to a manticore. I’ll tell you, nothing wakes you up more than being attacked by a manticore.” I laugh. “And before you ask, nobody I’ve talked to has ever heard of this happening before, and I’ve been assured that everything is being done to figure out a solution to get me home.”

“So, you’ve woken up on a new planet, with no idea what’s going on, are attacked by a manticore, stumble into Ponyville, and your first instinct is to start a band?” He smiles after saying this.

I laugh. “Actually, that wasn’t the original intention. After I’d settled down and started getting a feel for everything, I was approached by Spike, our drummer, about joining a band he was forming. At the time, we just were gonna be a couple of friends who got together every so often and made a little music. It wasn’t until Vinyl, our talented manager,” I wink at Vinyl, “approached us after a local talent show and offered us the chance to be something bigger that we decided to just say why not and do it. Not like we had anything to lose from it.”

“I’ll say. You’re first album, Eyes on Us, was huge success, and your second, On The Rocks, propelled you further. What do you attribute this success to?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Honestly, I couldn’t say. But if I had to guess, I’d say that it’s because people are curious.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Curious how?”

“Well, I’m an alien. Wouldn’t you want to hear what I say, what I do, what I consider music? To see the unknown phenomenon from beyond the stars? To hear what sound this strange being can produce?!”

He laughs. “Alright, that’s a fair point, and I’d daresay it’s not far from the truth.” He drinks some water and scribbles some more into his notepad. He mumbles some things to himself, before looking up from his notepad and back at me. “Now, I’ve heard a rumor that you’ve got a new album coming out. Are the rumors true?”

I nod my head. “They are indeed. We’ve been working as fast as we can to record all the songs, but with Mac working at his family’s farm most of the time, we’ve fallen a bit behind on recording. But in the meantime, Vinyl and I have been working on the promotional material, album name, tour dates. You know, everything behind the scenes that most aren’t concerned about.”

“And what can we expect from this album?”

I drink some more of the coffee, pondering how to answer this. “I’m a storyteller, I’ll admit that up front and freely. On The Rocks was my way of telling a story of those who walk the line, constantly teetering between balancing and falling off. Our next album will tell the story of those who fall from that line. In which direction,” I smirk, “I won’t say.”

“Oh, secretive. I like it.” He taps his pencil on the notepad. “Let’s get back to talking about you though. You been seen frequently in the company of Princess Luna during your appearances in Canterlot. Any comment on that?”

I laugh. “No comment.”

He chuckles as well. “The expected response to a question like that.” He leans forward. “And this is completely off the record, but it’s good to see Luna out and about, enjoying herself with the populace.”

I smile. “It is indeed. I’d wager I have found a kindred spirit in her, if I do say so myself.”

He shakes his head. “But I digress. Now, before you actually started a band, surely you must have had some idea or plan to acquire funds? After all, I’d hardly believe that whatever constitutes as money for you would translate to bits.”

“And you’re absolutely correct in your assumption. Whatever money I had is no good here. Celestia was gracious enough to provide me with money on a monthly basis to survive, but I didn’t want to mooch off of that forever, so I set out to find a job. Lo and behold, Vinyl was hiring for her record store. Speaking of,” I look at Vinyl, “I never did show back up for work after the events of Hearths Warming.”

Vinyl laughs. “I officially fired you ages ago, just never got around to telling you.”

“Yeah, figured that was the case.” I laugh. “Anyway, that’s all my job history for here in Equestria.”

Newsworthy raises an eyebrow. “And before Equestria?”

“Back on Earth, I was a simple fry cook. Not a glamourous job, but it paid the bills and kept food on the table. What I really wanted to do was actually put my college degree to use and work at some technology company, but alas, it never came to be. And I doubt it will now, but I’m happy with the life I’ve made so far.”

He nods his head, and scribbles down some more notes. I catch his eyes glancing at something, but I refrain from saying anything. “Mind if I ask about that?” He points at something on the wall.

I follow his finger and see what he’s pointing at. It’s a picture of Scootaloo and I back from her birthday. We’re beaming at the camera, Scootaloo proudly holding up her Wonderbolts flight suit. I smile and lean back in my chair. “Ah, that’s my daughter and I back from her birthday.”

“Your daughter?”

“Adopted daughter. Haven’t shacked up with anybody here.” I chuckle at that.

“Proud Wonderbolts fan, eh?” He laughs. “What’s her name?”

I turn back to face him. “I’m not answering that one just to keep her anonymity safe. She didn’t ask to be adopted by a musician and thrust into this life, and I intend to keep it that way. She deserves to have a normal life as a kid and not be pestered by our fans just because she’s related to me. The same goes for anyone who’s close to me.”

He nods his head. “Understandable. Didn’t mean to intrude.”

I shake my head. “Nothing to intrude about. You asked a legitimate question about something you saw.”

“Regardless, what’s she like? She’s obviously a fan of the Wonderbolts.”

I smirk. “Well, she’s a spitfire, that’s for sure.” We all laugh at that. As our laughter dies down, I continue, “But really, she’s a good kid. She’s very active and a bit headstrong, bit more on the street smarts side if you catch my drift, but I love her all the same. She’s easily one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. And I’ll never forget everything we’ve done since she came into my life.”

He smiles. “Pretty sure you aren’t alone in that boat. A lot of parents feel the same about any of their kids.” He jots down some more notes in his notepad. “Well, I believe I got enough here for a story. Well, enough that wasn’t already told elsewhere.” He drinks some more water. He then stands up and offers his hand out to me, which I happily shake. “Thanks for the interview.”

I smile. “Anytime. You know where to find me now, and you could always get in contact with Vinyl if you want another interview.”

“I’ll definitely take you up on the offer.”

I lead Newsworthy and Vinyl to the front door. “Nice meeting you, Newsworthy. Vinyl, I’ll see you around.”

As I shut the door, I hear Newsworthy ask, “Would you mind if I asked you a few questions as well, Vinyl?”

I wonder what kind of questions he wants to ask her? Eh, it’s out of my hands now and not my problem. Speaking of problem… “You’ve been strangely quiet up there.”

“Yeah, because I’m actually getting work done! You know how nice it is to be able to do something without being interrupted constantly? Don’t answer that, I already know the answer.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll leave you to it then. Wouldn’t want to intrude on your highly important work.” I whistle to grab Sonja’s attention. “Want to head out, girl?” I shake my head. That’s a question I never need to ask. I slip on a pair of shoes and grab a jacket while Sonja waits at the door. After that terrible coffee, I need something better tasting… And maybe something a little sweet to go with it.

I step out of the way of a bunch of kids running down the street with all manner of what looks to be handmade Rainbow Dash merchandise. I spot a tuft of cerise hair in the crowd. “Scootaloo!”

She skids to a halt in front of me while the rest of the kids keep going. “What’s up, Dad?”

I casually eye the kids moving down the road. “Rainbow Dash Fan Club?”

“Yeah! We’ve gotten even bigger ever since Rainbow Dash has been saving ponies all day. Of course, why wouldn’t she?! She’s just so awesome!”

I have to chuckle. “Yes, I heard about her heroic deeds. Where’s your club going next?”

“Back to the clubhouse! We just got some awesome pictures with Rainbow at Sugarcube Corner!” She glances in the direction of the kids. “Sorry, Dad, but I gotta catch up! See you later!” With her wings buzzing, she speeds off towards the kids.

I wave to her retreating form while resuming my walk towards Sugarcube Corner. I casually push open the door to the jingling of the bell above it. “Blake! Here to listen to some of my awesome heroics today?”

I casually wave to the rest of the girls sitting in a booth off to the side, Sonja immediately sitting at Fluttershy’s hooves and receiving her loving affection, at Spike sitting in a chair with a notepad and quill, and Rainbow proudly standing in the middle of the room rubbing a hand on her chest. “Nope.” I walk past Rainbow to the counter. “Here for coffee and food. It’s just a huge coincidence that you’re here too.” Pinkie’s already sliding a cup of coffee across the counter while I peruse what’s available today.

“Whadda mean no?! Everypony wants to hear about me being a hero today!”

“Two regular donuts.” I toss enough bits on the counter to cover the cost before grabbing the cup and taking a long swig of the bitter, life giving nectar. “Yeah, well, I heard all I needed to hear from someone else about your heroics. You saved some lives, and I applaud you for that, but there’s nothing more to it that I need to hear.” Pinkie slides a plate with the baked goods on it towards me. With a whistle, I grab one of the donuts and hold it down low for Sonja to grab. She gingerly takes it out of my hand before returning to her spot beside Fluttershy. I grab the plate and slide over a chair beside the girls booth before sitting down and taking my first bite of the donut.

“See Rainbow? Even Blake doesn’t need to hear anymore. Yes, we’re all very proud of you for your heroics,” I can practically hear the air quotes there, “But there’s a thin line between being proud and shameless boasting.” I catch Applejack drumming her fingers on the table, Rarity’s eye roll, and Pinkie actually frowning. Yeah, I can tell the girls are thoroughly annoyed with Rainbow right now.

“Whatever. You guys are just jealous that I’m writing an autobiography about my amazing deeds. You get all that, Spike?”

“Amazing deeds. Got it!” He flashes her a thumbs up… er, claw up I guess?

I raise an eyebrow. “An autobiography is—”

Twilight groans. “Already brought that up, Blake. Spike’s ghost writing for her.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Whatever then.”

“All we’re saying, Rainbow dear, is that it might do wonders if you cut back on your… Enthusiasm, shall we say.”

“Why? Everypony loves me! Heh, that’s not hard to do cause of how awesome I am.”

I lick the crumbs from the donut off my fingers and take another drink of the coffee. “Then why are you standing here, hero? There could be others out there who need you?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m heading out anyway to do more awesome hero things. Let’s go, Spike. You got more stories about yours truly to write.” Rainbow bolts out the door, with Spike running after her. Yeah, little guy ain’t gonna be able to keep up with her. Frankly, I don’t think anybody can.

“Ah take it everypony else is annoyed with Rainbow acting the way she is?” There’s nods from the rest of the girls.

“I mean, I’m proud of Rainbow and all, but…”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, let her have her moment in the spotlight. It’ll die out and she’ll be back to normal eventually.”

“It still doesn’t excuse Rainbow for her behavior. She’s not even acknowledging how she’s acting, let alone what she’s saying.”

I sigh. “And while I do agree, Twilight, I’m going to counter your argument by pointing out that Rarity did the exact same damn thing at the Young Flyers Competition, and I didn’t hear anyone tell Rarity to curb her enthusiasm.”

“Blake does have a point there.” Great, even Pinkie sees the parallels I’m drawing.

“What— You— Waah?” Rarity takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “That’s all in the past, and I’ve since learned my lesson. We’re not here to reflect on past mistakes, but rather on Rainbow’s current behavior.” Try as you might, Rarity, I will not forget that one mistake.

I down the rest of the coffee and set the cup on the table. I hold my hands up. “Alright, alright. Focus on the now, I get that. I’m just saying.”

“Ah don’t know about the rest of ya’ll, but ah’m ready to teach Rainbow a lesson.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m not being a part of whatever your planning. Good luck and all that with whatever you’re doing.” I stand up and head for the door. “But if you want my honest feelings, let Rainbow burn herself out or fail miserably. Either way, she’ll eventually come back down to the ground and realize, hopefully, how she acted. If she doesn’t, you could always try to explain it to her then. You know the saying after all,” I look over my shoulder and smirk, “Pride before the fall.”

“Well, would you look at that.” I say aloud at the breakfast table.

Scootaloo swallows her cereal and leans forward with her wings buzzing. “Is it another article on Mare Do Well?!”

I slide the paper over to her. “See for yourself.” She snatches it from the table and flips right to the article on Mare Do Well saving the day once again, this time stopping the Ponyville Dam from breaking. It’s been about a week now since Mare Do Well showed up, and fourteen days since anyone last heard Rainbow do something heroic. Granted, there’s not much she can do, since Mare Do Well keeps showing her up at her own heroics.

Scootaloo slams the paper down, causing Sonja to jerk awake under the table. I rub her with my foot to calm her down. “Mare Do Well is just so awesome! I wanna know more about her!”

“Think you might break Rainbow’s heart if she heard you say that.”

“Well, there’s nopony more awesome than Rainbow Dash, duh. But when a real life superhero shows up? Who wouldn’t say she’s awesome?!” I glance once more at the photo a random bystander took of Mare Do Well flying over a cheering crowd after plugging up the dam. Well, I can certainly say I know of one pony, judging by one very distinctive scowling pegasus in the background. Scootaloo glances at the clock. “Oh shit, I’m gonna be late for the Mare Do Well Fan Club meeting!”

I raise an eyebrow. “Don’t you mean your Rainbow Dash Fan Club meeting?”

She shakes her head while grabbing a backpack. “Nah, we pushed that meeting back. Right now it’s all Mare Do Well!”

I shake my head, but can’t help smiling. I grab the paper back and flip back to the page where I left off. “Have fun then.”

“I will. Oh, hey.” I glance away from the paper to her. “I’m gonna be home late. Want me to grab a pizza for dinner?”

“Hmm… Yeah, pizza sounds good. You got the cash to cover it?”

“Yeah, I got enough. The usual?” I flash a thumbs up. “Got it. See you tonight!”

“Don’t cause too much trouble.”

She laughs. “It’s not like I’m going crusading. How much trouble could I get into? Don’t answer that.” I have to smirk. Even she’s aware that the Crusaders usually get into trouble at the end of their crusades.

I hear the front door slam shut, leaving me alone to my own devices. I read through the Mare Do Well article some more before folding the paper up and floating it over to the trash can. Honestly, anyone with even half a brain cell should be questioning how Mare Do Well has wings and a horn, traits only possessed by alicorns. And according to common knowledge, there’s only three in existence at this point in time. Two, for those that have no clue who Cadence is. So the question should not be who is this mysterious Mare Do Well, but rather, when did we get another alicorn?

The front door slams back open, causing Sonja and I to both jump. “Blake! I gotta talk to you!”

I frown. “Nice of you to knock, Rainbow. Now go shut my front door, calmly walk back here, and take a seat. Till then, I ain’t talking.”

She huffs. “Fine.” She trudges out of my line of sight, mumbling something under her breath. I hear the front door shut before Rainbow walks back into the kitchen and sits across from me at the table. “Happy now?”

“Ecstatic. Now, what’s got you worked up?”

She slams the table with both hands, eliciting another frown from me. Seriously, what is with people banging on my property? “Everypony is forgetting that I’m a hero around here! Even Spike’s stopped writing my autobiography to go write about this Mare Do Well character who’s stealing my thunder!”

I lean back in my chair. “And that’s a bad thing how?”

“Are you serious right now?! I’m the hero around here, not her!”

I eye Rainbow. “First, calm down and listen to yourself.”

“I am calm!” I raise an eyebrow. “Okay, okay, jeez.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, slowly letting it out. “There.”

“Excellent. Now, listen to me and listen well. You’ve been acting arrogant and cocky ever since you’ve did your heroic deeds, and we’re all happy for you, and you should be as well. But,” Rainbow opens her mouth, but I use some magic to hold it shut, “You’ve taken it too far. Everybody can only take so much of what you’ve been doing before they get upset.” I release my grip on her mouth.

“Too far? Everypony should be grateful that I’m here! Everypony should be praising me for what I did! I’m a hero for Celestia’s sake!”

“And people are grateful. But they don’t need to be reminded of it every waking moment of the day, seven days a week. Do you see me, the one who saved this entire town, saved my friends and family, from Diamond Dogs not once but twice, walking around town boasting that everyone should be grateful, you’re lucky I’m here, they should write a book about me, I’m insanely awesome, and so on? Well, did I?

She flinches. “No…” She shakes her head and leans forward. “But that’s you! I’m not like that.”

“Okay, let’s look at this a different way. You remember the Best Young Flier’s competition?”

She scoffs. “How could I not? I got to spend the day with the Wonderbolts because of it.”

“And you remember how Rarity was acting?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I remember. It was all, ‘Oh, my wings are so pretty, everypony look at me! I’m so fabulous! Nopony can match my beautiful wings! Look at me!’ It got so annoying that it actually psyched me out that I wasn’t good… Enough...” Her eyes widen. “Wow, was I really acting like that?” I nod my head. “Geez, I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”

“Everyone is grateful for what you did, Rainbow, and they won’t soon forget that. But you must learn to be humble in your deeds, and to not let arrogance drive you. You must have the humility to fail when others outshine you.”

She shakes her head. “Wow, I can’t believe I was acting like that. Is everypony upset with me?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I know five mares that probably feel very annoyed.”

She scratches the back of her head and looks up at the ceiling. “Heh, I guess I do owe them an apology.”

“That you do.”

“I guess I’ll let Mare Do Well be the hero right now. Thanks for slowing me down, Blake.”

“Anytime, though I do have one more thing to discuss with you.”

She tilts her head. “About what?”

“Mare Do Well.”

“What about her?”

I smirk and lean forward in my chair, resting my clasped hands on the table. “An observation I’ve made, which I’m genuinely surprised nobody else has made. Have you noticed that not only does this Mare Do Well have a horn, but wings as well?”

“Huh?” She scratches her head a bit before her eyes widen. “She’s an alicorn?!”

I laugh. “To those not in the know, yes. But further observation has lead me to the identity of her as well.”

“Wait, you’re saying you know who Mare Do Well is?” I nod my head, prompting Rainbow to slam her hands on the table. “Awesome, who is she?”

I raise an eyebrow. “You realize the purpose of a superhero costume is to mask their identity, prevent others from knowing it?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well, it’s not like I’m gonna tell anypony else. Now, who is she?”

Somehow, I doubt that. With a sigh, I continue. “It’s not just one pony who dons the outfit, Rainbow.”

“You mean there’s two ponies in that outfit?!”

I shake my head. “Multiple outfits, multiple ponies. Who you’re seeing at the time changes.”

“Well, who are they then?!” By now, Rainbow’s stood up from her chair and is practically leaning across the table to get right in my face.

“Why Rainbow my dear, it’s four mares that you and I are close friends with. Some might even say they have a certain harmony to them.”

Her mouth opens and closes a few times before she slowly leans back and sits back down. “You mean it’s the girls?” I nod my head. Rainbow rubs the temples of her forehead. “That doesn’t make any sense though!”

“But it does. We’ll skip when she first appeared during the hot air balloon incident because I’m still not sure who it was at that time. The next time she showed up was when that cart went out of control and went for that cliff, correct?”

“Yeah. She basically stood in front of the cart and pushed against it till it stopped. I wasn’t sure she was gonna be able to stop in.”

I nod my head. “And I don’t know about you, but have you seen the muscles on Applejack? Girl looks like she could roundhouse kick a rock and break it in two, or stop a runaway cart with nothing but pure strength.” Part of me still says Twilight had a little helping hand in that one, or was the backup in case it actually did go off the cliff.

“Fine, that one could have been Applejack. But what about at the construction site? Nopony is that good to be able to dodge all that falling debris and rescue all the workers! It’s like she had another sense that…” She pauses before facepalming. “Dammit. That was Pinkie, wasn’t it?” I nod my head. “And Twilight fixed the dam, cause Rarity doesn’t have that kind of magical power, and Fluttershy did the flyover afterwards. Okay, yeah, that makes sense now. But still, why’d they do it?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Can’t say for certain, but this is probably their way of trying to get you to come down off your high horse and stop your bragging and boasting by outshining you in being heroic.”

“Okay, but why go through all this trouble when they could have, I don’t know, talked to me like you are right now?!”

“Again, I can’t say. I was certain at some point you’d come down from your high and listen to us, but I guess they weren’t patient enough and decided to take matters into their own hands.”

She sighs and hangs her head. “Jeez, all this just to try to get me to listen.” She chuckles and looks up, a smirk on her face. “You know, I’m actually kind of impressed they went through all this trouble. Guess I better go find them and apologize. Thanks again!” Before she can bolt out the door, I grab her tail with magic and hold her. “Hey, what gives?!”

I pull her back towards the chair. Getting the hint, she sits down of her own volition as I release my grip on her tail. “Yes, you can apologize to the girls. But first, I want your help to get back at them.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Get back at them? They did nothing wrong, as far as I can tell. They were only trying to help me understand how I was acting.”

“And helping friends out is all fine and dandy. What I want to get back at them for is how they went about trying to teach you the lesson I just told, without having to go about with this extravagant charade, and not even once considering my opinion, let alone informing me this is what they were doing. Not every problem in the world has to be solved with a long and complicated plan. Sometimes all it takes is just a few words.”

She nods her head. “Okay, I’m in. What’d you have in mind?

I smirk and lean forward. “They wanna play superhero? That’s fine. But every good superhero needs a supervillain.”

She smiles. “I’m liking were this is going.”

“Agent—”

“Say no more, I’m already on it.”

A crowd has been gathering around a stage that’s been set up to celebrate Mare Do Well while I’ve been stealthily surveying them from the rooftops. Nobody should be able to see me with my Cloak and Dagger active, but as an extra precaution, I’ve disguised myself as a random pegasi that I’m pretty sure lives in Canterlot and would have no business being in Ponyville. I glance up at the clouds above, catching sight of Rainbow positioned on a cloud. Everything’s going according to plan so far…

My eyes lock on Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy not at the very edge of the crowd, but close enough that any one of them could slink away and dress up as Mare Do Well should the need arise. Making sure no one is looking, I creep further back out of eyesight and decloak. I whistle, which grabs Rainbow’s attention. She leaps off her cloud and lands on the roof beside me. “You see them?”

“Yeah, everyone minus Applejack. Get into position near the stage. I’m gonna start our little diversion.”

“Gotcha! This is gonna be so awesome!” She returns to her cloud and moves it closer to the right side of the stage if one were facing it.

I, on the other hand, cloak again and drop down from my position on the roofs to land in a nearby alley. I reach into a pouch on my costume and fish out some smoke bombs I ‘borrowed’ from Trixie. I move out of the alley and back onto the street, slowly making my way towards the crowd. The mayor has just started her speech by the time I get close enough to execute our diversion.

Using a little fire spell, I light the fuses on the smoke bombs and toss them into the crowd and onto the stage randomly. As the smoke bombs start going off and dispersing their payload, I drop both my disguise and cloak and make a dash through the crowd towards the right side of the stage. The smoke is incredibly thick and dense that it’d be hard to see more than a couple feet around you. Unless, that is, if you didn’t plan ahead and come equipped with thermal goggles. As we planned, Rainbow is already on the ground and climbing onto the stage.

I leap onto the stage after her. She lies with her back down as I come up and gingerly wrap my left hand around her neck while handing her the Cloak and Dagger with my right. “Ready?” I whisper.

She puts the watch on her left wrist, and then reaches up with both her hands and grabs my arm. “We’re doing this, ain’t we? Too late to back out now.”

With a nod, I reach up with my right hand and turn the thermal goggles off with a tap to my mask and turn on the voice modulation embedded into the costume with two taps to my throat. I raise my right hand up in the air, claws extending from the fingertips. As the smoke starts dispersing, I lean in close to Rainbow’s face. “Who is she?” Oh, I’m loving that deep, gravelly voice. Nice touch by Agent.

“You doubted my abilities? You wound me.”

Rainbow, for her part, starts kicking her legs. “Let go of me!”

“I said.” I lift Rainbow’s head up just enough so that I can slam it back down. Not hard enough to hurt her, but enough for her head to jerk. “Who is she?”

“What is the meaning of this?”

I glance towards the mayor. “Stay out of this. This is between Mare Do Well and I.” I look out towards the crowd. Most have backed away from the stage. I haven’t looked at myself in the mirror since putting on the costume, but it more than likely is intimidating looking. Dark purple cape, dark purple suit, red eyes, prosthetic horn built into the mask to give the appearance of a unicorn, and the glowing claws on the gloves. Yep, I’d say I’m intimidating enough.

I look back at Rainbow. “One last time. Who is Mare Do Well?!”

“How should I know?! Nopony knows who she is!”

“Then where is she?!”

There’s the sound of something hitting the ground off to my right. I look up and see ‘Mare Do Well’ standing on the other side of the stage, her cape fluttering in the breeze. I stand up, lifting Rainbow up along with me. Granted, I’m using magic to actually hold her up, but for appearances sake, it looks like I’m lifting her up by her neck alone. “Mare Do Well, so kind of you to show up. My boss would like to have a nice long chat with you about the… Current state of their business operations and your role in them.” She points to Rainbow, then to the crowd. “Let her go? Why would I let your sidekick go?”

“I ain’t nopony’s sidekick!”

I shake Rainbow. “Don’t lie to me, mare. Everywhere Mare Do Well is, you’re right there with her and failing miserably at being a ‘hero’, just like the bungling sidekick you are. It’s a wonder Mare Do Well hasn’t ditched you yet, or worse. She ever tell you what happened to her last sidekick?”

Mare Do Well raises her fists and spreads her legs, putting her left foot forward. “I’d be careful, if I were you. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to your precious sidekick.” For emphasis, I drag a claw across Rainbow’s cheek, eliciting a hiss through her teeth as a thin line of blood oozes out. “You know, this all could have been avoided if you had just let those ponies… Meet their fate, shall we say. Instead, you had to be the hero and save them, and my boss is very displeased about that. However, my boss has found two new ponies they’d like to collect on, and I got one of them right here.” I cup Rainbows chin and turn her to face Mare Do Well. “However, I might be able to negotiate the release of your sidekick. If you give yourself up that is.” Nope, she’s not moving.

“You see that, Mare? Even Mare Do Well doesn’t care about you. Very well then. You’ve made your choice, Mare Do Well. I’ll be sure to tell my boss you’ll be swinging by shortly.” I reach into a pouch and grab a few of the more potent smoke bombs (Which means thicker fog and longer lasting, according to the box I took them from), lighting the fuses. “Till next time, Mare Do Well. I look forward to our confrontation.” I spin in a circle, throwing out the smoke bombs in such a way that I have maximum coverage. Once the smoke is thick, I let Rainbow go as she activates the Cloak and Dagger while flying off, while I disguise myself as a pegasus again and teleport back to the alley I was in before.

Working quickly, I strip off my costume and drop it in a cardboard box I left in the alley before throwing the box into a dumpster. I drop my disguise and draw the Diamondback, and then run out of the alley back towards the stage as panic sets in about the disappearance of Rainbow and the masked stranger.

“Who was that?!”

“Where’d they go?”

“He took Rainbow Dash!”

I start shoving my way through the crowd towards the stage. “Move aside, move aside!” I climb up onto the stage. “What happened?!”

Twilight comes up to the edge of the stage. “Blake! Somepony just ponynapped Rainbow!”

“Who?”

“It was a really mean looking unicorn with a claw! A claw!” Pinkie says.

“And why would they take Rainbow?”

“He said something about her being Mare Do Well’s sidekick and that his boss wanted her and Mare Do Well since they’ve been saving lives around here!”

I slowly turn my head to glare at Mare Do Well. “What I’m hearing is that this is all your fault.” I stalk across the stage towards her. “An Element of Harmony, one of my friends, was taken because you had to be a hero. You couldn’t just keep your damn nose out of things here. You just couldn’t let Rainbow Dash continue being a hero.” I get right up into her face and poke her chest. “Your sidekick or not, you better help find her. And I swear on everything I hold dear that if something happens to her, I will relentlessly hunt you down and make you experience pain the likes of which you’ve never felt before, to the point that you will wish for me to end it.”

I hear a gulp. “Blake, darling, you can’t blame Mare Do Well for this.”

I glare at Rarity. “Bullshit I can’t. Because she,” I point at Mare Do Well, “had to come to Ponyville for whatever reason, and stick around! She not only brought a supervillain with, but also caused an Element of Harmony to be kidnapped!” I look out towards the crowd. “And will somebody get Trixie and Derpy here, now!”

After organizing a search party and getting the Princesses involved, we each broke off into our separate tasks and began our search. Well, except for Mare Do Well, who “mysteriously” vanished shortly after. It was determined that Luna and I would scour the Everfree Forest in search of Rainbow, it being the likely place for a villain’s hideout.

“And they don’t suspect a thing?” I had to bring Luna in on our plan for everything to go accordingly.

“If they do, they’re certainly hiding it well.” I keep one hand on the Diamondback as a precaution.

“But isn’t this a tad… Extravagant as well? You said it yourself, they didn’t need to go through all this trouble if they would have just talked to Rainbow Dash, but you’re doing the exact same thing with this elaborate ruse.”

I shake my head. “Eh, an eye for an eye, two wrongs don’t make a right, whatever turn of phrase you prefer to use. The point is, this is teaching a lesson to all involved. Plus, who says I can’t have a little fun?” I smirk up at Luna.

She chuckles. “As long as you’re aware of what you’re doing, and the potential repercussions of such actions.”

It isn’t long before we reach the rope bridge before the Castle of the Two Sisters. Luna and I cross the bridge and walk into the castle proper. “I imagine this place used to look amazing back in the day.”

She sighs and walks further into the room, running her hand along a tapestry that very nearly touches the floor. “It was truly a sight to behold. Tis a shame it has fallen into such disrepair.” She picks up a tattered banner on the floor and rubs it between her fingers.

I walk up behind her and pat her shoulder. “Hey, I kinda like it the way it is though. It signifies a time that doesn’t reflect the now, much like you and I.”

She smiles. “Still though, I wish there was somepony other than my sister who can remember the spendor these halls used to have and the stories they contained.”

I raise an eyebrow, but refrain from saying anything. “But just imagine what it could be if this place was also renovated slightly. A few touches here and there, a couple secret rooms, and bam, you got yourself a nice secret hideout for guards that may or may not be officially listed on any known documents.”

She laughs. “Are you implying something?”

I smirk and walk away with my hands in my pockets. “No, of course not, Luna. I’d never imply anything to you.”

“Geez, could you two be any louder?” Rainbow lands on the ground in front of us. She tosses me the Cloak and Dagger, which I slip back onto my wrist.

“Rainbow Dash, a pleasure.”

Rainbow holds out her fist, which Luna bumps with her fist. “Right back at ya, Luna.” Glad to see they’re getting along.

“Let me apologize first for the whole…” I motion towards where I cut Rainbow’s cheek.

“Pftt, don’t worry about that. Had to make it believable right? Besides, that’s nothing compared to some of the cuts I’ve had before.”

Luna coughs. “Blake has already informed me of thy plan so far, but the details still elude me on how we intend to ‘rescue’ Rainbow.”

“Yeah, you never did tell me the rest of the plan. What, didn’t think we’d make it this far?”

I shake my head. “No, I fully intended to get this far. Just need to make this somewhat believable now...”

“Well, we gotta think of something! I do kinda have a life I wanna get back to.”

“Relax, Rainbow Dash. We will surely think of something. Blake?” I look up from my internal musings at Luna. “What was your original plan?”

I cross my arms and glance up at the ceiling. “Well, I was just gonna walk back to town with Rainbow, make up some story about how she escaped from her captors and that I found her wandering the Everfree. All without Mare Do Well’s help.”

“But… Cause there’s always a but.”

“True, Rainbow. After seeing how… Enamored the town is with Mare Do Well, we need to somehow weave her into actually saving Rainbow without actually resorting to fighting which of the Elements is wearing the costume. I’m not against a fight, but the less chance I have to hurt anybody else, the better.”

Luna taps her hoof against the floor. “Hmm… Tis possible we could stage a fight, similar to what the guards of old would do for entertainment purposes. We would have to let whoever into the plan as well.”

I shake my head. “That’s an option, but who’s to say it’d be just Mare Do Well? By now, Celestia’s probably called in guards, and who’s to say I wouldn’t be ‘fighting’ her?” I shudder.

“I’ve heard the sun is wonderful this time of year. The moon is a close second.”

Rainbow hisses through her teeth. “Yeah, didn’t think about that. Uh, no offense, Blake, but my bits are on Celestia in that outcome.”

“Worry not about my sister. I can handle her if needed.”

I rub my chin. “Hmm… It does have some merit…” I shake my head. “But we’ll keep that as plan C. Any other ideas?”

“Couldn’t we just, I don’t know, lure Mare Do Well away from Ponyville?”

I pause. “Possible, but we’d need an eyewitness to tell the story of your ‘rescue’, and if you hadn’t noticed, Mare Do Well is silent. You’d have to be the one to make a believable story.”

“I guess I could come up with something then…”

“Just pretend you’re telling one of your heroic stories again and you’ll do fine.”

Rainbow nods her head. “Yeah, yeah, I can do that! One story that’ll wow everypony, coming right up!”

“That’s the spirit! Luna,” I turn to look at her, “I need you to return to Ponyville and inform Mare Do Well that we’ve found the kidnappers hideout in the castle here. Make sure to stress that Mare Do Well comes alone, and only her. If anybody asks where I am, say I’m keeping an eye on the hideout till Mare Do Well arrives.”

Luna raises an eyebrow. “Us finding the hideout and you staying behind? Any smart pony would get suspicious that you are in fact the ponynapper.”

I sigh and rub my temple. “Who knew staging a kidnapping and rescue would be so hard? Fine then, we both go back to Ponyville, but I need to come back to subdue whoever is under the mask and explain the situation. Rainbow, go back into hiding.”

“Right. See you guys in a bit.” She runs down a hallway, her hoof falls echoing throughout the chamber.

“Brace thyself, Blake.” I only have time to blink before we’re back in Ponyville, outside of the town hall.

I nod my head at Luna, and then push open the doors. “We’ve found the kidnappers hideout!” Derpy, Mare Do Well, Celestia, Pinkie, and Twilight look up from a table covered in a map of Equestria. Around the room, a couple dozen or so guards are polishing weapons or standing guard. They spare the briefest of glances my way before resuming their activities.

“Where is it then?” Twilight asks.

“The Castle of the Two Sisters. Found a clump of Rainbow’s hair outside it.”

“Great! So, we gonna go teach these guys a lesson?” Derpy asks.

I nod my head. “Yes, they’re going to be taught a lesson.” I stare at Mare Do Well. “But it’ll just be Mare Do Well and I going.”

“What? Have you seen this pony?!” Pinkie grabs my shirt and pulls me close. “He has a claw! A claw!” She violently shakes me.

I gently unclench her hands from my shirt. “So I’ve heard. Still, nothing will stop me from going after him. And besides, I got the ‘famous’ Mare Do Well with me, who’s obviously tangled with this villain before.

“But Mare Do Well and you can’t stop him!”

Hmm… A chance to call them out on their lie right now. I raise an eyebrow. “And why is that, Twilight? Surely Mare Do Well can handle a villain of this caliber.”

“Blake, I must insist that you allow the guards to go in place of you and Mare Do Well.” Dammit Celestia, why you gotta step in at the most inopportune moment?

“And do what, Celestia? March up to the front gate, knock, and politely ask to be let in? Why not announce your arrival with fanfare while you’re at it?” I shake my head. “Sending a massive group of guards, or you and Luna for that matter, is basically announcing your arrival to everyone in the vicinity. Do that, and you’re gonna make these kidnappers either do something to Rainbow, or go even further into hiding that we may altogether lose our chance at saving Rainbow.”

“Sister, it’d be in our best interest to listen to Blake. We do not want to risk the lives of our subjects, let alone one as important as an Element Bearer. Let us not be hasty in our decision making.”

“Blake, could I talk to you for a second?” I don’t have time to respond before Derpy pulls me a good distance away from everyone else. She leans in close to me and whispers. “Listen, I know you wanna go it alone, but Trixie and I could shadow you from a distance, provide help if things don’t go as expected. We’re a team, and we need to act like one.”

I smirk. “Relax, Derpy. There won’t be any trouble whatsoever. Rainbow will be perfectly safe.”

She stares at me for a time before both of her eyes focus solely on me. That’s… Kinda off putting. “You know something, don’t you?”

“Yes.” I blink. Why the hell did I just say that?

“Why the hell did you just say that? Thought you were keeping this a secret, save for a select few?!”

“I don’t know why! It sorta just came out!”

“What is it?”

I sigh and lean in closer. “Listen, what I’m about to tell you must get back to no one. Don’t tell the Elements, don’t tell Celestia, hell, don’t even tell Trixie.”

Her eyes unfocus and go back to normal. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She goes through the motions with each statement.

I lean in closer, so that I’m basically breathing on her ear. “I’m the one who took Rainbow.”

She eyes me for a bit. “I know you, you wouldn’t do it without a good reason.”

“She’s safe and well aware of what I planned to do, let me assure you on that. As for the why, it’s mostly to teach a lesson to the Elements about talking out problems instead of going through these convoluted schemes.”

She raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms. “All this to teach a lesson that you’re basically doing too?”

I rub the back of my neck. “Heh, kinda the same thing Luna said too. But that’s beside the point. Listen, just play along for the sake of it, please?”

She taps her hoof on the floor a few times before smiling. “Yeah, I guess I can do that. You always do have a plan. Besides,” She uncrosses her arms and looks over my shoulder, “It’s about time the Elements put up the cape and move on.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You knew?”

She chuckles. “Yeah, I knew. Kinda obvious once you think about it. Figured you’d already figured out their identity anyway.”

I smile at her. “For such a smart pony, you hide it incredibly well.”

“Not that hard really, what with my condition.” She points to her eyes for emphasis and laughs, which I do as well.

“If you two are done over there, Trixie’s heard you’ve found the hideout?”

I glance over my shoulder. Huh, must have missed Trixie and Fluttershy return. Weird combo for a search party, I know, but having Fluttershy with someone… Combat capable just made sense to me. “Hey, Trixie, Fluttershy.” I walk back over to the table. “Yeah, Luna and I believe the hideout is at the Castle of the Two Sisters.” I cross my arms and look at Celestia and Luna. “I’m planning on taking just Mare Do Well and I into the castle to retrieve Rainbow, but I’m being blocked here.”

Celestia shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Blake, but we cannot allow just you and Mare Do Well to handle this alone.”

I glance at Luna, who just shrugs her shoulders. “Celestia, please. Mare Do Well and I are more than capable of handling this.”

“Blake, it’s just too dangerous for you and Mare Do Well.”

I scoff. “Come on, Twilight. Too dangerous? She’s a superhero, and I’ve faced an entire army of Diamond Dogs. Pretty sure we can handle this.”

“You might be able to, but she can’t.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And why is that, Twilight? Pretty sure you can’t get the hero title without putting yourself in dangerous situations.”

Fluttershy grabs my hand. “Blake, please. Just let the guards handle this.”

“No.” I pull my hand out of Fluttershy’s grasp. “This ‘hero’ strolled into town and brought a supervillain with her. Rainbow was kidnapped because of her. And now, instead of fixing her own mess, she’s content to sit behind and let others clean up after her. And if she thinks she’s getting away with that, you’re mistaken!”

“Applejack is Mare Do Well!” All eyes turn to Pinkie, who’s hugging herself and rocking back and forth.

Mare Do Well pulls off her mask. “Pinkie, you were supposed ta keep that a secret!”

“Trixie did not see that one coming.” I look at her and mouth seriously. She just shrugs her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, but Rainbow Dash is still in danger while we stand here arguing! Every second we waste is another second Dashie could be in pain!”

“Ya don’t think ah know that!”

I slowly clap my hands, all eyes being drawn to me. “Well, congratulations for revealing the truth finally. Seriously, good show, great plan.”

“Wait, you knew?”

I roll my eyes. “Of course I knew, Twilight. You’d have to be blind to not see the truth. No offense to anyone who didn’t figure that out.”

Trixie crosses her arms. “Trixie takes some offense to that.”

“Then why didn’t you say something sooner?” Fluttershy asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “Why bother? You didn’t listen to me in the first place anyway. If it didn’t stop you then, it wasn’t gonna stop you now. And because of that, this is all your fault.”

“Our fault?! If Rainbow would’ve just listened—”

I glare at Applejack. “And if you would’ve listened to me, we wouldn’t be in this mess of Rainbow being kidnapped by a supervillain!”

“But you heard Rainbow, Blake! You saw how she was acting, how she wasn’t listening to any of us!”

“And what was so bad about that, huh?! Sure, it was annoying and frankly quite rude, but it wasn’t like she was hurting anyone by running her mouth off! She would have stopped eventually once she ran out of ‘heroic’ things to do! Then you could have easily talked to her, made her see the error of her ways! But no, you had to go with the ‘Hey, let’s pretend to be a superhero’ plan!”

“Ahem.” We all look at Celestia. “While I hate to cut this… Lesson short, we have more pressing concerns right now, namely the rescue of Rainbow Dash.”

I sigh and shake my head. “Forgive me, everyone. I’m worried about Rainbow Dash, and the stress of it is getting to me.”

Pinkie squeezes me tight and surprisingly lifts me off the ground. “Oh, that’s okay! We’re not mad at you. We’re all worried about Rainbow Dash in our own way. But we’ll save her because we’re the heroes that always triumph—”

“Air…” I wheeze out.

Pinkie lets me go. “Whoopsie! Sorry, Blake!”

“Blake, now you see why we cannot allow just you and Applejack to go after this villain. We cannot endanger either one of you.” ...Then why did I sign up to protect the Elements if Celestia is gonna forbid me from doing my job?

“But sister, Blake still made a valid point. We cannot march up to this scoundrels lair with the force of the guard behind us. We’d only endanger Rainbow Dash more.”

I nod my head. “Which is precisely why we need a smaller team that includes Mare Do Well. Ponyville has become enamored with Mare Do Well, and the hope that comes with her. We cannot take that away, nor will I.”

“Then let us go! That’s what we’re here for, right?”

Derpy pats Trixie’s shoulder. “I wish we could, Trixie, but we can’t. If whoever took Rainbow gets wind that somepony other than Mare Do Well is trying to rescue Rainbow, they might just go into hiding even further, or do something worse.” Heh, glad to see she’s still going along with the plan.

Trixie bits her lip. “Trixie doesn’t like feeling useless in this situation.”

I smile. “Actually, I think us three and Mare Do Well would be perfect for this situation.”

“You do?” Derpy raises an eyebrow.

I nod my head. “I do indeed. Mare Do Well goes in first, and then we come barging in to provide support.

“Ya’ll expect me to fight a supervillain?”

I chuckle. “Not in the slightest, Applejack. Just need you to draw him out. We’ll handle the rest from there.”

Twilight bites her lip. “I still don’t think it’s the best idea. There’s just so much that could go wrong.”

I cross my arms. “Well, anyone have a better idea?”

Twilight’s eyes go wide and she snaps her fingers. “I got it! Blake, why don’t you dress up as Mare Do Well and take Applejack’s place!”

Luna rubs her chin. “It would indeed be a clever ruse. We would no longer be endangering another Element of Harmony, and satisfy Mare Do Well being present to face the ponynapper.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Uh, not sure if you noticed, but I don’t exactly have what one would call a feminine build.”

Pinkie giggles. “Silly! Twilight put a special enchantment on each of our costumes! There’s no way I’d be able to hide these bad boys!” She sticks out her chest and points to it.

“Pinkie!” Twilight sighs. “What Pinkie means is that each outfit has an enchantment on it to give each of us the appearance of having the same body type, without actually altering our bodies. It was an extra precaution in case somepony tried to figure out Mare Do Well’s identity.” I look at Applejack and look up and down the length of her body.

“Actually… Yeah, Twilight’s right. How come you never checked out her body before?!”

“And why would I? That’s… Kinda wrong to be looking at my friends like that.”

“Then explain the magazine with Fluttershy’s photo shoot you brought way back when, that you still haven’t looked at!”

“It was spur of the moment! A touch of weakness gripped me, and demanded I buy it!”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

“And why the hell are you looking at them like that?”

“Hey, gotta keep myself entertained somehow, since you aren’t giving me anything to work with.”

“Ya done gawking?”

I shoot a glare at a giggling Trixie, Luna, and Fluttershy of all people before shaking my head. “Sorry. Just trying to figure out how I missed that detail. Regardless,” I look back at Twilight, “Pretty sure the costume needs measured so that I can fit into it…” I notice Twilight smiling, “And Rarity already created one using my measurements that she somehow got in the off chance I decided to help you out.”

She nods her head. “Be right back!” With a pop, she teleports.

“Blake, I believe the matter of a plan is settled then.”

I sigh and look at Celestia. “I’ll take Applejack’s place and bring Rainbow back. Trust me, Celestia, nothing will happen to her on my watch.”

Celestia nods her head before turning to Trixie and Derpy. “Miss Lulamoon, Miss Hooves, I’d like for you to accompany Blake on this mission. My sister and I will see to the protection of the remaining Elements.”

They both bow. “As you wish, Princess.” Trixie says.

There’s another pop as Twilight reappears, a folded bodysuit, mask, cape, and hat in her outstretched hands. I grab everything from her and head deeper into the building to a closet nestled off to the side so I can change in relative peace. Well, guess I should put on the mask first. The mask is one of those that fully cover the head, with two pony ears poking out from the top. I reach into the mask and feel around for a hole for the ears. Huh, can’t find one. Guess Rarity really thought this one through. Nevertheless, I pull the mask down over my head.

Next up, the bodysuit. I hold it up in front of me. Yeah, looks like it’ll fit just fine, though I am kinda curious how Rarity managed to get my measurements. After some looking, I manage to find the zipper cleverly nestled behind a fold in the fabric. After suiting up, I make sure the mask is tucked underneath the suit and clasp the cape around my neck. I look down, curious to see if this enchantment works… Uh, okay, didn’t expect it to work that fast. I gingerly reach down and poke my chest. I can see the fabric move, even though my finger isn’t even touching my actual body yet. I twist and turn, marveling at how well this enchantment works. Wonder whose body type Twilight used as the template.

I shake my head. Delve into the science of the magic later, focus on keeping this ruse up. I levitate the final piece to complete the outfit, the hat, from the floor to my head. After a quick adjustment to make sure it’s snug, I leave the closet and head back to everybody else. It would seem in the time I was gone, Applejack has removed her costume. She’s the first one to notice me, letting out a slow whistle. “Mighty fine outfit there, Mare Do Well.” Everybody looks at me.

I just roll my eyes, not that they can see it through the mask. “I’m glad you can make jokes, Applejack.” I grab my throat. I felt my mouth move, the sentence forming in my head, yet I heard nothing.

I don’t even notice Fluttershy by my side. “It’s okay. We forgot to tell you there’s also an enchantment on the mask to mute our voices.”

“Fluttershy’s right. It’s just an extra precaution we took.” That would have been helpful to know in the first place! I throw my hands up and walk away.

“Trixie’s ready to show off her stupendous combat skills against such a devious individual!” I nod my head at Trixie and jerk towards the door.

Celestia steps forward and rest a hand on my shoulder. “Bring her back safely.” I nod my head and head for the door, Trixie and Derpy falling into step beside me.

“Teach that scoundrel what for!”

“Good luck!”

“Please bring Rainbow Dash back safely.”

“We’ll be cheering you on from here the entire time.”

I push open the double doors and break into a full on sprint towards the Everfree, nearly bowling over Rarity and Spike in the process. Without breaking stride, I sidestep them. “Woah, Mare Do Well!”

Sadly can’t acknowledge you, Spike. “Can’t talk right now, going to rescue Rainbow!” I’ll have to thank Trixie later for covering for my lack of being able to reply. As I run through town, ponies cheer at the sight of me. I barely acknowledge them, trying to keep up appearances of a determined hero on a mission. As I reach the edge of the Everfree, I stop to catch my breath and let Trixie and Derpy catch up.

As they near, I turn with a flourish of my cape and stride into the forest, Trixie and Derpy falling into step beside me. After a while, I yank the hat and mask off. “Finally. I’m glad to be able to talk again.”

“Uh, I thought you were supposed to stay disguised the whole time? You know, to prevent this villain from running away or hurting Rainbow?”

I glance over my left shoulder at Derpy with a knowing smirk. “You wanna tell her, or should I? Figure we can let her in on this now.”

“Tell me what?”

Derpy nods her head and laughs. “Blake faked the whole thing.”

“…You did what now?”

I glance over my other shoulder. “Faked the whole supervillain and kidnapping thing.”

“Okay… Why?”

A rustling from a bush causes us to draw our weapons (Or in my case, prep a fire spell) and take aim. After a moment, a squirrel scampers out and climbs up a tree. Probably scared him out of his wits. “Sorry about that little one!” I shake my hands to dispel any lingering flames. “Where were we? Ah yes, the reason. I’m teaching the Elements a lesson about just talking to your friends about an issue you’re having with them, rather than spend who knows how long coming up with a convoluted scheme.”

“Trixie fails to see how any of this is teaching a lesson.”

“Well, they wanted to play superhero, that’s fine. But where there’s a superhero, a supervillain is not far behind.”

“So you ponynapped Rainbow Dash because she was everywhere Mare Do Well was, which would lead an outside observer to think Rainbow might be a sidekick or associate of Mare Do Well. And since Mare Do Well is actually the Elements, which Trixie is still surprised about, ponynapping Rainbow would make them feel guilty because they inadvertently brought about this supervillain.”

I nod my head. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

“That’s actually kinda devious and underhanded. I approve!”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re not gonna question why I went through this trouble to teach a lesson, or why I even came up with this idea in the first place?”

“Yeah, Trixie. Even I kinda questioned the logic.”

“Pfft, an eye for an eye and all that. Trixie can understand that, and appreciate it to an extent. Trixie has had her fair share of revenge schemes anyway. But as much as I would love to tell you about them, I'd rather ask you where you got your costume.”

I snicker. “I have my sources, and they would like to keep their anonymity.”

“Where’d you get the idea for your costume design anyway? It looks similar to Mare Do Well’s in color scheme.”

I spin around so that I’m facing them while still walking backwards. “Actually, from a comic book character, Derpy. The fact that it’s similar in color is just an eerie coincidence.”

“And what’s your supervillain name?” Trixie asks.

I just stare at her. “Didn’t come up with one.”

She rolls her eyes. “Typical amateur. A true performer would have come up with a name that would strike an image into the audience’s eyes and captivate their hearts, instantly drawing them in, wishing to know more about such a wondrous sight!” She pauses with her hand pointing to the sky before dropping it and shrugging her shoulders. “It’s what has made Trixie a household name.”

“And putting Great and Powerful before your name was the best you could come up with?” I can’t hold back my snicker.

Trixie glares at Derpy. “Trixie was eight at the time and Trixie is happy with it!” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Anyway, Trixie is just stating a fact. Ponies are more likely to remember a flashy name. Besides, if left alone, the masses will give you a name they’d rather prefer. But don’t listen to me. This is just an entire life’s work speaking here.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You act like I intend to keep wearing the costume after this is all said and done. I have no intention of using this ever again.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I’m merely stating the obvious. Can’t blame me for that.”

I cross my arms and roll my eyes. “Is that some sort of payback for my comment about not figuring out the identity of Mare Do Well sooner, because—”

“Woah!” Derpy grabs me and pulls me towards her. “Wouldn’t want to have to scrape you off the ground.” I glance over my shoulder at the crevice before the Castle of the Two Sisters. Huh, that’s what I get for not paying attention. I nod my head in thanks to her.

“Let’s go! Trixie doesn’t have all day here!” She’s already crossing the bridge to the castle. I look at Derpy, who just shrugs her shoulders and starts across the bridge herself, with me right behind her. Trixie must have decided to wait for us instead of barging in through the front door, if her standing beside the door is any indication.

With a shove, I open the doors and stride in. “Rainbow Dash, we’re back!”

Trixie taps my shoulder. “You didn’t plan out where in this castle to meet?”

“Uh, no? Pretty sure wherever Rainbow is, she can hear us.” I hear hoofsteps coming from a hallway. “See? Told you she’d hear us.”

“Finally! You know how boring it is sitting around doing… Nothing…” Rainbow stops and eyes me. “Okay, pretty sure your body doesn’t look like that.”

I smirk. “Implying you’ve been checking me out?”

“What?!” She crosses her arms. “Why in Equestria would I do that? I’ve seen stallion’s with way better bodies than yours anyway.”

“I don’t know, he’s got a pretty nice body.” All eyes slowly turn to Trixie. “What? Trixie is merely stating her opinion!”

I raise an eyebrow. “Okay…” I look back at Rainbow. “Regardless, did you come up with a story to tell?”

“Yeah, I got an awesome story to tell.”

I jerk my head towards the door. “Tell us it along the way, and we’ll bring you up to speed on everything else.”

To be honest, I turn out most of Rainbow’s story. It’s a pretty common story. Hero shows up, villain makes demand, hero refuses, epic fight, villain is defeated and gets away, everybody goes home. And when she was finished, we brought Rainbow up to speed on everything else that’s happened.

“Did everypony figure out who Mare Do Well is, or am I just an idiot?!”

“Again, Trixie takes offense to that!”

“Relax you two. Unless you were specifically looking for the signs, you would have overlooked them.” Rainbow mumbles something under her breath, but I don’t quite catch it. “Regardless, it’s over and done with. We just need to get back to Ponyville and then Mare Do Well can fade into legend.”

“You might want to put your mask back on, Mysterious Mare Do Well, unless you don’t want your secret identity a secret anymore.”

I smirk and lightly punch Derpy on her arm. “Yeah, yeah, I’m getting there.” I put the mask back on and place the hat atop my head.

“I know you guys said that anypony wearing that thing can’t speak, but does it actually work?”

I roll my eyes. “How’d I be able to tell you if you can’t even hear me?” Not that anybody heard that, of course.

“Is Trixie’s word not good enough for you, Rainbow Dash?”

“Yeah, it’s good enough. But it’s like the Sonic Rainboom, ya know? You don’t really believe it until you’ve seen it at least once.”

“…I suppose you have a point.”

I snap my fingers and point forward. The canopy is starting to thin, allowing more sunlight to shine through. We must be nearing the edge of the Everfree. “Aw yeah, we’re almost out of here! Can’t wait to tell everypony my awesome story!” Rainbow zips through the air towards the treeline.

Dammit, can’t she be even the slightest bit patient? I break off into a sprint after her. As I breach the treeline, I see Rainbow already making significant progress towards Ponyville. I race after her as fast as I can.

As I enter town, the royal guards are already withdrawing from their posts, news already spreading about the safe return of Rainbow. Like before, I don’t acknowledge anybody on my way to town hall. By the time I get there, Pinkie has tackled Rainbow to the ground in what looks to be a rib crushing hug. “Pinkie… Air…”

I hear panting from behind me. I glance over my shoulder at Trixie. She’s bracing herself on her knees and panting heavily, sweat glistening across the exposed parts of her body. “Trixie… Is not cut out for this.”

“We really gotta work on your cardio, Trixie.” I’m kinda enjoying this ability to say whatever I want and have nobody hear me.

Derpy walks over and pats her on the back. “Might wanna swing by the gym sometime. I know a great trainer that’ll get you running circles around everypony else.”

Trixie nods her head. “Trixie… Will consider your offer.”

“Ahem, Miss Mare Do Well?” I look at the Mayor. “On behalf of Ponyville, we’d like to thank you for the swift rescue of Rainbow Dash.”

“And what about Trixie? I helped!” By now, a small crowd has gathered, the news of Rainbow’s return spreading.

“Of course, we can’t forget about the help she had either. Ponyville gladly thanks all involved in this endeavor.”

“As would my sister and I.” Luna and Celestia walk up beside her, and just for appearances, I bow before them. “I take it this villain has been dealt with properly?” And just what is proper justice in your eyes, Celestia? Turn to stone, banished to the moon, or worse? Regardless, I nod my head, earning a small smile from Celestia.

“Hey, I wanna have a word with you!” The crowd falls silent as Rainbow basically stomps away from the girls towards me.

“Rainbow Dash…”

“Not now, Twilight.” Rainbow gets right in front of me, staring into my eyes. She points to the cut on her face. “You see this? This is all because of you. If you hadn’t shown up in the first place, none of this ever would have happened.” She sighs. “But it’s also because of you that I’m safe. Things could have gotten a lot worse if you—”

“And Trixie and Derpy!”

“I was getting to that!” She rolls her eyes. “If you all hadn’t shown up when you did, things could have been a lot worse. So, I’ll say thanks to all of you. But!” Rainbow pokes my stomach. “Don’t think for a second that I won’t be keeping a close eye on you! This is still my town, and I’m the hero around here!” Behind her, I watch the girls just shake their heads.

I reach over and gingerly pat Rainbow’s shoulder while nodding my head. I believe my work here is done. With a tip of my hat, I teleport up to a nearby rooftop. I give one last bow to the crowd below before leaping off the roof out of sight. I cloak upon hitting the ground and sneak back into the town hall to the closet where I initially changed. After stripping off the costume, I overturn a box filled to the brim with papers and stash the costume in there before teleporting the box back to my house.

With a sigh, I leave the closet and head back outside. Rainbow is the first one to notice me. “Oh sure, now you show up! Where were you like an hour ago?!”

I roll my eyes. She’s really playing up her acting. “Nice to see you’re safe, Rainbow.”

She crosses her arms. “Yeah, well, if it wasn’t for Mare Do Well--”

“And Trixie! Why does everypony forget Trixie?!”

Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Fine. If it wasn't for Mare Do Well and them, I wouldn’t be here.”

I nod my head. “Yes, yes. The wondrous Mare Do Well saved you from a dastardly villain. I’m sure it makes for a riveting story.”

She smiles at that. “You bet it does! There I was, tied up and alone in a cage…” And there goes her story. Yeah, I kinda tune her out. I will admit though, she does enrapture the crowd, especially the kids.

“Blake, would you be so kind as to inform either Luna or I if you discover anything about this villain?”

I nod my head. “If I do, you’d be the first to know.” Around us, guards are packing up their equipment. Guess Celestia and Luna see no need to stick around.

“Oh, and if you do see Mare Do Well again,” She smiles, “Please give her our thanks once again.”

I smirk. “Doubtful I’ll see her again, but if I do, I’ll be sure to say something.”

As Celestia walks away with her entourage of guards, Luna leans down to my level. “Should we tell her?” She whispers.

I glance towards Celestia. “I think she already knows, but sure, tell her once you get back to Canterlot.” Luna smiles and follows her sister, her own entourage of guards close by.

I shake my head and turn my attention back to Rainbow. “So, I don’t remember it being this long the first time.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, Trixie, I doubted she’d stick to the script.” I shrug my shoulders. “But hey, as long as she’s making the town happy.”

Derpy walks over my way. “So, you gonna… You know?”

I nod my head. “In due time.”

She nods her head. “Anyway, I should get back to work. That mail won’t deliver itself!” I wave to Derpy as she flies off.

I turn towards Trixie. “And what about you? Don’t you have a school to run?”

She rolls her eyes and groans. “Don’t remind me. Classes got suspended because of all this, but I still got so much paperwork to fill out, let alone organize.”

I smile. “Sounds to me like you need an assistant, similar to how Twilight has Spike.”

“Yeah…” Her eyes widen, and I watch a smirk slowly form on her face. “Think he’d be willing—”

I shake my head. “Yeah, nothing you say or do is gonna pry him away from Twilight. You may get his help once in a blue moon, but he’ll be focusing on helping Twilight first and foremost, and likely Rarity in his spare time.”

She laughs. “You underestimate the Great and Powerful Trixie’s way with words!”

I smile. “Then by all means, go ahead and try. I’d be impressed if you actually manage to willingly drag him away from Twilight.” We stare at each other before we burst out laughing.

Our laughter dies down, but she still sighs. “I guess I should hire an assistant though.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Could also just hire a vice principal to help shoulder the workload.”

She rolls her eyes. “And leave the hands of my magnificent school in the hands of somepony else? Trixie does not trust anypony other than herself to run it to my standards.”

I reach over and grab her shoulder. “Then it’s up to you to find someone to trust and who you know will run the school like you, much like how I have you for our… Ahem, second jobs.” She eyes me a bit. Over her shoulder, I catch Applejack marching towards me. That scowl on her face probably doesn’t bode well for me… Trixie goes to open her mouth, but I clamp my hand over it and shake my head. “Later.” I jerk my head towards Applejack and pull my hand away.

“Trixie, could ah have a word with Blake? Alone?”

I glance at Trixie. What the hell’s this about now? “Fine. Trixie has more important things to handle at her school anyway.” She nods to me before teleporting away.

“Something the matter, Applejack?” She jerks her head towards town hall and starts heading towards it. I raise an eyebrow, but follow her anyway. Just what is it that’s got her in a mood now? She leads me inside to a room that I can basically summarize as a conference room. I raise my eyebrow at the rest of the girls waiting inside, minus Rainbow. “Okay, you guys are starting to freak me out here. What’s going on?”

“Well, um, we’ve been talking about everything that’s happened, and we’d just like to ask you a few questions if that’s okay with you?” I nod my head. “Um… How should I put this?”

“I think what we’d like to know first is your side of the story.”

I cross my arms and lean against the wall, much more preferable than sitting right now. “About what, Rarity? All you gotta do is listen to Rainbow to hear it.”

“You and ah both know that story she’s spouting out there is horseapples.”

“What we’re trying to say is that Rainbow seems to be embellishing more than a few details, and we want to hear what actually happened.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And what makes you say that?”

“No offense, dear, but we’re fairly certain you didn’t perform a… Pinkie, what was it again?”

“A triple bicycle kick into a quadruple backflip into a wall that you launched off of into an inverted cyclone kick with a—”

“Yes, all that.”

I chuckle. “Is that all? I was hoping she’d keep it a bit more realistic, but whatever.” I shake my head. “Honestly, let her tell the story however she wants. It’s better than every gruesome detail I’d describe. Or would you prefer I correct her and describe everything?”

They eye each other for a moment. “Fair enough. Now, what about this ponynapper? Who was it? Why did they want Mare Do Well and Rainbow?”

“Does it matter at this point, Twilight? They’re dead, and likely will be forgotten in a couple of years. Honestly, I don’t see why you don’t just retire Mare Do Well and walk away, prevent this from ever happening again.”

Applejack shakes her head. “Not a chance. Not until Rainbow learns her lesson.”

I shake my head. “Seriously? Would you all just stop and listen to yourselves? You’re willing to not only put yourselves in danger, but everyone around you too?”

There’s a knock on the door before it opens. “Hey, I was told you guys were in here and…” Rainbow pauses. “Am I interrupting something?”

I nod my head. “Yeah, but you actually got good timing. Was just about to let them in on our little secret before it gets too out of hand.”

She chuckles and rubs the back of her head, stepping fully into the room and shutting the door behind her. “Yeah, was wondering when you were gonna say something.”

“You know they wanna keep doing this whole Mare Do Well bit after what just happened?”

“Blake! That was supposed to be a secret!” Pinkie hisses out.

I roll my eyes. “Relax, will you? I already told her who Mare Do Well was a while back.”

“And I gotta say, AJ, you got some impressive arm and leg strength to have been able to stop that cart.”

Applejack smirks and tips her hat. “Well, years of apple bucking will…” Her eyes widen before her face hardens into a scowl, “Hey, don’t change the subject!”

“Um… Why’d you tell Rainbow Dash?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Why? Just look at the lengths you’re going to just to prove a point to Rainbow!”

“We wouldn’t have to do this if Rainbow would have just listened to us in the first place!”

“Really, Twilight? In the span of… I’d say a half hour, I talked with Rainbow here, brought her down from cloud nine, and got her to listen to someone other than herself. Probably didn’t take as long as this little scheme you hatched up.”

“Yeah! Why didn’t you all just, I dunno, talk with me?”

“We tried that, Rainbow, but still you refused to listen.”

“You obviously didn’t try hard enough! I listened to Blake after he pulled me aside and forced me to listen! All it took was for him to compare how you guys felt to how Rarity acted back at the Best Young Fliers contest for me to get it!” She sighs. “Listen, I’m truly sorry to everypony, really. I get it now how my bragging got annoying, and to be somewhat humble about my accomplishments, but I mean come on!”

The girls glance at each other. Applejack sighs. “Ah guess we should apologize for not talking to ya in the first place. Would’ve made things a heck’va lot easier.” The rest of the girls nod their heads in agreement

Pinkie giggles. “But it was fun to play superhero, even though we kinda already are.”

Rainbow smiles. “Thanks everypony. Next time, don’t put yourselves in danger just to prove a point to me.”

Fluttershy shudders in her seat. “That ponynapper was just frightening though.”

“And who knew such a devious scoundrel lurked near Ponyville?”

“How’d he know about Mare Do Well though?” I shrug my shoulders at Twilight’s question.

“Sure hope ya gave ‘em a good beating, Blake.”

“Pfft, how would Blake be able to beat himself up, Applejack?” There’s a collective pause as all eyes focus on Rainbow. She flinches. “Oh, uh… You didn’t tell them?”

Now all eyes shift to me. “Tell us what, Blake.” Yeesh, I can practically read the demand from Twilight.

“That I’m the ‘supervillain’,” I raise my hands up and make air quotes, “That willingly took Rainbow Dash.” Again, there’s a pause before with a sigh, Rarity stands up.

“Actually, Rarity, would you mind if I take this?”

“Not at all, Twilight.” Rarity sits back down as Twilight stands up instead. She walks over to me, raises her hand, and lightly brushes my cheek. Rainbow snickers, but can’t contain herself and bursts out laughing anyway.

“Uh, Twilight? Pretty sure that’s supposed to actually hurt?”

“Well, I don’t wanna hurt him, Pinkie!”

I shake my head. “Twilight, a slap is supposed to hurt, sting like hell, maybe even leave a red mark or handprint. You know, a little magic might help…Wait, why am I even giving you pointers on how to slap me?!”

Rarity walks over. “Watch and learn, dear.” With speed and pinpoint accuracy, she slaps me across the face with enough force that I’m positive the sound it made echoed throughout the building. “What in Equestria were you thinking with this little stunt?! Not only did you scare Celestia knows how many of us, but you actually hurt Rainbow in the process! Now Twilight, notice how my hand made full contact with the cheek?”

“Geez, Rarity. It’s just a little scratch. No need to get so worked up over it.”

I rub my cheek while the stinging subsides, which is plenty of time for Rarity to give Twilight more pointers. “I could say the same about all of you, but regardless, it was my way of teaching you all a lesson about this convoluted plan and the dangers of playing superhero.”

“Um, not to be rude, but didn’t you say we should talk out our problems a little bit ago?”

“Yes, and I would have been more than happy to try and talk you out of this before it even got this far. But nobody even consulted me in the first place, let alone told me this is what you were doing. The way I see it, you didn’t want my opinion then, you wouldn’t want my opinion now. It’s like you forgot I even existed, let alone cared what my thoughts and feelings on the matter were.”

Everyone is silent for a bit. “Okay, yeah, that wasn’t very considerate of us,” Pinkie says.

Applejack pulls her hat down over her eyes. “Sorry bout that.” Everybody else voices their apology to me. I’ll accept it, but they’ve got a lot to learn about including me in the loop.

“But then why go through with your whole plan of ponynapping Rainbow?”

I cross my arms and lean against the wall. “Twenty five percent was helping Rainbow get a slight bit of revenge, twenty five percent was keeping the hope Ponyville had in Mare Do Well alive and to cement her even more as a hero, and fifty percent was for personal reasons.”

“Personal reasons? What, ya wanted to know how being a ponynapper felt?” I shake my head. “Then what?”

“Like I said, personal reasons. I won’t divulge anymore than that.” I catch Twilight staring at me, but she ultimately remains quiet. “Regardless of how everything played out, what have we learned here today?”

“Be proud of your accomplishments, but not brag like I did.”

Fluttershy raises her hand. I roll my eyes and smirk, motioning for her to answer. “We should talk out our problems with each other?” I nod my head.

“Oh, ohhh! We should be considerate of everypony else and try to include them in everything we possibly can! Unless of course it’s a secret that you can’t tell anypony unless they know about the secret but then it wouldn’t be much of a secret anymore—”

“Pinkie, we get it.”

“Ahem. Blake, is there anything you’d like to share?” All eyes turn towards me.

I raise an eyebrow. “What?” At their continued silence, I throw my hands up. “Fine, whatever. Two wrongs don’t make a right or something. There, happy?!”

Rarity smiles. “Very much so, darling.”

“You know, Blake, I gotta ask. Where’d you actually get your supervillain outfit from? Obviously Rarity didn’t make it,” Rainbow says.

“Rainbow Dash, are you implying my dressmaking skills are insufficient to create such an ensemble?”

Applejack rolls her eyes. “She ain’t implying anything like that, Rarity. She’s just saying you’d have known what Blake’s plan was if’n he got you ta create it.”

Rarity blushes and looks away. “Ah, yes, of course.” She coughs into her hand. “In any case, I’m curious as to who designed your costume as well.”

I smirk and shake my head. “Trade secret, I’m afraid.”

“Well, could you at least let me see it? It might give me some new inspiration.”

I nod my head. “I don’t see why not.”

“So… Where’d you leave it? Obviously you wouldn’t have it on you.”

“Right you are, Twilight. I left it… Shit, in a box in a dumpster that anybody could find!”

“You mean a box like this?” Pinkie pulls out from under the table a box and sets it on the table. I walk over and open it. Sure enough, it contains my still crumpled outfit.

I raise an eyebrow. “Two questions. Why would you just pick up a random box in a dumpster of all places, and why would you not open it?”

“I was gonna open it later.” She leans in close to my face. “And do you know how much fun can be had with a box?! Gummy and I were gonna play space explorers with it, and then maybe act out a spaghetti western with it!” She gasps. “We could play space explorers in a spaghetti western!”

I place one finger on her temple and gently push her away. “Right…” I shake my head and pull out the outfit, laying it out on the table for everyone. “Here you are.”

Rarity leans in close and lifts up the right arm, running a hand down it. “Fascinating. You can barely see the stitch work, but it’s still remarkably well done.”

“At least someone appreciates my fine work.”

I let Rarity examine it for a bit longer before packing it back into the box. “Alright, time to dispose of this properly. I’ll see you girls around.” I wave goodbye as I leave the room. Once outside, I teleport home and stash the box under my bed. No reason I can’t keep it around, on the off chance I ever need it again. But honestly, what are the odds of that? But regardless, I honestly do think the girls learned a valuable lesson today. I just hope they learned the one I wanted them to learn.

Author's Note

And here we are, my longest chapter to date!

On a side note, who here's going to the final (:applecry:) BronyCon? I'll be one of the staffers basically helping to maintain the hectic lines that form. Be sure to say hi if you find me, and tell me how great ~~terrible~~ a job I'm doing. How will you find me? Well, that's on you all to figure out. :raritywink:

Over A Barrel or The Great Equestrian Train Robbery

“Permanent Vacation”

Over A Barrel or The Great Equestrian Train Robbery

A frantic knocking on my front door draws my attention. I leap off the couch before Scootaloo can react, yanking open the front door to find… Nobody. Pretty sure I heard somebody knocking.

“Sorry, might have been me. Really gotta hammer these nails into the walls.”

“Hey, Scootaloo? You heard that too, right?” I peek outside. Everybody that’s around is minding their own business, casually enjoying the fair weather today after rainstorms for two days now. There’s no panic, no screams, nothing that really screeches out emergency to me.

“If you’re talking about that knocking on the door, then yeah, I heard it. Who was it anyway?”

I shrug my shoulders. “No idea.” I start closing the front door, eager to get back to spending time with Scootaloo.

“Wait!” She pushes the door back open, and then bends down to pick up an envelope. “Whoever it was, they left this.” She starts breaking the seal on the envelope.

I catch on the front of the envelope a sticker shaped like a cupcake. There’s only two ponies I can think of that would leave an envelope with a cupcake sticker on my doorstep, and not stick around to make sure I got it. “Scootaloo, wait!”

“Huh?” But it’s too late. She breaks the seal, only for confetti to come flying out. A good deal of it sticks to her face and hair, but most of it drifts harmlessly to the ground outside. She stands there, still holding the envelope in her hands. I hear a snerk before she’s bursts out laughing, and I can’t help laughing with her.

After our laughter dies down, I gently take the envelope from her hands and pull out the letter inside. As she brushes the confetti off of her, I unfold the letter and start reading it out loud. “Congratulations! This is an official invite to the baby shower for Cup and Carrot Cake. I, Pinkie Pie, will be personally overseeing the entire celebration, but I mean, duh, that’s a given! It’s me, Pinkie Pie, we’re talking about here. Gifts are not required, but will be happily appreciated, especially if it’s something for the cute little foal! The shower starts tomorrow at ten sharp! No being fashionably late! And most importantly of all— Wait, she’s having the baby now?! But I haven’t even prepped anything yet! AAAAHHHHHH! From the party pony herself, Pinkie Pie.” She’s even stamped the letter with a circle with her face in the center, one arm reaching out to give a thumbs-up.

“The Cakes are having their foal now?”

I turn the letter over just to make sure there’s nothing on the other side before nodding my head. “Seems that way. Though why Pinkie kept writing that, and actually put it in the letter… Well, that’s beyond my understanding.”

“Yeah, don’t even get started on that. Don’t wanna have to smack some sense into you. Nice imitation of Pinkie yelling, by the way. I couldn’t even tell the difference.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I didn’t do any imitation of her.”

I hear Pinkie scream, causing Scootaloo and I to turn to the source. Pinkie’s running down the road with her arms flailing above her and carrying a satchel on her back. There’s a mare standing off to the side looking at Pinkie with wide eyes. Pinkie skids to a halt in front of the mare, reaches into the satchel, pulls out an envelope, hands it to the mare, and then resumes running back down the road screaming her head off.

The mare, for her part, is surprisingly calm after all that. She stares at Pinkie’s retreating form before shrugging it off. She breaks the seal on the envelope, only for a spray of confetti to fly out and stick to her. Scootaloo and I share a glance before we both start laughing again.

The baby shower turned celebration party for the healthy twins didn't turn out to be my cup of tea, but I showed up and delivered my gifts anyway, a bunch of toys ordered from the Canterlot branch of Barnyard Bargains (Still waiting for the Ponyville branch to open). It was a polite enough affair, but I politely excused myself at somepoint to head to the bar and celebrate with a glass to the proud new father. I honestly wasn’t surprised to see a fair number of ponies had the same idea as me. Pints were drunk, songs were sung, and a good time was had by all.

That… Was about two weeks ago. Since then, it’s been mostly hanging around, working on more music, and exercising. Pretty mundane stuff. So when I was approached by Applejack to help her relocate one of her trees to her relative’s orchard in Appleloosa, I happily accepted.

A private train was charted for this occasion, it being only a day’s ride to Appleloosa. It takes Applejack and Big Mac lifting with pure Earth pony strength, and I with my magic, working together to heft the relatively small tree into the private bunk in the very last train car. Not gonna question why a tree needs a private car…

Never one to turn down an outing, the Elements tag along as well. Once our luggage is loaded and goodbyes are said, the train rolls out from the station. Most of the ride is spent talking about Appleloosa itself, with Twilight making it super interesting with her history lessons, and about Applejack’s family. But all days must come to an end, so we turn in for the night… Well, some of us try to. Spike takes the passive route and decides to sleep in the private car. While that doesn’t convince anyone to quiet down, a quick toss of my pillow at the offenders’ heads surely ends it.

I’m awoken, quite rudely I’ll add, when my face impacts the floor. “Motherfucker!” I stand up, rubbing the stinging sensation from my face. I glance at the rest of the girls. Seems I wasn’t the only one who fell out of their bed, judging from Twilight and Rainbow’s positions on the floor. I help them both up. “You two alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Twilight groans, but she seems otherwise unhurt. “I’ll be fine.”

“What in Equestria is going on out there?!” Nobody has any time to respond before something slams into the car, causing those of us still standing to scramble to maintain our balance.

“Whatever it is, it certainly doesn’t sound friendly!” Rarity grips the edge of her bed in what I can only assume is a white knuckle death grip.

I yank open the curtains, letting more sunshine in. Outside, a herd of buffalo wearing feathered headdress, what I can only call furred armor, and paint markings on their faces are running alongside the train. Its nearly impossible to tell how many just because of how much dust is being kicked up. One of them swings away from the train before swinging back towards it. “Brace yourselves!” The buffalo jumps and slams into the train, rocking it once more. “Everybody still good?!” I ask after the rocking subsides, receiving nothing but positive responses.

“What’s going on out there?”

“A herd of buffalo! Looks like they’re trying to derail the train!” I see another buffalo start swinging away from the train. Not on my watch. With my left hand, I open up the window while drawing the Diamondback in my right. As the buffalo starts swinging back, I take aim at the ground beside it. The shot is enough to disrupt the charge as the buffalo stumbles, but maintains its footing. All eyes look to me. “What the hell is your problem?! There's people in this car!” The buffalo doesn't respond, instead opting to retreat back to it's herd.

“What? Why would they be doing that?”

I lean back in. “Gee, Twilight, I don't know. Maybe you can ask them after they derail the train!”

Something slams on the roof and starts moving across it, heading towards the rear of the train. Rainbow runs over to the other side of the car and opens the window, leaning out. Not sure what she's gonna see on top of the train from this angle... She leans back in. “Hey, we've got one of them on the roof! I got 'em!”

“Rainbow, wait!” But Rainbow is already out the window by the time the words leave my mouth.

“Just what in Equestria do these ruffians want?!”

“There's nothing worthwhile stealing here!” Applejack pauses for a moment. “Ya'll heard the hoofsteps heading towards the back of the train, right?”

“Yeppers! Though there's nothing really important in the next car, unless you count all those baking supplies I brought!”

I raise an eyebrow. I'd be more concerned with losing the only car with a restroom. “And the car after that has the tree...” Applejack and I eye each other before we rush towards the door. She reaches it first and slams it open, easily crossing the small gap between the cars. I'm right behind her though, Diamondback raised and ready to fire.

I can already tell we're too late as soon as I step into the next car, the small window in the door at the other end giving a clear view of the private car pulling away from us. Like before, Applejack reaches the door before me. “Dangnabbit! They're stealing mah tree!” I step beside her and watch as the car pulls away, a little buffalo on top watching us. With a grumble, I holster the Diamondback and gently pat Applejack’s shoulder.

Rainbow drops down from the roof to land beside us. “Dangit! She outmaneuvered me! Don't worry, I'll go after—”

“You'll do no such thing, Rainbow. Even if you manage to somehow subdue her, you got all those buffalo to deal with, and that's not even considering how you'd get the train car the rest of the way to Appleloosa.”

By now, everybody else has caught up to us. “Has anypony seen Spike?! I can't find him anywhere!”

“If he's not in the these two cars, that leaves just the locomotive at the front or...” I turn back around to watch the private car fading into the distance. “The private car that was just stolen by some buffalo.”

“Oh come on! You have to let me go after them now!”

“Rainbow, no. Heading headfirst into a situation like this without any plan is a good way to get someone hurt, or worse.”

“But... We gotta get Spike back!”

Applejack sighs and tips her hat down. “Ah don't like it either, Rainbow. But there's nothing we can do right now. We'll need to figure out a plan once we reach Appleloosa ta get mah tree and Spike back!”

As much as everybody hates to admit it, Applejack is right. We head back to our sleeping car and collectively spend a good portion of time just eating, getting properly dressed, and just... Being quiet. Pinkie impressed me the most, to be honest. Pretty sure she had a good enough reading of the room to understand that now is not the time for her usual joviality.

“Oh, I hope our darling little Spike is alright.”

“All alone, with nopony else around with those scary buffalo...” Fluttershy shivers.

I roll my eyes and turn my attention back to the book I'm reading, a history of Starswirl's major victories and triumphs across Equestria, and all he brought to the world of magic. From what I've read of him so far, I'd be honored if I could ever meet him. “I wouldn't be too concerned. Spike's smart and mature enough to take care of himself, and besides, I doubt they'd harm him.”

“What?! Those buffalo attacked the train! If they didn't want to harm anypony, they sure have a great way of showing it!”

I shake my head. “That's just it, Rainbow. They were attacking the train, trying to knock it off the track. But, I've been thinking...”

“You think they only attacked the train like that cause they thought nopony was on board.”

I smirk and close the book, turning my attention fully towards everyone else. “Exactly, Twilight. Once they realized that there was somebody on board, they went with what I can only assume is their second plan, detach the cars.”

“But, why just the private car? There's nothing worthwhile in there.”

“Other than mah tree!”

“Right, yes, that. The point is, why that one car?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Can't say. All I know is it has something to do with that tree. Spike being in the car was an unfortunate coincidence. I'm hoping someone in Appleloosa can tell us why one tree is so important to the buffalo.”

Pinkie gasps. “Wait just a minute! How'd they know which car to detach?!” We collectively look at each other, waiting for somebody to answer. Pinkie does bring up a valid point. “Eh, I have my moments.”

“I... Honestly got nothing.” I shake my head. “But this is all just speculation until we get to Appleloosa. Until then, I suggest we all rest up.” There's no objections, so I return to the chapter I left off, the tale of Starswirl's defeat of three creatures known as sirens.

I'm so engaged in reading that I don't notice the train pulling up to the station. “Alright ya'll, pack yer stuff quickly now.” Proper planning on all our parts means there's nothing really left to pack up, but what minor things that weren't are packed in short order.

By the time the train fully stops, we're already standing by the door. “Now, we should find mah cousin Braeburn. He'll know—” The train door is yanked open shortly before a hand reaches in that grabs Applejack and pulls her outside. The rest of us are quick to go after her.

Outside, a stallion wearing a stetson, leather vest over white undershirt, and faded blue jeans has pulled Applejack in a massive hug. He eventually lets her go. “Howdy, cousin!” He turns his attention to the rest of us. “And to everypony else, welcome to AAAAAAA-pple-LOO-sa!” I raise an eyebrow at how he drew that out. Makes ya wonder how many times he's had to say that.

Applejack can't help but smirk. “Everypony, this here's my cousin Braeburn. Braeburn, these are my friends Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Blake.”

“Pleasure to meet ya'll!”

Applejack's furrows her brow and turns to Braeburn. “Brae, we need to talk about Bloomburg.”

“Why, ya only just got here and already talking work. Don't you fret, we'll unload him in a bit. Let me show ya'll around town instead!” Before anybody can stop him, he's already walking away.

“Braeburn!” Applejack sighs as Braeburn seems to ignore her.

With a shrug of my shoulders, I walk after Braeburn. I mostly tune him out and the rest of girls trying to get his attention, instead marveling at how... Authentic the town feels. Everything feels like it was ripped out of stories from the Old West, minus any modern firearms. I can't stop myself from feeling a sense of giddiness.

“Braeburn!” Applejack's shout snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Yes?” And it apparently snaps Braeburn out of his tour guide mode as well. I notice that we've reached a hill overlooking a massive apple orchard. Not nearly as impressive as Sweet Apple Acres, mind you.

“Ah've been trying to tell you that we don't have Bloomburg!”

His ears flatten against his head. “Oh... Did ya leave him behind?”

I roll my eyes. “Alright, listen. We were attacked on the way here by some buffalo that stole the train car carrying Bloomburg and a very close friend of ours. What's going on around here that warranted a train robbery for a tree?”

Braeburn hangs his head. “I was afraid this might happen.”

“You knew something like this would happen?” Twilight asks, Braeburn nodding his head in response.

“I was hoping your train would finally be the one they left alone.”

I raise an eyebrow. “This isn't the first time the trains have been attacked?”

He nods his head. “Look, we've been having an issue with the buffalo recently.”

“What kind of issue, dear?”

He sighs. “I think it's best we talk to the sheriff. Follow me.” He leads us back into town towards a building with a five pointed star hanging off a post right out front. He pushes open the door and steps in. “Sheriff Silverstar?! Got some folks here you need to talk to!” The rest of us file in behind Braeburn.

“I'll be right out. Make yourselves comfortable,” A gruff sounding voice yells back from behind one of the two closed doors against the back wall.

I casually lean by the wall and take stock of the place. Pretty classic three cell layout nestled against the right wall, with a desk a couple of feet away from them. There's also a hook hanging off the wall that currently holds a ring of keys, presumably for the jail cells. A bench that extends about halfway down the left wall allows visitors such as ourselves a place to sit, a commodity that a Rarity is quick to take up on.

One of the doors opens up, and out steps a stallion with a handlebar moustache wearing exactly the same things as Braeburn, baring the large duster. “Howdy folks, name's Silverstar. I'm the mayor of these here parts, and maintain the law as sheriff.”

“Ohh, so you're like a Meriff!” Pinkie says. I notice Braeburn and Silverstar flinch slightly.

“Mam, I'll ask you to refrain from using that word around here. The last sheriff used it, and folks didn't take to kindly to him.”

“Right, fine. Nopony use that word. Can we please get back ta why we're here?”

“Of course, of course.” Silverstar walks over to his desk and sits down. “Now, what seems to be the issue?”

“Sheriff... Or should I say mayor?”

“I prefer sheriff, but don't rightly mind if you want to use mayor. I know not every town's got a sheriff and some ponies prefer to stick to what they know.”

Twilight nods her head. “Sheriff, we were transporting a new apple tree to your orchards here when our train was attacked by a herd of buffalo.”

“Celestia above, that's the third one this week.” I raise an eyebrow. That confirms my suspicions about multiple attacks, but just how long has this been going on? Surely the town would have tried something by now, or word would have reached the princesses.

“Sheriff, ah hate to say this, but what in the fuck is going on around here?! Ah lost an apple tree because of this.” Wow, Applejack solely concerned for her apple tree. Who would have thought. Fluttershy is quick to come over and grab Applejacks arm, whispering something to her.

“I wish I knew, to tell ya the truth.”

“Then tell us what you do know, and start from the beginning.”

He looks at me. He pauses for a bit, before nodding his head. “As you may or may not know, we've recently started expanding our orchard to accommodate our growing settlement. Braeburn here's been in charge of it from the beginning, seeing as he's the only one with any actual farming experience.”

Braeburn allows himself a smile. “Yep, I started my farm here after learning all I could from Ma and Pa, so it makes sense to put me in charge.”

“Shortly after we started expanding more, our supply trains started to regularly get attacked. All reports say it was a herd of buffalo.” He sighs. “We haven't the faintest idea why though.”

“Haven't you tried tracking them down?” Rarity asks.

“We've tried, but they tend to just vanish after each attack.”

“Well, we gotta find them now! They've got Spike!”

Silverstar narrows his eyes and looks at Pinkie. “Mam, are you saying they've resorted to kidnapping now?”

Twilight's quick to shake her head. “No, sheriff. Spike was just in the train car with the tree when the buffalo stole it. It's merely a coincidence that he was there.”

The sheriff shakes his head. “Intentional or not, we gotta find your friend. We'll begin the search at dawn tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?! We should be out there looking for them right now!”

“And I agree with you, mam, but heading out into the desert without being properly prepared is the fastest way to ensure ya stay there. We're gonna need time to prepare.”

Rainbow huffs and crosses her arms. “Fine.”

“Now, don't you worry. The sheriff's a honorable stallion, true to his word. He'll do everything he can to find your friend.”

“Come on, ya'll. Let's leave the sheriff alone.”

Once outside, Fluttershy asks the question that's likely on everyone's mind. “So, what do we do now?”

“Did anypony happen to grab our bags from the train station?” At nobody's answer, Twilight nods her head. “Thought so. I'll get them and drop them off at the inn for everypony.”

“Allow me to assist you, Twilight.”

“Thank you, Rarity. We all meet up here tomorrow morning to assist in the search?” Everyone responds in the affirmative.

As Twilight and Rarity head to the station, Applejack turns to Braeburn. “Mind showing me around your orchard?”

Braeburn smiles. “Why sure, cousin!” Him and Applejack walk off towards what I assume is the direction of the farm.

I sigh and stretch, feeling a few joints in my back crack. “I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm gonna wander on over to the saloon and relax for a bit.” I don't bother waiting for a response as I walk towards the building with the word saloon spelled out above it.

I can't help but smile at the large swinging doors as I push them open and step into the saloon proper. There's a slight creaking from the wood that draws a few eyes from a lone table my way, but I don't sense any hostility in them. I nod my head at them while looking around. Small bar along the left hand wall, ample seating, a table with a couple of stallions sitting around it playing a card game, stage and piano off to my right, and a second floor with more seating. I do my best to suppress the surge of giddiness I'm feeling. It's like I stepped into a time vortex!

I pull up a stool at the bar and eye the selection on display. The bartender wanders over, idly cleaning a glass. I spare a glance at her. Amber skin, white hair pulled up into a neat little bun, and a smile that could melt a man's heart. “Don't believe you and I have had the pleasure of meeting, stranger.” Ah, typical southern belle accent.

I smile and turn my attention to her. “Now what makes you think we haven't?”

“I know just about every face in town, and I ain't ever seen yours before. You ain't dressed for these parts either.” She sets the glass down and holds out her hand. “Briar Rose, owner of this fine establishment. And yes, this rose does have a few thorns.”

I grab her hand and shake it. “Blake Quinter. And I gotta ask, how'd someone like you come to own a saloon?”

“Honey, let's just say I'm a mean card shark. Now that we're acquainted, what can I get for you? Or are you here just to pass the time?”

“Both, actually. Jack on the rocks.”

She eyes me but nevertheless goes about getting my drink. “I'm never one to turn down a paying customer, but don't you think it's a little early to be going for the harder stuff?”

I nod my head. “Normally I'd agree, but I've had an exciting morning and a good drink or two would help take the edge off.”

She sets my drink on the counter. “Eight bits.” I reach into my pocket and fish out the bits for her. She turns around and deposits them in a register before turning back to me. “Well, sounds like there's a story there that I'm willing to hear.”

I take a sip of the drink. “Nah, I wouldn't want to distract you from your job.”

She laughs. “Honey, look around. This place is just a few cold bodies away from being called a graveyard.”

She does have a point, and I'm sure she's as bored as anybody can be. I shrug my shoulders. “Alright, you've talked me into it.” I smirk. “Not like you had to try hard anyway. Now let's see... Suppose I should start at yesterday. I was asked by a friend of mine to help her relocate one of her apple trees to the orchard here.”

Briar's eyes go wide. “This friend of yours wouldn't happen to be called Applejack?” At my nod, she smiles. “Why, Braeburn hasn't stopped talking about how she was sending one of her prized trees to our little section of Equestria.”

I smile. “I wouldn't be surprised. That boy seems enthusiastic about everything. But as I was saying, I was asked by Applejack to assist her in relocating the tree here.” I spend a good portion of time telling the rest of the story to Briar, leading all the way up to now. “And here we are now, drinking my tension away.” I finish, holding up the empty glass.

Briar's been quiet for far too long, and I notice that the smile that adorned her face is replaced with a frown. “Come with me, please.” She walks over to a door just to the left of the bar and motions for me to follow.

I raise an eyebrow, but walk around the bar after her anyways. On the other side of the door is a short hallway that has a door on the left or right. She leads me through the right door, which must be the storeroom if the crates of beer and alcohol are any indication. “Briar, is something wrong?”

She wrings her hands together and looks at everything but me.”I'm so sorry you and your friends got attacked by the buffalo, and now they have your friend.”

“Briar, what's there to be sorry about?”

“Because...” She sighs and finally looks me in the eye. “Because they never would have attacked the train if I didn't tell them what was on it.”

I eye the mare before me before smiling and walking over to a nearby crate and sitting down on it. I pat another crate beside it.

“You're not mad?”

I smile. “Why would I be? You had no way of knowing who, if anybody, was on the train. Now, sit down and tell me everything you know. You're the only one in this town who seems to know what's going on, and I wanna hear everything.”

She sits down on the crate and sighs. “I guess it's the least I could do. What do you wanna know?”

For starters, something to sate my curiosity. “How'd you meet the buffalo?”

She smiles. “About eight or so some odd years ago, I used to explore Equestria and study rare and exotic flora. My travels eventually led me to the deserts around here.” She sighs and shakes her head. “But I was a foolish mare, thinking I could handle the desert with what supplies I had. Everypony that was in Appleloosa at the time told me I was insane, or that I was asking for it heading out into the desert. But what did they know? I'd survived in harsher environments.”

“I'm still not sure how long I was out there, wandering around after losing my way and nearly dying of thirst. But for however long it was, it was long enough for the buffalo to find me and tend to me. As I spent time recovering with them, I started talking with them and partaking in their daily rituals. They were quite fond of telling the stories on their ancestors and the traditions they had, and were quite surprised at my interest in studying the flora in the area. They taught me everything they knew, and even showed me how to make some of their herbal remedies. In exchange, I told them stories of Equestria's past and shared some of my knowledge with them. Once I had fully recovered, I left the tribe on good terms and came back to Appleloosa.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And nobody questioned how you survived?”

She chuckles. “Oh, there were plenty of questions. But they never got the full story, if you get my meaning.”

I nod my head. So that explains why when this started happening, she wasn't suspect number one. Or, the townsfolk aren't questioning how the buffalo know which trains to hit. “So, you survived the desert thanks to the buffalo and somehow ended up running the saloon. But that doesn't explain why the buffalo are attacking the trains.”

She sighs. “Folks around here don't realize it, but the orchard is expanding into the buffalo's traditional stampeding grounds. Tradition is so deeply rooted into their culture that Appleloosa expanding into their land is viewed as an act of aggression. They figure that if the orchard is expanding onto their land, the only way to stop it is to prevent supplies from ever reaching the orchard.”

“So attacking the trains to disrupt the supply chain. It's a really effective strategy if done correctly. But how'd you get drafted as their informant?”

She smiles. “After all this time, they remember me. Late one night, I was visited by a young one from the tribe. She came with a request, to assist them by telling them which trains to hit and when.”

“Hold up. How'd they even know you lived in town?”

She chuckles. “Honey, they've been watching this town for a long time now, longer than I've been living here. Pretty sure they watched me move in, but never had a reason to talk. I reckon they even saw you and your friends roll into town.”

I nod my head. “I wouldn't doubt it, but please, continue.”

“Like I was saying, they wanted me to help them. I'm apparently a good friend in the tribe still.” She sighs. “I agreed on the condition that nopony got hurt, which as you know, is something they agreed to.”

“So why turn against the town? Why help the buffalo?”

“I'm not turning against the town. But I can't turn away the buffalo. This is their land too, and they're decent folk. And it's not like I can just ask the sheriff to let them have their land back. I want to see this town prosper as much as anypony else here, but not at the cost of the buffalo.”

I gently pat her back. “Hey, it's a noble thing you're trying to do. But did you ever try talking to the sheriff and getting him to see it from your point of view?”

She laughs for a bit, before actually paying attention to me. “You're serious, ain't you? Look around you, ponies in this area are highly territorial. If I go to the sheriff and tell him the buffalo should have their land, he'll spout nonsense about how Appleloosa worked for these lands and we ain't giving it up without a fight.” She sighs. “Look, in the end, I'm really sorry about what happened, but I ask that you tell nopony else about this. I love it here, and if anypony found out I've been helping the buffalo, they'd run me out of town for sure.”

“Then why even tell me all this if you're worried about somebody blabbing about it?”

“I figured you had a right to know, considering all the trouble I put you and your friends through.”

“Hey don't beat yourself up over this. It isn't your fault, and nobody got injured, so let's let bygones be bygones and move on.”

She raises an eyebrow. “That means you ain't telling anypony?” I nod my head, causing her to pull me into a hug. “Thanks so much for keeping my secret, sugar.”

I return the hug. “Anytime, Briar.” Once we pull apart, I motion for her to stay sitting. “But, I would like to meet this buffalo you've been talking to. Just to talk with her, nothing more.”

Briar bites her lower lip before sighing. “She is supposed to show up tonight, and I suppose I could introduce ya, but only if she's okay with it.”

“All I ask is a chance.” I stand up and hold my hand out to her. “Now, how's about we head back out front and grab a drink?”

She smiles and grabs my hand, standing up as well. “Whatever you want, it's on the house. And I won't take no for an answer.”

I follow her back to the bar, and am not surprised that nothing has changed. I sit back down in my previous seat while Briar moves back behind the bar. “What'll be this time?” She asks.

“Jack on the rocks again.” While she's making the drink, I glance once more at the stage and piano. Well, I did bring my guitar to pass the time... “Hey, Briar.” I jerk my head towards the stage. “Anyone allowed to play?”

“Sure are. If you're interested, I can let everypony in town know we got a performer. Won't let ya go on till later in the evening though”

I smile. “If you wouldn't mind, and that won't bother me.” Looks like I found something to occupy my evening.

After heading back to the inn and relaxing for a while, I went back to the saloon and quietly sat in the corner as folks filtered in. It's no surprise that the girls showed up as well, along with what I assume is a good portion of the town. I close my eyes and idly strum a few chords.

“Well, looks like you found something interesting to do.”

I open one eye and smile at Twilight. “That I did. I usually find bars or similar locales great places to pass the time.” Or find information... “Regardless, something I can help you with, Twilight?”

“Oh, nothing, just came over to talk.”

I chuckle. “Well, talk away then. You manage to find out anything else about the buffalo?”

She shakes her head. “Nothing more than what we already know. Have you had any luck?”

I shake my head. “Not much, I'm afraid.”

She sighs. “Oh well. Anyway, put on a good show tonight. The girls and I will be cheering you on.”

I smirk. “And partaking in some fine beverages?”

I catch the blush on her face as she turns away. “Maybe one or two...” I can't help the snicker that escapes my lips.

I glance at the clock hanging from the wall, seeing that it's almost eight. There's a loud, shrill whistle that instantly quiets everyone. “Alright folks!” I look towards Briar on stage. That whistle must have come from her. “We got a special entertainer for you tonight! Hailing from the distant town of Ponyville, we've got one Blake Quinter for ya! Give him a wholesome Appleloosa welcome now!”

Everyone cheers as I smile and wave while making my way towards the stage. I climb onstage and sit down in the provided chair. Once everyone quiets down, I speak. “Before we begin, I'd like to thank you all for providing nothing but genuine hospitality to my friends and I, and for Briar for allowing me to perform for ya'll. Let's give her a round of applause, alright?” Briar waves it off as we clap for her.

Once that dies down, I continue. “Normally, I'd have my band with me, but since they aren't here, I gotta make due with myself, my trusty guitar, and whatever latent music magic Equestria has. Let's start it off with something simple and slow that I've been cooking up for a few days now.”

The place goes quiet while I adjust the guitar in my grip. I take a deep breath and let it out before strumming.

The crowd claps and cheers once I finish. Once they die down, I stand up and tune the guitar. “Now, I think ya'll came here to party, and what's a good party without some fitting music?” The crowd cheers, prompting me to smile and start strumming. “Now, clap along if ya like.”

Once again, the crowd cheers as those that actually took to the floor to dance head back to their seats. I take a bow. “I believe that was my time, but I might be convinced to play another song for ya'll if you want...” There's cheers and whistles from the crowd, some even shouting at me to keep going. “Well, I can't say no now, can I? Alright, one more for everyone here. Let’s kick this party up a notch.”

I step offstage to the applause of the crowd and make my way to the bar, stopping to shake hands along the way. Without a word, Briar's sliding another Jack on the rocks my way. I nod my thanks and start drinking it.

“Hoo wee! Ya'll start coming up with more country songs, we might just have ta book ya for the Apple Family Reunion!

I turn around in my seat and smile at Applejack. “Don't get too excited now. That was just me experimenting with something new.”

“Experimenting or not, it'd make the reunion a right hoedown with that kind of music!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Talk with Vinyl then. It'd be up to her to schedule us and work out the finer details.”

“Alrighty then. Why don't ya come sit and chat with us? We got ya a spot saved and everything.”

“Sure, I'll be—”

“Blake, would ya mind helping me out?”

I glance at Briar. She jerks her head towards the door back to the storeroom. “Sure thing, Briar.” I look back at Applejack. “Tell the girls I'll be over as soon as I can. Here,” I hand Applejack my drink, “Keep an eye on this, will ya?”

I follow Briar into the back. Right before she gets to the storeroom door, she places a hand on my chest. “Wait right here.” I'm not sure how long she's in there before the door finally opens and Briar motions for me to come in. Stepping inside, I see the little buffalo that was on top of the private car standing close to an open window. “Blake, this is Little Strongheart. Little Strongheart, this is Blake.”

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Likewise. Briar said you wanted to talk, so talk fast.”

“Alright. Spike, the dragon. Is he alright?”

She nods her head. “Not a scale has been harmed on his head. On behalf of my tribe, we do apologize for taking you friend. He'll be returned safely to here tomorrow.”

“Second, the attacks on the trains. Briar told me why.”

Strongheart raises an eyebrow. “Then you should understand why they get attacked.”

I nod my head. “I do. But I can't just watch a town slowly die because of some miscommunication.”

Strongheart bites her lip before sighing. “All clans or tribes should have a chance to flourish and grow, so that the stories they create can be passed down from generation to generation. But, our land was intruded upon, and we cannot just sit by and watch it disappear.”

At least she can concede on seeing Appleloosa flourish. “Then make an effort to talk to the Appleloosan's. You bring your chief or leader, and I'll convince the sheriff and the owner of the farm to talk with you. We'll meet on the northern edge of town at dawn and have a nice discussion.” At her silence, I continue. “Tradition is what makes your tribe yours, and I can get that. I'm the last of my tribe, species, kind, whatever term you want to use. I gotta keep my traditions alive, even if that means slightly altering them. But as long as I can keep even a shred of a single tradition, it's enough to pass on to others so that they can keep it alive for me.”

She sighs. “I shall ask my father to meet with you, but I make no promises if he will agree to do so.”

“Please, do your best to convince him. All I'm asking for is a chance to prevent harm from coming to anyone, or to these lands.”

She nods her head and climbs out the window. I lean out and watch her run off into the distance.

“I sure hope you know what you're doing.”

“As do I, Briar. As do I.”

The next morning, I had woken up at least a half hour before dawn to prep for the meeting. Briar was gracious enough to allow me to use one of her square tables and a few chairs. So, I grabbed one of the tables and six chairs in my magic and headed towards the northern edge of town. Once I was about halfway towards a hill, I set up everything and headed back into town.

Those who were part of the sheriffs posse were already forming in front of his office, the girls and Braeburn included. However... “Where's Rainbow and Pinkie?”

“You mean they weren't with you?” Twilight asks.

“Um, they were both still in the saloon when I saw them last night.”

“Did anybody see them after that?” Everyone answers in the negative, causing me to groan. “I'll bet anything that Rainbow was too impatient to wait till today and decided to find the buffalo herself, and Pinkie tagged along because it probably seemed fun to her.”

“Don't that mare listen to anypony other than herself? The sheriff told us it was dangerous to go out there unprepared, and what does she go and do?!”

I sigh. “Whatever, we'll find them.” Deciding to switch topics, I turn to Braeburn. “Braeburn, you got that pie I asked for?” I had asked Braeburn last night to have an apple pie made with fresh picked apples from the orchard ready for me this morning.

“Right here, though I ain't rightly sure what good a pie is gonna do us out there.”

“Oh, it'll have its use. Trust me on this one.”

The door to the sheriffs office opens, and out comes Silverstar himself. “Alright folks, we got a lot of ground to cover and only so much time—”

“Call off the search, sheriff. I know exactly where the buffalo are heading next.”

The sheriff raises an eyebrow. “And how in Celestia's name do you know that?”

I chuckle. “I have my ways, sheriff.”

He nods his head and crosses his arms. “That so? And where exactly are the buffalo going?”

“Oh, that's easy. I invited them here.”

“You did what?!”

I rub my ear. “Geez, Twilight, no need to yell. You all heard me anyway.”

“Son, are you insane?”

I shake my head. “Nope, just practical.”

“I should throw you into a cell!”

“Now sheriff, I'm sure Blake had a good reason for doing what he did. Ain't that right?”

I nod my head at Braeburn. At least he's being level headed. “Correct. You, Silverstar, and I are meeting with the head of the buffalo tribe and his daughter at the edge of town to talk out the issues you've been having lately.”

Braeburn nods his head. “Sheriff, I think we should at least hear them out. They already agreed to talk with us, so they're at least willing to try.”

Silverstar closes his eyes and strokes his mustache. After some time, he sighs. “Alright, fine. But they so much as suggest attacking Appleloosa next, we're done talking.”

“Now hold on a minute! Ya'll ain't going out there without us! These buffalo not only got our friends, but they're also threatening the life the Appleloosans carved out!”

“And that is precisely why I'm not letting anybody else as part of these talks. You only know the one side, and are only willing to hear that side.”

“But—”

“No means no, Applejack. Do not attempt to sway me.” I eye everybody else. “The same goes for the rest of you. Anyone tries to interject themselves as part of this meeting will have to personally go through me.” At their silence, I motion for Braeburn and Silverstar to follow.

“Should I bring the pie?”

I sigh. “Yes, bring the pie with, Braeburn.” I lead them both out to the table and chairs, and instruct them to sit down with their backs facing Appleloosa.

It's not long after that I hear a faint rumble that grows in sound, clearly coming across as the sound of thundering hooves in a stampede. The dust cloud they kick up is thick enough to obscure the sky behind them as they come to a stop on the hill. From my count, there's about twenty or so of them. Rainbow comes flying over the hill right after, Spike clinging tightly to her, while Pinkie merrily bounces down the hill. Rainbow skids to a halt by the table, kicking up her own cloud of dust.

I shake my head. “You alright, Spike?”

“Yeah, I'm fine. Those buffalo are pretty nice once you get to know them.”

“Hey, what about Pinkie and I?”

“Lighten up, Rainbow Dash. We're perfectly fine thanks to our new Buffalo friends!” Pinkie gasps. “I gotta start planning the party!” She runs into town, a dust cloud in her wake.

I jerk my head towards town. “Get back in town. We'll talk about your actions later.”

She shakes her head. “No way! I heard you were gonna talk things out with the buffalo, and everypony needs to hear their side in this! The buffalo are right!”

I glare at her. “Rainbow, get into town right now. We'll handle this. You don't need to speak for the buffalo.”

“But—”

I heard enough. I teleport her and Spike into town.

Two of the buffalo come down the hill, one wearing a large feathered headdress and the other easily recognizable as Little Strongheart.

I spare the briefest of glances at Braeburn and catch a faint blush on his cheeks. As the buffalo reach the table, I bow before them. “Please, have a seat.” Strongheart takes a chair across from Braeburn while the other buffalo elects to keep standing. I take my seat at the table, directly at the center.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Rainbow flying towards us. With a sigh, I throw up a protective dome that prevents anyone from getting in as long as the caster can maintain it. There's a light thump as Rainbow crashes into it and slumps to the ground. I glare at her as she sulks back to Appleloosa. “Now then, shall we get to business?”

A little over an hour later...

I almost didn't think I'd be able to pull off this negotiation, but lo and behold, I managed it. I thought for sure there was still gonna be a war on our hands since Silverstar and Thunderhooves seemed to argue endlessly, neither of them willing to concede anything. But thankfully, without being over spoken by Applejack and Rainbow, Braeburn and Strongheart were able to speak their piece, reigning in Silverstar and Thunderhooves and getting them to listen and eventually agree to a suitable arrangement. In exchange for a path through the orchard and some pies made with the fruits from it, the buffalo would allow the orchard to remain and would share some of their cultivating techniques.

I slide the pie Braeburn brought with towards Thunderhooves. “And here is the first of many pies to come. I'd like to thank you, all of you, for agreeing to these talks and coming to a suitable arrangement.”

“It is us who should be thanking you. On behalf of my people, we thank you for giving us the opportunity to be heard and for bringing an end to our struggle.”

Silverstar chuckles. “I reckon everypony will feel the same way. And if'n they don't, well, they're welcome to leave anytime they want.”

I smile. “Then I believe we should head into Appleloosa, ponies and buffalo, as one to announce the news to all.” I dispel the dome and pick up the table and chairs with magic. Thunderhooves stamps the ground twice, the buffalo that came with coming up to stand behind him, as we begin walking back towards Appleloosa.

I hang back with Braeburn and Strongheart. “Ah can't thank you enough for what you did, Blake.”

“Think nothing of it, Braeburn. Sometimes it helps to keep an open heart and mind about the wants and needs of others.”

Stronghearts shakes her head. “And it shows. There's not many who would've listened to us after what we were doing, let alone understand why.”

I look at Strongheart. “And I empathize with you. Remember what I said yesterday.” She pats me on the back.

As we get into the town, ponies peek their heads out from wherever they're hiding. “Alright folks, listen up! We've come to an agreement with the buffalo!” There's murmurs as ponies slowly come out from hiding and onto the street proper. The girls and Spike are quick to join Braeburn, Strongheart, and I.

“You're sheriff is right, ponies. We come not as enemies, but as friends. We have agreed to let the orchard remain and to share some of our knowledge for farming in this land.”

There some cheering from the ponies, and I catch Applejack's grin, but Silverstar is quick to calm them down. “Now hold on there, we ain't finished. We're making a path for them through the orchard and sharing some of the food we harvest too. I expect everypony to treat 'em with some genuine Appleloosa hospitality.” A small cheer goes up from everyone.

Braeburn, Silverstar, Thunderhooves, and Strongheart, along with a couple of ponies and buffalo, head towards the direction of the orchard while the remaining ponies and buffalo start mingling. “How in Equestria did you manage to broker a peace between Appleloosa and the buffalo?”

I smirk and cross my arms. “Simple, Twilight. I listened to the voices of those who wanted to be heard, distanced myself from my personal beliefs, and heard both sides of the argument before making any judgment calls.” I shoot a glare at Applejack and Rainbow.

“Hey, at least everything worked out in the end right? The buffalo got some land to stampede through.”

“An Appleloosa get ta keep it's orchard.”

“And nopony got hurt in the end.”

“Aw, where's everypony going? I had this whole song and dance routine set up!” I have to do a double take at the saloon girl outfit Pinkie is wearing.

“And taking a picture of that!” I catch Pinkie's wink at me. Eh...

“Blake!” Oh thank God for Briar's timely arrival. “Here, let me help ya set these back up in the saloon.”

I shake my head and start walking towards the saloon. “Nah, just tell me where ya want everything and I'll take care of it.” I look over my shoulder. “I'll catch all of you in a bit.”

Briar and I step into the saloon. She walks over to an empty space on the floor. “Set 'em right down here.”

I set down everything where she indicated. “I gotta thank you for allowing the use of your tables and chairs.”

She chuckles. “Think nothing of it. If anything, it should be I thanking you.”

I smirk and roll my eyes. “Don't mention it.”

“Now, I don't feel right just letting you walk out of here after everything you did, so...” She walks behind the bar and pulls out a bottle and two shot glasses, “You and I are gonna drink till we drop. And just so you know, I ain't no frail little rose when it comes to drinking. And I closed the saloon for the day.”

Damn, she's serious, but I'm game. I walk over and take the bottle from her hands. It's a brand I've never seen before. “Rosebud Whiskey. Watch out for the thorns. Never heard of it before.”

She chuckles. “Not surprising since not everypony can afford a bottle of this. I've been saving this for a special occasion, and I think this qualifies as one. You in, or am I gonna have to drink this all by myself?”

I eye the bottle, and then Briar. I can see the metaphorical light bulb go off in my head. “Actually, that was me. Turned on the wrong light. Man, that one is really dull. Should get it replaced soon.”

I smirk. “I'm in, but on one condition.”

“Name it, sugar.”

I glance around to make sure nobody else is here, but the place is as dead as when we arrived. I move closer to her and drop my voice. “It's safe to say you're one of the best informed people in this town, correct?”

“Well, I wouldn't say that...”

“Nonsense. You somehow got the info about what's on each train, you knew about Applejack before she even arrived, and you successfully supplied info to the buffalo in secret. You have the making of a information broker, and I'm looking to expand my network.”

She raises an eyebrow. “What exactly are you asking?”

“I'm asking for a mutual partnership here. I ask for information, you get it to me anyway you can. In return, I can help... Supplement your income, shall we say.

She eyes me for a moment. “Suppose I agree. This ain't nothing that's gonna get us in hot water?”

I shake my head. “Far from it. You'd be doing a service to Equestria.”

“And what information would you be looking for?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Could be anything, really. Won't know till I need it.”

“...If all your asking for is information from time to time, and I get a little extra bits thrown my way, well, I'd be plum crazy to pass up a deal like that.”

I smile. “Then it's settled. I think we should celebrate with a drink.”

She smiles and pours a generous amount into both glasses. She raises hers up. “To friends and partnership.”

I grab my glass and raise it up. “Hear hear.” We clink the glasses and down our shots. Her glass hits the counter before I've even finished mine. I smack my lips as I set the glass on the counter. “Hmm... it's surprisingly weak for a whiskey, and with a slightly sweet tang to it. Goes down real smooth. I won't deny that it's good, but I like my whiskey with a bit more of a kick, ya know?”

Briar laughs. “Well, as they say, every rose has it's thorn, sugarcube.”

“Yeah, I'm well acquainted with the—” I erupt into a coughing fit as a burning sensation wracks my throat. It feels like someone dragging a claw down the inside of it, intending to rip and tear as much as they can with no regards to precision. I steady myself with a hand on the counter while doubling over. I can hear Briar laughing over my coughs.

“Got enough of a kick for ya?”

The pain subsides enough for me to stand up straight and wipe the tears from my eyes. “How the hell are you not in pain?!”

“Years of practice. And you still ain't answered my question.” I grab the bottle from her, pour another shot, and down that. “I'll take that as a yes.”

I pant, the liquid providing temporary relief from the burn. “You damn well better. Less talk, more drink.” I double over once more and erupt into another coughing fit.

“Everypony around here has their own unique way of saying it,” I hear a glass hit the counter, “And this here's mine. Welcome to Appleloosa.”

I can't help myself from laughing in between the coughs. I need to visit here more often and talk to the other residents, if Briar is any indication of the rest of them.

Lesson Zero or Zero Hour

Author's Note

Told ya to expect a chapter this week. :twilightsmile:

Lesson Zero or Zero Hour

“Permanent Vacation”

Lesson Zero or Zero Hour

I can say with honesty that I know what the hell happened during the celebratory drinking Briar and I were doing. I can vaguely remember slamming my fifth or sixth shot down, but everything after that is just one big black void. All I do know is that someone had managed to get me onto a train, cause that's where I woke up. And it's gotta be the one going to Ponyville, because Spike and the girls are on the train with me, though they are still fast asleep. I groan at the splitting headache I have, roll back over, and refuse to move till I'm back in Ponyville or the headache goes away. I must have fell back asleep cause next thing I know, we're pulling into Ponyville and disembarking.

As much as I love spending time with everyone, I quickly head home to nurse my hangover some more. I open the door just the slightest, which is enough for Sonja to stick her head out and forcibly use her body to open it the rest of the way. I pat her head as she bounds around me. I head inside and shut the door behind me.

“Scootaloo, I'm back!” I trudge into the living room to find Scootaloo playing... Uncharted. Huh, interesting choice for her. I reach over the couch and tousle her mane.

She's quick to pause the game and reach up to swat my hand away. “Quit it!”

I chuckle. “Alright, alright. I'll let you alone. Did I happen to miss anything major?”

She turns around while shaking her head. “Nah, nothing important, unless you—” She blinks. “Woah, you look like shit.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Nice to see you too.”

“That's not what I meant. You look sick. Like, really sick. You feeling alright, Dad?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Nothing a little sleep won't fix.”

She raises an eyebrow, but eventually shakes her head and turns her attention back to the game. “Whatever you say. Oh, Pinkie was just by. Said she's leaving you something important in the kitchen.”

Of course Pinkie would somehow beat me home... Whatever. I chuckle and head into the kitchen. Sitting on the table is a thermos. I take the lid off and peer at the gold liquid inside. I take a sip and am instantly reminded of her hangover cure. I smile and drink some more. Gotta remember to thank Pinkie sometime for this. With a content sigh, I sit down at the table and just relax, idly rubbing Sonja under the table with my foot.

As some of the haze clears from my head, I float out my laptop and start writing down future plans for the band. I'm still not sure how long I was there, but it was long enough for Scootaloo to complain about wanting dinner. And since she wanted to complain, I roped her into making it with me. Not that she was gonna complain about that though.

I wave goodbye to Vinyl as I leave her store and studio. It's been a long and grueling week and a half, but we're finally ready to release our next album. We had actually finished recording a couple of days ago, but Vinyl and I still had to work out the finer details. But now that we're ready, it's one less thing on my plate. I let out a content sigh as I stroll through town, no real destination in mind.

I check the time on my phone. Still got a ways to go before a picnic with the girls, generously provided and set up by none other than Rarity, but Applejack's insistence for providing the food eventually caused Rarity to concede on that point. I elected to bring my own food though, lest they deal with the hassle of providing something for me. But... That just means I got plenty of time to kill before then.

“You and I could always talk.”

“And what insanely profound thing do you want to talk about?”

“I'm glad you asked! I've been working on improving your magical abilities, basically nudging your body to be a bit more adaptable to magic.”

“You can do that? I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you being able to so easily... Rewrite me like that.”

“Relax. I've just been optimizing what's already here. I know you're still sensitive about the whole 'I've got magic now because I've been infused with magical blood but humans don't have magic so am I still human', so I'm not gonna dabble in that area without your express permission.”

“So now you respect my wishes? That's never stopped you before, especially with my insistence to stop trying to hook me up with somebody. And don't deny it either, I've heard the thoughts in my head about some of the mares in town.”

“But you can't deny yourself forever! Think of what you're missing out on!”

I allow myself a smirk. “Pretty sure you're doing the thinking for both of us in that department.”

“Alright, you got me there. At least I can live out our wildest fantasies.” There's a few precious moments of silence. “Are you just gonna wander around until the picnic happens? Did you seriously not plan to do anything else?”

“Well, I wouldn't say I planned on wandering around...”

I happen to glance around, spotting Derpy at a stall in the marketplace. Something she said a while back resurfaces in my mind. “Hey, Derpy!” She turns towards me, and I to wave while walking in her direction.

She waves back before turning around to finish paying for what she purchased. She nods to the stall owner and then flies over to me. “Hey, what's up?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, the usual. Nothing much going on. But, I wanted to ask you something. I remember you telling Trixie about a gym in town. Mind pointing me in it's direction?”

She nods her head. “I can walk you there instead. I'm basically done with my shopping for the day.” She reaches into her bags and hands me an apple. “You want one?”

“Sure, and thanks.” I grab it and take a bite. I still don't know how the Apple's can get their apples to be so... Delicious. Can't just be Earth pony magic. “Lead the way.”

As we walk, and in between bites, I eventually work up the nerve to ask Derpy something. “Mind if I ask you something else?”

“Like what?”

“Well, we know each other, and we're sorta related on paper, but I feel like we don't know know each other. You get what I'm saying?”

She nods her head. “Yeah, I get that. But there's really not much to say about me.”

I chuckle and bump her shoulder. “That's what they all say. There's gotta be something you can tell me.”

She's silent for a bit. “If you want, why don't you come over for lunch or dinner one day. We can get to know each other better then.”

I smirk. “Derpy, are you propositioning me?”

She's quick to turn and punch me in the shoulder. Not hard enough to leave a bruise, but strong enough to stagger me. “Not like that!” She's laughing though, so it's all in good fun, and I'm quick to laugh too.

“Well excuse me for reading the situation wrong!” Once our laughter dies down, I answer her question. “Yeah, that sounds good. You got a date in mind?”

“I'll just leave a letter for you once I got something in mind. Sound good?” I nod my head. “Good. Hey, the gym's just up here on the left. Big sign, can't miss it.”

“Hey, thanks again for guiding me here. I'll see ya around.”

She nods her head and flies off. I watch her for a bit before continuing towards the gym. Let's see... On the left with a big sign. I guess the sign with a pony lifting a dumbbell must be the place. There's the jingling of a bell as I open the door and step inside to the sound of weights clanging together, words of encouragement from a trainer, and some pop music playing over it all. I spot a trashcan and toss the apple into it “Over here, Blake.” I glance to my left at a tan stallion sitting behind a counter. He smiles and waves as I walk towards him. “Something I can help you with?”

“Yeah, couple of questions. First, do I know you?”

He shakes his head. “No, but you're practically famous, so everypony should know you.”

I blink. Right, should really have thought of that. With a shrug, I ask my next question. “What facilities you got here?”

“We've got most of our upper body equipment, things like weights, barbells, punching bags, and the like here on the first floor. Got some more up on the second, but that's mostly lower body equipment like treadmills. We also have a dance studio for rent and a yoga class on Tuesdays and Thursday. And private showers, of course. Nopony wants to head home reeking of sweat.”

“Any pool?” He shakes his head. “Alright, any additional services?”

He nods his head. “We have lockers for you to store your personal items and trainers to assist with your road to personal wellness, though we cannot guarantee the availability of the trainers as it is a first come, first serve basis. We also sell some smaller equipment here for you to take home, some snacks and beverages, and clothing. Personally, I'd recommend buying some of the clothing before doing anything else.”

I glance down at myself and smirk. “Yeah, not exactly dressed for working out.”

He chuckles. “Happens to everyone their first time, don't worry about it. Oh, we also have a catalog of some of the larger equipment that you can purchase from our supplier. They'll deliver and setup for you as well. Care to take a look?”

I shake my head. “Hard pass for now. Membership fee required to use everything here?”

“Yes. Twenty bits a month for full access to all our equipment. Dance studio is still a rent basis and up to renters discretion to charge. It's an extra ten bits for the yoga classes, but you can pay that on a per session basis.”

I reach into my pocket and fish out twenty bits. “Let's get a membership for me going right now.”

“Excellent, let me just get your card and the necessary forms.” As he opens drawers and flips through folders, pulling out papers, I browse through their catalog of clothes. “Alright, just sign these forms and we'll get you squared away.”

I carefully read through the forms and see nothing that throws up a red flag. Pretty standard membership forms if I do say so myself. I sign my name where indicated on each form and hand them back to the stallion. He glances through each form. With a nod, he hands me a card with the logo of the gym watermarked in the corner with a spot for my name and the current date. “Just sign there and you're all set. Just bring payment each month from today to keep your membership. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

I slide over three more bits after signing my name on the card and stashing it in my pocket. “A bottle of water as well. Gotta start putting that membership to use.”

“Alright, just grab one from the cooler. Anything else? I noticed you looking at our clothing selection.”

I shake my head. “Would love to, but there's a small problem. Not designed for the tailless in mind.”

“Ah, right. Sorry, but I'm afraid that's all we carry.”

I shrug my shoulders. “No worries. Hope you have a great day.”

“And you as well, Blake.”

I slide open the door to the cooler and grab a bottle of water. I head up to the second floor, nodding at the other members as I pass them by. I walk up to an unoccupied treadmill and take my place on it, adjust everything to my liking and starting my run. I idly glance at a TV mounted on the wall from time to time, but it doesn't hold my attention for long. I instead opt to plug in some earbuds to my phone and listen to music. As an afterthought, I set an alarm. I'm thinking... A good two hours of working out will suffice for today.

As I run, I occasionally adjust the speed and slope of the treadmill to mix things ups. After some time, someone steps in front of me and waves a hand. I smile and gradually stop the treadmill, stepping off it while taking out the earbuds. “Figured I'd see you here eventually.”

“It's the only gym around. Plus, everypony needs to see how awesome I am at working out.” Rainbow flexes her arm and smirks.

I smirk. “Right, because seeing you sweating and short of breath is what everyone wants to see.”

“Hey, that means you're doing it right! Can't improve if you don't push yourself to your limits!”

I roll my eyes. “Alright, I'll agree with that. Anyway, something you need? I know the picnic ain't till later today.”

“Yeah, I know too. Came down here to get a workout in and keep this awesome body in shape.” She hefts up a duffle bag. “But seeing as you're here as well... Need a trainer?”

I raise an eyebrow. “You're a trainer here?”

“Yeah, I signed up after that whole Mare Do Well incident. If ponies wanna be fit like me, they should learn from me, ya know?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Makes sense. But what makes you think I need a trainer?”

She eyes me. “Because I've seen your workout routine. You don't mix it up. It's always a jog or using a scarecrow as a punching bag. You gotta focus on you entire body.”

Rainbow is right. I don't know the first thing about fitness, and it's not like I can just Google the answers anymore... At least Rainbow seems knowledgeable about this, and it's something she's genuinely enthused about. “Alright, you've made your point. Guess I do need a personal trainer.”

“Awesome! I'm gonna get changed. Meet me downstairs in like five.”

Rainbow is true to her word and back in five, now wearing a sports bra and shorts, both being blue with white trim. “Alright, newbie. We're gonna put you through the wringer! We're gonna make your body almost as awesome as mine!”

I frown. “Dash...”

“Alright, alright. I'll lay off the cockiness. Geeze.”

I smirk. “Better. Well, trainer, what's first?”

“Let's start off with some stretches. Bet you didn't do that, did ya?”

I pause before letting out a long sigh. “Dammit.”

What follows is a rigorous beating of my body that I honestly was not prepared for, let alone the intensity radiating from Rainbow. Whenever I'd start to slack, she'd push me just enough to get over whatever hurdle I was facing. Like always with her, everything was a contest. There was always a comment about how she'd be doing it better, how much she could lift, what her bests were. I'll wipe that smugness off her face someday... But definitely not today.

Rainbow and I called it quits a little after I had wanted to finish working out for the day. Rainbow herself decided to stick around longer and get her own workout in while I headed right for the shower. And because of my impromptu decision, I had to walk home in my sweaty clothes.

“That's your own fault.”

“Oh, be quiet. Be grateful I gave you a chance to see Rainbow in tight fitting clothes.”

“That is definitely a keeper alright.”

I shake my head. Of all the personalities to get, I had to get stuck with this one. There's a flash of light accompanied by a pop in front of me, causing me to stumble back and nearly fall. “Hiii, Blake!” I can't resist the shudder that goes through my body at the sight of Twilight. Wide eyes, grin that could rival the Cheshire Cat, and disheveled mane that has errant strands of hair poking out.

“...I'm gonna hide now. That shit is creepy up close.”

“Uh, hi, Twilight. You doing okay?”

She laughs. “I've never been better, actually! Say, you wouldn't happen to have any problems, would you? Problems that require a lengthy letter to a certain pony detailing the problem and solution so that everypony involved can better themselves?” She eyes my clothes. “Oh, you're all sweaty. I got a spell that will fix that right up!” Before I can protest, there's a flash from her horn. “There, all better!”

I pat myself. Huh, not an ounce of sweat and all my clothes are dry. “Uh... Thanks, I guess?”

“So, would you say this is a friendly thing to do, something that friends would do for one another?” She leans closer with each utterance of friend.

I take a step back. “The act of going out of your way to do something is friendly—”

“YES!” A quill and scroll appear in a flash.

I rip both of them out of her magical grasp. “BUT, casting a spell on somebody without their express permission is not a very friendly thing to do, unless it is a life or death emergency.” Her ears fold back, and I can tell she doesn't like that I denied her friendship report. Hmm... I can actually have a bit of fun with this. “Actually, there is something you can help me with, Twilight.”

She gets right into my face once again. “Anything for a friend!”

I step back once more. “Alright. Well, as you know, I'm kinda stuck in Equestria... Alone. And I've been feeling stressed out lately... Being all alone.”

“Oh, I got some books detailing some great stress relief techniques! I'll head home and—”

“I've read some of those books, Twilight. Reducing Stress: A Primer? Dealing With The Unwanted, volumes one through four? Stress: The Early Pony Killer? I've read them all, and not working. The stress I'm talking about, Twi, won't be solved by a book.”

Her eyes widen. “Is this some sort of human only stress?”

I shake my head. “I'm positive everyone experiences this kind of stress a couple of times in their life. It's something that only a... Mare's touch can solve, in my case.”

“Is this something the girls and I can help with?!”

I manage to suppress a laugh. She's making this far too easy! “You all could, but it'd take far to long to gather everyone. If you want to help me, it needs to be you and I, right now.”

“Dear Celestia, this is serious! What do I need to do?!”

“Follow me.” I lead her down the road a little ways and into an alley. “Twilight, are you absolutely sure you want to help me? I'd have no trouble going to—”

“No!” She coughs. “I mean, yes! As a good friend of yours, I will resolve to do everything in my power to help you with your problem!”

I allow a smirk to cross my face. “Fuck me. Right here, right now.”

“Okay!” Twilight reaches down to the hem of her shirt and starts to lift it. “I've read plenty of—”

Massive backfire! I leap forward and pin her arms before she can raise them any further. “Twilight! I'm just messing with you!”

She pauses, letting her shirt fall out of her hands. “You are?” I nod my head. “Then why'd you say about having a problem and all that talk about stress? What about all that help you needed?”

“Because I'm messing with you! I didn't think you'd actually go through with it!” I let go of her now that some clarity dances across her eyes.

She groans. “Ugh, if you don't have a friendship problem, then don't waste my time!”

“But why is it so important that you have a friendship problem? What's the rush?”

She grips the sides of her head and pulls some hair. “I need a friendship problem to solve! It's been over a week since I sent Celestia a friendship report, and she expects one every week! I could fail at friendship! Or worse, fail at being her student! And then she'll banish me from Equestria!”

Does everything have to involve banishment with her? “Twilight, calm down and listen to yourself. You're overreacting over nothing. Did Celestia specifically say she wants one every week?”

“No... But I've been sending one every week, so it's become what she expects! If I can't meet her expectations, how will I be able to handle the expectations of learning the magic of friendship?!”

I roll my eyes. “Twilight, I really don't think—”

“I have to find a friendship problem now!” She teleports before I can say anymore.

Honestly, I thought I could nip this in the bud before it became a problem. With a sigh, I leave the alley and start heading home.

I wasn't too late for the picnic, but late enough that only Pinkie, Twilight, and I were the only one's missing. Doubtful Twilight will show, however.

“Think fast!” I leap for a frisbee tossed by Rainbow, barely managing to catch it.

“Rainbow Dash, couldn't you have waited until he at least got situated?”

I shake my head. “Nah, it's all good, Rarity.” I take my backpack and set it on an unoccupied corner of a red and white checkerboard blanket. There's an assortment of sandwiches and drinks scattered on it. “Besides, it keeps my reflexes sharp.”

“That's the spirit!”

I smirk and toss the frisbee far towards Rainbow's left. As expected, she makes a diving leap towards where it's supposed to be, only for it to stop in midair moments before she would have made the catch. She hits the ground and looks at the Frisbee. “Hey, what gives?!” Her eyes dart to me.

I raise a hand up and wiggle my fingers, the frisbee bobbing along to my commands. I float it towards her and lightly tap it on the back of her head. “Think fast.” There's snickers and chuckles from everyone except Rainbow.

She jumps up and snatches it out of the air. “Not cool! You can't use magic to stop it!”

“I dunno, Rainbow. You were kinda asking for it.”

“Not helping, Applejack.” Rainbow points at me. “And you! You're gonna be working extra hard next time I see you at the gym.”

“Oh, I didn't know you had joined the gym, Blake.”

I nod my head. “Actually joined today, Shy.”

“And I took him on as a student. Just couldn't say no to being as fit as me.”

I catch Applejack rolling her eyes. “Pretty sure that wasn't the only reason he had.”

I smirk. “Well, seeing her in a tight fitting outfit was certainly a plus. Even took a few pictures when you weren't looking.” I snerk when I look at Rainbow, but fail to hold back the laughter. I do manage to pick out the quiet giggling of Fluttershy over Applejack's laughter.

“You ass!”

“Is what Blake was looking at! Hey yo, up top!” I high five Pinkie. I swear she plans the most opportune times to appear.

“Pinkie!”

“What?”

I hold my hands up. “Alright, alright, calm down. I'm just messing with you, Rainbow. No need to get defensive. Honestly, you girls just make it too easy at times. All I'm saying is you have a body I can respect, and your choice of clothing accentuates it. And no, that was not one of the reasons I had.”

“See, darling. A little bit of fashion never hurt anypony.”

Rainbow mumbles something under her breath, but takes a deep breath and slumps forward a little bit. “You're so gonna regret your next workout session.”

I smirk. “Totally worth it though.”

She huffs and crosses her arms. “Whatever. Are you gonna stand there, or are you gonna join us?” I spend a decent portion of time tossing the frisbee around with Rainbow and Applejack, working up a fairly decent sweat. We occasionally stop for a break to snack and drink before starting once again.

I leap for an errant throw from Applejack, the frisbee harmlessly sailing over my fingertips.

“That's another for me!”

I chuckle and walk towards the frisbee. Yeah, it turned into a contest between Rainbow and Applejack. Whatever, let em have their fun. “Yeah, yeah.” I place my foot under the frisbee and flip it into the air, catching it on the way up. I turn around and spare a glance at the blanket. “Anybody know where Twilight is? Thought she would be here by now.”

Rarity sits up from her sun chair and slips her sunglasses off. “She showed up here a while ago, darling.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And she didn't stay?”

“Nope. She spouted some nonsense about the Princess being upset with her over a late report before teleporting away. Bunch of hogwash if ya ask me. It's the Princess. Ah'm sure she wouldn't hold it against Twi for being a little late.”

I frown and toss the frisbee towards Rainbow. “Yeah, but this is Twilight. She takes everything seriously, if you couldn't tell.”

“I'm sure Twilight's got nothing to worry about.” Rainbow catches the frisbee and spins it on her finger. “She's probably on her way and laughing about it.”

I shake my head and go to open my mouth, but there's a rumbling that sounds akin to hooves thundering on the ground. As it gets closer and closer, I can make see Big Mac being chased by the herd and shouts of 'It's mine!' and 'I need it!'. I yelp and close my eyes, refusing to look anymore and fall under that damnable spell.

There's a popping sound. “Don't look at it!”

“Look at what?”

“My Smarty Pants doll!”

“Why, a doll is nothing to be ashamed of darling. Every filly—”

“It's not that! I cast the 'Want It, Need It' spell on it! Everypony who looks at it instantly—”

“I want it!”

“I NEED IT!”

“That! Nearly all of Ponyville is under it's spell now!”

“Consarn it, Twi! What in Equestria made you do that?!”

“I needed a friendship problem to solve! Nopony took me seriously when I asked for help, so I made my own! And look where that got me! The entire town fighting over a doll!” I hear a sigh. “Celestia is sending me back to magic kindergarten for sure.”

“Uh, are we just gonna ignore the massive brawl going on?”

“Give me that damn doll!”

I wince slightly. Yeah, that was Scootaloo's voice. Even with my eyes closed, I just know everybody's looking at me. “Peculiar choice of language from Scootaloo aside, just cast the counter spell, Twilight. Don't know why that wasn't your first response.”

“I don't know it!”

I pause. “You cast a spell, but didn't learn the counter spell for it... What the hell were you thinking?! Do you realize how dangerous that is?!”

“I wasn't in the right frame of mind, okay! This wouldn't be a problem if anypony had just decided to actually help me find a friendship problem!”

“Seriously?! Twilight, I will admit that I fucked with you purely for my amusement. Yes, it's wrong, but you should know me by now. But, I stopped messing around and was willing to help you if you had just stepped back and listened to what I had to say!”

“I, however, have heard enough.” I hate to admit it, but my body goes rigid at Celestia's voice.

“P-P-Princess Celestia...”

I feel something wash over me, the sheer intensity of it sending a shiver down my spine. The sounds of the brawl die down enough that I risk opening my eyes, seeing ponies shaking their heads and walking back into town. I slowly turn around to face Celestia. Thankfully, her gaze is not on me, but it still turns my blood cold.

Twilight steps right in front of Celestia and bows. “Princess, I'm so—”

Celestia raises a hand. “We shall discuss this further at the library.” She turns her back to us and starts walking back into town.

Twilight hangs her head and looks over her shoulder at us. “Goodbye, everypony.” She returns her gaze to the ground and follows Celestia.

I turn my gaze from watching Twilight to the girls. I'm not sure how long the silence lasts, but Rarity is the first to break it. “Does anypony else feel we didn't take Twilight seriously?”

“Maybe she was right 'bout Celestia wanting a report every week.”

“And now,” Pinkie sniffles, “She's in trouble because of us.”

I shrug my shoulders. “I tried to help her, but not when she's in 'Twilight' mode. Panic does nobody any good. But... I guess I could have tried harder.”

The silence that follows is tense, this time broken by Rainbow. “Well, this is our faults as much as it is Twilight's. We should've been there for her! If she's getting punished, we all should get punished! ...Right, everypony?” Her wide eyes tell me her short lived bravado died.

Pinkie steps forward. “If Twilight's going down, we go down with her!”

Everyone else shares a collective nod and runs off towards the library. I take a moment to grab my backpack and eye the picnic (There's a note sitting on the blanket. 'I'll handle this. Pinkie Pie') before running after the girls.

The sun has just started to set as they burst through the front door. “Princess, wait!”

“Please don't be hard on Twilight. We're as much to blame.”

“Twilight, we're sorry we didn't take ya seriously.”

“Yeah, we're super duper sorry about that.”

I step off to the side and shrug my shoulders. “I'll admit, I could have done more to help. But yes, I will apologize for not being serious enough.”

“Yeah! So whatever punishment Twilight's getting, we want it to!” Rainbow gulps. “Uh, it's not too harsh, is it?”

Celestia smiles. “Very well, in lieu of a punishment, I would like each of you to write a friendship report to me, if and only when, you learn something about friendship.” The girls don't hesitate to nod their heads.

“I may have to work on my penmanship, but that seems fair. Do you accept letters in crayon?”

Celestia chuckles. “Whatever you prefer, Miss Pie.”

Pinkie salutes. “You got it! One extra special report when there's something to report!”

I chuckle. “With how often things happen around here, I'll say you won't have to wait long.” I cross my arms. “I'm just happy I don't need to write any reports and everything worked out in the end. My penmanship is average at best, let alone with a quill.”

“Oh, we're you expecting to be excluded from sending friendship reports? I meant everypony, Blake.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You can't be serious? You do know what my argument is going to be, right?”

She nods her head, her smile never leaving. “Indeed I do. Believe it or not, everypony can still learn something about friendship.”

I chew the inside of my lips. Best to not pick a battle right now. I sigh. “Very well, Celestia.”

“Now, I do believe I need to get back to Canterlot, though I'm expecting a friendship report very soon.” She moves for the door, the girls stepping out of her way. She stops at the threshold. “And Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“You can thank your faithful assistant for informing me of your fears.” With that, she steps outside, the door being enveloped in her magic aura and shutting behind her.

I turn to see Twilight giving Spike a hug. “Oh Spike, what would I do without you?”

He chuckles. “Probably make Ponyville chase after a doll?” I snicker at that.

Twilight releases Spike and turns to the rest of us. “And thank you, all of you, for coming to face punishment with me.”

“We couldn't just leave you hanging like that, Twilight.”

“It wasn't exactly fair of us ta dismiss ya so easily.”

“Now, I must ask,” Rarity turns to me, “What made you think you were exempt from the punishment?”

Now all eyes are on me. “Celestia knows the answer to that, and I will not reveal the reasons. I will, however, say that it's because I tried to get Twilight to calm down and listen, and was not against helping her with her problem in the first place.”

“Then why did you... Uh...” Twilight leans down and covers Spike ears (Fins?). “Say you wanted my help with certain... Naughty issues.”

“Oh my.” I spare a glance at the rest of the girls. Fluttershy sports a blush that would rival Big Mac's coat.

I shrug my shoulders. “Like I said right after I stopped you, cause I wanted to mess with you. What I didn't say was because I'd hoped the shock value would have snapped you back to reality. What I didn't expect was for you to actually try and go through with it.”

“Oh my. Twilight, dear, did you really—”

“NOPE!”

I shake my head. “Nope. No way.”

“And why in Celestia's name was that your 'shock value', Blake? Haven't ya heard of slapping somepony, or splashing some water on them?”

I frown. “You should know me by now. When I do something, it's go big or go home. And furthermore, what do you think would have happened if somebody saw me slap Twilight, or anybody else for that matter?”

Applejack frowns. “Well... I... Uh... Okay, fine, maybe that isn't the best choice. But ya still could have done anything else!”

“Yeah, sure, cause a bucket of water in the middle of the street is so readily available too. What else ya got? Come on, somebody tell me what you would have done.”

“I dunno, maybe just help Twilight without some crazy plan to teach a lesson that ultimately ends with everypony being better?”

“Everypony, I think we just need to—”

I cross my arms. “No, no, Twilight. I asked, Pinkie responded. If that was so simple, then why didn't any of you do anything?” I close my eyes. Deep breaths... “You know what, fine. My plan wasn't the best, but at least I tried to do something. Ya happy?” Applejack opens her mouth, but I raise a hand. “I don't really care, I've had enough for today.”

“Dear, I really think we should deal with this—”

“No. You may all want to talk and hug out your problems, but me? Not my style. I need to just walk away and deal with it my own way. But you want to deal with the issue now? Fine. We all learned a lesson, Twilight isn't getting punished, and we all gotta write friendship reports now. The end, life moves on.”

Without a word, I teleport home to the kitchen. I swiftly head over to my liquor cabinet and pull out a bottle of Johnnie Walker, floating over a tumbler and pouring myself a generous amount. I also float over a couple of ice cubes and drop them in. I sit down at the table and sigh, just focusing on drinking and calming down. What right do they have to judge me? Sure, it wasn't my best plan, but I tried. And that's what counts, right? And Celestia ordering me to write friendship reports too.

I hear Sonja whimper and place her head in my lap. I grin and gently rub her head. “It's okay, girl. Just need to relax, nothing to worry about.” I sigh and take another swig of scotch.

I hear the front door open and shut. “Dad, I'm home. You in here?”

“Kitchen, Scoots.”

Scootaloo rounds the corner to the kitchen. “You would not believe the day I had.”

I chuckle. “You and me both. Wanna tell me about it?”

Scootaloo and I spend some time talking about her day, with me helpfully filling in the blanks in her story. The 'Want It, Need It' spell must have some mind altering component to it since Scootaloo couldn't tell me anything after Twilight showing up, other than wanting and seeing the doll, and everypony else fighting over it until the spell was broken. Eventually, Scootaloo heads off to her room while I make dinner. The rest of the night we spend doing our own things till we settle in for the night.

Back To School

“Permanent Vacation”

Back to School

I jerk upright and wildly look around. I take deep breaths and try to slow my racing heart upon confirming that I am indeed still in my room. I shiver soon after I calm down and can feel the beads of sweat still clinging to my body. I glance at the clock, seeing that it's only a little after three in the morning. I sigh and rub my face, kicking the covers off and crawling out of bed. No way am I going back to sleep now. I shudder as images flash in my head.

“Hey, you're finally awake.”

“Yeah... Yeah. Does it look like I wanna be though?”

“After what I just saw, no. But better that you're up instead of dealing with—”

“You saw that?”

“Still watching it, as a matter of fact.”

“Then why didn't you stop it?” I sigh. “You know what, never mind.”

“You know, you really should talk with somebody about—”

“No!” I take a deep breath. “I mean, no. I'll deal with it myself. It's my problem, my issue.”

I can hear a sigh. “Fine. But I do think you're overreacting. Follow your own advice for once and talk about it.”

I call upon my magic to create a floating ball of dim light. With it, I creep through the house towards the kitchen. I dispel the floating ball once I turn on the kitchen lights. I go through the routine of starting a pot of coffee. If it's gonna be one of those days, may as well start it on a light roasted, heavy caffeine kick. Just as I go to sit down at the table, there's a light knocking on the front door. Really, someone at this hour?

I head towards the door and slowly open it, peeking out at whoever it is. I smile and open the door even wider. “Weird hour to visit at, but considering it's you, I shouldn't be surprised.”

“Blake, are thou alright?”

I pause, but ultimately nod my head. “Course I am. Do you know something I don't?” I shake my head. “Why don't you come inside, Luna? Just keep your voice down. I don't wanna wake Scootaloo.” She steps inside and I shut the door behind her. She follows me into the kitchen afterwards. I see there's enough in the coffee pot at this point for a cup or two. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

I grab two cups and pour what I can into both, giving Luna's a bit more than mine. I motion for her to sit down while I do the same. “Now then,” I blow into the coffee a few times before taking a sip, “What's going on, Luna?”

She places both hands on her cup and eyes me. “I came to check on you.” She takes a generous gulp of her coffee. I mentally raise an eyebrow. Guess scalding temps mean nothing to alicorns? “As you know, I monitor the realm of dreams, ensuring all of our subjects can sleep peacefully throughout the night.”

I keep the frown from showing on my face. “And since my dreamscape wasn't found, you decided to check on me? Luna, I'm honored, but people sometimes have trouble sleeping. It happens.”

She sighs. “Blake, it's not that we couldn't find your dream. It's that I couldn't access it.”

I raise an eyebrow. “How's that possible?”

“I do not know, and I doubt my sister does either. But if I were to question it further, I'd say something was actively keeping me out, thwarting every attempt I made to breach it.”

I nod my head and drink some more of my coffee. “But how would you even know if anything was amiss?”

Her horn glows as two small clouds form and hover over the table. “These are normally what dreamscapes are visualized as to ponies such as I. These two, of both your pet and Scootaloo, are having normal dreams as we speak.”

“They look like normal clouds, something that you'd normally see any day of the week.”

She nods her head as another cloud forms in between the two. My eyebrows raise as it forms. This one is pitch black as something flashes within, putrid greens and browns running along it's exterior as the occasional tornado forms on it's surface before being sucked into the cloud. “And here is a nightmare.”

“That looks sickly and diseased. I'm honestly nauseous looking at it.”

“Blake.” The cloud floats towards me. “This is yours. Tis one of the strongest I've seen since my return.”

I eye the cloud. “How can you tell? There's nothing identifying on it.”

“Tis something that only an experienced dreamwalker can tell. Believe me when we say that this is your dreamscape from a short while ago.”

So Luna couldn't show up to stop my nightmare because something was actively keeping her out. I suppress shuddering. I couldn't be doing that, could I? I doubt my mental fortitude is strong enough to combat Luna, but still...

The illusions disappear as Luna sighs and leans forward. “Blake...”

I close my eyes and sigh. “Luna, I know what you're gonna say. I'm sorry, but this is something I gotta deal with myself. Nobody but me would get it.” I open my eyes to see Luna floating the coffee pot over and pouring herself another cup.

She leans back in her chair and stares at me as the coffee pot floats back towards the coffee maker. I don't take my eyes off her as I raise my cup and take a sip from it. Eventually, she gives a small smile and nods her head. “You will always have somepony to talk to, Blake. And I shall always be around to listen.”

I mentally raise an eyebrow, but ignore it and return her smile. “Thank you.”

We sit in silence for a while before Luna speaks up. “What do you intend to do to pass the time before sister raises the sun? Surely not sitting here.”

I sigh and lean back in my chair, running a hand through my hair. “Honestly, I got no clue. Who really plans to do something at three in the morning?” As I take a sip of coffee, I realize there actually is something I can do. “Actually, Luna, are you able to stick around for a while? I have a little... Side project I could use your help on.”

“While my duties to the night normally draw me away, our subjects dreams were unperturbed, allowing us to enjoy the night as we please.”

I raise an eyebrow. “That's a fancy way of saying yes.”

She smirks. “A princess must maintain some level of decorum.”

I roll my eyes and smirk. “Uh huh, of course she must.”

She chuckles and sets her empty cup on the table. “Now then, what is this project that only I can assist with?”

I set my cup on the table. “Something that could benefit the both of us, or anyone else in service to you.”

She smiles. “I'm intriguted.”

“Ugh, just what is so important that you had to drag Trixie away from her enraptured students and all important school?”

I roll my eyes. “Trixie, I promise this won't take long.” I turn to the other pony in my living room. “And you're not gonna be behind on your deliveries?”

Derpy shakes her head. “Nope. As long as all the mail is delivered by the end of the day, my boss won't care.”

I had to pull Derpy away from her job, hence her sitting in my living room dressed in her work attire consisting of brown pants, a white undershirt with a brown vest, and a ballcap with an icon of an envelope on the front. I can't help internally smiling at the sight. Even with the drab uniform, Derpy looks actually cute dressed like that. I especially dig the ponytail her hair is in.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. Focus on the thing at hand. “Good.” I turn back to Trixie. “First, I talked it over with the band, and we're willing to perform at your amphitheater soon.”

Trixie smirks. “The usage of my amphitheater isn't free, you know. Hopefully you remember my request?”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I'll guest lecture for a class.”

“Hmm... Trixie is not sure one lecture is sufficient enough...”

“Fine, I'll do ya one better. I'll even provide homework requiring the students to visit the concert to actually complete it. Which means I'll need to show up for another lecture to grade and go over it.”

“Trixie finds this acceptable. When can the students expect this?”

“Sooner the better, so how about this coming Friday? It'll give the students the weekend to complete the assignment.”

“I shall announce it to everypony as soon as I get back.”

I clap my hands. “Excellent. Now, onto the other reason I called you both here.” I reach into my back left pocket and pull out a rough cut sapphire, holding it out towards Derpy. “Hold this for a sec while I go get the rest of my supplies, please.”

“Sure.” She takes it from my hand, inspecting it from multiple angles while I head back towards my bedroom.

“A sapphire? This is why Trixie has to stick around longer?”

“He said there's more Trixie, so be patient. Please?”

I shut my bedroom door and grab another sapphire off my desk, leaving only one left. There's a slight tingle as I hold it in my hand. I take a deep breath and let it out. Time to see if this project was a success. I focus on a mental image of Derpy as the sapphire gently vibrates in my hand. “Derpy, can you hear me?” Even with the door closed, I hear a yelp.

“Trixie, did you hear that?”

“No? Should Trixie have?”

“I could have sworn—”

“The sapphire, Derpy. Hold it, and focus on your mental image of me. Then think the words. Pretend you're saying it in your head. Like you're voicing your thoughts.”

All is quiet and I fear my experiment was a partial success. “Like this? Am I doing it right?” I grin as I hear Derpy's response back. Success!

“That would be a resounding yes! Hang on, I'll be right out.”

I grab a third sapphire and head back into the living room. “Trixie, here's one for you.”

She holds it up to eye level and squints at it. “Trixie can tell there's some sort of enchantment on this...”

“Derpy, focus on Trixie and contact her.”

Trixie snaps her head towards Derpy. “What did you say?”

“Trixie.” Her head snaps to me. “Hold the sapphire, focus on a mental picture of Derpy or me, then think whatever you want to say.”

Her mouth open and closes a couple of times before she sighs. “Trixie has several questions.”

I grin. “In due time. Two more tests.” I focus on Derpy and Trixie. “Can you both hear me?”

“Trixie just heard you seconds ago!”

“Yep. Still can hear you.”

“Excellent. Now, focus on each of us at the same time. We should be able to hear each other.”

“If you both can hear me, Trixie demands an explanation!”

“I'm with Trixie, what's all this about?”

“You'll both get your answers. But only if you don't demand it, Trixie.”

“Ugh. Fine, Trixie is politely asking for answers.”

I hear a giggle. “That's better, Trixie.”

I smile. “One more test. Luna, can you hear us?”

“Indeed I can. I take it the tests are successful?”

“Trixie still wants answers!”

“Trixie, shush!”

I hear Luna chuckle. “Tis quite alright, Miss Hooves. And you shall have your answers, Miss Lulamoon.”

“Alright. Tests successful. Now, your long awaited answers. This is version one of our communication network, a way for us to communicate and contact each other without having to be physically in the same location. Each sapphire is connected to each of the others, allowing long distance communication as long as we hold the sapphire, as evidenced by Luna all the way in Canterlot.”

“Question!”

“You wanted answers, I'm giving them, and now you have questions?”

“It's an important question! Suppose somepony of less than noble intentions manages to get their hands on this.”

“I was getting to that. Each sapphire has been enchanted to only respond to your magical signature. To anyone other than you, it's just a normal sapphire.”

“It's not entirely secure and has some flaws, but still better than having no security.”

Trixie nods her head. “No further questions.”

Derpy turns the sapphire over in her hand. “What made you come up with this?”

“I observed some guards using a telepathic link to speak to each other, and eventually came to the realization that I should see if I can make something that not only uses said link, but improves upon it, and doesn't require a caster. And thanks to Luna, you're each holding version one.”

“Implying there's more?”

“Thought you said no further questions?”

“Trixie is allowed to have more.”

I roll my eyes. “I fully intend to improve upon this design, adding more features and abilities. What they are, I do not know. I'll figure that out when the time comes. Anymore questions?”

“Trixie is now satisfied.”

“Still gonna take some getting used to hearing your voices in my head, but this should prove useful.”

“Now, if I may use these in their first official usage, my sister and I are requesting your presence in Canterlot two weeks from today. Bring anything you absolutely need for a week in the castle. The crown will provide everything else.”

“But Trixie's school...”

“Ah, yes. Your school, Miss Lulamoon. Have you found a suitable assistant yet?”

“Trixie is still looking.”

“I shall be sending along somepony tomorrow that you should find most suited for your needs. Teach them the mechanics of your school before you must come to Canterlot.”

“Trixie thanks you, your majesty.”

“There is no need. I am simply providing for my subjects. I must now bid you a good day, and a wonderful night.”

I pocket my sapphire. “Alright, I think that's enough of a test. I'm happy it worked as expected.”

“Trixie still does not see the need for it, but whatever. But do you expect Trixie to always hold this in case somepony must reach her?”

I open my mouth, but pause as the realization hits. I groan and rub my forehead. “How could I forget that...”

“Forget what?”

“I wanted to add a feature to store and replay messages from anyone in case you're unavailable.”

“Do you want the sapphires back?”

I shake my head. “No, I'll collect them later once I work out the spell matrix and how to incorporate it. I'm gonna need Luna's help anyway.”

“You're welcome, by the way.”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Trixie, thank you. Anyway, what do you think the princesses want with us?”

“Maybe they're finally recognizing our glorious rescue and commissioning great and powerful statues of yours truly... I mean, us.”

I raise an eyebrow. “But we're gonna be there for week.”

“Trixie is a magician, not a sculptor. Statues could take a week to be built.”

I roll my eyes. “You got any ideas, Derpy?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “It's gotta be something important enough for both princesses to be present. Maybe it is an award ceremony.”

I rub my chin. “It is a possibility.” I shake my head. “But I guess we won't find out till we actually get there.”

Derpy eyes her sapphire. “So, what do we call this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we can't keep calling it sapphire, right? We should give it a name.”

I rub my chin. “Ya know, I never considered a name for it. We really should figure one out later, but it's not a priority right now.”

“Oh, is it that time already? I should be getting back to my rounds. See you two later!” Derpy waves as she walks out of sight, followed by the sound of the front door shutting.

“And Trixie simply must get back to her school. After all, I have an assistant personally sent by a princess to prepare for.” She pokes my chest. “And don't you forget, you will be lecturing this Friday.”

I grab her hat and pull it down, so it covers her eyes. “And don't you forget, it's two lectures for one performance. Don't force me to make you Pinkie Promise it.”

She hmph's and readjusts her hat. “Trixie shall not go back on her word, especially to family.” Her horn glows and she teleports away with a pop.

I idly glance around. Not much else pressing to take care of around here, and I'm alone for now...

“You thinking what I'm thinking?”

“Absolutely not. I got me a gym membership, and I intend to use it.”

I watch as ponies work on setting up the various pieces of equipment needed for our show in Trixie's amphitheater. I shake my head and take another sip of coffee from a thermos.

“Something up? Don't tell me you're getting cold hooves now.”

“Nah, I won't back away from this, Vinyl. We've all worked hard to promote this, and I wouldn't want to waste the time and resources of everyone. It's just... Do I really look like teacher material to you?”

She laughs. “Not in the slightest.”

“So then why did I agree to teach a class again?” She shrugs her shoulders. “I mean, what do I even say, or do? I'm not cut out for this. I don't even know if I brought the right things I'd even need.” My shoulder bag and guitar feel like they get a little heavier as I say this.

She pats my shoulder. “Course you're cut out for this. Sure, you may not look the part, or act it, or sound like it—”

I raise an eyebrow. “Is there a point to this?”

“There is if you shut up. Look, you said it best a while ago. You're different. You bring your own brand, knowledge, and style to the party. And ponies wanna see that! They wanna see and hear you! Not another bland and boring teach reading a script. You're a certified musician that's actually out on stage! How many of those professors can say that?”

I chuckle. “You know, I'm pretty sure I needed to hear that. Thanks.”

She rubs her knuckles on her chest. “Eh, no need. Just looking out for my stars. What kind of manager would I be if I didn't?”'

“A lousy and uncaring one?” I check the time. “I got thirty minutes till I gotta start. Better get going.”

“Hey, make sure to impart some glorious wisdom to those eager minds, oh wise one.”

I chuckle and shake my head as I walk away towards Trixie's school. Vinyl is right though. If the students didn't want to learn from me, Trixe would have.... Correction, should have called the entire thing off. And from what she's been telling me, that isn't the case. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous still, but, a part of me can't help feeling excited at the prospect of teaching! ...Even if I don't know the first thing to talk about.

I glance up from my musings to see the school. Climbing the steps, I push open one side of a double door. I glance to my left at a directory. Let's see... Headmare's office, far end of the first floor on the right.

As I wander down the hall, I pass by a couple of the students who are quick to try and ask me things. I politely have to turn them away, promising that after my lesson I'll gladly answer anything for them. Or better yet, just come to the lesson. As I head towards Trixie's office, I take in the vibrant landscape of decorated lockers and murals. There doesn't seem to be any general theme to it, just a weird symphony of personal preference everywhere you look.

One locker does catch my eyes, and I can't help by smirk. It's a locker with the initials for the Rejects running down it, and what looks like hand painted artwork of our albums on it. I can't help myself, I pull out a marker I brought along and find an empty space to write 'Got my eye on you. Blake.'. I'm sure that'll make someone's day.

I finally get to Trixie's office door and knock. “Come in.” Well, that doesn't sound like Trixie., unless she suddenly became a dude. I open the door and step in. Realization hits as I take in what must obviously be Trixie's assistant sitting behind a desk. I don't even get to close the door before the stallion is around the desk and eagerly shaking my hand. “Hi! I'm Quill! It's an honor to meet you! When the headmare said you'd be coming, I'd figured it was a sort of hazing ritual, but here you are in the actual flesh!”

I blink and kick the door closed with a foot. “Right, uh... I'd introduce myself but it seems like you already know me.”

“Who doesn't know you? You're still one of the most famous artists out right now.”

I chuckle. “Glad to hear I'm still relevant in the public eyes.”

“Of course! Oh, my wife is not going to believe this! We're huge fans if you couldn't tell. Could I get you to—” A door slams open behind Quill. He jumps, letting go of my hand to spin around and face whoever opened it.

Trixie points a finger at Quill. “What did I say about jumping the talent when they arrive?”

“But I—”

I pat Quill on the shoulder. “Come on, Trixie, give him a break. It's not everyday you get to meet someone famous.”

“Yes he does! Trixie see's him every morning!”

“Okay, I'll rephrase. It's not everyday he gets to meet a famous musician.”

Trixie opens her mouth, but closes as she crosses her arms and huffs. I can't quite hear whatever she mumbles under her breath. “Fine, get it out of your system now, Quill. But this better be the last time!”

He bows. “Yes, headmare.” He glances at me. “One moment, please.” He runs over to his desk and rummages in a drawer. “I brought these in on the off chance it wasn't a hoax, but...” He pulls out all our albums, “Could you sign these?”

I smile and pull out the marker. “Toss 'em here.” He rushes over and presents them to me. I scribble my signature on each of them.

“Do you think I—”

“See us after the show if you want everyone else.” I cap the marker and place it back in my pocket.

“Thank you!”

Trixie steps forward and places her hands on my shoulders, pushing me towards the door. “Yes, yes, you're very grateful, Quill. Now please get back to work. There's tickets to hand out and Trixie needs the list of the students. Please have it ready for me by the time I get back.”

“Of course, headmare.”

Trixie manages to push me out of the room, not that I'm resisting, and shuts the door behind her. She sighs. “Come, I have a room already set aside for you.” She turns and starts walking off.

I fall in step beside her. “So, Quill... How's he working out for you?”

She smiles. “Wonderful. Things have been much better since he started. Trixie is finally catching up on her needed sleep.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You haven't been sleeping? You don't look like somebody with sleep deprivation.”

“You're one to talk.”

“Hey, it's not my fault sleep hasn't been coming easy to me.”

She laughs. “Then that just speaks for Trixie's acting abilities!”

I roll my eyes, but nevertheless laugh. After she's done, I motion towards a painting on my left. “So, what's with all the... Design choices around here?”

She stops and smiles. “Ah, so you've noticed Trixie's brilliant decisions.”

I eye everything around me. “Yeah, pretty sure Pinkie on a sugar bender is subtler than this.”

Trixie shudders. “Never wanna see that...”

“Likewise. But your brilliant decision?”

“Yes! Trixie made the decision to let the students design the entire hallways and their lockers however they choose. After all, every good artist needs a canvas to create with. Trixie can't perform if the stage isn't up to her standards after all.”

“And the classrooms?”

“Off limits unless explicitly approved and supervised by the faculty. Too much distraction, and nopony will focus on what you need them to see.”

I smirk. “Seems like your knowledge is translating well to a school environment.”

“Naturally. Trixie is gifted with many talents. Now then, we've wasted enough time as is.”

She resumes walking down the hall, and I stumble a bit to catch back up to her. After some time, she stops outside a door that has a name written on it that I don't have time to read before she opens it and motions me inside. It's a pretty standard professors office by the look of things. There's a windowed door at the far end of the left wall that allows me to see into a large classroom. And just from my tiny view into it, it looks packed. “How many students are in there, exactly?”

Trixie shrugs her shoulders. “I dunno. Never bothered to count. Quill has the list, remember?” She raises an eyebrow. “I never pictured you'd get nervous.”

“I'm not nervous. Just curious how many students wanted to hear my wisdom.”

“Fine. But if you need anything,” She holds up the sapphire. “I'll be on standby.”

I chuckle. “And you said you didn't see the point of them.”

She rolls her eyes. “I don't, but even I can't deny the potential practicality of them. Think of all the uses for it that I could incorporate into my performances!”

I raise an eyebrow. “And what about a way to talk to family and friends without leaving the house?”

“Well, yes, that too. Regardless, I will be around if you need me. Just wait here till they're ready for you. Say and do whatever you want till your time is up. The professor will let you know when that is. Okay?” I nod my head. “Perfect. Now, I must attend to my school. Go give them a lesson they'll never forget.” With that, she leaves the office and shuts the door behind her.

I look down at my thermos and idly swirl the coffee instead. I can't help shake the feeling that I'm gonna screw this up... But Vinyl and Trixie believe I can do this, else they would have talked me out of this. At least I hope they would have... Jeez, look have nervous I'm getting over this. I had no damn trouble talking to school kids. I'll be fine talking to a room of college students... Right?

“Sir?” I look up at a mare wearing a gray blouse and black dress pants peeking into the room. “We're ready for you.”

I smile. “Excellent.” She opens the door and steps aside as I walk into the classroom proper to cheers. I'm taking a couple of bows for everyone when a tap on my shoulder draws my attention back to the professor. She jerks her head towards a desk seated in front of a giant blackboard. I nod my head and walk over.

I set my shoulder bag down and prop my guitar on the desk as the professor moves a few papers off to the side so I have a reasonable workspace. I nod my thanks to her, my only response being a silent nod from her before she takes a seat at the corner of the room. The noise steadily dies down to the point where one can hear themselves think till all is quiet. “For those of you who don't know, my name is Blake Quinter, lead singer of the All-Equestrian Rejects. But you likely wouldn't be here if you didn't know that.”

“I love you!”

I chuckle. “And I love our fans. Now, before we begin class proper and I forget, I'm looking for the owner of a certain locker that I've taken an interest in. It's got something on it directly related to me.” I see a mare thrust her hand into the air. “You're the owner? Alright, stand up and tell me what's on your locker.”

A mare stands up and fiddles with a strand of her teal hair. “The initials AER, which stands for the name of the band, and artwork of your album covers I painted.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And what proof do you have?”

Her eyes go wide and dart around the room. “I... Um... I... There's....” I'm just about to write her off as faking it when she takes a deep breath, clenches her fists, and closes her eyes. “I have a framed picture of Big Mac on the inside back wall with a heart around his face!”

There's mixed reactions from the class, mostly laughter, but she gave me something concrete I can work with. I wait for order to return before speaking. “Took guts to say that, and I can respect that. We'll see if that's the truth after class. Your name?”

“Li- Lilac Brush.”

“Then stick around after the lesson, Lilac.” I go to take another swig of coffee and end up finishing off the rest. “Excuse me, professor...”

“Wind Song.”

“Could you please go get me some more coffee?

She stands up and walks over to grab the thermos out of my hand. “Cream and sugar?”

I shake my head. “Black.”

She nods her head and leaves the room. Now, back to the expectant eyes judging my every move.... “Now then, you're all here because you wish to learn something from me. Well, I'm gonna be outright telling you, I've got no idea where to even begin. But... If I had to pick somewhere to begin, I'd start with how anyone can use music to convey a message, to tell a story, to just yell onto the world what you're feeling or how you want to feel. And we'll do that by examining some pieces.” I spend time going over some choice pieces, occasionally performing some of the lines and opening discussions with the class.

As I'm writing more lyrics on the blackboard, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I glance to see Wind Song standing there. “While the class is enjoying themselves, and I'm sure you are too, I'm afraid we're running out of time.”

I pause. Huh... I doesn't seem like I've been here long enough for me to run out of time... Oh well. “Class, Wind Song has just informed me that my time is almost up.” There's groans and protest from most, though a few seem relieved. “Now, before you all leave, let's talk about your assignment. Tonight, there will be a show by us that you all will be getting tickets for, handed out by your headmare. At the show, you all must listen to the lyrics and write down whatever meaning you can gleam from the songs. A relatively simple assignment for you all, no? Regardless, enjoy yourselves tonight. Class dismissed.”

Most of the class files out of the room, though a few are trying to get stuff signed by me, which I happily do. It takes Wind Song a bit to usher out the remaining stragglers, but she does so with ease. I slump down into her chair and just breathe. “Well, you seemed to handle yourself well enough.”

I chuckle. “For winging it, I suppose that's a great compliment.”

“Um... Sir?”

“Hmm?” I look over at the mare from before, the one from when I was looking for the locker owner. “Lilac, right?”

“Yes... You wanted me to stick around?”

I nod my head. “Please, take me to your locker. Prove what you said was true.”

“I'm... I'm not in any trouble am I? Did I do something wrong?”

I shake my head and stand up. “No. Far from it actually. Just show me to your locker.”

She nods her head and starts walking towards the exit, constantly glancing over her shoulder at me.

“See you in a few days again, Wind Song.”

She smiles. “I'll make sure to have coffee waiting.”

I chuckle as I follow after Lilac. I keep pace with her as we walk through the halls, though her focus is more on the floor. She occasionally glances at me but her focus goes right back to the floor when I try to look at her. As we walk, I do have to turn away more than a few students.

Lilac does indeed eventually stop in front the locker I wrote on. Her eyes seem to widen as she takes note of what I wrote. “D-D-Did you...”

I nod my head. “Indeed I did. But still gotta prove it's yours. Let me see that picture.”

Her hands fumble with grabbing her lock and turning the dial, but there's eventually a click as she opens the locker door. She audibly gulps. “In the back... Behind my books on the top shelf.” I float out her books and lean in to look. Sure enough, there is a tiny framed picture of Big Mac with a heart drawn around his face in the back.

I nod my head and step back, floating her books back. “All the proof I need. Now,” I shut the door and point to the artwork on the front, “You said you painted these?”

“Y-Yes. Did I not get something right? I used the actual covers for reference, and I swear I captured everything—”

“You got anything else you've painted?”

She blinks. “Huh?”

“Do you have anything else you've painted? Or any sketches? Something that I can see right now?”

“Yeah... I got a couple right here.” She reaches into her locker and pulls out a notebook. She flips to a page before holding it out to me.

I take it from her and scan the page. Most of them are sketches, though there's one that is fully colored in. It's of a tree and lone figure reaching towards the sky silhouetted by a setting sun as the night sky with a scattering of stars starts to fade in. It's... Amazing she managed to create something so small yet detailed. “And painting is your primary medium?”

“I... I prefer painting. But that doesn't mean I can't use other mediums!”

I close the notepad and hand it back to her. “Bring this with you tonight, and come backstage after the show.” She has this glazed look in her eyes, but she still grabs the notepad and clutches it to her chest. I gently pat her shoulder before walking away towards Trixie's office.

But I don't get far before a group stops me. I just smirk and pull out the marker. “So, who's first?”

First Impressions: The Mane 6

“Permanent Vacation”

First Impressions: The Mane 6

I stand at the top of the steps, staring in shock at the sight before me. The Mane Six, in full view, staring at book floating in midair. Midair, completely defying gravity. I shake my head to make sure I wasn’t dreaming this. Nope, the girls are still there and that book is still floating. Okay, this isn’t a dream. After the shock wears off, I decide on a plan of action. Since I wasn’t restrained, the contents of my pockets emptied (I still have my knife and keys), and that the girls aren’t wearing the Elements, I wasn’t considered much of threat by them.

I have a clear path to the door of the library. I could escape and try to make it back home. But I had an entire flight of stairs to walk down and too far of a distance from the bottom of the steps to the door for me to cross without getting caught. So the only thing to do was to hide until I could make a clean escape.

I slowly descend the stairs, keeping my eyes on the girls at all times. Once I reach the bottom, I spy a space between two bookshelves big enough for me to fit into. But to reach it, I’d have to turn my back on the girls and risk one of them turning around. I move as fast as I can towards the nook and slide in. I slowly exhale the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in. I peek around the corner to see if I was noticed. That’s odd. I swear all of them were there just a moment ago. Where the hell is—

“Hi! My name’s Pinkie Pie! What’s yours? Are we playing hide and seek? I love hide and seek! Can I hide next? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?”

I scream as I jump out from the nook and turn around to see Pinkie sitting on top of the bookshelf with the biggest grin ever plastered on her face and madly waving a hand at me.

“Pinkie, get away from that thing!”

Great. Thanks to Pinkie, I just alerted everybody to my location. I turn to see the girls darting their eyes between me and Pinkie. I freeze and stare right back at them. Now that I can see their faces, I’m shocked. I was expecting for their faces to be alien but if one shot them a passing glance, they might mistake them for human.

“But Twilight, I wanna make a new friend and throw them my special ‘Welcome to Ponyville weird creature, I’m your first friend Pinkie Pie’ party!”

“But we don’t know what IT,” Twilight throws a hand in my direction, “is capable of doing! Or even what IT is!”

“But—”

Twilight’s horn glows a bright magenta. Pinkie floats by my head with the same glow surrounding her and lands beside Twilight as the glow disperses.

“Wee! That was fun! Let’s go again!”

Twilight turns her attention back to me. I can feel the six pairs of eyes burning into my skull. I slowly move my hands up in the air and smile slightly. Hopefully they get the message that I don’t want to hurt them. They all glance between themselves. All except Fluttershy, who is staring at me. I should have known. The only person (Not sure if I should call them ponies or people. I’ll just stick with people for now until I find out just how much of them are human) most likely to get my message of peace would be Fluttershy. I stare at her, showing the biggest pleading eyes that I can muster. She smiles slightly and walks towards me, the clip clop of her hooves the only sound in the room.

“Fluttershy, wait!” Twilight says.

She ignores Twilight’s warning and is now standing right in front of me. She is about the same height as me.

“You don’t want to hurt anypony, do you? You’re just a creature in a strange situation, aren’t you?”

I smile slightly and place a hand on her shoulder, never breaking eye contact. She flinches slightly but doesn’t resist. Okay, I’m actually touching Fluttershy so this is no dream. I glance at the rest of the girls to see them staring at us.

I lean in close to her ear and whisper, “You’re right. I don’t want to hurt you. So would you mind telling your friends that?” I take my hand off her shoulder and walk towards the sofa, sitting right in the middle of it.

Fluttershy nods her head and says, “It’s alright. They won’t hurt you.” She walks over and sits down beside me. She then beckons for the rest of the girls to come over. They slowly walk over, still looking amongst themselves, and sit down in the other chairs.

“If Fluttershy trusts you, then I guess we have to,” Twilight clears her throat before continuing. “My name is Twilight Sparkle and these are my friends—”

I raise my hand to stop her. It occurs to me that I shouldn’t reveal that they are a TV show, or are very similar to a TV show where they are ponies, so I have to act dumb about certain things. After all, who knows how they will take it? But it doesn’t mean that I can’t have some fun.

“Don’t tell me. I’ll figure it out for myself.”

Everybody except for Fluttershy gasps. “How can you speak Equestrian?!” Twilight asks.

Fluttershy looks at me then at the girls. “Oh my, you can understand it? I thought only I could.”

“It’s speaking perfect Equestrian! How is that possible?! My books make no reference to this creature and now it speaks Equestrian!?"

“No, you’re speaking English.”

Before they can ask any more, I point to Applejack. “Your name has something to do with apples based on that apple design on your clothes. So I’m gonna guess that your Apple… Jack?”

The expression on her face said it all, a mixture of surprise and suspicion. “How’d ya know?”

“Easy. The apple design on your clothes and you’re wearing a Stetson which means, to me at least, southern or western ancestry. And I’m really craving a bottle of Jack Daniels right now, so I went with Applejack. Anyway, back to the name game.”

Pinkie opens her mouth to say something but I raise my hand to stop her. “And no, Pinkie, you can’t play this game with me. But we will play a different game later,” I say, Pinkie nodding her head in understanding.

I point to Rainbow Dash. “Your name is Rainbow Dash.”

She bolts in front of my face and hovers there. “How’d you know that? Are you a spy?!”

There is so many things I want to say right now but can’t. I place my hand on her face and push her away. “First off, take a breath mint,” everybody giggles at my joke, “Second, the rainbow mane hence Rainbow. Lastly, you look like you’re built for speed so I took a guess with Dash.”

She crosses her hands and looks away as she lands back in her chair. “Lucky guess,” she mumbles before breathing into a hand and sniffing. “And I don’t need a breath mint!”

I then point to Rarity. “I’m having a hard time coming up with your name but those diamonds on your clothes are hard to come by where I’m from so I’m guessing that you’re Elusive?” I had to get at least one name wrong to throw off suspicion.

“Close, dearie. My name is Rarity, owner of Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique. Charmed to meet you.”

I nod my head. “That was going to be my second guess. Anyway, I know the rest of you because you already told me or you already said each other’s names.”

I could still sense some uneasiness between the girls because they kept looking between themselves. I’d probably be doing the same thing if I was on the other side. I mentally sigh. I would need to gain their trust somehow.

Twilight was the first to speak. “You know about us. But we don’t know anything about you. So tell us, what is your name?”

“My name is Blake Quinter, but call me Blake, from a place called Earth. I am what is known as a human.”

“Okay, Blake, where is this Earth place? I haven’t seen it on any maps of Equestria,” Twilight asks.

“Hell if I know. According to where I’m from, talking people with horns, wings, and skin colors like yours shouldn’t even exist.”

“So you’re not from Equestria?”

“I could be from another planet or universe.”

“This is amazing! An entirely new species that could be from another world or universe!” Twilight levitates a scroll and quill over to her. “Tell me everything! Like what your job is! Or your education level!”

I pretend to stare at the quill and scroll as they hover there, laughing slightly. “Alright, how are you doing that? Where are the wires?”

Twilight looks between me and the items. “You never saw magic before?”

“Magic? You mean like spells and charms? No way. The only magic I’ve ever seen is fake and is meant for nothing more than entertainment value.”

“How can you possibly live in a place without magic?! It must be dreadful!” Rarity says.

I roll my eyes. “We’ve been doing fine without magic for centuries. Judging by the way society is now, I say we’ve turned out just fine.”

“As you can see, unicorns such as Rarity and I can manipulate the magical energies of Equestria by focusing on a specific event and channeling it through our horns.” Wow, I honestly think that’s the first time Twilight ever gave a simple explanation for anything.

“I still find this all hard to believe but I’ll go along for now. Back to the topic on hand, my highest level of education is a college graduate. I tried getting a job at an IT company but ended up working for a fast food joint,” I pause for a second. “Please tell me you guys have fast food places.”

“You mean like Hay King on the other side of town?” Rainbow asks.

“Do they serve things like burgers and fries?” Rainbow nods her head. “Then that’s exactly what I mean.” I place my hand down on my leg and wince slightly in pain.

In an instant, Fluttershy is hovering over my leg. “Are you alright? Do I need to apply more ointment? Do I need to change—”

I hold my hand up to stop her. “It’s fine, really. Still a little sore from this morning. I suppose I should thank you for healing me.”

She blushes slightly and hides behind her mane. “I could never leave an injured creature alone.”

“What in the hay exactly happened to ya this morning?”

“Well, I woke up in my house which is now sitting somewhere in that forest on the edge of town—”

“The Everfree Forest!” They all gasp.

“Yeah, that place. Anyway, I ran outside my home and was attacked by a manticore,” Again they all gasp, which is really starting to get annoying. “It stung me in the leg with its tail. I cut the tail slightly and that somehow scared it off. I’m not questioning it. I’m just happy to be alive.”

“How could you hurt that poor creature?” Fluttershy says, her eyes wide open.

“It was either me or him, and frankly, I prefer to have my organs safely within me. Don’t get me wrong, I hated doing it but my need for survival overcame my beliefs.” Besides, I thought to myself, she should know how a creature reacts when cornered and afraid… Not that I was afraid…

Fluttershy opens her mouth but is interrupted. “Come on, Fluttershy. You can’t believe him,” Rainbow points at me, “You don’t have any claws or talons. You couldn’t have cut it!” Rainbow crosses her hands and smirks as she leans back in her chair.

“Oh, really?” I say as I reach into my pocket and pull out my knife. “Behold my mighty weapon!”

I flick the blade up. I silently laugh to myself as they stare wide-eyed at the dull, metal sheen of the blade that now has caked blood on it.

“I-I-is that blood?” Fluttershy stammers from beside me.

“Yes. This is what I used to cut the manticore with,” I say, flicking the blade back down and replacing it in my pocket.

My stomach growls, snapping them out of their trances. “So, anybody got any food around here?” I lick my lips, “And how about something to drink?”

Twilight glances nervously at me. “Uh, sure. What would you like?”

It’s probably for the best if I don’t bring up meat in front of them. “I could go for an apple right now and a glass of water will do.”

“Hang on a moment. Spike! Spike!”

The door to the basement opens up and out steps Spike, who surprisingly doesn’t look any different from the show, rubbing his eyes. “Come on, Twilight. Let me sleep in peace. It’s bad enough that I have to sleep in the basement with that thing…” He stops rubbing his eyes and looks directly at me. I smile and wave.

“Ah! Get behind me! I’ll protect you girls!” He yells, running in front of Rarity and putting his claws up. Though he is doing his best to hide it, I can see the fear in his eyes.

“Don’t worry Spike. I wouldn’t harm any of you.”

His eyes go wide and he lowers his claws. “It can talk?!”

“I have a name ya know.”

“Spike, his name is Blake. Would you fetch a glass of water and an apple for him, please?”

“Uh, sure thing Twi,” he says as he walks towards the kitchen, glancing back at me. He returns a few moments later carrying said items. He hands them to me and we sit in silence, everybody watching me eat. I get down to the core and toss it on the ground.

“Ain’t ya gonna eat the rest?” Applejack asks.

“No, because I’m unable to.”

“Why? It looks like ah perfectly good apple ta me.”

“Because my body can’t digest certain things and this apple core is one of them.” Seriously, how much of their bodies are equine if they can eat an apple core?

“Really? What else can’t you digest? Can you explain your digestive system for my notes?” Twilight asks, the quill furiously writing out what I said.

“The list is too long for me to describe and I’m not a doctor so no, I can’t explain it to you.”

“Drat. I was hoping that I could get more info before sending this to the Princess. Spike, would you be so kind?”

“Sure Twi,” Spike said, taking the scroll in his claw and breathing a green flame onto it, leaving the room smelling slightly of sulfur. It burned into a purple aura and flew out an open window.

“We shouldn’t have to wait long for her reply,” Twilight said.

“Wait, what just happened and who are you talking about?” I knew full well what was going on but still had to play dumb.

“Oh right, sorry. Equestria is ruled by Princess Celestia and the recently returned Princess Luna,” Twilight said while I replayed the last part of her sentence in my head. If Princess Luna recently returned then that means that I’m somewhere between the second episode and third episode of the show. “I’m her personal protégé and Spike here has a magic connection to her, allowing us to communicate across vast distances.”

With that, Spike clutched his stomach in pain and burped out green flames and a scroll. Twilight levitated the scroll in front of her and read it for the rest of the room.

“My most faithful student, I thank you for providing some details of this creature. I would like to personally speak with it but am tied up at the moment with day court.”

Twilight blushes slightly. “Whoops, I forgot that she was in court.” She goes back to reading the scroll. “When I’m able, my sister and I will arrive to see this creature for ourselves. Princess Celestia.”

“Well, no sense waiting here. I’m getting back to my house,” I say as I shakily stand up.

“But you’re in no condition to travel! What you need is plenty of rest,” Fluttershy says, stepping in front of me.

“I’m going to my house and that is final. I should still have something to ease the pain in my medicine cabinet.”

“Oh, okay.” She hangs her head down and lazily draws a circle on the floor with her hoof.

I sigh. She’s the only one to open up to me the most yet is still too shy to ask me a simple question. “Fluttershy, would you like to come with me?”

She tries to hide behind her mane. “Yes please. If that’s okay with you.”

“Of course, Fluttershy. Besides, on the trip there, you can tell me all about your animal friends.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful.”

Twilight decides to interrupt and be the killjoy… Again. “I don’t know Fluttershy. We don’t know what his place looks like. And you saw that knife. What if he has more of them? Or other dangerous items?”

“But Twilight, I thought you wanted to study me for your princess?” I say.

“Yes but—”

“Come along then. I can show you some of my life when we get there.”

Twilight sighs. “Fine. Lead the way,” She levitates a purple (Of course) backpack with her cutie mark on them over to her “Take care of the library while I’m gone, Spike.”

I turn to head out the door.

THUMP

“Fuck!” I say, clutching my head in pain from walking into the wall. I hear gasps behind me and I turn around. Everybody is staring at me. “What? Please tell me you’ve heard swearing before.”

“Well, yes but…” Twilight motions with her head towards Spike.

“Oh right, sorry. I’ll keep it check around the little ones.” I step outside. And so, with six anthro ponies following me, we leave the library in search of my home.

As we walk through the town, many of the townspeople stare at me. They give me a wide berth. Some even run into houses and lock the doors. I’m sure Twilight will explain later but right now, I have a mission. I manage to lead us back to where I entered the town from the forest. Turns out I walked right past Sugercube Corner and didn’t realize it. I stop when we reach the edge of the forest and everybody bumps into me. I turn around and scan the sky.

“Beg pardon, dear, but what exactly are you doing?” Rarity asks.

“From my house, I spotted a flag and headed in the direction of it. I’m looking for it and I’ll move away from where it is in a straight line, thereby retracing my steps,” I reply.

“Or we could, you know, follow your hoofprints,” Twilight says.

I turn around and look at the spot of ground Twilight is standing by. Sure enough, there is a footprint in the ground. It looks like the ground was soft enough for me to leave an impression.

“Or we could do that,” I cross my arms across my chest. “My plan was still better though.”

After a short nature walk, and a very detailed description of Fluttershy’s animal friends from her, we arrive at my home.

“It looks so… boring,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes at my abode.

“As the saying goes, it’s what on the inside that counts.”

I walk up to the door and pull my keys from my back pocket. I unlock the door and step off to the side, bowing with my hand extended towards the door.

“Ladies first.”

“My, such a gentlestallion.” Rarity said, batting her eyelashes at me as everypony heads inside.

“Like I always say, chivalry isn’t dead as long as I’m still around.”

I follow them into my living room. They stare at the décor which consists of a few family photos, a couple of plants, a sofa, and a thirty-two inch flat screen (Screw you, Rent-A-Center! Now I can’t make those payments!) on top of a TV stand. I take my boots off and place them to the side. I hear the soft clop of hooves follow me as I head down the hallway to my room. I pause outside my door.

“Now, for my privacy and yours, I ask that you wait out here while I change.”

I open the door and walk in, slamming it shut behind me before they can answer. I flick the light switch and am surprised to find that the lights work. I then notice that my clock is working again. I look at my computer and the battery light is lit. How is the power even working? There are no electric lines to power this stuff. I notice a small gem sticking out the side of the computer. The same thing is on every electric device around the room. I make a mental note to ask Celestia about this as I undress, tossing my clothes onto a pile in the corner of the room. I search through my dresser for anything to wear. Settling on a pair of cargo shorts and a Doctor Who t-shirt that says “Keep Calm and Don’t Blink”, I then open my door and walk over to sit down at my desk as the girls file in. They start examining everything I have.

Twilight rushes over to my bookshelf. “Books?! You read books?! And you have them organized by title?!”

“Yeah.”

“Could I borrow some of them?”

“I’ll let you read them but they don’t leave this house. Got it?” Twilight just nods her head vigorously and levitates out one of my Dick Francis books, Longshot.

“Great. Another egghead,” Rainbow says from the corner of the room.

Pinkie is poking my bed with a hand and watching it ripple. I’m just about to tell her it’s a water bed when she jumps up in the air and yells, “Cannonball!”

“No! You’ll pop the bed!”

She stops in midair inches above the bed, so close that her tail is touching the sheets. “Oh, okay! Soft cannonball!” She slowly lowers herself onto the bed.

“Who’s this here Batman fella?” Applejack asks, pointing at my poster of the cover of Batman: Arkham City.

“He’s a fictional superhero who fights crime using technology and his wits.”

“H-h-he looks scary.” Fluttershy said from behind Applejack.

“That’s the point. He dresses like that to strike fear into the hearts of his enemies.”

“Speaking of fashion choices, this wardrobe has a certain… style to it.,” Rarity said, opening and closing my dresser drawers.

“Hey, fashion is not what I know. What I know is technology.”

“I’m sure with a few adjustments, this wardrobe would look simply fabulous.”

“So,” I clap my hands together, eager for a change of subject, “Who wants to see a video game?”

Pinkie throws her hand in the air and starts bouncing in place (Really hard to ignore the fact that each bounce draws my attention to her… assets. I gotta get my mind out of the gutter), somehow getting off the bed with me not hearing or seeing it. “I do! I do! Pick me! Pick me! Are they fun? Of course they’re fun. What game wouldn’t be fun? I mean that would—”

I tune out her voice, which is harder than I imagined, and turn on my Xbox 360. I remove Red Dead Redemption and replace it with Guitar Hero: World Tour. Afterwards, I head over to my closet to grab the guitar controller.

“What kind of arcade system is that?” Twilights asks over the sound of her quill flying across the scroll.

“Arcade system? You guys must be living in the stone ages. It is an Xbox 360, a more advanced gaming system that allows me to play games through the use of my TV.”

“Amazing,” I hear Twilight mutter.

“Xbox, play Guitar Hero: World Tour.” Did I mention that I have the Kinect? Yeah… something that I’m not proud of but still need to mention here.

As the game fires up, the girls gasp while I plug in the controller.

“How—”

“That little bar right there with the red light.”

“So, what’s the guitar for?” Rainbow Dash asks, hovering in front of the guitar.

“This is what allows me to play this game,” I say as I navigate the main menu. “It’s a music game so I figured I’d show you two things, advanced video games and human music.”

After selecting my custom character, which Rarity had to comment on how the clothes could be improved with a few simple modifications, I get to the song list. I think for a moment on what song to choose. I turn my head to look at the girls, hoping one of them would give me some inspiration. My eyes settle on Applejack.

“Uh, Blake? What are ya staring at me for?”

I shake my head. “Sorry, looking for inspiration on what song to play and you just helped me.”

I search through the list until I get to Sweet Home Alabama.

I tap my foot along with the beat as I flawlessly hit the notes. Just to show off how good I am, I turn my back to the screen and walk over to my window. I still haven’t missed a note as I look outside the window. Even through we’re in my home, I still get a sense of dread that the manticore from earlier is going to come back for revenge and my home won’t be enough of a defense from it. But I have something special for him if he decides to come back…

I shake my head and turn back to the game. By now, everybody is dancing along. Applejack has really gotten into the swing of things and Twilight… I don’t think I can call whatever she’s doing as dancing. Seriously, it looks like she’s having a stroke or a seizure.

As the song finishes, I take a bow. My ears are greeted by excited cheers and hooves stomping the floor. I stand back up and smile.

“That. Was. Awesome!” Rainbow says as she hovers in front of my face.

“While I’m not one for country, I must say that that song was wonderful.” Rarity chimes in.

“Can you play another song? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?” Pinkie said, bouncing in place.

“Alright, one more song.”

“YAY!”

Five songs later, everybody is still impressed. But it is taking its toll on me. My hands are sweaty and I am hungry.

“Alright, that’s enough for one day,” I say as I hit the power button on the Xbox and place the controller on my bed. “Let’s get something to eat.”

I walk to the bathroom at the other end of the hall. I point to my left. “I’ll be along shortly. The kitchen is on the right.” They all nod as I step into the bathroom to heed the call of nature. After washing my hands (mental note, how do I have running water?) , I head for the kitchen.

“Alright, so who’s…,” I stop myself. I sniff the air a few times. Fresh baked cupcakes? I enter the kitchen. All the girls are sitting at the table eating cupcakes while Pinkie pulls out another tray.

“How... You… Cupcakes…,” I sigh and shake my head as the girls turn to look at me. This is going to be another one of those Pinkie moments. “You know what, never mind. It’s better if I don’t ask how you baked these so fast.”

I head over to the fridge and grab a Coke. Then I sit down at the table and grab a cupcake. Taking a bite, my taste buds are instantly swarmed with flavor. The softness of the cupcake combined with the rich flavor of the icing and the warmth of a fresh batch sends a shiver down my spine.

“Oh God, this is the best cupcake I’ve had in ages!” I scarf the rest of it down and pop open the Coke, taking a few swigs. We eat in joy as I scarf down three more cupcakes. We finish up eating just as the sun starts to set behind the treetops.

Twilight’s eyes widen. “Oh no! I promised the Princess that we’d be back in time to meet her! We’re behind schedule!”

I stand up from the table. “While you worry about that, I’m going to take some meds for the pain.”

I walk out of the kitchen and return to the bathroom. I search through my medicine cabinet for aspirin. Not the strongest drug, I know, but the most basic for pain in general. I find the bottle and pop it open, taking two tablets from inside. I replace the bottle back in the cabinet as I swallow the pills. I head into my room and grab my knife, then return to the kitchen to find everybody ready to go. Wordlessly tilting my head over to the front door, I flick the light switch in the kitchen to off as they file out. I open the door for them and slip on my boots. I finish tying them and grab my jacket and keys, following them outside. Locking the door behind me, we make the trek back to town.

The trip back was uneventful as we enter the edge of Ponyville. By now, the sun has set and the moon was high in the sky, creating a natural light. As we neared the library, Twilight started reciting to me a checklist of proper procedures for meeting the Princesses.

“Rule one, be polite. Rule two, never bring up Nightmare Moon unless asked to do so. Rule Three—”

“Eh, I’ll just wing it.” I say, pushing open the library door and stepping inside. Winging it has worked before for me so why wouldn’t it now?

Standing on the other side of the library is Princess Celestia in a shimmering white dress with golden streaks that seemed to sparkle with each movement. That mane is just so… magnificent. It’s like the wind blows through it every waking moment and that the sun itself glistens through it. It reminds me of home for some reason. I’m shaken out of my trance when I hear Twilight.

“Princess!” Twilight exclaims as she walks up to her mentor and embraces her in a hug. I must have missed the girls come in behind me since they all are standing in front of me bowing towards Celestia.

“Twilight, my most faithful student. So wonderful to see you again,” Celestia says, hugging Twilight then lifting her hand towards the rest of the girls.

“Hey, where’s Princess Luna? Wasn’t she supposed to be here?” Rainbow asks as everybody gets up from bowing.

“Princess Luna will not be joining us tonight. She wishes to reacquaint herself with the castle and our speech patterns,” Celestia then turns her attention to me. “I see that our guest is alive and healthy.” She moves towards me as everybody else rearranges themselves to stand behind her. As she comes closer, I notice that she is far taller than me.

“Greetings, Blake. My name is Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria along with my sister, Princess Luna, in the fine lands of Equis. On behalf of Equestria, I bid you welcome.”

I know I’m supposed to make a good impression and be polite but come on, how many times can I say that I got to troll a troll? I mentally picture myself rubbing my hands together and laughing manically. This is going to be fun.

Author's Note

First time I ever inserted a link to a song in a story, so if I did it wrong, or am breaking some rule, let me know and I'll change it.

The Cutie Mark Chronicles or The Story of My Butt Tattoo

“Permanent Vacation”

The Cutie Mark Chronicles or The Story Of My Butt Tattoo

I awaken and open my eyes, only to be greeted by sunlight hitting my eyes which I immediately regret. I snap my eyes shut and moan. It feels like someone is taking twenty jackhammers to my head and isn’t stopping.

“So, did you enjoy getting drunk last night?”

“Please don’t talk right now. It already hurts without your annoying voice.”

“Come on. You knew the consequences of drinking, so pay the price.”

“I know, I know. And to answer your question, I enjoyed last night. At least, what I can remember.” Last thing I remember is us four finishing the first pitcher.

I hear groaning come from behind me and something soft drape over my side. Someone is in bed with me... Oh God, tell me I didn’t do something I’d regret?! Talk about massive wakeup call!

“Well, I can’t guarantee the regret part, but yes, you did do something. And let me tell you since you can’t remember, it was one hell of a ride!”

“That better be figurative and not literal.”

“Maybe… Turn around and find out.”

Turning my head ever so slightly, I glance at the thing draped over me. Oh, you have got to be kidding me! A cyan wing belonging to only one pony I can think of. Slowly rolling over, I see Rainbow Dash just starting to wake up, the covers hiding just enough of her chest. Like me, the first thing she sees upon opening her eyes is sunlight. She slams her eyes shut and her wings instinctually fold in to cover them while she groans. Rubbing her eyes, she slowly opens them and smacks her mouth a couple of times. Her eyes go wide at the sight of me, her mouth hanging open. Probably how my face looks right about now.

An awkward silence passes between us before Rainbow Dash speaks. “…Blake?”

“…Yeah, Rainbow Dash?”

“Am I in your bed?”

I glance around to confirm that yes, this is my bedroom and not some cheap hotel room. “Yeah.”

“Did we…” She reaches up to rub the back of her head and looks away.

“No idea. You naked right now?”

She slowly lifts the covers up and looks down. “Yeah… Are you?”

Lifting the covers up, I glance down. “Yeah.”

“Should we…” Rainbow sits up, pulling the covers up to cover herself.

Keep a calm head right now. “Talk about this after we both get a shower? Yeah, we should. You go first.”

Closing my eyes, I hear Rainbow slide out of bed. I then hear my door open and shut, followed by the sound of another door opening and shutting. Once I hear running water, I get out of bed and throw on my pants from yesterday. I see that my clothes are scattered on the floor, almost as if I was in a rush to get undressed. Stripping the covers and sheets off my bed for washing later, I then grab some clothes for me to change into, a button up, dark grey long sleeve dress shirt with a giant design of a cross with wings on the back and a pair of dark blue jeans, along with my iPod.

With Rainbow still in the shower, I carry my dirty laundry to the washer and throw it in. Afterwards, I head to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee. Lord knows we’re gonna need it. What did we do last night? Should I be worried? How will this affect our friendship?

“Hey… Is that coffee?” I jump slightly. I was so lost in thought I didn’t even hear Rainbow. I turn around to see her looking everywhere but me.

“Yeah,” I grab a mug and hand it to her, “We can talk after I’m out of the shower.” Rainbow grabs the mug and I step off to the side so she can get her coffee.

I start to leave the kitchen but pause at the doorway. “And Dash,” I look over my shoulder to see her looking at me, “Please don’t leave. We both need to talk this out. I don’t need my friendship with you ruined.”

“I…Uh… I ain’t going anywhere,” Rainbow smiles after saying this.

“Thank you.” Leaving the kitchen, I quickly head into the shower. I don’t want to make her wait any longer than I have to.

“She could walk out right now. You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that. But I have to trust her.”

Getting out of the shower, I get dressed and head back into the kitchen. Sitting at the table is Rainbow Dash, a second cup of coffee directly across from her. Sitting down, I idly drink from my coffee, unsure how to even approach this.

“Dash?”

Rainbow lifts her head up. “Yeah?”

“Thank you for staying.”

Rainbow rubs the back of her head. “Well, you know me.”

I reach my hand out and grab hers, causing her to look directly at me. “No, really. Thank you for staying. No matter how much you wanted to run, you stayed.”

I release her hand while she takes a sip of her coffee. “I wanted to run, really, I did. But then I wouldn’t have been loyal to myself or to you. I gave you my word that I would stay, so I stayed.”

“Again, thank you. Loyalty and trust are two things I’m not known for giving out. Now, let’s talk about last night.”

Rainbow sighs. “Look, I’m sorry for this happening. I should have never brought you with last night.”

I shake my head. “Rainbow, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should apologize.”

Rainbow raises an eyebrow. “Why should you apologize?”

“Because… Well… I don’t normally drink that much to get wasted, but I was having a really fun time with you guys and, I guess, lost myself to the moment.”

“Yeah, same here.”

“Look, I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. We don’t know exactly what happened. So let’s forget last night and continue from there.”

Rainbow grabs my hand. “Of course I want to forget last night… And this morning. But what if something did happen last night?”

I squeeze her hand. “Then we’ll get through it, together, as friends. You six are the best friends, hell, some of the only friends I have. I don’t want to do anything that’ll ruin what I have with all of you. I never hurt my friends or leave them hanging.”

Rainbow smiles. “Neither do I.”

“Then please tell me, right here and now, that this will not affect our friendship in any way.”

“Blake, you’re one of my best friends. I give you my word that we will stay friends, no matter what happens.”

I down the coffee. “Well then, I guess that’s all she wrote.” Standing up, I motion towards the front door. “Come on, I hear Pinkie knows how to deal with hangovers.”

Rainbow stands up as well. “You don’t have to ask me twice.” She heads for the front door but stops in front of it. “Uh, what do I tell ponies if they ask why I’m at your place?”

I put a hand to my chin in thought. A good excuse for Rainbow Dash… Aha! I snap my fingers. “You were helping me with something only a pegasi can do! I just bought a new bed and it needs a cloud mattress, so I got you to help me with it.”

Rainbow holds her hand out for a high five, which I return. “Nice one!”

“Actually, I’m being serious. Mind helping me out here?”

“Sure, show me the bed and I’ll do it in a jiffy.”

I lead her to the spare bedroom. “Well, here it is. I’ll let the expert handle it from here.”

Rainbow whistles as she rubs her hand along the frame. “Nice choice. I had one just like this when I was growing up.”

I raise an eyebrow at her. “No kidding?”

Rainbow turns to me and rolls her eyes. “I’m the Wonderbolts biggest fan. Of course I’m gonna have the bed themed after them.”

I laugh. “Why am I not surprised.”

Rainbow laughs as we head outside. I watch as she darts from cloud to cloud, shaking her head immediately at some while others she pauses, her hand on her chin, before shaking her head. She eventually finds a cloud that she deems acceptable, after testing it herself by lying on it, and brings it down to ground level. She carries it into the spare bedroom and molds it to fit the bed frame.

“Are you sure this is the best cloud you could find?”

Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Of course I’m sure. It’s my job to know clouds. I ain’t the head of the Ponyville weather team for nothing.”

I cross my arms and laugh. “I find that hard to believe, what with your track record of sleeping.”

Rainbow walks over and jabs her finger into my chest. “Believe it bub. I worked hard to get that job and I’m sure as Tartarus not gonna lose it over sleeping.”

I back up and raise my hands up. “Alright, I believe you. Never said I didn’t, just that it was hard to believe,” I point to the bed. “We all set?”

“Yeah, you’re good to go. That all you needed?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Nothing that would require your help right now. All that’s left to do is thank you.”

“Anytime. You need my help again, you know who to call.”

“Ask her if there’s something strange in her neighborhood.”

“Dude, this is Ponyville. Pretty sure strange things happen on a frequent basis here. Not to mention Pinkie and her antics.”

“Good point.”

I head for the front door. “Now that that is taken care of, how about we head to Sugercube Corner?”

As we step outside, I squint and cover my eyes from blinding sunlight. The pain in my head increases tenfold. Better hope Pinkie’s cure really works. Leaving my humble abode behind, we head towards Sugercube Corner. As we near City Hall, I spot a mare waving to us. Upon closer inspection, I realize I recognize her. “Hey, look. It’s Berry Punch.” Making a little detour, Rainbow and I walk over to her.

“Nice to see you two up and about.”

Rainbow wraps her arm around me. “Well, you know us. Can’t keep this mare and human down.”

“So, what are you doing here?” I casually ask Berry.

“Looking for you, actually.”

I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms. “Really? Whatever for?”

Berry rubs the back of her head. “Well, after your little song and dance last night, I kinda forgot how to make,” Berry looks around, “an Alabama Slammer. Would you mind telling me again?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t see why not. You need…” My brain processes what she said, “Wait a minute, what song and dance last night?”

“Oh, don’t you remember?” Rainbow and I shake our heads. “Well, you four performed last night.”

“Wait, what?” Rainbow asks.

“Blake asked me if the karaoke machine worked, which I said yes to, and he climbed on stage and picked out a song.”

“I did?” I don’t find this hard to believe, just that it’s hard to remember.

“Yeah, you sung the first verse and pulled Applejack, who looked extremely nervous, up on stage. She started to voice her disapproval, but you handed her the mike and she sang the next line.”

“Excuse us a second.” I pull Rainbow off to the side. “Do you remember any of this?”

“No,” Rainbow smiles, “But I’m starting to wish I did cause this sounds awesome!”

“I know, right?” We turn back to Berry. “Please continue.”

“Let’s see… After a few lines, you,” Berry points to Rainbow, “Grabbed the mike and slid across the stage, singing a few more lines.”

“I/She did?” Rainbow and I say at the same time.

“Yeah, then Vinyl joined you three and you four sang the rest of the song.”

“Say, what song was it?” Rainbow asks.

“Oh, you know, the one about believing or something,” Berry replies, waving her hand to emphasize how unimportant it was.

“Wow, really wish I could remember that,” I say.

Berry shrugs her shoulders. “I’m not really surprised you don’t. After the amount of alcohol you four had, I’m surprised none of you passed out in the bar.”

“So am I. Anyway, you wanted the recipe for a Slammer?”

Berry snaps her fingers. “Oh, right. I’m ready whenever you are.” I list off the items and directions needed to make a Slammer. “Okay, I’ll remember it this time. Thanks again and remember, my offer still stands.” Berry walks away, waving over her shoulder, as Rainbow and I return the gesture.

“So,” I glance at Rainbow as we near Sugercube Corner, “Still regretting last night?”

“After what Berry just told us? No way!”

Opening the door, we head inside and go right to the counter. The place is nearly deserted, save for two booths being occupied.

“Hi, Dashie! Hi, Blake! What brings you two here? Do you need something to eat? A party planned?” Pinkie gasps. “I bet it’s a party based around food you need my help with! Well, your good friend Pinkie Pie—”

Here we go again. “Pinkie, your cupcakes are burning.”

Pinkie points her finger at me, a smirk on her face. “I knew you were gonna try that again! I don’t have any cupcakes in the oven, so ha!”

Rainbow nudges me in the ribs. “So what do you have in the oven?” She asks.

“Muffins. Why?”

Rainbow points to the kitchen. “Cause they’re burning right now.”

“What?!” Pinkie sprints into the kitchen while me and Rainbow high five. Pinkie comes walking back out a few moments later, laughing. “Okay, I really need to stop falling for that. It was pretty funny though!”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, gotta love being pranksters at heart.” I lean on the counter. “Anyway, we hear you know how to help deal with hangovers.”

Pinkie nods her head. “Yeppers! Grandma Pie showed me her super-secret recipe for a hangover cure.”

“Well then, mind making it for Rainbow and me?”

“Sure. Take a seat and I’ll bring it out to you.” Pinkie bounces into the kitchen, humming to herself.

I turn around to see Rainbow already sliding into a booth. Just as I slide in next to her, Pinkie pops up beside the table, two glasses filled with a golden liquid in her hands. Wordlessly, she places the glasses down in front of us then skips back into the kitchen. I look at Rainbow to see her shrug her shoulders and take a drink. Picking up my own glass, I take a drink. Smacking my lips, I find that it tastes pretty good. It’s sweet, but not too sweet to the point where sugar overpowers everything else. I believe I detect a hint of orange juice and cinnamon as well.

“Hey, you want to know what this reminds me of?”

“No, but you’re probably gonna tell me anyways, right?”

“Jarate!”

I spit back into the glass, my eyes wide. “Blake, what’s wrong?” I look at Rainbow Dash to see her staring at me, one eyebrow raised.

I wave my hand at her. “Nothing. Just had a really weird thought.”

The door to Sugercube Corner slams open, causing me to look at the offender. Applejack walks in, a scowl on her face and mumbling under breath. Upon seeing us, the scowl is replaced with a small smile as she walks over to us. “You too, huh?” She asks as she slides into the seat across from us.

I nod my head. “Like you wouldn’t believe. So, what has you in a mood?”

“Other than the hangover? Some varmits stole from our harvest and ah chased them down, only ta lose them when ah ran into the Crusaders. Ah got so frustrated that I came her ta see if Pinkie could make her hangover cure.”

I glance down and point to the glass in front of Applejack. “Well, looks like she already has you covered.”

Applejack’s gaze follows my finger, her eye going wide at the sight of the glass. “What? How did…” Applejack sighs, “One of those Pinkie moments, right?”

“Pretty much,” Rainbow and I say.

Applejack grabs the glass and takes a long drink before looking between Rainbow and I. “So, do either of ya remember anything from last night, cause I sure don’t.”

Rainbow shakes her head. “Not much. Only thing I remember is the first pitcher.”

I nod my head. “Same here,” I then smirk. “But we did find out from Berry about our musical number last night.”

Applejack, taking a sip of her drink at the time, spits back into the glass. “Come again?” Rainbow and I regale her with what Berry told us. As we tell Applejack, her smile grows until she can’t help but laugh along with us.

“Wow, great story! Now tell the one about the flying spaghetti monster!” I jump, nearly spilling my drink, and look to my right to see Pinkie sitting on a chair.

“Pinkie, where did you come from?” I ask.

“Well, you see, when a mare and a stallion love each other—”

“Not what I meant! Where were you five minutes ago?”

“Blake,” I turn to look at Applejack, “Just let it go. Sometimes it better ta just accept things like this than try to explain them.”

“But I… She…” I sigh and take a long swig of my drink. “Nevermind. Pinkie, could you get us a round of donuts, please?” I slide some money towards her.

Pinkie grabs the money and rushes behind the counter, depositing it in the register. “Uh, can you be a teeny bit more specific about what kind of donuts you want?”

I sigh and look down at the table, waving my hand at her. “You’re the queen of random, just pick any three.”

“Okie Dokie Loki!” I don’t look up until I hear a plate slide across the table. On a little plate are three donuts. One is chocolate frosted, another is glazed, and the last one is covered in powdered sugar. “Enjoy!” Pinkie once again bounds into the kitchen.

“Alright, so who gets first pick?” Rainbow asks, licking her lips as she eyes the donuts.

“You two get first pick. This is my treat to the both of you for last night.”

Rainbow grabs the powdered sugar donut and stuffs her mouth. She mumbles something out, which I can only assume is thanks, and I nod in return. Applejack grabs the glazed one. “Mighty kind of ya,” She says before taking a bite.

“No problem.” Grabbing the frosted donut, I nibble away at it, occasionally taking sips of the drink, as us three make general small talk. Rainbow finishes describing the upcoming weather patterns to Applejack when the front door opens. Out of curiosity, I look to see who it is. Coming in is none other than Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity. “Yo, Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy!” They turn to see me waving at them, causing them to wave back and walk over to the table.

Dash and I scoot over to make room for them to sit down. Rarity sits down beside me. “Hello girls,” I shoot Rarity a scowl, “And Blake.”

Applejack tips her hat. “Howdy, Rares, Twi, Fluttershy. What brings y’all over here?”

“Well, after Fluttershy and I’s fabulous spa date, I decided that a little treat was in order for us.”

I nod my head. “That explains you two,” I motion towards Twilight, “But what about you, Twilight?”

“Oh, I’m here to pick up an order of sapphire cupcakes for Spike. He’s been working so hard lately that I figured he could use a reward. So, what are you three doing here?”

Rainbow downs the last of her drink. “What does it look like we’re doing? We’re eating donuts and trying to deal with a hangover.”

Rarity sighs and shakes her head. “Rainbow Dash and Applejack, when are you two going to learn to drink in moderation?”

I turn to Rarity. “Oh, have you never gotten drunk before?”

“Goodness, no! A mare of my standing cannot afford to get drunk.”

I allow a devilish smirk to cross my face. “Oh, I’m gonna have fun breaking you.”

“Hi girls!” All of us jump at the sight of Pinkie popping up beside the table. “What can I get you? Oh, and Twilight,” Pinkie reaches into her hair and pulls out a blue box, “Here’s your order for Spike.”

Twilight gingerly grabs the box. “Uh… Thanks?”

“You’re welcome! So, what can I get for you?”

“I’ll take a vanilla milkshake, dear. Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy tries hiding behind her hair now that all the attention is on her. “Oh… Um, a vanilla milkshake, please.”

Rarity claps her hands. “Wonderful! Anything for you, Twilight?”

“Oh, it’s fine, Rarity. You don’t need to get me anything.”

“Twilight, I insist you get something.” Rarity puts a lot of emphasis on insist as she hands some bits to Pinkie.

“Well, if you’re offering… A strawberry milkshake, please.”

“Great! I’ll be back in a flash.” Pinkie darts away, leaving behind a dust cloud of herself, only to reappear seconds later in the exact same spot with three milkshakes in her hand. She hands them off to the pony that ordered it, before pulling up a chair and sitting it in.

“Uh, Pinkie?”

Pinkie leans her elbows on the table and cups her chin in her hands, looking at Twilight. “Yes?”

“How did you make these so fast?” Twilight asks as she takes a sip of her milkshake.

“Twilight, please, for the love of God and all that is holy, don’t question it right now. I’m as curious as you are, but I’m not in the mood to deal with it,” I plead.

“But… Fine. Thank you, Pinkie.”

I shake my head. “I can’t believe that you four have become accustomed to this kind of stuff.”

“When you’ve lived in Ponyville as long as I have, you kinda get used to Pinkie being Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash says, causing Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack to mummer in agreement.

Pinkie suddenly stands up straight, a distance look in her eyes. “I must go. Three fillies need me at this exact moment in time.”

“And you know this how? How would you hear somebody talking about you?” I ask.

Pinkie looks at me and smiles. “I’m like Superman, baby. I know when I’m needed.” With this, she bolts out the front door.

“Did she… How did… Great, I’m getting a headache when I shouldn’t.”

“You’re telling me. How about I smack my head against the table a few times, see if that helps?”

“Blake! Blake!” I blink my eyes to see Twilight snapping her fingers in front of my face.

“Huh, what?”

“You sorta zoned out there,” Rainbow Dash says.

“Oh, sorry. Just thinking some things over.”

Twilight snaps her fingers. “Oh, I almost forgot. Rainbow, the Crusaders are looking for you.”

Rarity nods her head. “That’s right. I was telling them the story of how I got my gorgeous Cutie Mark.”

Applejack lifts her glass up and nods her head. “Same here.”

Fluttershy nods her head, too busy drinking from her milkshake to answer properly.

The front door opens and Pinkie walks in, her eyes closed and a smile on her face. “And that’s how Equestria was made!”

The Crusaders follow her in, confused expressions on their faces. However, upon seeing Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo smiles and rushes over, nearly bowling over her fellow Crusaders. “Finally! I’ve been looking all over for you, Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow smirks and rubs her hand on her chest. “Well, look no further, squirt. What do ya want?”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle walk over to the table. “We were wondering if you’d tell us how ya got your Cutie Mark.”

“That’s it? Well then, prepare to hear the awesomest Cutie Mark story ever! It all started back in flight school…” I’ve kinda gotten used to drowning out ponies by now when they talk about things I already know, which is exactly what I’m doing right now to Rainbow Dash.

“Wow! What an awesome story, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo cheers once Rainbow finishes her story.

“Yeah. I really like the part where you created the Sonic Rainboom. It must have looked really pretty,” Sweetie Belle says as she stares off into space, probably imagining the Rainboom.

“Wait ah minute… Didn’t y’all say ya saw or heard ah rainbow explosion?” Apple Bloom asks, causing all of the girls to look at each other.

I down the rest of my drink. “Excuse me, but I need to use the restroom.” Rarity nods and slides out of my way, sitting back down once I’m out of the booth. “Um, somebody mind pointing me to the restroom?” Pinkie points over her shoulder towards a door behind the counter, earning a nod from me.

After taking care of business, I open the door to see the girls and the Crusaders in a group hug, with Scootaloo struggling to escape.

“Hey, let’s all sing a song!” Pinkie says.

Nope! I’m not getting roped into a song, so time for me to leave. Creeping towards the kitchen and the back door exit, I spot Scootaloo staring at me with wide eyes and mouthing help me. I mouth back I’m sorry and quickly exit the building as the first notes of a tune reach my ears. Going out front, I spot Spike beckoning to me from a bench. When I walk over, he jumps off the bench. “Hey, Blake, I’ve been looking all over for you.”

I chuckle. “You’re the second person to say that today. I must be popular.”

He glances at Sugercube Corner, then back to me. “You went out drinking last night with Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Vinyl, didn’t you?”

I’m pretty sure my mouth is open. “How would you know?”

“Big Mac told me. He found Applejack passed out on their couch this morning, mumbling your name and something called an Alabama Slammer. According to him, Pinkie makes a great hangover cure.”

I scratch my head. “Uh, aren’t you a little young to know about drinking?”

Spike looks around before lowering his voice. “Look, I’ll be honest with you, I know a lot more than I let on. Being around books all my life, I’ve learned things that I shouldn’t know at my age. Plus, Celestia taught me things whenever I had free time away from Twilight.”

“So what you’re saying is that you have the mind of an adult with the body of a child, yet still do childish things? And that Celestia knows about this?” Spike nods his head. “Huh, who would have thought? So, why were you looking for me?”

His face perks up, his voice returning to its normal volume. “Well, I’m starting a band!”

I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms across my chest. “Really? What instrument do you play and where did you learn to play it?”

“The drums. I taught myself back in Canterlot when Twilight didn’t really need my help with her studies or when Celestia was too busy to teach me stuff.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Makes sense to get yourself a hobby, but I think it takes more than one person to start a band.”

Spike rubs a claw on his chest and smirks. “I already got that worked out. I got Big Mac playing bass, and guitar if needed, and Lyra Heartstrings playing guitar.”

I nod my head. “Sounds like you got everything worked out. So, what’s this got to do with me?”

“Well, we need a lead singer before the Ponyville talent show and figured you might want to join.”

“Ponyville talent show?”

“Yeah, it’s this little contest that the mayor holds the night before the Gala, which is in a week, so Ponyville can have its own celebration.”

I rub the back of my head. “Well, I did always have a dream to be in a band when I was younger. Tell you what. I’ll join your band if I can get guitar lessons and decide on what songs we do. Deal?” I hold my hand out.

Spike goes to grab my hand but stops. “Well, I’m fine with it but I don’t know about the rest of the band. I’ll have to talk it over with them.”

I retract my hand and shrug my shoulders. “Fair point. Where are you guys meeting?”

“Actually, we’re meeting over at Sweet Apple Acres in the barn,” Spike turns and starts walking away, prompting me to follow him. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to Mac and Lyra once we get there.”

As Spike and I near Sweet Apple Acre’s barn, I hear the sweet sounds of a bass being tuned coming from inside. The doors are already open, so we stroll inside. I see a very large and muscular stallion, wearing a red and white plaid shirt under a beaten brown jacket and dark blue jeans, sitting on a hay bale off to the side and casually strumming a red bass guitar. I can only assume that this is Big Mac. Leaning against the opposite wall is Lyra, a teal with streaks of purple guitar on the floor beside her.

“Hey guys, I’m back,” Spike says, causing Mac and Lyra to look our way. “Big Macintosh, this is Blake. Blake, this is Big Macintosh.”

I walk over and shake Mac’s hand. “Big Mac, a pleasure to meet you.”

“Eeyup.”

“Wow, a real conversationalist.”

“No kidding.”

“And this is Lyra Heartstrings.” Spike points to Lyra.

I walk over to her and shake her hand. “You came third in the Running of the Leaves, correct? A pleasure to meet you as well.”

“Nice to meet you! I’ve heard plenty of things about you. And I must say, your entire culture fascinates me. But enough about that. Are you here to be our lead singer?!” She asks with glee.

I glance at Spike to see him rubbing the back of his head. “Well, you see, he agreed but only if he gets guitar lessons—”

“I can teach him!” Lyra interrupts.

“At least that’s settled. But he would also like to decide what songs we play.”

“Now hold on here,” We all turn to Big Mac. “We don’t know anything about him. Why should we give complete control of our band over to him? How do you know he ain’t just gonna tear us apart?”

I sigh. “You brought up a fair point, Mac, but look at me. Honestly, I have no intention of ruining this band. Your sister is a good judge of character, ain’t she?” Mac nods his head. “So if your sister approves of me and trusts me, why shouldn’t you?”

Mac grabs a straw of hay from the pile he’s sitting on and places it in his mouth, idly chewing on it as he strums his bass. After a couple of moments, he responds. “Alright, so maybe you ain’t that bad of a pony. But why do you want to decide on the songs we play? It still seems strange.”

“Again, a fair point. I’m only trying to help you guys out here. I come from a different planet or universe that has music that this world has never seen before. So if you play music from my planet or universe…” I let the sentence linger for them to think about.

Lyra snaps her fingers. “Then all the music we play would be completely original in our world! It’s the perfect plan! Oh, I’m so on board with you choosing the songs!”

Spike nods his head. “I’m up for it. We only were gonna play cover songs anyway.”

Mac spits out the straw of hay and walks over to me, patting me on the back. “Well, it’s like my pa always said, sometimes the best ideas come from the strangest places. Welcome aboard.”

“Thanks guys. Now then, before we go further, I need to know what you instruments you can play. Spike told me that, you,” I point to Mac, “Can play bass and guitar if needed?”

Mac nods his head. “Eeyup.”

I nod my head then point to Lyra. “And all you can play is the guitar?”

Lyra shakes her head. “Nope! I can play any instrument in all of Equestria. It’s what my Cutie Mark means.”

I raise an eyebrow. “But I thought your mark was a lyre? Shouldn’t that mean you’re good at playing the lyre only?”

Again, Lyra shakes her head. “No. The lyre is my favorite instrument, but I found out I’m naturally gifted with any instrument, so I took it that my mark meant that I can play instruments well.”

“That, or she’s really good with her hands. Bow-chicka-wow-wow!”

“Alright, I’ll give you that one.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Works for me. Now then, can you play violin? Cause we’re gonna need it for this song I want to use at the talent show.”

“Sure I can. Do you think we could listen to the song so we can practice playing it?”

“Sure, I have it right here on my iPod,” I say, pulling out the device.

“Alright, get the song and I’ll copy it to my iApple.” Lyra pulls out her own device.

I raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean copy it?”

“Haven’t you ever magically copied a song to another device?” In the corner of my eyes, I see Spike facepalm.

I roll my eyes. “And going back to our previous conversation, where did I come from?”

Lyra blushes and looks away, rubbing the back of her head. “Whoops, sorry. Anyway, music can be copied to other devices by latching onto the magical signature given off the gems powering them, provided they are formatted to accept music.”

I glance at Lyra as I scroll through my song list. “Then how do music companies make money if one person can buy a song and share it with everybody else?”

“The gems in consumer devices are enchanted to prevent sharing between them, so only the retailers or the company itself can add music to the device.”

I find the song and hover my thumb over it. “And you think this will work with my iPod? Also, found the song.”

Lyra takes her iApple and touches it to the bottom of my iPod so the two ports are touching. “In a sense, more or less. I figure that since you’re from a different world, and since your device wasn’t built by a company here, it isn’t constrained by the laws. If anything, I believe it should trick my iApple into thinking you’re the company or a retailer.”

Big Mac speaks up at this point. “You seem to know an awful lot about this stuff.”

Lyra shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, I used to work for Vinyl in her store—”

“Wait, Vinyl has a music store here in Ponyville?”

Lyra looks at me. “Yeah, right behind her club is a three story building. She lives upstairs, the second floor is a recording studio, and her store occupies most of the ground floor. I’m surprised she never showed it to you.” Man, Vinyl must be doing pretty well in life to have a house that big, a successful business, and a recording studio in her home.

I shrug my shoulders. “I might be able to get a job there. Anyway, continue with your story.”

“Anyways, I worked with Vinyl in her store. She taught me everything she knew about the music business.”

“Quick question. If songs are digital or magical now, how does her store stay in business?”

“Some ponies prefer buying a hard copy of the music instead, like Twilight actually,” Spike answers.

“Alright,” I look at Lyra, “Now what?”

“Play the song. If everything works out, then as soon as the song starts, my iApple will pick up on it and copy it.”

“Well, here goes nothing.” I tap the song and it starts playing. After waiting a bit, Lyra pulls her iApple away and I stop the song.

“So, did it work?” Spike asks while Lyra thumbs flicks up on the screen.

Lyra pauses in her searching, smiling wide. “Here, you tell me,” She says as she turns her iApple around to face me. Looking at the screen, I return her smile.

“Well I’ll be,” I hear Mac say as he leans over my shoulder to look at the screen.

“Come on guys! I want to see it too!” I pick Spike up and sit him on my shoulder so he can see as well. “Wow.”

I clap my hands. “Wonderful! We need to practice this right away. Hey, another question. How many songs can we do?”

Big Mac rubs his chins and looks up at the ceiling. “Well, in previous years, bands could play two songs if’n they wanted to.”

“Okay, another question. Can Applejack dance?”

Mac nods his head. “She don’t want ta admit it, but she can dance. She ain’t never been on a stage before though.”

I smirk. “And how do you feel about messing with Applejack?”

Mac looks at me and smirks slightly. “What kind of big brother would I be if’n I didn’t tease her every once in a while?”

“Perfect. Lyra, we’re gonna need another song to practice with.” Scrolling through my songs, I wait for Lyra to touch our devices before tapping the song.

Spike, still on my shoulder, leans forward to look at the name of the song. I turn my head to look at him and see him grinning from ear to ear. “Best idea I’ve had since moving here from Canterlot.”

Author's Note

Woot! First chapter of twenty fifteen! Let's start it off with a bang, shall we?:trollestia:

Link to reference game here!

Swarm of the Century or Parasprites… Why’d It Have to Be Parasprites?

“Permanent Vacation”

Swarm of the Century or Parasprites… Why’d It Have to Be Parasprites?

Well, it would seem that while we were partying yesterday, Spike got a letter saying Celestia was coming to visit Ponyville in two days. And like with everything that happens in this town, everyone panicked. However, thanks to some quick planning on Twilight’s part once the announcement was made, things got organized. Currently, my job is to just help out wherever I’m needed. Which at this moment is trying to keep Pinkie from eating all the food we’re making in preparation for the banquet being held.

“Pinkie, that food is for tomorrow!” I shout for what has to be… I lost track at this point, honestly.

“But I need to sample the quality to make sure they match up to Pinkie Pie standards!”

I motion towards the mess in the kitchen and the flour on her clothes. “You baked them with my help, so they should live up to your standards!”

She stuffs a piece of cake in her mouth and swallows. No chewing, just swallows it whole. “Mmm, perfect! On to the cupcakes!”

I sigh. Why did I have to get stuck with this job? Please let there be something to distract Pinkie soon. “How’s the food coming along, Pinkie and Blake?”

I throw my hands up and step out front to lean on the counter. “What food? As fast it’s being made, she eats it! At this rate, there won’t be anything left!”

“I need to taste test my work!”

Twilight just pats my shoulder. “Hang in there. I’m positive Pinkie knows what she’s doing.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Does she? Cause to me, it looks like she’s getting a free meal.”

“Twilight! Pinkie! Blake! I have something to show you!” Fluttershy practically bounds into the room. She skids to a halt in front of us. “Oh, I not interrupting something, am I?”

I shake my head. “Not at all. At this point, I need something else to take my mind off,” I jerk my thumb over my shoulder, “This.”

“You won’t believe what I found near the Everfree.”

“Ohh! This I gotta see!” Pinkie leans over my shoulder.

Fluttershy ruffles her right wing. “Come on out little fella.” There’s some movement within her wing before a blue little ball with wings and large eyes flies out and lands on her shoulder. Shortly after, two more, one green and one yellow, fly out and also land on her shoulder. “Huh? But there was only one of you before…”

“Oh, they’re adorable!”

I raise an eyebrow. “Really, Twilight? They look like a freaking pest.”

“Ugh, parasprites.” Pinkie makes a gagging noise.

Fluttershy and Twilight just look at us. “How do you both not find these things adorable?”

“Twilight, I’ve seen enough pests in my time to know one when I see it.”

“Great, now I gotta stop taste testing the food to find a trombone!” Pinkie leaps over the counter and runs out the door.

“Umm… What was that about?”

I sigh and rub my forehead. “A blessing and a curse if you ask me.” I motion to the door. “Alright, everybody out. I actually gotta finish baking everything since Pinkie decided to bail.”

Twilight and Fluttershy share a quick glance. “Okay then. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

I nod my head as they give a quick wave while walking out the door. Now that Pinkie is gone, I might be able to… Huh, it’s all done. Every single dish perfectly baked and ready for tomorrow. Ugh, Pinkie logic. Welp, may as well do something productive. “Mister Cake!” I shout up the stairs.

“Yes?”

“Everything’s done, so I’m heading out for the day!”

“Great work! Enjoy the rest of the day, and thanks again!”

Yeah, not happening. The sooner I help out Pinkie, the better. “Enjoy your day as well!” Heading outside, I glance around. Pinkie couldn’t have gotten too far…

Pinkie pops up in front of me, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. “Blake! You gotta help me find a harmonica!”

I put a hand on her shoulder and slowly push her back. “First, you don’t have to shake me to get your point across. Second, say no more, I’m in.”

How do these ponies make that freaking squee sound? “Great! I already got the trombone, but I still need a tuba, kazoo, harmonica, accordion—”

I throw my hand over her mouth. “Pinkie, how about we work on one thing at a time?” She nods her head. I raise an eyebrow as my palm becomes… moist. “Pinkie, please tell me you aren’t licking my hand.”

She pulls my hand away from her mouth. “But it still had frosting on it and everypony knows how much I love frosting and not just any kind of frosting but—”

I wipe my hand on my pants before snapping my fingers. “Pinkie, focus on the now. Potential parasprite invasion on the horizon that we need to stop before the town is destroyed.”

She giggles. “Whoopsie. Right, enough chit-chat! Time for seriousness!”

I nod my head. “Good. Why don’t we start at the most musically inclined place in Ponyville?”

Pinkie snaps her fingers. “Of course! Twilight would have something!”

“What?” Before I can stop her, she darts off, leaving me standing in the middle of the street with an open mouth. Screw it, I’ll do it myself. When I think of music, there’s only one place in Ponyville to go.

“…Fluttershy’s?”

“You better be joking.”

“Yeah, I’m just fucking with ya. To Scratched Records!”

As I walk through town, I spot Pinkie darting around as well, mumbling various instrument names under her breath. Well, maybe if she was a bit more specific as to why she needs all this shit, then everyone might be more inclined to help her. No matter. Once things go south and Pinkie and I save the day, then they will listen.

Reaching Vinyl’s store, I notice a lack of anything to distinguish that she’s open. I groan. For the love of God, can she please be home today?! I’d rather get as much done today before Twilight casts that spell making the parasprites stop eating food and start eating houses! I gotta protect my shit! And I guess stopping the town from being destroyed, but my shit comes first.

I bang on the glass door. “Vinyl! Vinyl! Answer me!” I pound on it now. “I swear to all that is good and holy, you better be in there!” No answer. “God damn it!”

“Blake! Did ya have any luck getting instruments?”

I jump and spin around. “Pinkie, you have got to stop doing that!”

She giggles. “Sorry, but we need to find these instruments before the parasprites multiply!”

I motion to the door. “Well, almost everything we could need should be in here, but Vinyl has decided to disappear for the day!”

“Then we just need to find somepony else that has—” Pinkie leans to the left and waves. “Hiya, Lyra! Anyway, we need somepony else—”

I hold my hand up. “Hold that thought.” I turn around and smile at the sight of Lyra. Maybe we will get what we need today. “Lyra, what brings you around here?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I was gonna talk to Vinyl about us maybe starting a tour or something, but…” She glances at the store, “It looks like she isn’t in today.”

I rub my chin. Huh, a tour… Yeah, I think it’s about time we actually had one. “I’m all for having a tour, but we gotta get Mac and Spike on board first.”

“Psst! Focus!” Pinkie whispers in my ear.

I nod my head. “Right. Mind if I ask a favor of you, Lyra?”

She smirks. “Shoot, as long as it’s not you asking me out.”

I laugh. “Nah, that comes later in the year. You got any instruments back at your pad? We need—”

Pinkie pops up in front of me. “A tuba, kazoo, harmonica, accordion, tambourine, trumpet, drum, ukulele—”

Lyra just jerks her head behind her and starts walking away as Pinkie keeps spouting off instruments. I take it she has some of what we need, so I start following her with Pinkie right behind me.

Well, thanks to Lyra, our search didn’t turn up fruitless yesterday. Granted, she didn’t have much, but we got enough for Pinkie to call it a successful day. Though as of today, things took a massive turn. Swarms upon swarms of parasprites flitter throughout town, mixing in with the screaming crowds as food is being eaten in bulk. I know the girls are doing their best to try and contain the parasprites, but it’s going to be a fruitless effort. So once the swarms started appearing, I knew I didn’t have long till Twilight cast that spell. So grabbing Pinkie, we rush over to Scratched Records in hopes that Vinyl is there.

I scream in frustration while banging on the door. “God damn it all to fucking hell!”

“I just don’t know what to do! I looked everywhere yesterday and couldn’t find a cymbal, harmonica, or flute! I even asked the girls for help, but they ignored me!”

I glance over my shoulder at Pinkie. “And these are absolutely necessary? This plan won’t work without them?”

She nods her head. “Positive! This is the only way that I know how to get rid of parasprites! My family and I tried everything when they first came to the rock farm, but only music got rid of them! I don’t know how or why, but it does!”

I place a hand on her shoulder. “And you’re sure you looked everywhere yesterday? You didn’t miss a hidden cache of instruments you keep around town or something?”

She giggles. “Why would I hide instruments around town, silly?”

I sigh. “I’ll take that as a no. Vinyl, please forgive me for what I’m about to do.” Spinning around, I draw the Ambassador and put two rounds through the glass, causing it to shatter to the ground. I motion to the door. “There, problem solved.”

“Um…”

I step into the shop. “Grab what we need and let’s go! I’ll pay for this shit later anyways! Search the ground floor, I’ll check upstairs!” Heading upstairs, I search the recording studio. Aha, a cymbal! And look at that, a harmonica too! Please let Pinkie find the—

“Found a flute!”

Perfect! “Got the cymbal and harmonica!” I practically bound down the steps. “So what now?”

She snatches the cymbal and harmonica from my hands, replacing them with a twirling baton. “Now I gotta play music to get the parasprites to follow me so I can lead them out of town!”

I raise an eyebrow. “And you expect me to believe you can play all these instruments yourself? And what’s the baton for?”

She giggles. “Of course I’m gonna play them myself! I’m the only pony I know of that can play this many instruments at once! And the baton is for leading me through town, silly!”

“Whatever. How soon can you—” A purple wave passes through the air, causing a shiver to run down my spine. I run over to the door and look out to see a parasprite eating a leaf on the ground. “Scratch that, it needs to be done now!” Why couldn’t Twilight have waited just a little bit longer?

“Way ahead of ya!”

I glance over my shoulder, only to see nothing. It’s like she disappeared. Music starts coming from down the road though, so stepping outside, I look towards the source. How in the world did Pinkie manage to not only slip outside, but also strap every single instrument to herself to create a one maned, or should I say pony, band? I shake my head. Focus on the problem now, not Pinkie.

Well, it seems to be working, as the parasprites are now following Pinkie in a line behind her, bouncing along to the beat of the music. Alright, time to lead these things away from the town. I nod my head along to the beat, marching in place. With my head held high, I wait until Pinkie nears me before marching to my left. We need to make absolutely sure we grab every single parasprite, which means a through sweep of the town. This… May take a while.

As we march through the streets, more and more parasprites join into our procession, making the entire thing look like a massive parade. Which, given that Celestia is visiting today, isn’t such a bad thing. I’m just glad we were able to lessen the damages to the town, if the minor destruction is anything to go by. I think we cleared the town, so it’s time to lead these bastards towards the Everfree. Oh, and look at that, Celestia’s chariot nearing the town. Oh, such wondrous timing today! As wear near the edge of the forest, I see the girls and Celestia watching us parade towards them. I really shouldn’t do this, but… Tossing the baton high into the air just as we pass them, I turn and flip the double bird to everyone present before catching the baton, all still in time with the beat. Rude of me, yes, but they deserve it for dissing Pinkie off without even giving her a chance. But on the other hand, Pinkie could have just explained what a parasprite was in the first place and everything would have been fine.

As we near the edge of the Everfree, Pinkie and I step off to the side as I point into the forest with the baton. Surprisingly, the parasprites continue moving into the forest instead of stopping, which is exactly what I had hoped would happen. Pinkie continues playing until the last parasprite passes us by into the Everfree proper. I hold my hand out towards Pinkie. “Don’t leave me hanging now.”

She returns the high five. “Go team Pinkie and Blake!” She gasps. “Team Blinkie! That’s so better than just saying team Pinkie and Blake because it’s shorter and it combines both of our names into one word and—”

I tap her on the shoulder. “Take a drink break or something, then how’s about you return those instruments, hmm?” I glance at the girls coming towards us. “I’ll handle the girls.”

“Okey Dokey!” She bounces away, the instruments rattling with each bounce.

“What was that?!”

I turn to the rest of the girls. “Oh, just us saving the day again, Twilight.”

“How’d you know them critters would respond ta music like that?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know why the parasprites respond to it, but maybe if you all would have listened to Pinkie instead of blowing her off, you’d know she has experience dealing with them.”

I notice a couple of raised eyebrows. “This was all Pinkie’s plan?” Rarity says.

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Pinkie asked for my help getting instruments and I agreed. I didn’t question it or ignore her, unlike some people.”

“But why didn’t Pinkie say something then? I didn’t know they were dangerous when I found the first one.”

I sigh and rub the bridge of my nose. “Look, I’ll admit that the plan wasn’t thoroughly explained, but remember who we’re talking about here. Pinkie means well, but she isn’t exactly savvy in explaining things to others. Sometimes, you just gotta take what she says at face value and roll with it.”

“So—”

I hold my hand up. “Let me finish here, Rainbow. On the same token, you are all at fault here. Pinkie came to you for help. Instead of listening to her or at least trying to help, you all blew her off just because what she was doing was strange. No matter how strange or unorthodox the source, at least have the decency to listen.”

The girls hang their heads. “I suppose we could have been a bit more open minded to Pinkie.”

“Oh, I hope she isn’t upset with us.”

I chuckle. “Mad? Nah, she’s fine. A little frustrated, but other than that, she’s still her normal self.”

“So, how bad are things in town?”

I shrug my shoulders. “In my opinion, not bad. Granted there’s some minor fixing to do, but nothing major. At least everything still looks decent for Celestia’s visit.”

Twilight looks towards Canterlot while rubbing the back of her head. “About that… Celestia had to reschedule for a later date. Apparently, something important is happening in Trottingham that requires her immediate attention.”

I raise an eyebrow. “So, you’re telling me she isn’t coming today, yet still came down here to tell you that? Does she not remember that she could have sent a letter through Spike?”

“That… Is a good point actually.”

I shake my head. “Whatever the case may be, it doesn’t matter at this point. We got time to rebuild and relax again before her visit.” Besides, gives me time to get together with Vinyl and plan our tour. Knowing her, I’m sure she can whip up the plans for a tour in a day or two.

“Um… I’d just like to say that I’m really sorry for putting Ponyville in danger. I didn’t know these…” Fluttershy glances at me.

“Parasprites.”

“Thank you. These parasprites would be so dangerous.”

Rainbow pats her shoulder. “Hey, don’t sweat it, Shy. You couldn’t have known in the first place.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah, you did nothing wrong. You found a creature and wanted to take care of it, plain and simple. At least nobody got hurt in the end, and isn’t that what matters?”

“Well, I do suppose you’re right, Blake, but I still feel awful about everything.”

“Well, if all is well with everypony, I do believe we should return to town and determine the extent of the damage ourselves.”

I raise an eyebrow. “What, you don’t believe me?”

“Not exactly, darling. It’s just that everypony has a different opinion.”

I roll my eyes. “Just be glad it isn’t worse, which it could have been if I hadn’t broken into Vinyl’s store.” I close my eyes and chuckle. “Heh, she’s gonna be pissed when she sees it.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold up. You broke into Vinyl’s store?”

I hold my hands out with the palms up. “Destruction of town, breaking and entering.” I raise my left hand up higher than my right. “Kinda higher up on my list of priorities at that point.” I turn and start walking away. “Besides, Pinkie heard me say I’ll pay for it all later, and I am nothing if not a man of my word.”

“But—”

“Doesn’t matter! See you later! Hey, keep an ear out for our tour coming up! Hope to see you all there!” As I wander away towards home, I glance at the ponies already fixing up the damages done. Man, I hope nothing happened to my place. Nearing it, the outside looks the same, but the inside remains to be seen.

Opening the door, I hear sounds of gunfire and explosions coming from the TV. Huh, I don’t remember leaving it on this morning. I smirk as I enter the living room, standing behind the couch watching Scootaloo as she plays the Gears of War Three multiplayer as Sonja lays beside her. “Ahem.”

Her head whips around while the game simultaneously pauses. She smiles as Sonja starts wagging her tail. “Heh, took you long enough.”

I cross my arms. “Aren’t you supposed to be in school now?”

She rolls her eyes. “Sheesh, give me some credit. We got out early because of those weird bug things flying around town and eating all the food.”

“So, your first thought was to run home and play video games?”

“Yeah, but it doesn't mean I didn’t help out along the way.” Her wings buzz. “You should have seen it! I was batting those things away from ponies left and right! It was so awesome!”

I chuckle and rub her head. “Well, I think my little hero needs something special tonight. What do you want to eat tonight? Say the word and I’ll make it or get it.”

She bats my hand away before tapping the back of the couch with a finger. She snaps her fingers. “Can we go out tonight for pizza?!”

I raise an eyebrow. “Does Ponyville have a pizza place?”

“Yeah! They make the best hay pizza’s around!”

Hmm… Pizza does sound good, minus the hay. Wonder if they’d do a supreme? I smile. “Pizza sounds like a good choice for tonight. Until then,” I vault over the couch to land beside her. I pat my lap, a sign for Sonja to crawl over and lay on it. I motion towards the TV with one hand while the other scratches Sonja behind her ears, “Let us see how much you have improved, young padawan.”

She smirks. “Heh, wait till you see me in action!” She unpauses the match. “I’m domin—”

“Boomshot.”

She tilts her head. “Huh?” Explosions draw her attention to the screen, watching as her character is blasted into little giblets. “Oh come on!”

Royal Guard Academy

“Permanent Vacation”

Royal Guard Academy

“Ugh. It's too early for Trixie to be up.”

I turn from looking out the train window and the land rushing by. I open my mouth, but Derpy beats me to saying anything. “It's only eight in the morning.”

“Still too early for Trixie. On a weekend of all days.”

I roll my eyes. “Gee, can't imagine how you are when you actually have to wake up and be on time to run a school.”

She glares and I can't help snickering. “Trixie can be punctual when she wants to be.”

I idly sip my coffee and think back on the concert itself, which went off without a hitch. Well, there was that snafu where Lilac was unable to get backstage, but intervention by Vinyl was able to clear that up in the end. After she was formally introduced to everyone else and semi over being star struck, she presented her notebook to me. After everyone else saw Lilac's sketches, I ushered her out of the room temporarily so the rest of us could discuss giving her a chance to design an album cover for us as a sort of trial run. Lilac jumped at the offer once we presented it to her. I had no reason to doubt that she wouldn't.

My mind also wanders back to when I had to go back to go over the homework.

After writing up some lyrics on the board, I turn around and place my hands on the desk. “Now, who wants to go first?” There's silence. “Come now, don't everyone speak up at once. Just share your thoughts and feelings about the songs. There's no right or wrong answers here. I just wanna hear what you all discovered. Oh, and be aware that these are all covers of songs from back home. I hope I brought out the right inflection and tone of the singer, but covers are always up for interpretation. A simple change in how it sounds could completely change the message.”

Someone clears their throat and stands up, a unicorn stallion it looks like. “Uh... Well, the first song, Echo. It's about being alone and hearing nothing but your own voice echoing back. The line of 'I call and I can hear you sing, but oh, it's only my echo' implies that. You want to hear something other than yourself.”

I nod my head. “A fair assumption to make. Anyone else?”

An Earth Pony stallion stands up. “Going off that, it's not just hearing your own voice, it's actively listening for another specific voice, somepony the singer knows.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And what gives you that idea?”

“Is... Is that not right?”

I shake my head. “I said there are no right or wrong answers here, and I mean that. Your answer is right to you, and that's what matters. I wanna know how you got your answer.”

The stallion nods his head. “Uh, the lines where somepony else is referenced. 'Anchored by your side', 'You would follow me silently with searchlights', and 'Your voice could save me' are just a few.”

I smile. “Correct. The singer is indeed referring to someone very specific.”

“But sir,” A unicorn mare stands up, “What about this pony makes them important here? What relation does this pony have to the singer? Are they a good friend? Family member?”

I nod my head. “And excellent question. Class, any other guesses?” There's varied answers, but most boil down to friend, lover, or parent. Once things go silent, I continue. “All valid guesses, but the honest answer is, only the singer knows. They likely left it open so that it can relate to everyone that hears it, not just a specific instance that happened to the singer. And it's a pretty good tactic. Allows the song to relate to more listeners.”

“If I can interrupt for a second.” I turn to Wind Song and motion for her to continue. “From what I can see and hear, this song is about loss and the journey that comes with it. Near the end, the music changes in tone to make it sound like you're yelling out for the pony to answer you, and you get no response, leaving you dejected.”

I laugh. “Didn't know you were a student too. But yes, that is an excellent observation, and correct too.”

Wind blushes. “Sorry, but it all just intrigued me. I couldn't help analyzing it.”

“Nah, don't worry about it. It's important to discuss what you think and discover, so that others may build off that or continue their own discussions. Speaking of... Class? Anything else to add?”

There's nothing but silence, so I continue. “Well, all acceptable answers, but you all wanna know what I think? I think this song is about someone who had a very treasured partner with them. The singer's own ego eventually drove away this partner, and no matter what the singer did or who was there for the singer, they just wanted their partner back. And when they couldn't find them, or the partner didn't want to come back, the singer fell deeper into their depression and struggled to the point that they couldn’t be saved.” I shrug my shoulders. “But that's just my interpretation of it.”

A hand goes up. “Sir, is that the correct answer?”

I smirk. “Let me tell you all something since you're obviously worried about having the right answer. I don't care what you wrote down, all I care about is that you wrote something about the lyrics. There is no right or wrong here. Music, and the arts in general, are about personal expression and belief. As such, I wanted this assignment to be about what you learned from the lyrics. Not what I think, not what others think, what YOU think.”

There's a couple of wide eyes. “That got your attention, didn't it? Now that you know what this lesson is about, let's move on.” I start writing on the chalkboard the next song.

“Hey, Equestria to Blake.” I blink and shake my head.

“Sorry, what's up?”

“As I was asking, have you any plans for tonight?”

“Didn't plan that far ahead actually. I can't predict what the Princesses want with us, so no use trying to plan for something that might not happen.” I take a sip of coffee. “Why do you ask, anyway?”

“Oh, no particular reason. Trixie just wanted to enjoy dinner in Canterlot with her team since we never get to do anything together. But... I guess I'll have to enjoy it by myself.”

“She does have a point. When was the last time the three of us did something together, outside of work?”

I open my mouth, but pause as nothing comes to mind. Have we really done nothing together where it was just the three of us? “You... Are correct. We haven't done anything together. Alright, if there's nothing pertinent going on, I'll join you tonight.”

Trixie nods her head. “As expected. Uh... One teensy little detail though. Where should we go?”

“Well, I mean, Donut Joe's is always a good spot. There's also that club Luna and I took Twilight to. Can't remember the name of it though. Beyond that, I haven't really had a chance to explore. You'd be better off asking Twilight or Spike for places.”

“We could always check the tour books at the station when we arrive.”

I nod my head. “Always an option, though I prefer to just wander and pick whatever place strikes my fancy. Those places in the tour books usually pay handsomely to promote, but don’t have the quality to back it up. But really, I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's just head to the castle and figure out what's going on before getting any more of our hopes up.”

We pull into the Canterlot station shortly after and disembark. As per Luna's instructions, I did pack whatever essentials I needed for a week-long stay at the Castle, and it looks like Derpy and Trixie did too with the couple of bags they have.

Derpy looks around and scratches her head. “Uh... Isn't there supposed to be a carriage or something for us?”

Trixie looks around as well before shrugging. “Doesn't seem like it. No matter, I'm used to hauling my wagon around, so some luggage is nothing for one such as I.”

I can't suppress a chuckle. “So, you moonlight as a porter now? Being a headmare not enough?”

“You know what Trixie meant!”

I heft my bags up and pat Trixie on the shoulder as I walk by. “Right, just messing with ya. Come now, let's get to the castle.”

As we walk, I notice that most of the various ponies wandering around are of the upper class judging by their appearance and choice of outfit alone. They, for the most part, ignore us. There are some of what I would describe as the middle class being a lot more open and inviting, offering polite greetings if we pass them. As we near what must be a fancy boutique, I spot two familiar faces leaving it as the stallion locks eyes with me. “Ah, so wonderful to see you again, Blake.”

I stop and offer a polite nod. “You're looking spiffy as always, Fancy. And absolutely stunning as always, Fleur.”

He takes off his monocle and dusts it with a white handkerchief he produces from his pocket. “And who might your companions be?” He asks as he puts his monocle back on.

“Ah, forgive my manners. Fancy, Fleur, this is Trixie Lulamoon and Derpy Hooves. Trixie, Derpy, this is Fancy Pants and Fleur De Lis.” I motion to each person in turn as polite greetings are exchanged.

“So, what brings you to our fine city today?” Fleur asks.

“Oh, business at the castle. Official summons and all that.” Derpy says.

Trixie nudges Derpy. “Should you really be telling everypony the reason we're here?”

“What? It's not like we were sworn to secrecy.”

“She has a point, Trixie. We weren't told to keep quiet, but then again, Trixie is right to a point.”

Fancy chuckles. “Ah, secrets of the state and all that. By all means, don't let us keep you any longer. But do contact us at some point. Fleur and I would absolutely love to treat you with a night out in our fair city.”

“What about tonight then?” Derpy and I turn to Trixie and raise an eyebrow. “What? We were just talking about finding a place to eat tonight!”

“And we also said we might not have any free time!”

“If I may...” Fleur sorta steps between us. “Perhaps you should contact us once this matter is resolved.”

“How should we contact you then?” Derpy asks the question before I can say it.

“Being part of the nobility means frequent dealings with the castle. As such, there is a dedicated courier system. Just have them contact us and we shall reply posthaste.”

I nod my head. “Couriers in the castle, got it.”

“Dear, the time.”

Fancy pulls out a pocket watch and opens it. “Ah, yes. Thank you dear. Terribly sorry, but we must be off. Prior engagements and what not. We look forward to hearing from you.”

“And thank you for the offer.”

With a slight bow and curtsy, Fancy and Fleur make their way down the street while we continue on towards the castle.

“You never told Trixie you were in the good graces of nobility.”

I shake my head. “Never considered I was. I only met Fancy and Fleur in passing at Twilight's birthday. They complimented me on starting my rise in the music world, we exchanged some pleasant words, and that was it.”

“So you think they're schmoozing up to you just so they can flaunt it to the other nobles?”

I shake my head. “Doubtful. They both seem genuinely friendly to anyone and don't care what social status you are.” I pause and raise an eyebrow. “Did I never tell you what happened on Twilight's birthday?”

“This is the first time Trixie is hearing of it.”

“I don't think I ever heard you mention it before.”

My retelling of that event lasts us to the castle, where there are already some guards and maid staff on standby. The maids take our bags from us before the guards escort us directly to the throne room doors. With a salute to their comrades outside the door, the ones who escorted us move back down the hall. We're not made to wait long as they push open the doors. “The princesses will see you now.”

We stride into the throne room as two guards push it shut once we're past the threshold. A few guards line the walls, while two stand at the base of the stairs leading up to the throne. Celestia is casually seated in her throne, while Luna seems to be on the edge of hers.

We stop short of the stairs and look up at the princesses. “You requested us, your majesties?”

Celestia stands up from the throne and smiles. “Please, no need to be formal. We're all casually acquainted enough for a first name basis here. Agreed, Luna?”

“Blake was one of the first to help with my re-integration into modern Equestria. I'd say we're more than just casual acquaintances. And in the short time I've spent with them, the same can be said of Trixie and Derpy.”

“So, Trixie is on a first name basis with the princesses now?” I can't see her, but I envision her tilting her head back and smirking. “It doesn't come as a surprise though. Trixie always knew the princesses would want to know her.”

“Trixie, your ego is showing again.” Derpy says.

“Shh... Let Trixie have this.”

I can't help but smirk and roll my eyes. “Anyway, what can we do for you, Celestia and Luna? It's obviously not an emergency.”

Luna nods her head. “And you are correct. Sister and I have discussed this at great length, and we feel that you should train with the royal guards.”

I raise an eyebrow. “So basically take an entrance exam? Aren't we already part of the guard? Like an offshoot branch or something? That was the whole point of calling us ghosts.”

“You three have already passed the entrance exam by saving the Elements from the Diamond Dogs. We feel that more than qualifies you to skip the standard exam and be accepted right away, as you were.” Celestia says.

“Think of it more like a... What's the word? Ah, yes, assessment test.” Luna says.

“Something to gauge what we're best at?” Derpy asks.

“And any areas of potential improvement.”

“Hmph, Trixie needs no such improvement... But she supposes it wouldn't hurt to see where her faults are. Trixie will take this test.”

“Like you had a choice? It's a direct order that we're doing this.”

“Besides, it's probably best we take this.” Derpy looks at the floor and kicks her hoof. “I dunno about you guys, but I'm not the best at fighting. I definitely need this.”

I nod my head. “There's your answer. When do we start training?”

“On the dawn of tomorrow. We've already made arrangements to have you with some of our newest recruits.”

Luna steps forward. “Although you shall have your own special instructor personally selected by me.”

Celestia smiles and sits back down in her throne. “Until we summon for you tomorrow, consider this a day of respite and enjoy yourselves, my little ponies”

Trixie nudges me. “See? We have time to enjoy ourselves today.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” I turn back to Luna and Celestia. “Well, I do have two favors to ask of you both.”

“Ask, and we shall do what we can.”

“First, I heard about a courier system here in the castle. I need to use it to get a hold of Fancy Pants.”

Celestia smiles. “Ah, yes. Mister Pants loves sharing the knowledge of that system with guests. Raven?” A unicorn mare with a very light gray coat, almost white I'd argue, with her dark brown mane in a high updo steps out from behind the throne. “I suppose introductions are in order. Blake, Trixie, Derpy, this is my personal retainer, Raven Inkwell. Raven, Blake Quinter, Trixie Lulamoon, and Derpy Hooves.”

I nod my head. “A pleasure, Raven.”

“Likewise.”

Celestia nods her head. “Please dictate whatever it is you want to say, and Raven here will send it once our business is concluded.”

I clear my throat. “Fancy Pants and Fleur. As you can guess, I have found the courier system you have spoken of. Thank you again for sharing your knowledge of it. As for your kind offer of dinner, we are excited to say that yes, we can attend tonight. I only ask that wherever you decide to take us can cater to my more carnivorous diet. We eagerly await your response. Yours, Blake, Trixie, and Derpy.”

Celestia smirks. “Ah, one of Fancy's special dinner invitations? He is fond of those. I can assure you that he will receive it right away.”

“From what I've learned since my return and my few dealings with him, Fancy is one of the most amicable nobles in Canterlot, and by far our favorite.” Luna raises an eyebrow. “I trust this doesn't leave the room.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“I'm not saying anything.”

“Trixie would never misplace the trust of a princess.”

Celestia turns her head towards Luna, and I catch the beginning of a smirk. “Sister, perhaps they'd agree to a Pinkie Promise that Twilight told us about?”

“Yes, the apparently sacred pact that nopony has ever broken.”

I shrug my shoulders. “If that is what you wish... Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Trixie and Derpy recite the words and mimic the motions with me.

There's a pause from the princesses. “Is that all there is?”

I raise an eyebrow. “What were you expecting? Fireworks, fanfare, bunch of confetti?”

“This is a promise created by Miss Pie, so forgive us if we expected a bit more of her flair to it.”

“Touche. But no, that's it.”

“A bit disappointing, but I suppose we shouldn't have expected much.”

I sigh and shake my head. “You do not know the power this promise holds, and won't know till you make your own Pinkie Promise. Regardless, there is something else I must ask of Luna.” At her nod, I continue. “We'll need to add another feature to our side project.”

Celestia smiles. “Ah, your gem communication project.” At my raised eyebrow, she continues. “Luna has told me of it, and I offer my assistance should you ever require it.”

“And what is this feature we forgot?”

“A way to basically store and playback any messages not received. There will be times when we are unable to respond or otherwise preoccupied.”

Luna nods her head. “Leave the gems with me and I shall have it working by the time the moon rises.”

I shrug. “Okay then.” We each hold out our gems as Luna takes them in her magic and floats them over to her.”

“If your business is now concluded with us, we shall have some of the staff show you to your rooms. After that, you are free to do as you please for the rest of the day.”

“Trixie, Derpy? Anything you wanna ask?”

“Not at this particular time.”

“I'm good.”

“Then we are indeed finished.” I bow. “Till you request our presence again.” The guards open the doors for us wherein there is already a maid with white hair and slate colored skin tone waiting.

The maid curtsies. “Greetings. My name is Noelle. The princesses have assigned me as your personal maid for your stay. If you would please follow me to your rooms.” As she leads us through the multiple halls and stairwells, I do my best to remember any detail to help me navigate back. When the maid finally stops in front of three doors, I feel semi confident I could make my way back without help. “Miss Hooves and Lulamoon, your rooms are on the left. Mister Blake, your room is on the right.” She turns around to face us. “Is there anything else you require of me? Please do not hesitate to ask.”

“Yes, how is Trixie supposed to signal for your assistance?”

“Oh, is this your first time staying in the castle? I was made to believe you had stayed with us before.”

“Yes, this is Trixie's first time.”

“Yeah, this is the first time I've stayed in the castle... Or anywhere other than Ponyville or Cloudsdale.”

“I gotta admit, this is the first time staying in the castle too. Aside from infirmary, that is.” Trixie and Derpy look at me. “What?”

“You said before you've stayed in the castle.”

“Actually inside it, no. I was in Twilight's old tower last time. Was pretty much left to my own devices up there. Actually a decent and well established place now that I think about it.”

“Well, that's not the same as staying in the castle, is it?”

I shrug. “Eh, semantics. Anyway,” I nod to Noelle, “Please show us how to call for you.”

“Very well. If you'd please follow me for a short demonstration.” She holds open the door to what is apparently my room as the rest of us step inside.

This is the castle, so I shouldn't be surprised at the amount of luxurious furniture, but damn if it's not impressive. Trixie lets out a whistle. “What Trixie wouldn't give to live here.”

Noelle giggles. “Only the best for our guests. If you'd like, I can get a detailed listing of everything and where to acquire them?”

Derpy wanders over and runs a hand along a vanity. “I wouldn't mind owning something like this.”

“Trixie also has her eye on some choice pieces as well.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Trixie, you live in a wagon parked outside my house.”

“Trixie can settle down eventually.”

I roll my eyes. “Thanks for the offer, Noelle, but I'm not in the market for furniture anytime soon.”

“That's alright, but should you change your mind, please do not hesitate to ask. Miss Hooves and Lulamoon, I shall have those lists for you shortly. Now, if I could have your attention please.” She walks around us and motions towards a cord hanging from a bell beside the door. “Simply ring this bell and I will arrive as swiftly as possible.”

“That's it?”

“Yeah, seems kind of... lackluster when compared to the rest of the castle.”

“While that may be true, it has been deemed as one of the most efficient ways to summon staff. It is also a familiar and easily understandable concept to a sizable portion of our foreign guests.”

“Yeah, but, how are you going to hear a bell ringing if you're on the other side of the castle?”

“No need to worry about that. Everything is enchanted so that no matter where we are in the castle, we shall hear your ring for assistance.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, I can't complain about a system that works. I've seen a fair share that are just downright asinine.”

“Will there be anything else?”

“Trixie requires nothing more.”

“I'm good. Derpy?”

“Think I'm good for now.”

Noelle curtsies. “Then Miss Hooves and Lulamoon, please allow me to show you to your rooms.”

“Hey, I'll get ahold of you two once I hear back from Fancy Pants, alright?”

“Sounds good.”

“Trixie will wait in comfort till then.

With that, they leave me alone for the time being while I unpack everything in short order. With that done, I pull out my guitar and start strumming lines for songs I potentially wanna put on an album. I get so lost into my own inner focus that I just barely register a knock on the door. “Yeah, who's there?”

“It's Noelle, sir. May I come in?”

“Absolutely.” She opens the door and steps inside. “What's going on? And please, no need to call me sir. Just call me by my name.”

“Very well, Blake.” She presents a scroll. “I have a message here from Mister Pants for you.”

I take the scroll and unroll it. Quick glance though shows that Fancy has already reserved a table for us at someplace called The Crown at six and that he shall have a carriage waiting for us outside the castle thirty minutes prior to our reservation. Quick glance at a clock confirms that's in four hours. I then roll the scroll up and stuff it into a suitcase. “Thank you, Noelle.”

“Of course. Is there anything else you need?”

I shake my head. “Not at the moment. You're dismissed.”

She curtsies. “As you wish.”

It's as she's turning to the door that an idea strikes me. “Actually, Noelle?”

“Yes?”

“Would you mind staying and chatting for a bit?”

“With me? Nopony has really asked me this before. Surely there must be more interesting conversation partners.”

“Nonsense. Everyone is interesting, and I can't explain it, but I've taken a liking to you. It's like you got this... Presence that just screams talk to me.”

She puts a finger to her chin and stares at the floor to her left. “Oh... I'm not sure. If I stay, I'll be behind on everything else that needs done.”

“Everyone needs a break. Surely you're not the only maid in the castle that can handle everything that needs done?”

“Well, yes, but it'd be unfair to them if they have to take over from me, even for a second.”

“Noelle, please. Just for a little bit. No one will fault you for entertaining a guest.”

“Hmm...” She sighs, but smiles and clasps her hands in front of her. “Well, alright. I'll stay, but only for a little bit.”

“That's all I ask. Have a seat if you want.” She sits down on the end of the bed, being extra careful to not ruffle her outfit too much. “Now, why don't we start with where you were born?”

“Certainly. I was born in a lovely little town called Hollow Shades.”

I raise an eyebrow. “With a name like Hollow Shades, it doesn't sound lovely. Makes me think dark and gloomy, maybe nestled in the middle of a swamp, dimly lit by torches and the occasional lantern. And I can’t imagine it’s densely populated. Er… No offense if that’s not true.”

“Not at all. You wouldn’t be the first to make that assumption, but it's actually very well lit and happily populated. Though I never did figure out why it's called Hollow Shades. Perhaps the area used to be densely populated with trees?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, who knows.” I pause for a second. I'm not sure if asking someone what their Cutie Mark is is taboo or not, and I'm frankly surprised I didn't think of it sooner, so I'll skip that question. “So, was being a part of the staff at the castle your dream?”

She clasps her hands and seems to fidget a little. “Well, yes and no.”

“Something wrong?”

She meets my eyes for a second before looking at the floor. “I'd be lying if I said this was my dream. Now, don't get me wrong, I love being a maid for the crown. But it wasn't my first choice.”

“And what was your dream?”

“Why, to be a member of the royal guards.”

I nod my head. “A respectable position. So why aren't you?”

“The practical exam. I've failed every time.”

“Ah, the on the field training, the combat, the drills, all that? Yes, I can see how that'd be hard and grueling.”

She shakes her head. “It's not that. I can remember all the books, all the techniques, all the formations. If it's written down, I can remember it. But when I get on the field, I get so nervous that I practically forget everything and end up failing.”

“Well, I can offer help as needed, though I am far from an expert in the matter.”

“Oh, I couldn't possibly ask you for help. This is something I must face myself. I'm sure I'll eventually succeed. With enough time and dedication, that is.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Suit yourself. I've found that persistence does pay off in the end. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll see you wearing that fancy armor and defending the crown.”

We're silent for a bit, but I do catch Noelle slightly wringing her hands together, but don't bring attention to it. “Blake? Forgive me for asking, but I'd like to know a bit more about you. We as staff are given just enough info about our guests to make them comfortable, but nothing else. And, well, you're the first who's taken interest in us, so it's only fair I do the same.”

I smile. “Sure, what do you wanna know?”

We spend some time talking about myself, going through the basic questions like birthplace and favorite things, before Noelle reminds herself that she has duties that she must get back to. She apologizes as she leaves, but I assure her that I understand and won't hold her up any longer.

“Oh, and Noelle? Please inform Trixie and Derpy that Fancy Pants will have a carriage for us at five thirty and to be ready.”

She curtsies. “As you wish.” She shuts the door behind her and I'm once again left alone to myself.

With a shrug, I go back to playing for some time, before moving on to lite spell casting. Simple things like balls of light, illusions, stasis, that sort of stuff. Anything to bide my time till we have to leave. And anything to prepare for this test that is planned. I don't expect it to be anything other than grueling. Then again, the guards were never really shown to be competent at their jobs... Maybe I'm setting my expectations too high. Regardless, best to not go in unprepared.

“Hey, are you ready yet? Trixie does not want to be late!”

I shake my head and check the time. Seems I killed enough time. “Yeah, I'm ready. Be right there.” Jeeze, it seems like she's impatient. Not like we'll earn Fancy's scorn if we're a couple of minutes late. Oh well, best to not dwell on that. Better enjoy tonight before the supposed hell tomorrow.