The Idea Bin

I watched her as I always did, the dark of the room doing nothin to deter me from the nightly vigil I had carried out for over a year now. She lay there in her bed, the sheets kicked away in the summer heat. I could see the faint light of the moon washing over her body, illuminating her form, drawing my eyes and bringing her curves into greater focus. My eyes swept over her, observing the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed her delicate breaths, moving to her face where a stray lock of mane fell over her muzzle, fluttering lightly as she exhales.

She lay there in the bed, and yet here I stood, in the corner of the room, only watching. I sighed, quietly so as not to disturb her, I would hate to intrude upon her sleep, she looks so peaceful. A slight twitch of her hoof draws my attention, my breath catching in my throat, but I quickly calm down when she makes no further moves.

I feel ashamed, sitting here, watching her. A part of me wants to slink away into the shadows, to hide somewhere her radiance would never find me. But the greater part of me screams to stay put, to keep my eyes glued onto her near motionless form. She lies there in the bed while I stand in the corner, watching her like every night before this one, wishing, longing for the day when I too could lie in the bed, to feel the warmth of her fur, feel the tickle of her breath, and perhaps… she would feel something from me too.

I turn my gaze to the floor, suppressing another sigh. How long could I continue this? Sitting, watching, wishing. How long before I accepted the truth? That what I wanted didn’t matter, that what I felt didn’t matter. In the end, I was to her, and always would be a…

I clench my eyelids shut, unable to finish the thought, unable to even think the word. After a moment, my self-pitying passes and I open my eyes once more and allow myself to look at her. She was… so perfect, it was undeniable. How I was the only one able to see it was a mystery. In a rare moment of bravery I thought briefly of swallowing my fears and telling her how I truly felt, but the moment passed quickly. It wouldn’t be the first time I tried, I would never be able to make her understand, it was as if we were speaking two entirely different languages.

Another movement caught my gaze, this one more defined as her whole body rolled over slightly so that she was facing me. What was more, this movement was accompanied by a soft groan and the twitching of eyelids. I froze, paralysed, my thoughts travelling at a million miles per hour. Should I hide? Did I even have time? She couldn’t see me standing here watching her sleep, she would think I was some kind of freak, a pervert!

I quickly spotted the wardrobe, it seemed to be my best bet, but as I took the first step towards it I saw her eyelids crack open ever so slightly. Again I froze, but this time, a strange feeling overcame me, and one thought rang true in my head. What if… she did see me? What if she understood? My heart was hammering in my chest, but I refused to move, even as her eyes opened slightly wider and she began looking directly at me.

There she was, lying in the bed, staring straight at me as I stood in the corner, but I didn’t mind, because I didn’t want to be the one standing in the corner anymore.

“Oh, hi Gummy,” Pinkie Pie said, her voice still chipper if a little wearier than usual. “I thought you’d be in bed by now.”

I didn’t say anything, what could I say? What should I say?

“Are you watching over me while I sleep?” Pinkie asked with a little yawn that made my heart flutter. “You’re so sweet.”

I felt my heart stop dead in my chest as she uttered those words. I continued to stare even as she closed her eyes once more and settled back into sleep.

“I’m really lucky to have a pet like you,” she murmured softly as she drifted off.

Soon her breathing regulated and her chest began its steady rhythm of rising and falling, all the while I just stared at her, my lips curling upwards into an unmistakable grin. There she lay in the bed, fast asleep while I stood in the corner, watching her as I always had, but something had changed, for the first time in a long time I felt hopeful, truly hopeful.

“Soon,” I whispered to her sleeping form. “Soon my love.”