The Idea Bin

by Reeve

Rating: teen
Tags: Random
Length: 7509

Many stories, few words, a decent amount of imagination, very little sanity, and too much free time.

Various short stories that I couldn't be arsed turning into full stories thought would make nice one shots, all less than 1000 words… [size=0.5em]mostly[/size]

Inspired by gallagsp the corgi's story(/stories) Itty-Bitty Bite Sized Stories.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-13 22:02:40 UTC

Dash X

It was something to be relished, the feel of the steering wheel in her hooves, the rush of air blowing through her mane. Rainbow Dash would have given anything to be able to slam her hoof down on the accelerator and allow her custom made race car to reach its peak speed, to sit back and watch as the world around her became nothing more than a blur, until all that existed was the finish line and her ripping a crevice in the road behind her as she sped towards it.

She wanted to be able to do that, but she had learned the hard way what happened when she picked up too much speed on this particular course. The Manehattan track was notorious for its sharp corners and hairpin curves, and they had resulted in her most crushing defeat yet, one she may never be able to live down.

Not this time though, never let it be said that Rainbow Dash didn’t learn from her mistakes. What was the old saying? Slow and steady wins the race? She had never been a fan of that particular moral before, but she was taking it to heart this time as she carefully monitored her speed, rounding each corner with absolute precision. She allowed herself a grin, she had this one in the bag, at least she did until…

“Hey Dashie!” Pinkie Pie’s voice cried as she overtook Rainbow, speeding around the corner with ease and quickly accelerating ahead.

Rainbow’s eyes widened in shock for a fraction of a second. How could anypony make that turn so fast without crashing?

“Only Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow muttered darkly as her eyes flickered to the large red button to the right of her steering wheel.

She had picked up that crate a while back and had been saving what was inside for a moment just like this. Taking the wheel in one hoof, she moved her now free one across and slammed the button three times in quick succession. Three missiles fired from her car bonnet, jetting forward straight for Pinkie Pie’s candy themed car, or more specifically, her burning hot tail pipes.

Pinkie’s car was launched into the air from the impact of the first missile, before the next two collided with her keeping her cushioned in the air just long enough for Dash to speed past her. Her grin returning, she rounded the last corner onto the final stretch of mercifully straight road, the finish line shining like a beacon at the very end. With reckless abandon, she stomped down on the accelerator and sped straight to victory, that was the plan at least.

In retrospect, if she hadn’t been so focused on the finish line she might have noticed the trap Pinkie had left during the last lap. As it was however, she didn’t notice the puddle of soap, not until she had driven straight through it. She didn’t even have time to register that something was wrong before her car began spinning uncontrollably. All around her the world became a blur, but not like in her fantasy, she couldn’t even tell which way the finish line was now.

Dash gritted her teeth and swore internally, if she hadn’t been going so fast… If she had of looked at the road… Praying that Pinkie was still far enough behind that she could salvage this, Dash took her hoof away from the accelerator completely before slamming it onto the brake. Her car came to a screeching, spinning stop, and as Dash’s vision began to return to normal she made out the finish line mere inches ahead of where her car had stopped.

She was even pointing in the right direction, all she had to do was start up and drive forward one metre and she would have won. But in typically cruel fashion, the universe chose that moment to allow Pinkie Pie to return, overtaking Rainbow Dash once again and claiming victory for herself.

Dash’s head fell forward, slamming into her steering wheel causing her horn to blare out across the street. She was lucky this had only been a friendly match, if it was the real thing she’d be out of the running and she could kiss that trophy goodbye… as well as any hopes she had of winning back Scootaloo’s love from that snake Lightning Dust.

Soon

I watched her as I always did, the dark of the room doing nothin to deter me from the nightly vigil I had carried out for over a year now. She lay there in her bed, the sheets kicked away in the summer heat. I could see the faint light of the moon washing over her body, illuminating her form, drawing my eyes and bringing her curves into greater focus. My eyes swept over her, observing the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed her delicate breaths, moving to her face where a stray lock of mane fell over her muzzle, fluttering lightly as she exhales.

She lay there in the bed, and yet here I stood, in the corner of the room, only watching. I sighed, quietly so as not to disturb her, I would hate to intrude upon her sleep, she looks so peaceful. A slight twitch of her hoof draws my attention, my breath catching in my throat, but I quickly calm down when she makes no further moves.

I feel ashamed, sitting here, watching her. A part of me wants to slink away into the shadows, to hide somewhere her radiance would never find me. But the greater part of me screams to stay put, to keep my eyes glued onto her near motionless form. She lies there in the bed while I stand in the corner, watching her like every night before this one, wishing, longing for the day when I too could lie in the bed, to feel the warmth of her fur, feel the tickle of her breath, and perhaps… she would feel something from me too.

I turn my gaze to the floor, suppressing another sigh. How long could I continue this? Sitting, watching, wishing. How long before I accepted the truth? That what I wanted didn’t matter, that what I felt didn’t matter. In the end, I was to her, and always would be a…

I clench my eyelids shut, unable to finish the thought, unable to even think the word. After a moment, my self-pitying passes and I open my eyes once more and allow myself to look at her. She was… so perfect, it was undeniable. How I was the only one able to see it was a mystery. In a rare moment of bravery I thought briefly of swallowing my fears and telling her how I truly felt, but the moment passed quickly. It wouldn’t be the first time I tried, I would never be able to make her understand, it was as if we were speaking two entirely different languages.

Another movement caught my gaze, this one more defined as her whole body rolled over slightly so that she was facing me. What was more, this movement was accompanied by a soft groan and the twitching of eyelids. I froze, paralysed, my thoughts travelling at a million miles per hour. Should I hide? Did I even have time? She couldn’t see me standing here watching her sleep, she would think I was some kind of freak, a pervert!

I quickly spotted the wardrobe, it seemed to be my best bet, but as I took the first step towards it I saw her eyelids crack open ever so slightly. Again I froze, but this time, a strange feeling overcame me, and one thought rang true in my head. What if… she did see me? What if she understood? My heart was hammering in my chest, but I refused to move, even as her eyes opened slightly wider and she began looking directly at me.

There she was, lying in the bed, staring straight at me as I stood in the corner, but I didn’t mind, because I didn’t want to be the one standing in the corner anymore.

“Oh, hi Gummy,” Pinkie Pie said, her voice still chipper if a little wearier than usual. “I thought you’d be in bed by now.”

I didn’t say anything, what could I say? What should I say?

“Are you watching over me while I sleep?” Pinkie asked with a little yawn that made my heart flutter. “You’re so sweet.”

I felt my heart stop dead in my chest as she uttered those words. I continued to stare even as she closed her eyes once more and settled back into sleep.

“I’m really lucky to have a pet like you,” she murmured softly as she drifted off.

Soon her breathing regulated and her chest began its steady rhythm of rising and falling, all the while I just stared at her, my lips curling upwards into an unmistakable grin. There she lay in the bed, fast asleep while I stood in the corner, watching her as I always had, but something had changed, for the first time in a long time I felt hopeful, truly hopeful.

“Soon,” I whispered to her sleeping form. “Soon my love.”

Five Nights At Sugarcube Corner

The small office was filled with the drawn out sound of slurping, followed shortly by the clink of a mug on the table surface as Carrot Cake finished his third cup of coffee. Licking his lips, he turned back to the monitor set up in front of him. Plenty of ponies would be a bit confused as to why a small town bakery would need such levels of security, let alone someone watching it all night, but Carrot Cake was never one to take the safety of his family, home and business lightly.

Pressing the power button, the screen flickered into life, showing a fuzzy greyscale image of the empty kitchen. He waited a moment while the camera panned between the different windows before switching to the next camera. The main shop was clear, so was the back room. Another flick of the switch showed his loving wife lying in bed, the loud snores making it obvious she was asleep. Carrot Cake chuckled to himself before flicking the switch again, showing him the sleeping forms of his children.

He could have watched them for hours, and indeed very well might have. When he finally snapped back to reality, he reluctantly dragged himself away from watching his children slumbering and flicked the switch once more.

Carrot immediately noticed something was wrong when the screen flickered into focus after a brief moment of static, showing a very empty bed in Pinkie Pie’s bedroom, the covers tossed aside while the lodger was nowhere to be seen.

Carrot Cake sprang ramrod straight, quickly flickering through the different cameras, searching for where the mare had gone to. It didn’t take long, when the image of the upstairs landing appeared, he saw Pinkie standing as still as a statue, staring up at the camera, an eerie grin plastered over her face. Carrot Cake wasn’t too disturbed, Pinkie was probably just going to the toilet, and she was just staring at the camera because…

Carrot Cake gulped slightly, he was sure it was just Pinkie being her odd self, but still… He would watch her closely anyway. A few minutes passed and Pinkie still hadn’t moved from her spot in the upstairs hall, still hadn’t stopped smiling up at him, she hadn’t even blinked. Carrot Cake was starting to get very worried, and almost stood up to go check on her, when the screen began shaking. Carrot didn’t have time to react before the image was reduced to nothing more than a fuzzy sea of pixels.

Cursing under his breath, he quickly turned the monitor off and on again, annoyed that he had forgotten to watch how much power he was using. After several tense seconds the screen came to life once more and revealed the upstairs landing, only now it was deserted. Sweating slightly, Carrot began cycling through the cameras, searching for where Pinkie had disappeared to. She wasn’t in her bedroom, she wasn’t in the bathroom, she wasn’t even in the kitchen getting a snack from the fridge.

As Carrot Cake confirmed that she was nowhere to be found, he began to feel a creeping sensation prickling at the back of his neck. Turning slowly from the monitor, he stared at the open doorway, into the dark hallway beyond. Hoof shaking, he reached across the table to the light switch taking a breath and holding it before flicking the switch.

Pinkie stood right outside the door, her smile threatening to divide her face in two with how wide it was stretched. Carrot Cake screamed like a filly before slamming his hoof down on the door control, causing a heavy bulkhead to slam closed in Pinkie’s face. Carrot Cake laid splayed out in his chair, his breathing quick and terrified. Eventually he took back control of his shaking body and switched the hall light back on with a trembling hoof.

Pinkie was gone. Looking back at the monitor, Carrot saw her standing in her bedroom, still staring up at the camera with that grin. Turning off the monitor, Carrot Cake rubbed his tired eyes before standing up and turning to face the opposite side of the room where a second Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness sat, still in its pristine glory.

“Not this time,” Carrot Cake whispered, looking at the four tier cake. “Not this time.”

Alive

It’s amazing how one tiny mistake can reshape the course of history, a mistake that would seem insignificant, even to the pony responsible, a simple secretary for Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Even when the mistake was later realised, could they have begun to comprehend what had been set in motion. Unlikely, after all, what real difference could it make having one filly take her entrance exam a few minutes earlier than another one?

Trixie chewed her lower lip nervously as she waited outside the door to the lecture theatre where her entrance exam would take place. A cursory glance behind her showed several other fillies and colts waiting with their parents, all looking as bad as she felt. Directly behind her was a lavender filly who seemed particularly panicky, even while her parents tried fruitless to assure her it would all be okay.

Looking up at her own father, Trixie was unsurprised to see him looking incredibly bored. She stared down at her hooves, she hadn’t expected him to be excited for her, but still… this was a really big day for her.

The door opened and a pony stepped out with a clip board. Trixie gulped as her name was called before quickly being ushered into the lecture theatre, her father shuffling in behind her. The room was big, bigger than any room she had ever been in, and there, looming over her were the judging panel. They didn’t say a word to her, simply stared, as if they were trying to read her mind simply by piercing into it with their eyes.

The squeaking of a trolley drew her gaze to the same pony with the clip board who was now wheeling in a wooden cart with a purple egg of some kind. Trixie looked up at the judges again, expecting them to deliver some kind of instructions, but none came. Biting the bullet, Trixie walked over to the cart, her eyes navigating to a crudely drawn image of a dragon bursting forth from the egg.

Was Trixie expected to hatch a dragon egg?! She didn’t know a thing about dragons, she never studied this, she never knew she had to!

She cast another frightened glance at the judges, but they didn’t look any more likely to offer her advice than before, if anything they seemed to be getting impatient. Trixie had to do something or she would blow this chance. Turning back to the egg she began charging up her horn, no idea what exactly she was going to do, but she figured attempting something would be better than standing there petrified.

Spell after spell was cast to no avail, Trixie tried pouring magic into the egg, tried coaxing a response from it, but everything ended in failure. Her head was aching, her eyes clenched shut and she attempted to pump out the last of her energy, until her horn fizzled and she collapsed to the ground utterly drained. Raising her now incredibly heavy head, she saw the judges watching her half expectantly, half indifferent.

She turned to her father, hoping beyond hope that in her moment of need he would be there to offer her a friendly face, give her the strength to keep going, to know that if he believed in her, she could believe in herself… But he wasn’t even looking at her. His head was turned away, a faint look of disgust visible. Trixie bowed her head to the floor, closing her eyes so the judges wouldn’t see her cry before letting out a small whisper.

“I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

Her statement was quickly followed by the sound of scratching quills. She had failed, her one chance at being accepted into Celestia’s school, her one chance at showing her father she wasn’t a failure…

Trixie’s eyes snapped open as she, the lecture theatre and the entire tower were hit by the shockwave of some massive explosion. Her head snapped around to the window, searching for the source of the now deafening ringing in her ears. Eyes wide, she saw the blinding flash of light in the sky, saw the ring of multi-coloured light burst from it and stretch across the heavens. Trixie had no idea what it was, she had never heard of anything so beautiful and awe inspiring.

As her vision was filled with the radiant colours, she felt something primal awaken within her. Felt a fire ignite in her very soul. Felt a power she had never known before. Felt alive!

Pony Up

Twilight leaned over the table, her forehooves pressing down on either side of the large, hastily drawn map covering the table surface. They had already been through their tactics countless times, but Twilight wasn’t about to take any chances. Glancing up she saw her friends spread out around the armoury, all looking up at the clock above the metal shutter with mixed degrees of anticipation and excitement. Glancing back down at the map, Twilight began going over their strategy one last time in her head.

I need to take to high ground and cover Rainbow while she takes the central control point. After that we need to hold out until Applejack can establish a solid defence before pushing the front line. If we’re lucky, this skirmish will pass by without any trouble.

Twilight’s attention was demanded by the ringing of an old school style bell next to the clock as the hands met just over twelve O’clock. The shutter began sliding open, and without waiting for the others, Rainbow charged forward, a baseball cap upon her head, armed only with a bat and a can of soda. As the other hurried forwards Twilight heard Luna’s voice echo out across the arena.

“Control points enabled, move!”

Pinkie was next to leave shortly after Dash, almost completely obscured by her fireproof clothing and gas mask, with a flamethrower bobbing about just in front of her. She shouted something as she ran out but all twilight heard was an indistinct mumbling. Shortly behind her was Spike in his little red, combat jacket, pushing his helmet out of his eyes with one claw while trying to balance a ridiculously sized rocket launcher in the other.

Next to follow were Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, all wearing white coats emblazoned with a red cross and carrying varying medi-guns. They cried in unison ‘Cutie Mark Crusader Medics’ before Scootaloo broke away from the other two, rushing ahead to catch up with her idle. Behind them was Applejack, still wearing her Stetson, but now also a pair of black goggles with a toolbox bouncing on her back and a wrench strapped to her side.

“Pony up girls!” she rallied as she exited the barracks.

Next to leave were Fluttershy and Rarity, the latter wearing a balaclava and rather dapper red suit which faded to blue with a flash of Rarity’s horn. Fluttershy meanwhile hovered just off the ground, dragging a massive claymore behind her while all manner of explosives and a rocket launcher were strapped to her body.

Finally Big Mac departed, not because he was dawdling, but simply because he was being slowed down by the weight of the mini-gun hanging around his torso. With their whole team way ahead of her, Twilight levitated her sniper rifle off the table before donning her classy new leather outback hat.

“Let’s have a go at it!” she declared before charging off after her friends.

The Blame Game

“Three likes!” Twilight bellowed, staring at her computer screen with barely disguised rage. “What kind of crap is this?! Who wasn’t pulling their weight?”

Turning in her swivel chair she came face to face with Spike and Owlowiscious, the former looking at the ground nervously while the latter stared passively back at her.

“Well?!” Twilight repeated when neither of them answered.

“I don’t know what to say Twilight,” Spike began tentatively. “Three likes isn’t bad, and you didn’t get any dislikes at all. So if you think about it, you have the best ratio you could hope for.”

“But my stories never do so poorly,” Twilight whined, looking back at the screen. “I know I’m no A K Yearling, but I usually get a few more likes than this straight after publishing, and that’s not even mentioning how many ponies favourite it.”

“How many did?” Spike asked warily.

“Two,” Twilight replied bitterly.

“Ouch,” Spike uttered.

“Hoo!”

“I don’t know who they are,” Twilight replied to her pet, forgetting that was just the noise he made. “Ponies never use their real names on these sites.”

“Maybe ponies just don’t care for the format,” Spike proposed. “A bunch of really short stories with no connectivity, not exactly a literary masterpiece.”

“That’s the point Spike,” Twilight shot back as if she were stating the obvious. “They’re supposed to brief enough that anypony can read one in a few minutes, quick shots of entertainment that don’t take up much time. I was sure it was the recipe for success.”

“So what do you expect us to do about it?” Spike asked after a moment of silence.

“I don’t know,” Twilight admitted exasperatedly. “Tell your friends about them, post links to them on your social network accounts.”

“I think ponies would find us really sad if we did that,” Spike retorted, earning a glare from Twilight.

“Fine then mister socially aware,” Twilight snapped, standing up from her chair and levitating Spike into it instead. “In that case, you can be in charge of raking in the likes for this story.”

“Me?!” Spike repeated, his eyes widening. “Why me?”

“Because Spike, I seriously doubt that this failure would be due to the actions of an intelligent and well-read pony such as myself,” Twilight reasoned haughtily. “And if I’m not to blame, then clearly you are in some way.”

With that Twilight began to storm away from the desk.

“You’re Princess Celestia’s student!” Spike called after her. “You’re supposed to be doing work, not obsessing over fanfictions!”

His shouts were to no avail however as the library door was slammed shut behind Twilight. Sighing, Spike slumped into the chair and looked at the screen. How would he ever increase the popularity of this mess Twilight insisted on calling a story? Spike knew as well as anypony that despite all the books Twilight had read, she was only a mediocre author.

Reaching out, Spike grabbed the mouse and began clicking through a few different screens. With a few clicks he changed the story rating from ‘teen’ to ‘mature’ before adding the ‘sex’ tag.

“That should do it,” Spike said confidently to himself before saving his changes and walking away.

As Spike walked into the kitchen to find some ice cream, Owlowiscious was left alone in the main library wondering why everyone he knew was so stupid.

Run

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings furiously, hoping to put as much distance between herself and her house as possible, but more specifically, the ponies inside who had just attacked her. They would be catching up to her soon, that run around Dash had given them would only leave them disorientated for so long. Looking back ahead, Dash sped through the night sky, instinct carrying her towards Fluttershy’s cottage.

Dash could feel Tank struggling within her grasp, she was no doubt suffocating him with how tightly she wrapped her forelegs around him, but she wasn’t about to loosen up. Tank’s rotor had been damaged in the struggle, and Rainbow didn’t trust her shaking hooves to keep proper hold of him at this speed. Rainbow Dash had never been one to run away from a fight before, but semi-drunken brawls and facing off against changelings alongside her friends were one thing, waking up to find five heavily armoured stallions inside your home was quite another.

Rainbow had been so confused at first, perhaps it had been due to her having only recently woken, but for a wild moment she was convinced that the stallions were members of the royal guard. An easy mistake to make in retrospect, the only major aesthetic difference being their deep crimson armour in place of the regal gold worn by the actual royal guard. It was only when the fight broke out that Rainbow truly appreciated the danger she was in, the stallions fought with such ferocity, such bloodlust, she had no doubt in her mind that they were fully prepared to end her life if necessary… and what was more, Dash didn’t doubt they could kill her.

Rainbow Dash was daring, but she wasn’t suicidal. Scooping up Tank, she brought the whole house down around the stallions before slipping out the window and speeding off. Another glance back put her mind at ease when she saw that she wasn’t being pursued. Slowing down, she began to descend when she saw the silhouette of Fluttershy’s cottage emerge out of the darkness. Touching down onto the garden path, Rainbow set Tank on the ground while her own legs gave out beneath her.

Her coat and mane were soaked with sweat, and her breathing came out in short, sharp bursts. She was exhausted and her heart felt like it was about to explode inside her chest, but at least she was alive. With the worst behind her, she was safe to get Fluttershy and explain the situation. They would then gather their other friends and together they would put a quick stop to whatever was going on. Feeling much more confident now that she had the skeleton of a plan, Dash stood up and started towards the cottage… before stopping dead in her tracks.

Even in the dark of the night, Rainbow could see Fluttershy’s door ripped from the frame, an eerie silence pervading the yard and house. Panic and terror overcoming her once again, Dash stared at the house, afraid that somehow the stallions who had attacked her had already got to Fluttershy. As terrified as she felt, Dash refused to cower while her oldest friend could be in danger. She ran up the garden path to the front door, trying to make as little noise as possible in case the assailants were still about.

Peering into the house, Rainbow immediately picked up on the distinct lack of small animals and critters about. The house felt completely deserted as Rainbow edged her way inside, Tank following just as slowly. A quick search of the house confirmed it to be completely devoid of life, neither Fluttershy or her animal friends were to be found. What Rainbow did find however was the evidence of a struggle taking place in Fluttershy’s bedroom, the covers torn apart, a broken mirror, the wardrobe door caved in, a splatter of half dried blood on the floor.

As Rainbow examined the floor at the top of the stairs, where the dust gave the impression of something heavy being dragged across the floor, her fear began to give way to fury. Those stallions that had attacked her had also attacked Fluttershy, they had taken her, she could be hurt or… or…

Rainbow couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought, hurrying downstairs she made for the door, stopping only to order Tank to stay put, he’d be safer staying out of this. Without waiting for him to acknowledge her command she ran outside and took off once more, still tired but her anger lending her strength to keep moving. The next closest destination was Sweet Apple Acres, if someone was targeting herself and Fluttershy, Applejack would probably be in danger too, but if not, Rainbow would still need her help to rescue Fluttershy and gather the others.

The orange glow was the first thing Rainbow noticed as she flew over the canopy of the apple orchard, her heart sank into her stomach as she saw it, knowing it could only be one thing. Her fears were confirmed when she left the orchard behind her and halted in mid-air, keeping herself aloft with her flapping wings while before her Applejack’s home was devoured by flames. Rainbow was transfixed by the sight of her friends homestead swallowed in fire, illuminating the entire farmyard around it.

This was how Rainbow spotted Applejack, her eyes tracing along the flickering shadows on the ground to the several ponies casting them. Applejack was locked in a deadly fight with another four stallions, all wearing the same crimson armour Rainbow had seen upon first waking. Rainbow recognised their fighting style; she could see how they wanted nothing more than to slaughter Applejack, but what really shocked Rainbow was that she was seeing the same display in Applejack herself.

Rainbow barely had time to ponder what could have driven her friend to such savage ferocity, to fight like she fully intended to end the lives of four other ponies, before the fight came to a very abrupt end. The only warning she got was one of the stallions darting up behind Applejack, drawing a dagger as he did.

Long Story Short

It was going to be one of those days.

Twilight couldn’t explain why she felt that way as she woke up, she just knew it would be. Her first instinct was to ride it out in bed, roll over and go back to sleep, but the distant sound of humming of her draconic assistant/brother/slave and the faint aroma of pancakes wafting up the stairs quickly dismissed that notion.

With one final sigh, she reluctantly dragged herself from her bed, trying to ignore its soothing calls for her to return to its warm loving embrace.

“No Twilight, come back,” it seemed to say. “He’ll never love you like I do.”

Twilight shook her head, swiftly exiting her bedroom.

“Man that bed has gotten clingy lately,” she muttered to herself as she began descending the stairs to the main floor of the library she inhabited.

As she strode across the room she cast a quick glance around at all her precious books to make sure nopony had disrupted their perfect arrangement while she slept. It wouldn’t be the first time she had woken up to find a stranger sifting through her shelves. The nerve of some ponies, rummaging through someone else’s home then trying to justify it by saying it was a public library; Twilight would have none of it.

Satisfied her domain was just perfect, she entered the kitchen to find standing beside the stove, wearing a pink frilly apron and humming Sapphire Shores. Sometimes she really worried about that boy.

“Good morning Spike,” Twilight greeted in the most chipper voice she could manage. She hadn’t forgotten her feeling that morning, but she could always face breakfast with some enthusiasm. “What’s on the menu?”

“Hay bacon,” Spike replied cheerfully.

Twilight frowned, tapping her nuzzle curiously.

“Need to get that checked out,” she muttered to herself before adding louder, “Great!”

As she waited for Spike to finish, her eyes were drawn to the newspaper lying across the table. Reaching over, she dragged it her way, reading the headline.

Ponyville’s Premiere Party Pony Arrested In Drug Scandal

Twilight rolled her eyes and flicked to the next page. She would have expected nothing less of Pinkie Pie, the hilarious image of Pinkie’s muzzle covered in powdered sugar at Twilight’s last birthday party springing to mind, but she knew the Equestrian Mail was notorious for printing the most ridiculously ludicrous stories. It pretty much sold purely on the merits of being a joke newspaper, the next few stories being proof of that.

Apple, Apple, Pear? The Dark Secret Of The Apple Family Revealed.

Rarity Speaks Out: “More like, who haven’t I slept with?”

Prince Blueblood’s Autobiography Breaks Records By Selling Zero Copies.

Twilight sighed and closed the newspaper over. Whatever was the source of her feeling wouldn’t be found in the Equestrian Mail.

“Don’t we get delivered any real newspapers?” Twilight asked disgruntled.

“Not since the Gabby Gums thing,” Spike informed her, setting a plate of hay bacon down in front of her.

Twilight began tucking in as Spike took the seat opposite her, drumming his claws on the table surface in an agitated fashion. Twilight stopped eating and looked up, fully intent on telling him to cease his annoying activity when she happened to take notice of how clean and shiny his scales were looking this morning.

“What are you all polished up for?” Twilight asked, curiosity overcoming her previous irritation.

“I’m gonna do it Twilight,” Spike answered with determination. “Today is the day I finally tell Rarity how I feel about her.”

“Oh,” Twilight uttered, quickly sliding the newspaper off the table with her magic and throwing it in the bin.

“I’ve got it all planned out,” Spike continued unaware of what Twilight had just done. “I’ve saved up all my allowances and sold all my gems so I could book a reservation at that really fancy restaurant Rarity likes. I’m going to go straight to the Boutique after I clean up here and invite her out.”

“Well that sound like a very well thought out plan,” Twilight replied automatically. “Just be sure to be home before… Wait a second! Since when did you start getting allowances?”

“Since you stopped counting the bits Celestia sends you,” Spike muttered under his breath.

“What?” Twilight demanded.

“Nothing, nothing!” Spike declared, hoping off his seat and carrying his own empty plate over to the sink to be washed.

Twilight frowned. She didn’t remember Spike actually stopping to eat since he sat down. Shrugging it off as one of those things she returned to her own breakfast.

“So what will you be doing today?” Spike asked from the sink.

“I have no plans,” Twilight replied her mouth full before adding, “yet.”

She glanced up at the kitchen clock, trying to ignore the wide, terrifying cat eyes that moved from side to side with every second that ticked by. One day she would destroy that unholy thing and tell Fluttershy it was Spike’s fault and there was no need to replace the housewarming present. Today however she just needed to know the time.

Ten to ten. Shouldn’t be long now.

Twilight looked down at her remaining food, would she have time to rush back to bed and wrap herself up under the covers?

An ear-piercing scream broke through the silence, causing Spike to jump slightly, head spinning to the window.

Evidently not.

“That sounded like it came from town!” Spike exclaimed.

“Uhuh,” Twilight replied half-heartedly, picking up another piece of bacon.

“That’s it? Just uhuh?” Spike replied, giving Twilight a deadpan stare. “You aren’t going to go investigate or help, you’re just going to sit there and eat your bacon.”

Twilight took a long, noisy slurp of her orange juice.

“In a minute,” she said at last.

Yup, it was definitely going to be one of those days.

The Bugs And The Bees

The rabbits dived for cover as the pink menace dashed through the forest trail that had, seconds before been so peaceful. “Oh, that looks tasty!” Pinkie exclaimed, halting next to a small sprout of green leaves which she uprooted with her teeth to reveal a bright orange carrot. twisting her neck she tossed it into the back pack she had cleverly woven from some long grass, along with the other various food items and plants she had collected since leaving Fluttershy.

“Alrighty then,” Pinkie began, surveying her horde. While she would admit to not knowing the first thing about medicine, she could recall a few odd statements exchanged between Rarity and Fluttershy during one of the rare spa visits Pinkie had attended. Hence she had a good idea that herbal remedies could be made from all kinds of flowers and herbs, the carrots and berries were just for when she got snacky.

With this in mind she stared in utter confusion at the assortment of items, baffled at how these could possibly help Fluttershy. Finally shrugging and accepting her own lack of understanding, she decided it would be best to carry on gathering and let Fluttershy decide what to do with it all when she returned. Closing over her backpack she carried on her way, but not before waving goodbye to the bunnies poking their noses out of their burrows to see if the coast was clear.

Humming a little tune, she hopped down the trail, only vaguely aware of the lack of harvestable plants the further she walked. It had also grown increasingly dark, which she was sure wasn’t due to the sun which she had noted had only begun its descent in the sky. Not worried in the slightest she kept going, sure she would emerge from this dark section soon and discover an abundance of plants, then she would go back to Fluttershy and then…

Pinkie’s inner monologue came to a screeching halt as her hooves planted firmly on the ground and remained stuck there. Curious, she looked down to see the forest floor, until recently blanketed in pine needles, was now covered in a thick, pale substance. She tried moving her hooves, and while the substance gave slightly it continued to be stubbornly sticky. Pinkie recalled a time her Granny Pie had warned her to ‘look before she leapt’; the memory caused her to giggle slightly despite the situation she was in.

As troublesome as this was, Pinkie was not dismayed. Looking around, she scanned the area for something that might aid her in getting unstuck, which resulted in her eyes falling on something not too far away. It was difficult to make out in the low light, but it appeared to be some mound, crafted from the same sticky material she was standing on, what was more, it appeared to be quivering.

Eyes wide with childlike curiosity, she leaned in as far as she could, being stuck to the ground, examining the egg shaped object. As she did she began to hear a faint clicking noise, lots of them. Bolstering her courage she called out in the warmest tone she could muster, “Hello? Is there anything in there? I’m a little stuck.”

The clicking stopped abruptly, and Pinkie was worried she’d frightened whatever it was off… when suddenly the egg thing burst open, releasing five giant creatures, pitch black but for their glowing yellow eyes and shining white fangs. They all hissed, moving towards Pinkie, their long spindly legs moving undeterred by the substance Pinkie now realised were webs.

“Whoa, would you look at the time,” Pinkie said, her voice now trembling slightly as the spiders moved in, “I really better get going.” Pinkie tried to shift her legs, but the webbing refused to give way enough for her to make her escape. “I said,” Pinkie said, more firmly this time, “I’ll… just… be… GOING!”

With that she wrenched her legs free, leaping away from webbing plastered over the ground and the spiders which were now charging in on their prey. Landing safely on ordinary ground, Pinkie wasted no time in turning tail and running as fast as she could away from the predators, unfortunately she could hear the spiders giving chase behind her. “Why couldn’t Granny Pie have a song for laughing away giant killer spiders?” Pinkie wailed as she ran, the sound of the spiders snapping at her tail all too loud in her ears.

Clenching her eyes shut as she ran, not a wise decision in hindsight, she didn’t notice when she left the dark canopy and re-entered the fading sunlight. She also didn’t notice the beehive in front of her, which she preceded to crash head first into. Falling back dazed, Pinkie wanted to believe she had received a concussion, and that the sound of clicking now mixed with buzzing was all in her head. To her dismay however, she saw the spiders bearing down upon her, and she saw the bees buzzing in for the kill. Utterly drained of hope, she clenched her eyes and waited for the end…

Unrequited

“Shining Dear?” Princess Cadance began loudly, her husband grunting in response from where he lay sprawled out on the bed, only half listening. “Do you think Celestia would be angry at me if I didn’t finish this decree and instead hid under the covers with you for the rest of my life?”

“Just a bit,” Shining replied in an exhausted voice.

“What if we declared independence from Equestria?” Cadance asked, sounding overly innocent.

“That wouldn’t end well,” Shining stated, stifling a yawn as he groggily sat up.

“What if, now here me out,” Cadance carried on, sounding slightly desperate now. “We fake our deaths…”

“Cadance stop,” Shining said bluntly, now sitting straight up and meeting his wife’s gaze. “Celestia asked you to establish a new annual holiday, and no amount of scheming is going to get you out of it.”

Cadance slumped in her desk chair, pouting and looking thoroughly put off.

“I really don’t see why you’re finding this so difficult,” Shining continued, standing up and walking across to where Cadance was working.

“Because I’ve never done anything like this before,” Cadance whined as she crumpled another sheet of paper and cast it aside. “Economy I can manage, Foreign Relations are a breeze, but this is something that could go down in history, be forever engrained in our culture.”

“Well why don’t you make it something to do with love?” Shining asked. “After all Celestia has the Summer Sun Celebration, Luna has Nightmare Night, and Twilight has…”

“National Book Day,” Cadance finished, sounding unamused. “Yes you’ve made that joke before.”

“Well my point still stands,” Shining mumbled, looking put off.

“Stands only to fall flat,” Cadance retorted, rising from her chair and drifting away from the desk. “We already have a holiday celebrating love.”

“Hearts and Hooves Day, yeah,” Shining acknowledged. “But do you think that in your stress over all this and… other things, you’ve forgotten one of your most basic principles?”

“And what would that be?” Cadance asked forlornly as she reached the window and leaned forward, gazing down at the streets of the Crystal Empire.

“That love comes in many forms,” Shining replied smugly.

Cadance didn’t reply, she simply continued to stare out as her husband’s words rang in her mind. Far down below her, her keen eyes made out a solitary figure walking across the near empty street. It was one of the shimmering Crystal Empire residents, a mare specifically, pushing a pram with what looked to be her young foal. Cadance heard the foal wailing, saw the mother stop pushing the pram and instead scoop her baby up in her forelegs and begin rocking it gently back and forth.

Cadance couldn’t be sure from this height, but she imagined the mother singing soft lullabies to her baby. Very quickly, the infant stopped crying, and the mother stood for a moment more, holding her child close to her before redepositing it into the pram and carrying on her way. Seeing this began to stir an odd sensation in Cadance’s body, almost instinctively she raised a foreleg and rested it against her stomach.

When Cadance turned back to her husband, she wore a warm smile, while his was smug with a touch of ‘I told you so’.

“Well?” Shining asked knowingly.

“I hope you’re in the mood for a family get together,” Cadance began, making her way back over to her desk. “Because very soon you’ll be celebrating the first Mother’s Day.”