The Greatest Performance

***Edgar's POV***
**Maple Grove Gynocology clinic**
*Afternoon*

"Such bullshit." I grumbled.

I was not in a good mood today. I was stuck with the duty of taking my mom to the gynecologist because, of all things, my dad decided that building a tunnel to Antarctica for his snow cone business was more important.

Yeah, you heard that right. Snow cones. In Antarctica. It make sense if he was sourcing the snow from there to sell here, but Minnesota is already snowy enough god damn it! Since I'm the only other person in the family with a license cause my mom doesn't trust muscle cars like my Mustang and my dad is half a planet away, guess who got voluntold to take her.

"Edgar, Language!" The thirty-seven year old Nicole scolded, silencing me almost immediately.

Oh yea, never introduced you to my mom. Please bear with me, this won't sound flattering at first.

Picture someone who looks like they could be the kindest, most gentle version of The Trunchbull from "Matilda". That's my mom, Nicole Jorgensen. She was a burly for a woman, when I was way younger and watched Matilda on VHS, I actually thought that was her pretending to be mean in the movie because both her build and her hairstyle was the exact same. I didn't know that she only picked that hairstyle because it was easy to do in the morning before going to work, but cut me some slack, I was like eight or something.

That's not to say that she couldn't be mean if she wanted to be. Our family often teased her and called her "The Mean-ager", since she fired soooooo many people from the restaurant she ran. She even fired somebody on Christmas one time, but it was completely justified. It was another manager who thought they could sneak their friends in after closing hours and help themselves to the copious amounts of alcohol for their own private Christmas party. She was notified of it at two in the morning and called them via cell to tell them not to come in at two-ten.

Anyway, she's only thirty-seven, but she looked as if she was in her late 40's. She had me when she was seventeen, just before she finished getting her GED. She was a bit young to be having kids, but that didn't stop her from carrying herself with the kind of authority that makes you think twice before stepping out of line. Her hair is this deep, charcoal black with very few strands of white hairs starting to make itself known(probably from the stress of being a restaurant manager). It was always pulled back into a tight bun like the Trunchbull on the top of her head. Never had a strand out of place, ever.

Despite that tough exterior, there's this sweetness to her. It's like she's the personification of a tough bear, but not the kind you'd run away from. Instead, she's more of a "Momma Bear" than anything, the kind you know will suplex a nuke for you, no matter what. Believe me, when she sets her mind to something, she's unstoppable, kind of like how she's taken on the task of forcing me to take her to the gynecologist because Dad's off chasing his snow cone dreams in Antarctica with my three little sisters!

My fucking luck I swear.

Anyway, the trip was a blur and we were already in the waiting room. Sitting behind the receptionist desk was a Alicorn of onyx fur and flowing indigo blue hair. A red cap with a white cross on it sat perfectly atop her head, its bright color a stark contrast to her coat and mane that shimmered like the night sky full of stars. It was a bit of a surreal sight seeing that not only a hat, but a sort of nurse's robe? It reminded me of something a nun would wear or an 1800's nurse, but for ponies.

"Mrs. Jorgensen for the two o'clock, we presume?" A voice that was unmistakably Luna's came out of her mouth, but it seemed to have a velvety richness to it. When she spoke, it was as if the very air in the reception room vibrated with the timbre of her voice, echoing off of the...everywhere, I guess. It was less reserved, but more Hello fly, welcome to my web type of vibe. I wasn't too concerned about her. She was still wearing a nurse's hat, so Hippocratic Oath and all that. "I'll take you to your waiting room. I don't have any other appointments scheduled to show up anytime soon." The mare walked from behind the desk and urged us to follow her.

Hmmm. Two o'clock. That's a weird coincidence...

As we walked down the hospital halls, she turned to my mom to strike up conversation. "Huzzah, I see you are a mare of quality. You prefer them young too?"

Flustered, my mom waved her off as we walked along side her. "No no no. This is my son, Edgar. He is taking me to the doctor since his father is preoccupied with his business trip to Antarctica. I don't trust myself with muscle cars, but those are all his dad ever bought."

"What a dutiful son. You must be very proud." Turning her Cerulean-slitted eyes to me, shooting off a knowing glance between the two of us.

"When he listens, yes."

"Mom, I'm right here, you know."

"Oh good. So you are listening." Mom teased.

Both the ladies laughed before the Alicorn who was totally not Nightmare Moon spoke once more. "Too prideful to let a little ribbing go unchecked, I see. We can relate." She stopped and turned toward an office door on her left. "Here we are. You will just need to wait inside. The doctor should be here in roughly ten minutes. It was lovely to meet you, Mrs. Jorgensen."

We both looked at the door with the following description stenciled in block lettering on the frosted glass.

ROOM 69

DR. JOHNATHAN S. , MD

BOARD CERTIFIED OBSTETRICS & GYNECOLOGY SPECIALIST

We started to walk inside, and as I started to pass the Alicorn, she pipped up again. "Oh, and Edgar...?" I turned toward to see what else she had to say. Those catlike slits locked with my eyes once more for a while as her smile started to get wider and wider. I found myself transfixed, unable to look away before she spoke again, breaking me out of my involuntary staring contest with her. "Got it ~ It was nice to finally speak with you, Edgar, although not as long as I would have liked. Come again soon. Doctor's orders..."

"Sure, likewise, I guess?" She turned and walked away out of view. I sat down on one of the plastic guest chairs in the Doctor's office, sighing out a breath of relief. "Holy fuck, she was weird! Did you see her eyeing me like a piece of meat the entire walk here? I have a hard time believing that Alicorn has ever been to medical school..."

"Oh, stop it. She seemed nice." Mom started poking at my ribs. "You might be able to get her number if you tried. Did you bring your rolodex with you?"

I sighed in annoyance. "No mom, I left it back in the Lucky 38 in New Vegas. You know this!"

"Oh, right. Mr. House was never happy that you chose to run Doom 64 on Victor. "

It was a good time. Luckily, if my utility droid T3-M4 was there to reactivate the elevators. Otherwise, I doubt I could have escaped back to the presidential suite to play Shrek 2 on my Xbox...

"Mrs. Jorgensen, I presume?" An older masculine voice inquired from the back of the room, a bald man walked in and shut the door behind him wearing in a physician's coat and a smug smile. As he turned, my eyebrows shot up and cocked themselves as I felt my muscles tense up. I recognized this fucker. That man was no doctor...

.
.

"No.....Absolutely fucking not." I stood up from my chair in a building rage.

The perverse porn-star never dropped that smug smiled, but rested his hands on his hips as he bent down to talk to me. As if he was patronizing me in front of my mom. "What is a matter, Sport? Is something wrong? Would a lollipop make things better? You can pick one up at the receptionist desk. Nurse Moonbutt usually has a stash in the cabinet that she thinks we don't know about." He winked at me as he nudge toward the door.

"Don't you give me that, you putrid pathological, pornographic pussy-pounding piss-ant! I know what you're here for! You are not doing any form of dentistry, gynocology, plumbing, coaching, mammograms, or anything like that with my Mom. Not while I'm here! She's not like the thots back on Pornhub. She's a good mom, you bald muscular prick! Fuck you!"

"She's a mom, and that makes her a MILF." The mocking gesture from Johnny Sins was dropped as his face took on a darker expression. "Mr. Jorgensen, if you don't leave the room and let me see to my patient, who is in dire need of my services, I may have to be required to call for security!"

*THWACK*

A solid fist landed squarely into the nose of the bald bastard, sending him spinning in a comedic fashion around the room before suddenly crashing out of view behind his desk.

"I Fuck-Tuple-Dog dare you, bitch!" I yelled, putting up my dukes and getting ready to metaphorically make him the bitch. "I ain't afraid of you. You tried threatening to put a remote explosive in my balls that would detonate if I failed No Nut November, but I failed on Day four and my balls are still here! I'm not fucking scared of you anymore! You're not my fucking Dad! YOU'RE NOT FUCKING MY MOM!" I yelled at him before whipping toward my mother, who was sitting and watching the whole ordeal in confusion. "Mom, lets get out of here." My Mom was transfixed at something, before pointing at the wooden desk that hid the winner of six different pornography awards. Turning back, I saw a hand rise from behind the wooden desk as it grasped the corner. An unamused and no worse for wear Bald man lifted himself up. "How are you still standing after that?!?" I asked in absurdity.

"Do you have any idea how rough my scenes can get?"

"...Yes."

"Then you really should have expected this..." Johnny Sins reached for the corded phone on his desk and pressed one button to call security on speed dial. "Yea, I have a Momma's boy that doesn't want his mom to get her interior examination. I have doctor-patience confidentiality I need to worry about, so do you mind if you play babysitter for a bit?" I sat back in my fighting stance, letting him do what he wanted for a reason I could not fully understand. "You can do whatever you want with him. Uh-huh. Yes. No, I don't really care. Got it. Uh-huh" Johnny Sins then turned toward me as his head twisted in an angle that most people would find uncanny."...See you soon, your majesty."

The fire behind my eyes was quickly doused by that statement, and his smile grew more sinister as he saw that I realized exactly who he called.

"No...No what the fuck did you just do?!?" My legs turned to Jell-O as they started to lose their strength. I stumbled backwards against the door that we entered from. With surgical precision, this walking meme cut out my attitude and signed my death certificate. "I-i'm sorry. I'll be good. I'll leave right now."

"You're free to walk out that door at any time now, Mr. Jorgensen." He offered, motioning to the exit behind me.

I turned toward the door I was leaning against, but froze as I started to hyperventilate. A voice and face obscured by the door's frosted glass spoke a horribly sweet voice with a horribly simple request.

.

"Look at me, Human."

.

The door knob to the office started to jiggle as a Golden glow enveloped it, and upon instinct I leaped for it and squeezed it as tightly as possible with both hands to hold it shut, but the glow didn't disappear. It didn't disappear. "No, no, no, no, no!" It took every ounce of strength I had to hold it shut, but I knew I wasn't going to last long. The door knob was twisting and forcing its way open against my grip. I was losing the battle to hold the door knob to stop it from opening. It was getting hot, and it was starting to burn...oh my god it burned, but I can't let go. I can't let her in.

From the gaps around the doors frame, hot steam billowed thorough and started to melt the wood surrounding it as the room filled with a thick fog. "OKAY, you win! I'm leaving. I promise, just tell her to go. PLEASE!"

"Oh, I can't stop her. I'm only hyu-man." Johnny Sins shrugged with a smug smile, walking over to my mother and massaging her shoulders. Even my own mother had a neutral expression as she watched me desperately struggle to hold the doors shut in a battle that I was desperately clinging onto. "Can you feel your heart burning Edgar? Can you feel that sinking sensation of knowing all the worst possible things she wants to do to you? And you can't do a damn thing to stop it? The fear within you is beyond anything your courage or mediocre wits can conquer. She's going to kill you Edgar, and you cannot fight back in a way that matters."

The knob suddenly stopped, and soon the door was begging to push open slowly. I slammed my shoulder into to shut it once more, but was suddenly flung back from the force of the door slamming back with twice the force I could have ever managed. I felt myself crash against the doctor's desk, as I looked onward at the figure behind the mists and steam. It was a White Alicorn with golden jewelry and magenta-colored eyes...those horrible horrible eyes.

"Look at me, Human..."

Stomp...

Stomp...

Stomp...

The eyes shined through the darkness like signals of my demise as I heard her getting closer and closer, cracking the tile as she drew near.

Dazed, I tried to stand up, but a magical aura engulfed me and held my arms tightly against my body in a blazing hot cocoon... and it burned. "What the hell is wrong with you?!? You're not supposed to be like this!!!" I pleaded with the entity, but saw no mercy from Celestia's eyes.

Only hatred. I desperately called out for somebody, anybody to help me. "MOM, HELP ME! MOOOM!"

"I'm sorry sweetie, I can't help you anymore. You're a world away from us..."

I turned toward her and saw only shadowy figures lurking in the shadows where my mom and the bald man was. All I could make out where their glowing magenta eyes. A pair of white hooves clamped themselves at the sides of my temple before cranking my head agonizingly slowly to face their owners. "Please no please no PLEASE NO!" Unable to move, unable to fight, I tried resisting with what little muscle my neck was capable of giving. There was nothing I can do. She was turning my head this slow on purpose. To build the anticipation like she was savoring this.

"I'M SORRY! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE HER STOP!" Even as I met with Celestia's horrible horrible eyes, all I could make out was hatred.

"Look at me, Human!"

Her eyes, unblinking magenta orbs glowing with an intensity that scorched my soul. They held no warmth or benevolence that the show portrayed. Not a single shred. I only saw hellfire. They were windows into an bright abyss, a chasm filled with a hatred so palpable, it felt as if it could physically rend me apart.

I couldn't even muster the ability to scream, only stare open jawed. Celestia herself did not speak any more, and simply stared...and hated.

The room, once filled with steam and the eerie glow of her magic, now seemed to start to fade to black. The office, my mother, the false doctor...they all started to melt away leaving me alone with Celestia. In the pitch black, I was trapped in an endless moment of scrutiny under Celestia's gaze. Time seemed to lose meaning as seconds stretched into minutes...stretching into hours. All that was left in the darkness were her eyes...

Those horrible horrible eyes.

"Shhhhhh...Shhhhhh..."