Chapter 1: Bad First Impressions
And so it had come to this.
I stood, alone, my expression grim.
My Pony friends betrayed or otherwise removed, I stood calmly in the face of the Scourge that was soon to spell Doom for all of Equestria. I stood on the thin slip of land between the unforgiving lava below and the solid stone wall of the cavern, the only thing bothering to offer me any support at all, as I faced this scaly menace.
For all my vaunted intelligence, for all my clever skill, I still found myself being little more than one small obstacle between the beast and the town full of Ponies who had hated and despised me since the day of my arrival. I owed them nothing and knew little affection from them.
And yet, here I stood, facing that which would most certainly be my demise, and risking my life so that they would never have to feel pain I was about to feel.
My axe and spear lay out of reach, and my sword was melted slag in the lava. I only had one minor trick left.
But to understand what was happening, you must first understand how I came to that point, and for that, we must begin our story elsewhere, in a very different place, at a much earlier point in time...
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It all began on an ordinary day in spring in the home I had shared with my Grandfather, a few days following his funeral. I had spent the last several years keeping an eye on the old man, and the reality of his death had finally set in when my Uncle- who had been named as the Executor of his Estate- reminded me that the house was a part of the Estate, and would be sold as soon as possible so that my Aunts and Uncles could get their share of it.
In short, I was out of a home, on top of losing the one family member I had been closest to.
So, I loaded up my little four-door Ford with a bunch of the things that I considered mine, put notes on several other things, and took off. I told my family I just needed a little time to clear my head.
I didn’t really have anywhere to go, so I hit the Interstate and just tried to sort myself with the rhythm and hum of my tires on the Blacktop. I kept going long into the night, until mountains loomed up all around, the air outside my windows chill in spite of the coming spring.
The first indication I had that something odd was happening was the tiny blue sparks. I noticed them whizzing by my window as I cruised along. Then, there was a bright flash, and the sound of my tires on the road vanished, replaced by the sound of air noise as the car suddenly found itself Twenty feet above a rather dense forested area.
I barely had time to brace as the ground rushed up and the airbag deployed upon impact with the trees. The shriek of metal bending and the sound of glass breaking filled the next few moments. The airbag and my seatbelt prevented me from being injured, but my car was a total wreck and I was hanging upside-down in it.
I knew that there was some danger in a wreck like this, a possibility of fire or worse, so I fumbled in my pocket for my multi-tool and used its knife to cut my seatbelt. I then tested the window crank, glad to find that it was still functional, opened the window and crawled out.
Once I was clear of my car, I got my first look at the place where I had come down. I could not see the road from here, nor could I see any signs of civilization. So I checked my phone. Naturally, no bars. It seemed that either I had driven off a cliff and flown way further than I had thought possible, or something really weird was going on.
I looked over my car. She was not in good shape. She had come down on her nose and fallen over on her roof. Fortunately, it did not seem like there was any fuel leaking, or anything bad like that, and the trunk was still in good shape, so once I retrieved my key from the ignition, I used it to open the trunk and retrieve several things that I had in there.
First came my roadside emergency kit. It had Flares, emergency cones, a thermal blanket, Rain gear and a few other handy things for this sort of situation. Then came my toolbox and the three jugs of water I keep in there, my hand axe, sleeping bag, and a 10x10 tarp. After that came my camping gear, a bag of charcoal, a box of matches, and the long cardboard box containing my Katana and my machete.
After a few more moments, I also pulled out my two-part, six foot long, steel-hafted black spear. Now, I know what you are thinking: Why was there a spear in my trunk? Well, where else was I going to put it? I screwed the two shafts together and leaned the completed spear against a tree nearby.
Knowing that the first things to do in a survival situation are to find shelter, secure food and water, and get a fire, I set about building a simple tent using the canvas and some pitons. I used some branches to make a bed that would be off the ground a bit, and then I found some stones and used my camp shovel to build a fire pit.
I had enough water for a few days, at least, but I kicked myself for not packing dried food or canned goods or something.
I scouted the area around my campsite, and noticed immediately that there was no road anywhere within 100 yards of where I crashed. That concerned me, as did the fact that it was now full daylight, where it had been night before the crash. I did not know how I had ended up so far from the road, or how I had lost at least eight hours, but, for the moment, at least, I had more pressing issues.
Turning my focus back to the task at hand, I located what looked like a likely trail for rabbits, and set a few snares with a little bit of cord and some saplings. Nothing to do but wait, I returned to my camp, and began gathering wood for the fire.
The night was beautiful. Through the branches of the trees above, I could see more stars than I had ever seen before. Sadly, the tiny opening into the sky was not large enough for me to get my bearings from it. I used tinder and matches to produce a cheery little fire, and I sat next to it, wrapped in my blanket against the chill of night.
In the morning, I was awoken by the sound of a cry. I went to check my snares, and found a… Decidedly odd looking rabbit handing from one of the loops. It was snow white, and had a head nearly as large as the rest of its body put together. It struggled against the snare and looked up at me with enormous eyes.
I admit, I had never killed an animal bigger than a bug before, but I needed food if I was going to get back to civilization. I caught the wriggling creature by the back of its neck and closed my eyes as I wrenched it hard, snapping its neck and killing it instantly, as painlessly as I could manage.
As its body fell limp, I wanted to puke. I knew what had to come next, and I had just enough knowledge to make a grand horror show of it. I had to remove the organs that I was not going to eat, and then cook the meat, in a short time so it would not go bad, so I took the body back to my camp and began the grizzly work of butchering the creature.
I was pretty far into the mess of it all when I heard it. A voice.
“Angel Bunny!” the voice called, “It is time for your breakfast carrot! Angel? Where are you?”
I had just barely managed to get to my feet when a Yellow… thing… trotted into view. I suppose that you could call this thing a “Pony” in the same way that you might call an Elf a “Person”, or a wolf a “Dog”. Sure, it had four hooved legs, a mane of hair, and a long tail – both colored pink – but it had large expressive eyes, a short muzzle, and cute little ears poking out of its mane. Oh, and wings. Definitely not a normal “Pony”.
I opened my mouth to speak when those huge eyes took in the sight of my butchering, and the remains of my victim. “ANGEL!” she screamed, a look of total horror filling her features. “NOOOO!”
She immediately burst into tears and fled back the way she came. I thought to follow her, maybe calm her down, maybe apologize or something, but I immediately thought better of it. If there were more of those things out that way, it might not be wise to chase one of them with blood on my hands. I gave a sigh and focused on cooking the meat, and then but what remained of the rabbit in a plastic sack from the last time I had been at the grocery store.
I kept waiting, and watching, though, and as the afternoon came, I heard the sound of new voices. “Come on, Crusaders,” one voice said, “Fluttershy said that the thing that killed Angel Bunny was in these woods somewhere. If we can catch it, we will get out Cutie Marks for sure!”
Another voice piped up. “I don’t know, Scootaloo,” it said, “Shouldn’t we leave it to the grown-ups?”
This was answered by a third voice. “We gotta find the monster before the Grown-ups get here, Sweetie Belle.” It said, “Otherwise it is back to the drawing board with our Cutie marks.”
The first voice spoke again. “Exactly.” It said, “And remember, we need to be really quiet so that we can sneak up on it. Huh? Whah!”
The last was punctuated by the whipping sound of one of my snares going off. In hindsight, I probably should have disabled those.
The one I guessed was called Sweetie Belle cried out in alarm. “It’s a trap!” she shouted. “It knew we were coming! What do we do? What do we do? Applebloom! What do we do?”
The other one seemed to be panicking as well. “I don’t know!” she cried, “We have to get out of here!”
The one caught in the snare shouted at the other two. “You can’t just leave me here! Get me down!”
I approached quietly and took in the scene as three smaller versions of the Equine creature I had seen earlier panicked and ran in circles trying to figure out what to do. The pair on the ground were white and yellow, but instead of wings, the white one had a single horn in the middle of her head, and the yellow one had neither horn nor wings.
The one hanging from the trap was orange, and had wings, but as it tried to use them, it only managed to buzz around in circles on the cord. “Hey! Sweetie Belle!” she cried, “Use your magic to get me down! Quick, before the monster comes!”
The white one stopped running and turned toward her snared friend. “Okay.” She said, “I’ll try.”
A faint green aura surrounded the white one’s horn, and then the orange one’s purple tail, tugging at it in an attempt to pull her free of the snare. After several moments of this, the force slacked.
Sweetie Belle sighed. “It’s no use.” She said, “I can’t get it. I’m not strong enough.”
I sighed and stepped forward, fishing out my multi-tool as I did. As they became aware of my presence, the three little Ponies all looked at me and fell silent. I opened the knife and the orange Pony I had heard named “Scootaloo” stared at me with wide, terrified eyes.
Her friends also saw the knife and immediately leapt into action. “We won’t let you hurt our friend, Monster!” the yellow Pony they had named as “Applebloom” declared.
Sweetie Belle joined her in standing in my way. “Yeah, Leave our friend alone!” she said, standing shoulder to shoulder with Applebloom in a display of solidarity that would have been a lot more intimidating if the pair of them were any taller than my knees.
I laughed at them and moved to step around them, intending to cut their friend down, when Applebloom kicked me in the shin. At the same time, a green glow caught my arm and pulled it back, attempting to wrench the knife free. I stepped back to avoid another kick and bent my strength against the force of the green glow, pulling Sweetie Belle off her feet, and then bent and caught Applebloom around the chest, picking her up off the ground as she struggled fruitlessly in my grip.
I glared at the little pony in my hands. “Stop that!” I said through teeth clenched against the throbbing pain in my shin, “I am trying to-“
“Get away from them!”
That was all the warning I got. In the next instant, I was hit solidly in the chest by a Rainbow Colored blur. The blow pitched me backward, sending Applebloom tumbling through the air. Before I could move to get to my feet, or even try to get my breath back, a rope looped around my arms, trapping them to my sides.
I looked up and saw what appeared to be a white Pony with a horn step up and rear her back leg to kick. “Take that you Ruffian!” she said.
And then I saw stars, and the world whirled.
As I slipped into unconsciousness, I mused at the novelty of getting beat up by a bunch of Ponies.
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Author's Note
I fully expect to get flamed by some and praised by others for my decision to have my main character kill Angel. That said, I appreciate any and all constructive criticism.
