Failed it~

by Feral Eris

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rarity, Random, Zecora, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 9226

During the events of "Magic duel", a spell goes wrong. Now the friends must find a way to correct it!

It's the showdown between Twilight Sparkle and the boastful Trixie! As Twilight deals the final magical blow to put an end to this pointless fight, a burst of empty magic causes the relic at Twilight's neck to actually cast a potent spell! The duel now over, the friends must now find a way to undo the unintended spell before it becomes permanent!

Published 2014-10-02 14:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-20 03:25:14 UTC

Mild discomfort required

The young scholar cracked her knuckles and grinned, casting her eyes in Applejacks direction.

"Ooh, one more! I can turn a woman into a man!"

This was it! The nail in the coffin for this silly little duel. Soon, everything will be back to normal and everyone will be fine again! So far everyone has been doing their part so splendidly, and the faux spells were working! Trixie was hooked! Now to get her to get the amulet off....

The farmer flinched on the spot as Twilight eyed her. It was all a ruse of course, but some part of the farmer couldn't help but to feel a tad worried that something could happen. She trusted Twilight's plan and knew her friends were all working hard to get everything back to normal, even her family had a hand in this! From the corner of her eye Applejack could see a very uncomfortable Big Mac waiting behind the fountain, blushing like crazy and ready to jump out there. Hopefully the wig wouldn't give out while he moved this time.

Twilight raised her hands above her head and summoned a magenta-hued energy into her fingertips, as well as around the green gem at her neck to produce the effect of making it seem like she was drawing her magic from it instead of herself!

With a look of determination, Twilight hurled her magic at a nervous Applejack. She blinked in surprise as she felt a small pressure exert itself through her arms and shoulders, feeling it come from her chest as she summoned more magic. The ray of magic hit the tanned blonde, making her yelp out in surprise as an electric sensation coursed through her body. It felt as if Rainbow Dash had struck her with a lightning bolt. Again. She wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but she knew that wasn't supposed to feel like that, remembering in Twilight's message that the magic she was going to use were "blanks", as she put it.

The huge puff of magical smoke rose with a POOF! and shrouded the farmer, keeping her entirely out of view. Big Mac tried to move under the swirling smoke, holding the wig atop his head, until a hand came from under the cloud telling him to stay put. That brief moment of confusion made everyone pull him back, for fear of being caught.

"What in tarnation is that girl thinkin'?!", Granny Smith grumbled worriedly.

Big Mac shrugged his shoulders in confusion, just as worried as everyone else.

The others watched as the cloud dispersed slowly, revealing not a young woman but a young man! Long blonde hair was bound at his back with that very same Stetson on his head, however his clothes were in shambles! The white tank that was worn before burst to shreds as his chest widened to a more barrel-chested status. The jeans tore in several places as the lower torso and legs branched out more widely with thicker, more pronounced muscle mass. Both Granny Smith and Rarity covered Applebloom and Sweetie Belle's eyes as they stared in astonishment, much to the little girl's annoyance as they tried to remove the hands over their eyes. Rainbow Dash's doppelganger eeped out and covered her eyes as they remained in the air, while an amused Rainbow tried to keep in her laughter.

In an attempt at modesty, Applejack quickly brought his arms up to hug himself and try to cover as much of himself as he could! The jeans would've fallen off if he didn't have a bigger body build, making the material unbearably tight in some areas. The button-fly opening flew right off as the zipper was forced down. Wide and frightened green eyes looked from their body to Twilight and Trixie.

Fighting the confusion, a blushing Applejack smiled sheepishly and muttered a low "Eyup!".

Twilight smiled confidently at seeing Trixie's disbelieving, slack-jawed stare. Something caught her attention just beyond where Applejack stood, and Twilight could see a confused Big Mac and Granny looking at her beyond the fountain. She squinted slightly and noticed something was off. That would have to wait though, right now she had to keep Trixie's attention on her and get her to unlatch the amulet. She shook away the concerned looks of her friends and resumed her air of superiority.

"Oh, my! There has been a mistake I fear, for this is not the right sphere!"

"What do you mean? Zecora, I thought this was a mere doorstop.", Twilight said as she held up the remains of the fake amulet in her hands.

"What I gave you to use was not a dud in the slight. For the gem we have used was a dormant Andradite!"

"Dormant?"

"Certain gemstones can hold certain strengths, while others hold little to no lengths. Many a spark of your magic, must've been what did the trick!"

"Trick? Another one? I thought we were only doing the ONE to get the amulet off that meanie Trixie!", Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

"No, Pinkie. I think what Zecora means is, It must've been my magic coursing through the gem several times that made its dormant powers come to life and in turn....doing...this."

They all moved their eyes to a very disgruntled Applejack as he sat on a stool, tightly wrapped in a sheet supplied by Rarity while Granny and Big Mac went to get a change of clothes for her. Him?

"Ah get that this was an accident, but would y'all mind NOT starin', please?!"

At that everyone in the room looked away immediately. Though some eyes did try to sneak little peaks when Applejack had his eyes turned away.

"Please tell me you can undo this, Zecora!"

"I will do what I can, this I can promise you. Return home for now, and do what you normally do. This will require time for sure, if we ever intend to find a cure!"

With that, everyone left Zecora's home and made their way back to Ponyville.

-End

Author's Note

This was a random idea that popped into my head a few days ago as I re-watched the series. Not sure how to progress with this, but I'll try to think of somethin'. For now, here's a taste. Just click on the link provided in the story to check out how my rule 63 AJ came out. :3

Dealing

"Ah appreciate everyone's support with all this. Ah honestly wouldn't know how to deal with all this on my own."

A now fully clothed Applejack stepped out from his room, clad in a borrowed pair of overalls, a red flannel button-up shirt (left open) and a white tank from Big Mac, seeing how his current size, though still larger then a normal girls' attire, was too tight to wear. He was adjusting the buttons on his shirt as he stepped out with his friends.

"I'm so sorry about all this, Applejack! I didn't realize-"

"Now don't you go blamin' yerself, Twilight! You didn't know about the andradite, neither did Zecora for that matter. So it was no one's fault."

Applejack stepped up to Twilight and laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder, smiling at his friend. Twilight looked up with a relieved smile on her face and nodded up at Applejack.

"Alright! Seriously! Is it me, or does anybody else feel an extreme weirdness about all this?!"

"Now Rainbow, I'm sure it must be very stressful for Applejack too.", a compassionate Fluttershy calmly chimed.

"Fluttershy is right, you guys. Until we can reverse the effects of this spell, let's try and help her out as best as we can!"

"Him, dear.", Rarity corrected.

"Oop! Sorry."

"No worries, girls. This'll be a bit....weird to work with, but we can do this! And Ah'm confident that Twilight and Zecora can fix this. It'll just take time, that's all."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Sorry, AJ. I mean, it's like the poison joke all over again! Only instead of Flutterguy-"

At hearing the familiar name, Fluttershy squee's in slightly bashful manner.

"-now we have a Jack of an Applejack to deal with!"

Applejack adjusted his Stetson in a nervous gesture, clearing his throat in an attempt to calm himself. He didn't know why, but he got this feeling that many troubles were just waiting 'round the corner. A tug at his rolled up sleeve made him snap out of his reverie.

Applejack turned his head to find an overly inquisitive (not to mention, overly enthusiastic) Rarity stretching her compact measuring tape along his arm, humming in unspoken affirmations as she took down the measurements.

"Uh, can Ah help you, sugarcube?"

"Terribly sorry, darling! But I simply can't let you walk around in your brother's attire! No! This calls for more.....unique!"

Rainbow Dash scoffs loudly at hearing that. Pinkie bounces between Rarity, who was still holding onto Applejack's arm, and Applejack.

"Is that why you've been staring at AJ the way Rainbow stares at a full mug of cider?"

Rarity flinches back, as if burned by Pinkie's words.

"I...That's....N-Not in the slightest, Pinkie Pie! I'm merely concerned for our friend Applejack is all!"

Fluttershy quietly came up to the friends.

"Um, Rarity?"

The seamstress looks towards the docile soul behind her to see the pink haired girl point to somewhere beyond her sight. She turns toward where Fluttershy was indicating, and her eyes widened at what she saw. When she had flinched earlier, Rarity had coiled her arms around Applejack's arm as if she were hiding behind it, while a bemused Applejack looked at his fashion-forward friend, eye brow arched in the silent question "What the hay are you doin'?"

The pale skinned fashionista cleared her throat and calmly released Applejack's arm, smoothing out the wrinkles left on his sleeve while maintaining a lady-like poise and sophisticated air. Not in the cold manner in which the farmer was used to getting, but more along the lines of trying to maintain whatever dignity she could salvage from this.

"My apologies, Applejack darling. I....acted a bit forwardly."

Applejack cleared his throat a little uneasily as he scratched the back of his head, casting his eyes everywhere else except at anyone else's eyes while shuffling his bare feet against the floor boards.

"S'alright, Rares. No uh, No harm done."

Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Twilight watched the spectacle in silence. Pinkie then leaned in towards the others, whispering a lilting "Awkward~" and making everyone else nodding their heads in agreement.

A ringtone chirped noisily then, making everyone present jump up in alarm. Twilight reached into her pocket and saw that it was Zecora calling her.

"Ooh! I gotta take this! Hopefully, we can get this whole thing settled soon."

And with that Twilight left the room, taking the call as she walked away. Everyone looked to each other, with no clue of what to do.

-End

Author's Note

Another one out there! Also, If anyone has any suggestions for this, don't be afraid to voice em! Hope you're enjoin' it so far. I know I' am! ^^

Unintended results

Applejack gave the ropes another hard pull as he secured the last of the shipment to his wagon. He wiped the sweat off his brow and nodded, pleased with his work.

"Alright! Now to get to business! Um, y'all didn't have to come out here with me, y'know."

He turned to see his friends standing by, ready to board the gallopy and accompany him the his deliveries.

"What're you talkin' about? Of course we have to!"

"Rainbow!", Fluttershy chastised her fellow Pegasus.

"Ahem! What Rainbow Dash means is, in you're current state it'd be neglectful of us as friends to allow you to be by yourself!"

"Ah was doin' just fine before all this. It ain't like Ah'm a young'un, y'know!"

"What the girls mean is, since you went and got turned into a hunky hunk we have to be stuck to you like glue! That way, we can rescue you if something happens! *squee*"

Applejack looked from a smiling Pinkie to everyone else.

"This true?"

Heads hanging, the girls nodded without making eye contact. Applejack rubbed the bridge of his nose and breathed out through his nose. Twilight had stayed behind in Ponyville so that her and Zecora could work on the cure while Applejack got his deliveries underway. Trouble was, his deliveries had to be done in Manehatten! An awkward train ride later, here they were.

'Can't get mad at 'em, girl. Er...boy? They're just lookin' out for you. They're you're friends!'

"Alright, but try not to distract me please. Ah have to deliver these barrels to several stores and a couple of restaurants. Once we're done though, lunch'll be my treat! Sound good?"

Everyone nodded happily at the offer. And with that, everyone piled into the jalopy and Applejack lead them to their first destination.

Applejack reached into his front shirt pocket and pulled out a map of Manehatten, trying to pinpoint where they were. From the backseat, Rarity tugged politely at his shirt and asked where it was they were supposed to head to first.

"You hang a right at this next turn, go down three blocks then turn left, dear."

Applejack looked between Rarity and the map in his hand, shrugged and put the map away. He then did as he always did and drawled out an appreciative "Thanks, sugarcube!", completing the gesture by tipping his hat towards his friend and turning his eyes back to the road. The girls shuddered as they saw the fashionista swoon and giggle giddily at the farmer.

"Yo! Quit your droolin'! It's weird enough as it is!", an agitated Rainbow Dash grumbled.

Rarity shook her head, making her hair sway with the movements, and turned around in her seat.

"O-Oh, my! I don't know what's wrong with me!"

The pale skinned fashionista fanned herself as she tried to compose herself. Here it was that they were accompanying their friend Applejack during a very trying time, and here was Rarity acting like a hormonal high school girl. No! She was determined to help her friend through this and help she shall!

.............................
....................
..........
....

Ohh, but that five'o'clock shadow! It was faint due to the blonde hair color, but her keen eyes could make out how it lined Applejack's chin and cheekbones nicely. And that thousand watt smile! It was the farmer's usual smile, it was clear in the way her-his eyes always seemed to gleam with a genuine rustic charm that all but screamed "Howdy!", however, it was much more alluring then any wry grin she had received from most young men vying for her attention.

"We're losin' her! Pinkie Pie! Now!"

With a stern hand salute, the pink haired party planner rummaged through her back pack and brought out her lovable toothless pet, Gummy! Giving Gummy a quick hug, Pinkie put his snout in front of a mesmerized Rarity and muttered a tiny "Sorry!" before giving Gummy a firm squeeze to his tummy. Gummy opened his long mouth and let out a loud "BURP!" right in Rarity's face, making her cough and gag from the crude stench! Pinkie made sure to feed Gummy some black licorice and boiled eggs before their trip to make the trick more effective.

Fluttershy then handed Rarity a bottle of water to fight off the rising need to hurl. Catching the noise going on behind him Applejack called out "Everything alright back there?"

"Yes! Yes, we're fine here, Applejack!", said Fluttershy.

"Yup-Yup! Totally nothing going on back here! Not a thingy-dingy!"

"Mm, if you say so."

He then returned his eyes to the road.

"Ulggh! What in Equestria was THAT?!", a now recovered Rarity rasped out as Fluttershy patted her back.

"I figured something like this would happen, either to one of us or someone else. So me and Pinkie Pie came up with a way to snap 'em out of it!"

Rainbow Dash pointed to a cheery Pinkie Pie as Gummy rested atop her hair, dozing. An oblivious Applejack stopped the jalopy as they came to their first stop.

A subdued Twilight slumped forward on the wooden table belonging to Zecora, not touching her cup of now luke warm tea. Zecora sat across from her, closing the book she had been skimming through and sighing out loud. A hollow silence hung in the air as the two sat their in thought.

"So there's a time limit?"

The wizened shaman nodded her head dismally.

"This andradite is a tricky breed, once used on those overtaken by greed. We have but a fort night, to set everything wrong right!"

Twilight groaned at Zecora's words and let her head fall against the surface of the table, letting out a muffled "ow" from doing so.

-End

Author's Note

Here's number three! Heh couldn't help listening to this, as I typed this out. Hope you enjoyed! ^^

How the hay...?

The deliveries, oddly enough, went smoother then anticipated! Sure, it was just six barrels of cider and a few Manehattenite's swooning over the new cowboy to deal with (taken care of by Pinkie Pie and Gummy) but otherwise, it went down without a hitch. And sure enough, Applejack remained true to his word, treating everyone to a huge lunch at a sit-in diner, complete with cherry pie for dessert !

Once everyone was fed Applejack rose from their table and paid for the meal. Just as everyone was heading towards the door, the farmer felt a familiar feeling rise in his middle.

'Shouldn't have drank all that cherry iced tea!'

"Y'all go on ahead! Ah gotta make a pit-stop 'fore we head out."

With a quick tilt of his hat, Applejack turned on his heel and made a bee-line for the restrooms while everyone else waited by the door.

In his rush to relieve himself, Applejack was oblivious to the waitress, tray in hand and carrying three bowls of piping hot chowder, coming out from behind the counter to bring the food to a waiting table. The two collided into each others sides, and the woman holding the tray lost her hold on it, dropping the contents onto the farmer with a startled cry. Applejack screamed out as the hot chowder splashed all over his front, soaking through his flannel shirt and tank and scorching his chest.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH! HOT! HOT! HOT!!!!!", the poor man cried out as he flapped his shirts away from his chest.

The tray and all three bowls crashed onto the floor loudly as the young waitress apologized profusely. The noise had startled the friends into checking out the commotion, seeing a pained Applejack tearing off his flannel shirt and holding his white tank away from his front, with a young, blonde waitress fretting and nervously fluttering her wings, trying to cool the chowder left on his chest.

"What is goin' on out here?!", a feminine southern drawl shouted out from beyond the double doors of the kitchen.

The double doors burst open to reveal a woman holding a clipboard in one hand while the other held the door open. She had her curly deep red hair done up in a fancy, messy updo while sporting a black and white bodice with pin-stripe skirt and black heels on her feet. The woman wore make-up, making her appear as sophisticated as Rarity, with a small mole on her lower left cheek, near her mouth. Applejack hung his mouth open as realization struck him.

"Miss cherry? Cherry Jubilee?!"

The friends immediately saw that Cherry Jubilee, apparently the manager of this establishment, was looking to be in a foul mood, covered in flour and batter, yet still maintaining a lady-like composure. To this, Rarity silently gave the woman a nod of respect.

The young waitress grabbed at a nearby napkin dispenser and started to frantically wipe at Applejack's chest, making him cry out from where the chowder had burned his skin.

"Sorry, Miss Jubilee! It was an accident!"

Letting out a heavy sigh, Cherry Jubilee sauntered over to the spectacle, her colored eyes looking tired but focused.

"Heavens! Girl, this is the third time today that somethin' like this has happened! What am I gonna do with you?"

Applejack saw the waitress shrink at the reprimand, cleared his throat and got the attention of Miss Jubilee.

"She's right, Miss Cherry. Ah wasn't looking where Ah was going and bumped into her. The fault is mine and Ah take full responsibility!"

Cherry turned her head and gave the young man a good, long look. It was scrutinizing at first, then she stared into his deep green eyes and saw nothing but honesty in them. the tired look drained from her features as her brow perked up in renewed interest.

"Well, well now~ Is what this young man sayin' true dear?"

The young waitress nodded sheepishly, wringing the chowder from the napkin into one of the bowls on the floor. Cherry Tsk'd and nodded.

"Alright then, get a fresh round of bowls for your table and clean this mess please, sugah."

"Y-Yes, miss Jubilee!"

"And you, young man!"

Applejack, still with his arms up and keeping his tank away from his chest, looked sheepishly at the woman.

"Come on over to the back and we'll get you cleaned up."

"Y-Yes, ma'am."

Cherry turned away from him as she lead the farmer into the entry way she had just come out of, with a wincing Applejack following close behind. He failed to see the coy smirk on the mature woman's face, but his friends saw it plain as day.

They all let out a collective gasp as the two disappeared from their sight and into the double doors.

"We have to get Applejack outta there pronto!", exclaimed Rainbow Dash.

Rarity let out a huff in disgust.

"Did you see that?! That old harpy of a cougar moves fast! We have to do something!"

Fluttershy fidgeted with a lock of her hair as she bit her lower lip anxiously.

"O-Oh, dear!"

"Oh, no!"

Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Rarity turned their heads to see a teary-eyed Pinkie Pie holding a lifeless looking Gummy. The poor little guy looked deflated. Literally!

"My poor Gummy's out of gas!"

With a gentle press on his tummy, the little gator wheezed out through dry gums, silently pleading for rest. Giving her pet a small peck on his forehead, Pinkie Pie placed a tired Gummy into her bag.

"Um....'scuse me."

The girls turned their attention to the waitress, who now had a new tray of steaming chowder.

"Those doors don't lock y'know. Her office is to the right as you enter, last door to the left."

Rainbow Dash leads them onward, and they make their way to the back. A timid Fluttershy backpedals back to the waitress and mutters a shy "um, Thank you" before rejoining her friends. The waitress shrugs and proceeds to her table.

"Ah really appreciate the help, Miss Jubilee.", said Applejack as he sat at her desk. By now, the chowder left on his shirt was cold and beginning to stick to his skin.

"Please, just Cherry'll do, sugah."

"Huh. Alright. Thank ya kindly, Cherry. Oh, and Ah'll be payin' for that chowder as well."

Cherry closed the door behind her and locking the door. Applejack wasn't paying attention to what Cherry Jubilee was doing, missing the subtle click of the lock. she sauntered away from the door and sat at her leather chair across from Applejack's seat.

"Oh, I know you will, sugah~. Hm, you look awfully familiar."

At hearing that, Applejack froze. His eyes darted around, trying to find a way out of this!

"Yeah. Ah uh, get that alot."

"Are you by any chance related to the Oranges? Or the Apple family?"

Applejack kept his eyes anywhere but on Cherry Jubilee, the need to lie rising in his gut and yet his tells were showing.

"A-Ah'm apart of the Apples, ma'am."

"I knew it! That ol' genuinely rustic charm is just oozin' from you, sug! What's your name, hun?"

Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!

"Uh......"

"Hmm?"

"Ah'm.......Ah'm Apple.....chip!"

"Applechip?"

"Er, yes'm."

His nose twitched slightly as he pursed his lips, eyes still glancing about nervously.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Applechip sugah~!"

"Uh, likewise, ma'am."

"Now.....what to do about your attire....", Cherry mused under her breath.

The boy was tall, broad in the shoulders and strong looking. She held her lower lip between her teeth as images flashed in her head, as an oblivious Applejack fidgeted in his seat.

'This is gettin' awkward....'

"Um....not ot be imposin' or nothin', Miss cherry, but Ah got my friends waitin' for me out there. So, if you wouldn't mind..."

"Ah, yes. Well....why don't you just sit a spell...and let yer dear l'il Cherry take care of ya~!"

After she purred out those words, Cherry Jubilee rose onto the top of her desk with a predatory grin. She batted her eyes as as her ruby red lips smiled a coy grin, inching closer and closer on all fours atop her desk and knocking everything down with a noisy clatter.

'Aw, horse feathers!'

As things began to escalate, the door was kicked in and slammed against the wall with a loud clatter. The foot that had kicked the door in belonged to Rainbow Dash, making way for everyone to rush in.

"Alright! Hands off our frie-"

Rainbow stopped mid-sentence as she took in the scene before them. A blushing Applejack held Cherry Jubilee back by her wrists as the mature woman straddled him, showing off her knee highs and red lace garter as her heels lay abandoned on the floor. The two looked back at everyone, who were staring at the spectacle as if Discord himself had orchestrated it. Applejack looked to his friends with pleading eyes, as well as with beet red cheeks.

"H-Help me!!!"

"What are all y'all doin' in my office?!"

"What're WE doing?!", Rainbow retorted.

"WE are trying save our friends' chastity, you overbearing harpy!", a fuming Rarity huffed out.

"Ain't y'all a little too short fer this ride~?"

"Please STOP with the innuendos!", a near sobbing Applejack cried out.

In an act of desperation, the young farmer shoved Cherry Jubilee onto her desk and made a run for it out the door. His friends filed out after him to ensure his escape, with a lingering Rarity still at the open doorway. When Cherry sat up on her desk, no longer dizzy from the sudden force from Applejack, the fashionista glared daggers at the woman and motioned with her fingers, "I'm watching you", and ran down the hall to rejoin her friends.

A subdued Cherry Jubilee slumped her shoulders as she remained idly atop her desk, papers strewn all over the floor while the stapler and pen rack lay on their sides from being tipped over. She pouted for a few moments before recomposing herself, setting her bodice right while fixing her slightly disheveled hair.

"Dagnabbit! So close this time. Oh, well. 'Applechip', eh? I wonder if he's another one of Applejack's kin. Nearly looked alot like her, that's for sure."

With an airy sigh, she hopped of her desk, straightened out her skirt and placed her heels back onto her feet as if nothing irregular happened, grabbed her clipboard and sauntered out of the office with a little spring in her step.

Once they were clear of the diner, Applejack and everyone boarded the nearest train going back to Ponyville. Once inside the cabin,

Applejack changed into a simple solid black tee shirt.

"Ah wanna thank y'all fer savin' my hide back there!"

"That was insane! Imagine if she knew it was you?!"

Rainbow shuddered just trying to imagine the repercussions.

"Ah tell ya, Dash, Ah can't wait till this whole mess is fixed. Ah don't get why everyone's being so dagnabbed weird around me!"

Just as he was going to take a seat beside Fluttershy, Applejack felt that same familiar tug in the groin from earlier. With a groan, he excused himself and went into the men's room. As the others got settled into their seats, a loud cry made them all jolt upright.

"HOW IN THE HAY DO YA WORK THIS THING?!?!?"

-End

Author's Note

I honestly can't remember what made me think this up, but well, here's number 4! Anything to say, please do! ^^

Testing, testing.....

A call from Twilight had everyone meeting at her place. Down in her lab, Twilight and Zecora unveiled a table full of various colored concoctions glowing in different beakers.

"What in the hay are all these s'posed to be?"

An overly excited Twilight came up beside a bewildered Applejack and looped an arm over his shoulder, a small grin on her face. 'Please don't let this be the Smarty-pants thing again!'

"I'm glad you asked that, AJ! For the past week, Zecora and I have been looking into every potion possible that could potentially reverse this. We've even made a few to try out."

Applejack turned to look at his friend. Her eyes were shining, and the smile on her face made him feel a bit unsettled.

"Isn't this a uh, bit much though?"

"Your troubled feelings are quite sound, but you've no time to mess around."

"She's right. We've taken up too much time just brewing these. If memory serves me correctly, we now have only three days to try and get you back to normal."

Applejack ran his hand down his face as a groan escaped him. "Swell."

"Why so many potions though?", a curious Rarity asked.

"So many brews we did find, more so were the same in kind."

"Too many of them had reversing abilities, so it was hard to see which one would be a sure fire hit. So we decided to try the ones that were most promising!"

"Ooh! Ooh! Can I try one of the light-up juices? Ooooh! This one looks yummy!"

Pinkie Pie tried to down a glittery brew from one of the vial until Twilight came and retrieved it from her party animal friend, followed by a loud "Awwwww!"

"Sorry, Pinkie. But Applejack has to try these out."

"Oki-doki-loki!"

"A-All these?!"

Twilight and Zecora nodded in unison. Applejack let out a resigned breath and sat at the table.

"Alright, let's get this over with then. Now which one did y'all want me to try first?"

The scientist in Twilight Sparkle made the girl giggle too cheerfully as she took one of the beakers and handed to the farmer. It's contents was a vibrant green color, reminding him of those glow sticks kids play with on Nightmare night.

"Why don't we start with this one? It's made from laffodile's and baby dragon's breath."

He took the vial from his enthusiastic friend, the ominous glow of the brewed batch made him gulp audibly. Even if he hadn't have asked, Applejack could tell these were ingredients from the everfree forest. However, if one of these mixes held the cure then he'd have suck it up and try each one.

He wet his lips and brought the vial up to his mouth, took a breath and threw his head back as he downed the drink in one go. A bitter and burning sensation seized his throat, making him cough and sputter toward the end of it. He smacked his lips and everyone waited for the result. After a few beats of silence, nothing appeared to have happened.

"Ah'm not feelin' a-"

His words were interrupted as he let out a loud "EEEEHAAAWW!" from his open mouth. In a start, Applejack clapped his hands over his mouth, closing it and making the braying stop. Everyone cringed and groaned at the display.

"Fail!", an overly amused Rainbow Dash hollered out, followed by a small elbow to her rib from Fluttershy.

"Ooh, guess not. Luckily, we whipped up a counter-active potion to these brews."

As Twilight reached for another vial, full of a fucia colored liquid, Applejack tilted his head away from her. Hands still over his mouth, he muffled out an unsure, and unintelligible, question. With a roll of her eyes, Twilight held out the concoction to him.

"I told you, everything needs to be tested. So far, the potions responded to this one in a very positive way."

"What Twilight says is true, none blew up when mixed with this brew."

Applejack deadpanned at them before shrugging and drinking in the remedy for the remedy. This one went down a bit more easier, with a soft taste of berries even. He then cleared his throat and attempted to speak.

"Ah reckon...that was a miss."

Twilight and Zecora nodded dismally and tried another one.

Each brew had different results, all of which were, as their athletic friend like to hoot out, "fails".

One made Applejack grow antlers, wings and a single tusk.

"Fail!"

Another made his skin red, with black pincers for hands and an overly curled goatee.

"Fail!!"

The fourth brew was even weirder. Having drank it, Applejack grew three times his size. The pigment of his skin changed from tan to a lavender, his hair grew longer and was now black and he had claws at his fingertips instead of normal digits. What's more is....to his rear was a long tail and on his back were leathery wings.

"Fail!!!"

"Dammit, Rainbow! If you shout out another- Whoa! M-My voice! What-"

Rainbow howled out in laughter as her legs buckled beneath her, making her fall and literally roll around on the floor, laughing her butt off.

"Y-You....sound like....Flu-Flutterguy!", she cried out in between laughs.

"Hey!"

A distraught Applejack groaned out as he slid a clawed hand over his face.

"Here. This is the last one."

Twilight reached the last vial sitting on the table and handed it to Applejack.

"What about the counter-active potion?"

"I'm afraid you drank the last one after the last miss. You'll have to just take this one straight away."

He groaned inwardly, wary of this last brew. It was a vibrant magenta and didn't look as foreboding as the others did. With a hopeful sigh, Applejack threw his head back and downed it in one gulp. As soon as the contents were gone, a loud burst of a magical cloud boomed and shrouded Applejack, making everyone else cough and choke on the bright colored smoke. The flavor reminded him of punch though, so it went down fairly easy, just as the potion had.

"I *ack* don't remember that one making that sort of reaction before!", Twilight sputtered out amidst the smoke.

"This *cough* troubles me so, that's not how it's supposed to go!"

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy beat their wings and blew away the light pink cloud, revealing Applejack standing in the middle of the room, still a man and coughing up the dust, batting it away from his face with his hat.

He groaned and wobbled on his legs, looking like he was on the brink of collapse. A concerned Rarity and Fluttershy caught his arms and helped him to sit.

"Careful there, Applejack!"

"Darling, you must settle down for a moment. Try and catch your breath."

He shook his head and turned to his right, seeing the cerulean eyes of the fashionista. A curious grunt came from his throat and Applejack spoke to his friend....in a very peculiar manner.

"Qu'est-ce que c'est? What is zis....magnificent sight I have beheld?", he drawled out with a heavy accent.

"........Hunh?"

Applejack turned to his left and saw a very nervous Fluttershy holding his arm, making him arch an eyebrow.

"Une petite fleur~ How delightful."

The shy flyer eeped out and darted behind Pinkie Pie, leaving Rarity with the funny-sounding Applejack.

"Twilight, what the hell's wrong with him?!", exclaimed Rainbow Dash.

"I-I haven't the slightest."

She spotted the vial at her feet and picked it up, examining it. A slight gasp came from Zecora as she saw what Twilight held in her hand.

"Oh, no! This is very dire. That was no potion, it was punch with the 'hearts desire'!"

"WHAT?!?!?!", everyone cried out in unison.

Applejack was oblivious to the situation as he gazed amorously at Rarity, grinning from ear to ear as he took a gentle hold of her hand.

"Uh....A-Applejack, darling, why are you looking at me like that?", Rarity stuttered out nervously, edging away slightly.

"So formal, mon amour~ Is it the playing of the 'coy' you wish to do? This I will be playing for you, ma chérie~"

He then ducked his head down and planted a kiss on her knuckle, earning a collective commotion from their audience. Rarity, on the other hand, stood aghast and confused.

"Wh-Who.....Who are you?", she whispered, unable to find the right volume at the moment.

Applejack stopped making out with her hand and looked up at her, eyes glazed over in the tell-tale sign of longing.

"Izn't it obvious?"

He saw her shake her head fearfully.

"I' am Applejack! Your lover!"

As if to fortify his claim, he then kissed up her arm, above her shoulder until his lips noisily smacked her cheek with an amorous kiss, all the while with everyone looking on in numb horror.

End

Author's Note

Well......this was.....just....wow. A virtual cookie to anyone who can get the references! ^^ And the last part was inspired from this clip. Heh heh heh!

Fueling the fire.

A paralyzed Twilight sparkle stood aghast over the chaotic mess on the table. Beakers lay strewn about, with little droplets and puddles of remaining potions. Among the clutter lay the lone beaker that had once held the last concoction, which in fact was really the remnants of both the hearts' desire brew and the love poison. Zecora came up to the young scholar and laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Do not relent just yet, we need only to try another set."

Twilight turned numbly to look at the shaman woman. Seeing her calm eyes and small smile made her nod her head in agreement. Taking in a breath through her nose and letting it out through her mouth, while sweeping her arm from her eye level to over her chest, Twilight was able to calm herself down and think.

Meanwhile, a frazzled and confused Rarity tried to stave off an eager Applejack's advances as his hands pawed at her. His grin never left his face as he cornered her against the wall of Twilight's lab, placing a hand against the wall beside her head and effectively trapping her. She found confidence to be admirable, (not to mention downright enticing) but even she has never been met with such brazen audacity before. Sure, most guys who had approached her had their strengths and weaknesses, but this....he was too sure and so unyielding, and yet at the same time, she had this feeling in the pit of her gut that told her he wouldn't deal harshly with her, nor force her. Still......

"Ah, what iz ze matter, my little love hors d'œuvre? You seem...on edge~."

She let out a small squeak as Applejack brought his hand up to rest along the crook of her neck, his fingertips barely touching her curled tresses as his thumb brushed leisurely along her jaw. Rarity tried to speak, however the smoldering look in his green eyes made her mouth dry and short of breath.

"Oh ho ho ho! Do not be fearing, Mon petit cœur~."

Applejack then dipped his head down so that he could whisper into her ear.

"I will not be doing much of the biting....at least not too hard~."

Rarity felt her legs wobble as she felt his hot breath rush against her ear, the sensation of it making her shudder. When she felt his teeth close over her earlobe (surprisingly missing her earring entirely and getting the flesh on the first go) Rarity jumped with a start, letting out a loud "Waaahahaah!" and pushed him away from her. He was big and as burly as Mac, but her smaller frame made her escape much easier as her little shove opened a window of opportunity.

Applejack watched as a frightened Rarity sloppily scrambled up the stairs, bounding up the steps on all fours, and ran out of the lab.

"Was eet zomezing I said?", he asked in genuine confusion as he scratched his head and looked to his friends.

Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were sitting in folding chairs sharing a tub of popcorn. Rainbow Dash, drink in hand, sipped noisily through her straw as Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie shrugged their shoulders at his question.

The funny talking farmer turned around and climbed the stairs with a spring in his step, smiling pleasantly.

"Wait for me, my little cœur de mon cœur~! Your darling iz coming to find you~!"

"Oh, my! W-We have to go after them! Um, that is, if you guys want to. We can just stay here if you like."

"Are you kidding me?! It's like watching a car crash, only funnier and without the mortality rate. We gotta follow 'em! This is too priceless to just let it stop here!"

"I agree with Dashie! Until Twilight and Zecora can find the cure, we gotta watch over hunky hunk. Who knows what'll happen if others hear the funny sounding accent?"

Smiling, Pinkie hopped up the stairs to follow Applejack and Rarity. An insistent Rainbow Dash pushed a hesitant Fluttershy towards the stairs as well, grinning behind her friend.

"C'mon Fluttershy! We gotta get a front-row seat for this!"

Fluttershy merely let out a timid squeak and pulled her turtleneck over half of her face, dreading what was to come.

Her heels clicked frantically as Rarity ran down the sidewalk. Finding a bend, she darts past the park and hides behind a newspaper dispenser, panting heavily and peeking out from her hiding spot. She honestly didn't know why she was reacting the way she was, but back there she had felt...suffocated. Being pursued was something she was used to, as others vied for her attention on a somewhat daily basis. This time however.....was entirely different. Was it because it was a friend pursuing her this time? And why now? Why, with everything that was happening? Just....why?!

Her thoughts were disrupted when Rarity felt a presence slide beside her. There, shoulder to shoulder, was a grinning Applejack looking at her with love-struck eyes.

"Hello, ma cherie~!"

Rarity let out a panicked little shout and sprang into a hard run, knocking the farmer onto his backside and accidently striking his chin with her knee. Applejack held his jaw as he felt his teeth clamp onto his lip, the disturbing little crunch sound coming to his ears as teeth pierced through the skin and making him grunt from the little stab of pain that followed.

And yet, his eyes flew to his target, watching her hair fly as she moved swiftly away from his grasp. He chuckled then, ignoring the dull pain in his now bleeding lip and grinning once again.

"Hoo Hoo~! My little sapphire iz into ze rough and tumble. I approve~!"

He then skipped after her, humming a merry sounding tune as his boots noisily hit the sidewalk. His boot hit against something as he went, making him stop to see what it was. Applejack stopped in his skipping and humming and gasped at what he had found.

"Qu'est-ce que c'est?"

Becoming desperate, Rarity dove into a nearby jewelry shop and hid behind one of the counters, ignoring the strange looks she was getting from the tellers. In her frantic state, Rarity unintentionally bumped into something, letting out a slight gasp from the unknown contact and spinning around, squeaking out an apology.

"Well! That was entirely rude!"

Rarity froze at hearing the familiar masculine voice. She'd recognize the snobby accent anywhere.

"B-Blueblood!", she said, aghast.

It was indeed Prince Blueblood standing there before the fashionista, clad in a pinstripe suit with what looked to be like fashion models on each arm, swooning over him in a sickening display, making the pale skinned seamstress cringe inwardly. 'Is that how pathetic I looked back then?', she thought to herself. Blueblood looked down at her and let out an airy laugh.

"Prince Blueblood. Have we met before?"

She didn't know whether to take that as a good thing or an insult, so she chose the former.

"Er, No! N-Not at all, Blu- Prince Blueblood!"

The blonde young man merely shrugged indifferently as Rarity chuckled nervously, wishing he'd be on his way already.

Just then, the front doors opened abruptly, the bells atop the entrance chiming wildly from the force. A winded Applejack burst through, shoving past Blueblood and his company and heading straight for one of the tellers.

"H-Hey!!", groused an irritated Blueblood.

Rarity ducked back into her hiding place, nervously biting her lower lip as she watched through the glass of the display case. She felt a sense of relief to see that Applejack was not aware of her presence.

"Puh-Pardon me, madame! I'am in ze need of assistance, if you please!"

The female teller looked shocked at his polite outburst, but maintained a professional air despite the red on his lip, poor guy looked like he got decked pretty hard.

"W-What can I help you with today, sir?"

Catching his breath, Applejack reached into his shirt front pocket and produced a small thin gold chain-link anklet, with white diamonds lined along its length in a pattern. However, the clasp and a small part of the chain holding one of the slim stones were broken.

"Zis belongs to a Mademoiselle Rarity. She dropped zis not too long ago. Can you repair zis for me s'il vous plaît?"

The young woman nodded and took the thin accessory into her hands, assured him and then disappeared into a back room. He let out a sigh of relief and leaned over the display case, letting his eyes rove over the glass.

"Pardon me!", huffed out an angered Blueblood as he tapped the farmer on his shoulder.

"Ah yes? What iz it I can be of help to you?"

Blueblood grimaced at the funny accent.

"I believe you owe me an apology, peasant."

During the exchange, Rarity peered through the glass of the display case she was hiding behind. She let out a light gasp as she saw Blueblood confront Applejack.

Applejack looked between Blueblood and the ladies hanging on his arms, confused.

"I do not understand, mon ami. What iz it that I have done?"

"What have you done? I'll tell you what you've done!"

Blueblood was becoming livid, releasing his hold on the models on his arms and taking a step towards Applejack.

"You, a lowly country bumpkin, barreled through royalty!", Blueblood shouted.

"Yeah, you freak of nature!"

"So much the uncouth giant!"

It wasn't until the two ladies behind Blueblood chimed in with their jibes that Applejack was beginning to shrink away, suddenly feeling subconscious about being in a fancy looking jeweler shop. He took off his hat and held it over his chest, struggling for words as he wrung the edges of his Stetson. This did not go unnoticed by the hidden fashionista, who saw his discomfort and felt badly for him.

"N-Now now, friends. Let's not make zis more zen it needs to be. I do apologize if I have offended."

Blueblood sneered at the farmer, narrowing his eyes at him.

"You seem...familiar."

"I uh, remember meeting you at the gala-"

"YOU were allowed to be at the gala?!", Blueblood interrupted.

"Were you there with that uncouth carnival fare peddler and that hussy who got cake all over me?"

At that, Rarity let out a growl under her breath, her fingers gripping the edges of the case in an attempt to contain her anger.

"Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit?",Applejack muttered in a harsh undertone.

"You heard me, bumpkin! Now answer your- AAH!!"

In a blur of movements, Applejack had Blueblood by the collar of his expensive suit and slammed him against the wall of the store, making the models shriek out in alarm and run out of the shop, his hat lying on the carpeted ground, forgotten. Rarity dared to peer over the display case, and was shocked to see what she saw. Applejack...was angry. Really angry! Well beyond the point of being livid, the farmer was downright pissed! His green eyes, normally soft and crinkled with a smile, were now narrow and deadly.

"You can say whatever you will of me, mon friend...."

His funny sounding accent was fading in his anger, returning to his usual country drawl.

"Y'all can spit in my face fer all Ah care, the darn lot of ya high end snobs. But let me tell you, friend..."

Applejack surged his arms upward so that he had Blueblood high up against the wall, the spoiled princes' feet dangling in the air as the farmer glared up at him. Rarity watched as the whole exchange escalated, fearing a fight will break out but at the same time feeling something else from Applejack's noble gestures. Hearing a crunch to her left, the fashionista turned to see Rainbow Dash munching away on popcorn, startling her. Without turning her eyes away, Rainbow shushed her and passed the popcorn to Pinkie Pie. To her right was Fluttershy and Pinkie, also munching on snacks. Rarity shrugs and grabs a ball of bubblegum from Fluttershy.

"If you dare to speak badly of Rarity OR anyone else Ah consider my friend, Ah can tell you right here and right now, I will skin yer hide while you're still conscious and dunk yer still twitching carcass into a vat of freshly pressed lemon juice! And if'n yer still alive, We'll take a trip to Appaloosa, with YOU on the end of a rope!"

Blueblood was freaking out at seeing an enraged Applejack, braking into a nervous sweat and hanging onto the farmers' tense arms in an attempt to try and breathe.

"I...I 'am of...r-royal bloo-"

Applejack didn't let him finish as he reared him back and slammed the prince against the wall again, making a few framed pictures clatter noisily against the wall and making him cry out in fright.

"Ah don't care if you're King Sombra himself! You don't treat nobody like that! 'Specially a lady! You may have been born with a silver spoon in yer mouth, but that ain't no excuse for havin' poor manners towards yer subjects! Now git outta my sight and learn chivalry right proper. Or so help me Celestia, you'll be praying for death to take you into its merciful embrace!"

Applejack was practically roaring in the mans' face as he spoke, making the prince in his grip snivel like a blubbering child and nod quickly. With a growl, Applejack released his hold on him, making Blueblood crash onto the floor in a frantic heap and scurry away. Applejack simply stood there, panting heavily from his rant with his fists still clenched. He then took a deep breath and let it out evenly, his adrenaline fading and making him feel as if he had just redone applebuck season all over again.

He turned to see a frightened teller standing at the counter with a felt case containing the newly repaired anklet. Guilt made a frown appear on his face as he approached the teller. She flinched but waited nervously, hand outstretched.

"Ah....Ah apologize for what you just saw there, ma'am. Um....How much i owe ya?"

As Applejack reached for his wallet the teller shook her head vigorously and thrust the box toward him.

"N-No charge, sir! H-Have a nice day!", she exclaimed with a forced smile.

With an inward groan, he left a hundred dollar bill and took the box, not listening to the teller as she tried to give him change back. Applejack turned to leave the shop when he saw Pinkie, Rainbow, Fluttershy and Rarity standing by the entryway. The guilt amplified at seeing their faces.

"Y-Y'all saw that?"

"Every bit of it, Applejack."

He groaned again and turned his face away from his friends.

"Ah-"

"That was WICKED AWESOME!!!", exclaimed an excited Rainbow Dash as she fist-pumped the air.

"What?!"

"Yeah! You took care of that meanie face Blueblood!"

"B-But Ah acted like-"

"You were just defending Rarity, Applejack. It may have been a little...excess, but you did it for a reason."

He nodded at Fluttershy's words, letting them sink into his skull. With hesitant eyes, the farmer looked to the seamstress.

"You feel the same way, Rares?"

He saw her face remain stoic, even as she approached him. With a well manicured hand, Rarity reached for the long felt box he held in his hand and took it from him. She then opened it and let out a soft gasp, hand over her mouth, as she saw her anklet shined and glittering like new! With a confused look, she looked down at her left ankle and saw that it was no longer there. She sighed and closed the case.

"You meant well, darling. I can't fault you for that. In fact, I appreciate the noble act. I can't remember a time anyone else had ever done that for me. Er, with good intentions at least. I'll admit it was a little...intimidating, but you were defending my honor."

She came closer to where he stood and craned her head to look him square in the eye. She saw all she needed, and with a sure look on her lovely face ,Rarity stood on her tiptoes and gave the farmer a soft kiss to his lips. He widened his eyes as the rest of the girls exclaimed excitedly. He got over his initial shock and brought his arms around her slim shoulders and moved his lips against her, reveling the tender contact.

Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie let out a series of "Awww's!" as Rainbow Dash made gagging noises while pointing a finger at her open mouth.

A few moments passed and the two still hadn't parted. If anything else, the kiss began to intensify, with Applejack leaning more into Rarity as loud, moist smacks could be heard. They moved their heads from side to side as the kiss became heated. Applejack brought up a hand and buried his fingers into Rarity's hair as she looped her arms around his neck.

"Hey hey! Keep it PG-13, you horndogs!", said Rainbow Dash.

With a unison of throaty moans from both the farmer and the fashionista, they parted from their kiss and grinned at each other. Rarity looked into his emerald eyes and saw a shine of magenta flicker through them as he wagged his eyebrows at her. The grin never leaving his rugged features, Applejack sauntered out of the shop while holding onto his fashionista's dainty hand.

As they all walked down the sidewalk, Applejack moved his jaw around and produced a bubble.

Author's Note

I gotta admit, this one came outta left field for me. Not sure whether to change a few things around (concerning the content, tags, etc.), but I think I'll keep things as they are. For now. Maybe. Can anyone tell who's my least favorite character in the franchise~? :)