Odd One Out

by Rinnaul

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Sex, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 5379

After six months in Equestria, Elizabeth is tired of lonely nights. Deciding that a stallion is better than nothing, she approaches Big Macintosh with an unexpected request.

Elizabeth doesn't know precisely how she wound up in Equestria. All she knows is that she's now living in what appears to be a real-life version of a cartoon she watched as a little kid. And she's the only human there.

She doesn't really mind, herself. She's made good friends here, and found surprisingly satisfying employment as a woodworker. Her libido is another matter, though.

After six months on a world totally devoid of human men she might share an evening with, she's desperate enough to try a stallion instead. Big Macintosh is a friend, after all, and seems to have the afternoon to himself...

(Oneshotober 2014—Contains HiE/FiE and human-pony relations.)

Published 2014-10-04 06:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-04 06:20:01 UTC

A Proposition

All things considered, being stuck on some sort of alien world or parallel dimension or whatever isn’t all that bad. Environment’s about the same as Earth, except a hell of a lot cleaner. Food’s good, though there’s way less meat than I’m used to. Everyone’s friendly, and they even magiced me up the ability to speak their language. Neat translation spell, too. Apparently you still learn from using it, so it trains you to speak the language naturally. You get fluent in a month or two instead of the years it can take normally.

And talking so casually about magic is another sign I’m getting used to this place. Makes sense, seeing as how I’ve been here something like six months now.

I’d tell you the story of how I got here, but to be honest, I’m not totally sure how it happened, myself. Went camping with college friends, Eric pulled out a bag of shrooms and said we should try it out, I agreed… and apparently somewhere in the middle of me tripping balls I wound up in the wrong world.

I figured out I was in totally the wrong place pretty quickly, since I was greeted by a group of tiny colorful talking horses. And I know what you’re thinking—Liz, it sounds like you’re in My Little Pony! Yeah, it does. I could have sworn the first one I met was a life-size version of my Cotton Candy keychain (vintage 1983), but I don’t think I could handle being stuck in a 1980s cartoon for girls. And her name was actually Pinkie Pie, and I’m going to chalk the similarities up to some sort of insane cosmic coincidence and move on.

Besides, I’m pretty sure cartoon ponies don’t have a rutting season.

Can you imagine? Just tuning in to the show as a little kid only to hear panting, gasping, and “BY THE SUN, NOTE, RIDE ME HARDER!”

By the way, my neighbor, Carrot Top? She’s a bit of a screamer. From the sound of it, Noteworthy is very good at what he does, and I don’t mean composition.

In fact, I get to hear that sort of thing all day, because apparently soundproofing is beyond these ponies. The polite thing is to just pretend you don’t notice.

Of course, I notice. It’s fucking hard not to. And it just serves to highlight another aspect of having been here six months—I haven’t gotten laid in six months, either. Sorry, I know that isn’t a very “girly” thing to say, but I was in college. I had a healthy sex life. Going from “every weekend (and sometimes when I didn’t have early classes)” to “sixth month dry spell” has been a little frustrating. The main problem is, of course, there’s not a single human dick within at least a one-planet radius.

I’m almost getting desperate enough to jump a stallion.

I set my current project aside and just sit and play with my knife. I’ve been thinking that one more and more often as the summer goes on. I mean, would it really be that wrong? There’s a whole genre of porn dedicated to girls doing the nasty with horses, after all. Plus, it’s not really bestiality when they’re just as intelligent as you are (or more, in at least Twilight Sparkle’s case), right?

I sit and stare a bit longer before groaning and putting the knife and the rest of my woodworking tools into my toolbox and sliding it under my stall’s counter. Turns out that hooves don’t have much in the way of manual dexterity (shocking, I know), so they’re not great for detail work like carving and painting. I’m doing pretty well for myself putting my granddad’s carving lessons to use. I think I might be as good as he was by now.

“Packin’ up already, Miss Elizabeth?” Applejack calls from her apple cart. “It’s only just past noon.”

“Maybe.” I stand and stretch before heading over to her cart. “Getting restless, that’s all. Thought I might stretch my legs a bit. Anypony up at the farm?”

“Summer’ll do that to you,” she says with a laugh. “And nopony but Macintosh. I’m runnin’ the cart today, Applebloom’s off playin’ with her friends, and Granny went out to visit Uncle Strudel. Why?”

“Thought I might walk out there and chill for a bit. Thanks.” I give Applejack a wave and start up the dirt road that leads to Sweet Apple Acres, her family’s farm. A few of the ponies I pass get idle waves, but I’m more occupied with my thoughts. I mean, beyond the whole ‘interspecies romance with what I remember as a cartoon character’ thing, it's a bit embarrassing to just go up to a guy friend and be like, ‘hey, I’m horny, wanna bone?’

That goes double when the guy in question is, once again, a different species.

I haven’t really settled on how to do this when I find myself already heading through the farm’s gates, and up the path towards the orchard. And then what little time I thought I’d have to psyche myself up for this runs out as I catch sight of something red out of the corner of my eye.

There’s Macintosh, lying against a tree at the side of the path, probably waiting for his sisters to get home. His eyes are closed, but I’m pretty sure he’s noticed me coming up the road—Mac’s a lot more observant than most ponies give him credit for.

I sigh and go over to him, dropping down to sit next to him against the tree. He flicks an ear towards me—which is often about all the greeting you get out of Macintosh. Or speech at all. Back when I was first getting to know everypony, I once managed to talk to him for five minute before realizing he was asleep.

“Hey, Mac.”

He flicks his ear again and switches the straw he’s chewing on to the other side of his mouth.

“So, uh... This might be kind of weird.”

He frowns slightly and opens one eye towards me.

I stay silent for a minute while I try to think of what to say. By the time Mac’s concerned enough to raise his head a bit to look at me, I’ve decided: Fuck it, it’s not like I've ever been ashamed of sexuality before. “So, I’m horny. Wanna bone?”

Mac stares at me for a minute before falling back into the grass laughing. And then coughing and choking when he manages to suck that bit of straw into his throat. Once I’m pretty sure he’s calming down and not actually dying, I cross my arms and roll my eyes.

“It was a serious question, Mac. Mostly.”

“Sorry. Just a bit unexpected, that’s all.” He pushes himself back up against the tree and wipes his eyes with the back of his hoof. He still has a dumb grin on his face, though. “If it had been Pinkie or Fluttershy comin’ up the road there, I woulda seen it comin’, this time of year. Maybe Twilight, even. You’re about the last one I would’ve figured on wantin’ me for that.”

“Well, I do. So how about it?” I don't mean to sound pushy, but the longer this takes, the more awkward it feels.

He leans up again and looks me over. “Hmm... Nope.”

I blink. “Wait, ‘nope?’ Just like that?”

“Eyup.” He lies back again.

“Okay, can you not do the monosyllabic thing right now? I was kind of hoping this would go better than it seems to be.”

He shrugs. “I like mares. You ain’t really mare-shaped.”

I sigh at that. “So nothing that might catch your interest with me?”

“What’s got you so worked up over this, anyways? Thought you said once that humans don’t get heats.”

“Mac.” I roll over and straddle him to look him in the eyes. “I haven’t been sexual with anypony—anybody—in six months. Every night, I fall asleep to the sound of Carrot Top screaming Noteworthy’s name. Half the time, I wake up to it, too. I spend every day surrounded by mares in heat and stallions checking them out, and there are good odds I hear or catch sight of the ones that sneak off for some privacy. I am the only sexually active creature in the whole town who isn’t getting any and I’m starting to get desperate." I lean back. "And ever since I wound up here, you and AJ have been two of my best friends, so I thought that if there was anypony I could ask, it’d be you.”

Mac studies me for a minute, then closes his eyes. “Alright.”

“Alright? Alright what?”

“I’ll give it a shot.” He nudges me and I get off of him, sitting in the grass by his side. He shifts so his legs are splayed, giving me a clear view of—and easy access to—his stallionhood. “But you’re gonna have to work for it.”

“Work for it?”

“Eyup. I’m sure you’re a fine catch for a human, but like I said, human ain’t really what I’m lookin’ for. So if you’re hopin’ to get anything outta this lil’ fella—” He shook his rump, swaying his balls a bit to emphasize what he meant. “—you’re gonna have to encourage him.”

“Little’s not the word I’d use for it.” I smile at the remark, and bend down to run my hand through the coat on his barrel and stomach, but then pause. “Mac… You’re not just doing this because I whined you into submission, right?”

“Nope.” He shakes his head. “Your whinin’ just got me thinkin’ about it a lil’ more, that’s all. Then I figured, I like you well enough, and there ain’t really a reason to not try it.”

“Thanks.” I stop running my hand through his coat to give him a hug, then push myself back up. “So, what do you want me to do?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure somethin’ out.” He settles in a bit, closes his eyes, and grins. “Ain’t a bad start, so far.”

“What? Just doing this?” I run my fingers through his coat again, tracing them over his stomach and onto his flank.

He nods. “Those feel good. Ain’t somethin’ I’m gonna get from a pony, neither.”

I smile again and run my fingers over him a couple more times, sliding lower and making sure to catch his cutie mark on the last one. That earns me a soft snort and a slight kick of a hind leg, which gets a giggle out of me. “That sensitive, huh?”

He half-opens one eye and gives me a look that would seem to be a neutral sleepy glance to most ponies. But I know Macintosh, and that look is halfway between approval and annoyance.

I stick my tongue out at his look, then go back to touching his flank. It’s kind of weird to realize that I’m honestly enjoying this, at least as much as he seems to be. I’ve already gotten over the ‘he’s not human and that is so weird’ thing. It’s just… well, species and body shape aside, I’m with a friend, making him feel good, and I guess some of that reflects back to you, you know?

I don’t normally think this much during sex. Must be thanks to how weird it is.

After teasing his flank and cutie mark for a bit, I’m finally starting to see a real reaction from him. Not just his shaft starting to swell within its sheath, but how the rest of his body responds, too. He’s just going limp under me—one bit obviously excluded—relaxing and letting me do what I want. So I decide to move things a bit further, and slide my hand up from his cutie mark, around his leg, and down to his balls.

As my hand runs up the inside of his thigh, he lets out a nicker and kicks his leg again, clearly restraining the one I’m touching and just kicking out with the other. I ignore whatever look he gives me for giggling at him this time. I lay across him, enjoying the warmth of his body as I run my hand over his sheath and cup his balls in my palm.

Macintosh nickers again and shifts towards me, like he’s asking me to do more. His breath is getting heavier against the back of my neck as I keep teasing his balls and watch his shaft swell and lengthen. I start sliding fingers up his shaft, going back and forth between that and his sack. I give his member a gentle squeeze as it becomes fully erect. It’s firm, but with a slight give, and warm. I can feel it throbbing with his pulse. And at this point, it’s just inches from my face. I run my fingers up and down his length and watch the growing drop of pre leaking from the head of his cock.

I spend a minute tracing my fingers over his shaft and just studying it. I know I’m hesitating on what I want to do next, and it’s kind of weird. I normally have no problem going down on a guy. I even like it most of the time. And it’s not like some sort of porn-fake-thing where I just love cock so much that I feel orgasmic joy at the very thought of one touching my lips. Well, part of it is just that I like how it feels to take one. But it’s also about the reactions guys give me for it. I like knowing I can have that effect on people.

Sorry, is it strange that I think about stuff like this during sex?

I put my attention back on Mac’s shaft. The drop of pre has rolled down the head of his cock and is hanging there, so I slide my hand up to the head and brush my thumb over it, getting a groan out of him as I smear his pre around a bit and keep working his shaft. He’s definitely fully erect now. I’m sure he’s feeling my breath on his head. And seeing as how he’s basically doing me a favor, I really shouldn’t keep him waiting any longer.

I lean forward just enough to reach it and run my tongue in a circle around the broad head of his cock, then flick my tongue upward across it when I finish the loop, licking the pre that had started pooling again. He gasps and thrusts towards me slightly, but I pull back just as much as he pushes forward. I want to keep this at my pace.

I keep licking at his head, running my tongue around the edge of it sometimes, teasing the center others, and sometimes placing kisses around it. I’ll admit I’m having fun teasing him as much as anything, but when he starts whimpering at the touches instead of groaning, I give him what he wants. I slide further down on him, taking his cock into my mouth and wrapping my lips around his shaft just below the head.

It’s… strangely normal. Aside from the shape, this could be just about any guy I’ve gone down on. Well, he’s definitely bigger than most guys, but hardly something that you couldn’t find on a human.

I keep going on him, sucking slightly as his shaft slides back and forth across my lips, while continuing to tease him around the edges and across the tip with my tongue. I keep stroking him with my hand, too, but I’m also using that to give his balls some attention, which he seems to appreciate even more than the handjob, considering how he groans louder and shifts around more when I’m doing that.

I start feeling the head of his cock swell even further inside my mouth, flaring out and getting almost too big for me to handle. Just as I’m trying to decide how to keep going, he pokes me in the side with a forehoof.

“Hey, hold off,” he manages to gasp out when I pause.

I pull back, his flared head leaving my lips with a pop thanks to it’s now even-larger state, and then shift until I’m turned to face him, straddling his barrel again. “Something wrong?” I ask, rubbing my jaw a bit. A girl could dislocate something on a dick like that.

He shakes his head, and I finally get a good look at the effect I’ve had him him. He’s breathless, mouth hanging open as he lays there panting. I can imagine his tongue was hanging out before he stopped me. His eyes are shut, and his mane is damp with sweat. Not much, but it’s impressive for anything to work Macintosh into a sweat.

Yeah, I've still got it.

“No,” he says after a minute. “Just you ain’t gonna get your turn if you keep goin’ like that.”

“Oh, so what, this means you’re close, huh?” I half-turn and run a finger along the side of the head of his throbbing shaft.

He groans and arches up at my touch. “Yeah. And while I ain’t gonna object to you keepin’ on touchin’ me all over…”

“…It means I’m going to miss out.” I grin and turn back, running my fingers through his coat again as I do, then reach down to unbutton my pants.

Yeah, I still wear full clothing, for the record. Sure, all the ponies around me are nude, but one, they’ve got fur coats (which I’m quickly deciding are great to touch). And two, between the way they’re built and their tails, ponies' naughty bits aren’t generally on display, unlike mine if I decided to forego pants. And going topless is right out. I’m not ashamed of showing myself off, but I’m just a little too top-heavy to make that a comfortable option on a regular basis.

Anyway, Mac catches on to what I’m doing and puts a hoof on my hand to stop me. “Not out here. Granny or my sisters might show up.” He gestures with his head towards the barn up the hill. “Up in the barn.”

I nod and push myself up off of him, biting back a groan as I stand. It's the first time I've really moved my legs since I started messing around with Mac, and the first thing I'm noticing now that I'm moving is that I am incredibly wet. I've even soaked through my jeans in one spot.

I'd say I'm either just that desperate for a good fucking, or else I like Macintosh just that much, but it's probably both.

Eager to get started on this, I hurry up the hill as fast as I can when I'm feeling every step in some interesting places. I glance back towards Macintosh, and he's not far behind, but his eyes aren't on the path, but on me. And even with the difference in species, I recognize that look on a guy.

"Macintosh, just what are you looking at?" I call back. My mouth had been a bit too occupied for teasing earlier, so I'm taking the chance to make up for it.

"You," comes the simple reply.

"Uh-huh. I'm thinking you've found something you do like about me."

"Eyup. You got me to start lookin'."

I snort a laugh at the admission as we come up to the barn door, and then push it open for us both. As we enter, I take a look around and start unbuttoning my shirt.

"So, how are we doing this?" I ask.

"That bale of hay over there," Mac says, and nods his head toward a bale sitting in the middle of the floor.

I make my way over to it, pulling my shirt off as I do, and lay my shirt across it. Then I kick off my sandals, and then pull my bra off and toss it on the floor next to the bale. Normally I'd give the guy the honor of pulling that off, but I'm not going to put pony teeth up against that clasp.

Human guys have enough trouble with it, and they have fingers.

I take it slower with my pants, since it seemed like my ass was what got most of his attention. I unbutton and unzip them the rest of the way, and then start working them down, as if they fit a good bit tighter than they actually did. Tugging at one side and then the other, I get a lot of motion out of the whole process, swaying my hips back and forth as I work my pants down. Once they’re off, they join my shirt on the bale, and I give a similar, if faster and smoother, treatment to my underwear.

Finally, I turn towards Macintosh and sit on the clothes I’d laid across the bale, leaning back and spreading my legs to expose myself totally to him. My thighs are slick from how wet I’ve been and how much I’ve been moving around, and I’m even a bit breathless at the prospect of finally having him.

“So, what do you think?” I ask him, feeling my face warm.

Shit, I’m blushing. I swear that hasn’t happened since like… my third guy.

Macintosh, what do you do to me?

If he asks, I’m blaming it on my dry spell.

“Hm…” He approaches me, eyes roaming over my body, studying it. He leans down close over me, and I shiver as I feel his breath on my bare skin. ‘Some bits are outta place. An’ some are bigger than I’m used to.”

He nudges one of my breasts with his nose, and I shiver again. I am so worked up and this cannot happen soon enough.

Mac half-closes his eyes and lowers his head down, as if inspecting my body all the way down, until he stops right at my nethers. He lets out a deep breath there, and I gasp at how it feels across my needy opening.

“Mac… What are you doing?”

“Thinkin’ of repayin’ you for earlier,” he says, and then, without warning, gives me a long lick all the way up my pussy and flicks his tongue across my clit.

I gasp, and it’s almost a shout. I push myself towards him, but he just places one powerful foreleg across my thigh and holds me in place. One half-lidded eye meets mine, and I can see the hint of a smile on his face. Of course that jerk would be laughing at—

He presses in again, closing his mouth around my mound and attacking my opening once again with his tongue. He doesn’t just lick up and down my folds, but pushes hard into me as well, and I learn another small difference between ponies and humans—ponies’ tongues are a bit larger and stronger than a human’s, and also feel fucking incredible.

He’s thrusting it into my passage like he’s fucking me with it, and it feels perfect every time. I’ve had so many guys go down on me and accomplish nothing, but somehow, Macintosh is a master at this. He pushes it in and then licks upward as he pulls back, catching my clit on the way out. Sometimes he goes right back in, sometimes he keeps teasing my clit with the tip of his tongue, and sometimes he lightens up and goes back to giving attention to my outer folds.

I’ve fallen back onto the hay bale, and all I can do is gasp and groan as I thrash around, trying desperately to grab onto something to feel the slightest bit of control over the ride he’s giving me. I clutch at my clothes, the hay bale itself, the wooden post it’s sitting against… I have a hand running through or clutching his mane most of the time, I think, but to be honest I’m just drowning in this moment and it is amazing.

After I-don’t-know-how-long of this, I come back to myself enough to feel my oncoming climax. Everything is feeling tighter and tighter, my heart is pounding, and I’m not sure I can breathe. My cries get higher and louder, and it all comes crashing together in a full-body shudder that goes along with every muscle in my body seeming to clench up and go limp all at the same time. I arch towards Mac with a scream, and then collapse back onto the hay, panting. Somewhere during all of that, I wound up with my legs wrapped around Mac’s neck. I let him go and lay limp on the hay bale.

Mac pulls away from my pussy, and then steps forward, standing over me with one of his legs on either side of the bale, looking down at me with a grin. The coat around his mouth is soaked with my juices.

“So?” He says.

My answer it to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for a hard kiss. Sure, it feels a bit weird, and I feel him stiffen and pull slightly at first, so I guess it is for him, too. But with how good that was, I don’t care who did it to me. Human, pony, doesn’t matter. I’d be kissing Spike after a treatment like that, and… okay, he’s, like, ten. Turning myself off a bit with that one.

Rarity. We’ll go with Rarity.

She’s kind of a bitch sometimes (seriously don’t know what AJ sees in her) and I’m not into girls or mares or whatever, but if she got me off this good, I wouldn’t even care about that.

After a moment, Mac relaxes and starts getting into it, returning the kiss. I can taste myself on his lips and tongue, and honestly, that sends a bit of a thrill through me on its own. I’ve never known why on that one. It quits feeling weird at all, soon enough. I quit worrying about how we’re each built, and it’s just about me and my friend and how incredible we’ve been making each other feel.

He pushes forward a bit into the kiss, and his shaft rubs across my mound. I groan, falling away from the kiss, and start letting my hands roam through his coat again instead.

“Mac,” I gasp. “I want it.”

He doesn’t make me beg, he just nods and bends down to kiss my neck, and I moan at even that little touch. He pushes forward and his shaft slides across my clit again, getting another loud groan from me, but I want more than that, and I’m tired of waiting. I slide a hand down under hip, my fingers curling around his hot shaft and earning me a groan from him this time. I guide his member towards my waiting sex and gasp as he makes contact, pressing his flesh against mine.

The broad head of his cock starts spreading me open as he slowly pushes his way into me, and I let out a loud groan and pull my hand away from his member to wrap my arms around his neck again. He gasps into my shoulder and I glance at him. His eyes are screwed shut and I can’t tell if his expression is one of pleasure or pain.

“Mac?”

“Tight,” he manages. “More’n a mare.”

He’s right about that, I guess. He’s filling me completely as he presses on despite my smaller size, and I’m feeling every bump and vein on that shaft as it pushes all the way in. Finally, he can’t go any deeper, and he pauses. I pull away from him just enough to look him in the eyes.

The two of us stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, just taking in what we’re doing. I can feel his shaft filling my entire passage, and as it throbs in time with his heartbeat I feel every pulse. It’s almost as if our hearts were connected, I feel it so strongly.

He leans down again and we kiss a second time. This one doesn’t have all the fire and passion of the first. Instead, it’s a very relaxed and pleasant kiss. I’m tempted to call it loving, but I’m not sure if Mac would agree with those sort of words being used to describe the two of us. We hold it there, just enjoying each other in every way. And then, without breaking the kiss, he pulls his shaft back, pausing for a moment just before his head would slide out of me, and then pushes his way back in.

We break the kiss with my moaning again, as he begins a slow, powerful rhythm. He’s pulling back to the very edge with each stroke, and then pushing his way back into me. The long, hard strokes are amazing, and I find myself groaning with each one, growing steadily louder each time, until I pull myself up against him and bury my face in the coat on his neck before I start full-on screaming. I curl my fingers into his mane, clinging to him as I gasp, pant, and moan with each of his thrusts.

His own groans are quiet compared to mine, but he’s giving one on every stroke as well, and breathing heavily into my shoulder just like I’m muffling myself against his neck.

He starts picking up the pace, going gradually harder and faster while still giving me those long, full strokes. All I can do in response is groan and cling to him, one hand roaming across his coat while the other remains tangled up in his mane. I start trying to push back against him each time he thrusts into me, building up to match his rhythm. I’m moaning things out constantly, but I couldn’t tell you anything I’m saying. Probably the usual sort of things—”Oh shit, Mac, never stop!”, “Oh, fuck, yes!”, “Please, I need it!” I’m pretty sure I’m matching Carrot for enthusiasm, if not volume.

I feel myself tensing up again and arch up towards him with a loud cry as a second orgasm washes over me. I shudder and pant as he continues thrusting into me even as I’m riding out my orgasm, while he’s grunting and groaning even louder now that my walls are clamping down even harder on his thick member. And his shaft is getting thicker—I can feel his head flaring out as he starts pumping even harder into me. He’s panting, nearing his own peak, and with his renewed vigor in pounding me, I’m rapidly approaching another one myself.

His thrusts are getting shorter, though he’s not losing any of his speed or force, but his breathing is getting rougher and I know he’s nearly done. It’s only a few seconds later that he gives me one last hard, deep, thrust and arches back, eyes clenched. I pull him down into another hard kiss as I feel him unload into me, his cock swelling for a moment with each thick blast of cum. Even though he has me stuffed tight with his huge cock and its flared head, he’s still pumping enough cum into me that it’s leaking out around the sides and dribbling down my thighs.

The forceful kiss gradually fades into another gentle one as the waves of his cum slow down, and I feel his member slowly shrinking and softening inside me, letting a new torrent of his seed spill out of me each time a bit more space opens in my passage.

We lay there watching each other’s faces, panting, with matching dumb satisfied grins.

“Hey, Mac?” I say when I can manage to talk again.

“Yeah?”

“Thank—”

“WHAT IN TARNATION?!” The barn door slams open, and I wince when I recognize the voice.

Macintosh freezes, eyes wide, at the sound.

I manage to peek around him enough to give an awkward wave. “Hi, Applejack…”

Author's Note

I was going to link a picture of that keychain, but I can't find it.

And going to admit, I started getting a little bored with this towards the end. I'd been working on it off and on for a few days, and just wanted it done. Sorry if the quality drops a bit there.