The Twisted Adventures of Twi and Spikey

by RarityEQM

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Sweetie Belle, Applejack, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 1104

Twilight comes to the rescue to help Sweetie learn about a research paper.

Sweetie is assigned to do a research paper on the topic of pony reproduction. Uncomfortable with explaining the 'ins and outs' of the process, Rarity asks Twilight for help.

Published 2014-11-19 00:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-19 00:40:04 UTC

That filly loves her homework...

The day was bright and sunny when Sweetie Belle barreled out of school and went racing towards the Carousel Boutique, pleased to finally be done with her day. Inside, her big sister was waiting with a cheerful smile and a warm hug to greet her baby sister.

"Darling! How was school today?!" Rarity beamed, fuzzling her sister's mane with a loving smile. Sweetie Belle hugged back happily, but frowned when the question scrapped past her ears.

"Oh, um, it was ok, I guess. I have to do this stupid report by Monday, but I don't know any of the material. Can we go to the library?" Sweetie squeaked. Rarity beamed quietly at her sister and swiftly nodded her head.

"Oh, of course we can, Sweetie. I'm sure Twilight would be willing to help you out with whatever you need help studying! Whats the topic of the report?" She asked quietly, already preparing to take a brisk trot down to the library with her young sister.

"The anatomy and reproduction of ponies!" Sweetie exclaimed glumly, shaking her head as she meandered along next to her older sibling. "Do you know anything about reproduction, Rarity?" She asked. Rarity's ears splayed slowly against the back of her head and she bit along her lower lip.

"Ummmmmmmm. No. No I do not. That is a question for mother and or father. Oooooor Twilight! Ha! Yes! Yes, let us ask Twlight!" Rarity squeaked nervously, as the two of them headed into Golden Oaks.

___________________________________________________________________________

Squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka ...

Rarity sat quietly, glaring at Twilight who sat across the table from her, blushing a furious shade of red while the bed in Sweetie's room above them squeaked violently.

Like it had been for the last two hours.

The uncomfortable cycle of sound came to an abrupt halt however, forcing both unicorns to perk their ears, and Sweetie appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. Her beautiful fur coat was disheveled and matted down and her bi toned mane was frizzled beyond belief. She stumbled into the kitchen walking with odd, limping strides and opened the refrigerator. Prying out a carton of milk, Sweetie took a breath, threw her head back and chugged it.

All of it.

Panting quietly, she turned and peered at the elder ponies in the room and gave them a wiiiii-i-i-i-i-ide grin.

"Hello Twilight. Um, thank you so, so SO much with helping me with my reproduction report at school! I'm, um, I'm really really learning a lot from those ponyquins you bought to life to help um, help me visualize the subject matter. I, uh, I have to um, I have to go back to studying, now! Okaygottagobye!" Sweetie squealed, racing back up the staircase and into her room, where she slammed the door shut.

Squeaka squeaka squeaka squeaka

Rarity glared quietly at Twilight, ears splayed back, eyes narrowed and a quiet chuff of anger steamed from her nose. Twilight grinned nervously and adjusted her nonexistent collar around her throat.

"Sooooooooooo, um h-how does, er, how does Sweetie like the um, help I gave her f-for the project?" Twilight whimpered quietly, fixing a hopeful grin towards Rarity's glaring face.

BAM BAM BAM BAM went the ceiling

A piece of plaster dropped off the ceiling and landed on Rarity's head. The unicorn remained un-phased, however, simply staring directly ahead into Twilight's eyes.

"I have concerns." Rarity hissed quietly, the venom dripping in her voice enough to eat through plywood, Twilight was sure. She winced.

"Yes Clancy! YES! YES!!! OH, MY, SWEET, CELESTIA, YES!! N-now now, Mortimer, w-wait your turn. Theres plenty of Sweetie to go around, I think we just need a new position to, um, oooooo t-that will work Arnoldo...t-that'll work just fine..." Came a high pitched squeaky voice that flooded through the floor boards.

"She named them? ...Mortimer...Clancy? Arnoldo? " Twilight sputtered impishly in confusion, peering up at the ceiling.

Rarity did not reply, with any sort of verbal response, but instead shot Twilight a look that would, (if looks could kill) be classified as a military grade explosive device.

"Soooooo should, um, should I-" Twilight squeaked.

"FIX THIS!" Snarled Rarity, but before the vicious outburst could send Twilight scrambling up the stairs, There was a conveniently timed knock on the door. Twilight and Rarity glanced at one and other quietly before Rarity climbed to her hooves to answer the door. Which turned out to be Applejack.

"Howdy Sugah' Cube. Jus here ta pick up Apple Bloom!" The cow gal explained cheerfully. Rarity's ears flattened against her skull.

"What? Apple Bloom isn-" She explained, before a squeal rocketed from the upstairs room.

"Is that Applejack?! Applejack, um, Ah'm uh, gonna spend the night over at Sweetie's, if that's ok?! Ah'm helping Sweetie Belle um, study, and um, we're really getting into this learning stuff and it's really gettin' into us!!" Squealed a new voice from upstairs.

"How did you get into my house?" Rarity shouted towards the upstairs.

"I came in through the upstairs window, cause Sweetie didn't want to come down stairs because of.......reasons," came Applebloom's reply.

"Well shucks, if it's ok with Rarity, I don't reckon I have a problem with it." Applejack chuckled. Rarity stared towards the farm pony, then upstairs, then back towards the farm pony.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?!" Rarity called.

"My mouth was full!" Said Applebloom. That was logical. That made sense. Don't talk with your mouth full was something every filly was taught. Rarity couldn't blame her for that.

"Jus waitin' on your a-okay sugah cube." Applejack beamed towards Rarity, who forced a smile in return.

Squeaka Squeaka Squeaka Squeaka Squeaka went the ceiling.

"That would be just fine. " Rarity explained. Now was not the time to explain to Applejack that her sister lost her virginity to a mannequin named Arnaldo. No, not the time at all. As Applejack turned and trotted back to the farm, Twilight stepped up next to Rarity with an impish grin.

"W-well, you know, at least they're learning." Twilight whimpered.

"You know you're going to jail, right?" Asked Rarity. Twilight sighed.

"I know." She lamented.

To Sweetie's credit, she got an A+.

And Twilight got 10-20 years.

Author's Note

Insomnia story.
4:45.
Can't sleep. Have a fever.
Feel silly. Not my best work, but it's a throw away story, but maybe it'll make somebody giggle. I'll edit this in the morning. x.x It's a fast and stupid joke story anyway.
Wh-what do you MEAN 'cartoon' darling? I, I don't know what you're talking about... Rick and who? >.>