A word of gratitude
"Hm things are looking up aren't they?"
You mutter to yourself as you sit at your desk. The desk was a gift, like almost everything you own in this world. Even the roof over your head was given to you.
The candlelight flickers as the warm breeze form the outside wanders its way inside your second story window. And with it comes the many fresh and sweet smells of summer. You take a deep breath of the fragrant air. A wistful smile comes to your mouth as the simple joy of something so sweet washes over you.
How could I ever ignore things like this?
You wonder to yourself. Your thoughts coming back to your task at hand. You grab the quill form the inkwell placed at your desk. It is not your preferred writing utensil. But you want this to be special.
You have tried to write these pages for days at an end now, but it never really felt quite right to you, the words you try to put on the paper just feel... empty. So you try and try again.
Dear everypony,
You give out a small chuckle, you remember all the crap you gave the word 'Everypony' when you first came here, and now it's almost second nature.
Thank you, Thank you for... Everything you have ever given me, and I don't mean just the house, the furniture, the cloths... But also for saving me. And again, not just from the Manticore on my tail when I came screaming in to your town.
Again you give out a small chuckle from the fond memories of running for your life. You ended your little jog head first in to the wall of a house that seemed to have snuck up on you while you were trying to look back and see if you lost the beast. The next thing you really remember was a pair of light blue eyes, and some yellow and a light pink blurs in your vision. At first you thought you might have hit your head a little to hard. But no.
I mean saving me from myself. I might not have shown it very well when I first arrived, but I was on my last legs, my mental state was noting to boast at, and my emotional state was even worse. Since before I came here, my life, it had been a living hell, or living Taurus as you would call it. Everyone I loved and cared for... had been lost to many too many reasons to count. I was never accepted for the one I was, I was beaten, ridiculed, and humiliated. And... even if I tried to fight back, I got no where, I was too weak to be able to stand up too it all. Each day ended with tears for someone, usually me. So I stopped feeling, I put on a mask and a suit, and never took them off. Figuratively speaking of course.
You added that last part in fear that they would misunderstand, and worry. Since you wear a suit close to all of the time, you just liked it, not a whole lot to it other then that. And since one of your friends, was such a enthusiast for cloths, she gladly made you some custom articles to wear, free of charge...
You give the fine fabric of your white shirt a little gentle rub with the tip of your fingers, you smile at the gift given. This was the first thing she made for you, and you love it to death. You still feel a little guilty for it though, and you still aim to pay her back in some regard. She can't refuse you forever.
Slowly I became dead inside, my heart and capacity for love just wilted and died, I was little to nothing more then a husk, going through my day, clinging to a dim hope, that never existed in the first place. All the while, with a plastic smile on my face, simply ignoring the true emotions behind the mask, that soon became more and more numb. Like a thriving plant, denied all light and water, becoming pale and limp, soon to wilt and die.
You let out a sigh, just writing this gives the room a dark and dreary gloom over it. Remembering your past, it wasn't something you particularly enjoyed. But this is a very important thing to document, for them to truly understand how much it all means to you.
As you might understand... I wasn't healthy, in the slightest. Every once in a while, the mask would crack and the result... It was just pathetic, and some times even dangerous. I would let all the sadness out at once, and I just... It didn't end well when it happened.
You gently grip your right arm, rubbing it up and down feeling some old marks, even through the fabric of the shirt. You swore when you came here, and realized what kind of place this was, to never let marks like that come by your own hand, ever again.
I was on a one way track in to despair, but you, all of you, you pulled me away from that path. And you made me take off my mask, letting me finally, after all this time, breath again as myself.
You get a deep feeling of, pride, and gratitude to be able to have friends like these as you finished up that line.
Yes, it took time. It wasn't an instant transformation, from broken to fixed again. But I will admit, that the second I came in to town, with a monster cat in tow. The way some of you flocked around to help... The way you protected your own, and a complete stranger, one that could easily be mistaken for a monster of the Everfree. The way you included me... It did spark something in me. But a spark on wet wood wouldn't exactly ignite it on it's own.
The second spark, well it came when I had stopped staring at you like I was looking at paradox, and was shaken out of my amazement. And got the time to explain how lost and confused I was. And how quickly you were willing to offer your help, sure some of you were apprehensive, interrogating me to some extent, not that I blame the flying flash of color. But come on, a spy? Hahah.
You have to laugh a little bit at the antics of the flying acrobat. She could be pretty damn adorable without even knowing it. In the innocent in her brashness kinda way.
Time and time again, your kindness and just utter lack of concern for... Well for what I am, your selflessness in helping me get on my feet, and your examples in how to lead a life. Like a hammer, it all broke through the hard, stone shell of my core, giving it light and room to, once again grow.
While this was happening. You helped me again. In more ways then you could think. The first few months of my arrival, I was dead set on trying to get home. And you all did your best. Hell the entire town did their best. But the ultimate news... That the residence librarian came with... it was to be frank, freeing. I can never return home, and for that, I am glad, it gave me a new perspective, it stopped me from looking back, and instead looking forward.
And, with the new mindset, a healing heart, and so many good things around me, pulling the actual me free of the mask I had placed on myself over the years, was only a matter of time. With all of this, I took up a simple job at first, during the apple season I realized i could repay the stetson wearing mare a bit by helping out around the farm. From there I met a few fillies that was just... amusing, and adorable. Their antics becoming a highlight of my day while picking apples. And I'll admit, I gave them a few bad ideas. And I got in to quite a bit of trouble with them.
Again you let out a laugh as you look over the page, your mouth curling in to a wide and genuine smile, you wince a little from the pain of the recent crusade, whiplash is a bitch. The crusaders... One thing you remember in particular was when you were enlisted to help them build a dam... How they got the materials you have no idea, but they needed the raw strength of a adult. So you were, partly against your will at first, dragged to help them build a concrete dam. The result is still visible in the eastern most park, much to your amusement.
The first year I spent with all of you went so fast, I wasn't even prepared when the absolutely confounding and delightfully confusing party pony popped in my face with a "HAPPY ONE YEAR IN PONYVILLE!!" Scream, and a colorful invitation to SugarCubeCorner for a party.
Hehe, the happiest and most eccentric mare in town... There has always been something behind that smile of hers, and you knew it from the second you met her. Getting to know her was a difficult task, but with the common ground you both shared, it made things easier. Tears were exchanged and truths were let out. And for the first time in years, you've seen the mare tired, and you still see her like that sometimes, tired. You're a little unsure of the rest of her friends can see her like that, or if it's just that you can read the mare better then anypon- Anyone, second nature and all that... But each time you see her like that, you can't help but offer a shoulder and a ear.
So in short, you have been a blessing, all of you. You have taught me to enjoy my life again, little and big things alike. You have thought me to be myself, and how to open my heart to those around me. You have even thought me to love again. Yes, love, in a romantic sense, I met a mare a few months back. I know this might come as a surprise for many of you, but there is a mare that is able to overlook the fact that i'm a human and she's a pony. Her name is Desert Flower, and she's... She... I don't even have words.
You can't help but grin, the pure happiness that fills your body when you even think of her. She's a angel pure and sweet, and you can't believe your own luck.
Now came the most difficult paragraph. How to put the pure all the happiness and gratitude on to the page.
So yes. I owe all of you, my friends, hell I'd even go so far as to call you family, pretty much my entire life. And to each and every one. Thank you, Thank you for giving me the chance to move on, to grow and become something more. I love you all with my entire heart and soul, and I aim to some day, repay you for all you have done for me, even if you didn't quite know that you were helping me in such a way. But now... Now I believe it is time that I moved on to something that I've dreamed of, seeing the world. I've saved up quite a few bits and Flower wants to join me. So within the end of the week. We'll leave to see what's out there in the world, so by the time you get this, I won't be around, but. Don't worry, home is where the heart is, and my heart is right here in ponyville. With all of you. And I'll always return home.
It wasn't perfect, far from it, but you think it was more then enough.
The warmth of the morning air filled your lungs again as you set the pages to dry before you, folded them up in to a envelope once the ink has settled, finishing by putting your signature. It was hardly readable, but recognizable anywhere, and a wax stamp. Old school as it might be.
The door behind you opens and you see a soft, and slightly bed head ridden pony peer inside, while rubbing one of her tired brown eyes.
"What are you doing up so early?" She asks, barely aware of her current visual state, her black mane standing on end, pretty much in every direction conceivable. And that was one of the things you loved about her, like this she was the pinnical of adorable.
"Just finishing up something I've been meaning to do for a long time now." You say with a smile and stand up from your chair, stretching your back a little bit. Looking to the mare that held your heart, with the dearest smile you could muster, your chest filling with nothing but affection and care for the little pony.
"Now let's get you so some breakfast. Pancakes sound good?" You ask as you leave a little peck on her nose as you walk past her. Leaving your work at your desk. She let's out a few sweet giggles and nods, following you closely, swaying her body slightly with her every step, with a special smirk on her face.
You close the door to your study, leaving the hours you put in to the paper on your desk. Aiming to give it to a special owl when the time comes.
