Insane Ramblings

by Unbridled Dolly

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Princess Luna, Spike, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Wonderbolts, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 1250

In a cruel world, magic is nothing but the insane ramblings of the delusional... until the genius Twilight Sparkle discovers the last spark left in Equestria. Now hiding from the angry Queen and her vicious guards, Twilight needs a plan, and fast.

The asylum is abuzz with the whispers of the sick and mentally impaired, as it has been for hundreds of years. "Protect the prince," they whispered. "Find the magic," they whispered. "Use the Elements," they whispered.

When a new, especially unusual phrase is added to the list of centuries old delusions, the genius prodigy of the Queen, Twilight Sparkle, takes it upon herself to investigate. However, the Queen's response to her findings send her reeling across half the country, hiding from her mentor's rage by following the vague instructions from the dreams of crazy ponies. Confusing answers only reveal more twisted questions as Twilight tries to save herself, four special ponies, and-- to her sanity's shame-- a dragon that somehow breathes green flames. The only thing keeping her going is her original quest, an insane command that she'd die to fulfill.

"Return the gentle Moon on the night of the scorching Sun."

Basis of the Sky-Verse.

Each of the Mane Six will be present, but Twilight Sparkle is still the main character. Rainbow Dash is also a very important character, and I will not go into specifics as to which Wonderbolts will be present. There is, after all, a limit to the amount of character tags. They may be subject to change, but it'll probably stay the same.

I have no clue where this idea came from, and it's probably ridiculously overdone on this site, but I hope you enjoy it anyways. As always, if you find anything you dislike or like, please let me know through a comment or a PM. All constructive criticism is welcome!

Beautiful new cover art drawn by the lovely Eztp (2135D on here). A billion thanks to you!

Please note that I will be modeling the asylum mostly off seventeenth century lunatic asylums.

Published 2015-01-01 20:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-01 20:40:02 UTC

Tezcatlipoca

"Luna! This isn't worth it!"

"It is worth everything, Celestia! There can only be one princess in Equestria, and that princess will be me!"

A sob escaped Celestia's lips as she revealed the glimmering gems circling her head like a halo. Tears dripped down her cheeks as she reluctantly charged up her horn, commanding the gems to spin faster and faster, breaking off from the soul within the dark alicorn opposite her.

In a soft voice, she said, "I'm sorry, Sister," pointing her boosted magic at her dark counterpart. With a grimace, Celestia laboriously shot the beam of magic at the force that had taken over her sister, who seemed unable to cast any protection spell. The darker one shouted with ferocious anger as a pale rainbow of dull light shot out of Celestia's horn-- and did absolutely nothing. Both alicorns were frozen with surprise, until the dark one began laughing.

"How will you stop me now that your precious elements couldn't summon enough magic?! There's nothing you can do now!" She reveled in her victory, howling to the heavens and flailing in midair with the strength of her laughter. While she was celebrating, Celestia took a deep, calming breath and started again, going completely unnoticed by her cackling opponent. Once more, she charged the gems with her magic, but this time, she poured in all she had. The dark one noticed her when the glowing began, and lazily shot off an electric blue laser of destruction at the concentrating alicorn. But by this point, the halo of gems had formed a barrier around Celestia, and the beam was deflected.

"Accept your defeat, Celestia! There is nothing you can do, so bow down to your new ruler, Queen Nightmare Moon!" The dark alicorn calling herself Nightmare Moon growled at the pony ignoring her, sending a flurry of attacks at Celestia. When that didn't work, she began charging her horn for a stronger attack, joining her sister in gathering more magic. Celestia herself was ignoring Nightmare Moon for the most part, summoning more and more magic. 'Just a day,' she pleaded in her mind, 'just until she cools down. Don't keep her for too long. Just until she comes to her senses.'

When she ran out of innate magic, Celestia began gathering the arcane energies from her surroundings. She pulled in more from the air, the ground, the plants, growing more desperate as she felt her sister copying her. Celestia began pulling magic from the ponies in the castle beneath the warring sisters, and from the surrounding city, gathering it from as many ponies she could reach. Sensing the energy beginning to pulse with strength around Nightmare Moon, Celestia panicked, forcing it from everything around her, from farther and farther, reaching across the land, sweeping farther and farther away. Soon she would have enough, soon she would be able to bring her sister back, soon she would be able to release, and oh dear Creation it hurt, there was too much, it was getting unbearab--

***

Twilight Sparkle started awake and shot out of bed at the sound of a familiar shriek echoing through the halls. 'Not again,' she thought, 'I really hope it didn't happen again. She's always in a terrible mood after it happens.' Taking off towards the source of the scream, Twilight quickly accelerated through the halls restricted from all but royalty and herself. For a few moments, the only noises in the empty, private corridor were the sounds of Twilight's galloping hooves.

After the few blissful moments of silence, however, the same, familiar voice rang out through the halls, loud enough to reverberate throughout the whole castle. "Stay back, ye' foals! Your Queen demands that thou give Her space to breathe! Begone!" Skidding to a screeching halt, Twilight heaved a sigh of relief, quickly turning and trotting back towards her warm bed. 'I wonder what it was this time... perhaps the same as always? Or was it different?'

Upon opening the deep purple door to her grand room, Twilight's eyes made a customary check for all her valuable research scrolls and books. To finish off her checklist, Twilight nodded at the large purple and green ball, a colorfully beaded necklace, and a dull orb that she was studying for her new position in service of the Queen. Her impeccable memory having confirmed that everything was in its place, the purple prodigy heaved another sigh of relief. For now, she had no need to panic or be paranoid, for her research could be continued. Nothing had breached the security of her castle hall.

Finally relieved of all the stress of the night, Twilight yawned loudly and stretched her forelegs. She frowned at the thick lock of hair that had fallen into her long-lashed eyes and labored to tie up her indigo, lavender, and gray striped mane around the decorative, spiral bone at her forehead. Now, at long last, she slipped onto the soft mattress and laid her head on the fluffy pillow. 'To bed.'

***

"No. I'm going to get a manecut, and you are not stopping me." Twilight Sparkle sighed in exasperation when the servant stopped her anyways. "Seriously? What is so important that you had to come to me?"

The young servant stretched into a bow and said, "The Queen needs you to investigate. She was quite irritated when the head of the lunatic asylum sent a message requesting assistance. Her Majesty said you must drop everything to go figure out what is going on. The head will have a scroll for you when you arrive."

Twilight sighed yet again as she flicked her long tail in annoyance. "Very well. I''m going," she replied to the servant, already turning towards a different exit. Realizing that she'd have to go through a large clump of nobles and their guards, Twilight let out a groan before composing a mask just like all the other snobby, manipulating ponies. Walking towards the crowd, she made sure to raise each hoof high and set it down lightly on the marble tiles. It wouldn't do to embarrass Her Majesty.

Reaching the group of milling ponies, Twilight rolled her eyes. They were all too close together to be able to slip through. She'd have to be-- ugh-- polite. 'This is going to take forever. How am I going to finish at the asylum by offset if I have to spend at least an hour here? They're all going to try kissing up to me, try introducing me to their petty squabbles, try marrying me off to some brat, or trying to use me to get to the Queen. Maybe I should say I'm in a hurry? No, that never works. Just sprint through? No, I can't embarrass the Queen. I suppose I'll have too do it the normal way. Ugh. Guess I'll be wasting lots of time this onset. The Queen will understand.' Sighing yet again, Twilight picked up another hoof to begin her long trek through the clump of chattering elites.

And that's when a rhinoceros fell from the sky.

Author's Note

If anyone was wondering about that last sentence, no I'm not trolling or joking. Promise.

Tezcatlipoca is the Aztec god of a wide variety of things, including the night sky, the night winds, hurricanes, the north, the earth, obsidian, enmity, discord, rulership, divination, temptation, jaguars, sorcery, beauty, war and strife.

Also, please remember that I will be modeling the asylum mostly off seventeenth century lunatic asylums.