Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, and also rather high up in the sky, lived a super awesome pegasus princess. Her name was Rain Ruler, and she was known for being the fastest flier in all of Equ…
“What are you doing, Spike?” asked the evil purple enchantress, who had just stormed the castle of the fearsome dragon, Spikelord.
“Spike, get serious. We have a very important task at hoof.” the evil purple… I mean, the wonderful Twilight Sparkle replied.
“Ah come on, Twilight. You’re ruining all the fun of being a storyteller.”
“There’ll be time for that later, Spike! Now, could you help me find Ancient History of Historic Magical Events?”
And with that final piece of information, Spikelord the Fearsome made his way to the other end of the castle, in search of a magical tomb that held ancient treasures. While some ponies believed that the great Warbeard of Old cursed the tomb, and all of the treasures hidden inside, Spikelord the Mighty did not fear danger, for it was danger that feared…
“Oh, and Spike?” the evil purple enchantress spoke.
“Yes Twilight?” the fearsome dragon said with a sigh… made of fire. Seriously, the sigh itself was made of fire, because, Spikelord the Great is just that amazing.
“If you happen to also see Ancient Wonders of Ponykind along your journey, could you..”
“Yea yea, Twi. I’ll bring that one back, too. May I go now?”
“Sure Spike, and please be careful. This castle is full of boobytraps” Twilight said with a small smile.
And with that final warning out of the way, Spikelord the Powerful said his last goodbyes, and began his minute-long journey into the unknown regions of Equestria.
Before him stood a tall fortress, one that no sane pony would ever dare to enter. Of course, Spikelord the Grey was no pony, and with a quick leap and a large jump, Spikelord the Slayer entered the fortress through its large and menacing doors, which just so happened to also be covered in a flame of golden fire.
“Wait, wait, wait. Why do you keep changing your characters name?” asked Rainbow Dash, who had somehow managed to find her way into the room, overhearing the story. “Doesn’t that like, ruin the immersion or something?”
“Because Rainbow, Spikelord is the world's greatest adventurer! So obviously he gets to have multiple titles.”
“Pfft, as if! Spikelord is no where near the awesomeness level of Daring Do!” replied Rainbow with a hint of agitation. “Besides, your story sounds kinda lame.”
“If you think it’s so lame, why don’t you just stop listening?”
“Fine, I think I will. Later Spike!” Rainbow yelled as she flew out of the library… I mean, the castle window.
“Where was I? Oh yes!”
Spikelord the Amazing entered through the menacing doors, only to find a giant trap of poisonous spiders laying in wait on the other side.
The spiders were no match for the Amazing Spikelord and his breath of wondrous fire. So, like a true dragon, the Great Spikelord set the spiders ablaze, and continued on through the dark and narrow hallway, until he saw something blocking his path up ahead.
“What in Celestia” cried Spikelord, stumped over the obstacle that stood before him. You see, this was no ordinary obstruction; it was a fire breathing centipede from the sands of Saddle Arabia! The deadliest of all centipedes, and the largest too.
While the centipede was surely the largest of its kind, the Fearsome Spikelord was the greatest dragon adventurer in all of Equestria! So, like any great dragon, the Fierce Spikelord just walked right over the centipede, ignoring it like the uninteresting bug that it was.
Once on the other side of the room, the Fantastic Spikelord was greeted by his mortal enemy. Stairs. Lots and lots of stairs. But these were no ordinary stairs. They were the stairs of doom, created by Warbeard of Old to act as the tombs final defence against anypony foalish enough to seek the treasure within.
And so, the brave dragon began his gruelling trek up the virtually endless flight of stairs, until finally he came face to face with the brown door of knowledge.
He opened the door, and was quickly greeted by Nightiscious the Protector.
"Whoo?" asked Nightiscious.
"I'm Spikelord, the greatest adventurer to ever live!"
"Whoo?"
"Spikelord. I'm the greatest adv.. " the dragon replied again, before Nightiscious interrupted.
"Whoo?"
"I already told you. My name is Spikelord The Daring!" he practically screamed, until realizing that he was basically talking with an oversized owl. Once the realization hit, he couldn't help but to let out a small giggle.
The nightowl, perhaps deciding that Spikelord the Dashing had passed the test, or simply got bored with the situation, turned his head and remained silent.
"Finally" The Awesomazing Spikelord sai-
"Uhh.. y'all alright sugarcube?"
Curses! It was Gunmare Jack the Outlaw. Her hat was tilted to cover her face from suspicion, and totally not from just being out in the sun. She narrowed her eyes and flicked her mane across her other shoulder. "Spike, ah think you’ve been readin’ too many of those, fantasy stories again." The orange mare said with a facehoof.
"The Great and awesome Spikelord can do as he pleases." And with a quick draw, he unsheathed his bro- I mean… His totally real and metal Greatsword. “Now step aside Gunmare Jack the Outlaw, before I’m forced to collect the bounty on your head!”
The orange Outlaw smirked and rolled her eyes. “Well Mr. Spikelord, Ahm afraid ah can’t do that. For ah am the most dangerous Outlaw in all the wild west!” She then pulled out her trusty rope and started swinging it around above her head.
Drats! That rope was her best tool, one that could round up authorities, your legs…. Or some snacks. Regardless, that rope could tie Spikelord the Courageous up, and render his quest questless! Plus, the fact that the rope was also made of fire didn’t help much.
“I won’t let you stop me, Gunmare Jack! For this quest for the Ancient Tome of... “Spikelord the Scholar stopped to remember the name of the book he was questing for. Not because he forgot it, mind you; he just needed a clear picture to tell the outlaw.
“Uhh… the Ancient Tome of… Ancient History of Historic Magical Events?” He said uncertainly. Only because he didn’t want the Outlaw knowing what he wanted.
“And Ancient Wonders of Ponykind, Spike!” Came the Evil enchantress from down stairs, which promoted an eye roll from the great adventurer.
“Well, ahm sure this is all important for y’all….” She started and then grinned before returning her rope to her shoulder. “Ah’ll let ya go, just this one time.”
Spikelord the Ruffian was weary. She was not usually this nice…. Well, aside from when she was passing out free apples at the…. I mean when she was…. You know what? Forget it.
“Alright Gunmare Jack.” He sheathed his bro- I mean sword, and cautiously stepped past the orange mare. Making sure she didn’t try anything. Once he was past, he broke into a sprint so he could speed things along, when all of a sudden..... Pause for Dramatic effect….
He saw it! Sitting on its shelf… Like it should be. Spikelord the Conqueror looked both left, and then right, before waltzing up to it and looked at the book. After wiping his brow of sweat, and biting his lip… He took it off of the shelf.
It was eerily quiet, almost too quiet… But regardless, he looked at the book and smiled to himself. “Yes! I’ve done it! After all the trials and tribulations I’ve finally got the tome!” After doing a small jig, and a victory jig to go with his regular jig, Spike was just about to-
“Spike!? Did you find the book yet?” After a sigh, Spike quickly grabbed the other book that she had asked him to get, and then made his way back down the seemingly endless flight of stairs. Though, this time the stairs really only consisted of five steps, which Spikelord the Stairless was thankful for.
“Ah, there you are, Spike! You were gone an awfully long time for getting two books. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it took you just over five minutes! You don’t usually take that long.” Twilight said while glancing up from her studies to take the books in her magic, levitating them over to her. “Did you have fun, Mr. Spikelord?” She said with a grin.
Spike smiled and puffed out his chest. “Of course I did. After overcoming many challenges, I got the books you wanted!”
“But…” The purple unicorn smiled, “Are you ready for your next grand adventure, Spike? It’s going to be dangerous. Some even say that this task is impossible!” The Enchantress spoke in a darker tone of voice.
But Spikelord the Fearless was, just as his name implied, fearless. He was up for any task or challenge the evil purple enchantress could throw at him, no matter how dangerous the outcome.
However, Spikelord the Grand was not prepared for his next challenge, and what it would entail.
And, with a smirk on her face, Twilight spoke up for the very last time.
“Can you get me a glass of water?”
Author's Note
I'd like to thank Synesisbassist for his help and support in getting this finished. Seriously couldn't have done it without him.
