One Very Bad Bunny

by Ianpiersonjdavis

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Angel, Fluttershy
Length: 1833

Discord's attempt to visit Fluttershy is postponed when she must go into town to run errands, leading him to suggest house sitting for her while putting up with Angel.

Discord's attempt to visit Fluttershy is postponed when she must go into town to run errands, leading him to suggest house sitting for her while putting up with Angel.

Published 2014-10-06 00:40:10 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-06 00:40:10 UTC

Chapter 1

Discord lay upon the branch of his thinking tree, dreadfully, shamefully, horrifically bored-far more so than any self-respecting Master of Chaos should ever be. He rolled over on his back as his talons and the digits of his lion paw twiddled idly. What he typically considered fun had always been decried as others (specifically Celestia and Luna) as ‘evil’ and ‘sociopathic’ which had never really bothered him until befriending Fluttershy.

Unfortunately, even without Fluttershy around he found that he had began to grow an annoying tendency that she called a ‘conscience’. And he hated it. It meant that even if he could do whatever he wanted and was reasonably sure nobody would find out-he still couldn’t fully enjoy himself as he used to. It was utterly beyond his comprehension; they were not Fluttershy or Twilight, so why did making others tools for his amusement now make him feel bad?

These thoughts were really bringing him down, there had to be something he could do to cheer himself up. Looking up at the fluffy pink leaves providing him shade gave him an idea. Discord grinned to himself before disappearing in a flash of light.

Upon arriving at his destination, Discord took a brief pause before lightly knocking on the door to the cottage. Anyone else, he would have gladly shocked an annoyed for a quick chuckle. Well, except for Twilight he supposed.

It took a while longer than expected for Fluttershy to answer the door. Perhaps she was bathing? The thought occurred to him to pop in and see, but the last time he needed something and tried that he got an earful from Fluttershy for invading her privacy. Honestly, these ponies were so ridiculous with their hang-ups on public indecency-it wasn’t not like most of them typically wore clothes all that often, anyway.

Finally, the door opened to reveal Fluttershy, who seemed to be preoccupied by something.

“Oh! Good afternoon Discord!” She greeted, as cheerfully as ever. It never ceased to warm his heart with how kindly she treated him. But, that still didn’t change the fact that she had kept him waiting for so long.

“Fluttershy, I’ve standing out here for hours! What in the world were you doing in there that could possibly be more important than me?” he asked with a mixture of hurt and irritation-she knew how easily he got bored.

“I’m sorry…” she replied regretfully, hanging her head.

Discord almost felt bad before he realized that she was actually looking down at something. Behind Fluttershy’s foreleg was a white ball of fur that appeared to be tugging at it. Discord’s neutral expression turned to a grimace.

While Discord enjoyed spending time with Fluttershy and valued their friendship, he didn’t like everything about it. Specifically, Angel-that ironically named, spoiled-rotten, flea-bitten waste of rabbit flesh. Every single time he came over to spend some quality time, he would constantly fighting the loathsome creature as they vied for Fluttershy’s attention.

It had been amusing at first, but the enjoyment quickly degraded to tedium with its repetitiveness. ‘Angel Bunny’ if it hadn’t been Fluttershy, he could have sworn whoever named him was being ironic. Why she had so much affection for that little rodent was beyond him. (And yes, he was aware that rabbits were technically ‘lagomorphs’ as Twilight had so irritatingly felt the need to correct him on it, before he zipped her mouth shut. Honestly, how could Celestia stand having such a know-it-all for a student?)

“I’m afraid today isn’t a very good day for a visit.” Fluttershy continued apologetically. “I need to go into town and pick up some more food for Angel.”

Angel crossed his forelegs over his chest while nodding with a smug grin.

“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary…” Discord replied jovially. “I’m Discord, remember?”

He snapped his fingers as several rows of carrots began emerging from the ground.

“Oh my…that’s very generous of you to offer…” she replied, uncertainly. “But, Angel’s a very picky eater-he won’t even touch some foods unless it’s been made to perfection.”

Discord felt his temper rising, clearly this is what the little pest wanted. With Fluttershy in town running an errand, he’d be able to stir up trouble and blame it all on him. She would think that he was responsible and no longer be able to visit, then Angel could stay as Fluttershy’s favorite. It made perfect sense.

That was alright though, there were an extremely select few that had ever been able to intellectual match Discord and he wasn’t about to let some long-eared rat join them. Quickly he thought of a plan and slowly a toothy grin started to form. He spread his arms out excitedly.

“Even better!” he exclaimed. “I can stay behind and house sit while you’re away, I’ve been spending so much time with you…”

He reappeared next to her while picking up Angel with a talon and pinching his cheeks.

“That me and this little fluff ball haven’t had much time to get to know each other.” He cooed.”

“Um, well…if you’re certain it wouldn’t be too much trouble…” Fluttershy continued uncertainly as Angel broke free of Discord’s grasp to begin bouncing up and down frantically.

“Trouble?” Discord repeated. “Why, it would be my pleasure! After all, isn’t that what friends are for?”

After putting her saddlebag on and exiting the cottage, Fluttershy turned back to Discord.

“I really appreciate you staying behind and looking after everything for me, I promise I won’t be gone for too long.”

“Nonsense,” Discord replied cheerfully, “You take as long as you need, relax, maybe treat yourself at the spa? As the Master of Chaos and Disharmony there is nothing that I cannot handle.”

“I-I think I will,” Fluttershy’s smile brightened. “Rarity will appreciate the company.”

As she left Discord waved with an odd, nagging sense of déjà vu.

“Bye, bye! Have a wonderful time!”

When she was out of sight, he turned back to see Angel standing in the middle of the living room, glaring at him with his forelegs crossed.

“And what are you looking at?” Discord asked; making sure his contempt for the creature was made obvious from the way it oozed from every syllable.

A devilish smirk then began to slowly creep across Angel’s face as he revealed a rock he’d been hiding beneath the sofa before casually tossing it up in the air and catching it as Discord’s eyes followed it, suspiciously.

Angel then launched it through the window as the ear-piercing sound of shattering glass caused Discord to wince as Angel flashed another devious grin before hopping past him to get outside.

“Amateur,” Discord growled before snapping his talons and causing the shattered glass to reform into an improved window with his beautiful, grinning face giving a thumbs-up with both his paw and talon while wearing a black jacket.

Fluttershy would never know the difference, but now he needed to seek retribution. Angel had just attempted to besmirch his good name by framing him with a frankly, amateurish set-up. Of course, he couldn’t do anything long-lasting if he didn’t want Fluttershy to be upset with him.

Discord then heard some commotion coming from the backyard, teleporting there revealed another headache. The chickens were squawking and running wild, which meant Angel must have done something to rile them up. He picked one up before it pecked his arm with its beak, causing him to drop it as he grimaced.

Stupid, flightless birds…they were just as useless and annoying as Rainbow Dash’s precious ‘Wonderbolts’.

He then snapped his fingers again, transporting all of the chickens back into their coop along with a sleep spell to keep them sedated for a few hours until Fluttershy got back. This was now beginning to irritate him quite a bit. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Angel hopping off again, on his way to cause another disturbance, no doubt.

Angel was stopped when he felt the dirt beneath his paws turn to mud. He tried to continue on his path despite it, only to realize the he was stuck. With both forepaws, he tried desperately to pry his hind leg from out of the purple muck, to no avail. In fact, it felt like it was beginning to sink even deeper.

“You Smooze, you lose Angel!” Discord gloated, standing over him. “That’s what I like to call this little invention of mine, the more you struggle-the deeper you sink!”

Angel simply looked up at him with a glare.

“No, it’s not like quicksand!” he insisted. “This is purple, and would have turned whoever became caught in it into a complete jerk, only you’re already one…anyway, so much for having a lucky rabbit’s foot, eh?”

He gestured to his clawed foot, which morphed into a white rabbit’s paw to emphasize the joke.

Angel merely rolled his beady black eyes in irritation.

“And yes, I am done.” Discord retorted before grumbling. “I had several more, but my accursed brain failed me again and I can’t remember any of them, now.”

In a flash of light, they were back in the leaving room with Angel seated on the couch as Discord snapped his fingers one more time, causing Angel to become wrapped in chains with several padlocks on them.

Discord then produced a small remote with a key ring and pressed a button, causing a ‘click-click’ sound to emanate from the keyholes as they lit up in sync with it.

Briefly, he considered leaving it around for Fluttershy to use when ever Angel began acting up again. But, he reconsidered upon realizing that if she wasn’t so forgiving, these lengths wouldn’t have been necessary in the first place. Angel reminded him of that Pink Tiara filly or whatever her name was (honestly, he couldn’t be bothered enough to care), only Angel’s actions were affecting him.

As the front door slowly began to creak open, Discord quickly removed all traces of the chains by snapping the lion paw behind his back.

“Fluttershy!” Discord greeted warmly. “Welcome home! I hope you enjoyed yourself?”

“Oh yes, I had a wonderful time at the spa.” She replied cheerfully. “I hope Angel didn’t give you too much trouble? He can be a bit irritable when he hasn’t eaten anything.”

“Oh, no I had everything under control the whole time.” Discord replied.

“That’s good,” she sighed with relief. “Lotus said that all of the tension I’ve been having was because of all the stress I’ve been under…I love taking care of all my animal friends, but it’s a lot harder than it looks.”

“Well, if you’re ever feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask for assistance-my door is always open for you.” He replied, looking down at Angel, whose ears perked up in alarm.

“I’d love to look after the little rat-I mean, adorable little bunny again, sometime.” He continued before he and Angel glared at each other hatefully.

“Oh my, what happened to the window?”