Welcome to Hotel Nebula

My head hurt like a buck to the face. I think I blacked out from that last guest. Ha, I could've sworn it was Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony. But that's ridiculous, why would that draconequus come here to Hotel Nebula after only arriving for a day? Slowly, I opened my eyes, regaining consciousness as I was greeted to a pair of blurry figures, one a midnight black and the other lily green.

"I think he's coming too!" I heard Water Lily say.

"Thank Luna! How bad would it be if he died on his first day." I heard Midnight Rider attempt to make a joke. Steadily my vision returned, and I was greeted with the warm sight of my friend looking down upon me with concerned frowns.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." I grunted, pulling myself to my hooves. "It'll take more than a simple surprise to take me down." My friends smiled for a bit, then a certain chimera stuck his head up from the floor.

"I'll say. It's poor behavior etiquette to faint in front of paying customers." Discord said, his headless body picking up his head and placing it on his shoulders. Oh... it really was Discord... My head started to get a little fuzzy again.

"Oh, there I go again." I muttered, on the verge of fainting again. However, Midnight quickly intervened and grabbed me before I could fall.

"Don't you go passin' out on me again, bud." Midnight ordered. I thanked my friend and took my place at the desk, trying to keep a neutral face before the God of Chaos. Discord recently had undergone a reformation at the behest of Princess Celestia, but ended up betraying Equestria when Tirek came around. So forgive me if I find myself reluctant to accept the prankster spirit's reformation.

"So... Discord... Why are you here at Hotel Nebula?" I said, tapping my hooves. Discord looked at me innocently, picking at his ear with his eagle talon.

"Why am I here?" He repeated. "Why I'm a frequent guest at this fine establishment!" He pulled a wallet out of his ear and rolled out a collection of pictures of him mingling with the guests and staff of the Hotel. He was drinking with Yigvar in the Vineyard in one photo, fleeing from Moogaroo brandishing a knife in another. Skimming through the photos, I even saw him posing with... Jeff the Killer.... He rolled up the photos and tossed the wallet away, the wallet flapping away to who knows where. "You think Hotel Nebula has only recently appeared in Equestria? My dear stallion," He leaned over the counter, wrapping his lion paw around my shoulders. "This Hotel travels through space, time, and universes often. It's been here before and after I was imprisoned in stone. Even the Princesses rented a room every time it comes here." My heart skipped a beat. Just the mere though of the Princesses of the Sun and Moon staying here, at a hotel under my supervision set my heart a-flutter. "Which brings me to the answer of such a trivial question. I would like to rent my suite on the forty fourth floor, Room 1337."

Rolling my eyes, I searched the wall for the aforementioned room key. Surprisingly, it was a golden marked box with a nametag on it. Reserved for Discord of Equestria, it read. I opened it, and pulled out a red and white candy cane with the room number on it.

"Why am I not surprised?" I muttered to myself. I turned back to Discord, dropping the 'key' on the counter. "So how long will you be staying?"

The mishmash creature produced a calendar from nowhere and put on a set of reading glasses, humming to himself. "Well, seeing as how I've gotten bored in Equestria, and the last disaster was a while ago. Since the next one won't be for another season, I think I'll stay...." With a wicked giggle, Discord rolled up the calendar and threw it away, striking an unfortunate Skritt bellhop on the head. "Until I'm bored."

I frowned, glancing towards the cash register. "I expect you to pay 20 bits for every day you stay here, you know."

"I know about fees, Mr. Tab Keeper." Discord said, producing a tiny coin purse from a pocket. "I'll pay for each day. Starting with the first month." He opened the bag, and a whole damn molehill of golden bits spilled out onto the desk. I gaped at the pile while Discord merely opened up the register and deposited the bits into the machine, swiping the key and leaving with a quick thank you. So... Discord was now a long-term guest at Hotel Nebula. Add that to the list of things I didn't expect on my first day. I think I was standing in shock for so long I didn't realize I still had customers to deal with. Luckily, the banging on the desk brought my attention back. Waiting at the desk was a tall and muscular human wearing brown shorts, a hat brimmed with sharp fangs, and... no shirt. On his chest was a strange shaped patch of chest hair, almost looking like a country from somewhere. His face had a thick brown mustache, and a look showing bemusement.

"What? Oh, whoops." I said. "I'm terribly sorry, I lost my train of thought for a moment." The man merely chuckled, waving his massive hand.

"Ah, think nothin' of it, fellow." He responded in a burly voice, with a strange accent to match, akin to the Kangaroos from a province a little ways away from Equestria. "Just toughen up and keep your eyes straight, in the future."

"I'll take that advice in mind mister..." I said, gesturing for him to continue. To my surprise (and that of several others in the room), he climbed upon the counter, and flexed his massive muscles.

"SAXTON HALE!" He bellowed, shaking the foundations of the Hotel. "Owner of the Mann Co. Shipping Company and strongest Australian in history! I've gone to Primate Hell and back, wrestled with the Horseless Headless Horsemann, and the boss of nine of the deadliest mercenaries in the Badlands. Not to mention, I cook a mean steak."

"You sell junk in *bleep*ing boxes!" Shouted a loudmouthed human somewhere in the room. "And most of them ain't *beep*ing explosives! Mann Co. *beeping* SUCKS!" I am not kidding, beeps actually came from his mouth when he spoke. Saxton Hale shot a glare at whoever yelled at him, pointing at the source of his anger.

"Shut your self-censoring mouth, Torgue!" Hale shouted, before climbing off the counter. He sighed, looking at me with an irate expression. "That man has no idea how faulty his products are. You can't cram $500,000 worth of explosive rounds into a sniper rifle or pistol and call it a product!"

"So you're a business man, I take it?" I asked.

Hale merely laughed. "Nah, I'm more of the action-adventure loving hero who beats the snot out of vicious animals for sport. I leave the paperwork to my assistants, and the product selling to the Administrator." Under his breath, he muttered old crow. "Anyway, I'd like to rent a room for two weeks." I nodded, punching in numbers on the cash register.

"What kind of currency will you pay in?" I asked.

"US Dollars." Hale responded. "I forgot to convert the cash to Pounds, so I'll pay in American money." Quickly, I began tapping out the currency for US Dollars (most of my customers have paid in bits, so I'm not entirely used to the finance systems of other universes), and finished with the register sounding off a ding.

"That'll be $15 per night." I said, removing a key (which was unusually large and appeared to be plastic painted gold) from the wall with my magic. "Your room number is 907 on the tenth floor. Thank you and have a pleasant day." Saxton Hale thanked me after taking his key, muttering about how it looked like one of his company's keys, and walked off. Sighing to myself, I continued to greet customers and give them their room keys for the majority of the day.

Three Hours Later....

"Your room is 666 on the sixth floor," I said, dropping the futuristic card key into the open palm of the next guest. "Have a pleasant stay, Mr. Robot Devil."

"Thank you, my dear pony." Snickered the rust-colored machine, twirling his tail. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to rest up a bit." With a sinister whistle, the robot left. With a loud moan, I plopped my head down on my desk, my jaw resting on the mahogany top.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I'd give a room to an animatronic version of the embodiment of evil from another universe." I muttered. "And to think four days ago I was filing papers."

"Getting frustrated with your new job already?" I heard Water Lily say. Lifting my head up, I saw my two friends standing at the desk, Midnight happily eating a sandwich.

"Not frustrated, Lily," I muttered. "Just trying to get used to the change of everything. A few days ago, I never knew there were other universes. And now I'm running a Hotel that hops dimensions once a week."

"Means adventure, buddy," Midnight said, granted his words were muffled from the food still in his mouth. Swallowing, he put a hoof on my desk, a cheerful look on his face. "Think about this, dude. You are doing something nopony in Equestria could even dream of: Going beyond this world into others." Princess Twilight happened to be passing by, a small chuckle escaping her lips. "You'll have a great time, and best of all, you've got friends to spend it with."

"That's right, the staff really like you!" Lily agreed. "They'll be great friends along this journey."

"Yeah, but they aren't ponies like me." I sighed. Then, an idea came into my head (or was it the bulb hanging loose from the ceiling that a Skritt was attempting to fix). Leaning over the table, I stared at my two friends. "You both are looking for jobs, right?"

"Yeah, in Ponyville." Midnight said through another mouthful. "What about it?" After a few moments of awkward silence, I quickly put up a sign that I was going off duty, pulled out that stone Guardian gave me, and waved of my friends, vanishing in a flash of light.

To Guardian's Office in the Pocket Dimension Array...

As the light cleared from my eyes, I was greeted to the unexpectedly ominous sight of Guardian's office. The entire room was spherically shaped, much like an observatory. Speaking off observatory, the ever expanding room had a black domed room, dotted with various small lights and constellations. Some of which had emblems next to them, like a winged sword or a creepy mask. One of the more prevalent symbols were of a circular medallion with the letters IDA emblazoned in gold, and a fragmented piece of crystal. The room itself was a deep black, and featured several completely packed bookshelves and display cases sported various weapons and artifacts. Statues of various figures stood amidst the black floors, some in triumphant poses and others frozen in historical moments, I supposed. Overlooking a beautifully crafted wooden desk was an uncannily lifelike portrait of Guardian in his human form, standing tall and imposing with a smirk on his face. Behind the desk was a black velvet chair, swiveled around and facing a fireplace that seemed to lead... nowhere. And resting on that chair was a black sleeve clutching a glass of fine wine, just the interdimensional super power I was looking for.

"Mr. Guardian of Worlds, sir," I called out, cautiously stepping forward. "It's Tab Keeper. I'd like to speak to you."

"Ah, yes. Come in." Said Guardian, still facing the chair. Carefully, I walked towards the desk, nervous with meeting my boss like any employee would.

"So, erm... Sir I have a request for you." I said, nearing the desk.

"Ah, yes. Come in." Guardian repeated, oddly. Quirking an eyebrow, I now stood behind the chair, Guardian's black arm still clutching the drink.

"Sir, you already said that." I said. With no other response, I slowly poked the chair with a hoof, turning it around slightly. To my surprise, no one was sitting there! All that sat on the chair was a model arm with a black suit sleeve clutching a drink, and a tap recorder repeating the phrase 'Ah, yes. Come in.' "What in the name of-"

"Gotcha!" Said the portrait of Guardian. Jumping off my hooves and screaming (a totally stallion-like scream and not a filly scream like Guardian claimed), I saw that the portrait of Guardian was laughing hard, clutching his stomach and holding onto the edge of the golden frame. "That works every time! Who says immortals have no sense of humor."

"Wha... Wha... WHA!!!" I exclaimed, breathless as Guardian slowly climbed out of the portrait.

"Secret room I had built as an escape route should I be compromised." Guardian clarified, dropping to the ground. "Also doubles as a prankster's perch. Good fun for all," He shot me a mirthful glance. "Especially me." Giggling like a child, Guardian propped himself in his chair, turning about to face me. "So, what can I do for you?" After a moment of attempting to catch flies, I shut my mouth and took my place in front of the desk.

"Well, sir, I have an employment request for you." I stated. Guardian leaned on his desk, idly playing with a small globe of some unfamiliar planet. "Two friends of mine happen to be jobless, and I would like to have them working at the Hotel."

"Names and talents." Guardian said. "Then I'll see."

"Well, there's Midnight Rider," I listed. "A rambunctious pegasus I grew up with. He used to work for the Night Guard prior to the Tirek attack, and has the ability to see in the dark like a bat."

"Nightvision, eh?" Guardian asked, jotting down stuff on a notepad that he procured from his desk. "Might have yourself another Night Guard, as if the first one wasn't bad enough...."

"Another night guard? We have night guards?" I asked, completely unaware of this new information.

"Be glad you don't know him. Just... Don't get up in the middle of the night." Guardian said. "And the other friend."

"An Earth Pony mare named Water Lily," I said, a dreamy look in my eyes just thinking about that beautiful mare. "She used to me a masseuse in a Spa before coming to Ponyville. She has an amazing talent for keeping ponies serene and calm, like a lotus on a water lily in a stream. She's also incredibly kind-hearted, funny, beautiful...

"Has the best plot you've ever seen?" Guardian playfully added, leaning on his desk like a teenager gossiping. My face grew hot and turned beet red, realizing how easily I was read. Guardian laughed, waving a gloved hand. "Haha, relax Tabs. I'm just messing with you. I've been in love numerous times in the past, I know all the symptoms." He picked up his notepad and continued writing on it. "So, she's good with massages then? Looks like the steam room and sauna might have more customers then, especially if the Mr. Handy's are recalled from there." With a satisfied grunt, Guardian removed the notes and slid them across the desk. "Sounds like they'd get along well at Hotel Nebula. Just give them those letters of recommendation, and they can get started as soon as they get set up." Taking the notes in my magic, I tucked them into my suit pocket and beamed at my employer.

"Thank you very much, sir!" I exclaimed. "I promise, they'll be excellent co-workers."

"Good, very good." Guardian muttered, climbing back into his portrait room. "Now, if there isn't anything else, the G-Man will be visiting for a moment, and I want to give that sourpuss a little jolt." Waving off my oddly eccentric boss, I once again activated the transportation stone and vanished in a flash of light.

Back at Hotel Nebula...

Reappearing in the Hotel, I was oddly baffled to find I was not at the desk I originally warped from, but instead on the fourth floor of the hotel. The red carpeted floors, tan floral walls, and endless stretch of wooden doors were the only things keeping me company in the expansive hallway. That, and Twitchy was standing next to a tray filled with complimentary room service, a paw on her rapidly rising chest. I do believe I have the poor girl a heart attack.

"Sorry, Twitchy," I apologized, trying to calm the Skritt. "The item Mr. Guardian gave me to go to his office must've sent me here for some reason."

"Don't worry, Mr. Keeper," Twitchy said, pulling to her feet. "But, I think it good thing you come here." She stood next to me, pointing to one of the doors further down the hall. "Mean guest in Room 487 yell at Twitchy for going in, even if they asked for food."

"Room 487?" I asked. "Well, I guess I can try and talk to him."

"Well, it's not really a him." Twitchy said, tapping her claws.

"Then I'll talk to her." I reiterated.

"Well, it's not really a her." Twitchy said, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Then what is it?" I exclaimed, slightly raising my voice.

"Well, it's more of a them...."

"Oh, so there's more than one?"

"Not really." Now I was getting annoyed, and stormed off to the Room. Knocking a hoof on the door, I waited for a reply, yet received none.

"Excuse me, this is the Hotel Manager, and I've received a tip of one of you harassing my employees." With a short click, the door opened... and I was honestly caught off guard by the guest. It had three heads, one blue, one pink, and one green. A greenish fuzz covered their bodies and sat atop their heads as hair. Orange horns stuck out of each of the heads, although the two heads on the shoulder sides of the body had only a single horn attributing to the sides they sat on.

"Hi, Mister Manager," The three heads answered in unison. "How can we help you?" I glanced at the Triple-Header, then back at Twitchy, then at the Triple-Header once again. All I could simply muster was a 'huh'. Shaking my head, I took on a strictly business posture and look.

"Yes, well this young Skritt says that you had yelled at her when she delivered your food." I explained. The green head on the left smacked his head with a green reptilian arm, groaning in frustration.

"Yeah, that's my bad." Green Head said. "You see, when we were unpacking, we stubbed the left foot on the side of the bed, and since I'm the left head, I got full brunt of the pain."

"And I got half of it." The Middle Pink Head said.

"I felt nothing." Blue Head added.

"When the bellhop came in, I was kinda mad so I took the anger out on her." Green Head said. He leaned out and waved to Twitchy. "Sorry about that, Miss! We'll take our meal now!" Sighing loudly as I stepped aside for Twitchy to bring in the cart.

"So that's all?" I asked. The Triple-Header nodded and grunted in confirmation, happily eating a pizza as Twitchy flashed me a thumbs up. "Very well, have a pleasant stay and contact the front desk if you need anything." Trotting off to the elevator, I stepped inside the red box and hit the button to the lobby. Aside from an uncomfortable silence standing next to another Big Daddy (why were they always in the elevator when I took a ride), it was somewhat pleasant. Stepping off into the lobby, still abuzz with activity, I went over to the receptionist desk and spoke to one of the Mister Handy's stationed there.

"Excuse me, but did you see Midnight Rider and Water Lily leave here by any chance?" I asked. "One's a male black coated pegasus and the other's a lily green Earth Pony mare."

"Ah yes, the two Equestrians went to the Gourmet for something Master Midnight Rider called 'linner' with a friend." The Mister Handy said, pointing a robotic arm towards the restaurant. Thanking the machine, I trotted to the Gourmet, seeing the entire place almost completely packed. Moogaroo must be overwhelmed... Or taking it as a challenge. That Quaggan was a strange one. Scanning the dark red room, I looked around for my friends. Sure enough I found them sitting at a booth off to the side... sitting with... ohsweetCelestiathey'resittingwithJEFF!!!!! I practically BOLTED to their table, afraid of what that homicidal maniac would be doing to them. I was so intent on getting to that table, I didn't see Moogaroo pushing a food cart and sort of collided with it. Before I could pick the bits of salad out of my coat and mane, I had to make sure my friends were alright and that Creep wasn't doing anything to hurt them! Skidding to a halt at the table, breathing heavily, I was almost glad and confused to see my friends okay.

"Wow, Tabs, you look winded." Midnight said, blowing a low whistle.

"Yeah, what's the huge panic for?" Lily asked, jabbing a fork at her salad.

My eyes were nearly the size of dinner plates as I tried my hardest to keep my lungs from giving out. "You... *gasp... Are sitting... *gasp* Next to... *gasp* a PSYCHOPATH!" The two ponies shot a glance at Jeff, who simply sat in his chair with that same creepy smile.

"We know." They said in unison.

"Yeah, and these ponies really know hospitality." Jeff said, taking a bite out of his... ugh... hamburger. I was at a loss for words. My two closest friends in the world were sitting at a restaurant with an incredibly insane and homicidal murderer, and they were fine with it!!!

"Buh... buh... what?" I sputtered.

"Let me explain, Manager," Jeff said, putting down a knife he was fiddling with. "After you and I had our little spat, I went to get my room checked. I did, but when I got to my room, I forgot the key on the desk. Luckily for me, Ms. Water Lily here happened to see me forget the key, and she and Midnight personally brought it to me." He leaned on the table, looking at me with his unblinking eyes. "Normally, I'd gut anything that came close to me, but since I didn't have Stabs McGee, I figured I'd treat these two to a sort of early dinner, late breakfast."

"It's called linner, dude." Midnight clarified, receiving a chuckle from Jeff. "So yeah, Jeffy here bought us food, and we've been talking for a while now after you took off. Honestly, once you get past the fact he looks like a psycho and smells like dried blood, he's a bit of a nice guy."

"Re-Really?" I said in disbelief.

"Really really, Tab Keeper." Jeff said. "Look, I know you've heard about the stuff I did earlier in the Hotel, especially in those thirteen rooms. However, talking with these ponies has shown me exactly why you had this rule change. There are definitely good people around here that don't need a blade like mine to end them so quickly. It's like my Creep mentor always taught me: Death comes to all things, but we still must cherish the life of others and only punish those who truly deserve it. Anywho, I promise to be good while I relax at the Hotel." If he had his eyelids, I could've sworn he made a winking motion. "Doesn't mean I won't have any fun every once in a while." I shot him a wary glance, knowing there was something still off this Creep, but something told me that a bit of Equestrian kindness has entered him. With a sage nod, I turned to my friends, and pulled out the letters Guardian gave me.

"Oh, I went and saw my employer," I said. "Congratulations, you just received new jobs at Hotel Nebula." Levitating the letters to my friends, their eyes widened as they saw the words written on the paper.

"Jobs here?!" Midnight exclaimed, dropping his sandwich.

"If you choose to accept," I explained. "You'll each be paid 250 bits a day and have living conditions on the penthouse like the rest of the major employees." Jeff made a sound reminiscent of a whistle (which baffled me, due to him lacking lips), as he overheard our conversation.

"Wow, 250 bits. Ain't those gold coins?" Jeff remarked. Lily and Midnight could only stare at the papers with smiles on their faces. After a few seconds of silence, aside from the hustle and bustle of the restaurant, the two ponies flung their forehooves around me in a hug, a warmth of happiness emanating off us.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'." I said. Amidst our embrace, I felt a familiar flipper hand touch my shoulder. Turning my head slightly, I saw Moogaroo standing behind us, a bemused look on his face, and a tenderizing mallet in his hands. "Can you hold off on beating me for knocking that tray over until later? My friends just were hired."

"No." The Quaggan Cook answered. With that I ran like a bat out of Tartarus, but a smile sat on my face, knowing I would undergo this journey with friends at my side, old and new. One thing left me wondering: How can something with legs that stubby run so fast?