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                  Welcome to Hotel Nebula                  
                   -by The IDA Official-                   
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              Prelude: A Present and Purpose               
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Prelude: A Present and Purpose
Paper filed. And the next bill...I thought, glossing over the paper. It was a bill submitted by the Ponyville school board to repair the playground after a recent incident involving three particular fillies. The payment sum was reasonable, so I decided to approve the bill and soon will send it to the city council and mayor for consideration. That's how my day usually goes: Get a paper, read it over, put a check or cross on it, file said paper, lather, rinse, repeat. Then again, that's my job, I check over bills going in and out of Ponyville. Oh great, there I go, rambling about my boring job without even giving an introduction. Father always said the best way to know a pony is by their introduction.
My name is Tab Keeper, I'm a grey coated, red manned unicorn stallion with a cutie mark of a filing cabinet. Most people think my talent is office work, but instead it's organization. I keep everything in order, be it office papers or even other ponies. Most ponies say if I had the right motivation, I could easily run for mayor, but that's too much pressure for me, and I'm not much of a leading person. I live in the quaint little town of Ponyville, the deceptively quiet little valley town. Granted, it being the home of the Elements of Harmony and a Princess caused it to lose the quiet town feeling a few years back, but still, it's a nice life. I work at Town Hall, handling bills and requests or whatnot, but you probably know that already. I get paid about 20 bits a day, five days a week, and then go home and sleep. It's not much, but still, it was the peaceful life I asked for. Until... one day a package arrived.
I was working in my office, a small room with a desk in the center and a wall of filing cabinets to my left, reading over a bill requesting a tax increase on sugar due to the incredible sales of baked goods. Naturally, ponies would be outraged by the prices of sweets going up, and I enjoy a Sugarcube Corner cookie every now and then, so I hastily scribbled a cross on the box labeled 'decline', and filed it in the respective file. I was just about to reach out for the next paper when I noticed something on the floor: a pale white crystal. Being one for inspecting things (and keeping my workstation clean), I reached out for the crystal, enveloping it in the light red glow my magic and raising it to my eye. I noticed that there was a small grey dot in the center, but there were absolutely no nicks the crystal to show it was physical insertion. I raised a hoof to tap the crystal, when suddenly it started to glow a pale blue. Then, my mind was opened.
I saw a tremendous number of things! My mind entered tunnel vision as I mentally went on a trip across the dimensions. I saw buildings filled with strange bipedal hairless apes, grassy fields populated by deer grazing, vast deserts with crystal mountains, desolate wastelands with strewn about wreckages dotting the landscape, metallic rooms in the vastness of space itself with... whales swimming by? And there's more: I saw sentient life. The bipedal apes, lizard-like monsters with swords, rat-like creatures scavenging amongst metal, four armed machines with orbs for bodies, minotaurs, undead beings, I even saw various ponies. At the very end of it all, I saw a shadowy figure adorned in a wide brimmed hat and flowing cape. He looked at me with a single glowing yellow eye, and the vision ended. While most ponies would probably go insane from a trip like that, or assume it was a bizarre mental snap moment, I knew exactly what it was. I had gone through the Gate and learned of something most would deem impossible: There are other universes, and they are populated.
Dropping the crystal, I sat on my haunches, breathing heavily, trying to fully comprehend what just happened. What was I supposed to do? Why did this crystal come to me? Did those visions actually happen? Are those worlds I saw real? Why am I asking myself all these questions. More questions continued to assault my brain to the point I hadn't even noticed that somepony else had entered the room.
"You look a bit dazed." Said a voice in a Canterlot accent. I managed to awaken myself from this shocked stupor to get a good look at the pony before me. He was... a sight to say the least. A tall black alicorn with an ash-white mane and tail flowing in the nonexistent breeze was staring down at me. He was wearing an eye-patch over his left eye, and wore a black suit. What really caught my attention was the fact he wore a wide-brimmed black hat, a long black cape that obscured his cutie-mark, and his single eye was a golden color.
"You..." I said, pointing a shaky hoof. "You're the figure in my vision." The black alicorn looked at me for a bit, then at the crystal lying on the floor.
"So I take it," He said, gesturing to the vision crystal. "You took a look into the crystal." I slowly nodded, while the alicorn sputtered in annoyance. "Great, we've got another one." He then began to pace about the office, while I steadily rose myself to all fours.
"Another one? What in Celestia's mane are you talking about?" I asked, a bit irate. "And who in Equestria are you?" The black alicorn stopped his pacing, glancing towards me with his single eye. His horn glowed a light gold as a chair popped into existence and sat himself down in an odd position I had seen one mint green unicorn take up. He waved a hoof towards my desk, and I took my seat.
"Well, since you've taken an look into the Insight Stone, you must be aware of what you have seen." He explained. "Outside of the bounds of Equus, there are a wide number of universes inhabited by various creatures and beings. Heck, there are even several alternate universes based around Equestria. Anyway, I am the leader of an organization dedicated to keeping order across these universes. You may call me The Guardian of Worlds, a pleasure."
"So... You're not a real pony, then?" I asked. He merely shook his head.
"No, this is merely the form I take in this universe that best suits my power." Guardian answered. "Anyway, that crystal you just viewed is what we call an Insight Stone. It contains a vast amount of information, and it just beamed itself inside of your brain. Congratulations, you now have the basic knowledge of one of my agents."
"But..." I sputtered, still unable to comprehend why this was happening to me. "Why me? Why did I learn all this knowledge?" Guardian narrowed his eye, a frown forming on his face.
"That would be because of a certain dolt of a recruit fumbled and lost his Stone," Guardian explained. "And it somehow ended up in your hands, err, hooves." He rubbed a foreleg behind his neck, flustered. "Sorry, pony terminology messes with me for a bit." Well, that explained quite a bit, but I still had one question left.
"So... what do I do now?" I asked. "I mean, what's the point of learning all of this wondrous information without putting it to use?"
"Well..." Guardian stood up from his seat, looking at me very closely. "You don't appear to have gone insane like the others who accidentally looked into an Insight Stone, so I won't have you put in an asylum." He sat back in his seat, pressing a hoof to his chin. "And you might not be combat proficient, so Agent work is out...." He continued pondering, as I decided to get back to work, filing and sorting more bills. I managed to get five more papers finished (mostly to cover the damages done by the last ancient foe attack, go figure), when Guardian loudly laughed and stomped his hoof, sending me falling out of my chair, forelegs flailing wildly.
"I take it you came up with a solution?" I asked, rubbing my back. I felt myself lifted in the air, encased in a golden aura and placed back unto my feet. Guardian looked at me with a cheerful smirk on his face.
"From judging your cutie-mark, I can tell you have a talent for organization?" He asked.
"Absolutely." I said, pointing a hoof at my filing cabinet.
"Yes, but I bet that reaches beyond the boundaries of mere filing." He mused. "Were you the kind of boy... I mean colt, who, while other fillies and colts at school played with their toys, you spent time putting them in a neat line?" I narrowed my eyes, knowing exactly what he was talking about.
"I was. And I don't mean figuratively." I replied.
"And I bet that also expanded to the realm of the sentient. Keeping others in line, no doubt?"
"Well, whenever the boss was out back when I worked at Linguini's Bitalian restaurant in Manehattanen," I remembered, rubbing my chin with a hoof. "He made sure I was in charge, and I kept everypony in line." I shrugged my shoulders, remembering why I quit that fine establishment. "But, being a leader isn't exactly my strong suit." Guardian pursed his lips, making an audible tsking sound.
"Leadership is an important part of being a man... err... stallion." He said. "But, still, by your description, you fit the job I seek perfectly."
"And that job is?" I asked. He began pacing about the room again, still bearing that cheerful smile of his.
"Well, I mentioned how my organization works across numerous universes?" I nodded. "Well, sometimes they need to get away from it all. Just take a moment to relax. Heck, we even have tourists who are thrilled by the prospect of other worlds." And that's when I realized where this was going. Something I would never have expected to come to pass in all my days.
"Mr. Guardian, you can't seriously be saying that-" I said.
"You're going to run a hotel!"
After vanishing in a flash of light, Guardian and I had teleported to a location far away from my office to discuss business. I didn't even get a chance to clock out! However, the prospect of Guardian's offer intrigued me. I mean, me, in charge of a hotel of all things? That's about as ridiculous as Princess Celestia running down Canterlot in a banana suit! However, the information I had learned could be put to good use this way. Anyway, we appeared in a clearing in the middle of the forest (which I have no idea if it was the Everfree or not). I started glancing around, searching for this hotel I was going to be running.
"Um... There's no hotel here." I said. Guardian merely lifted up his hoof and pointed to the sky. I did as instructed... and my jaw dropped. There, floating five stories in the sky, was a gigantic skyscraper hotel building. It was painted a golden color with a black trim on certain details, and appeared to go up at least fifty floors! What more or less impressed me was that I didn't notice it until Guardian pointed it out.
"You like it?" He asked.
"How did I not notice something like that?!" I exclaimed.
"Specialized technology we procured from another universe." Guardian explained. "We've got a generator in there that produces a field that causes onlookers to ignore the building completely unless they were directly looking for it." Neat. I thought. We walked towards the floating building, but then I realized one glaring detail.
"How am I supposed to run this place when I can't even get up there?!" I shouted. Guardian merely chuckled and tapped his hoof three times.
"Dehkae Lives On." He said in a commanding voice. Suddenly, a wide platform spread at our hooves, and shot us up to the front entrance at speeds that would make a Wonderbolt motion sick. Once we came to a stop near the triple set of glass double doors, I shot an angry glance at Guardian for not giving me a warning. "A simple command phrase. I'll give you a list to what does what should you accept."
We walked into the double doors, and found myself greeted by the main hall. It was gorgeous, pristine marble walls and red carpets line the paths. A mahogany greeters desk sat at the far end while smaller paths diverge off to elevators and other sections of the building. Numerous flags and tapestries of nations I did not recognize until later swung freely from pillars. At the very center of the room was a large water fountain, spraying water in a beautiful fashion. I was astonished.
"It's beautiful..." I said, starry eyed. Guardian chuckled slightly, grinning to himself.
"Thank you, I had a hand in its construction." He said. He froze up for a moment, wincing and rubbing his back. "Excuse me, but I must change for a moment."
"Change?" I had asked. I was quite surprised when I saw a cloud of darkness consume Guardian, and watch it mold into another form. Once the cloud dispersed, he had changed. Still retaining his hat, cape, suit, and eye-patch, he had suddenly turned into one of those bipedal creatures I had seen in my vision. He stood well over two meters taller than I, had a very slim figure, and had a thick black beard and mustache over his mouth.
"Sorry about that." He said, stretching his muscles. "But it's hard to stay in an equine form for so long, it gets mildly uncomfortable." He turned to face me, and saw my shocked face. "Oh, yes, this is my most commonly used form. This form is that of a human, a bipedal intelligent race you'll probably see commonly around this place." He got down on one knee to my level and placed a black gloved... hand?... upon my shoulder. "You might want to keep that reaction under wraps. Most people don't like being stared at. Especially Nightkin." I made a mental note to ask about these Nightkin later. "Now, let's give you the tour."
With a brisk walk, we walked about the building, getting the lay of the facility that would soon be my responsibility. First, we entered a large room with metal walls, where several archways of varying minerals lined against the walls for what seemed to be yards.
"This here is the Gate Room." Guardian explained. "You see, there are two ways someone can enter a universe: one is through a Rift, which is a random tear in the fabric of reality. Most people don't trust them, as they end up dumping random things anywhere, and also work two ways. The other is through Gates, which are like Rifts, but instead are in tune with a specific location." He waved at the various archways, which I deduced to be these aforementioned Gates. "These Gates will be used by out of world guests, coming and going. They will be monitored by the chief of maintenance." A loud explosion rocked the room. "Speaking of...." I looked forwards and saw a pillar of smoke rising from a nearby Gate. A strange floating sphere flew out of the cloud, flailing several long appendages wildly.
"Confound it all!" It exclaimed in a robotic Canterlot accent. "These damnable wires have crossed themselves once again. I must restore them before the new manager comes for inspect... oh." It stopped talking, a bright yellow light shining in the smoke. The figure emerged from the smog to reveal its true form to me: a floating spherical orb, with three dangling limbs pointing about. Three metallic orbs stuck out to the side, glowing and looking about like eyes. "Hello, erm, sir."
"Having trouble with one of the Gates, Fix-It?" Guardian rhetorically asked, placing his hands on his hips.
"Unfortunately, sir." The machine sadly said. "The last worker to run the Citadel Gate was apparently in a rush, and several of the wires are tangled in a knot. I was in the process of working on repairing the wires myself when the control box... exploded."
"Just ask for help next time," Guardian said. "I get that you're a robot, but even advanced, Pre-War machinery needs help every now and then." He looked back at me and gestured towards the thing, the robot he called it. "Tabs, this is a Mr. Handy Repair Drone, F1X-1T, but we call him Fix-It." The robot flew up towards me and flashed a blue light at me.
"A pleasure to meet you, sir." He cheerfully said. "I assume you are the new manager of the Hotel?"
I chuckled slightly. "Well, that has yet to be determined. I'm Tab Keeper. Might I ask what world you're from?"
"I come from one of the many Alternate Earth universes," Fix-It stated. "My universe is often referred to as the Wasteland Universe, due to it having been bombed into destruction 200 years ago."
"Wow... That's depressing." I said.
"Not entirely. I was still active around the time the bombs dropped in the Mojave desert, but suffered programming issues." Fix-It explained. "I was found by salvagers and repurposed into a repair drone to restore a local settlement."
"A friend of mine bought him off a junk dealer in that universe," Guardian said, pressing a hand against the metal frame of Fix-It's body. "So we gave him a personality matrix and put him to work monitoring the Gates and other machinery of the Hotel."
"And might I say, it has been the most illuminating experience since passing beta!" Fix-It exclaimed, spinning about midair. A small fire shot out of the smoking Gate, causing Fix-It to yelp in surprise. "Oh, dear. I must get back to work before this sensitive machinery explodes. It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Keeper, and I look forward to working for you." As the robot flew off to address the problem, Guardian and I walked out of the Gate Room and continued our tour.
The next room on the first floor was a bar, of sorts. It had the standard build for a bar, what with the counter with shelves stocked with various brews and intoxicating beverages, tables strewn about, and a couple of booth seats. Other things I noticed were a metallic box covered in music notes off in the corner, and a large performer stand in the center.
"This is the bar, the Void Vineyard." Guardian explained. "Here is where customers can come and enjoy a drink, while watching various entertainment from across the worlds." We walked over to the bar, where we seated ourselves on the stools. Every fiber in my body tried to resist the childish urge to spin about on the stools, but I stood firm. "Only people who meet age requirement can order drinks, so standard rules that the bartender will supervise." He looked about, searching for something. "Speaking of, where is that hairy son of a gun?"
BURP!
I nearly fell out of my seat, surprised by the loud sound. "What in Equestria?" Guardian looked over the counter, frowning. He reached over the counter and lifted with relative ease another human, only this one seemed more... filthy. He was slightly overweight, had a balding head aside from his long, curly red mustache, and wore no shirt, exposing several animal themed tattoos. I noticed he was clutching a bottle in his hand, leading me to believe that he was sampling the merchandise.
"We drink to our youth," The drunken human groggily sang. "To days come and *hic* gone!" I was about to ask why the human was drunk out of his mind, when Guardian placed a palm on his chest. The bartender seized up as blue lightening shot from Guardian's hand, zapping him with electricity. After the voltage passed, the bartender shook his head, his mustache frayed about hilariously. "I'm awake! I'm sober and awake!"
"I see that." Guardian said, wiping his glove on the counter. "Tab Keeper, this is Yigvar Beerbelly, a Nord from the realm of Nirn. He'll be running the Vineyard and selling alcohol. That is," He shot the bartender an angry look. "If he remembers the booze is for the customers!"
"Well, sir, the Hotel isn't open yet." Yigvar exclaimed, straightening out his mustache. "So I figured I'd sample the fine products here." The large man looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "So you're the new manager, eh? Tell me, how can you hold your drink?"
After dispersing Yigvar's rather pungent smell from my nostrils, I leaned on the counter and answered him. "I'm not really much of a drinking stallion, but every now and then, I can handle myself a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres Apple Cider."
"Apple... Cider?" Yigvar said, starting to snicker. "That sounds like milk-drinker mead!" The loud Nord burst into laughter, falling over the counter. I furrowed my brown, unhappy with the way a future employee mocking an Apple Family drink. My slight irritation was cut short when I saw Guardian produce a familiar bottle from within his suit.
"Yigvar, I have a standard bottle of this Apple Cider," He said, placing the bottle on the counter. "And take a look at the alcohol proficiency." Wiping a mirthful tear away, Yigvar grabbed the bottle and scanned the label. I almost burst into laughter watching his eyes widen. He turned the bottle towards Guardian with a disbelieving look in his eyes.
".250 prof." He stuttered. ".250 alcohol proficiency. These ponies have managed to make 150% alcoholic beverages!" As the Nord began rambling about the illogical nature of such a drink existing, Guardian and I took our leave and resumed the tour.
The next room was a fancy restaurant, very large in size and just as grand. The same red carpet found everywhere else was seen, but the rest of the room was painted a nice shade of light red, much like the color of my mane. Fancy white-clothed tables and chairs were neatly arranged in almost a checkered pattern. Needless to say, it was a classy establishment.
"This here is The Gourmet's, the fanciest restaurant with fantastic food," Guardian said. "The menus in this place actually are linked to the brainwaves of the reader, showing meals usually found in their home universes." He produced a menu from the nearby host stand and tossed it to me. "Here, take a look." I did as complied, and saw a menu shimmer before my eyes. I saw various types of hay-based foods, flower side dishes, and a wide assortment of salads.
"This looks like something off the Grand Galloping Gala menu!" I exclaimed. Then I looked at the prices. "But 20 bits for a small carrot salad?!"
"Hey, high prices for fancy food." Guardian said with a shrug. "Blame the cook, not me. We should go meet him, now." Steadily walking through the restaurant, we came across a pair of wooden double doors, and just as I was about to put it open, a knife stuck through the wood! Loud clanking and banging came from the kitchen beyond, and I could faintly make out a loud voice shouting in there.
"Unbelievable! Simply disgusting!" A deep masculine voice boomed. "The aroma is completely off and the utensils are unwashed! This is what Quaggan have to work with?! Quaggan is abhorred, do you hear Quaggan? BooooOOOOoooo!" I was scared, at this point, worried that I was going to have some brutish minotaur or worse as a chef. "And what is this? A cracked plate! Unacceptable!"
*CRASH*
Guardian and I slowly peeked our heads into the linoleum walled and floored kitchen, making sure not to step on the shattered remains of a plate.
"Head Chef Moogaroo?" Guardian asked, completely undeterred by the cook's rampancy. "I've brought the new manager!" I scanned the room, searching for the angry chef. Aside from the strewn about pots and knives stuck in the walls, I didn't see anything big, loud, or scary.
"The new manager is here?" The loud voice asked. "Wonderful!" I heard the soft patter of steps coming from behind one of the counters. I looked and saw something waddle out before us. It looked like a small blue whale, a round form with a blue top and white underbelly. A pair of black beady eyes sat near the edges of a wide mouth, and a set of small arms and legs rested on the sides of the body. At the top of it's head, a rather comically large chef's hat rested. Needless to say, I was looking at possibly the most adorable thing next to a Breezie.
"Okay, you're pulling my leg here, Guardian." I said, glancing at the suited man. "Where is the head chef?"
"You're looking at Quaggan." The whale creature said in the very same deep voice that I was greeted by. "Head Chef MoogaroooOOOooo, at your service." He gave me a little bow, nearly causing his hat to fall off. I was so very close to just up and shout D'AAAAAAAAAW, but for professionalism's sake chose not to.
"Moogaroo is a Quaggan, one of an amphibious race from the land of Tyria." Guardian introduced. "He is a phenomenal cook and a very brilliant individual." I steadily walked up to the Quaggan and extended a forehoof to greet.
"Tab Keeper, nice to meet you." I said. Moogaroo gave a small smile and took my hoof in both his hands a shook it.
"Quaggan will not disappoint you or any of the customers." He said. "In fact, Quaggan has prepared a dish for your arrival." The little Quaggan waddled off into the kitchen, then quickly returned with a plate of salad, topped with various greens and vegetables. I procured a salad fork with my magic, and took a bite. It was the most delicious thing I had ever eaten. Every flavor blended together and formed a parade in my mouth, assaulting my taste buds with sweet delicious ecstasy!
"Can I get this to go?" I asked. "And possibly with five more bowls?" Moogaroo smiled widely and poured the salad into a container for me. I thanked the little guy and left the restaurant, happily munching on a salad.
As we returned to the lobby, I noticed a shadowy figure run by, clearly wanting to avoid the line of sight. Guardian was nowhere in sight, so I decided to make my move and introduce myself. Setting aside my salad, I slowly walked over to the pillar the figure was hiding behind.
"Hey, there. Don't be afraid." I said in the calmest voice I could muster. "I'm Tab Keeper, the new manager Mr. Guardian employed." I heard a chattering sound coming from behind the pillar, as well as nervous scratching.
"You new boss?" A feminine sounding voice said. "You no want hurt?" The broken speech was a bit deterring, but still, the voice sounded innocent and scared.
"Yes, I don't want to hurt you." I reassured. "Won't you come out?" Slowly, the figure emerged from behind its cover. It was something between a bipedal creature and a rat, standing about three ft. on two crooked legs, covered in a pale white fur. It wore a sort of black cloth barding, and had a sword resting on the side of its hip. The creature's mousy head twitched about, sniffing the air and looking at me nervously. Although most would probably be frightened or disgusted by such a creature, I showed no fear.
"Hi," The creature said quickly, rubbing her paws together.
"Hello," I replied. "What's your name?"
"Friends call me Twitchy..." The creature said. "I'm a Skritt. From Tyria." I trotted towards the frightened Skritt, and extended a hoof.
"Nice to meet you, Ms. Twitchy." I greeted. Twitchy appeared to smile, and shyly took my hoof and quickly shook it before retracting. "Are there any more of you here?"
"Y-yes..." Twitchy replied. "Skritt brothers and sisters grab trash and unwanted shines. Fishy person asks us to give food to visitors." I assumed by 'Fishy person', she meant Moogaroo. "Also sometimes help metal giants keep guard." I quirked an eyebrow at that last statement.
"'Metal giants?'" I repeated. Twitchy nodded quickly. "What do you mean by that?"
"She's referring to the security guards you'll meet eventually." Guardian said, walking up behind me. Twitchy stiffened to attention while I turned about to face my new employer. "The Big Daddies. But, enough about then, we've got one more place to visit on the tour." He walked over to a nearby elevator, and pushed a button, summoning the lift. I turned to say goodbye to Twitchy, but she appeared to have already left. I shrugged my shoulders, knowing I'd see her again sometime soon, and joined Guardian.
The elevator shared the standard look of the main hall, with a red carpet and white walls, but was large enough to support about 15 average size ponies (or whatever guests would be using this elevator). A golden panel sat next to the front door, displaying all the various floor numbers. A single button marked 'C' shone with a bright light, as we began to rise upwards. The ride, however, ended with an abrupt halt on the 33rd floor. The doors slid open, and revealed something I only thought I'd see in my nightmares. It was a big lumbering humanoid creature, encased in what appeared to be a diver's suit, standing a few feet even above Guardian. In its left hand it carried a toolbox, and on the right sat a massive rusty drill. There was something about the creature that made me want to keep as much distance from them as possible.
"You remember the Big Daddies I talked about earlier?" Guardian whispered into my ear. I nodded slowly, trying not to look at the metal monster. "That's one of them. And they're the security of this place. Just make sure you or any of the patrons don't enrage them, or else...." He ended that point by pointing at the massive drill. I shuddered to think about how much damage that thing could do to somepony. We finally came to the top floor, and the Big Daddy lumbered out of the room, moaning slightly to himself and walking out of sight. The room was a gigantic dome, complete with several windows and screens showing images of rooms inside the Hotel, and even the outlying area. I could see my house from up here! A large machine sat in the center of the room, with a large screen (a computer, as Guardian called it) displaying a series of numbers constantly shifting resting above. Right below the screen was a steering wheel much like that of a pirate's ship, a red light indicating it was locked in place.
"Here we have the Control Room," Guardian announced. "This is where the navigator will have us hop from universe to universe and make sure the Hotel doesn't crash into anything." I looked about the room, amazed at the level of technology put into the whole facility.
"And where is the navigator?" I asked.
"'Allo!" Greeted a loud Prench-sounding voice. I whipped about to see... a bipedal frog in a naval uniform and ridiculous Neighpoleon hat twirling a curly mustache standing right behind me. "I am ze navigator, Commodore Legs! And you must be ze new leader of our fine establishment! A pleasure!" I slowly nodded as the incredible stereotype bowed his incredibly long legs and leapt towards the steering wheel. Guardian took notice of my dumbfounded look, and walked over to where Commodore Legs was working.
"The Commodore here is from the world of Mobius, where anthropomorphic animals and humans live together and such." Guardian said. "He joined up with us after a Space Pirate raid attacked his ship."
"Oui, I lost several good men zat day." Legs recounted sadly, putting his large hat atop his heart. "But ze Hotel, she is a fine vessel, and I will not steer you wrong." With that, Guardian and I left the Commodore to his own devices and stepped back onto the elevator. Slowly, we made our descent to the bottom, not saying a word all the while.
"So, tell me, what do you think?" Guardian asked. I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. This place was bizarre, insane, odd, and somewhat frightening. But all in all, the staff were really nice, if somewhat peculiar for being in other universes. There was one last thing I had to ask before I made the final decision.
"What's the pay like?" I asked.
"In Equestrian currency?" Guardian pondered, stroking his beard. "I'd say about 250 bits a day." My heart nearly skipped a beat. 250 bits a day?! I'd have enough money to buy a fancy Canterlot chariot with that kind of coin. At that moment I was sold. I extended my hoof, and Guardian clasped it in his hand and shook it.
"Looks like your hotel just got a new manager." I said, smiling.
"It appears so." He said. The elevator finally came to a stop at the bottom floor, opening up into the hallway. Waiting for us was everyone I had met during my tour: Fix-It, Yigvar, Moogaroo, Twitchy, several other Skritt, and even a few Big Daddies. They all looked at me with anxious eyes (except for those with none or had them concealed), waiting for the final reply. Guardian stepped forward, his arms stretched outward and proclaimed in a very loud voice. "Ladies, gentlemen, robots and cyborgs, I would like to introduce you to your new manager, Mr. Tab Keeper of Equestria!" The entire hall erupted in cheers, each creature celebrating in their own individual way. I smiled, knowing this would be one grand adventure, and how much work it would take. Lucky for me, I had a great and (hopefully) loyal staff to help me every step of the way. I felt a gloved hand press upon my head, looking up and seeing Guardian smile proudly.
"Welcome to the Hotel Nebula."

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           Chapter 1: A Problimatic Presentation           
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Chapter 1: A Problimatic Presentation
"And loop, and tug, and loop again, and pull!" I said to myself, tightening my red necktie. Looking into my full-body mirror, I felt confident with my nice suit, but one thing was missing. I grabbed a small item off my dresser, and pinned the nametag to the left pocket of my blue suit. The words read in the mirror as clear as daylight Tab Keeper of Equestria, Manager. I chuckled to myself, still disbelieving that three days ago I learned of the existence of other universes and got a job from the Guardian of Worlds to run the Hotel Nebula, the universal traveling building and vacation house. After nearly three days of preparing, I finally found myself ready to open the doors to the worlds. What luck was it that the first place Guardian suggested was Equestria, just to give it one last hurrah before going on the ultimate business trip. However, he left shortly after I got my job, leaving on business involving his organization or whatnot. However, I turned out perfect for the job, putting everyone to the metal and working hard on getting this place ship shape before opening day.
In just a few minutes, I would go down and greet my employees with a speech, then have Commodore Legs fly us to the outskirts of Ponyville and drift towards the center of town. I reached out for my list of rules with my magic, and gave it a glance over. Most of the rules were quite standard for a hotel, like no running or leaving garbage all over the place. Others, however, were much more interesting. We weren't allowed to throw things out of windows, especially if we're over a town, and must confiscate any forms of weapons guests bring in. I was particularly worried about that part, but I knew that if any trouble should arrive, the Big Daddies would handle it. Even if those things scared me to Tartarus. A beeping drew my attention, as I glanced down at my watch. I needed to get down to the lobby and give the promotional speech. I glanced about my bare, golden walled, red carpeted room, seeing how empty it was with just a single-sized bed, a dresser, and mirror. The 250 bits a day would soon remedy that. I left my room on the penthouse floor of the 50 floor hotel, where the employees and certain guests reside, and entered the adjacent elevator. Slowly, the box descended down to the lowest floor. The technology this place has fascinates me. Equestria could really benefit from elevators by just changing the size of the dumbwaiters. Maybe I'll suggest it to one of the Princesses should they come and visit.
The elevator came to the bottom floor with a soft ding, as the doors slowly slid open to the lowest floor. The lobby and main hall was filled with various staff members of the Hotel, mostly Skritt servants, Big Daddy guards, and lesser Mr. Handy models. I saw the higher staff, the new friends I made on my first day here, standing at the front, waiting anxiously for the speech. I trotted up to the podium placed before the receptionist desk (which had tons of cash registers for the various currency types), and tapped the microphone. Once everyone was silent, I pulled out my speech, sat it down on the podium, and began.
"Hello, employees and workers of the Hotel Nebula," I began, the microphone sending my voice echoing off the walls of the building. "First off, I want to congratulate all of you for the hard work you've all put in these past few days in making this building spectacular. A round of applause for all of you." A chorus of clapping echoed across the halls, as the employees all appeared to be in bright spirits. "Today is the first day we open the doors of Hotel Nebula to the public and activate the Gates." I turned towards Fix-It, the Mr. Handy head of maintenance. "F1X-1T, are the Gates completely operational?"
"All Gates are operating at 100% efficiency, sir!" Fix-It proudly stated, one of his robotic arms flexing into a salute.
"Now, I would like to offer some insight into the world we are currently stationed in." I continued. "This is Equestria, land of ponies and my own homeland. Here the three tribes of ponies live in Harmony under the four Princesses."
"Question!" Yigvar Beerbelly, the Nord bartender, called out, raising a forefinger into the air. "How can four Princesses rule without a king or queen to act as the true sovereign? Like the fact you ponies have surpassed the alcohol brewing limits, it makes no sense." I furrowed my brow, having to deal with Yigvar's constant questions about how Equestria works ever since Guardian gave him that bottle of Apple Cider. He's a good man, just a bit doubtful of worlds not his own.
"Well, Princess Celestia decided upon this so that she could divide the work alongside her sister, Princess Luna, as to show she neither ruled above her or vice versa." I explained. "I'll admit, my Equestrian history knowledge is a little rusty, but if Princess Twilight Sparkle decides to visit, you could consider asking her." Yigvar merely gave a loud harrumph before crossing his arms. "Anyway, these ponies are a peaceful race, and will most-likely react to your appearances. They will not mean any harm, so just try and keep calm and smiling faces." I then glanced to the Big Daddies and Mr. Handy's, who had no faces to speak of. "Or just... Don't pester them. Head Chef Moogaroo?"
"Yes, Mr. Keeper?" The little, deep-voiced Quaggan called.
"Pony diet is equine, mainly we can only eat vegetables, grass, and hay. Some pegasi may choose to eat fish, but mostly expect vegetarian meals." I explained, with a wink. "It'll be a grand challenge for a chef of your aptitude."
"Quaggan will not disappoint his customers." Moogaroo said, with a slight bow.
"So just remember, keep calm, take care of the guests, and we'll all end the day with full wallets." I concluded with a prize-winning smile. Everyone broke into clapping and wandered off, doing their respective jobs. After some Skritt hauled away the podium, I pulled out my walkie-talkie and turned it on. "Commodore, how close are we to Ponyville?"
"Four miles and counting!" The frog navigator said over the speaker. "We should arrive in about... ten minutes!"
"Excellent." I said. "I'm going to transport myself down to the town and explain everything. These ponies just got finished cleaning up after an attack by an ancient monster, so I don't want them to think aliens are invading."
"Very well, sir." Commodore Legs replied. "I'll act as Commanding Officer while your onshore. Safe travels, monsieur!" I smiled and deactivated the communicator, bringing up my watch. This watch I keep talking about isn't exactly ordinary. A gift to me from Twitchy, modified by Fix-It, this Multi-Tasking Device acts as not only a time-keeper, but also acts as a translator for guests I couldn't understand, and a long distance teleportation machine. Despite me being a unicorn, the teleport spell takes a great deal of energy out of me, so this little gizmo is quiet the useful tool. I activated the watch with my magic, set my coordinates and destination, and the world around me shifted into a bright light.
I rubbed my eyes once the light faded from the transportation, feeling the familiar country town soil beneath my hooves. Although I had yet to get fully acquainted with the transporter's controls, I was relieved to see I had landed in an alley and not stuck inside of a wall. I peaked my head out of the alley and saw the standard hustle and bustle of the town market, and my destination, Town Hall, just beyond. My goal was simple: get to Town Hall, explain everything to Mayor Mare, have her pass the information onto Princess Twilight, and hopefully she won't go into one of her infamous 'freak-out' moments. Steadily, I walked through the crowd, not drawing any attention to myself (thanks to the same technology used to hide the Hotel), and steadily heading towards the Town Hall. Off in the distance, I could see the dark silhouette of the Hotel Nebula off in the distance, looming ever so closely over the Everfree Forest. I also saw a small black speck moving towards the town at a more rapid pace. A very rapid pace. Right towards me. And I was being stupid and not standing still.
"LOOK OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!" I heard a shout.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I screamed back. I was knocked off my hooves onto the hard dirt, rolling about unceremoniously with the perpetrator. Eventually, we came to an abrupt halt when my head collided with a wheelbarrow, smashing it to pieces. I saw stars and little Skritt chasing them dancing around my head as my eyes fluttered about. "Buh I dun wanna wax Grampy's legs, today..."
"Oh, sweet Celestia, I am so sorry." My assailant said, also sounding equally dazed. I managed to regain focus as my vision began to clear.
"No, it's alright, I wasn't paying attention." I said. Then I got a look at the other pony who hit me. He was a lean, black coated pegasus with a messy purple mane and tail. His cutie mark was that of a crescent moon with a pair of wings. One certain detail that stood out about him was that one eye was colored dark blue while the other a light purple. Only one stallion I knew had this eye colorization about him. "Midnight? Midnight Rider?" The pegasus looked at me, his off-colored eyes widening.
"Tab Keeper? Is that you?" He said. I nodded slowly, smiling as I rose to my feet. Midnight galloped up to me and swung his arms around me in a tight bear-hug. "It really is you! Ha-ha! I haven't seen you in ages!"
"It's good to see you too, 'Night." I strained, my eyes threatening to pop from my eye sockets. "Now, would you kindly release me, my brains are leaking out my ears."
"Whoops," Midnight said, releasing me from his hug of death. "Sorry 'bout that dude. It's just been forever since I've seen you!"
"Three years, my friend." I recounted. "Juvenile Jester's Jamboree. You tried hitting on that corn-cob vendor filly."
"Yeah, they threw me outta the place." Midnight laughed. "Although, the Prench ringleader ranting like a nut-job was funny to watch."  The two of us shared in a nostalgic laugh together, a memory long since passed.
Midnight Rider and I went back a long way. Grew up in Manehatten, next-door neighbors, went to the same school, hung out at each other's homes, and did all sorts of things together. Granted, he was completely opposite to me in most ways. Whereas I am organized and proper, he's sloppy and a bit of a trouble maker. I passed high school with honors, he almost was held back. I had trouble with picking up dates, he was a regular Casanova. He's got a real talent for seeing and flying in the dark, mainly because his mother was a Bat-Pony. Last I heard, he joined the local police force, shortly after I moved to Ponyville.
"So what brings you to Ponyville of all places?" I asked.
"I'm outta the job at the moment," Midnight said, rolling his eyes. "Got kicked off the squad for going 'M.I.A'. Figured I'd come out here to start over."
"Going M.I.A? When did this happen?" I asked, concerned for my friend's actions.
"When that big red guy started stealing all the magic in Equestria." He explained. The both of us visibly shuddered at the moment of Tirek's attack. I remember I was working in Town Hall when I heard a commotion and blacked out after seeing that massive centaur. "What was I supposed to do? He coulda swatted me outta the sky!" He crossed his forehooves and pouted angrily. "But I flew into a sign and got knocked out. Woke up in the infirmary and the chief took my badge." I frowned, putting a hoof on my oldest friend's shoulder. He looked up at me with a smile before regaining his composure. "So what do you do now, buddy? Running for mayor?"
"Well..." I said, darting about my eyes nervously. I had doubts about telling him about Hotel Nebula, but I had to tell him something. So, I did. "I run a... Hotel." Midnight gave me an incredulous look, quirking an eyebrow.
"A hotel? Out here in Ponyville?" He asked. His curiosity faded as a smile beamed across his face and began looking about the town. "Cool, where is it? Can I be a customer?"
"I'll tell you later," I said, raising a hoof to silence my friend. "It's kind of a secret project of mine, but you'll see it soon. In the meantime, I've got to talk with Mayor Mare." I began trotting back towards Town Hall, waving back at my friend. "I'll see you in a little while."
"Okay, dude, I'll catch you later!" Midnight called before flying off.
I entered the Town Hall main building, seeing the familiar receptionist office, with a bored looking, yellow coated mare, blowing a strand of her neatly braided teal mane. I knew her by name, she was Note Writer, but aside from the casual greet on my way to my office, we never had any words. I trotted up to the desk and hit the bell, waking Note from her bored daydreaming.
"Equestria to Note Writer." I joked. She recoiled from the surprise, then shot me an irritated glare.
"Oh, hello Tab Keeper." She half-heartedly greeted. "Haven't seen you around in a while."
I raised an eyebrow. "I quit three days ago. I passed by here to submit my resignation form."
"Really? Well, that stinks." Note said, still completely bored out of her mind. "Well, why are you here? Forget a file in your old office?"
"No, I need to speak with Mayor Mare on an important matter." I stated, placing a hoof on her desk for emphasis. "Can you pass that along to her as soon as possible?" She rolled her eyes and pressed a hoof on her intercom, sending a message to the Mayor's office.
"Mayor Mare," Note Writer droned. "Mr. Tab Keeper wants to talk with you. He says it's urgent." We waited for a couple of minutes for a reply, in which I returned to straightening my uniform, which was a mess after Midnight's collision, and Note fiddled with a pencil between her hooves. A green light flashed on the intercom, confirming our meeting. "Alright, she'll see you know. You know where is office is and blah, blah, blah, leave me be." With a slight frown, I left for the office located near the center of the building. Then, it hit me. And by it, I mean another freakin' pony. The two of us smashed skulls for a moment, and the dizzy stars returned to my head.
"I'm just hitting everypony today..." I muttered to myself. "I'm sorry miss..." And yet again, I saw a familiar face. She was a lily green Earth Pony with a neatly brushed back pink mane, and equally cared for tail. She had lime green eyes and a cutie mark of a water lily, resting on a lily pad. It has been too long since I've seen her.
"Lily. Water Lily." She said, dusting herself off. "And don't mind me, just day-dreaming again, Mr...." Then she looked at me. "Tabs? Tab Keeper is that you?" I smiled warmly at my dear friend, olden nostalgia overtaking my mind.
"In the flesh and fur." I said. She let out an audible 'squee' and flung her hooves around me in an embracing hug, not too tight like Midnight gave, but one of love and comfort, like a pillow.
"I missed you so much, ever since you left Manehatten!" She cried. "Midnight and I, both."
"Yeah, I ran into that old pegasus just outside," I joked. "Collided into me with the force of a train." The two of us shared in a short laugh together.
"Sounds like him." Lily said. I loved the sound of her laughter, like the bells of Hearth Warming Eve. Granted, it wasn't the only thing I loved about her.
Like Midnight Rider, Water Lily and I went back ages. We grew up in Manehatten and attended the same school up until High School. She and I used to hang out with Midnight on several occasions, mostly just as friends. It was years later that I realized how... perfect she was. She was kindhearted, book and street smart, a real go-getter, and a trusted confidant. Granted, my meekness towards those of the other sex overcame me... and I never really got to tell he how I felt. She got a job at some spa in Manehatten, and I moved to Ponyville. We haven't seen each other since.
"What brings you to this not-so quiet town?" I asked.
"The Tender Hooves Spa I worked at just closed down," She explained, digging at the floor with her hoof. "I heard from a friend that there's one here in Ponyville, so I figured I'd start there." Lily returned her gaze to me, batting her eyelids like she always did. "And what do you do, now?" I inwardly flinched, again faced with admitting to the Hotel's existence.
"I run a Hotel." I quickly stated, putting on my best fake smile. Using her unnatural powers of observation, she saw through my ruse and rose an eyebrow.
"A hotel?" She asked, incredulously. "I didn't know there were any big-time hotels in Ponyville." She's onto me. I had to act fast.
"Yeah, it's not open yet," I explained. "I was just about to see the Mayor about getting permits to have it open." She didn't buy it.
"Okay." Lily said. She glanced up at the clock, seeing it now was a quarter 'til noon. "Listen, I need to get going to the Spa to sign an application, so I'll see you later, okay?"
"Absolutely, how's about Sugar Cube Corner?" I suggested. She smiled and nodded. We said our good-byes, and she left. Then I realized the time. Glancing down at my watch, I saw that the countdown timer to when the Hotel was arriving hit zero. I had to be fast to explain everything to the Mayor before the Hotel arrived and ponies begin panicking over a giant floating building hovering over town. I had to be quick, I had to be nimble, I had to hurry, I had to quit talking to myself like this, I had to...
"SWEET MOTHER OF CELESTIA, WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS THAT?!" I heard a filly shout from outside. I was... too late. I looked out the window and saw a pink mare with a yellow mane pointing up at the sky, apparent fear in her eyes. Then I noticed the massive shadow sitting over the town, and the large chunk of ground that held the Hotel midair. Definitely too late.
"Mr. Tab Keeper," Said the stern voice of Mayor Mare. I turned about, a sheepish grin on my face, and faced the light brown, grey mane Earth pony. "You said you wanted to speak with me?"
"... I can explain."
For what seemed like hours, I spent a great deal of time explaining that the Hotel Nebula was not an alien craft coming to abduct everypony to the far reaches of space to the Mayor and City Council. It took even longer to explain to the panicky and paranoid Princess Twilight and the other Elements of Harmony, especially to one Miss Rainbow Dash, whom was especially convinced it was an invasion and I was being mind controlled. Thankfully, they were understanding and allowed us to dock above Ponyville and open the Hotel. With express permission, I was granted the request to announce the Hotel's opening in Equestria to the populace, and open the doors to the public. Within a matter of minutes, everypony was gathered in front of Town Hall, curious and startled by the massive sky scraper floating half a mile above their heads. I sat onstage, wedged between two councilors as Mayor Mare explained to everypony why the Hotel floated above. A good look at the crowd showed a sea of fear and anxiety about the whole matter, especially since the last disaster Equestria had was fairly recent. I saw Midnight Rider and Water Lily amongst the crowd, looking both perturbed and confused. I wanted to crawl underneath a rock and never come out, I was so nervous.
"And so, I would like to call upon Mr. Tab Keeper," Mayor Mare announced through her microphone. "The manager of this hotel, to explain everything in full detail." She stepped off the podium and gestured her hoof to beckon me. Shakily and steadily, I walked up to the microphone and gazed out at the crowd. I swallowed the lump in my throat, took a deep breath, and reached into my suit, pulling out my well prepared speech.
"Good day, fillies and gentlecolts of Ponyville," I said, keeping my voice neutral and my face stony. "I would like to apologize for the abrupt arrival of the massive hotel floating above our heads at this very moment. A warning should have been given out in advance, but the Hotel has only recently arrived in Equestria naught but three days ago. I would like to also emphasis that the Hotel is not, I repeat, not in any way a threat towards pony-kind in any way possible. It is simply that, a traveling hotel. Granted, it is a hotel that travels across time and space itself to different universes, but posses no true treats. Just watch out in case someone throws something out a window." A couple chuckles emerged from the crowd. "Now, the Hotel Nebula is, as I have stated, a massive universe traveling hotel, and as the newest manager of the fine establishment, I would like to announce that the first day of service shall by in Equestria. And what better place to start than the friendliest town around, Ponyville?" Cheers erupted from the audience. Praise always goes a long way. "So in forth, the Hotel Nebula shall open its doors in approximately twenty minutes to anypony who wishes to go on the adventure of a lifetime or a simple get-away. Just a reminder that the staff aren't from around here, so those of you that do choose to be our guests, please be kind and don't stare. Thank you and have a pleasant day." Applauding stomps and cheers shook the ground as I stepped off the stand with a smile on my face. The crowd dispersed and I proceeded to walk away from the crowd so to teleport myself back to the lobby. I was unfortunately halted by a black hoof in my chest.
"So that's the big hotel you were talking about earlier?" Midnight asked, pointing a wing up at the aforementioned establishment. He and Water Lily stood in my way, both bearing bemused looks.
"Yes, it is." I said. "Sorry I couldn't fully explain, but something like that needed to be kept under wraps for a while."
"You could've told us," Water Lily said, a frown forming. "We're your friends, we'd understand." I saw the hurt in their eyes, and it tore me up. A lack of trust can cause great damage to a friendship, and I was so wrapped up in work that I couldn't even tell my best friends about the hotel. I decided to remedy the whole issue immediately.
"Look, I know I was being a dummy by not telling you," I stated, my eyes drifting to the ground. "So I'm sorry for that, but to make it up to you," I brought my head back up, a genuine smile appearing on my face. "How's about a first-hoof tour of the place before the doors open?" Midnight's frown immediately shot up into a smile, while Lily only slightly shifted her lips.
"For real? A tour of some other-worldly hotel before it gets crowded?" He asked, grinning ear-to-ear. "Heck yes!" He flew up into the air and did several victory loops as I chuckled at his antics. I looked at Lily, hoping for a positive answer. Eventually, she conceded with a sigh and a small smile.
"You talked me into it." Lily admitted. "But I'm still a little mad at you."
"Alright!" I lifted my watch and input the return coordinates for the Hotel Lobby. I grabbed Midnight and Lily in my hooves, and held them close to me. "Hold on tight, we're going on a little trip." And in a flash of light, we were gone.

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             Chapter 2: A Not-So Typical Tour              
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Chapter 2: A Not-So Typical Tour
Let's face it, we've all done things we've regret. As children, we may have stolen from the cookie jar. We could've cheated on tests we never studied for. We threw stones and accidentally broke a window. We even stayed up to late to see if the Slendermane was real. We've done stupid things we end up regretting later. And right now was one of those moments. Shortly after my speech and convincing the town, as well as my friends, that the Hotel Nebula was in no way evil, I transported myself, Midnight Rider, and Water Lily to the lobby for an impromptu tour of the place.  Rubbing my eyes to clear out the blinding light, I glanced about, once again in the pristine white and red hall of the lobby. Now, I wasn't completely used to the teleportation yet, but I had some experience, my friends, however, did not. Water Lily kept massaging her head with her hooves, wincing at a minor headache, while Midnight stumbled about in a dizzied state. Eventually, the two got their bearings, and gazed in wonder at the interior, eyes wide and jaws dropped.
"Wow." Midnight said. "This place is HUGE!"
"Oh, this is but a fourth of the actual size." I said, waving a hoof. "Fifty stories in height, a total of 275 floors per floor. A total of twenty-five floors rest in the reception and lobby alone."
"Incredible." Lily mused. Her eyes narrowed, raising a hoof towards the roof. "Hey, what's with the flags?" I followed her hoof, and saw the various flags and banners from across the various universes hanging limply from their poles.
"Those," I explained. "Are the Flags of Unity, as Guardian called them. They belong to the universes that have Gates connecting to the Hotel. These aren't all of them, just the more frequent customers, so I'm told."
"And who is Guardian?" Water Lily asked.
"My boss, the one who hired me." I said. "Nice guy, a little vague on certain details, but genuinely kind." The tell-tale sounds of claws scratching on the floor signaled to me that we were no longer alone. Knowing full well that the Skritt Bellhops were nearby, I was about to announce their presence, but they beat me to it.
"Uh... Tabs," Midnight asked, tapping my shoulder from behind me. "What are these... things?" I turned about, and saw Midnight gawking at a pair of gray furred Skritt, their ears twitching about and beady eyes staring curiously.
"Those are Skritt," I explained. "A sort of rodent people from the world of Tyria. They've been employed as Bellhops and cleaners." One of the Skritt, one with a black spot over his left eye, stepped forward, his twiddling his claws in nervousness.
"Uh... Mr. Boss-Pony," The Skritt said. "Are we open? Why other ponies here?"
"Relax, my furry little friend," I said, placing a hoof on the poor fellow's shoulder. "They're friends of mine, and I'm giving them a tour." I leaned over to both my friends, each staring wide eyed at the bizarre creatures before them. "They get a little nervous around other species they've never seen before. Just don't show them anything shiny."
"Why?" Lily asked, carefully eyeballing one of the Skritt who was, ahem, digging for gold.
"Think Diamond Dogs, but for junk." I said. The two Skritt, of which I have decided to call Spot (for the black fur patch over his eye), and Fleabag (for the fact he was constantly scratching himself), walked up to Midnight and carefully eyed the pegasus' wings.
"He got wings." Fleabag said. "Boss-Pony has horn. Why other pony have wings, not horn?"
"Because I was born that way." Midnight grunted as Spot decided to tug on his wings.
"Cool. Flappy, flappy, flappy." Spot said, playing with Midnight's wings like a little child. I chuckled at their antics, but knew the tour would never get on with the tour if they continued to tug on my friend's wings. So, I reached into my suit pocket, pulled out a shiny rock, and tossed it down the hall. The effect was instantaneous, the two Skritts heads whipped about, gawking at the shiny object of their desire.
"SHINY!" They cried out, scampering away from Midnight and wrestling over who got the rock. My pegasus friend chuckled at their antics, flexing his wings and un-ruffling his feathers. Lily kept watching the two Skritt wrestling, so I decided to join her.
"Interesting to see creatures from another world, isn't it?" I asked. "How different they look, how they act.... How badly they smell, it's really amazing." Whilst the two of us began chatting about the creatures from beyond, I didn't notice Midnight Rider sneaking off to do something else. Then I heard him laughing and the sound of clanking metal.
"Dude, these are the freakiest looking metal statues I've ever seen!" He loudly laughed. I quickly whipped my head around, and saw he was hovering face to face with one of the security. And it was staring back. Oh no. "I mean look at it! It's like someone stuffed an ape in a diver suit. And look at that creepy drill! It's like something outta a haunted house!" He tapped his hoof on the rusted drill, a small clanking sound echoing off the metallic monster. "Seriously, what kinda statue is this?"
"That's not a statue." I deadpanned, my eyes wide with fright. My flying friend turned about, a confused look on his face.
"What?" He asked.
"That's not a statue," I repeated. "That's the security." Almost on cue, the drill mounted on the Big Daddy's arm began to rotate, and the yellow lights on the helmet turned an ominous red. Midnight yelped like a filly, diving away from the angry monster as it swung its drill and flew behind me. It loomed over me, its large hand and drill towering like a demented dentist and hungered for my friend's blood.
"Relax, Mr. Big Daddy," I shakily said. "He's just a guest. He's not going to cause trouble," I shot Midnight an angry glare, the pegasus cowering behind my and Lily. "RIGHT?" He nodded his head furiously to the point I though his small brains would be knocked loose. Knowing the threat to be no more, the Big Daddy's lights turned yellow, and with a whale-like moan, it lumbered off back to its post. Once Midnight calmed himself down (and suffered from hiccups due to irregular breathing), Lily stormed up to me with angry eyes.
"What in Celestia's mane was that thing?!" She shouted. "It nearly killed Midnight!"
"A Big Daddy," I explained. "And keep your voice down." I pointed a hoof at the aforementioned guard. "They don't like loud noises." Lily took a deep breath, calming herself but still keeping that irritated look.
"Okay, but what exactly is it?" She prodded, a little quieter this time.
"I'm not sure, myself," I admitted. "I think they're robots, but there's something... oddly sentient about them. Guardian only gave me a little on the matter, saying they're from some underwater city. For the meantime, let's just leave it at that." Another one of Midnight's hiccups redirected my attention. "Here, let's go to the bar and pick up something for you, pal." His eyes lit up like street lanterns.
"There's a *hic* bar here?" He excitedly asked. I rolled my eyes with a small nod. The response I got was a backflip in midair and loud cheering, accompanied by hiccups.
I led the way to the Void Vineyard, the bar of Hotel Nebula, and found it almost packed with off-duty Skritt. At the front of the room, right in front of the glass wall of on display brews, was Yigvar Beerbelly and some unfortunate Skritt, drinking heavily while those attending shouted "go" continuously. A loud clanking sound of a wooden mug now empty blasted across the room as the bartender finished his drink, yellow foam dripping off his beard. His opponent, instead, fell off his stood and passed out on the floor. The large Nord raised his arms and bellowed what I could assume to be a victory shout of some sorts, while the audience cheered onward.
"I am the greatest!" He shouted.
"Greatest at sampling his own products, that is." I said, making my way to the bar stand. Yigvar immediately redirected his attention to me, taking his place at the bar and cleaning out the mug he drank from.
"Aye, I was participating in a friendly little drinking competition." He quickly explained.
"Yeah, friendly..." I heard Lily mutter, staring at the drunken Skritt still collapsed on the floor.
"We're opening in less than half-an hour, Yigvar!" I said, tapping my hoof on the table. "Try and stay sober until we close for the night!" He merely grumbled as he slid the clean mug away before moving onto the next one. "Midnight, Lily, this is Yigvar Beerbelly, the bartender of this establishment." The Nord's eyes drifted to my friends, furrowing his brow and raising a fat finger.
"You there, winged one," Yigvar said.
"Name's Midnight Rider, pal." Midnight said.
"How can you handle your drink?" He asked, a mischievous look glinting in his eyes. The same look I saw reflect in Midnight's. I placed a hoof upon my face and groaned in irritation.
"Better than you can, I bet." Midnight gloated. And here he goes with his ego. Yigvar chuckled ominously, putting up two metal tankards and pouring the contents of a red bottle into the drinks.
"Black-Briar Mead, a strong brew from my own home of Skyrim." He said, sliding the cup to my friend. "Can you handle it?" The two locked eyes, while Lily and I took opposite seats next to my friend. In one quick swipe, Midnight drank the entire contents of the brew in two gulps. Setting the tankard down with a relaxed sight, the black upstart of a pegasus once again glared at Yigvar.
"That was nothing." He nonchalantly stated. "What else ya got?" Shocked for an instant, Yigvar grumbled before producing a ceramic jar and poured out a purple brew.
"Junniberry ale, an exotic drink from the land of Elona." Yigvar stated. "Very hard to acquire, as the country is now dominated by the dead." Once again, Midnight took the drink in his hooves and drank it all, not once even flinching.
"Nice taste, but I bet you're holding out." Midnight goaded. Grunting again, Yigvar produced a metallic and futuristic looking canister and poured the fruity pink contents into the now empty cup.
"Tarisian Ale, brewed inside the fermentation glands of a Tach monkey and stewed in Juma Juice alcohol for three weeks." Yigvar said. "Not recommended for lightweights." The simple repeat of Midnight drinking went full circle yet again.
"Mmm... Fruity." Midnight said, licking his lips. "Kinda like peaches dipped in cider." Starting to take a liking to his challenger, Yigvar pulled an entire barrel from behind his stand and poured a yellow and green elixir into the cup.
"Rakk Ale Surprise, a standard Pandoran brew with a small bit of venom of the flying beasts for an extra kick," A sinister glint shimmered in Yigvar's gaze. "Relatively harmless to only those with a true beer gut." Without so much as a second thought, Midnight drank the entire cup in three gulps, only swaying slightly.
"Little spicy..." Midnight slurred a bit. "And I'm getting a head rush, or somethin'."
"Must be the venom." I muttered. "Look, Yigvar, I've got a tour to continue, so let me just get Midnight out of here before you end up poisoning him with another brew of yours."
"One more drink, sir," Yigvar objected. "I want to see how your friend Midnight can handle the best brew in my inventory." I turned to ask Lily for her opinion, only to find he lost interest a while ago and was standing in front of the jukebox. Rolling my eyes, I allowed Yigvar to continue this drinking game. Quickly the Nord pulled out a small vial from his pockets, a rose-red liquid sloshing within.
"Oh, come on! That's your best stuff?" Midnight complained, his wings fully extended. "I think the Rakk Ale stuff is better." Without saying anything, Yigvar produced a shot glass and filled it a quarter of the way with the mysterious brew, and pushed it towards Midnight.
"Try it." Yigvar ordered. Slowly and surely, Midnight took the shot glass and drank it all without a second thought. He smacked his lips for a few seconds, trying to get a feel for the taste. Finally, he concluded with a satisfied grin... then promptly fell on the bar stand, completely asleep. While Lily and I tried to find what was wrong with Midnight, Yigvar was loudly laughing his large behind off.
"What did you give him?!" Lily shouted, staring daggers at him.
"Sanguine's Rose, a drink made by the God of Trickery and Debauchery himself!" Yigvar laughed. "No living being has ever been able to handle more that a quarter shot of that! And he drank it without a second thought!" As he collapsed on the floor roaring in laughter, Lily and I continued to rouse him from his sleep. Whatever was in that drink sure did it's job right. He's going have a massive hangover when he wakes up. Luckily for us, a certain head of maintenance robot was passing by and overheard the commotion.
"Dear me!" Fix-It exclaimed, hovering over to me and my collapsed friend. "What happened here?!"
"Midnight Rider here had one too many drinks," I explained. "Do you have any robot things to wake him up?"
"As a maintenance Mr. Handy model," Fix-It explained. "I am equipped with a high voltage welding torch, but I can possibly repurpose it to give him a little shock, I suppose."
"I don't care if it can bring back the dead, just zap him!" Fix-It made a sort of groaning sound, pushing Lily and I aside with one of his arms, while one of the other appendages started to glow a light blue. He tapped the electric claw on Midnight's still breathing chest as his robotic eyes lit up.
"Clear."
*FFZZZZZZZT*
With that single jolt of amplified electricity, Midnight's eyes shot open, his pupils shrank to pinpricks, and he blasted off the floor and began colliding with the walls. Eventually, he crashed into a chair, his face frozen in shock. After a few seconds, his wings extended and a dopey grin encompassed his face.
"Pop them all, yeah I'm sweatin'!" He exclaimed. "Whoo!"
"He's fine." I said, helping my buzzed up friend off the ground. "Now, I think we should get some food before the Gourmet is overcrowded." As Fix-It waved off, and Yigvar remained laughing on the floor, we left for the Gourmet, the grumbling in my belly and the pounding of my headache driving me to finish this insane tour, I only just realized how hard it would be to put up with this on a daily basis once those doors open to the public.
One Short Trot Later....
"Why are all the rooms in this place so big?!" Lily exclaimed, gawking at the massive hall that is the Gourmet. The white clothed tables dotting the red walled room were all neatly lined and set with silver platters and utensils, ready for hungry customers. I can't help but feel pride in seeing such a place under my careful watch. Well, Chef Moogaroo runs the restaurant, but I'm his boss, so it sort of makes sense. And as his boss, I get free meals whenever I want (but I still leave some money to avoid getting a knife in my chest. Seriously, for a little whale person, he's got one mean temper!). I figured now would be a great time to take advantage of that and treat my friends.
"At least the acoustics are great." I said, putting my friends at a nice table for three. "I'm going to speak with the Head Chef about getting something to eat, just sit down and keep comfortable." The two agreed and picked up the menus on the table as I trotted into the kitchen. I found the little blue Quaggan standing atop a stool, trying to reach for a box of salt on a shelf, his short arms sadly too short to complete the task. Imagine the look on his face when he saw the box envelope in my red magic and drop itself into his stubby hands.
"Coo... Quaggan knew Quaggan could get this infernal box!" Moogaroo cheered, wobbling on the stool. He eventually lost balance, and slipped, but I quickly caught him with my magic and gently sat him down. "Oooh... Thank you Mr. Keeper. That must have been yooOOOuuu who got Quaggan's box of salt, then?"
"Indeed it was, my friend." I said. "Just trying to help out." Moogaroo chuckled and straightened his comically large hat. "Listen, I have a favor to ask you."
"Unless its for blood, Quaggan will help any way Quaggan can." Moogaroo said, as though someone asked for his blood before. I wonder if they're vamponies... err... vampires where he's from.
"Okay, I've got two friends with me," I explained, pointing out the serving window. "And I'm giving them a tour, and I would like to request some food for us. So... please?" I ended with a wide and hopefully not pathetic smile. Moogaroo raised a small hand to what I presume to be his chin, and let out a small sigh in pondering. Eventually, his wide eyes curled into a smile as he waddled over to a chopping table.
"Coo! Quaggan will take this challenge to make pony food!" He declared, raising a cutting knife. "For a friend of Quaggan's boss is a friend of Quaggan." With that, he began chopping up lettuce and other vegetables with the speed of lightening. Content with the kindness and devotion of my employees, I trotted out of the kitchen and joined my friends at the table, both of whom still musing over their menus.
"I really want to try the Zebrican Lettuce salad," Lily said. "To be open to other cultures, but the Canterlot Carrot Soup looks just like the one they serve in Canterlot."
"Where's that on the menu?" Midnight asked, analyzing his menu from all angles. "All I'm getting are fast hay foods and flower sandwiches I get at vendors. I thought this place was a fancy restaurant!"
"It is," I explained, lifting a menu in my magic. "These menus are telepathically linked to the reader to display whatever cuisine they're used to. In my case, I see a standard assortment of salads and flower sandwiches, plus some special dishes the Chef prepared for me on my first days here." I leaned over to Lily and whispered into her ear. "Might I recommend the Quaggan Seaside Salad for exotic?" Lily shrugged and put her menu down, as did Midnight as we all agreed on what to eat. Soon enough, a Skritt dressed in a waiter uniform (at least the top half) passed by, took our orders, and jolted into the kitchen.
Ten or so minutes later, after a long conversation of reminiscing on memories past, the doors to the kitchen swung open, and a tall white chef hat was pushing a cart filled with our food. No wait, it was Moogaroo pushing the cart. Atop the cart were two finely decorated salads, and a small tray of fast food. As the cart came to a halt, all it took was one look and Lily squealed at the sight of the Chef.
"Eeeeeeeeeee! He's so cute!" She proclaimed, sweeping up Moogaroo in her forehooves and holding him close to her chest. The little guy was absolutely terrified. "It's a fish baby in a chef's hat! Are you the head chef's child?"
With a bemused face, Moogaroo responded. "No, Quaggan is Head Chef Moogaroo, and is a fully grown Quaggan who desires to be put down. NOW." Surprised at the deep voiced aquatic creature, Lily dropped Moogaroo to the ground as he neatened his hat.
"I probably should have mentioned her cuteness magnet." I whispered to the irate chef. With a loud harrumph, he clapped his hands and a Skritt skittered up to the cart, lifting the assorted foods.
"First, we have the Quaggan Seaside Salad for Mr. Tab Keeper," Moogaroo explained, taking on a dignified restaurant tone of professionalism. "Consisting of Krytan lettuce, Eda Farms apple slices, shredded Quaggan seaweed, cubed Ascalonian carrots, and drenched in hand-made dressing." My favorite dish made by Moogaroo. Only three days and he knows me so well. Midnight looked over at the well crafted salad on my platter, then up at me with a confused look.
"Seaweed?" He asked. "You put seaweed on this?"
"Hey, don't knock it until you try it." I said, taking a bite off my salad fork. The Skritt reached out and grabbed a fancy looking salad topped with various berries and flower pedals.
"For Ms. Water Lily, we have prepared a Fillydelphian beet and lettuce salad," Moogaroo continued. "Topped with wild daisy pedals, blackberries, and sprinkled with Neighponese lotus leaves." Lily looked at the appetizing dish before her, staring wide eyed with amazement. With a cautionary motion, she picked up a fork, took a piece of the salad, and chewed it slowly. Her eyes lit up with every munch, her lime green eyes widening extremely. She made a "yummy" sound, and sped up her eating, practically demolishing the meal. I looked at Moogaroo, the small Quaggan's face showing a mix between shock and joy.
"I think she likes it." I joked. Moogaroo gave a small smile, which quickly faded as he moved onto the final dish, Midnight's.
"And lastly we have..." He visibly shuddered at the last meal. "A Hay-burger with a side of potato fries with extra onions and mustard," I could've sworn he shot my black coated friend a hateful look. "For Mr. Midnight Rider." The plate dropped in front of Midnight unceremoniously, but he clearly didn't care.
"Alright! I'm starving!" He exclaimed. And with the same gluttonous antics we saw at the Vineyard, he dove muzzle first into his food and eating it like he had been literally starved for months. Bits of fried potatoes, shreds of wheat buns, and baked hay splattered all over the table, fearful of the monster we had just unleashed. Once the entire plate was cleaned off and Midnight's ravenous hunger was sated, he finished off with a loud resounding belch that shook the foundations of the hotel. All of us, especially Moogaroo, where shocked.
"Mother of Mellaggan...." He murmured. Midnight turned towards the Quaggan chef, his wings fully flexed and mouth in a wide smile.
"Dude, that was the BEST hay burger I've ever eaten in my entire life!" Midnight praised. "The taste, the texture, the aroma, the other fancy food things I don't know names of!" I glanced at Moogaroo, worried the Quaggan would go berserk, but instead, he was BLUSHING!
"Oh... Really? You think Quaggan's hay burger is good?" He asked.
"Heck yeah!" Midnight shouted. "I'd come here every day for lunch just to get another one of those. I don't think I can go back to the Burger Joint after that delicious meal!"
Moogaroo chuckled, cleaning off his hat of foodstuff. "Well, truth be told, Quaggan really thinks that fast food is nothing but poorly made garbage sold to consumers just to make an extra couple of coins. Quaggan wanted to brutally stab at something with a cleaver while making it, but the customer is always right. Quaggan might consider adding it to the menu." His chipper face vanished for a second, an almost feral look taking over. "MIGHT." Once that subsided, Moogaroo and the Skritt began pushing the cleaned off cart off back to the kitchen. "Enjoy your meals, they're on the house!" Once Moogaroo was out of sight, I leaned on the table and looked at my two friends.
"So, what do you think?" I asked. "Isn't this place something?"
"It's something, alright," Lily said, picking up another piece of her salad. "It's something that isn't normal."
"It's a Hotel for things from other worlds, Lily," Midnight said, raising his hooves. "Of course this place isn't normal." He tapped on the table with one of his hooves, staring wide-eyed at Lily. "And that's what makes it awesome."
"See? 'Night gets it!" I said, throwing a foreleg around my dark coated friend's shoulder. "But I just want you to understand how important this job is to me, and still to apologize for ignoring you two back in Ponyville."
"I don't think it's a safe job!" Lily exclaimed. "The security guards have arm mounted drills, the bellhops are rats, the bartender served venom in one of his drinks, and the chef openly admitted to wanting to hurt Midnight! I just..." She looked down at the table, her face dropping into a frown. I looked at her, concerned for whatever she thought.
"You just what?" I asked, leaning over to her. She looked up at me, her eyes wide and moist.
"I just don't want you to get hurt." She admitted. We locked eyes, and I could feel how much she cared for me. And I'm pretty sure she saw the same in mine. I put a hoof to her shoulder, giving her the best and most comforting smile I could muster.
"Lily, I promise you," I cooed. "I will not come to harm working at Hotel Nebula. I trust the staff with my life, as they do me. Not to mention I know a few skills to keep myself safe." She chuckled for a bit, looking back at me.
"I don't think Advanced Telekinesis will help against something like one of your security guards." She chuckled. We both shared a laugh, before my face turned serious once more.
"I promise I will be safe." I assured. Slowly but surely, her face brightened as she gave me a confirming nod. Our peaceful moment was broken, however, by the sound of a certain pegasus groaning.
"Are we done with this sappy moment," He groaned. "Or can we get done with this meal?" Rolling my eyes, Lily and I returned to our seats and continued our meals. The rest of the time was set in silence, eating our meals and enjoying our time together. The silence was broken when the feedback of a microphone echoed across the building.
"Attention, madames and monsieurs," Said the voice of Commodore Legs through an intercom. "The Hotel will be opening in less than five minutes! Positions, the whole lot of you!"
"Oh, great!" I groaned, dropping my fork. I stood from my seat and turned to my friends. "I'm sorry, but duty calls, and it is the opening day." Lily and Midnight smiled at me, the lime-green mare waving a hoof.
"Go on, it'll be fine." Lily said. "We'll talk some more after you're done." I beamed at my friends, bowed my head, and quickly took off for the Lobby. Inside the place was filled with ready Skritt, a few Mr. Handy robots, Big Daddy guards watching the place, and even Yigvar, all standing firm and proper. I took my place at the front of the group, straightening my tie and putting on the best smile I knew. It was here, the moment we had prepared for three days, finally coming to pass. The doors slowly cracked open, denizens of Equestria slowly milling their way in. All that was left was the line I had rehearsed for hours on end. I took a deep breath, raised a foreleg, and beamed at the guests.
"Welcome to Hotel Nebula!"

//-------------------------------------------------------//
              Chapter 3: Disaster on Day One               
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 3: Disaster on Day One
"Welcome to Hotel Nebula!" I proudly greeted to the ponies of Equestria. "The Hotel that travels across the universes! As you may know, I am Tab Keeper, Hotel Manager. The Skritt rodents you see here are the bellhops, and will take care of you if needed. I will be running the receptionist desk should any of you desire a room. The collection of standard rules are found on every floor and room. The bar for adults is located to your left, as the Gourmet restaurant is to your right. Thank you for arriving, and have a pleasant stay!" After my speech, I quickly stood behind the aforementioned receptionist desk, watching as the crowd of ponies came towards me, while others went to the Void Vineyard or the Gourmet. Flanking my sides were a pair of smaller Mr. Handy robots, each running their own cash registers, awaiting to give room keys. My first customer/guest stood before me, a thin white unicorn mare with a red and blue mane, her cutie mark a pair of arrows cycling each other, with what appeared to be a small family behind her.
"Hello, I would like to rent a room for a family of five," She said. "Three adults and two fillies." I looked at the group, and saw two older unicorns, one a dark gray stallion with a red mane, another light gray mare with a blue mane. Two smaller fillies, one blue with a red mane, the other red with a blue mane, sat at the hooves of their parents. I looked at the young mare, and with a smile, began punching buttons on the cash register.
"One room for five," I repeated. "For how many nights?"
"Three, I suppose." She said, glancing at her family. "Hey, are there any dangerous things here?"
"Only if you break the rules," I said. "Okay, that'll be about fifteen bits per night." The cash register dinged, displaying the payment. "You can pay in advance, or wait until you decide to leave." She blinked at me, glancing at the price on the register constantly.
"Only fifteen bits?" She asked. "That's fairly reasonable for three nights."
"Hotel Nebula believes that customers should have to pay fairly," I said. Walking behind to a large cabinet, I pressed a button on a control panel, and the cabinet opened up, revealing a shiny gold room key. I took the key in my magic, set it on the desk, and beamed at the young mare. "Your room is room 452 on the third floor, left side. Thank you and have a pleasant stay Miss..."
"Redux," She said, nodding. "And thank you." As she took the key in her white colored magic, she trotted off with her family. I smiled, looking at the groups of ponies all milling about, fraternizing with the workers as the entire place ran like a well-oiled machine. Before I went of daydreaming, I received a bit of a surprise when I saw my next guest, needless to say.
The features were easily recognizable: light purple coat, violet mane with a single pink streak running through, purple eyes, a regal horn, elegant wings plastered to the sides, and a cutie mark of a starburst. Of course, there probably isn't a single pony in Equestria who hadn't heard of Princess Twilight Sparkle. Heck, before she was even a princess, I filed her forms to move into the Golden Oaks Library. I bowed my head as the Princess of Friendship trotted up to me.
"Hello again, your Highness," I greeted. We had spoken earlier that day on accounts of the Hotel parking itself above Ponyville. "What do I owe this pleasure?"
"Just exploring the place I allowed to stay up here." She said, looking about the place.  "Which, I must say, is AMAZING!" She moved about, raising a hoof to about everything in the vicinity. "The staff, the décor, the flags, the fact this place is floating midair without the aids of clouds! It's incredible! Speaking of," Twilight turned to me again, this time with curiosity in her eyes. "How is this place floating?" I looked about, trying to think of a viable answer. Eventually, I shrugged my shoulders and told her the truth.
"I'm not sure, your Highness," I admitted. "Be it magic or advanced technology, I am unaware. Maybe you can ask some of the older staff."
"Thank you, Mr. Keeper," She said, pausing for a moment, looking about the building once more. "Say, you wouldn't happen to have seen my other friends around? Y'know, the other Elements of Harmony?"
"No I have not, ma'am," I said. "But I'll be sure as to keep a look out for them..." Then all Tartarus broke loose.
"RUN AWAY!" I heard a certain chattering voice shout. I looked towards the lobby, and I saw Twitchy, the pale furred Skritt I met on my first day (whom later discovered to be the leader of the Skritt here), running full-sprint towards the desk, a horrified look in her beady eyes. I trotted from behind the desk and quickly caught Twitchy in my forelegs.
"Hey, Twitchy, what's wrong?" I asked. The poor girl looked up at me, panting heavily and sweat matting her white fur.
"Scary pink thing!" She exclaimed. "It grabbed me and wouldn't let go! Spoke really fast and scary! Don't let pink thing hurt me?"
"Pink thing?" I asked, unsure of what she meant. "What pink thing?" I felt somepony tap my shoulder, glancing up and seeing Princess Twilight with a pained expression on her face.
"I think your friend might be talking about Pinkie Pie...." She said. I groaned, slapping a hoof to my face, realizing what happened. Scanning about the crowd, I found my pink target and steadily moved to her position. The pink earth pony mare with a wildly curly pink mane and the cutie mark of three balloons, the aforementioned Pinkie Pie, was bouncing about, beaming widely as she glanced about the place.
"Oh Miss Rat-thingy! Are we playing hide-and-seek?" She squeaked. "I love that game!" Before she could take off, I quickly grabbed her tail with my magic and held her still, turning the hyperactive mare towards me.
"Excuse me, Miss Pie," I said. "I recently got a terrified complaint about you harassing my employees."
"Harassing?" She asked, still smiling. "Does that mean playing around?"
I frowned. "It means disturbing, distressing, detrimentally harming. Miss Pie, I do believe you are frightening my employees." Princess Twilight appeared next to her friend, wrapping a hoof around her shoulder.
"Pinkie, I get you're trying to be friendly with the employees," She explained. "But I don't think they're used to this kind of attention."
"In fact," I added. "Skritt themselves were an underground dwelling society, constantly picked on and tormented by more powerful races back in their world. Poor things."
"So..." Pinkie said, tapping her chin. "They don't want to be friends with me?" Her mane drooped downward, almost like a deflated balloon.
"Now, now, Miss Pie," I reassured. "I'm sure the Skritt would love companionship, but they're not used to this kind of attention. Take it slowly with them, and everything will come together like a simple puzzle." She seemed to get it, at least for an instant, but before I could continue, a loud crash occurred from the direction of the Gate Room. I quickly excused myself and went to check out the issue. The room filled with both high-tech and ancient magical Gates between worlds was filled with smaller Mister Handy robots flying about, trying to keep everything running smoothly. In the center of it all was Fix-It, the larger Mister Handy working in front of a very large and ominously black Gate that had a trail of smoke billowing out. I galloped to the robot as fast as my hooves could carry me, until finally skidding to a halt next to a pile of spare parts.
"Connect the blue wire to port B," Fix-It muttered to himself as his robotic appendages worked inside a sparking box. "Install the hexagonal microchip into slot H. Untangle the red and black wires toge- Oh, hello there, Master Tab Keeper."
"Hello, Fix-It." I said. "There's smoke coming out of here, is there something wrong?"
"Blast it," He groaned. "This Gate to the Netherworld is slightly malfunctioning. One of the lesser models practically wired it into the Void!" His three glowing eyes turned to me, lenses slightly closed to give off the impression of squinting. "I promise you, sir, that the Gates will be operational within the hour."
"Good," I said, tapping a hoof on the metallic chassis. "We need the Gates ready for opening before lunchtime." Fix-It gave a quick salute before returning to the haywire Gate. Before I could return to my post, a certain rainbow mane pegasus with a blue coat was hovering dangerously close to the aforementioned Gate.
"What the hay is this thing supposed to be?" She asked, prodding the interior of the arch with a hoof.
"Miss Rainbow Dash, please don't touch that!" I exclaimed, waving my hooves. "That is very sensitive equipment!" The aforementioned upstart turned towards me, slowly retracting her hoof.
"What for?" Rainbow Dash asked. "It's not gonna explode on me, or whatever."
"Actually, ma'am," Fix-It proclaimed. "If this Gate is severely tampered with, it could backfire and create a one-way vacuum into the Void. In a sense of the term, it would 'explode' on you." Her face paled immediately, as she slowly hovered away from the machine towards me. I clanked on Fix-It's spherical body for terrifying our guests, returning with a comforting look to Rainbow Dash.
"So, Miss Dash, why and how did you get in here?" I asked. "This area is currently restricted to employees and staff only."
"Eh, saw you come in here and these strange floaty guys moving about." She said with a shrug. "Figured there'd be something cool in here."
"While I'll admit the Gates to other universes and the robots are indeed cool," I said. "You are breaking Hotel rules by trespassing. I highly suggest you leave and return to your friends before I call security. And believe me," I leaned forward, squinting my eyes for good measure. "I don't want to cause problems on day one." I must've come across as more threatening, as Rainbow Dash flew up to my face, pressing her muzzle against mine, an angry glint in her eyes.
"If that a threat, pal?" She asked through gritted teeth. "Cuz if it is, you better bring something to back it up." Knowing the stubbornness of this pony, I backed off, scanned the room for the nearest Big Daddy, and whistled him over. The lumbering metal giant slowly marched towards the two of us, towering high enough to almost blot out the sun. The look on the young mare's face was priceless.
"Meet the Big Daddy," I introduced. "And that drill of his is real." She looked between me, the Big Daddy, and the drill about four times, sweating profusely with each glance. Eventually, she let out a nervous chuckle, then bolted out of the room, a distinct rainbow streak following in pursuit. With a satisfied giggle, I motioned for the guard to return to his post, and left the room myself, leaving Fix-It to the repairs.
Once more, I saw the main lobby filled with ponies, talking or heading to their rooms. I also noticed the incredibly long line at the receptionist desk, and noticed the bits being dropped on the desk. A truly melodious sound, the clinking of coins. The sound of it being pulled from coin purses, dropped on the counter, the ding of the cash register, the people chanting 'go' over and over. Wait, people chanting 'go' over and over? I turned my head in the direction of the new sound, realizing it was coming from the bar. Two and two put together, I realized what was going on. Another drinking bout.
Trotting into the Void Vineyard, I saw the room packed with both off-duty Skritt and ponies, either mingling or standing by the bar, chanting over and over. A repeat of my tour with Lily and Midnight (I had to find them later), and glancing to the bar where Yigvar was once again engaged in a drinking competition. This time, it was against an orange coated Earth Pony mare with a blond pony-tail braid, a cow-pony hat resting atop her head, and a Cutie Mark of a triad of apples. Anypony in Ponyville knew her as Applejack, owner of Sweet Apple Acres and one of the Elements of Harmony. She and Yigvar held their heads back, drinking heavily as a trickle of brew ran down the corners of their mouths. Yigvar slammed his mug down with a resounding belch, raising his arms and hooting loudly. Applejack returned the gesture by slamming her mug top down and loudly cheering. I pushed my way through the cheering crowd to the bar, taking a seat on one of the rotating stools and tapping my hoof on the table. Yigvar dizzily glanced at me, his eyes narrowing at the sight of me.
"Oh, hello boss," Yigvar groaned. "Come to spoil the fun again? Or do you want a *hic* drink yourself?"
"I want to know why your drinking on duty," I said with a glare. "Again."
"I've got a legi-*hic*-gitimate reason for nipping the bottle!" Yigvar proclaimed. He pulled a sheet of paper from beneath the table, and slid it towards me. It appeared to be a sort of list. "Read the line marked Bar Competitions: Belcher's Bluff." I did as he complied, and scanned the paper for the marked line.
"'Belcher's Bluff: a Tyrian drinking game created by the Order of Om as a test of strength and resilience." I read aloud. "The goal of the challenge is to drink as much brew as possible, then belch into the opponent's face. The winner is nominated by whoever grosses out the loser first. Patrons may challenge anyone in the bar to a battle of Belcher's Bluff, and may even take on the champion," I took my eyes off the paper and smirked at the Nord. "The Bartender."
The loud human guffawed, pouring another frothy drink into his and Applejack's cup. "Never lost a game since working here! I may not be Tyrian, but if I was, I'd be the new grand champion of Om!"
"Ah, blow it out yer shaved ape plot, parder," Applejack slurred in her country accent. "Yer lucky Ahm such a nice mare, otherwise y'all get a hoof fulla buck to the face!"
"HA! You're so drunk, you can't even see straight!" Yigvar laughed. "In fact, neither can I! Ahaha!" The two drunken folks shared a laugh, whilst I rolled my eyes and continued about the bar. My eyes fell upon Midnight Rider, who was chatting up a pegasus mare with a turquois coat and orange mane, her face showing a bored expression, nearby the jukebox. I trotted over to the two, just as the mare had left with an evident scowl on her muzzle.
"Oh, hey Tabs." Midnight greeted. "How's runnin' the Hotel?"
"Tedious and busy, as expected," I admitted. "Were you just trying to pick up Sassaflash of all ponies?"
My black coated friend merely shrugged his shoulders and replied with a grin. "Seemed like a pretty mare, but she kept this holier-than-thou attitude and seemed to talk about how odd this place was."
"Yeah, Sassaflash is a strange one," I said. "Always lurking about town. Y'know she put up fliers a few months ago about a job offer for a minion?" We shared a laugh, when I happened to glance at the jukebox. "Hey, you like music, right?"
"Of all kinds." He proudly said, before his face shifted into disgust. "Except that stupid rap music. I swear, it's just poetry to music."
"Well, check this thing out," I gestured to the aforementioned jukebox with my hoof. "A fancy piece of technology from one of the other universes that plays recorded music at random. Like a radio you can play whenever you want! Here, put in a bit and I'll pick a song." Midnight shifted for a moment, unsure of what to make of the futuristic machine. Steadily, he retrieved a golden bit and put it in the slot. Once the coin hit the machine with a klink, I used my magic to select a button to play a song. I finally passed a certain song I had heard before and fell in love with. After a few seconds, the jukebox lit up with various colors as a catchy, wild song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZThquH5t0ow) began to play. The ponies in the bar looked around in surprise at the sudden music playing, especially with the absence of musicians, searching for a trace. The Skritt, on the other hand, started bobbing their heads to the song and dancing to the beat. I, myself, couldn't hold back and joined in on the dancing. Once the song hit a drum solo, Midnight started to bob to the music with a smirk on his face.
"I like it! It's catchy, repetitive, and obnoxious!" He said, his wings flaring to the beat.
"Just like you!" I joked. He shot my a mock snarl, but we continued dancing. Soon enough, the other ponies in the bar started dancing to the music, laughing and chatting while enjoying the new sounds. Even Yigvar stood up on his bar and started doing this ridiculous dance with his arms (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WNrx2jq184), and Applejack laughing herself off the barstool. The room was filled with utter ridiculousness, and we all enjoyed it. Even when a certain part of the song came on, in which the singer started undulating random sounds, and the Skritt began acting like they had muscle spasms, we all relished in merriment. I even noticed Pinkie Pie back to her bubbly self and having fun with the others. It was this kind of joy I liked seeing on faces, especially knowing I was responsible for it. It was a feeling I wished could remain forever.
"Attention, guests of Hotel Nebula!" Fix-It announced over the speakers. "The Universal Gates shall be opening in five minutes! We would like to remind you to not visibly or cruelly to the other visitors, and to have a pleasant day!" Alas, duty had to call. I sputtered, looking to Midnight to explain why I was leaving, but he gave me a confirming nod understanding completely. I waded my way through the crowds of ponies and Skritt, exiting the bar and making way to the Gate Room.
I joined Fix-It at the center of the doorway, watching as several robots and Skritt took their places by the large archways. Preparing my best business posture and adjusting my tie, I glanced up at the steel Mr. Handy with a smile. I gave a nod, and the robot raised one of its three pronged arms above its spherical body.
"Gates are opening in t-minus 9...8...7..." Fix-It counted. "6...5...4..." The Mr. Handy bots had their arms at control panels, anxious for new guest arrival. "3...2...1!"
WHOOOOOOOSH!!!
Each Gate lit up in a series of bright colors. Blue, purple, green, red, and yellow vortexes rippled in the fabric of space and time, opening portals into other universes entirely! I was so excited to see the creatures and species I had seen in my visions from that crystal first-hoof! The loud noises of the machines died down to a low hum, each Gate sporting a deep hole between universes swirling about in a myriad of shades. Shortly afterwards, electrical surges swam across the torrent within the Gates, as something began to emerge. Slowly, but surely, guests began to come from the Gates from across the worlds. A blue-skinned, bipedal pig creature from a marble and onyx colored Gate. A lizard-like creature in futuristic, turtle shell-like armor from a silver Gate with blue lining. A quartet of stout, multi-colored armored knights from a stone Gate. Here, a human skeleton with a head of flame adorned in a black leather outfit. There, a pale family of nine adorned in black and white outfits. Above, a green serpent akin to Neighponese design circling above. Below... A bucket with a gas mask and rubber human gloves scuttling about. One after another, the strange guests from across the dimensions congregated in the center of the room, as all eyes fell upon me. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked at my guests and smiled.
"Hello and welcome to the Hotel Nebula, the Hotel Between Worlds!" I greeted, a winning smile on my face. "I am Tab Keeper, Hotel Manager and Equestrian Unicorn, and I am pleased to meet you all." The crowd began to murmur between each other, talking indistinctly. "You are located in Equestria, home of ponies and the Regents of the Sun and Moon. Room keys can be picked up at the front desk, the Void Vineyard bar on the left of the lobby and the Gourmet restaurant on the right. We would also like to remind guests to have all weapons turned in at the front desk before checking in. Thank you and have a nice day." Just as I was about to turn about and leave the guests, a voice broke through the crowd.
"What the hell is this bullshit?" Shouted a cruel and raspy voice from the crowd. I faced the crowd, scanning for the upstart. "Seriously, I can't believe this nonsense." The upstart emerged from the crowd, and I was absolutely horrified at the sight. It was a human male with a deathly pale face, adorned in a white hoodie and grey sweatpants. Long black hair draped down to his shoulders, messy and unkempt. What stood out most was his face that would haunt my dreams for ages. Dark rings circled his unblinking eyes, and a red-scared mouth was kept in a horrific smile. Between his dirty pale fingers twirled a sharp kitchen knife, stained with what I prayed was dried tomato paste. Hiding my fear behind a mask of annoyance, I faced the frightening guest.
"I'm sorry, sir, but do you have a problem?" I asked. The pale man laughed, his mouth widening to sizes I thought were impossible.
"Hell yeah, I do, pony," He said, his smile a ruse for his anger. "First off, you're the manager. The last manager, Vendall, now he knew how to cater to the customers. You've been on the job for, what, three days? Vendall had ages of experience runnin' through his greasy veins. Not to mention, your a damn pony. A peaceful type." He spat on the floor, fiddling with his knife. "I hate those types. They don't bleed much." I shuddered at the aspect of a killer being amongst us. "Which brings me to point two, taking away our weapons? What kinda chicken-shit thing is that to deprive us of our only companions and protectors on the harsh road of life? Vendall let us keep our armaments."
"Protector?!" Fix-It shouted, his yellow eyes flaring red. The Mr. Handy flew up to the pale man, a furious behavior I had not seen on this side of the machine, nor even thought possible. "Sir, that knife of yours is stained with innocent blood! The reason we have the rules to keep is to prevent monsters like you from harming our guests! Vendall ignored those rules and guests suffered for it, something that Master Tab Keeper will not let happen! If you do not comply with the rules, either go back through your Gate or face the security force!" He leaned in on the pale man, his robotic eyes mere inches from the unblinking ones from the pale man. "And don't try hiding your weapons, the doors in and out have trackers for all weapons, and the Big Daddies will be on your arse faster than a 9mm bullet!" The two locked eyes for a while, staring deep into each other's unblinking eyes. Another figure stepped from the crowd, another human wearing a black hoodie, blue jeans, and a deep blue mask with black eye sockets. He whispered into Jeff's ear, the ever-smiling freak grunting in annoyance as the masked one left.
"Eh, whatever. You're lucky I'm on vacation." The pale man concluded before storming off. After that outburst, the other outer worldly guests milled out, leaving me, Fix-It, and a few others in the room. Steadily, I trotted up to the chief of maintenance with a concerned face.
"Hey, Fix-It," I said. "Thank you for standing up for me against... whoever that pale man was."
"His name is Jeff the Killer." Fix-It said, turning around. "A sadistic and insane murderous Creep from one of the Earth Universes. He delights in killing people before they sleep, carving smiles onto his victims faces. He even carved those scars on his face himself and cut out his eyelids, so I'm told." I was chilled by the description of such a dangerous character lurking about. "He's a frequent guest at the Hotel... And is responsible for the reason thirteen rooms on the fifth floor are off limits."
"Why is that?" I asked, dreading the answer.
"They never could clean up the mess he left behind." Said a new voice. I turned about and saw none other than Guardian in his human form, a solemn look on his face. "Not to mention the ghosts still linger...."
"He's the very reason we have the rule that weapons are taken from guests." I realized, my ears flattening against my head. "Sweet Celestia, we let him stay here?!"
"Unfortunately, you must if he follows the rules." Guardian said, pointing a gloved finger at me. "He's still a paying guest and you must treat him as such." He let a sly smirk appear on his face. "But that doesn't mean you can't raise his room fee."
"I can do that?" I asked.
"You're Hotel Manager, you can do whatever fits within the boundaries." Guardian said. "Which brings me to why I'm here. Well done on your first day, Mr. Keeper." He kneeled onto one knee, looking at me with a smile. "Despite a few hiccups, things are looking very well for you here at Hotel Nebula. The staff like you, the guests are enjoying themselves, and most of all, you know when to put your foot... err... Hoof down."
I blushed from his praise, and returned with a smile. "Thank you, sir. I try my best to make sure this ship runs on smooth seas."
"Ha!" Guardian laughed. "Sounds like Commodore Legs is rubbing off on you. Oh, and by the way," He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small stone with a purple spiral carving at the center. "I forgot to give you this when you started. This little stone will send you to my office if you press on the spiral. Use it whenever you need help or want to talk to me." He placed it in my hoof, a stern look on his face. "Just... Don't use it at 4:30 PM on Fridays. That's me time."
"Will do, sir." I said, pocketing the stone. Just as Guardian was about to leave, I called him back, one last question on my mind. "Wait, could you tell me what exactly happened to the last Hotel Manager? Someone named Vendall?"
"The Turian?" Guardian asked, a grim frown appearing on his face. "Jeff happened. Enough said." With those final words, Guardian vanished in a flash of light, leaving me and Fix-It in the Gate room alone. Swallowing my fear of getting carved up by that smiling freak, I made my way back to the Lobby and continued my basic job. Hopefully, the next few guests would be reasonable, and I could end my day as normally as possible.
"Welcome to the Hotel Nebula," I said, eyes closed with a smile. "How can I... " Then I opened my eyes. "Help... You..." My heart skipped a beat... twice, at the guest before me. He was tall and serpent-like, a mishmash of numerous animals compiled into one body. A grey pony head with two off-sized yellow eyes with red irises, a single protruding fang sticking from his mouth. Two different horns, one a deer the other a goat, sat above two fluffy white eyebrows. On his long, brown body, he sported one blue bird wing and a purple bat wing. His right arm a lion's paw, his left an eagle talon. A red dragon tail slithered about behind his lizard and goat leg. I knew him... All of Equestria knew him... And worst of all, he carried two bags of luggage with him.
"Absolutely," The Spirit of Chaos said with a chipper smile. "Room for one for two weeks, just for me, Discord." And then, everything went black.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
                  Chapter 5: Noble Pains                   
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 5: Noble Pains
My Room....
Amidst blissful sleep after our first day came to a close, I realized I had a great deal to reflect on. I was now in charge of one of the most phenomenal creations in existence, and had to take care of a plethora of unusual and fascinating guests from all over. I had to watch a whole pack of rodent-like Skritt, a Nordic human with an alcoholic obsession, a prone-to-violence Quaggan cook, a talking Prench Frog who acts like a ship captain, a series of futuristic robotic helpers, and now two of my oldest friends. I had to watch possibly dangerous guests like Discord and Jeff the Killer, and maybe innocent ones, hopefully, like the Triple-Header. Even though I've got friends keeping me company throughout the entire journey, but there was just something mysterious about this place. Guardian may have told me it was a Hotel, but I'm certain there are secrets about this building I don't know about. But for now, I guess I'll be content with what I know. However, I will immediately investigate why I feel a strange breathing on my face.
"6,785." I heard a raspy voice say, an eerily cheerful tone on its tongue. At first, I assumed it was a mere dream, but for some reason, it felt more... awake. "6,786... 6,787... 6,789...." My eyes shot open, and was greeted to something that changed my opinions of Jeff the Killer being the most frightening thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It looked like the Pale Pony of Death, a human adorned in a black cloak, the only visible features were its... hideous face. Devoid of all color, it had a wrinkly face, soulless sunken in eyes that peered into my soul, and exposed crooked teeth forming a disturbing smile. The odd thing that stood out with this being before me was that it looked like it was... drawn in pencil. I screamed my head off, jumping out of my bed, tangling up in the blankets, and landing on the floor with a violent flood. The mysterious intruder, to my confusion, pulled out a notepad and pencil and jotted something down. "6,789."
"What?" Was all I could ask, my heart rate rising with every second I saw this creature. It move towards me, looking with unblinking eyes into my own.
"6,789." It repeated. "You took 6,789 breaths in your sleep tonight, only twenty-seven more than you did the night before." This guy creeped me out. It counted how many times I took a breath while I slept? What kind of freak is he?!
"How did you get into my room?" I asked. "I have the only key."
"No you don't." It said, reaching into its cloak, pulling out a spooky looking key with a skull design. "I own the Hotel's skeleton key. It's my job to watch things at night." It was that last line that put things together. I remember Guardian mentioning the Hotel having additional security at night, and how he was glad I hadn't encountered him. Was this creep the...?
"You're the night guard?" The pale person backed away from me, still keeping his toothy smile, and gave a little bow.
"Yes, I am." It answered. "I am known as the Unwanted House Guest, or by others as Never Alone. I watch the rooms at night and make sure guests remain comfy in their suites. I also like keeping people company, even if they don't want me there." And thus, I found a new thing to fear about this Hotel, and the Big Daddies kept order during the day. Slowly pulling myself to my hooves, I began neatening my bed, still not taking my eyes off Never Alone.
"So, what do you do during the day?" I ask. Figured I'd know what a night guard like him, horrific as he may be, did off duty.
"Catalogue." Never Alone answered. I quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Y'know, I catalogue the stuff I see at night. Put it in reports about what goes on. Fix-It and Commodore Legs know all about it." He started twiddling his pale and bony fingers. "I also kinda collect stuff guests leave behind."
"Like coins or missing items?"
"More like pieces of hair." I shuddered at how unnatural Never Alone acted. I've known about stalkers, hey Water Lily even confided in me that she once had a stallion follow her around creepily, but this guy was the ultimate stalker. Glancing at my alarm clock, I saw the time was 4:49 AM, the Hotel would open day services in about two hours. Normally, I'd go back to sleep, but recent disturbances made me dread nightmares once more. I was about to tell Never Alone to get out to change into my suit, but when I turned back, he was gone. Just like that. I bet he realized the time too, and went to go back to... wherever he lives in the Hotel. Things just keep getting weirder around this place....
Hotel Nebula Staff Meeting Room, 49th Floor
I entered the white board room, the long black table surrounded by sole job employees, like Moogaroo and Yigvar Beerbelly, and group representatives, Twitchy and Fix-It. I even saw Commodore Legs and my Equestrian friends, Midnight and Lily. Everyone chatted amongst themselves or looked bored out of their mind. Taking my seat in the cushioned black chair, I tapped my hoof on the table, silencing the room and drawing everyone's attention. Once all eyes were on me, I cleared my throat and began the morning meeting.
"Good morning everyone," I greeted. "I trust everyone slept well." The room was a mix of yeses and some nods.
"What about you, Tabs?" Midnight asked. "'Cuz your eyes are bloodshot." Sighing, I leaned back on my chair.
"I was abruptly awoken in the middle of the night by our 'oh-so dedicated' night guard." I explained. Several of the older staff visibly reacted to my referencing of Never Alone, shuddering or moaning in irritation.
"You met the Unwanted House Guest?" Yigvar asked. "Surprised you saw him this early. I didn't meet him until well after a month of service. Caught me in the Void Vineyard, sampling some drinks imported from Steelport. Tried to smash the bottle of beer on that specter's head, but it passed right through him!"
"So he's a ghost?" I asked.
"No, he's a Creep." Fix-It explained. "He hails from the same world as Jeff the Killer, and possesses several supernatural powers like many of his ilk." I knew there was a connection between those two lunatics. "They're part of a group known as the Creep Collective, several paranormal monsters and killers that seek to stain everything red with blood."
"Quaggan hears rumors that the Creep Collective serve the Eldritch ones," Moogaroo said, twiddling his flipper-like fingers. "Seeing as the Faceless One leads them."
"Faceless One?" Midnight asked, visibly shaken.
"The Slenderman, as he is commonly known." Fix-It said. "Not much is known about the Eldritch creature, but it apparently exists in almost every known universe in some form or other, but it always remains the same: a tall, pale, faceless entity, wearing a black suit." I realized how bad it was to drink coffee and hear startling news at the same time, and Twitchy learned what it was like to be coated in hot coffee. Wiping the coffee from my mouth and apologizing to the now soaked Skritt, I realized that this Slenderman was like Equestria's own legend of the Everfree Forest and Whitetail Woods, the Slendermane. How connected were other universes if stuff like that can exist in multiple worlds? Shaking my head, I realized there was still a meeting going on.
"We're getting off track," I said. "We need to talk about our plans for the week. Commodore, has our position changed at all overnight?"
"Oui, several miles, in fact." The Frog said. "According to current statistics, we are currently located over ze Equestrian capitol."
"Canterlot?" Lily asked. "We're above Canterlot?"
"Zat iz correct, Miss Lily," Commodore Legs clarified. "Luckily for us, Princess Twilight Sparkle sent a message to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, so zere should be no widespread panic like when we docked above Ponyville." Internally, I wondered if their Highnesses would appear at the Hotel. Discord did, so why shouldn't I expect anything?
"Okay, since we're above Canterlot, you among the staff should know exactly what kinds of ponies live there." I said. "The Upper Crust and Nobility, as well as Equestrian royalty." Yigvar groaned loudly, thumping his head on the table.
"Oh great! Snobbish, rich, holier-than-thou nobles that have more coins in their purses than brainpower!" Yigvar complained. "It's a city of Imperials!"
"I don't know much about these Imperials," I said. "But judging from that reaction, you've dealt with the nobility before, and so have I. Just try and keep them happy, ignore their insults or negative comments, and just focus on how much they put in the register."
"I refuse to allow them into the Vineyard!" Yigvar exclaimed. "They order pansy wine and don't even drink it! Just swirl it in their flasks and chat about how fancy their hats are!"
"Just like those mercs at Mann Co." Moogaroo joked, earning a few snickers from those who understood it (excluding me and my Equestrian friends).
"I don't care how much you hate nobles," I grunted, slamming a hoof on the ground. "They are paying customers and unless they start fights, you cannot refuse service to them." I turned towards Moogaroo. "That includes you, too. Socialites like them practically eat tiny, unnecessary food portions, and desire style. Use whatever pizazz you can to keep them fed and happy."
"Quaggan will do Quaggan's best," Moogaroo said. "But Quaggan won't like it. Rich customers are always so picky, booooOOOOoooo."
"Everyone else, just do what you can, and keep things under control." Everyone gave confirming nods or sounds of agreement, slowly rising out of their seats. "Oh, and one more thing before you all go to work: Keep an eye on Jeff the Killer. He may have said he'd behave, I don't trust him, and I don't want to have the Hotel become a crime scene. Meeting adjourned." With a final tapping of my hoof, everyone rose from their seats and filed out of the room. The last one to leave was Water Lily, looking back at me like she wanted to tell me something, but hesitated and continued down the hallway. Wonder what she wanted?
"She totally wants the 'd'." I heard a familiar voice say. "That's what ponies go for, right?" Yelping slightly, I whirled about, and much to my dismay, Jeff the Killer sat in one of the chairs, his white hood pulled over his head, only his carved smile showing. Glaring at the Creep, I moved towards him and slammed my hoof down.
"How long have you been in here, Jeff?" I demanded. "And why are you even in here?! This is an employee room only!"
"Wrong, Tabsy." Jeff said, waggling his forefinger at me. "This room is a public meeting room usable for guests and employees, so suck on that. And I've been here since that little note you said about me." He put a pale hand to his white sweater, sniffling a mock sniff. "I'm hurt, Tabsy, I really am. But seriously, I'm actually here on a legit reason."
"Explain, why don't you?" I said, annoyed by the Creep's antics.
"My roomie, Eyeless Jack, and I keep on hearing stuff going on in the room above us." Jeff explained. "So I went upstairs to Room 2082 on the 42nd floor to tell them to shut up, when this little Japanese punk with short black hair glares at me through the door and slams it in my face! I came up here to get you to tell them to cool their shit, or I'm going to pay them another visit, rules be damned." Narrowing my eyes, I thought about the scenario. Guests on the 42nd floor, Room 2082.... I didn't recall giving them a key. Normally, I'd just brush it off, mostly since Jeff asked me. However, that last notion Jeff added caused me to change my mind.
With a groan, I turned and faced Jeff, responding with reluctance. "Alright, I'll go speak to the ones in Room 2082. Now get out!" I ended by gesturing my hoof towards the doorway. Jeff merely snickered, and steadily strutted out of the room, hands stuffed in his pockets. In suit, I also left the room, taking to the elevator and riding it down. Thankfully, the trip was short (mostly due to yet another Big Daddy riding with me. Is this going to be a thing?), as I made my way to the 42nd floor.
The interesting about the floors between the 40th and 45th of Hotel Nebula is that they're actually apartments. Residents can choose to purchase rooms to live in on those floors, but apparently rent is very steep the longer people stay there. So most of the rooms between those floors are often vacant, and only those who have practically a bottomless wallet stay there. Finally coming across Room 2082, I rapped my hoof on the door and cleared my throat.
"Excuse me," I called out. "This is the Hotel Manager, and I'm here regarding a complaint." For a little while, there was no response, just the silence of the hall and the hum of a Mister Handy that happened to be further down the hall. Eventually, I heard the door unlock, seeing it open ajar. Slightly peering through the door was a young boy, no older than ten, I presume, with messy short hair and narrow eyes seen in Neighponese traits (or Japanese, as Jeff referred). He were a white t-shirt and had baggy jeans, and his face bore a neutral expression.
"Hi." The boy said.
"Hello, I'm Tab Keeper, the Hotel Manager." I said. "Are your parents here, I would like to talk to the people who rent this room?"
"It's just me and my roommate." The boy stated. Odd that a child could rent a room, but then again, odd things happen at this Hotel almost daily.
"Well then... What's your name?" I asked, hoping to find common ground.
"Akira." The boy answered.
"And is your roommate in also? I would like to talk to him also about this." Akira remained silent for a moment, staring at me with narrow eyes.
"Tetsuo doesn't talk to people." Akira said. Just as I was about to continue speaking, he slammed the door in my face! Jaw dropped, I began to snarl as I continued to knock on the door. "Go away."
"I need to talk to you!" I said, almost shouting. "Open this door!" Down the hall, one of the guests stuck his head out of the doorway.
"Will you shut up?!" He shouted. "I'll get the Manager if you don't!"
"I am the Manager!" I said, banging on the door. After a few long minutes of smashing my hoof on the wooden door, the locks on the other side clicked again, young Akira looking at me with a slightly annoyed face.
"You're being very rude." Akira said. "Please calm down or there will be problems."
"Problems?!" I shouted. "Of course there will be problems, because if you don't start cooperating with me, I'm going to have you and your roommate evicted, so help me Celestia!" I was quickly pushed out of the way by a pair of metallic arms amidst my rant, moving about three doors down. Rotating my head and calming down, I saw Fix-It floating before me, two of his appendages held against my side.
"My apologies, Master Tab Keeper," Fix-It said. "But you were about to make a grave mistake for the entire Hotel and Equestria."
"How could yelling at that kid cause problems?" I said, pointing at the door, Akira's head poking out of his room.
"The residents of Room 2082, Akira and Tetsuo," Fix-It explained. "Are two of the most powerful psychics and telepathic users in existence, known as Espers. Both of those tenants have the power to wipe countries off the face of existence should their power go untapped, and in the past, they have. They stay in that room because it's the only room that dampens psychic abilities, and should one of them leave, it would spell massive problems, sir." Well... This was unexpected. More incredibly dangerous guests, but at least these two stay in their room. Glancing back at Akira, the young boy giving me a stern look, I realized I still had the original conundrum to deal with.
"If they're as powerful as you say they are," I said. "Then how am I going to quell the complaint before Jeff decides to get involved."
"As funny as it would be to see Jeff try and fight the Espers," Fix-It joked. "He wouldn't attempt it if he knew that they were Espers. I'd recommend telling him and his roommate, Eyeless Jack."
"Eyeless Jack..." I mused. "He's the one with a black hoodie and blue mask with black eyeholes, right?"
"Yes... The Organ Cannibal." Fix-It muttered. "Don't worry, he's the one who keeps Jeff on a tight leash. Well, off on my rounds. Ta!" Concluding our business, Fix-It floated off, and Akira once again slammed his door. I was left alone in the hallway, so many things bubbling up in my mind with no way to express them. After a good five minutes of silence, I figured it out.
"WHAT?!"
One Conversation/Elevator Ride Later...
On my way down to the Lobby to being the day's work, I had luckily (or unfortunately, if you're so inclined) run into the two Creeps on the elevator, and explained the situation to them. Surprisingly, they were both pretty reasonable, especially since I had to just mention the word Esper to them. Who knew that boy and whoever lived with him held such position that even a homicidal maniac like Jeff wouldn't cross them? Anyway, stepping off the elevator, I saw that the Hotel was once again taking guests. Mixed among the ponies I had greeted before and the guests from other universes, I recognized the posh and fancy attire of the Canterlot nobility and Upper Class. Back when I worked in town hall as a simple filer, I had to deal with a few commissions and papers from the Canterlot snoots for funding (and one exceptional case when that pompous spoiled brat, Prince Blueblood, attempted to have a portion of Ponyville demolished for a private pool. Practically painted a bold NO over that entire paper), so I've had few experiences with the richest of the rich. Taking my place at the receptionist desk, once again flanked by a pair of Mister Handy's, I closed my eyes and put on the best smile I could when greeting guests. Oh, and someone left me some coffee. How kind!
"Hello and welcome to the Hotel Nebula, the Hotel that flies across the worlds!" I greeted, eyes closed. "Is there anything I could do to help you?" I finished, taking a sip of my coffee.
"I do hope there is, my little pony." Said a motherly, almost angelic voice. Only one pony I knew had a voice like that. Opening my eyes, I was greeted by the beautiful sight of...
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
And there goes my coffee, why must I take such big sips? Standing right in front of me, in all her regal glory, was none other than Princess Celestia! Her marble white coat shone like the sun she rose every day, her tri-colored mane flowed magnificently in the non-existent breeze. Her eyes looked down upon me with the love and care only a mother could provide. Like with encountering Discord, I was speechless.
"Y-y-y-Your Highness!" I exclaimed, reflexively bowing me head. Unfortunately, I forgot I was standing in front of a desk, and spent the next few seconds favoring my possibly broken horn. "This is truly an honor!"
Princess Celestia (THE PRINCESS IS IN MY HOTEL! AAAAAAH!) chuckled lightly. "No need for such formalities, Mr. Manager. It's an honor just for one of my little ponies to have such a tremendous role in multi-universal relations." She looked about the Hotel, a gentle smile on her face. "The Hotel has not changed since the last time I was here."
"You've been at the Hotel Nebula before, Your Highness?" I asked before mentally slapping myself. Discord had mentioned that already, idiot!
"Of course. I happen to be really close friends with the true master of the Hotel." She said. "Granted, it's been well over 1500 years since the Hotel has last appeared, and Guardian has yet to extend an invitation into his order for Equestria. Speaking of," Celestia turned back to me, smiling lightly. "Is the Guardian of Worlds around? My sister and I would wish to speak with him."
"Unfortunately, no," I admitted. "But if you desire, I could go and speak with him." Celestia nodded, granting my request. Bowing once more, I removed the teleportation stone from my pocket, activating it and sending me across the universes.
Guardian's Office....
Once again, I was greeted to the sight of Guardian's massive office, the black room once again filled with various trophies and other effects. However, unlike last time, Guardian wasn't hiding in his faux portrait, but instead... playing golf with a coffee mug. The black-suited man looked up at me, smiling warmly.
"Ah, hello Tabs." Guardian greeted, lining up a shot. "Nice of you to drop by." Carefully, he putted the golf ball across the room, landing it straight into the mug. "How can I help you?"
"Well, sir," I explained, watching as Guardian picked up the mug and placed it further away. "Princess Celestia has arrived at the Hotel and requested to speak with you." Guardian made his shot, the ball sinking into the mug.
"Celestia wants to talk to me?" Guardian asked, placing the mug on the ground, near his desk. "Did she say why?" Another shot, this time the ball rebounded off a display case and into the cup in one hit.
"Well, she didn't exactly say," I admitted as Guardian set the cup next to me. "But she mentioned something about an invitation to your order. You never did tell me who you represent."
"Not represent, my dear unicorn," Guardian quipped, putting the ball. "Lead." The ball ricocheted off two display cases, the legs of the desk, until slowly rolling into the cup. Was he trying to impress me? "I lead a multi-dimensional organization known as the Inter-Dimensional Agency, which desires universal stability. Those star patterns you see on the roof are actually universes, and the ones marked by the letters IDA are protected by my organization." He picked up the cup and put it on his desk. "Celestia has been trying to allow Equestria to fall under protection, but since Equis is a peaceful territory, I cannot put bases here unless there was a mass threat." With a loud crack, the golf-club struck the ball, sending it flying across the room, crashing into various objects violently. I had to duck and cover my head to avoid getting my head knocked off by the rampant golf ball. Casually, Guardian picked up the mug from off the desk, held it sideways, and the ball finally came to rest within the mug. "And as much as I would love to talk with old friends, a recent issue has come up that could cause trouble across numerous universes if not contained, so tell Celestia I'm sorry, but I can't speak with her. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish this paperwork."
Setting the golf club, mug, and ball aside, Guardian sat at his desk and began sorting through papers, writing important stuff down with a writing quill. Knowing I had overstayed my welcome, I turned to leave, pulling the stone out of my pocket. Taking one last look at Guardian, seeing the frustrated look on his face, I wondered exactly what kind of problems does he have to deal with as the leader of an entire multi-universal group. Sighing, I placed a hoof on the stone and vanished into a bright light.
Back at Hotel Nebula...*(Doodlie doot... Doodlie doot... doodlie doot...)*
I'm never going to get used to the temporary blindness that comes from using that stone. Once my vision cleared, I saw I was in the Gourmet, the fancy restaurant abuzz with customers. Looking about, I saw various ponies and other creatures eating and enjoying their meals at their tables, all having a grand expression of joy on their faces (or as close as possible with those pompous nobles). I was quite curious as to why the stone brought me here. Then I heard a series of crashes and clangs coming from the kitchen, and realized that Moogaroo might lose his mind. Narrowly dodging the carts and customers, I reached the kitchen and pushed open the door, just as a plate shattered against the wall. Inside was Moogaroo, his chef's hat stained with various foodstuff, swinging a skillet in front of a griffon with a curly mustache.
"Quaggan cares not if you are a famous chef!" Moogaroo shouted, swinging the skillet. "You do not come in here and tell Quaggan how to run Quaggan's kitchen, feathered one!"
"But I have ze expertise of several years of Equestrian and Griffon cuisine!," Said the griffon in an over-the-top Prench accent. "You must allow Gustav LeGrande to use zis kitchen!"
"Touch so much as a pan handle," Moogaroo snarled, suddenly bearing rows of almost shark-like teeth. "Then Quaggan shall had stuffed CHICKEN to the menu!"
"OH! How dare you!" Gustav responded. "Why I ought to-"
"That's ENOUGH!" I shouted, standing between the two quarreling chefs. The two looked ready to kill each other, and if I didn't act fast, nobody would get their food. With a snort, I glared at the Quaggan and the Griffon intensely. "Now look, I know you are both accomplished chefs and cooks, but this behavior is hardly that above children." Wheeling about, I faced the Prench Griffon with steely eyes. "Gustav LeGrande, I remember you from the baker's competition in Canterlot. I've tasted your food before, and while I must admit it is delicious, you cannot barge into someone else's kitchen and demand to work here without the proper consent of the Head Chef." Gustav reeled backwards, eyes wide and claw pressed against his white feathered chest.
"You tell him, sir!" Moogaroo said from behind me.
"Oh, you aren't innocent in this either, Moogaroo," I snarled, turning about and staring down at the cook. "I understand you prefer to work alone in your own kitchen, but one of the most basic principles of life is learning to share! You can't simply just hoard your kitchenware and tools like a dragon over his gold!" Moogaroo shrank back, either from my yelling or the dragon comment, I'm not sure, but he was clearly frightened. Easing my breath, I closed my eyes and faced away from the two. "Now, let's all take a deep breath, start all over, and reach a compromise. Fair?" The two chefs stood quickly for a while, staring at each other with neutral expressions. Eventually, Gustav stepped forwards with his right arm extended.
"Monsieur, I apologize for my abrupt and rude behavior." Gustav said, his face and tone showing true remorse. "Although I am a griffon, it iz improper of a gentlegriffon to behave in such a fashion, pride and all zat." Moogaroo looked at Gustav's offer in friendship carefully, his small black eyes showing no sign of reaction. Quickly afterwards, he tossed his skillet away and put his tiny flipper hand in the griffon's claw.
"CoooOOOooo, Quaggan is so embarrassed." Moogaroo sadly spoke, shaking Gustav's claw. "Quaggan forgot Mother Mellaggan's teachings. Quaggan who share their hut with others, will learn knowledge from beyond Quaggan's own." The two chefs smirked at each other, moving over to a counter and talking as Moogaroo prepared meals. "This is a great chance for Quaggan to learn Equestrian food. Teach Quaggan what you know." Happy that the conflict ended itself, I walked out of the kitchen with a smile on my face.
"You did very well in there, Mr. Keeper." Said the elegant voice of Princess Celestia. Greeting me upon my exit was the Solar Princess, this time accompanied by Princess Twilight Sparkle, the two royal alicorns smiling warmly at me. I bowed my head (thankful there wasn't a desk in the way this time), and nodded to the Princesses. "You express Harmony so well unto others, you might even pass for an Element of Harmony yourself."
I chuckled, blushing. "Oh, Your Highness, it was truly nothing. There was a problem and I just solved it like anypony should."
"Don't think so humble of yourself, Tab Keeper," Princess Twilight said. "As a pony, you express friendship and keep balance among others. Aside from being manager, you serve a great purpose here."
"I can see why Guardian had chosen you." Princess Celestia said. My smile waned a little bit, remembering my conversation with Guardian in regards to Equestria's standing in his organization.
"Ah, yes, about Guardian...." I said.
"He said he couldn't speak with me, didn't he?" Celestia guessed, her face neutral.
"I'm sorry, Your Highness," I apologized. "But he said something about a catastrophe that took up his time." The Solar Princess merely sighed as Princess Twilight left to socialize.
"Of course. I expected this." Celestia solemnly said. "He's always busy watching the worlds. That's why they call him Guardian, as he protects over all he sees. Unfortunately, his gaze ignores Equestria. If only he were here when Tirek had returned...."
"He said he only deals in universal problems," I explained. "Unless something evil that lurks beyond the bounds of our world causes chaos, he won't be involved. I say we take this as a good sign, as Equestria is once again at peace." Celestia seemed content at my words, as a smile formed on her muzzle. "Just don't provoke one of my guests just to get him to visit." She chuckled at my joke, turning to leave the Gourmet with wings fully spread. I started to think about what she and Princess Twilight had said, about how I represent friendship and can bring various peoples together. Is it possible that the Insight Stone incident wasn't that? That Guardian intentionally sent it to somepony who could carry harmony to this Hotel? Anything's possible. All that matters right now is that I've got a job to do, and everything will go exactly as intended, filed in a neat order of events. And right now, everything is fine.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
               Chapter 6: Don't Touch That!                
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 6: Don't Touch That!
Elevator En-Route to Control Room
"He did what?" I asked, speaking to my dear friend, Midnight Rider. I had recently hired Midnight initially as a night guard for the Hotel, but after encountering that Creep, Never Alone, I decided to find something else for him. After fruitless attempts everywhere else, I eventually got him a job as assistant barkeep at the Void Vineyard. Yigvar was more than happy to have him around, especially since he livened the place up. As an added bonus, he'd report to me if that old Nord was sampling the booze again. At the moment, he was telling me a story of how Yigvar beat a minotaur in hoof- I mean arm wrestling, and had a less than pleasant rebuttal.
"Like I said, this Bronze Fist minotaur picked up the table and smashed him over the head with it!" Midnight recounted as he stood beside me. "But get this, he shook it off like it was nothing!"
"Amazing!" I exclaimed.
"The minotaur was so stunned," Midnight said, his wings lifting him up into the air in excitement. "He barely had any time to react before Yigvar pulled out this HUGE hammer, with a head that looked like a beer barrel, and WHAM!" He kicked into the air. "Knocked the big lug out!"
"Must've been a big hammer, then." I mused, placing a hoof to my chin. One of the rules of Hotel Nebula was that weapons are forbidden on the premises, but I guess it makes sense that the Hotel staff should arm themselves. Maybe I should buy something next time we stop.... Midnight touched down on the floor again, looking at me with his off-colored eyes with curiosity.
"So, why are we going to Control again?" Midnight asked.
"Commodore Legs told me he wanted to make a jump across universes soon," I explained. "And he wanted me to be familiar with our course."
"Okay, but why am I here?" He responded. "I don't exactly have the kind of attention span to learn charts or boring stuff like that."
"Well, I figured it would be a treat if my best friend would enjoy watching time and space flow around us as we make our first ever warp." I said, wrapping a foreleg around my friend's neck.
"Sweet." Midnight said, chuckling. The elevator slid open, and we entered the large room, where the anthropomorphic frog leapt from computer console to console, muttering to himself in... what was that language again? French, he called it? I whistled, and Commodore Legs turned about face, smiling widely and adjusting his oversized hat.
"Ah, bonjour, mes bons messieurs!" Legs greeted, giving a salute. "Just a few more preparations, and we will be ready to set sail across ze cosmic seas!" Hopping to a console, he rapidly tapped buttons with his webbed fingers and glanced at a large screen. An image appeared on the screen, revealing a beautiful array of stars and clusters neatly arranged on a map grid. Resting on a swirling bright symbol was a flashing yellow light shaped like the Hotel. Midnight trotted up to me, a bright look in his eyes.
"Cool, can you play Sky Assault on that thing?" Midnight joked as I face-hoofed. Legs gave a cough (although frankly, it sounded a bit like a croak), and pointed at the flashing icon.
"We are currently located here," Legs pointed out. "In ze Equus Universe on ze fringes of ze Hub Cluster," He gestured to a series of universes that appeared to be closely clustered together. "Zere are a total of three heavily populated Universal Arrays nearby, two of which are mostly protected by ze IDA. Ze third one, ze Sensō Collective, is mers inexplorées, uncharted waters." He pointed a webbed finger at an image of a cluster of stars that bore semblance to a blade. "For now, we shall turn starboard and head here," Tracing a line on the computer, he drew a red dotted line from the Hotel to a cluster that looked like a massive starburst. "The Starry Array, and dock in a universe on the borders of the territory."
"And that universe would be?" I asked. Commodore Legs turned away from the computer, putting a (I kid you not) corncob pipe in his mouth.
"Ze Force Universe, where the powers of good and evil belong to two powerful orders known as Jedi and Sith." Commdore Legs explained, bringing up several images of futuristic cities and planets. "We will start with the Planet Tython, seeing as one of ze IDA's elite agents sits on ze new Jedi Council, zen after a week, we will jump once again to a later universe, compris?" I nodded, moving over to an intercom wired to every speaker in the Hotel. Clearing my throat, I turned it on and began a quick announcement to everypony and everyone in the building.
"Attention guests and staff of Hotel Nebula," I announced. "This is the Manager, Tab Keeper, and we are about to depart from Equestria. Anyone who wishes to leave the Hotel should do so immediately. All guests and staff must find a stationary object to grasp onto, or remain in their rooms until the jump is complete. We will jumping in about," I paused, looking at the frog pilot. Commodore simply raised a webbed hand and gestured to his fingers. "Five minutes. Thank you and have a pleasant stay."
"Good work, sir," Commodore Legs complimented. "Zere are a few chairs with seatbelts to ze side you and your friend can use before we depart." Thanking the pilot, I made my way to the velvet cushioned chairs. Just before I could sit down, I realized that there was a slight problem on my mind: where did Midnight go? Looking about the room, I couldn't see the black coated pegasus anywhere in the bright room. I had assumed during my speech, Midnight had probably left to batten down in his room, but he isn't that kind of pony. Even Commodore Legs was looking for me, a bead of sweat running down his face (I didn't even know frogs could sweat). Eventually, we found him in the worst place possible: In front of a big, unmarked, red button on a pedestal, with eyes agleam and hoof raised. The reaction was instinctual, to say the least.
"DON'T TOUCH ZAT BUTTON!" Commodore Legs shouted, but it was too late. Due to the surprise, Midnight accidentally pressed the button, and the entire room lit up in bright lights. I shot my idiot friend a dirty look, while all he could do was sheepishly grin.
"You idiot."
The entire building began to shake, engines roared to life, magical energies rippled throughout the power sources, and the Hotel was beginning it's take-off. Midnight, Commodore Legs, and I were trying to keep stable footing as the entire Control Room vibrated with the ferocity of an earthquake. Outside the massive window, I could see the clouds zooming past us as we exited the stratosphere. Right before we broke the atmosphere, a massive tear ripped open in the skies, creating a Rift between time and space. And we entered it. I felt as my body was being turned into jelly as the myriad of colors zoomed past us in a cyclone of a mad artist. The building swerved, pivoted, twirled, flipped, and barreled through the vortex as I could barely hold my lunch in. At the center of the swirl of madness that was the Rift lay a large black circle, leading to whatever universe we were on a clash collision course with. Finally, we reached the black hole, causing it to fade away into a new backdrop. The Hotel began to steady itself, granting me a new view. From outside the window, I saw a large, grassy landscape as far as the eye could see, with a few tall trees dotting the grounds. Off in the distance, I could see a massive wall, towering high above the ground.
"You stupid, ignorant, careless, feather-brained, cloven-hoofed, fils de chèvre sans mère!!!" Commodore Legs shouted. "You pushed ze ignition button! I haven't even set a course yet!" Glancing to my side, I saw Legs strangling Midnight nearby. While I don't blame him in possibly stranding us in an unknown universe off-course, we needed to keep a level head and calm attitude in order to set things right. Using my magic, I pried Legs' hands off Midnight's neck and pulled him over to me.
"Calm yourself, Commodore!" I shouted. "Getting angry and throttling my friend for being careless won't solve anything at the moment." I released the frog, who looked at me with apologetic eyes. "Now, would you kindly check where we are while I calm the guests?" He gave me a salute, hopping to the command console and began plotting our location. Right before moving to the intercom, without even looking I yanked Midnight's tail with my magic and brought him face-to-face with me. And I was not happy.
"How was I supposed to know what that button did?!" Midnight exclaimed. "It's big and red, and unlabeled! How am I not supposed to press it!" Frowning, I bonked my friend on the side of his head with my hoof. "Alright, I'm sorry. Won't happen again."
"It better not." I bluntly stated. "Now, I want you to go check on the staff and clean up any messes you may have caused." Once my magical field dispersed on Midnight's tail, he flew out of the room, muttering to himself possibly stuff about a stick up my butt, but I really didn't care at the time.
"Oh, mon dieu." Commodore Legs sighed. Trotting over to the computer, I joined the frog pilot, who looked more nervous and frightened than I have ever seen anyone or anypony before. "We're in ze Sensō Collective."
"That unexplored array?" I asked, looking at the machines.
"Oui, charts say we are on ze fringes of the Collective," Legs explained. "On an earth-like planet. According to planetary scans, there's a high abundance of plant and animal life, and some human life several miles away, possibly beyond zat wall, but zere is... something else."
"Something else?" That worried me. Unknown factors always worry me.
"Yes, zere appears to be another type of life here zat ze scanners can't seem to figure out." He said. "I'll do my best to comprehend zis new information, then call you once we dock at ze harbor." Politely nodding and thanking Legs, I once again returned to the intercom and addressed the Hotel.
"Dear guests and employees of Hotel Nebula," I spoke. "We would like to apologize for the rough and sudden trip, but the mistakes have been corrected. For the moment, we request that all guests remain within the Hotel and all staff report on the surroundings to the Hotel Manager. Thank you and have a pleasant day."
Elsewhere....
Unknown Perspective....
"Sir, you better have a look at this," A young Garrison soldier said, passing me a spyglass. Taking the small device in my hands, I peered through the lens and looked towards the direction I was informed of. Beyond the green lands that once was human territory, now fallen to those... those monsters, sat something I never thought to see before. It was a fully intact building, one of the tallest I had ever seen. But what had caught my eyes was that it was floating nearly twenty meters off the ground. I don't know how or by what technology could do this, but something like that needed to be brought under attention to the higher ups. Returning the spyglass to the soldier, I tucked my hands into the pockets of my uniform and furrowed my brow.
"Report to General Pixis on that floating building," I ordered. "Make sure to have him pass on the information to the Scouting Legion. We need to know if there are lives that could be in danger at that thing, or if it's a ploy by the freaks below."
"Yes sir!" The soldier said, giving a salute before running off. I know those rumors of a human who could turn into one of the monsters is unusual, but that building might just top it all.
Back at Hotel Nebula....
Perspective of our Main Protagonist
"This is the reason I discourage you drinking on the job!" I exclaimed as my magic pulled ferociously hard. "Just in case accidents like this happen!" I think Yigvar might had said something snarky, but his head was stuck inside a beer barrel and possibly submerged in booze, so I couldn't hear him. "Just keep pushing and we'll have you out in no-time." His hands grasping the sides of the barrel and my magic wrapped around his body, we continued to pull himself out of his situation more so. The damage done to the Hotel during the accidental jump was minimal in some areas, like guest rooms and bathrooms, but the Void Vineyard and the Gourmet were an absolute mess! Tables and chairs were overturned and thrown about the place, dishes and glasses were shattered from impact, and the staff were no better off. I found Moogaroo trying to put out the fire on his hat caused by an overturned stove, Twitchy huddled in a corner in a fetal position, trying to find her happy place, Lily was hanging from a light fixture above her salon, and... well, you know what happened to Yigvar. The only ones who weren't really harmed were the guests in their rooms, the guests who could float, and the Mister Handy robots. Why can't living beings be geometrically stable like those hunks of metal.
With a final heave, Yigvar's head managed to pop from the barrel, as well as the entire lid... which Yigvar and several Skritt were trying to lap up. *scoff* Alcoholics. Rolling my eyes at the bartender's antics, I moved to help some ponies who had been trapped under a flipped booth, when who should pass by but Jeff, his eyes rolling wildly and hands clung to his head.
"Stop the ride, mommy," He muttered. "I wanna get off."
"I don't know what the fuss was all about," Discord said, flapping his way towards us, holding a martini glass in his paw. "Take off was just perfect, if I do say so myself." Freeing the ponies, I glared at the two upstart guests as Jeff shook himself sane.
"Look, the entire thing was an accident," I explained. "And the troublemaker is being punished as we speak. So, why don't you two go to your rooms and wait until everything's normal."
"But nothing's fun when it's normal." Jeff whined. "And besides, this place is an unmarked world! Who knows what kinds of shit they've got here!"
"Don't even think about it." I declared, jabbing the Creep in the ribs. "I don't want this place to become a danger zone just because you  decided to have a little fun." I moved towards the Spirit of Chaos as he picked his teeth with a tiny umbrella. "That goes for you, too." The draconequus merely humphed and opened the tiny umbrella, causing him to float upwards to Celestia knows where. Jeff had decided to wander off, leaving me alone whilst the Skritt and Mister Handy's were helping the injured or startled guests. Feeling my work was somewhat done, I decided to get a lay of the land.
Stepping out the front lobby's doors, I stood upon the floating ground that held the Hotel aloft. I still have yet to find out how this rock can fly, but it didn't matter to me at the time. Looking out onto the far green pastures of land, I could see far into the distance of this mysterious new world Midnight had left us stranded in. I wondered what lived here, what laws this world followed, why that wall off in the distance was there, and why the area seemed devoid of life. Just as I was about to leave, I met one of the inhabitants. It appeared right out of nowhere, in front of the Hotel doors. It was a massive human-like creature, with messy brown hair, a blank stare, and a fixed smile that, while nowhere near as horrific as Jeff's or Never Alone's, still chilled me. Oh, and I probably should mention that it was completely naked and showed no gender-specific features. It just stood there, staring exactly on eye level with me. It was probably about fifteen meters in height alone! If this was going to be a guest, there might be some rooming complications.
"Um... excuse me, sir?" I spoke, raising a hoof. "I do hope we didn't startle you with our rapid arrival. You see, this is the Hotel Nebula, a hotel that can travel through time, space, and the universal barrier, and we sort of accidentally stranded ourselves here." It didn't respond, just stared at me. "Well, if it's not at all trouble, we would like to know exactly where we are and who you are, since we're kind of stuck here." Still it was silent. I was beginning to wonder if this thing had any intelligence at all. "So... Can you even say anything?" Footsteps behind me revealed Yigvar joining me, wringing beer out of his beard.
"Is this the local life?" Yigvar asked. "He's a big one." Then, the tall human reacted. It's mouth opened wide, revealing a wide collection of sharp teeth. What bothered me most was that it was leaning towards us!!!! Quickly reacting, I pulled Yigvar away and dove back inside the building just as the local bit into the ground. I stared at the monstrous thing as Yigvar merely gaped in awe at the beast. "Did that thing just try and eat me?!"
"I think it did." I clarified, rising to my hooves. "Okay, I want you to get the Skritt and Mister Handy's, tell them to get all the guests to their rooms. If whatever that thing is has friends, then we might be in danger. Alert the Big Daddies to protection and keep an eye out." Yigvar nodded and bolted into the Hotel. Bringing up my technological watch, I contacted Commodore Legs. "Commodore, we've got a problem."
"I'll say we do!" The frog's voice responded through my ear-piece. "Scanners just picked up zat something just hit ze Hotel front door!"
"Yeah, it was a local." I explained, watching the monster slowly pull itself from the door and shaking dirt out of its mouth. "Big naked human thing. It tried to eat me once Yigvar stepped out."
"Big naked human zing?" Legs asked. "And it tried to eat you and ze Nord? For some reason, zat sound familiar."
"Familiar?" I asked. "I though you said this world was unexplored?"
"No, I said zat zis universal array is vastly unexplored." The frog clarified. "Zis could be a 'Here Be Monsters' universe. Come back up to Control, I'll probably have something." With a click, I disengaged contact. Shooting one last look at the monster that nearly tried to eat me and a fellow co-worker, I trotted away, hoping to find some pieces to this broken puzzle.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
                Chapter 7: Attack on Hotel                 
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 7: Attack on Hotel
Hotel Nebula Command Room
Commodore Legs rapidly tapped buttons on his computer, a display of various words and images flashing on a screen before the two of us. He claimed to have a hunch on where we were and what monster had just tried to make a meal out of Yigvar and I. For several long minutes, Legs continued to search for answers while I kept an eye out for more of those things out there. Much to my dismay, where there was but one giant naked human, there were now seven, each an incredible height and bearing fixed smiles. Some had bulging bellies while others seemed anatomically disproportionate, but they all made way towards the Hotel at a slow, lumbering pace. Luckily, all the guests were safe in their rooms and the guards on alert. As an added protection, Fix-It engaged a shield that prevented any hostiles from so much as touching the Hotel. I prayed to Celestia that we would get out of this horrid place soon.
"Très bon!" Legs proclaimed, having found a file under the 'T' section. "I've discovered what zose nudist cannibals are!" Trotting away from the telescope and to the computer, I saw that Legs had pulled up an image of one of those tall monsters, several statistics graphs and numeric code around it.
"Well, what are they and were are we?" I asked, nervous and anxious for an answer.
"Zese are Titans," Legs explained. "A fairly recently discovered race of massive monsters zat exist solely in zis and parallel universes. Zeir exterior appearance is similar to humans, but are much more beast-like. Zey appear to be immortal, and have an appetite for consuming," He paused for a gulp. "Humans. According to historical data, Titans nearly 100 years ago nearly drove humanity to extinction, forcing zem within a massive city protected by three tall walls. Zey have been stranded there ever since."
"And they've come here because...." I began, realizing the danger most of the guests were in. "Oh, dear sweet Luna, we're in horrible danger."
"Apparently, ze IDA has only been in zis world once before," Legs continued. "Only to capture several Titans for experimentation, and aiding in the reclamation of a human district. Data shows Titans have a single weak spot at ze nape of zere neck, a relatively difficult spot to hit." Legs sighed, putting his pipe back in in his mouth and taking a long puff. "Looks like we'll have to batten down ze hatches until we can make anozzer jump."
"How long will that take?" I asked.
"Three days." Oh, we're doomed. I paced back and forth, sweat dribbling down my brow as I tried to comprehend the situation at hand. This was not how I expected this job to be. It was supposed to be flying across worlds, meeting exotic guests and having fun with friends, not hiding from giant monsters with creepy smiles. Then, a small, if possibly futile, idea popped into my head.
"Why don't we try getting to that wall over there?" I suggested, pointing at the aforementioned eyesore.
"No good," Legs said. "Even if we had ze reserve power to hover over zere without drawing ze Titans to us, standard IDA protocol states zat we refrain from interacting with non-dimension traveling universes, lest zey acquire dangerous technology or damage be one. I'm sorry, monsieur."
"So... we're sitting ducks." I said, breathing heavily. Then another idea, wow I'm on a roll. "I'll contact Guardian! He'll know how to get out of here!" Fishing around my pockets, I pulled at the transportation stone... Y'know what? I'm just going to start calling it the Warp Rock from now on. Anyway, I retrieved the Warp Rock, and with a quick tap, I left Commodore Legs in a flash of light.
Unknown Perspective
The Open Fields
I bounced off my horse's back as she galloped across the grassy plains that once were part of Wall Maria, now just more hunting grounds to the Titans. I honestly couldn't believe the report I was given, but with all the insane information we've been getting right now, I'm not willing to doubt anything. Yet here I am, with a squad of fifteen men and women, heading towards a giant floating building on horseback, with no clue what the hell it is and if there's anything or anyone inside it. We rode for miles until coming to the remains of a fallen stone building, no Titans in sight. I'm still trying to remember why I signed up for this crap.
"Captain Joseph, sir," Said one of my fellow Scouting Legion soldiers, a young girl with messy brown hair and square glasses strapped to her head. "The target is in sight, but surrounded by five 15-meter class and two 10-meter class Titans." Great, just great. Now we've got those bastards to deal with. Absolutely perfect. "Orders, sir?"
"Simple, we divert their attention, then take those freaks down." I said. Most likely, it wouldn't work and there'd be a lot less of us returning to Headquarters, but we told Commander Erwin that we'd gather as much information as possible... Even if it means at the cost of our own lives. "On my mark, we get into standard formation and draw the Titans out. Whoever's closest will aim for the nape. Understood?"
"Yessir!" The soldiers said in unison. Taking one last glance at my men, we prepared ourselves and began the charge. For the Walls! For the Legions! For Humanity!
Back to the Ever So Handsome Narrator
Guardian's Office
"You can't?!" I exclaimed. After leaving the Hotel, I immediately directed the issue to Guardian, hoping that he would help us out of our predicament. He waited a few seconds, then outright told me he couldn't. Also, he was wrestling a big, muscular human, with no shirt, and wore a Neighpo- Japanese Samurai helmet with a skull covering his upper face (I will learn to separate pony vocabulary from other world terms eventually, I swear!), and was winning.
"Yes, I can't." Guardian said as he grabbed the arm of his opponent and pinned it to his back. "I'm sorry, but urget matters have me preoccupied before helping the Hotel get out of an unmarked universe." He lifted the man up. "I mean, this is the third time this month Shao Khan here has attempted to beat me in battle so to take my throne. And clearly hasn't learned his lesson."
"I will not submit to a man smaller than I!" The man, Shao Khan, bellowed, trying to break free. "Outworld will consume all, and I will be it's new king!" Guardian flipped him over, smashing his head on the ground, leaving my employer to place a black shoe on Shao Khan's chest.
"Give up, Khan." Guardian ordered, before looking up at me. "Sorry, but he's just so unbearable some times."
"But this universe isn't unmarked!" I protested. "Records say your organization has been to this world once before."
"Yes, once and only once," Guardian said, forcing his foot into Khan's stomach, causing the massive man to gasp in pain. "It was a relatively early point in the IDA, and it was when a former ally of mine showed his true colors." He picked up Khan by the leather straps across his chest and repeatedly punched him in the face, not once breaking eye-contact or changing his tone. "The best you can do is keep shields up to ward off the Titans, have the Big Daddies attack any that get too close, and wait until the reserves recharge." Once Khan was so punch-drunk he couldn't even see straight, Guardian tossed him aside, and bowed before me. I, of course, applauded politely, still unnerved by Guardian's unwillingness to help.
"But we'll be there for three days!" I exclaimed. "I don't want the guests to panic. And what if the humans that live beyond the wall, what if they investigate?" Guardian paused for a moment, neither of us aware of Shao Khan steadily getting up, a large hammer materializing in his hands.
"Treat them as you would any guest." He stated. "Just don't let them tick off the Daddies." Shao Khan started to roar, charging at Guardian with a fiery hate. Without even looking, Guardian summoned an even larger green hammer in his hand, and slammed it into the Outworlder's head. The force of the hit was so strong, it created a Rift and shot Shao Khan right through it. "Never learns." Without another word, Guardian sat down at his desk, pouring over some papers with deep interest. Knowing there was no more coaxing him, I decided to take my leave, retrieving my Warp Rock, and vanishing in a burst of light.
Back at the Hotel....
Upon arrival, I found myself in the Hotel Lobby, and surrounded by armed Skritt. The little rodent creatures were prepared for battle, each carrying a different armament. Many had short, slightly chipped swords, others carried long wooden pipes (guns, I am told they're called), while some just held sacks filled with bottles and small marked rocks and others had boxes with bits of machinery in them. At the center of it all stood Twitchy, standing tall amongst her kin, who quickly took notice of me and dove at my hooves, bowing her head.
"Mister Tab Keeper!" Twitchy cried out. "We're so sorry for being so careless! We thought the sheild would keep them away, but they went right through it! Please don't punish us!" The other Skritt bowed in unison, each begging for his or her life. I was confused at first, but then I realized that we were in trouble. I stamped my hoof on the ground, silencing the Skritt.
"Calm down!" I ordered. "Can any of you explain what is going on in a clear and concise matter?" Twitchy rose from her bow, sheathing her sword.
"Well, the other worlders," Twitchy explained. "The Metal Giants held them off for a while, but they wouldn't stop."
"Woah, the Titans broke through?" I asked, worried about the issues.
"No, the big naked men left awhile ago," Twitchy said, waving her paw dismissively. "But the others got as far as the floating ground."
"Others?" I wondered. "What others?"
"Others as in humans." Yigvar said, stepping from the crowd and brandishing a massive warhammer with the head of a beer barrel. "Armed humans, with machines on their hips that shot wires and flew them up to the front door. They had swords in their hands, so the watery constructs registered them as threats." Before I could ask how they were dealt with, one Big Daddy passed by, its drill suspiciously caked in a red substance. I realized that this was violating Guardian's orders, and quickly ran to the front door. Outside on the narrow space of land were about ten humans. Each human was wearing what appeared to be a military uniform, wearing short brown over shirts, tannish undershirts, skin-tight white pants, and had these strange metal boxes resting on their hips. Several of the humans were brandishing sharp swords, clashing with the Big Daddies and loosing to the machine's massive strength. One human with short-cropped brown hair and a five 'o-clock shadow was running for his life, screaming his head off, while a Big Daddy, armed with a device I am told is a flame-thrower in place of a drill, blasted gouts of flame at him. This madness was just too much, and I knew I had to bring it to an end.
"HAAAAAAAAALT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. Immediately, all fighting factions ceased their combat, even the humans. The Big Daddies reverted to a stand-by position, while the humans looked at me with confusion and awe. "Now, which among you is in charge of this outfit?" The unexpected visitors pointed to the man I saw running like a scared little filly before, as he steadily walked towards me.
"You're... You're a talking horse." He said, breathlessly.
"Actually, I'm a pony." I said, slightly annoyed at being mistaken for a primitive form of Equestrian life. "And I would like to know who you are why you people decided to assault my building." At first, the man seemed flustered, unable to form a coherent sentence for a while. Finally, he stood upright, formed a fist in his right hand, crossed his left arm behind his back and placed his right arm across his chest.
"C-c-Captain Joseph Sterling of the 104th Scouting Legion, representatives of the Wall Maria," The man said in a soldierly fashion. "We were sent here on reconnaissance to investigate the floating building within Titan territory."
"And so you did," I said, glancing at the soldiers who eyed the Big Daddies with both anger and fear. "And you provoked our guards." Captain Sterling dropped his stance and bowed his head.
"We lost five good men and women to the Titans surrounding this place." He solemnly said. "Zondale, Grant, McKormick, Jones, and Maggey. They helped drive off the Titans, and when we rappelled up to this building, those metal monsters and the rats just attacked us." I shot an irritated look at Twitchy, who wilted under my gaze and bowed before me again.
"I'm sorry! We thought they were bad people!" Twitchy bawled. "They had swords and scary faces! No hurt, PLEASE!" Sighing, I placed a hoof to Twitchy's head and caressed it gently, trying to calm the upset Skritt.
"It's alright, it was just an accident." I consoled. "Nopo- nobody got really hurt."
"One of those things ripped my arm off!" Shouted a soldier who was missing an arm.
"Your fault for making the drill armed robots mad." Yigvar said, handing his hammer to some Skritt. After I was done comforting Twitchy, I resumed business persona and talked to Captain Sterling once more.
"Anyway, we apologize for the harming of your allies," I said. "But this intrusion is unacceptable. As penance, we would like assistance." The soldiers looked at me, baffled of my remark. Sterling stepped forward, looking down upon me.
"Assistance? Why would you need our help?" He asked. "You've got plenty of guards to keep the Titans away, and they only attack humans, so you should be safe."
"Yes, we're well protected," I explained. "But that's not our problem. We weren't supposed to be here, and now we're stranded for another three days. We can find a way out of here with the required materials, so I would like to request that you return to your superiors and explain our situation to them." They stood silent for a moment, shifting looks between each other and ourselves. Eventually, the human captain turned to face his troops and planted himself in that salute again.
"Soldiers! Rally and mount up!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. "We're moving back to headquarters to relay this information! Is that understood?!"
"Sir, yes sir!" The soldiers responded, dropping into salute. One by one, they hopped off the Hotel's ground, using those devices to shoot wires that propelled them to the surface. As the Skritt and Big Daddies returned to their posts, Yigvar stood beside me as I watched the humans vanish from sight.
"Something tells me we might be in trouble for this...." Yigvar murmured, hoisting his barrel hammer over his shoulder. "Well, I know just the cure-all for stress."
"No drinking." I abruptly said, causing the Nord to groan. "We may be stranded, but you're still on duty." As the bartender left, possibly complaining to himself about how I never let him have any fun, I thought to myself on the situation. Thinking that things might be a bit rough at the start, things may end up just fine. I had no idea how wrong I was going to be.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
    Chapter 4: The Good, the Bad, and the Misunderstood    
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 4: The Good, the Bad, and the Misunderstood
My head hurt like a buck to the face. I think I blacked out from that last guest. Ha, I could've sworn it was Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony. But that's ridiculous, why would that draconequus come here to Hotel Nebula after only arriving for a day? Slowly, I opened my eyes, regaining consciousness as I was greeted to a pair of blurry figures, one a midnight black and the other lily green.
"I think he's coming too!" I heard Water Lily say.
"Thank Luna! How bad would it be if he died on his first day." I heard Midnight Rider attempt to make a joke. Steadily my vision returned, and I was greeted with the warm sight of my friend looking down upon me with concerned frowns.
"Don't worry, I'm fine." I grunted, pulling myself to my hooves. "It'll take more than a simple surprise to take me down." My friends smiled for a bit, then a certain chimera stuck his head up from the floor.
"I'll say. It's poor behavior etiquette to faint in front of paying customers." Discord said, his headless body picking up his head and placing it on his shoulders. Oh... it really was Discord... My head started to get a little fuzzy again.
"Oh, there I go again." I muttered, on the verge of fainting again. However, Midnight quickly intervened and grabbed me before I could fall.
"Don't you go passin' out on me again, bud." Midnight ordered. I thanked my friend and took my place at the desk, trying to keep a neutral face before the God of Chaos. Discord recently had undergone a reformation at the behest of Princess Celestia, but ended up betraying Equestria when Tirek came around. So forgive me if I find myself reluctant to accept the prankster spirit's reformation.
"So... Discord... Why are you here at Hotel Nebula?" I said, tapping my hooves. Discord looked at me innocently, picking at his ear with his eagle talon.
"Why am I here?" He repeated. "Why I'm a frequent guest at this fine establishment!" He pulled a wallet out of his ear and rolled out a collection of pictures of him mingling with the guests and staff of the Hotel. He was drinking with Yigvar in the Vineyard in one photo, fleeing from Moogaroo brandishing a knife in another. Skimming through the photos, I even saw him posing with... Jeff the Killer.... He rolled up the photos and tossed the wallet away, the wallet flapping away to who knows where. "You think Hotel Nebula has only recently appeared in Equestria? My dear stallion," He leaned over the counter, wrapping his lion paw around my shoulders. "This Hotel travels through space, time, and universes often. It's been here before and after I was imprisoned in stone. Even the Princesses rented a room every time it comes here." My heart skipped a beat. Just the mere though of the Princesses of the Sun and Moon staying here, at a hotel under my supervision set my heart a-flutter. "Which brings me to the answer of such a trivial question. I would like to rent my suite on the forty fourth floor, Room 1337."
Rolling my eyes, I searched the wall for the aforementioned room key. Surprisingly, it was a golden marked box with a nametag on it. Reserved for Discord of Equestria, it read. I opened it, and pulled out a red and white candy cane with the room number on it.
"Why am I not surprised?" I muttered to myself. I turned back to Discord, dropping the 'key' on the counter. "So how long will you be staying?"
The mishmash creature produced a calendar from nowhere and put on a set of reading glasses, humming to himself. "Well, seeing as how I've gotten bored in Equestria, and the last disaster was a while ago. Since the next one won't be for another season, I think I'll stay...." With a wicked giggle, Discord rolled up the calendar and threw it away, striking an unfortunate Skritt bellhop on the head. "Until I'm bored."
I frowned, glancing towards the cash register. "I expect you to pay 20 bits for every day you stay here, you know."
"I know about fees, Mr. Tab Keeper." Discord said, producing a tiny coin purse from a pocket. "I'll pay for each day. Starting with the first month." He opened the bag, and a whole damn molehill of golden bits spilled out onto the desk. I gaped at the pile while Discord merely opened up the register and deposited the bits into the machine, swiping the key and leaving with a quick thank you. So... Discord was now a long-term guest at Hotel Nebula. Add that to the list of things I didn't expect on my first day. I think I was standing in shock for so long I didn't realize I still had customers to deal with. Luckily, the banging on the desk brought my attention back. Waiting at the desk was a tall and muscular human wearing brown shorts, a hat brimmed with sharp fangs, and... no shirt. On his chest was a strange shaped patch of chest hair, almost looking like a country from somewhere. His face had a thick brown mustache, and a look showing bemusement.
"What? Oh, whoops." I said. "I'm terribly sorry, I lost my train of thought for a moment." The man merely chuckled, waving his massive hand.
"Ah, think nothin' of it, fellow." He responded in a burly voice, with a strange accent to match, akin to the Kangaroos from a province a little ways away from Equestria. "Just toughen up and keep your eyes straight, in the future."
"I'll take that advice in mind mister..." I said, gesturing for him to continue. To my surprise (and that of several others in the room), he climbed upon the counter, and flexed his massive muscles.
"SAXTON HALE!" He bellowed, shaking the foundations of the Hotel. "Owner of the Mann Co. Shipping Company and strongest Australian in history! I've gone to Primate Hell and back, wrestled with the Horseless Headless Horsemann, and the boss of nine of the deadliest mercenaries in the Badlands. Not to mention, I cook a mean steak."
"You sell junk in *bleep*ing boxes!" Shouted a loudmouthed human somewhere in the room. "And most of them ain't *beep*ing explosives! Mann Co. *beeping* SUCKS!" I am not kidding, beeps actually came from his mouth when he spoke. Saxton Hale shot a glare at whoever yelled at him, pointing at the source of his anger.
"Shut your self-censoring mouth, Torgue!" Hale shouted, before climbing off the counter. He sighed, looking at me with an irate expression. "That man has no idea how faulty his products are. You can't cram $500,000 worth of explosive rounds into a sniper rifle or pistol and call it a product!"
"So you're a business man, I take it?" I asked.
Hale merely laughed. "Nah, I'm more of the action-adventure loving hero who beats the snot out of vicious animals for sport. I leave the paperwork to my assistants, and the product selling to the Administrator." Under his breath, he muttered old crow. "Anyway, I'd like to rent a room for two weeks." I nodded, punching in numbers on the cash register.
"What kind of currency will you pay in?" I asked.
"US Dollars." Hale responded. "I forgot to convert the cash to Pounds, so I'll pay in American money." Quickly, I began tapping out the currency for US Dollars (most of my customers have paid in bits, so I'm not entirely used to the finance systems of other universes), and finished with the register sounding off a ding.
"That'll be $15 per night." I said, removing a key (which was unusually large and appeared to be plastic painted gold) from the wall with my magic. "Your room number is 907 on the tenth floor. Thank you and have a pleasant day." Saxton Hale thanked me after taking his key, muttering about how it looked like one of his company's keys, and walked off. Sighing to myself, I continued to greet customers and give them their room keys for the majority of the day.
Three Hours Later....
"Your room is 666 on the sixth floor," I said, dropping the futuristic card key into the open palm of the next guest. "Have a pleasant stay, Mr. Robot Devil."
"Thank you, my dear pony." Snickered the rust-colored machine, twirling his tail. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to rest up a bit." With a sinister whistle, the robot left. With a loud moan, I plopped my head down on my desk, my jaw resting on the mahogany top.
"I never thought I'd see the day when I'd give a room to an animatronic version of the embodiment of evil from another universe." I muttered. "And to think four days ago I was filing papers."
"Getting frustrated with your new job already?" I heard Water Lily say. Lifting my head up, I saw my two friends standing at the desk, Midnight happily eating a sandwich.
"Not frustrated, Lily," I muttered. "Just trying to get used to the change of everything. A few days ago, I never knew there were other universes. And now I'm running a Hotel that hops dimensions once a week."
"Means adventure, buddy," Midnight said, granted his words were muffled from the food still in his mouth. Swallowing, he put a hoof on my desk, a cheerful look on his face. "Think about this, dude. You are doing something nopony in Equestria could even dream of: Going beyond this world into others." Princess Twilight happened to be passing by, a small chuckle escaping her lips. "You'll have a great time, and best of all, you've got friends to spend it with."
"That's right, the staff really like you!" Lily agreed. "They'll be great friends along this journey."
"Yeah, but they aren't ponies like me." I sighed. Then, an idea came into my head (or was it the bulb hanging loose from the ceiling that a Skritt was attempting to fix). Leaning over the table, I stared at my two friends. "You both are looking for jobs, right?"
"Yeah, in Ponyville." Midnight said through another mouthful. "What about it?" After a few moments of awkward silence, I quickly put up a sign that I was going off duty, pulled out that stone Guardian gave me, and waved of my friends, vanishing in a flash of light.
To Guardian's Office in the Pocket Dimension Array...
As the light cleared from my eyes, I was greeted to the unexpectedly ominous sight of Guardian's office. The entire room was spherically shaped, much like an observatory. Speaking off observatory, the ever expanding room had a black domed room, dotted with various small lights and constellations. Some of which had emblems next to them, like a winged sword or a creepy mask. One of the more prevalent symbols were of a circular medallion with the letters IDA emblazoned in gold, and a fragmented piece of crystal. The room itself was a deep black, and featured several completely packed bookshelves and display cases sported various weapons and artifacts. Statues of various figures stood amidst the black floors, some in triumphant poses and others frozen in historical moments, I supposed. Overlooking a beautifully crafted wooden desk was an uncannily lifelike portrait of Guardian in his human form, standing tall and imposing with a smirk on his face. Behind the desk was a black velvet chair, swiveled around and facing a fireplace that seemed to lead... nowhere. And resting on that chair was a black sleeve clutching a glass of fine wine, just the interdimensional super power I was looking for.
"Mr. Guardian of Worlds, sir," I called out, cautiously stepping forward. "It's Tab Keeper. I'd like to speak to you."
"Ah, yes. Come in." Said Guardian, still facing the chair. Carefully, I walked towards the desk, nervous with meeting my boss like any employee would.
"So, erm... Sir I have a request for you." I said, nearing the desk.
"Ah, yes. Come in." Guardian repeated, oddly. Quirking an eyebrow, I now stood behind the chair, Guardian's black arm still clutching the drink.
"Sir, you already said that." I said. With no other response, I slowly poked the chair with a hoof, turning it around slightly. To my surprise, no one was sitting there! All that sat on the chair was a model arm with a black suit sleeve clutching a drink, and a tap recorder repeating the phrase 'Ah, yes. Come in.' "What in the name of-"
"Gotcha!" Said the portrait of Guardian. Jumping off my hooves and screaming (a totally stallion-like scream and not a filly scream like Guardian claimed), I saw that the portrait of Guardian was laughing hard, clutching his stomach and holding onto the edge of the golden frame. "That works every time! Who says immortals have no sense of humor."
"Wha... Wha... WHA!!!" I exclaimed, breathless as Guardian slowly climbed out of the portrait.
"Secret room I had built as an escape route should I be compromised." Guardian clarified, dropping to the ground. "Also doubles as a prankster's perch. Good fun for all," He shot me a mirthful glance. "Especially me." Giggling like a child, Guardian propped himself in his chair, turning about to face me. "So, what can I do for you?" After a moment of attempting to catch flies, I shut my mouth and took my place in front of the desk.
"Well, sir, I have an employment request for you." I stated. Guardian leaned on his desk, idly playing with a small globe of some unfamiliar planet. "Two friends of mine happen to be jobless, and I would like to have them working at the Hotel."
"Names and talents." Guardian said. "Then I'll see."
"Well, there's Midnight Rider," I listed. "A rambunctious pegasus I grew up with. He used to work for the Night Guard prior to the Tirek attack, and has the ability to see in the dark like a bat."
"Nightvision, eh?" Guardian asked, jotting down stuff on a notepad that he procured from his desk. "Might have yourself another Night Guard, as if the first one wasn't bad enough...."
"Another night guard? We have night guards?" I asked, completely unaware of this new information.
"Be glad you don't know him. Just... Don't get up in the middle of the night." Guardian said. "And the other friend."
"An Earth Pony mare named Water Lily," I said, a dreamy look in my eyes just thinking about that beautiful mare. "She used to me a masseuse in a Spa before coming to Ponyville. She has an amazing talent for keeping ponies serene and calm, like a lotus on a water lily in a stream. She's also incredibly kind-hearted, funny, beautiful...
"Has the best plot you've ever seen?" Guardian playfully added, leaning on his desk like a teenager gossiping. My face grew hot and turned beet red, realizing how easily I was read. Guardian laughed, waving a gloved hand. "Haha, relax Tabs. I'm just messing with you. I've been in love numerous times in the past, I know all the symptoms." He picked up his notepad and continued writing on it. "So, she's good with massages then? Looks like the steam room and sauna might have more customers then, especially if the Mr. Handy's are recalled from there." With a satisfied grunt, Guardian removed the notes and slid them across the desk. "Sounds like they'd get along well at Hotel Nebula. Just give them those letters of recommendation, and they can get started as soon as they get set up." Taking the notes in my magic, I tucked them into my suit pocket and beamed at my employer.
"Thank you very much, sir!" I exclaimed. "I promise, they'll be excellent co-workers."
"Good, very good." Guardian muttered, climbing back into his portrait room. "Now, if there isn't anything else, the G-Man will be visiting for a moment, and I want to give that sourpuss a little jolt." Waving off my oddly eccentric boss, I once again activated the transportation stone and vanished in a flash of light.
Back at Hotel Nebula...
Reappearing in the Hotel, I was oddly baffled to find I was not at the desk I originally warped from, but instead on the fourth floor of the hotel. The red carpeted floors, tan floral walls, and endless stretch of wooden doors were the only things keeping me company in the expansive hallway. That, and Twitchy was standing next to a tray filled with complimentary room service, a paw on her rapidly rising chest. I do believe I have the poor girl a heart attack.
"Sorry, Twitchy," I apologized, trying to calm the Skritt. "The item Mr. Guardian gave me to go to his office must've sent me here for some reason."
"Don't worry, Mr. Keeper," Twitchy said, pulling to her feet. "But, I think it good thing you come here." She stood next to me, pointing to one of the doors further down the hall. "Mean guest in Room 487 yell at Twitchy for going in, even if they asked for food."
"Room 487?" I asked. "Well, I guess I can try and talk to him."
"Well, it's not really a him." Twitchy said, tapping her claws.
"Then I'll talk to her." I reiterated.
"Well, it's not really a her." Twitchy said, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Then what is it?" I exclaimed, slightly raising my voice.
"Well, it's more of a them...."
"Oh, so there's more than one?"
"Not really." Now I was getting annoyed, and stormed off to the Room. Knocking a hoof on the door, I waited for a reply, yet received none.
"Excuse me, this is the Hotel Manager, and I've received a tip of one of you harassing my employees." With a short click, the door opened... and I was honestly caught off guard by the guest. It had three heads, one blue, one pink, and one green. A greenish fuzz covered their bodies and sat atop their heads as hair. Orange horns stuck out of each of the heads, although the two heads on the shoulder sides of the body had only a single horn attributing to the sides they sat on.
"Hi, Mister Manager," The three heads answered in unison. "How can we help you?" I glanced at the Triple-Header, then back at Twitchy, then at the Triple-Header once again. All I could simply muster was a 'huh'. Shaking my head, I took on a strictly business posture and look.
"Yes, well this young Skritt says that you had yelled at her when she delivered your food." I explained. The green head on the left smacked his head with a green reptilian arm, groaning in frustration.
"Yeah, that's my bad." Green Head said. "You see, when we were unpacking, we stubbed the left foot on the side of the bed, and since I'm the left head, I got full brunt of the pain."
"And I got half of it." The Middle Pink Head said.
"I felt nothing." Blue Head added.
"When the bellhop came in, I was kinda mad so I took the anger out on her." Green Head said. He leaned out and waved to Twitchy. "Sorry about that, Miss! We'll take our meal now!" Sighing loudly as I stepped aside for Twitchy to bring in the cart.
"So that's all?" I asked. The Triple-Header nodded and grunted in confirmation, happily eating a pizza as Twitchy flashed me a thumbs up. "Very well, have a pleasant stay and contact the front desk if you need anything." Trotting off to the elevator, I stepped inside the red box and hit the button to the lobby. Aside from an uncomfortable silence standing next to another Big Daddy (why were they always in the elevator when I took a ride), it was somewhat pleasant. Stepping off into the lobby, still abuzz with activity, I went over to the receptionist desk and spoke to one of the Mister Handy's stationed there.
"Excuse me, but did you see Midnight Rider and Water Lily leave here by any chance?" I asked. "One's a male black coated pegasus and the other's a lily green Earth Pony mare."
"Ah yes, the two Equestrians went to the Gourmet for something Master Midnight Rider called 'linner' with a friend." The Mister Handy said, pointing a robotic arm towards the restaurant. Thanking the machine, I trotted to the Gourmet, seeing the entire place almost completely packed. Moogaroo must be overwhelmed... Or taking it as a challenge. That Quaggan was a strange one. Scanning the dark red room, I looked around for my friends. Sure enough I found them sitting at a booth off to the side... sitting with... ohsweetCelestiathey'resittingwithJEFF!!!!! I practically BOLTED to their table, afraid of what that homicidal maniac would be doing to them. I was so intent on getting to that table, I didn't see Moogaroo pushing a food cart and sort of collided with it. Before I could pick the bits of salad out of my coat and mane, I had to make sure my friends were alright and that Creep wasn't doing anything to hurt them! Skidding to a halt at the table, breathing heavily, I was almost glad and confused to see my friends okay.
"Wow, Tabs, you look winded." Midnight said, blowing a low whistle.
"Yeah, what's the huge panic for?" Lily asked, jabbing a fork at her salad.
My eyes were nearly the size of dinner plates as I tried my hardest to keep my lungs from giving out. "You... *gasp... Are sitting... *gasp* Next to... *gasp* a PSYCHOPATH!" The two ponies shot a glance at Jeff, who simply sat in his chair with that same creepy smile.
"We know." They said in unison.
"Yeah, and these ponies really know hospitality." Jeff said, taking a bite out of his... ugh... hamburger. I was at a loss for words. My two closest friends in the world were sitting at a restaurant with an incredibly insane and homicidal murderer, and they were fine with it!!!
"Buh... buh... what?" I sputtered.
"Let me explain, Manager," Jeff said, putting down a knife he was fiddling with. "After you and I had our little spat, I went to get my room checked. I did, but when I got to my room, I forgot the key on the desk. Luckily for me, Ms. Water Lily here happened to see me forget the key, and she and Midnight personally brought it to me." He leaned on the table, looking at me with his unblinking eyes. "Normally, I'd gut anything that came close to me, but since I didn't have Stabs McGee, I figured I'd treat these two to a sort of early dinner, late breakfast."
"It's called linner, dude." Midnight clarified, receiving a chuckle from Jeff. "So yeah, Jeffy here bought us food, and we've been talking for a while now after you took off. Honestly, once you get past the fact he looks like a psycho and smells like dried blood, he's a bit of a nice guy."
"Re-Really?" I said in disbelief.
"Really really, Tab Keeper." Jeff said. "Look, I know you've heard about the stuff I did earlier in the Hotel, especially in those thirteen rooms. However, talking with these ponies has shown me exactly why you had this rule change. There are definitely good people around here that don't need a blade like mine to end them so quickly. It's like my Creep mentor always taught me: Death comes to all things, but we still must cherish the life of others and only punish those who truly deserve it. Anywho, I promise to be good while I relax at the Hotel." If he had his eyelids, I could've sworn he made a winking motion. "Doesn't mean I won't have any fun every once in a while." I shot him a wary glance, knowing there was something still off this Creep, but something told me that a bit of Equestrian kindness has entered him. With a sage nod, I turned to my friends, and pulled out the letters Guardian gave me.
"Oh, I went and saw my employer," I said. "Congratulations, you just received new jobs at Hotel Nebula." Levitating the letters to my friends, their eyes widened as they saw the words written on the paper.
"Jobs here?!" Midnight exclaimed, dropping his sandwich.
"If you choose to accept," I explained. "You'll each be paid 250 bits a day and have living conditions on the penthouse like the rest of the major employees." Jeff made a sound reminiscent of a whistle (which baffled me, due to him lacking lips), as he overheard our conversation.
"Wow, 250 bits. Ain't those gold coins?" Jeff remarked. Lily and Midnight could only stare at the papers with smiles on their faces. After a few seconds of silence, aside from the hustle and bustle of the restaurant, the two ponies flung their forehooves around me in a hug, a warmth of happiness emanating off us.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'." I said. Amidst our embrace, I felt a familiar flipper hand touch my shoulder. Turning my head slightly, I saw Moogaroo standing behind us, a bemused look on his face, and a tenderizing mallet in his hands. "Can you hold off on beating me for knocking that tray over until later? My friends just were hired."
"No." The Quaggan Cook answered. With that I ran like a bat out of Tartarus, but a smile sat on my face, knowing I would undergo this journey with friends at my side, old and new. One thing left me wondering: How can something with legs that stubby run so fast?