Who's Fucking?

by TheTraxicEnd

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life
Length: 5224

Several pony couples discuss the interacies of their beautiful relationships and sometimes even divulge in some... fun times.

"And now we're fucking!"

A series of vignettes involving either your favorite pairings, or your most unexpected pairings. Join the roller coaster of puns that float in and out of existence while the rest of the world stares at this work in shame [spoiler]or happiness, if you think the world runs on that[/spoiler].

Trigger: Horrific Puns.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-26 11:00:27 UTC

The Big Apple and the Easy Bake Oven

“We met… a year ago at the Apple Family Reunion,” an excited yet innocent feminine tone announces. “I immediately noticed Big Macintosh staring at me from across the barn.”

“Eyup,” Big Macintosh replies, nodding his head at the mare of his life. “I couldn’t stop starin’ at her. I wanted ta go over there and get with her, but I was too shy. Then, I got this thought in my head that just wouldn’t go away. It said ‘Big Mac, you need to go introduce yourself… or you’ll be missin’ out on the possibility of a lifetime…”

Derpy smiles and nuzzles into his form. “He came up to me and asked me my name, who invited me, where I lived, and if we could go out sometime… and I just couldn’t say no to him.”

Big Mac smiles and nuzzles her back. “And… one thang lead to another and now…”

Derpy nudges Big Mac. He looks at her and she looks at him. In one final swing, they both announce proudly, “And now we’re fucking!”

The crowd applauds rather joyfully, praising the couple for finally uniting in more ways than one.

“My parents were so happy when they heard I was fucking Derpy,” Big MacIntosh begins, holding her tightly in his forehooves. She sighs while snuggling against his belly. “They were worried one day I wouldn’t be able to find a mare I could stuff my big apple in.”

“See, I was worried your cherry muffin spire wouldn’t even fit in my easy bake oven,” Derpy proclaims, rubbing her hoof against her stallion’s leg. “Luckily, he knows how to plug it in just right.”

“You know your place,” Big Mac says with a smile, petting his marefriend’s mane ever-so-slowly. The two laugh boisterously with the crowd.

Once the laughter subsided, Big Mac continues, “See, if ya didn’t, I would have to rut you until the cows came home, wonderin’ if ya needed any more precious milk for your scrumptious chocolate muffins.”

“I would love that, Biggy,” Derpy replies softly, her eyes glued to her love. “Maybe you should do that next time we fuck next to the cowpen.”

Big Macintosh lets out a suave growl while nuzzling his partner's neck. “You see why she isn’t my normal fuck?” The crowd stares at Big Mac. “My friends were extremely skeptical of her due to her unusual perkiness and roving eyes; no one knew what she was lookin’ at.”

“I dispelled that pretty quickly, especially when I told them he plowed my muffin top so hard that he ripped me a new one,” Derpy states while staring into his green irises.

Big Macintosh laughs loudly, his hearty guaffing echoing loudly in the room. “See what I mean? From the first date I knew that this was the mare I wanted to empty my balls in for the rest of my life!”

Derpy giggles. “You know what Big Mac?”

Big Mac snaps to the sound of his mare. “Eyyup?”

“I still remember the time when we first fucked,” she says seductively, bringing her hooves around him in a nice, innocent hug.

Big Mac grins. “Oh, I remember as well. You were laying right on the hay bale I just finished compacting together,” he explains, pointing at the spot of which they fucked. “You were moaning and calling for my apple rod to pierce your care package.”

Derpy moans rather loudly. “Yes,” she draws out. “I called your Statue of Appbrity and asked for it to ram me to Appleloosa.” Big Macintosh's eyes widen, causing Derpy to laugh. “Apparently you remember!”

The time flashes before Biggy’s eyes, the dirty memory bringing a familiar visitor to the table.

“Macintosh!” Derpy says, her eyes attempting to focus on the long shifter. “It is not the time to bring out your mighty meaty!” She spots the shifter’s quick retreat. “That’s right, we mustn’t show our audience our fucking!”

All the while, Big Macintosh can’t stop blushing, the audience observing his meaty beefer. “I cannot stop thinking of our first fuck Derpy!”

As if he ignited her pot, the mare’s defensive demeanor changes. She looks at him with bedroom eyes, half-lidded and crossed; Big Mac loves that look. “Biggy,” she moans. “You had me stuck in the hay, begging for more.”

The shifter is back, cycling through the various speeds. It stands at full tilt, standing proud for all to see. “D-derpy,” he whimpers out.

She ignores his plea, straddling him. “I kept asking you for more while you gave me a tremendous pounding, smashing my poor chamber of commerce with your giant apple on a large, meaty porker.” She licked the side of his cheek. “You almost knocked the founders off their own member’s list!”

The crowd roars in laughter while the founders of said chamber groan in despair. There was no easy way out of this hole.

Big Macintosh, on the other hoof, couldn’t help but turn pink at the praise he was receiving. He couldn’t fathom it all, but he knew one thing…

It was his turn to make her embarrassed.

“D-derpy?” Big Macintosh asks, trying to keep his composure.

Derpy looks at him, tilting her head slightly to the side. “Yes, Biggy?”

He couldn’t help but smile at her adorable face. “I remember another time that might bring back some…” He pauses to lick ever-so-slowly across her cheek, a red tint showing on her face. “...precious memories.”

She squeals as he pecks her lips. “I remember when you wanted to fuck right outside Twilight’s Library when she was studying for her most important exam.”

The crowd stares onward as Big Mac continues to bring out the juicy details. “You were so ready, you were just begging for me to make you a nice, creamy apple pie right in your muffin delight.”

Big Macintosh sees his lover squirming on him, giving him more reason to continue. “I hope Twilight didn’t hear you moan, because if she did, you know she’ll want all the details for her next letter to Celestia…”

At this very moment an audience member came, the shrill sounds of one who uses dairy as their main supplement echoes throughout the room. Derpy hears the mare’s cry, followed by an even more frustrated grunt of annoyance. “Mac, did someone jus—”

“Derpy, right now,” Big Macintosh says while nuzzling his cheek to hers. “I am thinking of only one thing: a fuck like this, in front of all these ponies, comes around only once, so I better not blow it.”

She smiles, her cheeks still tinted pink. “B-Big Mac,” she says, holding him close.

“I’m not finished,” the majestic red apple says, peering at her partner’s chic form. “I was looking so long for a mare like you that I could plow so hard that you would trot funny for two days straight, and…” He pauses, before kissing her cheek. “I found it, right here,” he finishes, poking his hoof on her belly.

She giggles and kisses him back. “I’m so glad I found you: a muffin pounder that compacts my package into one, unified delight. You make me so warm that I just can’t stop wanting your strong, long mixing utensil inside my warm mixing pot.” Derpy brings her hoof to his cheek. “I’m glad that I never stopped going on dates with you.”

Big Macintosh sighs. “No one should ever give up on a true fuck,” he states calmly.

The lovely couple looks at each other, staring in each others eyes. “The fuck you’re waiting for is out there,” Derpy says enthusiastically, grabbing Big Mac’s hoof in one, swift movement.

Big Mac yelps, surprised by the quick thinking of his marefriend. He turns to the audience and states, “I know I’ve found mine.”

With that, an audience member moans, followed by an unexpected special delivery of muffins raining from above.

Twilight Sparkle and the Infamous Wonder Rod™

Two sit quietly, staring at the lens of life: a camera. Every day, Soarin and Twilight Sparkle record themselves and post their recordings onto EquestrianVideos, a place where everypony can post their videos to earn bits. For this couple, the bits didn’t matter. Majority of the time, they donate the bits to local charities. Other times…

“You want to go first?”

...they buy some 'supplies'.

Twilight nods as she stares into the camera, her wings fluttering lightly in anticipation for the new video submission they are creating. She has wanted to share her love for her stallionfriend since the day she decided to go out with him. It’s been a year since they first started going out in secret and Twilight has been anxious in finally showing the public her handsome stallion. She wanted them to love him for who he is and she is going to show them.

Twilight takes a deep breath and begins her announcement, “Hello, citizens of Equestria.”

Across the land, several of those who had the newly technological feats stared at the screens of the visionary behind the advancement of magical power: Twilight Sparkle. Her calm, laid-back tone echoed in their ears as she continued, “I have an announcement to make.”

She glances over at Soarin with all the love she has in her eyes. “I wanted to let you all know that I…”

She stopped.

The world in her head burst to flames.

She couldn’t say those words.

If she did, Equestria could turn into a giant land full of sparkling iguanas that cook apples with easy bake ovens.

Equestria could fall to a giant horde of vicious stuffed teddy bears riding horseback on multiple clones of Braeburn.

Equestria could turn into a giant marshmallow with purple hair and a horrifying desire to sew ponies together with needles the size of the Royal Equestrian Treasury, whos poor failing economy has left as much worth as Shining Armor’s sex life: little to none.

Equestria co—

“Twilight?” Soarin asks, raising an eyebrow. “Are you alright?”

After going down the slide of Equestria’s fall, Twilight wondered if she’ll ever recover. “I… am alright.”

Soarin sighs and scoots his chair over, putting him in view of the camera. With a smile on his face, he wraps a wing around his beloved and says, “We’re fucking.”

The crowds across the globe gasp in unison. The air around them has been sliced in half due to all of this shock, causing some ponies to even faint.

Twilight nor Soarin will never know this as they continue their video. “That’s right,” Twilight says as she nuzzles her stallion’s neck. “We’re fucking a lot.”

Soarin’s eyes widen. “Twilight!” He brings his hooves to her shoulders. “You didn’t need to mention quantity!”

“But I wanted to,” Twilight says seductively. “You wanted to help me announce our wonderful relationship in every single aspect.” She slowly straddles her stallion, a light blush on her cheeks. “Unless you’re too chicken, flyboy.”

Seeing his love straddling him on camera in front of millions of possible viewers made him blush tenfold. He could feel the heat radiating off her magical body as if the magic inside her had its own heating source. “I-I’m not chicken,” he struggled to say as his love rubbed the possible heat source along his regulatory joystick. “B-but I know how to make one squawk.”

Twilight was unable to even gather the thought before her stallion used his primaries to rub her secondaries in third pony view. She couldn’t even hold back a moan, the heat inside of her boiling like that one time at School of Gifted Unicorns, when she thought that Celestia really was as hot as the sun and went in deep to investigate. Thankfully, she didn’t find the extremely hot source, otherwise she’d be burned to a magical sparkly crisp.

Shaking her head from those misadventures, Twilight continued to grind her stallion’s wondertool. “Y-you weren’t lying,” she states in complete euphoria. “I feel like I’m Soarin!”

Soarin bops her nose. “No, I’m Soarin! You’re Twiflight Sparkbolt!”

She stops her sexual grinding to comprehend his statement. “Soarin’!” she whines. “You cannot mention my Wonderbolt nickname on camera!”

As the scene begins to unfold, the crowd stares in astonishment while some quickly shield their children’s eyes. On camera was Twilight Sparkle: her usual regal attire now dismantled as her stallion rutted her “magical brewing cauldron of harmony” with his “lengthy divebomber of wonder”. The two ponies moaned and groaned as Soarin continued to shove his Wonderbolt into her large, pink book binding.

“Soarin!” she shouts while being slammed against the table as her stallion used her services to create a whole new brew.

The stallion grimaces as he continues the act, “Yes?”

She moans loudly. “Pull out!”

In a pitch effort to swoop right the fuck out of there, he bats his wings, causing him to shoot right out of her magic guild and into the air, the white Wonderbolt delight shooting out like a water gun without recoil. “T-Twilight!” he shouts in alarm, the feeling of ecstasy and utter release overtaking his mind.

Still reveling over her stallion’s care, she sighs and looks up. “Ye-oh my stars!” She observes her stallion’s panicked expression as multiple copies of his all exclusive VIP backstage passes exit his automatic bolt gun in a white, sticky, liquidated form. The Wonderbolt begins to release stallion tears, upset that his rod could not stop spewing backstage passes; his boss will be pissed.

Knowing her days could end rather abruptly if she couldn’t stop her stallion’s false printing ability, Twilight Sparkflightbolt rushed up to his aid. “Soarin!”

“I-I can’t stop bolting out copies!” he shouts, staring at his Wonder Rod™. “It’s making them in intricate!”

Twilight could not stop staring at it: the distinct engraving on his white, wavy passes drew her closer. She couldn’t help it; they smelled so… intoxicating. She just needed a lick to mark them with her seal of approval. After all, Equestrian’s copyright laws clearly state that a Princess of a higher caliber must approve of marketable items by using any sort of notifier that can indicate approval. In this case, Twilight thought her tongue could be a perfect match.

Soarin could only stare as he saw his lover, Twibolt Sparkflight inch closer and closer to his impeccable honorary rod of boltlihood. His mind couldn’t even handle the situation right now; his fucking meaty pipe wouldn’t stop painting their camera white. If it continues he might just pa—

“Holy Fucking Shit, Twilight!” Soarin shouts, raffling off words that he didn’t even know could go together at that moment. He couldn’t care if the camera was recording anymore. All he could care about was the mare who was massaging the underside of his copying machine with her harmony-based toner.

Twilight moans as she takes in his “distinguished award” in one whole swing, gripping the large rod tightly in her wet drive-thru. She services it with ease, licking up and down and around the bend, hoping to not miss one spot of her delectable treat.

“T-Twilight,” Soarin mutters out in desperation as he eyes the mare of all mares. “Y-you’re too good at sucking on my Wonder Dong™.”

The Wonder Dong continued to spew out multitudes of unauthorized backstage passes. Twilight is currently trying to keep up, sucking on its large exit with her equally, if not larger muzzle. Twilight thought she would be choking on his special deliveries, but she wasn’t; the passes weren’t big enough to do that to her. However, if she got it to release in a quicker fashion, then she might have to pull off. She sighs, dismissing the thought of being drowned in her stallion’s delicacy. She continues to service him, feeling the white stuff that she’s been approving of slide down her passageway and into the Authentication Center of Equestrian Resources. Twilight knew that there, these passes could reside and frolic freely.

The low, throaty moans of her stallion spurs her on, bobbing her head up and down Soarin’s long donger. She couldn’t resist taking him all in, bargaining that the explosion of his second coming wouldn’t make her turn into a star in the sky. She takes a second to pop off his Wonder Sprayer™ to ask, “Are you close?”

“C-Close?!” he tries to shout as less of his fresh ink exits his inner workings. “I don’t even know if I’ve stopped printing!”

The dilemma has soared to new heights. Twilight must make a decision: let him print his copies inside her or redirect his ramp off the edge of the balcony.

In seconds, she knew what had to be done.

She waves her flank in front of her stallion’s eyes. “Soarin…”

Soarin stares at the welcomed sight, the bindings of her inner being put on display for him. “Y-you want me?”

Twilight moans in anticipation. “Insert it… in my gluteus maximus!”

Soarin pauses. “Your what?”

Twilight groans. “My anus you fucking hot, sexy featherbrain!”

He gasps in shock. “Twilight you know the camera is still recording, right?”

“I-I, I need it now,” she stutters, ignoring his question. “I can’t take this harsh treatment of our only camera, Soarin.”

He turns his attention to the camera. The poor magically powered device is covered in his ink. The rod continues to pump out rope after rope onto it. He sighs and turns back to Twiflight Soarpkle’s anus. It looks presentable, no brown shit in sight. He didn’t want to get shitdicked, not after the last one.

He positions himself above her and slowly-but-surely smashes his Wonder Donger inside her Harmony Pot. In that swift movement, the mare screamed loudly, feeling the burn of his meat inside her. The pressure was so tight, she couldn’t handle it.

“We’re so fucking,” Soarin states out flat, grimacing all the while.

“Shut up,” Twilight says as she begins to bounce up and down his designated flyer’s seat. “And take me.”

Boy, did he take her.

All the while, the crowd quickly dispersed while those who were too infatuated with the situation clopped furiously to the scene in front of them. They couldn’t believe how much fucking was taking place in that one scene. They never knew that Soarin could dismantle Twilight’s professional demeanor in one, rough swing of his Wonder Rod. Some even wanted to know where they could find this product. After all, Twilight did say she was keeping copies of the data… right?

Loving His Shining Armor

It was the day of reckoning for two star-crossed lovers.  They sat in a meadow, surrounded by the various daylilies that sprinkled the landscape. They stood in the center of it, hooves in one another's grasp. They eyed each other like hopeless romantics, yet, one thing was for certain in one of the lover's minds.

He was going to get laid tonight.

It had been a long while since he had gotten laid. The last mare he had stuck his long sword into her forge was a mere decade ago. When he did the deed, he had came out shining, basking in the fresh sunlight. He was the stallion of the hour, a story that he could not even compare to his relationship with his wife, who he has been with for nearly fifteen years. The two had been inseparable since the day he laid his eyes on her supple flank. He thought he was going to tap it and make another beautiful piece of metalwork, yet she refused him the artwork of a lifetime by saying it couldn't be done until they were wed. Even though he knew he could go tap any mare at any time, he stayed with her. The reasons, in his mind, were both stupid and unreasonable, however; he does not regret this relationship.

Those reasons were laced within his life. His mother did not want to let him lose the opportunity of a lifetime to plow someone's ass so hard that they couldn't walk for weeks. She spoke from experience, and she wanted her son to give the pony he is to love the pounding of a lifetime. She saw that through Cadence. Her beauty, as mother made him remember, was like a picture perfect mosaic. The only thing that needed to be added was his entry into her love capsule.

He facehooved. His mind was now incredibly enraged. Why wasn't Cadence wanting his size? Did she not know that they've been married for a year so far and that his advances such as...

"Babe."

"Yeah?"

"..."

"What?"

"Cadence, I'm wearing this for you."

"..."

"Don't you want me?"

"Shining, that looks ridiculous on you. Besides, *flips page* maid outfits don't fit well on you."

She even flipped her magazine page at him. Flipped it. At him.

There was also the other time, when he showed her his appreciation for her present on Hearth's Warming Eve...

"Babe..."

"Shining..."

"..."

"Ah!"

"What?"

"Shining! What are you doing?"

"You were giving me *the signs!"*

"Giving you *the signs*?"

"Yeah! That's why I'm poking you right now."

"...

"Shining, get out."

"Bu—"

"You didn't ask. Go."

It was dreadful. She hadn't made love with him yet. He needed it. Craved it.

Yet, everything he had done has been done. He had worn several lacy and frilly maid outfits, pretended to be a seapony, gave her several boxes of exotic chocolates, gave her a vase full of beautiful flowers, and pretended he was her new shiny bulldozer.

So, what was there left to do?

Well, he was going to find out.

"Cadence, dear?"

Her beautiful eyes peered back at him. "Yes, love?"

His heart fluttered at the word. "I need to talk to you about something..."

At that moment, his heart dropped at the sight of his love's frown. "O-Okay..."

Shining Armor brought his hooves around her form, enveloping his entire body with hers. She gasped before settling her head onto his shoulder. He sighed. "Cadence, remember that promise you said to me?"

"Promise?" she muttered.

"Yes, when we were younger."

She paused. He waited, listening to her breath while she thought. Then, her eyes widened. "Right, I promised you to take you to the cafe!"

Shining Armor pulled away and facehooved. "No! You promised me something more important than that."

His love's eyes lowered. "Going to the cafe isn't important?"

He frowned. "Not as important as what I've been thinking..."

"Thinking?" Cadence asked, her voice sounding more dry to Shining as she spoke, "Of what?"

"Twily got me thinking," Shining said. "Thinking about us." He pointed a hoof at her chest. "Together."

Her eyes began to shutter. "Are you..."

"No, no, no!" he shouted in panic. "You and I are fine, just..."

"Then what is it?"

His restrain had been left in a really dark alleyway. Here, in this very meadow, was his only chance to tell his love the truth. All of that lovely truth. And it was his, and his alone. "I want to have sex with you!"

In seconds, Cadence's mouth dropped, her cheeks returned to a premiere blush, and her eyes were wide as can be. Shining Armor took this in stride, his nervousness peaking. If she did not accept him this time, then his life as a stallion would be over. No more bragging, no more nice night sleeps, and certainly no children. Not a single offspring to carry the Sparkle name. Not to mention that he would be without the experience of plowing his lover's plot. He would have to imagine it all his life. What a sucky life.

He saw his lover's gaze, how it lowered to the ground in shame. He didn't like that face, that gaze; none of it was right. He wanted her to be happy with him, not sad. Even though his needs were definitely a priority, his love's well-being was too. "Bab—"

"Shining, I'm sorry."

What?

Tears rushed down his love's face. "I... I'm just..."

The wind slowly carries over the countryside. "You just what?"

Cadence's body quaked as Shining wrapped his forelegs around her form. She stuttered the words that he did not want to hear, "I-I'm... unable to carry your foals!"

Shining held his lover tight as she cried on his shoulder. He wasn't showing his love his true feelings of the situation; he didn't want her to be afraid of him. Instead, he kept his cool on the outside, yet, on the inside, his entire heart was broken. He imagined his future with their kids. Yet, that moment was trampled by this news. Nothing could make this better. All of his life was thrown under the rug.

"Why?"

Cadence stopped her crying and gazed up at Shining, whose flabbergasted look told the tale. She sighed and sniffled. "M-mother sat me down with the doctor a year ago to..." Cadence chokes back a sob. "To check for fertility issues." She gulped. "It was... apparent in my family that it was h-hereditary."

Shining gripped her tightly. "So you can't have any foals?"

Cadence gave a curt nod.

"Have you ever tried?" Shining blurted out.

Cadence blushed and shook her head.

"Then how do you know?"

Cadence growled. "Shining! The doctor said it himself! I can't have foals!"

"No, he gave you data. He didn't fuck you."

Now that bluntness made Cadence blush even more. "W-what?"

Shining licked her cheek. "He didn't make love to you like I have been wanting to for so long..."

"Shining," Cadence said. "Y-you--"

Shining Armor interrupted his love's stutter to plant a loving, passionate kiss on her lips. She gasped and melted in his grasp. The two fell over in the field, surrounded by nature's daisies and roses. They fell in love more than ever before at that moment while their hooves slowly wandered elsewhere. Shining's especially.

Cadence squirmed in his grasp and pulled from the kiss. "Shining!"

Shining Armor released his grip on her. "What?"

Cadence panted hard. Her face was flush, her horn was sending off smoke signals, and her hooves were trembling from their kiss. "I... What am I supposed to do?"

Now that was an odd question. "You mean..."

Cadence nodded. "I never had been told what I was to do..."

Shining's boner became another being as it slowly rose to attention. His warhammer was now ready to pound his lover's plot to submission. He gazed into her eyes and kissed her cheek before saying, "Then let me lead." His eyes gravitated towards her scrumptious flank. "I'll make sure you'll be shining when I'm done with you."

Cadence blushed before breaking away from her lover's grasp. She gently laid herself in the field and spread her legs apart, flashing her husband the best hole in all of Equestria. She smirked. "Come and get it, my armor."

He couldn't have been happier, his mighty hammer was ready for combat. He readily pounced on his love and dipped his hoof in her vagina. He felt it up, making Cadence moan softly and shiver from his touch. However, he didn't stop there. Shining Armor lavishly worked his tongue inside, making sure every spot was covered with his saliva. He drove in deeper with his tongue after one of Cadence's moans turned into a half-plea of ecstasy. "Oh Shining!" She moaned loudly, her body arching back as she let go of herself, let go to her armor. "I n-need..."

Shining popped his head out from the deep love tunnel he had penetrated, juices splattered on his maw. "You need what?"

Cadence struggled to say the word. It had been kept in her corner pocket since she was just turning of age. She had heard it after one of the other fillies talked about her coltfriend's massive lovespear™ slamming in and out her love tunnel. It made her wet after hearing their conversation, and she just had to excuse herself from her next class to go and relieve herself from her Princessly studies.

Shining stared at his love: how beautiful her body was, curvy and all. He just wanted to stick his warhammer inside so he can claim his wife in a glorious, passionate fuck. He didn't have any other way of putting it, his mind was too flooded with faces of his lover orgasming. The crave, the want, the desire; everything that related to Cadence's hot, warm, satisfying not-pocket pussy was the headliner of his mind. Nothing else could even top that.

He softly glided his hoof across her maw. "Cadey... What do yo--"

She found her voice through action too. "I want your GLEAMING SHIELD™."

She kissed him fervently before her lips captured his warhammer in her premium clamp.

Boy, did he gasp after that.

Meanwhile, an innocent little filly by the name of Lily walked through the meadow's various flowers, picking every daylily she could find. Her mind was focused on being a flower collector whose life goal was to know everything about them. She wanted to be like Roseluck, her friend's mother. She owned her own shop in Ponyville, but they frequently come to Canterlot for flower expos and the like. She wanted to be like them.

And she wanted her mother to love her passion.

Lily picked up another lily in her maw. She had been picking for an hour. It's a delicate job, which requires all the concentration in the world. One false move, and the whole flower could be swallowed whole. It was a dangerous job. If only she had somepony who--

"Oh Shining, fuck my sweet pink ass!"

She had almost swallowed one whole, but her fortunate concentration set her mind to drop it into her basket. The pegasus filly's wings had sprung out of discourse, which made the filly wonder of her existence. Why had her wings suddenly go stiff? Why are they locked in place? Why does she feel damp near her flank?

She turned to where the sound had come from. Slowly, she unknowingly approached the scene. As she came closer to it, she heard some foreign sounds, like some wet slapping sounds. They echoed somewhat, making her hear them in tenfold as she grew the closest without actually "seeing" them.

"Yes, yes, yes! Shining, f-fuck..."

She had heard that female voice rise in intensity. What were they doing?

Then, she poked her head slightly out from cover.

She wish she hadn't.

Cadence was in heaven, resting on her lover's cloud. She had been thoroughly plowed by his love hammer, and she was well spent. Her back hurts a bit though, probably from arching it to the point of almost cracking it severely. Hopefully she can teleport them home without divulging into a third round.

"S-Shining..."

Shining Armor was in the same, comatose-like state. "Y-Yes?"

She nuzzled her love. "T-Thank you for the f-fuck."

He licked her maw. "No, thank you for finally seeing me..."

"S-Shining... Can we go home now?" she asked.

"You don't want to stay here?"

She shook her head. "My back hurts..."

He nodded. "You want to try and teleport to our bed?"

"Y-Yes," she replied. Her mind was still reeling from the experience. "May I?"

He nuzzled her cheek. "I'll help."

The two horns glowed brightly, before the two lovers disappeared from sight, unaware that their guest had seen them.

She liked the scene, so much that she wanted a coltfriend. Hopefully she can call her future coltfriend her Love_Pounder™ too.