The Conversion Bureau - Purple Rain
Here is the prologue of, what I call, Purple Rain 2.0. I hope that you'll like it more than the older version. Also, this story will be continued when The Lost Brother will be finished.
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The Conversion Bureau : Purple Rain 2.0
Totally remade for your viewing pleasure
Prologue
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I was calm. Even with everything that had happened, I was calm. I looked at my hooves. I'd never been a fan of dark brown, but if I thought about it, it was actually perfect for me. My only problem wasn’t even being turn into a pony, it was trying to move with this new body. I had accepted the fact only a few minutes ago; that I was no longer human. Sure, the conversion bureau was going to open in a week’s time, making me the only converted in my area, but I kinda liked it. I lay on my bed, waiting for my roommate to wake up, I started to remember what had happened since the first time I heard about the conversion bureaus.
*****
This mess started around seven or eight months ago; it was another clear night, or something like that. It’s been years since we’ve been able to see anything in the sky. The light pollution caused by all the cities in North Americazone, especially near big cities like Quebec, Montreal or any city in the old USA, ruined the life of every astronomer. Here in Quebec city, we couldn’t see any stars; no more moon, only light. With all this artificial light, it was becoming hard to block them out. Sleeping in a room with a window often resulted in no sleep at all.
I was checking the light-polluted night sky, hoping for a chance to use my old telescope and astrology book. In it, there was a rare alignment of planets and suns that, according to other astronomers in less-lit cities, was beginning to form." I was so eager to see it, I had a crazy idea; I went inside and found an old set of electrical tools. One thing I’ve learned in life, is that it’s dangerous creating a short-circuit with a power outlet. It could overload and maybe even blow and destroy some circuit in the city’s power grid. This was my chance.
I took my electric screwdriver / electric saw and opened it. I took random wires and stuck them together with electrical tape. I hope that will work, I thought. I closed it back up and plugged it onto a socket on the wall. What happened made me happy. My house blacked out... as well as all my neighbors’ too. For once, everything was calm.
I returned to my balcony, took my telescope and looked through it. There was thousands of stars, all arranged in their constellations; one of them looked like a pot. I checked in my book and this constellation was called Ursa Minor. I went back to my book and checked the diagram of the star alignment, under the section labelled ‘divination with the stars’. I went, page by page, checking my telescope to see if it was happening. I noted all my discoveries on a loose sheet of paper.
I looked at my findings - the planets weren't aligned, much to my chagrin. But some of these constellations seemed to match up with some of the other omens in the book. I started noting the predictions on the paper. On it there was the words ‘One in a lifetime’ ‘New species’ ‘New friends’ ‘Conflicted emotions’. It... was starting to creep me out. I was impatient to see what it all meant. Suddenly, the lights returned. Looks like my astrology moment is finished. I took all my stuff back into the house, closed the light and went into my room located in the middle-left of the house. I lay on my bed, trying to stay awake to think about those omens, but I fell asleep faster than you could say “Astronomy”.
**
I woke up slowly, struggling to shake the grogginess of sleep. I got up and went through the same routine I had gone through for the last ten years; Breakfast, cleaning myself up and going to work. I was a musician in a restaurant. Even if, during the morning, slow music was better, I always like the nice heavy metal demand during the night.
I walked to ‘Gustave’s Musical Restaurant’. This name was so boring that, the first time I’d seen it, I was wondering why this place was so popular. I entered the room and put my case on the stage. In it, there was my electric guitar. A basic instrument, but with my personal touch; It was all black with red fireballs on it. It had cost me a lot of money, but it was worth it. I took a cleaning tissue and started cleaning it.
While I was moving the tissue back and forth on the guitar, the big flat screen Three-Vee on the opposite side of the room shouted : “BREAKING NEWS.” Everybody turned around to check it and I looked up to see what the news was.
“A new kind of radiation was discovered today by the scientist of the McGill university in North Amerizone. The radiation, called ‘Thaumatic’ radiation, is caused by the opening of a time-space rift. It appears to lead to another land called Equestria. This universe, governed by diarchy, is full of… colorful ponies.” I stared disbelievingly at the Three-Vee. Ponies? Seriously? I feel like somebody is high out there.
“Right now, as we speak; the main ruler, princess Celestia is doing a worldwide press conference. Let’s hear a bit of what she has to say.” Celestia, what kind of name is this? Wait, I forgot - we’re talking about ponies who are invading our world. Screw logic. The anchorman left his place to a new point of view.
It was happening in front of the White House, in Washington D.C. There was a huge crowd of people waiting in front of a stage. I wasn’t giving a flying bleep about the girl explaining the situation, I was only caring about the thing that was waiting in front of the microphone.
On the screen was a regal horse, with wings and a horn. Her hairs fluttered has if there was an invisible gust of wind infinitely blowing on them. She was pure white and had a tattoo on her butt of a sun. If her name is Celestia, It fits, I thought.
Behind her was, what looked like her younger sister, surely had the family horn and wings. She was the perfect clone of her sister except for her color scheme, which is composed of darker colors; the tattoo, this time, it was a moon, and her height. She was smaller in stature compared to the big white one.
Suddenly, the white monarch raised her right wing and everybody stopped talking. She moved her muzzle toward the micro and started talking:
“Greetings, humans. My name is Princess Celestia, but you may call me Celestia. I’m here to deliver an important message to all humans. Your world, or what is left of it, is dying.” This news report is starting to creep me out. Ponies are starting to creep me out.
“Pollution has turned your planet into a time bomb that can kill you at any moment. That’s why we are here. Our world, Equestria, is linked to this land. The ‘portal’ leading to our dimension appeared in the middle of your Pacific Ocean. The ‘portal’ is, in fact, a large sphere. It’s growing bigger with time and will cover the entire planet of its own accord, saving it at the same time.” At least we aren’t going to die.
“But, the bubble creates an energy called ‘Thaumatic radiation’. This entity that we call ‘magic’ is deadly to your kind.” I spoke too soon. “That means that our dimension will unfortunately kill you all.” I heard screaming coming out of the not-so-happy crowd. She held her hoof up in the air to emphasize her next sentence “but we have something to help you. Our unicorns, working together with the best scientist on the planet, are making a serum, or if you want, a magic potion. It will transform the DNA of the patient completely, turning the patient into an equine. He will lose all of his disease and problems. In other words, it will turn you into one of us.” This is just starting to creep me out.
“In exactly eight months, the first conversion bureau, where you’ll be able to undergo conversion, will open in Washington, New York City and in Paris. Later on, we’ll try to open more bureaus in different cities, allowing you to continue to survive. Only difference is the body form. This is the last thing I have to say. Bye and good luck everypo-, umm, I mean everybody.” She walked away, her hair flowing in the invisible breeze. Everybody started talking of what they just saw. Me, I just realised I was still rubbing my guitar. I put the tissue back and started to chord it.
**
The day went faster than a speeding bullet. So fast that I didn’t realize that it was night music time. My friend Zachery arrived around noon to play more guitar in the background. Zachary is a funny, quite crazy man. Later, Mary joined us. A redhead with green eyes, she may look weird almost all the time, but she is a god on the drums. Finally, Mike, our vocalist. He is a shy and mysterious person, but when you get to know him, he can be your best friend. Because of his awesome singing skills, he received the nickname of Mic.
By the time they all arrived, there was still two hours left until we had to start, so we started talking about all and nothing. We had no real conversation until Zach bring out the news.
“Hey, who heard of the ponies taking over the world?” He asked. I was surprised that he was able to tell this without apparent emotions. I rose my hand and said: “I do.” They all looked at me then at Zach.
“What are you both talking about?” Mary asked. Zach and I both looked at each other.
“Well, today on the news, they said that a new sentient race of equines from-” I started to say, but Mary stopped me.
“In english, not in nerd talk.” I grumbled under my breath and reformulated the sentence.
“On the news, there are talking ponies who are peacefully taking over the world.” Mary nodded.
“Creepy... what do you mean by ‘peacefully’ taking over?” She asked. How could I say this without looking like a completely negative man.
“They made some kind of magic potion that can turn you into one of them.” The crew went silent, suddenly until Zach stood up and spoke: “I don’t know, maybe it can be fun. And plus, it cannot be crappier that our life right now.”
I shook my head and said: “Only yours, friend.” I stood up and waited for our first client.
***
It was around 10pm and the restaurant was closing. I packed my guitar case and and counted my tip. I managed to get a good $50 of tip tonight. It sure was one of my best night. I walked to my car, but Zachery stopped me.
“What do you think about all this?” he asked. I motioned my ignorance and pushed him on the side to have access to my car’s door.
“I think that it’s an April fool.” I said while putting the keys into the keyhole.
“We are in June, April is passed.” he said back.
“Anyway, see you tomorrow, Zach.” I said while driving away toward my house, daydreaming about the crazy day i had.
***
It’s been a long time since I had something interesting in my life. Six month after hearing of the creation of the bureaus, something happened. At first, I didn’t cared, then, it was what changed my life.
It was a normal saturday; sitting on couch listening to three-vee. I was surfing through the channels with the help of my remote when I saw something interesting on the news. I stopped searching and started listening.
“Today, something terrible happened in the story of the conversion bureaus. The first complete batch of serum, developed by the team of scientists and unicorns was stolen.” Stolen? Who would like to steal that?
“The group who stole it is known as Anonymous Pontificators. We received a message from their group, containing a soundtrack. We’re going to put it now:
‘Don’t search for the potion, it’s too late. We, the Anonymous Ponificators are going to spread it all over the country. We are going to save the world, faster than ever.” The voice was heavily distorted to hide the original one.
If you have any information regard this case or a member of the group, please contact the authorities.” That’s all? They stole serum and send you a voice that tells you that they are going to spread something that nobody had even proved was real, I’m so scared. Even if it’s real, they’re only going to accelerate the unstoppable. Anyway, it’s not like it’s going to rain on us...
Right?