On the Origins of the Houses Sparkle and Armor
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Twilight Sparkle shouted, jumping up and down in excitement just outside her classroom at Celestia’s school. “This is going to be so exciting! Which story are you going to tell, Granny Sparkle? Your stories are always the best!”
Granny Sparkle chuckled softly. “Back in my day, we always kept that a secret until the story started.”
“Oh, come on,” Twilight begged, looking up with the best adorable filly face she knew. “You’ve been keeping me in suspense for weeks now.”
“And you shall just have to wait few minutes longer. Family Appreciation Day traditions are no joke; the whole day is more or less about tradition, after all.”
Humming in disappointment, Twilight eventually mumbled, “Fine…”
A minute later, the door opened, and a pegasus stallion walked out with Sweet Dreams, one of Twilight’s classmates, trailing slightly behind. After a brief hug, Sweet Dreams dashed back inside the room with all the force of a hurricane and all the grace of a three-legged ballerina.
Granny Sparkle watched her run back inside with a smile.
“Granny Sparkle?”
The stallion suppressed a cough as Granny Sparkle turned back in his and Twilight’s general direction. Twilight looked back to find him bowing slightly and shuffling from hoof to hoof.
“What is it, Twilight?”
Ignoring the stallion’s weird behavior as he turned to leave, Twilight asked, “Do you know Sweet Dreams?”
“No, I was just remembering something from when I was a filly your age.”
“You were a filly?”
Granny Sparkle cast a silencing spell so she could laugh as loudly as she wanted, much to Twilight’s indignity.
“Yes, I was a filly once. Everypony was a filly at one time or another. What, did you think I just congealed from the æther or something?”
“Well…” Twilight blushed and looked away. That might have been the case in some approximate sense.
“Anyway, we should be heading inside.”
“Huh?”
Twilight felt the silencing spell fade away as Granny Sparkle’s horn glowed. In its place was a near thunderous stomping of hooves. No doubt the two of them were expected inside.
Door open and halfway through it, Granny Sparkle turned back to Twilight and asked, “Coming?”
Nodding twice, Twilight skipped in right past Granny Sparkle and found the designated filly-sized seat for her at the front of the classroom. Granny Sparkle took the considerably larger chair next to her.
Twilight’s teacher, Miss Nex, said, “I’m sure everypony here already knows all about who you’ve brought in today – for many reasons–”
Trying to hide her blush, Twilight fidgeted in her chair, attempting in vain to somehow take up less space. She might – just might – have a tendency to get overexcited whenever Granny Sparkle was mentioned.
“–but why don’t you go ahead and introduce her anyway,” Miss Nex finished.
Nodding, Twilight said, “This is my Granny Sparkle. She’s the bestest pony–”
“Twilight,” Granny Sparkle interrupted, “you know it bugs me when you use the super-superlative.”
“But you deserve it!” Shirking under Granny Sparkle’s half-glare, half-eye roll, Twilight said, “Fine. She’s the best pony in the world, and she’s super, super nice. She even helps me with my magic and reads to me when I’m too tired to read myself.”
“Hmm… I suppose I could always tell the story of Miss Smartypants and the glass of milk.”
“No!” Twilight shrieked, eyes wide. “I…uh…I mean, no. Please don’t.”
“Oh, but you were so adorable when you–”
“Grannyyyyy!”
First chuckling, Granny Sparkle said, “Well, I suppose I could always tell the tragedy of House Twilight.”
“What, like a history lesson?” Blue Wizard, a colt in the audience, asked. He was quickly shushed by Miss Nex, and Twilight sent a glare his way, but Granny Sparkle just laughed the interruption off.
“Yes, I suppose so. For those of you not familiar with the story, our tale begins many centuries ago, when House Twilight was still a prominent member of the nobility. For what little that meant. Even in those times, being a noble really only gave you an interesting story to tell about your family history.
“Being royalty, on the other hoof, was a different matter entirely – just as it is today. And being royalty was at the root of the tragedy.”
Prose Myth, the only other bookworm in class and one of Twilight’s few friends, raised her hoof and waved it back and forth.
“Yes?”
“That’s not what our history book says.”
Twilight worked hard to look to Granny Sparkle instead of glaring at her friend. When it came to history, even Twilight had to admit books could be wrong, and Granny Sparkle could easily be pointed to as the leading expert on the history of their family.
Except perhaps for Princess Celestia.
“What does your history book say?” Granny Sparkle asked.
Twilight had no doubt that Prose Myth was quoting from memory when she said, “The division of House Twilight into the houses of Sparkle and Armor occurred when the two heirs apparent, Twilight Sparkle the Third and Twilight Armor, couldn’t decide who was legally allowed to inherit after the previous generation left the family.”
With much practiced patience, Granny Sparkle asked, “And why did the previous generation leave the family?”
“Because…I…don’t know.”
Twilight Sparkle, technically the Fourth, said, “Because they both entered the royal family.”
“Exactly,” Granny Sparkle said, embarrassingly rubbing Twilight’s mane – not that she was complaining. “It was a succession crisis, and there was much embarrassment all around when we failed to resolve it peacefully. You see, royals are ineligible to hold lesser noble titles. They are the ones that dispense those titles, after all. It would be a rather hollow honor to bestow upon oneself.”
A colt whose name Twilight did not know raised his hoof. “Why is everypony in House Twilight called ‘Twilight’?”
“Heh. That is not actually the case. The problem you are having is simple: sampling bias. Our family was a bit strange in that we exclusively inherited through the firstborn filly when possible, and that filly was traditionally named ‘Twilight’.”
Half-turning her head to look at Twilight, Granny Sparkle said, “This adorable little Twilight here is the first one to come out of either House Sparkle or House Armor since the incident.”
Twilight poked Granny Sparkle with a hoof, muttering, “Grannyyyyy.”
“Oh, you know it is true.”
Twilight just hummed angrily. Any other response was sure to result in more teasing.
“Anyway, not everypony in House Twilight is called ‘Twilight’, just the vast majority of the ones history books care to remember. Now as I was – yes?”
“Is this a love story?”
Twilight looked to Granny Sparkle out of the corner of her eye. She had nearly the exact same speechless expression Twilight had.
“Words to the effect of no,” Granny Sparkle replied. “This is the…the flip side of a love story: a hate story.”
“Oh, good.”
Granny Sparkle gave that colt the look. No doubt she was going to ‘have words’ with him later.
“Now back to what I was saying. When the first member of House Twilight married into royalty, there was no problem. After all, the heir apparent was…” After sighing, Granny Sparkle pointed to Bright Embers. “Yes?”
“Will you marry me?”
The entire room turned to stare at Bright Embers in utter silence.
“Is – is that a…yes?”
Recovering slowly, Granny Sparkle said, “I, uh…no. My apologies, but I must formally refuse your proposal. I tried marriage once, and it did not work out as well as I had hoped. All I have to show for it is a smaller version of myself and memories.”
“What about Mom and Dad?” Twilight asked.
“Who and who, now? I just cannot recall anypony who cannot take a single day off from their research projects to come to their daughter’s Family Appreciation Day.”
“Really?” Twilight asked, thoroughly convinced otherwise. “Because it sounds like you remember them pretty well.”
“I suppose…”
“And who was too busy in her research project to come to my birthday?”
“That is so not fair. I was in Saddle Arabia at the time.”
“Foals’ play.”
“If I had left, the experiment would have gone critical and destroyed half the city!”
“Excuses.”
Sighing, Granny Sparkle said, “Fine. I love your parents too. Happy?”
“Yes.”
Sighing again, Granny Sparkle asked, “Miss Nex, how much time do we still have?”
“Hmm? Oh, I’d say five minutes or so.”
“Excellent. In that case, our story properly begins roughly ten years into the feud. Despite everypony’s best efforts – well, everypony but Twilight Sparkle the Third–”
Without waiting to be called on, Melody asked, “Can we just call her Sparkle? It’s confusing.”
“Very well. Despite everypony’s except Sparkle’s and Twilight Armor’s best efforts, no solution to the problem was found. You see, both Sparkle and Twilight Armor had cobbled together roughly the same amount of legal ground to stand on when making their claim, and both of them were adamant that they should continue the family…line… Yes?”
Prose Myth asked, “Why couldn’t they just both be princesses? That’s how Princess Platinum’s line worked.”
“Well…that is true,” Granny Sparkle began, “but at the same time, you are entirely wrong. Equestrian royalty is not hereditary – not exactly. Ironically, it operates on a more…merit based system. Sort of. Without going into the details, Princess Platinum’s descendants – and other descendants of the proper royalty – are referred to as princes and princesses, but they are officially listed under the nobility.
“Sparkle and Twilight Armor were princesses in that sense, but that was not what either of them wanted. It was not the root of the problem.”
Twilight nearly scowled as another pony interrupted without raising his hoof. Ponies these days could be so rude.
“What did they want? I mean, why did they want to be the heir so badly?”
“Ah. That is an excellent question. There were a number of reasons, but ultimately, I believe it boiled down to two key ones. First, there was a certain magical…gift, shall we say, that was supposed to be passed down the family line.”
Twilight gulped at the memory. The transfer ritual was actually kind of scary.
Yet another interruption came, this time from Prose Myth of all ponies. “What was it?”
“I am afraid the exact details are a state secret.” Narrowing her gaze, the room growing noticeably darker, Granny Sparkle added, “And I will hear of it if any of you harass my dear little Twilight Sparkle about that.”
“I – uh – could you…not do that?” Miss Nex asked. “Please? You’re scaring the foals.”
The room returned to normal so quickly, if you blinked you would have missed it.
“Apologies. I merely have had to deal with such problems before, and it always turns into an ugly affair.”
Shaking her head, Granny Sparkle continued her story. “Anyway, the second reason Sparkle and Twilight Armor wanted to be the heir was… Well… I believe both of them just wanted to live up to the expectations placed upon them.”
This time, Melody waited to be called upon. “Couldn’t they have just shared?”
“No. No, unfortunately not.”
The school bell rang, and for the briefest of moments, Granny Sparkle looked like she had been saved from the most terrible of nightmares. Twilight suspected she was the only pony that had noticed.
“Perhaps we could continue your story after the weekend?” Miss Nex suggested.
“Yes, I believe I can find the time for that.” Granny Sparkle hastily added, “If it will not interrupt your regular lesson, that is.”
“Oh my, no. Of course not. Having a history lesson from a pony who was actually there is far better” – Miss Nex leaned in to whisper, “And between you and me, far more able to keep their attention,” before returning to her normal posture – “than reading out of a textbook. We could even make a series of it, if you wouldn’t mind.”
Granny Sparkle gave a faint smile and laugh. “I wish I could find the time to teach, but I must decline.”
“I understand. I’ll see you next week then.”
Nodding, Granny Sparkle rose to her hooves and stretched her wings and back. The fillies and colts leaving the classroom passed unharmed beneath her, although no small number stopped to stare or gape for a few moments.
“I feel like going for a quick flight before more business pulls me away.” Granny Sparkle turned to look at Twilight, a knowing smile on her face. “Would you like to ride along?”
Looking about the classroom to make sure all her friends had already left, Twilight jumped onto Granny Sparkle’s back and found a comfortable spot just in front of her wings. Hopefully this time she would not accidentally fall asleep.
Author's Note
No, this has no continuity with anything else I have written. It is just an idea I could not get out of my head.
And yes, feel free to hate me for giving you a somewhat incomplete complete story (as Harwick said, the fun of the story is figuring out who Granny Sparkle is). I might consider writing more when I have one or two fewer epics being written, but don't count on it.
