Swiggity Swoogity Swag Belle
Swiggity Swoogity Swaggity
"Now Discord, I don't want to hear you causing any trouble when I'm gone, okay?" Fluttershy asked, packing her bags for her holiday.
Discord sighed and took another bite of his paper sandwich. "Yes, Fluttershy. I promise."
"You're sure of that?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.
"Yes, of course I am. After all, what's a master of chaos without no chaos what so ever?" He sighed sarcasticly, before yelping. "I think I just got a papercut!"
Fluttershy sighed and opened her door. "Well, okay. Have fun, Discord?" She waved as she walked outside.
Right after she left, Discord clicked his fingers and appeared on the roof of her house, donning a red shirt with yellow flowers. Just has he was about to set off, he stopped in his tracks and sat down in a tree. "But....Maybe I should listen to Fluttershy....." His train of thought was interupted by some faint giggling in the distance. "Oh! I wonder what the girls are doing!"
As soon as Discord arrived at the scene, only Sweetie Belle was left. "Hello, Sweetie Belle! What are you doing on this fine day?" He asked, sitting down next to the small filly, wearing a tuxedo. "Want some tea?"
Sweetie Belle sighed and turned to Discord. "No thanks, Discord....."
Almost instantly, Discord realised something was wrong. "Why so glum, chum? Weren't you just playing with your little pony friends?"
"Well....Yeah....But..."
"But what?"
"I just dom't think I have enough coolness....."
As soon as Discord heard that, he instantly fell onto the floor, laughing his head off. Sweetie Belle turned to Discord to see his headless body laying on the ground as his nearby head continued laughing.
"Okay.....I've got a deal for you, Sweetie Belle." Discord chuckled, re-attaching his head and wiping away his tears. "I can give you the ultimate cool."
"What's that?"
"Swag." Discord said, slapping a pair of shades onto his snout. "It's what all the cool colts and fillies have."
"Okay, but in the end I'd better not end up being obsessed with boulders."
"Deal."
The last thing Sweetie Belle saw before she dropped to the floor was Discord pulling his shades off and flying away.
"Sweetie Belle! You're finally home!" Rarity cried as all nearby windows got small cracks in them. "Where have you been?"
The voice that answered her was unlike any other. It sounded so much like her sister but.....obnoxious.
"I've been with my homeboy, Discord. Now make me a snack, woman."
If Rarity was drinking anything she would have instantly spit it out. "Sweetie! How dare you use such foul language! Every mare knows being called a woman is a huge offence! Humans were nothing compared to us ponies! Nothing! That's why we won the great war!" Rarity cried, staring at her old war badges on the wall.
"As if I care. Hurry up before I unleash my rad powers." Sweetie scoffed, straightening her dollar chain.
"Sweetie! If I get you this snack, will you stop?!" Rarity screamed, her eyes nearly bulging out of her head.
"Yeah, I guess." Sweetie yawned. "But call me Swaggie Belle."
Rarity stood in shock for a few seconds before sighing and getting 'Swaggie' a snack. "I knew this would happen if she hit puberty!"
"Oh yeah, make sure you get some Mountain Dew. Shits tasty."
"SWEET- I mean -- SWAGGIE BELLE!!" Rarity yelled her face turning red. "Where did you learn that word?"
"Doesn't matter. If you don't bring the Dew to me now, I'll decrease the grammar of this story!"
"Swaggie Belle, wot do u mean? ..........WAIT WOT." Rarity cried as her words turned to mush. "fine!1!!1! you get teh drink!"
As soon as Rarity gave the pony her drink she felt her vocal cords return to normal. "Ah, thank Celelstia." She sighed, wiping away some sweat.
"......."
"Swaggie, please don't tell me it's expired...."
Two Weeks Later
"What's up, bitches!" Swaggie yelled as she slammed Rarity's door open.
Almost instantly, everyone in Ponyville turned to her.
"Is that her?"
"Swaggie Belle?"
"We need to hide!"
All the ponies ran off screaming, Applebloom and Scootaloo included.
"What's wrong? Can't handle my swaaaag!" Swaggie smiled, causing a nearby pony to scream in horror as the gleaming teeth burned her eyes with brightness.
"That's the fifth time this week!" She screamed, running off into a apple cart.
As if it wasn't obvious enough already, Swaggie had been causing the ponies quite a problem. The fact that she was like this.
"Twilight! Isn't there a way you can fix this?" Applejack cried as the screaming pony destroyed her apple cart.
"Well...we could use the Elements....." Twilight whispered as Swaggie ran around blinding ponies with her horrifying smile.
"Great! Perfect idea! Use it! Now!" Rarity screamed as she revealed a box she had placed behind her back. Inside, usefully enough, were the Elements. "Vanquish the curse upon her!"
"But Fluttershy isn't here...." As if on cue, Spike appeared right in front of Twilight.
"If I was Rainbow Dash, I can be Fluttershy!" She stated proudly, grabbing the necklace. "Let's ignore ALL logic!"
"Well, Okay.." Twilight whispered as all six of their necklaces started glowing. A stream of rainbow light instantly headed towards the filly.
She simply sighed and grabbed a small mirror out of her invisible pocket, putting it right in front of the laser.
"Watch out!!" Pinkie screamed as the rainbow beam landed back to them, sending them flying.
Rainbow Dash tumbled over a pony that was sitting at the train station. "Hey! Watch it! -- Wait, Fluttershy? You're back?"
"Well, yes. I just couldn't wait to see you again!" She cheerfully exclaimed. "Where are the girls?"
Rainbow scractched her head and awkwardly pointed at the destroyed town. "Well...."
"Oh.....My....."
Author's Note
Man this sucks. Oh well. :P
