You know something's wrong when you wake up on a dark morning in the middle of a soaking field in nothing but a red dress, with a pounding headache and numb feet. What was I doing there? I still don't know the reason. I thought "maybe I hit the bottle a little too hard last night", but that couldn't be it. Maybe I was still dreaming. Hallucinating. But that's not important. What is important was what happened just before; friday night.
The night before I came back from a long day at the secretary desk at the city dentist. That's my job, keep records and stuff. Anyway, I came home real tired, head actually hurting a little. I'd actually arranged to go to a little party for one of the workers at the dentist's so I slowly changed into a red dress, the most beautiful I had which was a satin and silky one. But, as soon as I start to put on make-up, I start to lose focus! My head was pounding like my brains wanted to burst free and my vision started blurring up real bad. Flopping on the bed, holding my head... I think I must have fallen asleep or something. Yeah, I must have, I started making very strange dreams or visions just after.
It started with me falling through the air down a huge tunnel, near pitch black all around. Suddenly, the walls started shifting and sliding around, changing colour and shape as I fell further and further: red, green, blue like a dance floor or disco.
And as I fell further down, the walls started pulsing and writhing like I was falling around inside someone's gullet! Out of these pulsing parts spewed what looked like musical notes. I tried to reach out and touch one, and my god did it make the most horrific sound! It was like a child screaming in agony or the weeping of thousands of suffering people. I just screwed my eyes shut as the sound became louder and louder, until it forced it's way in! And just as the sound reached the point where I thought my ears were going to self destruct to save me from insanity, the light vanished again. A few seconds later, I hit the ground with an almighty thud, face first into a wet patch of mud. After rolling over onto my back, I was looking at that dark morning sky, wondering "what the hell just happened?!"
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After a few moments of wondering the usual little things when you wake up in a field ("Where am I?","What am I doing here?" and "Oh god, how am I gonna get the mud out of this?!") I actually tried to think logically again by looking around to answer question one; the field was actually a wheat field, with the field itself streching maybe a hundred yards or so in all directions. Directly in front of where I was looking once I got up was another field, only this time, it looked to be an orchard of some kind, judging by the amount of trees. To the left of that was a small group of barns, and further left seemed to be a house with smoke coming from the little chimney. A wide grin appeared on my face; where there's smoke, there's fire, and that means there's people!
I didn't care that I was tresspassing, or that I hadn't answered the other two questions I had, or that I was covered in mud; I had to get to that house and find my way back home! Jogging at a brisk pace through the wheat field, I made my way towards the house. Strangely enough, the door opened up, as if expecting my arrival! Warily, I slowed my pace to a cautious walk so I could see who was in the doorway, then stopped altogether when I had a clear view.
An orangy-brown pony or horse had opened up the door, about to step out. Nothing unusual, I thought. I think it noticed me as soon as it stepped outside; it was staring at me, and I was staring back, but only in a curious way. Then I noticed it's clothes- just a hat, a cowgirl hat. I thought that was a little odd, and also noticed another odd thing; it was standing on all fours! Deciding to end the vortex of awkwardness that was opening up before us, I called out to it.
"Hey!"
I just wanted to break the ice just a little. I guessed that by the way the pony-horse had let out a long and terrfied "YYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" and then screamed "M-M-MONSTER!" before running back inside the house then slamming the door shut, I wasn't successful. I had to get some help so I could get back home, or at least find out where I was. Running up to the front door, I started knocking on it with my fist, trying to get her back out (it was probably a girl, the scream was pretty girly), but there was no response. Maybe after a minute, I gave up.
Pondering my next move, I decided not to waste any more time here. The farmland was connected to a main road so the obvious choice was to follow it back to a town. I think I must have walked no more than a few yards before I felt a massive "thwack!" on the back of my head. Alarmed, I looked around- nothing. No sign of anyone. I kept on walking, and unsurprisingly, "thwack!" again 3 seconds later!
"Who's there!" I angrily called out to my attacker.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS FARM DEFENDERS, ATTACK!"
I didn't see that one coming. And I definitely didn't see those three come up from behind either! With great force, I felt something collide with my back with great force, and before I could turn my head to see what, I was down on the floor, and before I could force it off, two more heavy things had my arms pinned!
"Victory!" shouted the thing on my left arm with trimumph.
"Yeah that was amazing, nice work everyone!" said the thing on my other arm gleefully.
"Wow, ah don' know what this thing is..." the one on my back said to it's allies.
I was very curious (but maybe it was more due to fury) to see just who had tried to capture me alive, so I started shouting loudly.
"What are you doing?! Who are you?!"
"Silence, foul fiend!" one shouted right in my ears.
"Yeah," another said rather meanacingly "we saw you try to break into Applejack's! You're not getting away!"
It quickly dawned on me that I'd have to take a more direct approach. I could still move my fingers and think clearly; more than enough for a little magical intervention. Focusing power into my left hand, I curled my fingers into a ball and lifted my hand from the road slightly. I felt sweet relief from my arm as the creature that pinned it down was now 6 feet off the ground! It seemed that the other two had noticed, as I could hear noises of surprise and terror as they watched their friend lift into the sky by magic! They started to back off slowly from my back and arm, and soon I was free to move around again.
I should have probably broken my spell before I started to dust myself off from the attack. My hand still glowed with magical energy which was busy throwing around the creature I had started to levitate. It screamed as it was flung around with great force, which finally caught my attention; I had actually started levitating another pony like the one I saw back at the house, only much smaller and this time it was a white colour, with a pink mane. Uncurling my fingers, the creature landed on the ground with a loud thud and moaned quietly. The other two had started running towards their friend and were shaking her: one was peachy coloured with a purple mane, the other was a pale yellow colour with a red mane.
"Sweetie Belle! You ok?" the peach pony frantically said.
The white one only responded with muffled moans. I guess I overdid it a little with the magic, but how else could I escape? But now that I was free, I faced a little conundrum- should I see if that pony is ok, or do I make a quick escape to avoid awkwardness. Guilt lead me to the former. Walking over to where she lay down, I started to examine her.
"Hey, get off her!" the peach one protested loudly.
"She's going to be ok, I was just a little too rough" I quickly responded "besides, it's what you get for attacking a complete stranger!"
"Well we don' want monsters come running into the fields, terrorisin' good folks!" the yellow pony shouted back.
"You two... stop... stop it, please!"
The white pony suddenly sprang up and dusted herself off.
"Sorry we attacked you, Miss Monster. We won't do it again" she apologetically said, lowering her head slightly. Miss Monster? I should have gotten real angry and scolded her some. But I felt kind of sorry for her; maybe it was the eyes, looking deep into my soul for a heart, as if monsters don't have hearts. Kneeling down, I gently spoke to her.
"Not Miss Monster. Miss Laura."
We stared eye to eye for a few moments. I think that's all I needed to find out she was for real, genuinely sorry. The other two didn't share her feelings, and started walking away gagging slightly at the mushy bonding going on. Finally, the connection broke as the litle white pony asked me if I wanted to come to breakfast. Naturally, I accepted- I didn't care if these ponies had tried to take me alive a few minutes before hand, breakfast is breakfast, especially when it's free! She had to ask her friends if it was ok with them, but I knew that would be a problem. I overheard them in a little group huddle.
"What are you, crazy?!"
"Yeah, Sweetie. She might devour us for breakfast!"
"Oh come on. It's an oversized bunny! What's it going to do to us?"
"Well, ah don't want it coming into our clubhouse! For starters it's all muddy!"
"Listen, we give it breakfast, we let it take a bath, it goes away, end of monster!"
There was a short silence between them all, before they all walked up to me smiling. Then the white one asked me what my name was again.
"Laura" I said back.
"Well Laura, I'm Sweetie Belle! And this is Scootaloo and over there is Apple Bloom," pointing to each pony as she recited their names. "Well, you must want a wash and breakfast, yes?" I nodded politely. "Good! Then follow us! We're headed back to our clubhouse." We set off on a little dirt track near one of the fields, which lead down a hill next to the orchard area.
I think that's the first time anyone ever offered me free breakfast and a wash without asking me for a favour in return.
It didn't take long for the four of us to get to the clubhouse, but to say these kids had made a clubhouse would be a massive understatement- a mini clubmansion was more like it! Although from the outside it looked like a fairly large treehouse, inside was fairly impressive, rivalling my small city apartment: a kitchen area, with messy dishes stacked up high to the ceiling, a meeting place, with lots of papers scattered all over a large round table, and even a little workshop, with scattered wood and nails about the floor. I'm sure it was everybodies dream to own a place like this as a kid- I know I was no exception back then.
I asked where I could get myself cleaned up, but apparently on-suite bathroom facilities were not included in the clubhouse (surprisingly). They pointed out the small stream that ran right next to the house, and they handed me a towel. It only took five minutes to freshen up and dry off. Now looking considerably cleaner (although now my dress was damp), I made may way back inside. The three ponies were all standing together, as if they just had another group huddle, but then broke up as soon as I re-entered the clubhouse.
"Just make yourself comfy!" Sweetie Belle called out while she made her way towards the kitchen. "You want a s'more? It's all we have left after last night."
I shrugged and sat on a small sofa near to the meeting place. A few seconds later, the pony had brought me a plate stacked with about 3 s'mores. How those kids still had teeth, I don't know... that thing was probably the sugariest thing I've ever bitten into. One of those s'mores would have probably given me a lethal dose of diabetes! Before I could take a second bite, the other two ponies had taken a seat either side of me. The yellow one called Apple Bloom started asking a few questions.
"So... are you really a monster? Or just a cursed pony gon' wanderin' around all confused 'cus she's a big bunny now?"
I resented those "bunny" remarks, but it was a step up from monster at least.
"Nope. Neither."
"So what exactly are you then?" she asked curiously. To be honest, there was no easy way to answer that question.
"I'm a hare who's just confused as to why I ended up all the way out here in this... strange place."
Scootaloo, the peach one, cut in with "Strange? This isn't anyplace strange. You're at Sweet Apple Acres!" That really didn't help matters much.
"Where's that?" I asked her.
"Oh, it's not far from Ponyville!" she replied. Not quite the answer I was looking for.
"And... where's that?"
"Oh, take a look at this!" She got up and walked over to the table at the meeting place. She pulled out something from under a stack of papers and showed it. On it was a map with a lot of contryside surrounding a small town called Ponyville. Sweet Apple Acres was just to the south, but there was no scale, so it could have been miles away for all I knew. "See, it's not too far away" she said to me, pointing at the town after I studied the map for a few seconds. I didn't recognise any locations on it, so I had to ask the three if they had any idea where Mewston* was.
"Uh... ah don' think a've heard of anyplace like that" said Apple Bloom with a puzzled expression.
Sweetie Belle chimed in. "Maybe someone else knows! We could go ask around in Ponyville!" I was pretty wary of this idea; if these three girls thought I was a monster when I first met them, what's to stop an entire town from thinking the same!
"Do you think that's a good..."
Scootaloo cut in "I'll fire up the scooter! We'll be there in no time!" The way she said that, you would have thought they wanted rid of me. Maybe they were scared of my magic?
"Just a second" I said. She stopped before she reached the door, and the other two ponies looked up at me. "You're not afraid of me, are you?"
"Afraid?" Sweetie asked me. "Why would we be afraid? You're a giant bun- er, hare. You seem harmless enough to us!"
"Really? You're not scared because of what I did before? With magic?" The three looked at each other for a few seconds, and then Sweetie turned and smiled at ne.
"To be honest, that was pretty cool what you did!" she replied excitedly. I think that's a second first I discovered that day; someone actually finding my magical abilites cool. Not wanting to waste anymore time, I left the clubhouse, prompting Scootaloo to get the scooter ready.
The scooter was actually impressive, much better than the "push around with your feet" ones you might have had as a kid. It was electric, for starters, and painted a brilliant, vibrant red with white "go faster" stripes on it. Hooked up to the back was a small trailer, large enough to fit a few people on, and inside were a few helmets. She grabbed one and asked all of us to do the same. Unfortunately, it was a little too small for my head, and my ears killed from being bent at a funny angle on the inside. In the end, I just took it off, and got inside the trailer after Sweetie and Apple Bloom. Once we were all in, Scootaloo revved the engine and the scooter took off at a jarringly fast speed that knocked me down! We turned the corner out of Sweet Apple Acres, and rode off into the countryside.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: BUNNY ESCORTERS, GO!"
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Being in the trailer on the long trip gave me a chance to ask a few questions I had for them.When I asked what kind of club they had, they told me that they were called "Cutie Mark Crusaders" looking for "Cutie Marks". That meant absolutely nothing to me, so it lead to more questions than straight answers. A cutie mark is, according to them, a special mark that you get on your "flank" (or butt, to put it bluntly) that symbolises what your special talent is. So far, they hadn't earned theirs yet, and they were working together to get one. How long had they been trying? They sighed "forever" in unison with great disappointment. After, they just entertained me with the misadventures they made for themselves: hangliding, abseiling, ultra-pony-roller-derby (whatever that was), the list went on and on! Whether they were being serious or not, I don't really know, but it seemed they had done almost anything and everything to get that mark.
We must have been riding around for at least a couple of hours before we hit a little snag. Driving around a short bend on top of a pretty steep hill, I lost balance, accidentally fell and slammed into the side of the trailer. Unfortunately for the kids, they didn't count on having to one day escort a large hare with their little scooter and trailer set, it it tipped over. Worse still, it started rolling over the edge of the hill and downwards! Tumbling around freely, smashing around on the walls and against Sweetie and Apple Bloom, all of us screaming in unison, I thought "maybe it wasn't a good idea to leave the helmet off after all." The bangs and bashes were deafening as we crashed down the hillside, and with an almight "boom!" we finally hit the bottom.
Clutching my head, I stepped out of the trailer to see where we were; we landed in a forested area below the hill, which was gloomy and cold from where I stood. I looked back to the trailer and saw that it was totally wrecked: dints, holes and a missing wheel. Suddenly, I spotted Scootaloo's scooter not too far away- it was smashed to pieces! Frantically, I searched for her to see where she might have gotten thrown off, but she emerged with ruffled hair from a nearby bush.
"WHAAAAAAT?! MY SCOOTER!" she screamed. She knelt over it, giving the most dramatic "NOOOOOOO!" you could imagine before burying her head into the seat of it. Behind me, Sweetie and Apple Bloom were emerging from the trailer, walking slightly off balance and groaning.
"Oh... the scooter..." they both whispered sadly. Looking up the hillside we fell down, we caused quite a lot of damage, cutting chunks out of the grass and taking out several bushes. Hey, I think we got the hill as good as it got us. We were standing around for several minutes as Scootaloo mourned the death of her pride and joy, before she finally got up and asked what we should do.
"Well, we can't lug that up the hill, it's too heavy" I answered "so we'll have to walk through the woods."
"Hey... I've got it! I saw a campfire coming from here! There has to be campers in these woods!" she shouted hopefully. She seemed to get over her loss pretty easily, as if this was an everyday occurence or something.
"Well that jus' settles it then" Apple Bloom ordered "we're goin' to find those campers!" Before I could get a word in to object, they were off, pushing the scooter with them. I thought that I should remind them about the trailer, but whatever, I had more important things to deal with. We were going into a forest without knowing where we are or who's in here, but at the end of the day, I think my brain just resigned to the attitude "what could possibly go wrong?" and ordered me to trust in their headstrongedness.
Sure enough, we found the camp that Scootaloo claimed she spotted. But when we got there, it was eerily quiet. Silent. The campfire was still going, so there had to be someone nearby. I shouted out... no response. Cautiously, I walked further in, telling the girls to stay away. There was a lone tent near the fire, and two poles with some laundry hanging from it. For some wierd reason, I went for the laundry first. It was nice and dry from the fire and, unfurling it, it appeared to be some kind of cape patterned with stars on a purple background. Then I spotted a hat on top of one of the poles. Oddly, it was a wizard hat, like the kind you see nerds wearing when they play their little fantasy games. There were patterns on this hat too, identical to the ones on the cape. I tried picking it up off the pole.
"WHO DARES TO STEAL FROM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE?!" a deafenly loud voice boomed out of the woods. My heart froze in shock as I released my grip and bolted from the camp! But the voice started laughing in a mocking way. "YOU CANNOT RUN, THIEF!" it exploded, and I felt my feet catch on something. Falling, I frantically looked around for the fearsome voice and couldn't see anyone. Suddenly, I felt someone wrap around my legs and looked down... a rope! Desperately trying to wriggle free, I pleaded with the voice to let me go, but it just kept laughing and laughing. The rope finally stopped moving as it made a powerful knot around my legs, binding them together. I lay down, panicking from the surprise attack, and tried to watch from all angles to see if I could spot the attacker. Several quiet seconds passed before I heard a rustle come from behind me, and, trying to flop over onto my back to get a clear view, I saw something emerge from a bush.
It was another pony. A unicorn to be more specific. It was a beautiful azure blue with a long silver mane, and had sparkling purple eyes. I could see that "cutie mark" too, a wand with sparks shooting out of it. For a menacing and terrifying enemy, she looked pretty harmless. I saw her emerge first with an expression of triumph, then one of sheer bewilderment. She looked at her prize catch as if it were a monkey on a pogo stick juggling five burning chainsaws while wearing a tutu (I don't know, it's the wierdest thing I can think of!). She stared at me for several seconds, before finally speaking.
"Ugh, what is THAT?!" she snorted in disgust. I wasn't expecting that at all! "Here I am, trying to defend my campsite from ne'er-do-wells and all of a sudden, I catch a gigantic rabbit!" She turned away in a huff, as if disappointed in her fantastic efforts to scare people away. I had to talk my way out of this.
"Look, I don't know anything about ne'er-do-wells, but..."
"Oh, and it speaks!" she giggled. Then she quickly shifted back into contempt. "Trixie is amused, but certainatly not impressed. Someone obviously turned you giant to terrorize me! But did they count on my magic? Hah! The great and powerful Trixie, proving she is best in Equestria once again!" Magic! How could I forget? I still had my hands free, so I could still escape! This time, focusing power into my fingertips, I moved them around, trying to undo the powerful knot she placed on me. It only took a matter of seconds and some fast finger wiggles until it eventually came free right before her eyes! Shocked, she broke out into a bullbering stream of stammers as I got up. Looking into her eyes, I let out a smug smile to put her in her place; I think that just made her angry, actually.
"WHAAAAAT?! M-m-m-magic?! No, no, no, no, no! I'm not being defeated yet again!" she started bawling. "I'll show you! This is real magic!" her unicorn horn started to glow furiously as if she was storing magical power. I had to ready myself, so I concentrated all my power into the two fists I was clenching, ready to counter. But then I heard shouting to my side.
"Stop it you two!"
"You're goin' on like two silly fillies!"
"Quit fighting before you hurt yourselfs!"
We both stopped and faced the interveners. It was Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, all with frightened looks on their faces. I looked back at the unicorn, and she did the same to me. After several intense seconds of staring down each other, she backed down and sighed.
"Very well. But know this, intruders..."
Scootaloo cut in once again. "Oh we're sorry if we intruded, but we need your help." The unicorn looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "You see, we crashed off the main road and totalled my scooter. We need to get back to Ponyville to repair it. Care to help us get back?"
"Get BACK?!" she shouted, alarmed at the very thought by the sounds of it. "I can't go back there! Did you see how they kicked Trixie out like that?! The nerve of them... having the gall to call me liar-". She suddenly stopped her rant and recomposed herself. "Uhh... I mean... Trixie would love to help three sweet children like all of you, but I have other matters to attend to... important... things..." I saw the faces of the three droop in despair, so I asked for directions to Ponyville. "Wait, you're leaving? Now?! But it's getting dark out! Nightime!" I looked up in the sky and saw the sun was high and bright; still clearly midday, maybe 2pm at the latest.
"Really? Well, we'll just have to hurry then" I said to her. But she insisted that we stay for a while. When I asked why, she claimed she was lonely.
"I need someone to keep me company for tonight, and since it's getting dark and I have extra tents, stay a spell!" she giggled slightly at her own little remark (I got it, but I didn't laugh...). The crusader kids obviously had no qualms with this, as the sat around the campfire getting warm. Trixie smiled at them like a motherly figure and walked into her own tent, emerging again with some bags. Using her magic, she got them all set up in about 5 seconds (impressive) and each of the children all called dibs on a tent for the night.
I wasn't convinced about Trixie's sudden gesture of kindness. The fact that it was still broad daylight, and that she was all too eager to have our company after our little fight, made me extremely suspicious. I wanted to find out what she was really up to. Soon enough, I learned what she was doing... and what she had done.
-TBC-
*If you can honestly think of a better city name with an animal pun, I'd love to hear it! Yeah, I'm ashamed of Mewston (ugh) but I suck at making puns.
