Silver Spoon never thought of herself as a silly pony. She never dressed up as a clown, she never wore stupid hats, and she never bucked apples in her life. She was not a silly pony, for she always studied for her test and got perfect scores. Do silly ponies get perfect scores? Just looking at Apple Bloom’s older sister struggling to do simple math equations gave her the answer she was looking for: No. Silly ponies do not get perfect scores on tests.
And yet, for some unexplainable reason, she found herself feeling rather silly. Here she was, sitting on a throne made of cardboard boxes, apple juice in one hoof, and a scepter in another, watching on as Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo battled with toothpicks that were stuck up their noses for dominance.
Why am I watching this? she would ask herself. She answered her own question as she burst into a fit of laughter as Sweetie Belle sneezed, causing her snot covered toothpicks to launch into Scootaloo’s mane.
“Ew! Sweetie!” Scootaloo wined as she tried desperately to remove the snot-covered toothpicks.
“S-sorry, Scoots,” Sweetie Belle apologized. She trotted towards her friend, a look of concern adorning her face as she tried to remove the toothpicks from Scootaloo’s mane, when realization struck her. “Wait! Does this mean I win?!” she gasped, looking towards Silver Spoon for answers.
“Hmm....” Silver Spoon brought a hoof to her chin in thought. Scootaloo did break character, so it was only right for her to lose. Then again, Sweetie lost her toothpicks, and therefore would fall to predators in the jungle if she were a wild animal.
“Well, did I?!” Sweetie asked again, annoying Silver Spoon slightly. Nopony annoys Silver Spoon. Not anymore.
With a sadistic smirk, Silver Spoon opened her mouth to answer. “No. You both lose!”
“What?!” the two fillies shouted in indignation. Silver Spoon chuckled as the two fillies glared at her, neither one of them brave enough to defy her. They knew what happens to those who defy her.
“Now, get over here for your punishment!” Silver Spoon cackled. The two fillies looked at each other dejectedly, before sighing. The two of them slowly trotted over to Silver Spoon until they were mere inches away from their Queen’s hooves. With a devious smirk, Silver Spoon watched as both fillies opened their mouths, tongues hanging out as they began licking her hooves. Her perfect, delicate hooves.
It was good to be the Supreme Spoon Overlord.
To say Diamond Tiara was disgusted was an understatement. She was currently hiding in the bushes, awaiting her moment to strike, when all of a sudden Silver Spoon ordered two of the blank flanks to slobber all over her hooves. She knew Silver Spoon was a sick, demented freak, but she never imagined her former friend would want to do that! It was like watching a dog lick it’s own genitals; it just wasn’t right to watch.
And yet, I have no choice, Diamond Tiara thought with disgust. She had to stay vigilant, bide her time. If she struck too soon, then all would be lost. If Silver Spoon had even a moment to react to Diamond Tiara’s attack, she would use it to put a stop to Diamond’s plans, and would enslave her. Then she would be in Sweetie’s and Scootaloo’s situation, slobbering all over Silver Spoon’s hooves, licking the disgusting dirt off as if she was Silver’s own personal shower.
Now, if it was Princess Twilight or Luna, then maybe she would do it, but Silver Spoon? She wasn’t even a real overlord! All she did was take over the school’s swing set, and all of a sudden everypony was willing to do anything for her!
Pathetic, Diamond Tiara thought with disgust. Diamond Tiara continued to survey the land, spotting Silver Spoon’s various guards. There was Truffle Shuffle, who would pose little threat, he was too concentrated on his licorice.
She spotted Rumble not too far away from her bush. He was currently looking at his own reflection in a mirror. Silver Spoon cared little for the dumb colt, so disposing him was unlikely to rouse suspicion. Heck, Silver Spoon would probably think Diamond was on her side!
Now, all to do was figure out how to dispose of him. Pull him into the bush and slit his throat? Nah, too bloody. She could snap his neck instead, but the noise might arouse suspicion. Seeing as how those were the only two ways to kill him, Diamond Tiara decided to forgo that plan...for now.
Instead, she simply picked up a rock and lobbed it at Rumble’s head, knocking the idiot out. A couple of ponies looked over to him to see what’s wrong, but after deciding they wanted nothing to do with Rumble, they turned away and continued guarding Silver Spoon oh so vigilantly.
Morons, the lot of them, but that just made her job easier. Now that Rumble was out of the way, Silver Spoon was wide open for an attack from behind. All Diamond Tiara had to do was come up with a plan. Diamond Tiara was wearing a tiara that had a sharp diamonds, so she might be able to slit Silver Spoon’s throat, but that would spill blood all over the place, and Diamond Tiara didn’t feel like taking a bath later. She could snap Silver’s neck, but that death was being saved for Rumble. That only left her with one option: choking Silver Spoon with her own pearl necklace.
Now with a brilliant plan that clearly had absolutely zero repercussions, Diamond Tiara slowly made her way out of the bush, intent on ending Silver Spoon’s tyranny once and for-
“Come on, Everypony! Recess is over!” Cheerilee called out, before blowing her whistle, causing all the fillies and colts to groan.
“What?! But I barely had anytime to rule with an iron hoof!” Silver Spoon whined. Grumbling to herself like a baby deprived of it’s pacifier, Silver Spoon trotted off with everypony back into the school building.
Diamond Tiara, however, said nothing as she trailed behind everypony else, choosing for once to silently fume.
“Why is it whenever I decide to kill somepony, something gets in my way?” she asked herself, before Apple Bloom quickly came over and kissed her on the lips. Though shocked at first, Diamond Tiara leaned into the kiss passionately.
Author's Note
And you all thought my other stories had unwanted surprise DiamondBloom, you silly geese!
