What the flip?

by The Darling Cookie

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 2567

Emperor Short Flip, a penguin with an undying thirst for world domination, finds himself in a land of magical talking ponies whom attempt to convert him to the ways of friendship and harmony!

Emperor Short Flip has been conspiring for a long time to conquer the Earth, and with it all those pesky humans. He amasses a huge penguin army, led by the finest Elite Penguin soldiers the Antarctica can provide. However his grand plans for world domination are cut short as the ice begins to start melting extremely fast in the Antarctic, as a result to a devious counter-plan developed by humans known as "Global Warming". With the survival of his species on the line and his thirst for conquering unquenched, Emperor Short Flip and his top general decide to use an experimental travel portal and find themselves and the rest of the penguins in a land of magical talking ponies. Can Emperor Short Flip convert to the ways of friendship and harmony? Or will his undying thirst for world domination destroy any hopes of friendship forever? Read to find out!

Written by me The Daring Cookie, (aka Mydarkcookie), cover art by xfkirsten from Deviantart.

Published 2014-10-09 00:20:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-09 00:20:09 UTC

What the flip?

There were 3 penguins standing in extremely white snow, completely unaffected by the harsh winds scathing their bodies & the snow flurries constantly blasting their faces. To any human who could observe them in these harsh conditions, these penguins would seem to just be normal penguins. That could not be anymore wrong, one of the penguins stepping forward & speaking out loud to prove it.

“General Flopper, have the troops been informed?” asked the penguin who had stepped forward.

A smaller penguin to his left nodded, swinging his flipper up in a salute.

“Yes Emperor Short Flip, the troops have been prepared as requested!”

Emperor Short Flip laughed in a slightly maniacal manner, brining both of his flippers behind his back in a much disciplined style.

“Good..very good General. I am most-“

But before Emperor Short Flip could finish his sentence, a penguin belly-flopping in the distance screamed out loud, attempting to get the attention of the three penguins.

“Who dares interrupt Emperor Short Flip!? I shall have them executed!”

The belly flopping penguin finally slid over to the three penguins, clearly exhausted & out of breath. Emperor Short Flip glared down at the puny penguin, pressing his claw down on the penguin.

“Explain your pitiful presence! Now!” Emperor Short Flip hollered, exerting more pressure on the grounded penguin.

The penguin on the floor caught his breath, speaking as soon as he could.

“Oh great Emperor spare my insignificant life but I bring terrible news.”

“Well, what is it? Spit it out. Spit it out!” Emperor Short Flip shouted out loud hysterically.

“Sector A, B, C, & D have all broken away. I’m afraid to say this but our land is literally melting. The humans have launched a counterplan known as “Global Warming”, which has devastated our infrastructure and means of living.”

Emperor Short Flip’s eyes widen so much that his dark head almost became white.

“No! No! NO! NO! Those damn humans! THEY SHALL PAY!! WE WILL CONQUER THEMMM!” Emperor Short Flip yelled psychotically, stepping off the penguin on the ground and flailing his flippers around crazily, his eyes almost bulging out of his sockets.

Emperor Short Flip’s military advisors on both of his sides looked at him with confusion, as their great and magnificent leader literally lost it for a while, something the Emperor rarely shows.

“How did they know? HOW DID THEY KNOW!!!!?? WHAT THE FLIPPP!” The Emperor kept shouting above the wind, screeching to himself in a fit of rage and hissing.

General Flopper and the other two penguins looked upon the Emperor, their dubiousness undeniable in his questionable leadership.

“General Flopper you must realize the Emperor is mad! We cannot conquer the entire human race! Not by ourselves anyways.” Said the other general standing next to General Flopper.

General Flopper looked over to the other general, giving him a look of repugnance as if he was insulted.

“How dare you question the undeniable might of our species! It doesn’t matter if we are outnumbered because we will always be mightier than any pitiful human. You must be a human spy, which is why you are saying these treacherous things! You know what that means General Furry, I must eliminate you because you are a threat to the Emperor..”

General Furry looked back at General Flopper in horror as General Flopper brought up his laser pistol and without hesitation, fired immediately, the red laser burning a massive hole in General Furry’s former head. The penguin on the ground looked at General Flopper with utmost horror, shocked at how ruthless General Flopper was.

“You’re next if we don’t start planning to save the others. Get up Private.”

The Private nodded and got up, making sure not to maintain eye contact with the General.

“Private, get the other army groups. Well the ones that survived anyway. Get them prepped and ready; we’re going to initiate Operation PORTALZ.”

“Operation PORTALZ? I thought that was only experimental! The travel portal hasn’t even been fully constru-“

“Are you questioning orders Private!?”

“No sir!”

“Then what are you waiting for? Dismissed!”

The Private nodded his head, belly-flopping to the north in order to alert the rest of the army. General Flopper looked back at the inanimate General Furry and scoffed, kicking his dead body over, blasting his dead body once more for effect and letting the snow build up around the body. General Flopper looked at the Emperor, who was spinning in circles and yelling at himself.

“Well, time to get the Emperor back.”

General Flopper waddled over to the Emperor, smacking him in the head with his flipper. The Emperor almost toppled over, stumbling back in shock and disbelief that his most trusted general had just struck him.

“How DARE YOU GENERAL FLOPPER!? I SHALL HAVE YOU HANGED!”

“Well he’s back. Kinda of.” The general said to himself, almost even laughing at the Emperor’s silly reaction.

Emperor Short Flip’s face became red as he commanded General Flopper to evacuate him immediately. General Flopper did, the both of them heading towards where the Private had gone earlier towards the igloo station in order to use the travel portal. Eventually they arrived at the igloo station, the Emperor waddling right in front of General Flopper and booming his voice at the troops awaiting.

“Alright my fellow penguins, world domination will have to wait. At least for humans anyways. Today we find ourselves in a crisis and our home will be destroyed. However-“ the Emperor boomed, holding his voice in a high note. “We will take what is ours, and that is land, more land for the penguin species!” He finished, flipping his flipper up in an aggressive manner.

The igloo station became overwhelmed in the roars of the troops, all of them raising their flippers in admiration in the somewhat inspiring words from Emperor Short Flip.

“We must be ready to face whatever can be on the other side of that portal, no matter how dangerous, awful or just downright horrible it can be. Remember, you are fighting for your brothers and sisters, for your families and for your EMPEROR!!”

All the troops chanted the Emperor’s name excitedly, eagerly forming themselves in organized lines which were all ready to jump into the portal. A penguin wearing glasses waddled over to the portal, turning the machine on and gesturing for the penguin soldiers to jump in. Without hesitation, nearly the entire army jumped into the portal at the same time, with the Emperor and General Flopper following right behind. Pretty soon the igloo station was empty, with no penguin in sight at all, the snow flowing in and covering the shrinking portal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Twi, I think I see something over here!”

Twilight Sparkle looked over to Rainbow Dash, whom was pointing at a distant fire. Twilight Sparkle squinted at the sight, noticing what appeared to be life forms moving in the distance.

“ALIENS? Is it aliens? Hehe” Pinkie Pie giggled, almost burping in her excitement.

A tan earth pony nearby rolled her eyes at the pink pony’s comment.

“Nah it ain’t aliens, you’re silly Pinkie. It’s probably just changelings or something like that.”

“Changelings? Oh my Celestia I hope that isn’t what they are!” a white unicorn sighed.

“I d-don’t think so Rarity. Mmm..may-maybe they’re f-friends” a cream yellow pegasus stuttered.

“Fluttershy is right, they’re probably just lost and need us, the Elements of Harmony, to help them out” Twilight Sparkle said, smiling at the shy pegasus.

The other 5 ponies looked at Twilight Sparkle in agreement, all of them nodding their heads collectively.

“Ok well it’s settled, they’re friends and it is our duty as the Elements of Harmony to welcome them!”

The other 5 ponies smiled at Twilight Sparkle as Rainbow Dash jumped in front of her.

“Oooo…I wanna say hi first to them! Can I Twi, can I??” Rainbow Dash desperately asked.

Twilight Sparkle chuckled and nodded her head, giving Rainbow Dash permission to say hi before the rest of the mane 6 caught up to her and the new “friends”.

“Yay! Thanks Twi!” Rainbow Dash yelled excitedly, taking off as fast as she could, flying over to the new “friends” on the other side of the field.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PHLOOOM! PHLOOOM! PHLOOOM!

General Flopper opened his eyes, rubbing his head in pain, awakening from the familiar sound of laser pistols going off. Immediately General Flopper realized that the penguins weren't on Earth anymore because the dimension they were in seemed too bright to be that of Earth, and on another note, even cartoonish. General Flopper slowly got up, wincing in pain and waddled over to Emperor Short Flip, whom was already up and attempting to organize the disoriented troops. He seemed to be doing a poor job because no matter how much he screamed at them crazily, the troops just did whatever they wanted such as randomly firing their laser rifles and pistols at the ground and sky.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE ELITE PENGUIN SOLDIERS! YOU FOOLS, WE ARE IN A NEW WORLD! UGGGH!” Emperor Short Flip yelled at the top of his lungs, waiving his flipper around.

The formally motivated soldiers ignored the Emperor, doing whatever they wanted to do.

“no no No NO NO!” Emperor Short Flip screamed, slamming his claw down on the grassy field with each no as a laser blast bured a massive hole in a patch of grass near his claw, the sizzling of the grass clearly audible as the grass caught fire.

General Flopper was about to say something to the Emperor but a voice interrupted what he was going to say.

“Hiya there! Welcome to Equestria friends!!”

“What the flip is THAT? OH MY BEAK!!! WHAT THE BEAK!?” yelled a soldier in horror.

A flying creature landed in front of the penguins, resembling an Earth horse in a way but had wings of blue, just like its fur and a mane of rainbow. The small horse, or rather pony smiled at the penguins, displaying rather friendly gestures towards the penguins.

“Hii! I’m Rainbow Dash hehe. What are your names?” the female pony said, looking specifically at the Emperor and his general.

Emperor Short Flip waddled forward, taking in a huge breath and sticking out his chest in a peacock fashion.

“I am the great Emperor Short Flip, whose-“

However Emperor Short Flip stopped talking, due to the pony laughing to herself.

“What is so funny?” Emperor Short Flip demanded to know.

“What kind of name is Short Flip? Is it because you’re short? Awhh hehehe” Rainbow Dash giggled.

Emperor Short Flip’s face became super red as he threw up both of his flippers in rage.

“HOW DARE YOU INSULT I, THE GREAT-“

“And short..bahaha!”

Emperor Short Flip began breathing rather deeply and rapidly, angry at how the pony insulted his most graceful name.

“Sir I would like to let you know you aren’t short, just stout is all.” General Flopper said to Emperor Short Flip.

Emperor Short Flip looked over to General Flopper slowly and rather dramatically, glaring at him intensely.

“Stout eh? That’s how you’re going to look after I’m DONE WITH YOU GENERAL!!! AHHHH!”

Emperor Short Flip brought out his laser gun, setting it to automatic fire and pointed it at the general but was interrupted by the arrival of the rest of the mane 6.

“Hi there, we’re the Elements of Harmony. I see you already met Rainbow Dash. Well I’m Twilight Sparkle.” A purple pony said to the group of penguins.

With his gun still drawn and pointed at the general, the Emperor looked over to the rest of the mane 6, completely disturbed at how cartoonish and girly they looked and even scowled at the ponies with disgust.

“We just wanted to let you know we’re all friends here because friendship is magic!” Twilight Sparkle said, smiling at the penguins.

“Friendship? What is this foreign concept you dictate to me?” the Emperor defiantly said, almost spitting at Twilight Sparkle.

“Well it starts with getting to know the other’s name. What’s your name?”

“I am the great and powerful Emperor Short Flip! All will bow down to my greatness and humbleness.” The Emperor repiled with such emphasis.

“If they are able to because you’re soo short” Rainbow Dash remarked on the side.

“OK THAT IS IT YOU LITTLE TWERP!”

Emperor Short Flip or rather Short Temper brought his gun around, pointing it at the rainbow-colored pony. Twilight Sparkle knew that the Emperor was holding a deadly weapon and decided to use her words first before using defensive magic.

“Nice to meet you Emperor Short Flip but it is not nice to point guns at others. Where we come from we don’t do that when we meet new ponies.”

“I don’t care because I’m going to conquer this planet anyways. She will matter no more once the penguin species has dominated this world! Muahahaha!”

Twilight Sparkle decided to use this opportunity to try to persuade the Emperor to not conquer the world by force, but by friendship.

“Oh yeah you can conquer this world, but with friendship! No one will be able to resist your power and friendliness!”

The Emperor looked back at Twilight Sparkle with a look of curiosity and even lowered his laser pistol a little.

“World domination…with friendship?” He asked, as if he was a baby penguin asking for permission to eat candy.

“Oh yes and it’s quite magnificent; no pony has been spared by us, the overwhelmingly friendly Elements of Harmony! AHAHAH!” Twilight Sparkle yelled in a slightly hysterical manner.

The Emperor looked at Twilight Sparkle with such interest, speaking right away and holstering his weapon.

“Oh yes, world domination with friendship sounds…inevitable. No matter what happens, there will be no one who will be able to escape my wrath of cuddles and hugs! Let the age of friendship began! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!”

The troops behind the Emperor all cheered, excited for the domination of the planet with happiness and firing their laser rifles at the sky in excitement.

“Yes, YES! We will help you Twilight Sparkle in the domination of this planet! NO ONE WILL BE WITHOUT A HUG, EVER!”

But, there was one penguin who didn't feel the same way as the rest. General Flopper looked at the Emperor with slight disgust and confusion, completely surprised at the transformation of the Emperor and in denial of his most graceful leader's change.

“You’re not the Emperor I knew!!” the General yelled at the top of his lungs, pulling out his laser pistol in order to shoot the Emperor

But before General Flopper could fire, Twilight Sparkle's horn glowed as she used her magic and threw the pistol from his hand, throwing General Flopper off balance and causing him to fall back into the already dying portal.

“NOOOOOOOOoooooooo!” The general yelled, his voice becoming distant and small as he slipped into the interdimensional portal.

Emperor Short Flip finally closed the portal himself, sealing the fate of himself and his most loyal troops and that of General Flopper.

“Let us began our domination of the world right now Twilight Sparkle! Muahaha!”

Emperor Short Flip and his troops waddled over to the ponies, all of them hugging the Elements of Harmony with such affection and friendliness. Twilight Sparkle and the Emperor both laughed, holding hoof and flipper together as they went together, using friendship to help all and any pony in need.