Oh, hello there! I didn't hear you come in. Lots of noise nowadays, what with the mutant squirrels and the ever flowing upside down waterfalls. Well, I suppose I'm mostly at fault for that. Anyways, what can I help you with? Why am I doing this? Ah, well that's an excellent question, and it deserves an excellent response: Because I can. I am the Spirit of Chaos! I am the Source of All Disorder! I've weaved nonsense since the dawn of time and shall continue the eccentric dance of confusion for the rest of eternity! And it's all simply because I can. You see, dear child, I am Discord and you will bow to me.
Oh now don't start crying. Nothing is more pathetic than sorrowful tears. It's nothing personal, honestly. You see this? This wonderful land packed to the brim with it's lack of sense? This is what makes me happy. This is how I find comfort in your sick orderly world. How is it you live day in and day out doing nothing but recycling the same tedious routines? I suppose one wouldn't even call that living. Monotony has drained your world of its once beautiful nature. A world of change, and wonder, and overstuffed with the glory of the unknown, destroyed by your hooves. You've all grown so comfortable in your little organized reality, and it sickens me.
You can point your hoof at me and scream "Evil!" until your throat starts to bleed. You can protest and complain until you have an army larger than Equestria could even support. You can strike me down where I stand and none of it will make a difference. I am not evil. I am the natural order of the world. I've existed before rules and order and law. My shadow has been cast across Equestria since the planet was still in its diapers. Your own squabble and aimless disharmony gave me shape. The world is chaotic and needed a mouth to share it's words and a hand to spread its wrath. The world will turn on you, flipping inside out before your very eyes just as I have done. But you won't dare call your home evil. No, just me. But I've done nothing your world wouldn't do on its own. I've merely given it personification. Your rules and laws couldn't save you from the natural chaos of the world and voila, here I am.
The disharmony amongst you all is strong, and it shall keep my spirit going for millenniums to come. To put simply, your hanging yourselves and I'm just providing the rope. I am not some cruel tyrant or wicked deity. I am you. I am the rage, the disorder, the mindless babble that stalks the darkest recesses of your mind. I am Discord, and I'm gonna be sticking around for a long long time.
