-Valentino Brugato – Private Record-

So Twilight had obviously made her friends aware of what was going on with me and why we were gone for a couple of days. The first pony I saw after we got back was Rainbow Dash who seemed pretty worried until she caught sight of me. When she did see me she put on a tough face and acted playfully.

"How ya doin' Val?" Rainbow asked with a smile on her face.

"Better than ever," I said far more sarcastically than I intended to.

Twilight explained exactly what happened to Rainbow Dash and that I was a bit uncomfortable about the whole magic thing. Rainbow Dash thought it was really cool that I was on team magic and I continued to be sarcastic about it.

We didn't tell her about Cronus.

That night to my surprise the spare bed in Twilight's room was gone and she still insisted that I sleep with her. Sharing the one bed in the castle guest room made some sense but with another bed available it almost seemed like it was going a bit far. Spike was in his bed and was looking at me while he was trying to hold back his laughter which also made me hesitate. But there might have been a culture gap there, he was a spiny dragon after all so maybe he didn't quite mesh with the cuddle culture of pony friends.

Also having big warm teddy bear Twilight was nice so I just went along with it.

The next day Fluttershy came by to check on me. She seemed very relieved to see me doing well and was the only one to really pick up on or sympathize with my magic anxiety. When Fluttershy tried to reassure me for some reason I actually felt a little better about it. Maybe it's because she did understand a little or maybe trusting her was easier since everything that happened when I first came here.

Also I should probably make a note here because I need to add Fluttershy to my list of pony snuggle friends. She is way too cute.

Fluttershy didn't stay as long I wished she would. She seemed to be pretty busy a lot of the time. At least for as long as I knew her.

Then there was a fairly upset Pinkie Pie who burst into the tree shortly afterwards. Somehow with everything that happened she was the only pony that didn't know what was going on with me.

"You said you were going to see me again tomorrow and that was five days ago!" she shouted with eyes narrowed at me.

I had to quickly come up with a way to diffuse the situation. I got an idea to do not only that but to have a little fun with the pony as well.

"Pinkie Pie!? You didn't know?" I said with feigned shock.

"Know what?" she said suspiciously.

"I was in a coma Pinkie," I said flatly.

"W-what!? How!?" Pinkie asked, her expression completely flipped from angry to worried. Twilight was watching curiously as I acted more dramatic than normal.

"I was... attacked," I said, turning away slightly.

"What!?" exclaimed Pinkie.

"What!?" exclaimed Twilight just after.

"Yes, attacked by a Princess," I said, bringing my hand up to my check and turning my expression sorrowful.

Pinkie pondered this a moment and then pointed her hoof at a shocked Twilight. I shook my head.

"Luna?" she asked.

"No..." I responded, lowering the volume of my voice and pouring more woe into my tone.

"Not Princess Cadence!" she said, her shock growing.

"No! It was..." I swallowed audibly. "Your Sun Princess..."

"No way! Princess Celestia attacked you?" The look of surprise on Pinkie Pie's face and utter disbelief on Twilight's was almost enough to break my act, but I still had further to go.

"She did not!" Twilight insisted.

"She did! Just the sight of me sent her into fury! A blast of that golden magic and everything went black!" I said, you could hear the jaws hit the floor.

"That's... that's..." Twilight was dumbstruck.

"Poor Princess Twilight! For three days my sweet friend looked after me and when I wouldn't wake up she brought me to Canterlot so she could plead with... her majesty," I deliberately hesitated around Celestia's name. Pinkie was just looking at me amazed.

"What happened!?" Pinkie asked desperately.

"It was actually Princess Luna that took pity on me and she rescued me from the prison of my own mind. But... Princess Celestia... she demanded to see me immediately," I made it sound like I was on the verge of tears. "Despite every good thing Twilight said about me she remained unconvinced and wanted to personally see what I had to offer as human and..." I choked on a fake sob, "as a male..."

Twilight's eye twitched and I'm sure if she could find her voice she would have screamed.

Pinkie Pie gasped. "No way! No way!" she shouted.

"Yes she..." I choked on another fake sob and continued, "I don't blame her for what she did, she was just being... thorough... as a ruler. I'm sure she just did what she thought was best. After all the... tests... she seemed pleased. She even went so far as to say that I was... magical." My dramatization was particularly hammy but Pinkie was hanging on every word. I wanted to keep going but Twilight looked like she was about to explode. "I'm sorry, I can't talk about this anymore Pinkie I... I think I need some time to myself..." I said, giving Pinkie that saddest, sappiest look I could muster.

"No! Uh, I mean of course! I'll come back some other time! I'll bring... um... chocolate! You like chocolate! I'll bring something chocolatey!" Pinkie stammered as she made her way backwards toward the door, slamming it behind her when she was finished speaking.

I had a slight smile on my face as I turned back to Twilight, "Well that was fun."

Twilight looked like she had just witnessed something she couldn't comprehend. For a moment she just stood there, stammering and stuttering as she tried to find some way to react. Eventually she managed to find some words.

"How could... why did you say all of that!? None of that was even remotely true! How could you say all of that about Princess Celestia!?" Twilight shouted, her face growing angrier with each word.

A twisted thought entered my head and I decided to deal with this angry pony just like I did with the last one.

"Now Twilight, you weren't there for all of the tests and talks I had with Celestia. Some of the things she had me do..." I looked away from Twilight, fidgeting just slightly and with just a tiny bit of embarrassment on my face.

"Y-you're joking," her anger faltered and a blush started to creep across her face.

I gave Twilight a very long and serious stare that gave her further pause. "You don't need to be jealous Twilight, it didn't mean anything to me," I eventually said.

"You are joking," she sighed, her expression turning exasperated.

I walked over to Twilight, leaned down and poked her nose. "You're right, all I did was flirt with her a little," I said seriously.

Twilight seemed surprised by even this, "You did not!"

"Of course I did, Celestia's a lot of fun to tease," I said.

Twilight huffed a little and stomped off. It didn't take her long to come back and lecture me on general appropriate behavior. I tuned her out.

--

The following day I was woken up very early by Princess Twilight Sparkle to continue the the tests that were interrupted back in Canterlot. Whatever magical nonsense she was preparing to do on me seemed excessively complicated, she had Spike helping her review a serious stack of notes. Normally Twilight let me sleep in but she seemed really excited about this test.

Now I'm not great in the morning I admit. It's why I nap in short bursts. A half hour here, an hour there and I'm good to go. I sleep for more than a couple hours then I get groggy and weird. Couple that with getting up earlier in the morning than normal and I was a regular mess. So I don't really remember much about this magical test Twilight wanted to do. I do remember a loud belch coming from Spike and flash of green fire. After I blinked a couple of times Twilight was looking over a scroll and a much more average looking, to me anyways, letter. Then as quick as a flash she was out the front door.

I looked at Spike and asked "Does this mean I can go back to bed?" Spike just shrugged.

--

It was about noon when Twilight came back. I was in the kitchen looking at everything she had and trying to decide on what I could make. With all the hubbub happening I hadn't really had an opportunity to do any cooking. The food at Celestia's castle was pretty good but it seemed catered to very specific tastes. Ponies certainly have a few things in their diet that I can't, or wouldn't, eat. More often than not Twilight just stuffs some flowers in between two pieces of bread and calls it a sandwich. If there was anything I did go over with Twilight in detail it's what I could and should eat.

However there wasn't that much of a problem for me. Even with the ever looming issue of meat there was still plenty of different kinds of familiar foods and spices to work with. I admit I did look forward to impressing Twilight with my family's cooking skills.

Unfortunately I was pulled out of the kitchen by the sound of Twilight's hooves frantically running back and forth through the house. When I entered the main room I saw her frantically packing a couple of bags while she was barking orders to Spike while he ran around just as frantically. So much for cooking.

I let out a loud sigh which caused Twilight and Spike to stop in their tracks. "Where are we going this time?" I asked, giving her a flat look.

Twilight was honestly shocked to see me. She started glancing between me and her bags while she tried to come up with a response which earned her an annoyed look from me. "W-well..." she stuttered.

"You weren't planning on going somewhere without me were you?" I asked while I stepped closer to her.

"Well... something is happening and... it might be dangerous so..." she started to explain but I had closed the distance between us and interrupted her by pinching her fuzzy cheeks.

"You were planning on running off to some dangerous place while your human friend stayed behind and worried about you?" I asked with some annoyance in my tone before I let go of her face.

"Well after everything that's happened I thought you could use a rest," she said a little more confidently.

"I rest enough, so why don't you tell me what's going on," I said, not about to leave it up to debate.

Twilight conceded easily enough and told me that there was a serious problem in the Crystal Empire, which I remembered was ruled by the Love Princess, and that was relayed to her by Princess Celestia because she was busy investigating the thing with Cronus and the death of two of her guards. So as any good leader ought to she delegated the responsibility of Crystal Empire aid to Princess Twilight. Though I think she probably would have done it anyway since Twilight has family there or so I only vaguely remembered at the time. That and I think Twilight's dealt with problems out there before.

The specific letter requesting aid mentioned a strange energy was gathering around the outskirts of the empire and it reacted violently when approached. Twilight was very concerned about this turn of events and had managed to get the support of all of her friends.

"Val! You're coming too?" Rainbow Dash shouted when she caught sight of me at the train station and she flew right up to me.

"Well I'm not going to get left here all by myself," I said with feigned annoyance.

When Pinkie Pie showed up she was looking at me with sympathetic eyes. Twilight quickly pulled her aside and went to plain my excessive lie. I may think the truth is pretty important but I can't deny that sometimes a lie can be fun.

Fluttershy, Applejack and Rarity were all pretty happy to see me when they showed up. Once we got on the train I pulled Rarity aside so I could talk to her about additional clothing options. Really I just wanted to ask for more of the same pairs of clothes and everyone only had the best things to say about her work with clothing. I only had one major concern.

"As far as money goes though I'm not really sure how I can compensate you," I said.

Rarity just scoffed at me. "Oh don't be silly dear, I would happy to help. Just..." she paused and gave me a very cute, wide-eyed, puppy dog stare. "I was hoping you would give me a little... creative freedom with some of your clothing?" she asked, finishing with a large smile.

That made me hesitate for a second, her creative freedom already wormed it's way into my existing set of clothes. But if that was the worst of it then it wasn't really that big of a deal.

"That's fine," I said, raising an eyebrow at her. "I would still like to find some way to compensate you for your time," I added but Rarity just ignored me and happily jogged in place for a moment.

She started going on and on about how excited she was about this new opportunity to explore different design methods. We settled on that when this new mess was over I would go right over to Rarity's boutique so we could get started.

She also gave me a bright orange scarf since apparently the Crystal Empire was fairly far north. So that was nice.

Applejack found me after I finished talking with Rarity and she gave me a big smile.

"I wanted to thank ya again for your help from before," she said.

"Yeah I sure helped a lot getting hit in the throat," I responded in a joking tone.

"Well sure," Applejack teased. "But you did get us organized real quick and your plan worked like a charm," she said with a reassuring smile.

I just shrugged but still gave her a small smile of my own. Applejack nudged me playfully in the leg with her hoof. "Still I owe ya for your help," she said.

I immediately shook my head. "Don't worry about it, as far as I'm concerned I still owe you guys for digging me out of the ground," I said.

Applejack just gave me a dubious look but she didn't push the issue.

Pinkie Pie came by later and instead of being mad like I expected she thought my little prank was really funny. Which caught the attention of the other ponies so I ended up telling them my made up story about how I was "attacked" by Princess Celestia and reenacted my cheesy performance. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were doubled over laughing, I didn't really get a good read on Fluttershy while Twilight was still appalled along with Rarity who didn't think much of my antics.

All in all the train ride was quite a bit of fun. The seating was again oriented towards ponies and the backs of the seats were more for show than anything. It would slope up on one end of the couch and slope back down to nonexistence on the other end. But since it was an overnight trip there were at least some beds so when I was ready to really relax I could go lay down. Unfortunately the bed was fairly cramped so it went without saying that I had to go the night without my cuddle buddy.

--

The trip over was fun and overall relaxing but there was an immediate shift in the atmosphere once we stepped off the train. Several guards were waiting for us and I quickly was made aware of why this place was called the Crystal Empire. The ponies, the structures, everything appeared crystalline in one way or the other. I wasn't really quite sure what to think of it all, not that I was given a lot of time to think about it.

Before the guards could get a word out something glowing and silver just swooped out of the sky at us. All of us ducked and it crashed into the train platform. Or rather, it passed straight through it.

Looking up we could see a dozen pony shaped masses flying erratically in the sky and several were turning and swooping towards us.

"Princess! We have to get to the castle! Quickly!" said one of the crystal guards.

"Right!" said Twilight and she quickly followed the guards lead.

Fluttershy squealed at the sight of the silver ghostly ponies and rushed ahead of Twilight. The rest of the ponies followed quickly after with me bringing up the rear. Ponies had a lot of things going for them and speed was one of those things. So did those silver ghosts.

One of them quickly honed in on me and while I tried to jump to the side it phased through my arm.

The pain was excruciating. My entire arm seized up and shocks of pain shot out from my arm and through the rest of my body. It was so sudden and painful I couldn't keep from letting out a loud yelp. But once the ghost had passed completely through my arm the pain was gone. Rainbow and Twilight both looked back with concern but I waved her forward as I kept on running.

Partway towards the center of the Crystal Empire the silver ghosts stopped chasing us. They seemed to have hit some line they wouldn't cross. They hovered in the air, though they looked like unicorns and had no wings to speak of. In fact they had no eyes or mouths to speak of either, they just seemed like a glowing silver energy in the shape of a pony. I was constantly looking behind us, wanting to make sure I caught sight of the next attack and once it seemed like they stopped chasing us I stopped running.

The other ponies noticed the danger had passed and slowed to a stop. Once I caught up they were all looking at me with worry.

"Are you okay?" asked the six mares almost completely in unison.

I shook the numbness out of my arm and reassured them with a nod. "Yeah I'm fine. I wouldn't recommend touching those things though," I said.

Looking back again there were dozens upon dozens swarming all around what I could see of the Crystal Empire. They didn't seem to pass a certain threshold but they frantically flew as close as they could.

We didn't waste any time in getting info on what was going on so we went to meet with the Love Princess herself.

I wasn't struck by the pretty pink Love Princess so much as her interaction with Twilight.

Once the two of them caught sight of each other they just rushed up to each other and just did this cute little song and dance and... and... I just...

I have no words.

I was frozen in place, staring at the both of them with my hand over my mouth.

When the Love Princess turned to greet the other ponies her eyes were drawn up to me and she stared for a second. I was still in shock. She turned back to Twilight with a smile. "Who is your tall new friend?" she asked.

"Oh! Well this is Valentino he... um... well it's kind of a long story. A really long story," said Twilight.

"He's pretty cool though!" said Rainbow, slugging me in the arm with her hoof.

I was still frozen in place.

The pretty pink Love Princess laughed a little and then approached me. "Well, I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but please call me Cadance," she said.

Something about her name struck a chord with me and broke me out of my trance. I looked down at her and removed my hand from my mouth. "I'm Valentino Luciano Brugato," I said, mimicking the sing-song way my father would say it along with a bit of his accent. After that I huffed out a little sigh. "But please call me... well call me whatever you want, all the other ponies do," I finished and she giggled.

"Where did you come from? What exactly are you?" asked the curious Love Princess.

"He's a human," offered Fluttershy.

"He's a detective," added Rarity.

"He was underground!" shouted Pinkie Pie.

"And Twilight said it was a really long story. Isn't there a bigger concern than just me right now?" I insisted, trying to keep from everyone from getting too derailed.

"He's right, what is going on Cadance?" asked Twilight.

Princess Cadance gave Twilight an exhausted look. "We don't really know. There isn't any record of anything like this happening before. Certainly not here in the Crystal Empire," she said.

"So the ghosts aren't common then?" I asked. As flippant as it might have sounded I only asked because I actually wouldn't have been surprised if ghosts were common. Angry maybe, but not surprised.

Fluttershy visibly flinched at the mention of ghosts while the other ponies donned a look of concern about the matter at hand.

"No, and they aren't ghosts," said a very male sounding voice from a nearby entrance. Which at that point was starting to be a rare thing to hear.

"Shining Armor!" said an elated Twilight Sparkle, I followed her gaze to a unicorn stallion with a white coat and blue mane.

"Twily! It's great to see you!" he said and approached our little group, standing next to Princess Cadance. He gave me a discerning once over and I looked down at him with a blank expression.

"This is my husband and Twilight's brother Prince Shining Armor," Princess Cadance interjected between our stares.

That's when it hit me, Twilight mentioned that it was her older brother that married the Love Princess.

"Detective Valentino Brugato," I offered, pointing back at my chest with my thumb.

A small smile came to his face once he heard I was a detective and he turned to Twilight. "You brought a, um, detective Twily?" he asked. Cute nickname.

"It's a long story," both Twilight and I said at the same time much to the good humor of the other ponies.

"Well, anyways, no they aren't ghosts, they're pure magic," said Shining Armor donning a serious expression. "There were just a few of them at first and they were well outside of our borders but as they've grown in number they've started moving in on us," he said.

"How many are there?" I quickly asked.

"Maybe sixty or seventy from the last report from a couple hours ago," he answered.

"Where are they coming from?"

"We think somewhere to the northwest."

"You think? Haven't you sent out anyone to scout it out?"

"Well we tried but once they left the borders they were swarmed and had to retreat back in."

"What about their rate of growth? How many more are coming in and how often?"

"Maybe four or five an hour, it fluctuates," at this point Shining Armor was starting to look annoyed at my quick barrage of questions. The other ponies were just watching us go back and forth in quick succession.

"Sorry, sort of an occupational habit to ask a lot of questions," I said and Shining Armor seemed to ease up at that.

It didn't seem like they were running the risk of being overrun soon anyways. However the priorities in my head were to stop any more "reinforcements" and routing the magic ghosts that were left. . They could phase through objects so it wasn't likely that getting in some kind of vehicle would stop someone from being swarmed. Did ponies have other modes of transport besides trains? Did they need them? I had only seen the trains so far.

"But they were well within in the border when we showed up," said Twilight and Shining Armor gave her a worried expression.

"Yeah, the newer ones stay back further but the others have been slowly pushing in. We've spent a lot of time evacuating ponies and moving them towards the center of the empire," he said.

"That's when we sent for help," added Princess Cadance.

"Well if they're just magic then there must be some spell behind it and there has to be a way to break it," said Twilight confidently.

"We've tried, but when we tried any sort of magic near them they went berserk and crossed over to attack. They can't seem to do any serious damage but when they touch you it really hurts!" said Shining Armor.

"Yeah it does," I mumbled, rubbing my arm.

Suddenly an idea hit me.

"Wait, what's been keeping them out?" I asked.

"Huh?" said Shining Armor.

"They clearly want to get into your empire here but something is keeping them at bay, what is it?" I asked.

"Well the Crystal Heart protects the Crystal Empire," offered Princess Cadance.

"Crystal Heart..." I muttered, it was a familiar name. Something Twilight mentioned in one of her lectures but I was having trouble placing it.

"Yeah, the power of the Crystal Heart must be keeping them out!" said Twilight optimistically.

It was on the tip of my tongue.

"But they are pushing against it, the ones that showed up first have made it in past our borders," said Shining Armor darkly.

"What... it was... something that powers the Crystal Heart?" I asked aloud, snapping my fingers while trying to draw the answer out of my head.

"The light and love within all of the Crystal Ponies," answered Princess Cadance. Once she got the word love out it all fell together in my mind.

"That's it," I said and pointed right at Princess Cadance. "The love of that Crystal Heart is keeping them out. Now wasn't there a pony here that has a special brand of love magic?" I asked.

"Oh! Oh! Princess Cadance!" Pinkie Pie answered a little too enthusiastically.

"In fact I think Twilight told me in one of her lectures that you kept up some kind of love barrier around the whole Crystal Empire for days," I said.

"Yes, well..." the pink pony princess mumbled and her face turned a darker shade of pink.

"So I don't see why you couldn't ward off a couple of puny magic ghosts so you could investigate where these things are coming from," I stated.

"Well I suppose it wouldn't be too hard," mused Princess Cadance.

"What? You can't go out there alone!" shouted Shining Armor.

"Of course not!" I sternly said. "Obviously Princess Cadance would be a part of larger party," I said.

"But they aren't coming in that quickly, shouldn't we reduce their numbers before going out on this investigation?" argued Shining Armor.

"If we can find the source then we could likely put a stop to it altogether," said Twilight. No one was about to argue with Twilight's expertise on the matter.

Shining Armor relented and the Love Princess would use the power of love to ward off the magical spirits so that she could help trace them back to their source and possibly use the power of love to put an end to this strange attack on her Crystal Empire.

As I write this I finally realize how ridiculous this all sounds..

--

There were four of us in carriage and two crystal pony guards pulling it through the snowy landscape.

Before we left we effectively tested to see if Princess Cadance could in fact ward off the silver ghosts like I thought and I wasn't just pulling a bunch of assumptions out of my ass. Turns out I was right. The ghosts started on a beeline straight for Cadance but she did some glowy horn magic which stopped them dead in their tracks. Then they circled around her a bit before flying off.

In the magically, I assumed, warmed carriage was of course Princess Cadance, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and myself. Cadance was seated next to me. Rainbow Dash and Twilight were across from us.

Now I was there for a couple of reasons. One reason was a personal obligation to see my own plan through. Another reason was that since they were going to investigate the source of those ghosts that a professional investigator would be handy. Shining Armor also sort of pushed me to go since it was my idea. For the record Shining Armor seemed pretty nice, just very worried about what was going on.

The others stayed behind to hold things together within the Crystal Empire. Just about every pony wanted to go but Shining Armor had to stay because if the prince and princess both ran off during a crisis it would likely cause ponies to panic. Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and the others I told to stay back and keep morale high. Fluttershy didn't want to go to the source of ghosts and Rarity wasn't exactly thrilled to go on the expedition either. Pinkie was happy enough to be in charge of morale. Applejack thought that she should go but I told her that the Crystal Ponies might need some real muscle and that she was probably worth twenty of those wimpy guards. The flattery worked like a charm.

I'm not sure if I was overconfident in the ponies with me or not. I figured that having the Love Princess and Princess Twilight Sparkle was more power than needed. They were pretty magic right? Did they even need me and Rainbow Dash?

The guards pulling the carriage, which I guess was normal, were keeping their eyes peeled for those silver spirits and adjusting our course accordingly. There was a thick blanket of snow on the ground but the sky was thankfully clear.

On the trip Twilight started to fill in Cadance on the long story that was me. I added things here and there, like how Rainbow Dash mercilessly beat me within an inch of my life the second she saw me. Rainbow Dash quickly went to her own defense and I laughed.

But that aside Cadance took my sordid tale about as well the others. Once things got dark she got this very sad and sympathetic look. I had to reassure her as I did with the others that I was alive and that was enough. Despite that she was still concerned but about something that I should have expected.

"I get that you are grateful to be alive but what about..." Cadance said, trailing off a bit.

I was looking out the window of the enclosed carriage. "What about what?" I asked with no particular inflection in my tone.

"Well what about the humans you left behind? Wasn't there somepony, er, some human special?" Cadance asked.

It hit me all at once what the Love Princess was implying. If I had been drinking something I would have done a serious spit take. The last real relationship I had a crack at was in high school and that ended miserably. To the point were the thought of trying to be that intimate with someone again was laughable for a while.

Actually I started laughing in the carriage. Part from the shock and part from just remembering that old flame. "No way, no, I," I interrupted myself with another chuckle. "The only people I left behind were some mediocre co-workers and a few ladies I knew that I 'got together' with now and then," I put some air quotes and extra emphasis around got together. The ponies all just gave me a confused look.

Realizing the ponies couldn't know what I was gesturing and didn't get my emphasis I decided to be a little more direct. "For sex, we got together to have sex," I said. Every pony in the carriage flushed deeply and went quiet.

I wasn't really expecting that kind of response. I thought maybe I would get a chuckle out of Rainbow Dash but she was just as embarrassed as the others. However I quickly saw this as an opportunity for a lot of fun.

"I didn't realize I was sharing a carriage with a group of prudish ponies. Even you Princess Cadance? I mean, you are married and all. I'm sure you had a wonderful honeymoon," I said playfully. Just after saying that a thought quickly entered my head. "Do married ponies have honeymoons? Is that a thing?" I added.

Cadance coughed nervously and a goofy grin appeared on her face. "Yes, um, we do, we did, it was good. Great..." she said nervously. Cadance looked like she was caught between some saucy memories and her own bashfulness. Rainbow Dash was still slightly uncomfortable, Twilight was staring at Cadance and growing even more embarrassed than before. Perhaps her brothers implied exploits were a bit embarrassing for her.

"Well as far as my lady friends go it wasn't that special. We didn't have any sort of real connection or anything it was just convenient and enjoyable. Human's have needs after all," I said. Every bashful eye was back on me. Cadance and Twilight were nervously shifting in their seats. "Again, I'm talking about sex," I clarified again just for the enjoyment of seeing their eyes go wide.

"Since we are on the subject, what about you two," I said, gesturing to Rainbow and Twilight. "Do either of you have somepony special?" I asked with a mischievous grin. Both Twilight and and Rainbow looked away.

"I haven't really ever had a lot of time to think about it..." said Twilight nervously.

Rainbow Dash however was a little more aggressively dismissive. "There just hasn't been any stallions awesome enough for me is all," she said firmly.

"Oh? Well what about-" I started but was quickly cut off.

"No! I don't have any marefriends!" Rainbow snapped.

I stared at Dash with a blank expression for a few seconds while she glared back at me. "I was going to say," I started again. "What about a sexy and super cool human?" I said, flexing my arms a little for emphasis.

Then it was Rainbow's turn to stare at me blankly for a few seconds before she started to crack up laughing, which caused the other ponies to start to crack up laughing.

"Ow, my pride," I said flatly.

"Sorry," Rainbow choked out between laughs. She took a few breaths to stop her laughter. "I just don't know if you're that cool," she said teasingly.

I turned my gaze over to Twilight who was still laughing. One last idea sparked in my brain.

"Well I know Twilight thinks I'm that cool," I said. Eyes were immediately back on me.

"Huh?" said Twilight.

"Huh?" chorused Rainbow and Cadance with big smiles now on their faces.

"I mean, after what you did to me during my bath that time..." I said, turning my gaze away and feigning shyness as best I could.

"Huh!?" shouted Twilight. Rainbow was grinning even wider and Cadance looked shocked.

"You didn't!" said Cadance.

"I didn't!" said Twilight desperately.

Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a suspicious look.

"I didn't! He was still injured! He couldn't do it himself! It was just a bath!" Twilight pleaded.

"She was very gentle with me. It's just... she was a little too interested in my... anatomy..." I said, happily throwing a little more fuel on the fire.

Cadance and Rainbow Dash narrowed their eyes at Twilight.

"Valentino!" Twilight snapped. That's when I started laughing. Rainbow started shortly after. After that I think Twilight threw something at my head which just made me laugh harder.

--

In spite of all the goofing around in the carriage the guards pulling us along actually did their jobs and led us further and further to the northwest. Eventually stopping at the base one of many tall mountains. Once the carriage came to a stop we all got out to investigate. I was really thankful for that scarf Rarity gave me as it was the only thing that really helped against the cold.

There was a large cave at the base which we were parked right in front of. The guards insisted that they saw the magic ghosts come from there. A big cave like that seemed as likely a place as any but we waited to see for ourselves.

We didn't have to wait long to see one fly out and head straight for us. Thanks to Princess Cadance it stopped just short of the guards, flew around us a few times then went off back towards the Crystal Empire.

"So a cave huh?" I said, breaking the silence as we made our way towards it.

"If I remember correctly there were plans for a mining operation out here before the reappearance of the Crystal Empire, plenty of Iron in the mountains," said Cadance.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know what caused them to stop, all I know is that there are claims on several mines out here. It probably would have cost too much without the Crystal Empire nearby to facilitate trade and supplies for the laborers. " answered Cadance.

"Are mines a good place for doing spooky ghost magic?" I asked half jokingly.

"Not better than anyplace else, but who knows what you might dig up," said Twilight.

I stopped right in front of the entrance to the cave. It was fairly dark inside but as soon as the ponies encroached upon the darkness Twilight lit it up with some magic from that horn of hers. I admit I had plenty of anxieties of going into the cave. Tons of stone bearing down on us, potentially cramped tunnels. But it looked pretty spacious inside so with a sigh I pushed down my anxiety and followed after the ponies.

--

High ceilings, strong looking supports and constantly looking back towards the entrance kept me at ease inside the tunnel. The tunnel wasn't much more than just that, a tunnel, but if what Cadance said was true then there probably wasn't much push towards an actual mining operation.

A few meters in we encountered some lit lanterns which was a pretty solid indication of activity. The lanterns led us to a large hub that seemed to split out into five other, smaller tunnels. In that hub we found some saddlebags, a cart full of supplies as well as some harsh weather gear. There wasn't any documentation with the supplies.

The cart was large enough that two ponies would be needed to pull it so it was best to assume that there was a group present. The food supplies however looked like it would only last a few days for a group of at least two. The winter gear was similarly limited.

The tools and other supplies did not seem suited to a ritual to summon malevolent magical specters but... just for checking out a mine. Not that I was sure that you needed supplies to do something like that. But the intent still seemed apparent from what was present that someone was just there to check out the mine.

It was looking pretty innocent all in all which was frustrating but there was still plenty of mine to explore. Which was frustrating enough for me. I noticed early on as we ventured in that we were very clearly descending which did not help my anxiety much either.

After some more searching Cadance let out a harsh yelp that startled everyone. There was something noisily skittering across the floor, about the size of maybe a rat. It came right towards me so I just lifted up my leg and brought my foot right down on it.

There was hardly any give when I stomped on it, the thing was solid as a rock and still squirming underneath my damp dress shoe.

Side note, don't wear dress shoes in the snow. I was only out in it for a minute but it was so deep it got onto my pants and socks and melted once we got in the cave.

I reached down and with very little caution grabbed the creature under my shoe and lifted it up. The texture was smooth and cold like metal. When I got a good look at it the creature wasn't much of a creature at all. It was more like a little metal dome with six legs. It wiggled it's legs uselessly in the air as I tried to examine it. It was lightly scratched on the surface but otherwise had no distinct markings. It had a dark gray coloring and a light gray glow around it's joints.

I held it up towards Twilight. "What is this?" I asked.

A purple glowing aura of magic gently took the object out of my hand and brought it over to Twilight. She looked at it intensely and the aura around it as well as her horn seemed to fluctuate in demeanor and intensity.

"I don't recognize the design but it has an enchantment on it," she said and set the little metal bug on the ground. It eagerly rushed around on the floor, propelling itself with four of it's legs and picking up stones with it's front legs. It would deposit the stones around the edges of the hub room. It was a lot better at it's job than some human vacuum "robots".

It was also the first significant indication of anything magical in the whole mine aside from the ghosts flying out of it.

Rainbow Dash, who got bored of exploring the hub room we were in, flew casually into one of the tunnels. Like all the other offshoots the entrance was smaller than the tunnel we had been in. Something that I noticed internally but reassured myself that I had hallways in my old apartment that were smaller than the tunnel entrance.

Side note, my apartment was five stories off the ground.

The tunnel she flew into wasn't illuminated so I snatched a lantern from off one of the walls and followed Rainbow Dash in. She was turned and smiled at me when I walked in, looking like she was about to get a lantern herself. It didn't take us long to find the end of that particular path. I took maybe ten steps before I reached the back wall. Holding the lantern up I went to inspect along the walls of the short tunnel for anything suspicious.

Rainbow was moving to go back out when a loud crack came from the entryway. My eyes snapped to it just in time to see a heavy stone slab quickly slide down and seal us in the unfinished tunnel.

That really didn't help my anxiety.

Let me out.

Author's Note

Well, this took a bit longer than I had anticipated but it is out now! Lot's of things happened within the process of writing this and without.

Video Games are what happened without.

Lot's of Video Games.

But it's out now and hopefully if you've made it this far then you've enjoyed it.

And if you have made it this far then, as always, thanks for reading~!