Twilight Reacts to Cupcakes

by AspergerGoodness

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Alternate Universe
Length: 3137

This is a fourth-wall-breaking story. If you are somehow afraid of it, get out of here.

Twilight's reaction to the worst MLP story ever written by a human being. Seriously, that guy must've been really depressed.

I'd really like to know if you like the story or not, so please feel free to comment down below, even if you just wanna make a cupcake out of my talentless flesh.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-11-03 19:39:52 UTC

Twilight Meets the Internet

"Whew... just finished everything.", says Twilight, after doing all of her chores. It's still 4 p.m. outside, and she doesn't have any plans for this day. "I guess I'll just listen to some music."

  Unfortunately, Twilight remembers that Fluttershy borrowed her CDs for a project. She didn't actually tell WHAT she was going to do, she just said that everyone would know about it soon.

  "Oh well", Twilight said. "Maybe there's a book I didn't read yet."

  She was wrong. There wasn't a single book in the library that hasn't been read. Spike appeared, and his attention turned onto Twilight, looking really bored.

  "Hey, Twilight. Is something wrong?", says him.

  "No, Spike. I just can't seem to find anything to pass time. And all of my friends are busy."

  "Why don't you go to the internet then?" says Spike. Twilight had forgotten she actually had a computer, since she only uses it when she can't actually find any books that answer her questions. Being in the library, that's pretty hard to happen.

  "But what's there to do on the internet? I don't have any questions right now."

  "I'll turn on the computer for you. Research isn't the only thing the internet can do."

  "Okay, I'm on the internet. What now?", says Twilight, angered by her extreme boredom.

  "Now, just tell me what you want to do.", says Spike.

  "I don't know, read something?"

  "... how about some fanfics?"

  "What IS a fanfic?"

  "It's basically a fanmade episode of some TV show, or other story-based entertainment."

  "What do you mean? Someone's making unofficial episodes?"

  "Not just someone. Anyone can create an unofficial episode. This situation right here is an unofficial episode."

  "Really? That's pretty cool."

  "You should be careful though. There are always some depressed maniacs out there, so some fanfics might not be very comfortable to read. Unless you're into that kind of stuff..."

  "What kind of stuff?"

  "Um... you'll get there sometime. There are also others that just can't get their priorities straight, and their fanfics can be rather... kinky. They're called clopfics."

  "Kinky? What, are you showing me text porn?"

  "NO, no. I'm just warning you, there is stuff like that all over the internet. If you don't watch your step, you'll end up stuck in the mindcrazed part of it."

  "That sounds dangerous. Are there other kinds of messed-up fanfics besides those two?"

  "Not really. Some of them are just plain depressing."

  "The more you talk about it, the more I think this is a bad idea."

  "Well, that's why there are warnings in the websites. If you follow those, you'll know if a story matches your liking or not."

  "Could you show me an example?"

  "Sure. How about... 'The Contest'?"

  "What contest?"

  "It's the title of the story."

  "... wait, the story stars me?"

  "Rarity and Fluttershy as well."

  "... oh, I get it! Someone has an idea for an episode, and writes a fanfic about it!"

  "I guess you could define it like that."

  "Looks like fun... wait. How about those dangerous ones? Do they star me and my friends as well?"

  "... yep. That's the most disturbing part of it, if you ask me."

  "Okay, now I'm curious. Someone actually made text porn about me? That's so disrespectful!"

  "Are you really entering dangerous territory?"

  "It can't be that bad. At least I know the characters."

  "Ah well. Tried to warn ya."

  "What's this one called 'Cupcakes' doing here?"

  "... don't read it."

  "Why not? What's there to be offended about in a story about cupcakes?"

  "In this one? Pretty much everything."

  "There's both kinds of dangers?"

  "No, just one."

  "Is it gory or sexy?"

  "There's nothing sexy about it."

  "Fine by me. I never got scared by that stuff. Besides, it's only a bunch of letters."

  "Ah well. Tried to warn ya again. I'll just stay here to see your reaction."

  "Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash? Do they get killed by me or something?"

  "You're not in the story."

  "Aww."

  "You're really starting to creep me out a little, Twilight."

  "Relax, Spike. It's just a bunch of blood and organs, nothing I haven't seen in horror movies."

Sleepover

  It's Nightmare Night eve. Twilight has invited her friends for a sleepover, so her boredom goes away. She did the right thing... she won't be bored for a long time.

  Pinkie Pie, as always, was the first to arrive.

  "Hey, Twilight!", says Pinkie. "Aww... I guess I'm not the first to arrive this time."

  "Yes you are, Pinkie.", says Twilight, letting out a giggle.

  "No, I'm not! You were here before me!"

  "This is my house, Pinkie. I don't count as a guest.", says Twilight. Her boredom was already over.

  "You don't?", says Pinkie, with a surprised look. "What are you doing here if you're not invited?"

  Twilight laughed. Pinkie was as spastic as ever.

  "If I'm second to arrive, then what are we going to do?"

  "I'm thinking of something, but I want the other girls to be here first."

  "Be here first? But you're already first!"

  "I meant I want to wait for the remaining four to come here before I do the thing I'm thinking about."

  "Well, Rainbow is sure to arrive soon."

  Pinkie was right. In less than three seconds, the door was knocked.

  "Heya, Twilight! Is Fluttershy here?", asks Rainbow Dash.

  "She's not here yet.", says Twilight,

  "Aww, that bites."

  "Why are you wondering about Fluttershy?", asks Twilight.

  "I guess someone here's got a crush on Fluttershy...", Pinkie Pie joked.

  "I do not!", answers Rainbow Dash, not losing her sense of humor.

  "That's what they all say. C'mon, Dashy, no need to hide your feelings.", Pinkie Pie continued.

  "I'm not hiding anything! She told me she's got a surprise for us at the sleepover."

  "It's okay to lie, Rainbow Dash. Everyone's talking about it.", says Twilight, playing along with Pinkie Pie.

  "What if I actually had a crush on her? What would you think?", says Rainbow Dash, already annoyed by all of that.

  "I knew you would admit it!", says Pinkie.

  "Alright, enough joking around, Pinkie. Let's do something else while we wait for the others.", says Twilight, not wanting for Rainbow Dash to feel embarrassed as soon as she got there.

  "I wasn't joking!", says Pinkie Pie, while the three go grab something to read.

  "Joking or not, it's about time you stopped.", protests Rainbow Dash, while hiding a sigh of relief.

  Rarity and Fluttershy arrived at the same time. Rainbow Dash tried to hide her excitement, without much result, as Pinkie Pie looked down on her, like a real joker. Fluttershy was carrying a guitar on her saddle.

  "Hey, where have you been?", asks Twilight.

  "Oh, me and Fluttershy decided to stop by at the spa, so we'd look our best in the sleepover.", says Rarity with a proud look.

  "You did a pretty good job...", says Rainbow Dash, trying not to stare at Fluttershy too much. Pinkie Pie let out a giggle.

  "Cut it out, Pinkie. Doesn't that guitar look cool?", says Rainbow Dash, relieved to find an alternate target for her passionate stares,

  "Well, only Applejack's left.", says Twilight, while looking at Fluttershy, confused. "I didn't know you could play the guitar, Fluttershy. I mean, we only have one finger."

  "This is a cartoon, Twilight. Everything's possible!", says an excited Pinkie.

  "I wanted to write some songs for my pet animals, so I can cheer them up with some original music.", says Fluttershy, while taking her saddle and guitar off.

  "I didn't know you liked music that much, Fluttershy. What kind of music do you like?", asks a curious Rarity.

  "Well, it depends on how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm normally into some calm music, like David Bowie."

  "Whoa! You're into Bowie as well?", asks Rainbow Dash, way more excited than Pinkie.

  Fluttershy blushed a little, from all the social interaction she was getting into at once. "Yes... kinda... I think."

  "Calm down, girls, she's getting nervous.", says Twilight. The door was knocked. "Looks like everyone's here!"

  "Ah'm sorry I was late...", says Applejack, breathing heavily from all the rushing around. "I hadn't finished my daily applebuckin', so I rushed as fast as I could."

  "It's alright.", says Twilight. "Hey, Fluttershy, could you play a song for us?"

  "Um... I guess so. Which one?", says Fluttershy, having learned a lot of other songs to play them at parties.

  "I don't know... some Nirvana, maybe?"

  "Oh no, that's too depressing. This is a party after all.", says Fluttershy.

  "Why did you borrow my CDs, then?"

  "I woke up feeling angry over something... I don't know what it was, but it made me really depressed."

  "I'm sure you're just growing up", says Rainbow Dash, trying to cheer her up.

  "Could I borrow your guitar for a second, 'Shy?", asks Applejack.

  "Sure."

  "Now this is how you play the strings, fellas."

  After a half hour of guitar-playing and jam-making by Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, Twilight decides to grab some snacks,

  "Do you girls want anything to eat?"

  "Got any cupcakes?", asks Pinkie Pie.

  "Sure...", answers Twilight, reminding herself of what she read earlier. That story was just plain awful, and went exactly the way she thought it would go. However, at the same time, she didn't believe anyone could have such lack of shame, enough to write a horror story about the least likely character's unofficial episode. She does, however, have plans for the scary-story telling by midnight. It's going to be awesome.

Cupcake Goodness

  It's 2 minutes to midnight, so Twilight decides it's a good time to initiate Storytelling Time. It will be really nice to see everyone's reaction to that horrible story. Spike got a case of the snickers when she read the story. It was just plain awful.

  "Alright, girls, you know what time it is?", says Twilight, unable to contain her excitement.

  "Unfortunately...", says Fluttershy, having been in so many of Twilight's sleepovers.

  "Come on, 'Shy, y'know it's not actually true.", says Applejack.

  "Yeah. What's the worse that could happen?", says Rainbow Dash, with Pinkie Pie agreeing with a head movement.

  "I could have nightmares, you know...", says Fluttershy.

  "You can always go to bed when we get to the horrible part.", says Twilight, remembering about Fluttershy's extreme fear of horror stories.

  "I guess you're right.", says Fluttershy, not feeling sleepy at all.

  "That reminds me, have you brought my CDs back? Or are you still depressed?"

  "Oh, thanks for reminding me. They're in Rarity's bag."

  "Fine then. Good to know you're not sad anymore."

  "Yeah, it must feel really bad to be all unhappy like that.", says Rainbow Dash.

  "Believe me, it does.", says Fluttershy, laughing quietly.

  "You look so cute when you're happy, Fluttershy.", compliments Rarity.

  "Thank you, girls. I feel a lot better now.", says Fluttershy, happy to count on her friends again. It feels really good to not feel depressed and lonely. She wishes she could feel happy her whole life, but knows that sometimes, you need sadness for your friends to be certain that you need help. There, now that's a good friendship lesson.

  "Alright, so I guess we should begin then!", says Twilight. "Who's first?"

  "Me! Me!", says Rainbow Dash.

  "Alright then. Rainbow's first. Remember the rules: last to get scared wins."

  "What's the reward?", says Rainbow Dash. "This is the first time I actually stood up beyond midnight."

  "Anything you want!", jokes Pinkie Pie.

  "Pinkie, I thought I'd already told you about Rainbow Dash jokes!", says Twilight, defending Rainbow Dash.

  "It's just so funny to see her face like that!", arguments Pinkie Pie. "I'm sorry, I'll stop now."

  "That's better."

  "What are you girls talking about?", asks Fluttershy.

  "Nothing.", the three ponies say together. "Nothing at all."

  "... okay then."

  "Alright, no more interruptions.", says Twilight. "Let's get this thing started. Rainbow Dash, please begin."

  "Sure will.", says Rainbow Dash, clearing her throat.

  "It was a dark, stormy night, just like this one. All the pegasi in Cloudsdale were going home, except for one, who got lost. Her name was... Fluttertimid."

  "Why is it that every single character in your horror stories has a name similar to mine?", asks Fluttershy.

  "Because you're the only one, besides me, that has lived in Cloudsdale."

  "Why not make it take place in Ponyville?"

  "The story's already started, so I can't change it."

  "*sigh* Fine..."

  "As I was saying, Fluttertimid got lost, and couldn't find her home. Then, all of a sudden, a ghost appeared out of nowhere and killed her. The end."

  "That's not scary!", says Pinkie Pie. "It's actually kinda funny! Except for the killing part, of course."

  "How did she die anyway?", asks Fluttershy, actually relieved about the story's immensely generic factor.

  "The ghost ate her.", explains Rainbow Dash.

  "How can a ghost eat something?", asks Pinkie Pie.

  "He put her in his mouth and chewed on her, and then swallowed her broken pieces of flesh and digested everything.", explained Rainbow Dash, trying to scare away Pinkie's jokes.

  "EEK!", Fluttershy screamed, grossed out.

  "Alright, Fluttershy, you were the first one to get scared. You're out.", says Twilight.

  "I can still hear your stories, right?", asks Fluttershy. "It's getting so fun!"

  "Of course! Why not?", says Twilight.

  "I guess I'll just stay here then."

  "Alright, who's next?"

  "I would like to pass my turn, Twilight. I'm just not into this kind of thing.", says Rarity.

  "Me neither.", says Pinkie.

  "So, you're next, Fluttershy?", asks Twilight.

  "I would like to think about my story first. Why don't you tell yours, Applejack?"

  "Sure thing.", says Applejack, having slept for a few minutes. "Here goes."

  "It was a really cloudy day at Sweet Apple Acres. I was just done with my daily applebuckin', and was just 'bout ready to get home, when I heard a real loud noise coming from the inside of the barn. I went there to check out what happened, and I saw the most fearsome creature I have ever saw: a wolfpony! He tried to attack me, but I was faster, and I hit him with a silver bullet!"

  "You killed him with a silver bullet?", asks Rainbow Dash. All the other ponies were listening carefully, and seemed to find the story really fun.

  "No, I just grabbed it and threw it at him.", says Applejack. "I was too shocked to even know what I was doing."

  "What happened then?", asks Fluttershy, having already come up with a great, horrific story.

  "Well... it wasn't actually a wolfpony. Snips and Snails were trying to hide from a real wolf, and thought that a disguise would help them escape. I can't say it didn't work... that's pretty much it"

  Everyone giggled. It was nice to have a funny story to soften things up.

  "Now it's your turn, Fluttershy.", says Twilight.

  "Sure."

  "It was a normal Christmas night at the North Pole. All of Santa's elves were making toys for the good boys and girls."

  "Christmas and Santa Claus?", says Rainbow Dash. "What's there to be scared about?"

  "What's there to not be scared about?", says Pinkie Pie.

  "Is your story scary enough, Fluttershy?", asks Twilight. "Sure doesn't sound like it."

  "I'll get there. Just let me continue.", says Fluttershy, slightly frustrated.

  "Sorry about that.", says Rainbow Dash.

  Fluttershy cleared her throat.

  "It was a normal Christmas night at the North Pole. All of Santa's elves were making toys for the good boys and girls. Suddenly, the door was slammed open! It was Santa himself, but he looked really different: he had a rifle in his hand, and cheap whiskey on his breath. He was covered in ammo, from his beard to his boots."

  "EEK!", squealed Pinkie Pie. "... I guess I lost."

  "He then smiled and said: 'Merry Christmas to you all... now, you're all going to DIE!!'. He then bombed his own workshop, spreading bloody pieces of Cupid and Comet everywhere! He tied up his helpers, and ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage! He shot down Dancer and Prancer, and slashed Dasher's guts out with his own hands! He then picked up a flamethrower, *and turned Blitzen into reindeer barbecue, BEFORE HE TOOK A BIG BITE OUT OF ITS BURNED-UP FLESH!! AND THEN***... where's everyone?"

  "Are you sure you're alright, Fluttershy?", asks Rainbow Dash. Everypony was hiding in different corners of the house.

  "Um... sorry about that. I guess I got way too excited. I think it's the Nightmare Night spirit.", says Fluttershy, letting out a nervous giggle.

  "Would you please finish the story with a soft ending?", asks Twilight. "I think Rainbow Dash is the winner."

  "Well, she does look... funny with that maniacal behavior.", says Rainbow Dash.

  "Okay then, I'll do an alternate ending.", says Fluttershy, slightly, slightly frustrated.

  "Well, after all those horrible, horrible murders, the police came in, along with the FBI, and the Eyewitness News. They had a really nice fight, and Santa ended up in prison. He'll be out in good behavior in 700 years. Vixen and Donner ended up in therapy, traumatized by the whole scene. Ms. Claus is on the phone every night, negotiating the movie rights with her lawyer. The end.", says Fluttershy, ending the story with a cute smile.

  "That was... interesting.", says Twilight. "Now it's my turn, right?"

  "Yes.", says Rarity.

  "Okay then. This is a story I read earlier today, and I want you all to hear it."

  "Um... okay.", says Fluttershy,

  Twilight then read the entire "Cupcakes" story to her friends, and their reactions were just the ones she expected.

  "I guess I'm going to bed now...", says Fluttershy, absolutely terrified.

  "Do you guys want a hug?", asks Applejack, equally terrified.

  "I guess we all need it right now.", says Rarity, bearing out all negative emotions at once.

  "Twilight... did you write all of this?", asks Pinkie Pie, in absolute fear.

  "No, I would never even think about such thing.", says Twilight,

  "That was absolutely horrible. Who's the sick-headed freak that wrote this?", says Rainbow Dash, while trying to stay away from Pinkie.

  "I don't know, I just found it on the internet and wanted to share it with you girls, just to see your reactions."

  "I'd be glad to not hear about it ever again.", says Pinkie, undignified. "I would never make a cupcake out of Rainbow Dash."

  "Hey, what about the reward?", asks Rainbow Dash.

  "What reward?", asks Twilight.

  "I won the Storytelling game. What is my prize?"

  "... how about a hoofshake?"

  "... you mean there is no prize?"

  "This is the first time I ever tried this, and I ended up forgetting about what prize I was going to give out."

  "Now this is ridiculous!"

  "Hey, Dashy! How about we bake you some cupcakes?", suggests Pinkie Pie.

  "EEK!", squealed Rainbow Dash.