Celestia Eats a Banana Right in Front of You
"That was quite a scene you pulled there." A regal, white alicorn stands tall in front of you, her pastel mane waving, and her voice booming across an empty, stone room. "First time I've ever seen that in a couple of moons or so."
"I'm sorry," you admit for what seems like the billionth time. It didn't matter. She was going to keep you here regardless.
"Seriously? You would know if you actually watched the show that drinking hard cider outside of Applejack's Bar is strictly prohibited in Ponyville. And to make matters worse, you ran out in your underwear.. And nothing but it. If you wanted to do that legally, you should have went to Manehattan."
"I don't see what's the big deal," you mutter.
"Three mothers complained that their foals saw that - Rather repulsive scene," she explains.
"Okay, okay. But my consequence is being locked in a dungeon for the rest of my life?" you ask.
"Well, partially you were put in here because you broke the fifth wall."
"The fifth wall?" Your brain is cluttered. "I thought there was only the fourth wall that could be broken."
Celestia smirks a tiny bit. "No. The fifth wall is just a name I gave for when ponies travel to different universes. But I guess in this case, you traveled to a 'PonyVerse'; Equestria, which is forbidden. Even to people who travel here. In fact, how did you even get here in the first place?" she asks.
"It's not important," you reply sharply, feeling rust creep on the large handcuffs you're wearing. "And I don't see why it's a punishment."
"You should have a job and not be worrying about invading another universe."
You roll your eyes and notice Celestia's wearing a saddlebag with an imprint of her sun-butt cutiemark on it.
"What's the bag for?"
"It's not important," she mocks you, being her "Trollestia" self. Slowly, she sits down, appearing much taller than you. She stares at you with big, violet eyes. You have to admit they're beautiful. Now you see where Cadence got them from.
"What are you still doing here?" you ask nonchalantly, trying to pose as if you weren't locking eyes with her. "Aren't you supposed to be, I don't know, ruling Equestria?"
"That can wait," she says sarcastically. "My sister, Princess Luna-"
"I know who Luna is. She's my favorite princess, anyway. You don't have to introduce her every time you speak," you interrupt, Celestia seeming slightly offended at this statement.
"Anyway, Luna is out guarding the night right now, which will be over soon, and I am not needed until appropriate time for sunrise," she continues, starting to rev up her light yellow stream of magic from her larger-than-the-rest horn. "So it is my royal duty to watch over the prisoners-"
"What prisoners? I'm the only prisoner here, or ever was here."
Celestia says nothing, and blandly points to a pile of dust you didn't notice until just now.
Gulp.
"Now if you would stop interrupting me," Celestia starts again. "At sunrise, Luna and I will switch places and she will guard. I suppose that will be much more fun for you since she is your favorite princess." She uses her revved magic to start unlatching her saddlebag.
"I probably will have more fun with her," you shoot back to her.
"Well I will remind you that she rules with more of an iron hoof that I, since she's been trapped in the moon so many years, and forgets the common day punishments." The mare pulls a crescent shaped object in a waxy, yellow covering. "So she's probably going to be more tough of you than I am, in simpler terms for you."
You ignore this insult and stare at the object. "Is that-?"
"A banana, yes." Celestia crookedly smiles, her eyes glimmering with mischief.
"And the internet meme comes to reality," you groan, giving yourself a "face-palm" which in this universe is called a "face-hoof". "Now I suppose you're going to peel the top of it, lick it a little with a retarded face, and then move on with your life?"
"No.." Celestia's voice becomes distant and somehow frightening. She starts to peel the banana, like I said, but all the way, just until it's that perfect amount where you can hold it and it looks so comically correct. Then, she hovers her mouth over it's flesh, and takes a few slow licks.
You get that feeling when people (or ponies in this case) take out food and start eating or consuming it right in front of you, and your stomach starts to grumble, and it feels like your stomach acid is eating away at your gut because that's how much it hurts to watch someone (somepony) else eating something right in front of you when you don't have anything to munch on along side them.
She stops her licks, and starts to take tiny bites into the fruit. She deliciously takes in the teeny banana slices, her cheeks moving up and down, as her teeth grind it into mush. You watch with eager eyes as the squash gets thrown down her throat into her belly.
Your tongue swipes across your lips, and the acid in your tummy begins to rise.
Another bite. Same process.
More grumbling.
She looks over at you, her evil eyes burning into your head. They no longer looked so beautiful anymore. Mockingly and with a haunting voice, she says:
"Hungry?"
"Very!" you snap, beginning to drool, as she disregards your peril and takes another slow bite out of her treat.
"Uh..." You can practically feel the grumbles in your belly rising to the surface of your skin and popping out. Swallowing your spit just to keep you sated, Celestia starts to eat more rapidly, mush splattering onto her face.
You bite your tongue hungrily and swallow more saliva.
"If you're so hungry." She pauses and takes another bite, indulging in the sweet taste. Afterwards, she wipes her mouth with her hoof, and levitates the half-eaten fruit in front of your pale face. "Why don't you take a bite?"
Your mouth dry, you stick your lips out and chomp down on the air, hoping to sneak the banana inside your mouth.
"You've gotta try harder than that," Celestia teases, bobbing the banana with her magic. "You know you want it."
With more struggle, and more popping of the mouth, you chomp down again, but the banana is too far out of reach.
"I guess if you don't want it.." Her voice trails off, giving you one less impossible chance to make even the slightest attempt of eating one part of the food.
"I do want it.. So bad," you wince. You stick out your dry tongue and struggle to lick the tip of it.
"Too late." She swipes it away, leaving your tongue hanging there, eager and famished.
Once again, she takes one last savory bite and enjoys all of it. Licking her chops to get the smushed parts of it off, she let out a satisfying gulp followed by a sigh, and drops the hollow peel on the ground, next to her hooves, dotted with shining, gold hooflets.
"You greedy.. Jerk," you growl. You weren't hungry before she pulled the fruit out, but now that you saw her devouring it, you're starving.
"Oh, don't be silly." Celestia acts as if nothing happens. "I'm not a jerk. That's a sudden movement."
Troll.
The mare revs her magic again, and makes a watch appear. She casually places it on her wrist and giggles like a schoolfilly.
"Well, it's 6:50," she announces. "I'd better get to rising the sun. Ya know, because it's my job."
"Ya wanna say your grade point average, too?" you remark.
"Hey hey, simmer down. Now you get to have fun with your-" She smushes her cheeks together and her eyes twinkle. "-Favorite Princess Luna!" She puts her hooves down angrily, grumbles something, and walks out of the dungeon, closing the door behind her.
Shortly after, Luna walks in, a surprising smile on her navy blue face. She is also carrying a saddlebag with her cutiemark.
"You don't have a banana in there, too, right?" you ask suspiciously.
"Of course not," she says regally, but still cheerfully. She sits down and starts to unlatch her own bag. "I presume my sister has already told you that we will be switching shifts. And in the case neither of us can be here one day, a guard will attend you?"
"She didn't tell me the last part."
"Oh. Well now you know," she booms, and pulls a familiar looking utensil out of her bag. "Anyway, we shall carry on now. For the next 11 hours, we will learn about the history of the spoon."
