Pinkie Pie Purchases an iPhone Six Plus
It was a beautiful, typical, sunny day in Ponyville. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. Humming a happy tune, Pinkie Pie was skipping along the path toward Sweet Apple Acres.
A normal day for Pinkie usually consists of working a few hours at Sugar Cube Corner and going for a walk to talk to everypony she can meet in town. She already ate a flower from Roseluck's flower stand, gave a compliment to Mr. Waddle that made blood rush to his face, among other areas, and greeted the Cutie Mark Crusaders as they went on another adventure that would surely end in yet another failure. It was just another typical day in the tame Equine town.
But as Pinkie Pie ascended the hill, she noticed Applejack had a stand set up along the main path. Maybe it wouldn't be a normal day after all.
As Pinkie got closer, she noticed one difference in Applejack's stand—the symbol on the top. It wasn't the typical red apple symbol of the farm that the Ponyvillians came to love. Rather, this time the symbol was a two-dimensional silver apple with a bite taken out of its right side.
"Hiya, Pinkie Pie," Applejack responded with a tip of her hat.
"Hey, Applejack," Pinkie responded happily. "Why'd you change your symbol? And why are you wearing a blue shirt with a nametag on it?"
"Ah sell apples and Apple accessories," Applejack responded.
"Yeah, I knew that a long time ago," Pinkie replied.
"Well, Ah broke into Twilight's castle a few weeks ago and went into the portal to the human world. Ah found a place called the Apple Store. However, their apples tasted like aluminum and plastic. But then Ah realised that their apples are actually used for talking to other people who also have apples and for listening to music and stuff. So Ah stole a whole bunch of them, and now Ah'm selling them to y'all for a fair price."
Pinkie pondered for a second. She looked at Applejack's display. In front of her were a few different, oddly shaped and coloured apples, all with weird names. One was called an iPod, one was called an iPhone Six Plus, and another was called an iWatch. None of them looked appetizing, so Pinkie decided to lay her eyes on the iPhone Six Plus, which was the biggest apple of the bunch.
"How much for that one?"
"Well, at the Apple Store, they were charging something like one thousand dollars for it. I think in our currency, that's three bits."
"What a steal!" Pinkie Pie said as she pulled out three bits from the pocket of her fur, which somehow exists only when she wants it to.
"Enjoy your purchase!" Applejack said happily. "Twilight also bought one from me, and she knows how to use it because of going to the human world already, so you can talk to her about it."
"Thanks, Applejack!"
After licking her new iPhone Six Plus, Pinkie Pie confirmed that it was indeed not for eating. Why it was considered an apple, she would never figure out. Humans are weird creatures.
That afternoon, the pink mare went to Twilight's and the princess helped her figure out how to use the new device. It was actually an electronic device used for fun, business, and communication, with endless possibilities. The two of them could communicate by means of the internet, which never existed in Equestria, but thanks to Twilight's magic, both phones were connected wirelessly to each other.
Pinkie Pie thanked Twilight for showing her how to use the phone and left for the day.
Five Seconds Later
Pinkie Pie: Hi Twily
Twilight Sparkle: Hey Pinkie Pie. It's interesting to see that the text message feature works.
Pinkie Pie: Yeash it5s awrsoemesa
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, these devices weren't made for hooves. You should turn on autocorrect so that it can fix your mistakes and make texting easier for you.
Pinkie Pie: Okieuy Dfokie Lokiwe
Twenty Seconds Later
Pinkie Pie: I turned on auto corn dog
Twilight Sparkle: You mean autocorrect?
Pinkie Pie: Of course silly
Twilight Sparkle: You should really proof read your messages before you send them. Autocorrect isn't foolproof. It will save you embarrassment one day if you just proof read.
Pinkie Pie: Haha ok Ill do that thanks Twily love ya
Twilight Sparkle shuddered at the horrible lack of grammar. Text speak was not for a sophisticated alicorn like her.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, take care, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Im gonna go home right now because Im really horny
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Pinkie Pie: horny sorry
Twilight Sparkle: Still, what?
Pinkie Pie: horny
Pinkie Pie: HORNY
Pinkie Pie: H U N G R Y
Pinkie Pie: Mother ducking celestial auto cock rocket
Pinkie Pie: Forget it
Twilight Sparkle: ...
Twilight could not respond. She was in tears due to laughter.
Pinkie Pie put the iPhone Six Plus back into the pocket in her fur as she facehoofed hard due to her embarrassed texting. She would definitely have to practice how to use such a tiny screen with her big meaty hooves.
Eventually, Pinkie returned home. She sat down on her bed.
Pulling her apple out, she asked, "Why is it bent now?" Figuring that it was a special feature of the advanced human technology that she couldn't fully comprehend, she shrugged it off.
The afternoon went on. After texting Twilight almost non-stop for an hour, the alicorn had enough, and she ended up giving the earth pony Rainbow Dash's number, as Dash had also purchased an new apple from Applejack. Now Pinkie Pie had two friends to talk to. Texting commenced.
Pinkie Pie: Hey this is Pinkie Pie is this Rainbow Dash
Rainbow Dash: Heck yeah it is! Hey Pinkie, what's up? :)
Pinkie Pie: Oh nothing just texting you on my new Apple and its so awesome
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, it is. I really like the autocorrect part and the games.
Pinkie Pie: Auto cucumber doesnt always work with me but ya its cool
Pinkie Pie: Sometimes when I want to type God when Im mad it changes it to Steve Jobs and I dont know who that even is
Rainbow Dash: Well, you have to read your messages before you send them, silly :)
Pinkie Pie: Twily said that to but thats so boring and takes to long
Rainbow Dash: It doesn't bother me, but you know that egghead, everything always has to be perfect XD
Pinkie Pie: Hey whats the XD and :) mean
Rainbow Dash: That's a laugh and smile symbol. ;) is a winky face.
Pinkie Pie: Oooooh thats cool
Rainbow Dash: Say, what are you doing right now?
Pinkie Pie thought for a second. "I'm just home right now. I could just ask Rainbow to come over and hang out," she said out loud.
Pinkie Pie: Im homosexual now and you can cum inside if you want ;)
There was a knock at the door.
