The Portal

by Etiquette

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Sex
Length: 5755

Anon tries to go back home; Anon in Equestria, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Mature, Clop, Random, Silly, Alcohol, Hijinks, Unwanted Affection

Pinkie Pie is throwing a party for all of MLP. Anon learns that Pinkie knows how to send him back to Earth.

This story is a birthday tribute to MLP.

Published 2014-10-10 18:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-10 18:50:06 UTC

The Portal

Author's Note

I wrote this story last year as a tribute to MLP's birthday.

The Portal

Today is the day of everypony's birthday in Equestria. You didn't know that six hours ago when you woke up at 2 pm. As you hang out in your living room watching some paint dry (yes, that's seriously the most interesting thing you could think to do at the time) there's a knock on your front door. It's weird for anyone to come around in the evening... Fluttershy always shows up in the morning, and then for whatever reason, never again in the same day... You wonder why that is. If she's so obsessed with you, shouldn't she be around 24/7? Probably best not to question it. The less you have to deal with her, the better. Man this has been a long walk to the door. Once you reach the door, you swing it open.

"Hey. Who's there?"

It might sound stupid to ask, but it's actually a damn good question. You know, since there's absolutely nothing there.

"Uhh... Hello?" You stick your head out and crane your neck to look around.

Nope. Still nothing. Back to the paint then... You close the door and turn around.

"HEYA NONNY!" A pink blur jumps up and latches itself onto your chest.

"Dear God, it's HAPPENING!" You shout, running to your hall closet and producing a crowbar. "ACTIVATE PROTOCAL: GORDON FREEMAN" You wedge the crowbar between yourself and the demonic glob of bubble gum and pull. The assailant giggles and pops off as you bring your weapon high into the air for a swing.

"That was fun, Nonny! What's Gordon Freeman?"

Once you realize that the threat was simply an overly-emotional Pinkie hug, you lower the crowbar and grasp at your chest.

"Jesus, Pinkie. You scared the ever-loving shit out me. Never do that again."

Pinkie pouts. "Aw, but you were so funny! You were all like 'Ah, a Pinkie!'" she theatrically covers her mouth with her hooves while looking to her right. "And I was all 'Ah, a crowbar!'" she repeats the action while looking to her left and then bursts out into a fit of laughter, rolling around on the floor.

"Yeah, yeah, Pinkie. Hilarious," you say as you put away your crowbar for later "emergencies".

"So what did you want anyway?"

Pinkie gasps and bolts straight upright, "I almost forgot!" She produces a cannon from out of nowhere and points it in your direction.

"PINKIE, WHAT ARE YOU-"

It fires, producing streamers and confetti.

"I'm throwing a BIRTHDAY PARTY!"

You clutch your heart again. This fucking pony...

You take a few deep breaths before asking, "Okay, so when is this party, Pinkie?"

She grins. "Oh silly Nonny. It's riiiiiight NOW!"

Pinkie flails her arms into the air in a flourish and your vision goes hazy. You feel all wibbly and wobbly. In fact, you're getting a little nauseous... But, as soon as the feeling begins, it's over.

You find yourself standing in front of Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie at your side.

"Oh Nonny! I'm so glad you decided to come!"

You blink and few times and shake your head. "But... but... -you- brought us here!"

She giggles. "Of course! We wouldn't want to miss any of the party, would we?" Pinkie starts to trot into the building, rolling her eyes and simulating wackiness. "You're so silly sometimes, Anon."

There's no use in arguing with Pinkie Pie. Instead, you simply sigh and join her inside.

Once you catch back up to her, a thought occurs to you: "Pinkie, who's birthday party is this, anyway?"

She gasps and turns to you in shock. "It's everypony's, silly! We were all born three years ago!" She leans up close to you and whispers into your ear. "We're all actually in a TV show."

Satisfied, she happily trots off to mingle. For a moment, you're flabbergasted. Pinkie actually knows that they're all characters in a television show? That would explain a lot... All of her weird powers and Pinkie Sense and the fourth-wall-breaking. But wait... Does that mean? Is it possible that she might know how to cross over to your world?

"PINKIE!" You rush back over to her side.

"Oh, hiya Nonny. Enjoying the party?"

You hook your hands under her forehooves and hoist her up to your eye level.

Pinkie wriggles in your grasp. "Whee! I'm so high up!"

You stare straight into her eyes. "Pinkie, do you know how I could get to Earth?"

She simply laughs and smiles. "Well, of course I do, Non-non."

Again, you're taken aback by her answer. Your mouth gapes and your grip on the pink pony loosens. She lands on the floor with a slight clop.

Still in a state of shock, you ask her again, "You know how to get me back to Earth?"

She nods, smiling wide. "It's super duper easy."

Your eyes light up and you throw off you stupor. "Then let's do it, Pinkie! Take me back to Earth!"

Her happy demeanor fades and is replaced with a frown. "You want to leave in the middle of our birthday party, Nonny?" She looks up to you with teary eyes. Her lips quiver and her mane looks like it's about to deflate... somehow. "Do you really not like us that much?" It looks like she's about to burst into tears.

You sigh and kneel down to her. "No, no. It's not that, Pinkie. It's just that it's been a while since I've been home and..."

Her lip still quivers. The sight of her in this emotional state brings a pang of sadness to your heart.

"I mean... Of course I'll celebrate your birthday with you."

Pinkie's depression is wiped away instantly and she wraps her hooves around your neck, pulling you into a deep hug. "Yay! I'll make it sure it's super fun, okay Nonny?"

You can't help but chuckle. "Aren't all Pinkie parties?"

The two of you pull away from your hug.

"You bet!"

"But after the party you have to make sure that you tell me how to get back, okay?"

"Okay!" She smiles and looks across the room, "But first up, cider pong!"

Pinkie takes your hand and drags you along to a rather neglected table with a bunch of stacked up cups sitting on it. It actually looks exactly like the same setup as the version you play at home. Looks like this might be pretty fun after all...

"You know how to set everything up, right Nonny?" Pinkie asks.

"Uhh... If it's anything like the game I think it is, I'll manage."

"Great! In that case, I'm going to go round us up some partners!" she grins as she rockets off into the next room.

You take the time to set out ten cups on each side, pouring an equal amount of cider in each one. By the time you're pouring the last bit of alcohol into the final cup, Pinkie reemerges with an excited teal unicorn and an apprehensive cream-colored earth pony.

"I don't know about this, Lyra... I've never played before."

Should have known Bon Bon would have no experience around balls...

"Pfft... Aw, it's easy Bonnie. You just have to get the ball into one of the other team's cups. If you do, they have to drink it!"

Pinkie giggles. "Yup! That's right!"

She trots to the side of the table opposite you and eyes the two new ponies. "So... I'm thinking me and Lyra against you and Bon Bon. What do you think, Nonny?"

Bon Bon stares up at you, shaking nervously while Lyra's eyes betray a hint of rivalry. Looks like you wouldn't be able to talk yourself out of this one if you tried.

"Yeah, sure."

The two mares trot over to their respective teammates.

"So how are we starting? Eye-to-eye?"

"Of course! But..." Pinkie puts a hoof to her chin in contemplation, "it wouldn't be fair for you to shoot with one of us since you're so much taller. So why don't we let Bon Bon and Lyra face off?"

You sigh. She has a point.

"You think you can do this, BB?"

She takes the ball as you hand it to her. "Umm... I'm not sure, Anon."

"Just do your best, okay?"

She nods and faces Lyra.

"On 'shoot!'" Pinkie chirps.

The two mares limber up and glare directly at each other.

"1, 2, 3, shoot!"

Lyra's shot sinks straight into one of your back cups. Bon Bon's sails straight over the back of the table. Great... You should have figured as much.Pinkie and Lyra take turns sinking throw after throw. They knock out five of your cups on their first turn alone. They give each other a hoof bump as the balls transition to your side of the table. You pull Bon Bon aside to give her a quick pep talk.

"Alright, BB. Beer- er, cider pong is easy. The technique is all in the wrist."

"But Anon, I don't have any wrists..."

You stare at her hooves blankly. "Right... Well then, just don't fuck it up."

You pat her on the back and turn back to the table.

"Hurry up, losers! I don't have all night to spank your asses!" Lyra taunts, turning to Bon Bon, "Well, maybe one of you..."

"Just take a deep breath, BB. You can do this."

She cocks her hoof to shoot, lining herself up with a cup, and throws the ball. It bounces lamely in the middle of the table before getting swatted away by Lyra.

"You call that a shot, Bonnie?" she bursts into laughter.

Bon Bon sighs and moves out of the way so you can shoot.

"Good try, girl."

You pick out a cup in the back as your target, lining up your own shot and letting go. The ball sails elegantly through the air... before hitting the rim of the cup and bouncing away.

"Aw, good shot, Nonny! You got really close," Pinkie consoles.

The rest of the game follows basically the same formula and you only end up sinking a single shot.

"Alright losers," Lyra levitates her and Pinkie's nine leftover cups to your side of the table, "Drink up!" she cackles as you and Bon Bon slam down cup after cup in shame.

Wow, this stuff is actually pretty strong... You can feel your head start to swim; which makes your next decision seem like a good idea at the time.

"I want a rematch!"

Bon Bon shudders and glances back over to you. "Are you sure you want to do that, Anon?"

You smile and pat her on the head. "Sure, you just need some more practice!"

"If you say so..."

"BB, what could go wrong?"

Next thing you know, you're singing silly songs with your arm around Pinkie and a lamp shade on your head. Most of the party's guests have gone home.

"Smy-ul! Smy-ul! Smiiiiiiiile! Cummon and smile!"

You have a huge grin on your face and you take another sip of your cider. Some of it dribbles down your chin when you tip it a little too far.

"I love that song. It's sucha good song." You rub the shoulder of the pony next to you. "We should sing ittagin!"

"Yeah!" a cute-sounding voice answers you.

You lift the lamp shade from your head and turn to see a cotton candy mane. "Pinkie! Whereya been?"

You take another sip from your cup. "Weren't chu supposta tell me somefin?"

She cocks her head to the side before she makes a sound like snapping fingers with her hoof. "Oh yeah! I was gonna show you how to go back home!"

"Yeah! That wassit!" You clap your hands together, knocking your cup out of them. Pointing at the spilled beverage, you look to Pinkie. "When'd that happen?"

Pinkie just giggles. "Well, if you want to go back home, we should go to my room." She leans up and whispers into your ear. "The method is kinda private."

You just shrug and follow her upstairs, trying to take a sip of your nonexistent drink.

"Hey Ponko, where'd mah drinkko?"

Once in Pinkie's room, she shuts the door behind you and hops up onto her bed. Her bed looks so soft.

"Your bed looksso soft, Peen Key."

She laughs again. "You can sit on it if you want, Nonny. I won't bite."

You make your way over and plop down, pressing your face into her plush covers.

"Don't fall asleep now, Non-non." she giggles. "You need to be awake to use the portal."

"The whanna?"

"The portal, silly." She arches her back, pushing her forehooves out in front of her and presenting her backside to you. "If you want to get home, you have to go through the portal in my Pinkie pie."

You chuckle to yourself. Pinkie's pie...

"And I'm pretty sure that you have to go dick-first or it won't work." She eyes you from her doggy-style position. "I know that you don't really like ponies like that, but it's the only way."

You shrug. "Whatever you say, Panky."

With all the confidence of the black-out drunk you are, you reach down and remove your pants and boxers. It seems that Pinkie is already leaking fluids and undulating. You shrug again and plunge yourself into her pink pussy.

After Anon thrusts into you a few hard times, you attempt to instruct him between your moans "Oh, and you have to cum for it to work. Okay, Nonny?"

As soon as you say this, the thrusting behind you stops. Anon must have had his orgasm and returned to his home planet. While it's still sad, they probably needed him. For a while you simply lie there, letting his disappearance sink in.

You're about to sit up so that you can go to the restroom and clean up when you hear a loud snoring from directly behind you. You turn around to find Anon, slumped over and passed out. His dick is still hard. Guess he didn't cum after all.

You giggle, "Silly Non-non."

You pull him by the collar and adjust him in your bed so that you can cover him up. Quietly, you get in with him and snuggle up to his chest. Might as well enjoy the company while you can. The other guests will know how to show themselves out.

When you wake up it's already morning. And you have a pounding headache. At least this fluffy pink pillow is incredibly comfortable. Wait... This isn't your house. You bolt up in bed, disturbing the pink pony next to you.

She yawns and smiles at you. "Good morning, Nonny. Did you sleep well?"

You jump out of bed, your morning wood showing proudly. "Pinkie? What am I doing in your bed?" You look down. "And why am I naked?"

Pinkie giggles. "We tried to send you through the portal last night, silly. You don't remember?" She puts a hoof to her chin. "Well, you -were- pretty drunk!"

"A... portal?"

She nods. "Yup! My Pinkie portal!" She points to her crotch.

You feel your face turn pale. "Look, Pinkie. There's no way I would have done that. I'm just not into ponies like that."

She pouts. "Yeah huh! It just didn't work because you didn't shoot your cake batter ins-"

You stick your fingers in your ears and hum loudly, trying to drown out her voice. "Lalalalala-!"

With your fingers still inserted in your ears, you shout, "Look, I think I better go. Just forget about the portal thing, okay?"

You quickly grab your clothes and head home. Portal...Yeah right. Like you'd ever catch yourself...

Fucking Pinkie Pie.

The Portal, Anniversary

Author's Note

This story was written a year after the first part as a sequel, so please forgive me if I tread a bit of the same ground. Happy Birthday MLP!

The Portal, Anniversary

You wake up to annoying vibrating and yipping noises. You roll over and grope around for your alarm clock but the noises won’t stop. They start to coalesce into a high-pitched amalgamation of words.

”Nonny. Hey Anon. Non-Non, wake up!”

Refusing to open your eyes, you reach for the source of the sound. Your hand brushes up against a coarse, mesh tangle. Pressing further, you bump against a fuzzy mound of flesh.

”Hehe. Stop it Nonny, that tickles!”

The entity before you snorts and you echolocate your target. You quickly bring your arm back, coiling it like a serpent and, in a flash, you strike out... and delicately boop Pinkie’s snout. She goes cross-eyed momentarily, following your pointer’s movement.

“Five more minutes...”

Pinkie wrinkles her nose and whines, “Aww... But Nonny, today’s our birthday party! You wouldn’t want to miss any of the action, would you?”

You mumble groggily, “‘Our party?’ What in Equestria are you talking about, you crazy horse?”

Pinkie gasps, inflating like a balloon in mock terror. “Nonny, that’s terrible! I could understand forgetting Gummy’s birthday, or maybe even Fluttershy’s, but to forget everyone’s? That’s real cold, mister.” She crosses her forehooves in front of her and huffs.

You bury your face deeper into your pillow and your words come out muffled. “Pinkie, I have no idea what you’re talking about...”

”You don’t remember last year?”

“What about it?”

”I threw a positively personable and palilalial Pinkie pony party! Don’t you remember, Nonny? Don’t ya? Don’t ya?”

You can feel Pinkie’s weight on your bed as she cranes over you. Reluctantly, you decide to roll over and face her. Her face is closer than you thought it’d be...

“Pinkie, you throw so many parties it’s hard to remember them all.”

”It’s not -that- hard, silly. Last year was the one where we played cider pong with Lyra and BonBon.”

A small synapse fires off in your brain.

“Oh God... Was that the time we played like... 10 rounds of cider pong and I lost every one?”

Pinkie giggles and smiles, “See, you remembered.”

“Well, actually, that night’s really fuzzy. I don’t really remember anything else...”

Pinkie’s mane flattens somewhat and her mouth quivers. “So you don’t remember that night?”

You scratch the back of your head and try to concentrate, but you access nothing but fog.

“Nope, sorry.”

She sniffles.

“But that’s probably a good thing,” you offer weakly. “Some of the best nights of my life are ones I can’t remember.”

Pinkie peps up instantly. “Great! So you’re coming to the party then?”

You can’t help but smile. “Of course, Pinkie. I wouldn’t miss it for the wor-”

”Woo-hoo!” she shouts, producing a noisemaker and a party hat from thin air. “See you there, Nonny!”

She blares the noisemaker as she slams the party hat over your head. The hat crashes down on your skull and its brim sinks below your eyes, cutting off your field of vision. At the same moment, you begin to feel dizzy and your limbs start to feel heavy. The wail of the noisemaker deepens and elongates, creating a low, monotone bass. The blackness of your lost vision becomes a single pinpoint of light. Though you feel as though your appendages should be forcing you downward, you start to feel a suction at the apex of your skull where the hat rests against your head. The dot of light rushes toward you, ushering in the panorama that is the cosmos. Your body seems to be pulled up and down simultaneously until you are thin and wiry. The hat then slurps you up, swallowing you whole.

You blink. And find yourself in front of a laser-lit, thumping Sugarcube Corner, morning long since passed.

”Oh Non-Non, you made it!” chirps Pinkie from the doorway.

The queasiness in your stomach prevents you from addressing her.

Right... This is starting to feel familiar again.

“Yeah... Thanks for the ride, Pinkie...”

Two familiar faces trot up next to you as you regain your composure.

”Nice outfit, Anon.” Lyra smirks.

You peer down at your attire to find that you’re still decked out in your pajamas from earlier in the day.

Momentarily glaring at Pinkie Pie, you turn your attention back to Lyra and scoff. “At least I’m wearing something, you stank.”

Lyra simply chuckles. “Try not to fall in love while I walk away, monkey boy.”

Bon Bon smiles nervously and accompanies Lyra inside. You watch their flanks jiggle. Stupid ponies...

At least you were agitated enough to snap out of your nausea. You make your way inside and Pinkie gives you a thumbs up. Or a hoof up. Or something. Somehow the understanding is there.

”I think you look nice, Nonny; very comfortable, very confident.”

“Heh, thanks Pink.”

You lean over and whisper in her ear, “But maybe next time you could wait for me to change?”

”Aww, but you’re so slow, Non-Non.”

“Well, it’s true that I don’t have the same authority over time and spa-”

Pinkie seems to blur momentarily.

She gives you a broad smile and pats you on the back, ushering you inside. “There. That’s better, right?”

“Better? What are you talking about?”

She escorts you over to the punch table and hands you a cup. When you reach up to take it, you see the familiar black fabric of your trademark suit adorning your arm. By now you should know better than to question Pinkie Pie. For the time being, you’ll just be glad that it’s working out to your benefit.

You take a sip of your drink. It’s pretty sugary, but if the empty bottles surrounding the bowl are to be believed, it could knock you on your ass.

“Alright Pinks, what’s on the agenda for tonight?”

Pinkie whacks her hoof on the punch table, popping some of her recently-ladled beverage into the air at a trajectory perfectly aimed for her mouth. She gulps it down in one go and licks her lips.

“We could always play cider pong again!”

You scoff and take another swig. “No thanks. I don’t want another repeat of last year.”

You don't think so, at least.

“What else do you ponies know how to play?”

”Hmm, let’s see...” Pinkie taps her hoof to her chin, “There’s I Never, Snap, Thirty One...” Her voice trails off as you focus on a stack of party cups on the table. ”Waterfall, Thumper...”

“Pinkie, do you still have that long table in the kitchen?”

”Sure, Nonny.”

“How about Flip Cup?”

”Ooh! I like that one!”

“Let’s do it.”

As you clear the table and get everything ready, Pinkie roams the party and rounds up a meager squad of recruits: Vinyl, Berry Punch, Big Mac, Derpy, and, to your surprise, Octavia.

“I would've thought you’d be too proper for these kinds of parties, Octy.”

She gives you a reserved smirk, “No pony misses a Pinkie Pie party.” She turns to the white unicorn beside her, “Besides, Vinyl wouldn’t have let me stay home.”

“Alright, so everyone knows how to play, right?”

The mares all nod and Big Mac gives his signature ‘Eeyup.’

”But don’t we need one more? We’ve uneven teams, Anon.”

A quick head count confirms Octavia’s suspicions. You spot Rarity’s signature coiling purple tail and step over your entourage. Any port in a storm, right?

“I’m on it. You guys start picking teams.”

Passing through the doorway, you call out to your unicorn friend.

“Yo Rare, We need another for Flip...” It’s only once you clear the threshold that you’re able to take notice of whom Rarity was conversing with. “Cup...”

Fluttershy’s ears perk up and she pops up into the air, floating gently. “I’ll do it!” She turns to Rarity. “If that’s okay, I mean...”

Rarity makes a scootching motion with her hoof. “Of course, dear. You two have fun.” She catches sight of a dapper young stallion as he exits from the kitchen behind you. “And I’ll have mine.” Winking, she follows after her stud. “Yoo hoo!”

Fluttershy floats a little closer. “I-It’s good to see you, A-Anon... You know, we didn’t get to s-see each other last year...”

“Yeah, yeah, Flutters. Good to see you and all that.”

You swiftly grab her by the hoof, causing her to jump a bit, and tote her back into the kitchen. When you arrive at the table, the teams look to have been settled already. Pinkie, Big Mac, Berry Punch, and Octavia stand across from Derpy and Vinyl.

Okay, to be fair, Berry is slouching more than she is standing. One point in favor of your team. Still, looks like you’ll be stuck with the dead weight of Derpy and Fluttershy.

“So this is how it’s gonna be, huh?”

”Mmhmm,” Pinkie beams. “And we thought we’d make things interesting by using punch instead of cider!”

You glower a bit at the prospect.

“What are ya Anon a lightweight?” Berry slurs as her eyes attempt to focus on you. “Or justa pussy?”

“Oh, you’re on, bitch.”

You huddle up your team to talk strategy. “Alright girls, drink fast and flip well. I want Vinyl up front, Derpy second, Fluttershy third, and I’ll bring us home. Got it?”

“Got it.”

"Go team on three. One, two, three.”

”Go team!”

Your team breaks into their positions and you find yourself eyeing down Big Mac. He’s probably anchoring for them as well.

“Okay. Ready. Set... Go!”

Vinyl slugs her drink down. Setting her cup on the edge, she futilely tries to upend it a few times. In the meantime, Pinkie finishes her drink and sets her cup down. She hits her cup in an arc that should clearly overshoot the table.

“Haha, good try Pinki-”

Well, it -should have- but before falling past the boundary of the table, it tumbles in mid-air, suspended, and then slides back onto the table rim-down.

”Your turn, Berry!”

“Ffffffffffffff- Figured everything out over there, Vinyl?”

You can tell that she’s starting to lose her cool.

Berry’s drink sloshes into her belly and she seems to have to try to concentrate just to line her cup bottom up to the edge. At least that’s in your favor...

After a few more tries, Vinyl nearly gets her cup to land square. You see a faint pink glow surround her horn and her cup settles.

Derpy suckles at her drink, draining it slowly.

By this time Berry has managed to flip her cup once, unsuccessfully, and almost forget that she was playing a game.

Derpy finishes off her beverage and sets up her flip. She presses her muzzle up against the table and uses her wings to propel her body upward while spreading her arms and legs wide in joy. It’s... actually pretty adorable. And miraculously, it actually works.

Unfortunately, Berry’s cup also manages to land correctly. At least you’re all tied up again.

You watch as Fluttershy nervously sips at her drink while Octavia elegantly, yet quickly, downs hers.

“Faster Fluttershy! You gotta chug that shit, son!”

Seemingly inspired by your words, she knocks the rest of her mixture down.

”N-Now what?”

“What do you mean? Flip it!”

She reels back in shock from your outburst, fluttering her wings; the air of which causes her cup to do a single gentle tumble in the air and land on the table. You’re taken aback for a moment as you revel in the sheer statistical impossibility of what you just witnessed. But in that moment, Octavia daintily upends her cup in a similar single-flip act of grace.

You snap to attention. Both you and Big Mac slam your alcohol down and set up your cups. The two of you lock eyes again. Time nearly stands still. That is until Big Mac rockets his cup into the air. Shocked, you meagerly send yours aloft. While your cup spins mid-air, Mac’s bounces off the ceiling and lands rim-down on the table, sealing your defeat.

”Ooh, close one,” Pinkie chirps.

Fluttershy looks to you. ”Did... Did we lose?”

Your cup rolls awkwardly on its side trying to settle.

“‘Fraid so, Flutterbutt.”

”And Vinyl and Fluttershy cheated,” Octavia smirks. “No magic or wing power allowed.”

Pinkie gasps and then tuts. “That’s a penalty drink for each of you.” She then produces eight more cups of alcohol from the nether, six of which are held by extraneous, likely temporary, appendages. “Per occurrence.”

You groan, but comply. “Wow, these drinks are starting to taste preeeetty good. How’s about we have ourselves a little rematch?”

Your rematch ends the same way it did before. So you rematch again, but change your order. And lose again. So the next time you try switching up the teams. After another hour or so, you’re completely smashed.

Your head swims as you try to switch places with Big Mac. Faltering, your thumb practically probes Mac’s asshole as you try to catch your step.

“Haha. Sorry there... buckooooo. Almost gave you a Pooper Scooper haaa.”

They say that memories work situationally based on mental state. Like if you’re angry when you learn something, the best way to remember that piece of information is to get angry again. So now that you’re blasted, you begin to recall something very important...

“Oh shit! I left my wallet on the -couch- that night at Becky’s place.”

No wait, that wasn’t it... Suddenly, memories of last year’s party come flooding back.

You snatch Pinkie up by her waist and whisper in her ear, “I want to cum inside.”

She giggles. “I thought you’d never ask!”

The two of you break away from the party and retreat back down the familiar hall to Pinkie’s room.

”I’m so happy you remembered, Non-Non!” She cups her hoof in mock secrecy, “I’ve been really pent up lately.”

You slump down on Pinkie’s bed as she bustles around her room.

“Yeah that must be... terrible and stuff. Damn your bed is soft.”

Pinkie digs away in her closet, scattering her assortment of wacky paraphernalia: swim fins, Kanye shades, top hats.

”And I got to thinking that maybe the next time I make the ‘ol’ whoopie cushion’ it should be super duper extra fun.”

As if on cue, a flaccid fart noise sounds off from one of Pinkie’s tossed toys.

“Uh huh.”

You’re still distracted by Pinkie’s plush sheets.

”And I thought ‘What’s more fun than femdom?’ Am I right?” Pinkie chortles as she produces a length of rope.

“Haha. Whaaat?”

”Great! Then I’ll take it from here, Nonny.”

In no time, you’re tied up spread-eagle and naked under a latex-clad Pinkie Pie. Though you may not be into ponies, there’s more than enough bells ringing along to your domination fetish. And something about ponies wearing clothes rubs you the right way. Oh right, that something is Pinkie’s hoof at the moment. She tenderly strokes your cock with her gloved hoof. The rubber of the latex causes smooth but warm friction as she slides it along your member.

“That feels goo-”

Pinkie presses her hoof against you forcefully, cutting you off and causing your erection to ache. “Did Mistress Pinkie say you could talk, worm?” After a few moments of painful silence, she leans down to your ear and whispers gleefully, “You can answer that one, Non-Non.”

You mutter meekly, “No.”

”That’s ‘No, Mistress Pinkie’ to you, worm!” she shouts as she slaps you across the face.

“Yes, Mistress Pinkie.”

”Good boy,” she coos, alleviating the pressure from her hoof and instead crawling on top of you to straddle your cock.

The heat from her pussy radiates through your shaft as her dampness cascades around you. Slowly, she gyrates her hips, rubbing her moist lips along the entirety of your member.

”You should feel lucky that I’m even wasting my time on this limp noodle you call a dick,” she berates, trying to stifle a moan.

“Yes, Mistress Pinkie.”

Her breath becomes shallower and beads of sweat begin to run down her black rubber. She presses her body into you harder with each passing thrust.

Panting, she scowls, ”I bet you even think your sorry cock is worthy of entering me, don’t you?”

You grit your teeth in pleasure. “Yes, Mistress Pinkie.”

”Maybe I’ll let you; if you can convince me with your mouth.”

Leaning over you, Pinkie grabs a nearby collar and leash and fastens it to your neck.

“Please, Mistress Pinkie. Please let me pleasure your perfect pussy with my pitiful cock.”

She smirks coyly. “Good try, Nonny, but I had something else in mind.”

Pinkie’s slick muff separates from the tip of your dick, leaving thin strands of mixed love juices desperately attempting to bridge the gap. She crawls slowly up your torso, her dripping sex quickly cooling as it drops to your chest, until she presses herself against your chin.

”Bon appetit,” she grins, tugging against your leash and forcing your mouth against her overflowing mound.

Your tongue sinks deep into her folds, eagerly working to appease your pink and black captor. Her nectar is sweet and you gulp it down in waves as the rest dribbles down your chin. Pinkie arches and moans, yanking on your leash and pulling you even deeper into her cascade. Your tongue darts around viciously, prodding every inch of Pinkie’s inner wall, driving her frenzied grunts into higher and more frantic octaves. Her breathing becomes hitched and you decide to finish her off. Having caught onto the rhythm of her undulating, you time yourself and pull Pinkie’s clit into your mouth creating a seal and suckling at it.

”Yes, Nonny!” she shouts, hips buckling and body quaking, “That’s it! I’m gonna-”

The floodgates shatter and your chin is met with a deluge of liquid relief. Pinkie’s body shudders as it is wracked in orgasm. She slides off your face and collapses into a puddle of pleased pony.

After a moment, you hear a light snoring.

“Umm... Mistress Pinkie...?”

You struggle lightly against your restraints.

“Mistress Pinkie?”

Her snoring grows louder.

Great...

The sound of creaking alerts you to Pinkie’s door.

”Umm... P-Pinkie Pie?”

Oh no...

”I-Is everything alright? I heard-”

Please. Anyone but...

”Oh my...” Fluttershy stands ogling you from the doorway.

“Great! Now that you’re here you can totally untie me and we can get back to-”

She starts walking toward you, eyes half-lidded. “It must really be my birthday...”

“No, no, no. Fluttershy, you don’t have to do this. You can just walk away.”

She scoops a pair of Pinkie’s panties from the floor into her hoof.

“Fluttershy? Flutter-”

Stuffing them into your mouth, she climbs into bed with you.

And that’s how you ended up spending all night unwillingly...

Fucking Fluttershy.