Don't Question It.

by Runnermist

First published January 1st, 1970 00:00

Pinkie Pie is not questioned. It's just something you don't do. But like everything, there's a reason why.

When she was a little filly, a sonic rainboom gave her power. Power of extreme memory, of constant joy, and of epic parties. It took her a bit, but she learned to control it. Mostly.

Then The Lord of Chaos, creator of Discord and one of the 10 most powerful beings besides the surprisingly sentient universe, came and asked Pinkie to be her minion. She would gain the power to traverse the dimensions, mess with physics, and annoy beings of order without fear of recumbence. The only catch was that she would be sent on weird missions occasionally. The answer was obvious.

These are the stories of those weird missions. Whatever may happen, things always work out in the end. For the most part, anyways.

Chapters

The Noodle Incident

The Noodle Incident
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Don't Question It.

The Noodle Incident

"Oi! Pinkie!" Amy trotted up to her in the form of a pony. She often turned into a pony "in order to retain subtlety". Pinkie Pie was pretty sure she just liked being a quadraped. Amy passed her a note. "This is seriously important, so I'm counting on you, okay?" There was the smile. Every one of Amy's minions loved that smile, because it meant they were doing something fun.

"Okie Dokie, Loki! I got it! I'll get on that ASAP!" The two ponies parted ways, to find themselves in separate, secluded areas and traverse the dimensions once more.

~*~*~*~*~

Calvin Frazz was a very rambunctious kindergartener. His parents often wondered what they'd been thinking when they'd decided to have a kid. But now, it was lunchtime. Calvin had forgotten his lunch, and he didn't have any money to get some from the cafeteria. On a snap of quick decision, he went to root around in the lunch bucket for the whole time. But, to his surprise, his lunch was there. He sat down at the same table he always did, and opened it. After staring into the ominous glow for about 5 seconds, he reached his hand in, and it abruptly shut off. Naturally, he was confused. Lunch boxes didn't normally do that. He glanced around to make sure. No glows. Then he saw the noodles. An idea began to form in his mind.

"Food fight!" He shouted, and the cafeteria erupted into a frenzy. Various foodstuffs were soaring through the sky, and Calvin threw his sandwich at the center of the mob. It disappear in the mass of fighting children. Intriguing. He tried again with an open container of applesauce. Once again, it disappeared. His gaze went towards the noodles. He grabbed the container and carefully popped the lid. He drew his arm back. And launched the noodles into the herd. This time, things did not go as he had expected. The noodles seemed to extend in the writhing mass, binding child to child, forming knots, tripping large groups of children onto the ground. Calvin stared, horrified. So did the teachers, as well as the few students who hadn't been caught in the swarm. Children were crying, now, and nobody could do a thing to stop it. Three words rose above the hubbub; "Calvin did it!"

~*~*~*~*~

Pinkie Pie and Amy looked at each other. This had not gone according to plan at all. They had both taken human form, which was natural for The Lord of Chaos, but not quite so for her minion. Neither of them could question it. They knew that. But this was one of those times where they really, really wanted to. "So, how are you ladies doing?" They turned to see the human form of The Lord of Evil.

"Ah." They said in unison. Then Amy continued with "What are you doing here, Cthulhu?" He shrugged.

"Messing up your plan, mostly. Whatever your plan was, anyways."

"I would insult you, but this fanfic is rated everyone."

"My evil touch knows no reach."

"Shut up."

"Stairs!"

"What?" They turned to look at Pinkie Pie. Then Amy said "Oh! Stairs! I get it! Okay!"