Rocks Are Dumb

by Syeekoh

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 997

Apple Bloom has to do homework.

Apple Bloom is tasked with a homework assignment about rocks.

But she thinks rocks are dumb.

Art gratefully provided to me by Kanzlerin Maud!

Now has a sequel!

Published 2014-10-11 00:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-11 00:30:04 UTC

Dumb Rocks!

Apple Bloom was incredibly bored.

She was so bored, in fact, that she was currently counting the various rocks on the Apple’s apple orchard as she looked out from her window.

There was a pile of tiny rocks about fifty yards away.

There were various smaller rocks scattered around the farm, which Big Mac would most likely remove.

Then there were the larger rocks, impressive in size, that not even Big Mac could remove.

Sighing, she looked away from the window and back to her homework.

Describe the different kinds of rocks.

Apple Bloom groaned. What’s the big deal? A rock is a rock! Why are there different kinds?

She stared at the homework sheet some more. Describe the different kinds of rocks.

Well, there’s pebbles.

She wrote down ‘pebbles’.

And there’s skipping rocks.

She wrote down skipping rocks.

And there’s stones and boulders.

She wrote both of those down as well.

She looked over her homework again, somewhat pleased with the result. She put the homework into her backpack.

“Apple Bloom, it’s time for dinner!”

Apple Bloom grunted. “I’ll be down in a second!” she said. Applejack seemed to have the best timing. Smiling, she trotted downstairs and took a seat at the table, where Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith were seated. Apple Bloom stared down at the bowl in front of her.

It was vegetable stew. She grinned. She liked vegetable stew. She dipped her muzzle in and ate the stew.

When she was finished, she pulled up her muzzle. “Hey, Applejack?”

Applejack lifted her muzzle out of the stew. “What, Apple Bloom?”

“What different kinds of rocks are there?”

“Um,” Applejack said, “I don’t rightly know.” Applejack narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brow. “Well, I guess there’s pebbles, skipping rocks, stones, and boulders.”

Apple Bloom smiled. “That’s what I thought. May I please be excused?”

“Yes you may, Apple Bloom. Thank you for being so polite.” Applejack grinned as Apple Bloom excused herself from the table and went outside. She propped herself up against an apple tree and thought. She thought about a lot of things. Like life, whether or not she’d get her cutie mark tomorrow, and whether or not Snails liked her.

She most definitely wasn’t thinking about rocks.

I mean, why would they even teach us about rocks? It’s not like we’re going to suddenly decide to become rock farmers because of the oh-so-interesting homework assignment we got in primary school about rocks.

Apple Bloom’s musings soon turned into frustrated internal rantings.

On top of that, why do they even teach us half the stuff they teach us? I mean, calculus? Really? The only pony I know the uses calculus on the regular is Twilight, and she’s an egghead. Sure, she may be teaching me cool stuff about potion-making, but she’s still an egghead. I will not grow up to be an egghead, no-sir-ee.

I’ll probably get my cutie mark in something apple-related and work on the farm until I grow old and die… or become an alicorn princess.

Apple Bloom smiled at that thought. A filly could dream, couldn’t she?

“Apple Bloom, wake up! It’s time for school!”

Apple Bloom slowly opened her eyes and focused them to see Applejack, schoolbag in hoof.

“What.” Apple Bloom blinked.

Applejack shook her head. “You fell asleep outside, and we didn’t wanna wake you.”

“Oh, okay,” Apple Bloom said as she stood up, grabbed the bag, and slung it over herself. “See you after school!”

“Alright, sugarcube, see you after school.”

Apple Bloom trotted to the schoolhouse and took her seat, waving to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo as they walked in. When everypony had entered. Cheerilee rapped on the desk.

“Alright, class,” she said, “do I have a volunteer who wants to read their homework assignment to the class?”

Apple Bloom raised her head.

I guess I’ll go. I doubt that anypony here got more answers than I did.

Apple Bloom raised her hoof.

Cheerilee scanned the classroom and spotted Apple Bloom’s hoof. “Ah, yes, Apple Bloom! Would you like to read your homework to the class?”

“Yes I would, Miss Cheerilee!” she said as she fished into her bag and pulled out her assignment.

Apple Bloom cleared her throat. “Well, Miss Cheerilee, I have determined there are four kinds of rocks: pebbles, skipping rocks, stones, and boulders.”

The entire class, along with Cheerilee, stared in shocked silence at Apple Bloom, who was smiling until she gazed around the classroom and noticed the weird glances they were giving her.

“What’d I say?” she asked. “I’ve determined that there are four different kinds of rocks.”

Cheerilee buried her face into her hoof. “That’s… exactly wrong. The three kinds of rocks are sedimentary, igneous, and metamorphic. You’d know that if you were paying attention in class yesterday.”

“What?” Apple Bloom asked. “If you told us in class, then what the hay was the point of the homework assignment?”

“Repetition.”

“Wait… you had us do a homework assignment… about what you went over in class… just to write down what you said in class?”

“Yes, Apple Bloom. That’s why I assign homework. To see if my students are paying attention in class.”

Apple Bloom blinked. “Why is it fifty percent of our grade, then?”

Cheerilee smiled. “Because paying attention is important.”

“But,” Apple Bloom said, “if I just pay attention in class, then pass all the tests… I’ll still fail?”

“That’s exactly right.”

Apple Bloom snorted. “That has got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“What?” Cheerilee asked. “I didn’t expect to hear such sass coming out of your mouth! You’re usually such a good student.”

“You’ll have to forgive me, I just woke up.”

“Tiredness is no excuse for rudeness. Now go sit in the corner.”

“But the assignment was dumb.”

“Corner. Now.”

Apple Bloom snorted, removed herself from her desk, and put herself in the corner to the chorus of her classmates giggling.

Rocks are dumb.