Of Gods And Mortals

by DeepThought

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 49907

This… is a tale of ”my” reality, my triumphs, my mistakes, and the sins of a father.

I don’t know if I’ve truly died or lost my mind. What is reality, what is sanity? Are they not just a product of society, a unit to be measured? Something that can be judged, evaluated, and constricted by belief, but also something that is limited by our very biology? I’m not really sure, yet I believe myself to be sane, and have decided to embrace my own reality. One born purely from thought, bound by the limitations of my imagination. This… is a tale of ”my” reality, my triumphs, my mistakes, and the sins of a father.

Co-authored by his Highness Lord of Hentai.
Edited by The Magic Hobo, Regun and mikesnipe.

Published 2015-11-16 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-11 03:25:03 UTC

Chapter 1 - How The Mighty Have Fallen

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

“Invictus”, William Ernest Henley

It was night, and the sky was a serene black, spotted with countless twinkling stars. Tonight was special, as all of Canterlot was awake in celebration over the Elements’ victory against Discord. Gatherings were held under neat pavilions, in the streets, in houses, and clubs and even the ivory white castle that towered over the rest of the city.

The news of their triumph spread like a wildfire. Bouts of sudden musical magic could be heard on every corner, along with cheering, singing and dancing. It was a drunk, patriotic euphoria, and the populace was in a cheerful mood. After all, they had once again defeated a great evil, hadn’t they? The one behind everything... The number one threat to their precious harmony, their boogeyman. Discord.

Anyway, with the god of chaos once more locked away in his prison of stone, one might hope for maybe another thousand years, a feeling I regret to say I was not entirely against at that time. Still, the crisis had been averted, and once again the masses felt safe, content that their maternal princesses would protect them from all that was to come, or so did these naive quadrupeds believe.

Oh, how wrong they were. If they only knew this was the beginning of my son’s deceitful scheming, not the end... But then again who am I to spoil this fun?

This time, it was up to them, for they were free. I suppose it was both ironic and beautiful in a way, that the greatest enemy to peace and harmony had given them true freedom through his misdeeds. For he had finally done the one thing that could make this world more than just simulation, one ruled by man with questionable sanity... In this, he had fulfilled his purpose.

Still, If they played their cards right, many could for once claim a destiny free of my meddling, or at least any future meddling, as still some of my plans were in motion. After all, my schemes would sometimes cover centuries. Either way, I certainly would not let this stand. That is if I had any say this debacle. But for now that surely was questionable, as... Well, see for yourself....

It must've been a few hours after sunset as a sole bright light began to shine dimly in the night sky. A falling star. But at that point few had noticed it.

Increasing in brightness it turned into more, splitting up and growing in size. No pony suspected the meaning behind this, not even the princess of the night herself, who was not partaking in the festivities anymore at this point, not being much of a mare of the common folks, but instead watched the stunning event from the heights of her study’s balcony, unsure what to make of this rogue child of hers. Still, she was awed by the sheer beauty of it. It was a spectrum of color, almost like a rainbow piercing the night sky.

Normally, it was the princess herself who would sacrifice one of her children to mark such an event of celebration. It was unheard of that one of them had a mind of its own. Where had it even come from? How did all of this relate to this day’s events? Everything, every tiny speckle of light in the sky, seemed to be in the right place. She would need to look into it when her sister’s sun once again graced the land with its rays, she decided. With Discord and the fallout of his wonky magic one couldn’t be too careful.

While this event may have confounded her, the ponies celebrating below had no knowledge of this and therefore they cheered when the falling star shattered and in its wake a dozen shiny pieces cascaded across the night sky. The fall of a star was a rare spectacle, and to the various people of the land it was always a sign of hope and good luck.

He must’ve had his hands in all of this. Of that she was sure. It had been far too easy to subdue Discord. It reminded her of the last time he had prepared them to face Discord, it all pointed to some kind of intervention. Her father wouldn’t allow that monster to roam free again, not after all he had done, after so many had suffered. Of course, her trust in him was shaken, but still she was his daughter and she loved him with all her heart.

Her father wouldn’t place the burden of overcoming it on the shoulders of his children alone, just as he hadn’t left her alone when it was her turn to be redeemed. That nopony had been hurt that night, while she as Nightmare Moon had roamed the realm, couldn’t be explained any other way. And only through this and the most curious intervention of the Elements had she been restored to what she once was without any major struggle. Had she gone on a killing spree... The princess of the night didn’t want to think of it and just shuddered.

His ways were mysterious, sometimes brutal, but never cruel. That Luna believed, but she was not entirely sure if her sister shared that view. If only she could talk to him, if only she could see him, thank him, scold him, and once again partake of his company. It had been far too long an absence…

She missed her dad.

I slowly returned to consciousness from what felt like a deep slumber. The faint echoes of a dream remained, as I felt the rough ground beneath me and a rock digging into my back, my body ached and my eyes were still closed. It must’ve been a wild night, I mused. I was disoriented and confused, slightly dizzy, groggy almost, as if I was recovering from a massive hangover. What had happened? The smell of burnt wood faintly drifted through the air. For a moment it was hard to even recall who I was... It took a couple of seconds until it all came back to me. Shuddering, I opened my eyes to face what had been forced upon me.

I heaved and picked myself up from the charred ground, one that distinctly looked like the crash site of a meteor. At this point I was quite aware of what must’ve caused this and I was stunned that I actually felt the consequences of my unwilling collision with the ground. In the process of analyzing my rather unfamiliar surroundings, the menacing darkness of a forest at night, I heard something... The implications were worrying.

I could hear a heartbeat loud and clearly... In confusion (or perhaps it was denial?) I slightly turned my head, trying to locate the sound’s source, but shortly after, glancing towards the darkness, I realized it was mine, my heart. Horrified, I wrapped my arms closely and protectively around my body, knowing full well it would offer no true respite, yet it still gave some comfort as asinine as that was. This once common sound, was one I didn’t want to be reminded of, that’s for sure. This signified one important fact...

I was no longer not of this world, a chessmaster, watcher, and a divine ruler. Now I was of flesh and blood once again. It felt real. Real, because for once I could feel the coldness of the night on my skin again, hear with my own ears the sounds of the animals — it was no longer a joke, a mere play unfolding before my eyes. I was not an all-encompassing concept anymore, rather, I was a physical being. And it felt as if these thousands of years never happened and I was once again just a young, afraid, very human adult, not an invincible god.

I was beyond terrified, and with this realization came panic. My breathing intensified, I felt sick and convoluted. It was as if I was drowning! I’m surprised that I never threw up, but I definitely came close to tarnishing my black sneakers on several occasions. I had been robbed of what I was!

I… am not sure of just how long I sat in the clearing, but it was still dark out, and the only other presence besides the sounds of the forest that greeted me was my daughter’s moonlight.

My eyes began to tear up. Unconsciously my hands gripped and pulled my smooth brown hair and I fell back to my knees. I didn’t want to believe it. It couldn’t be true! No! My fucking brat had broken me! I was overwhelmed, but with what? Hatred? Sadness? Fear? Betrayal? The lust for vengeance? Yes, all of them in fact, but among them surprisingly one other feeling emerged much more forceful in intensity: I was amused, as much as it scared me, a whispering voice in the back of my mind telling me I must’ve gone insane. And I smiled a wicked, crooked smile. A bitter expression. Defiance.

I had been dethroned, but I was not yet defeated. And I didn’t plan to allow it to happen. No. I felt exhilarated, challenged even. This had Discord’s signature all over it. What he pulled off here was brilliant, I had to give him that much. For it was through my own creations that he had me judged and sentenced to this punishment.

The Elements I created... most beautiful irony. I had been overconfident, arrogant even. I never would have believed what had come to pass to be possible. I suppose Discord and I we were more similar than I had thought; each with our own special brand of crazy. A crazy I could no longer afford to indulge.

I knew that it was not in his style to just kill me off. I couldn’t see him setting this up without giving me some kind of chance to win this gamble — and it was one huge gamble. He was predictable in his unpredictability. Controlled chaos, heh, how he would loathe hearing that... But I digress, as anything else would have been bad sportsmanship to him.

I was filled with grim determination for I knew that this senseless fretting would in no way improve my situation... to return to my plane I would have to face this world with all its trials and tribulations. Face my own fears and overcome them. I knew that I could succeed, this was nothing compared to the void in which I came to power.

At this point my panic had eased down to where my thoughts were more than just a haze. I took a couple of deep, slow breaths, and steadfastly I rose again. I had made a choice, the choice to reclaim what was mine and I would do so with every fiber of my being, even if it meant to risk my life... if that even was at risk. Something which I was curious about, and more than a little nervous of. Still, I felt oddly energized, giddy even.

Yet, it appeared this was just the calm before the storm, my euphoric state of mind was not meant to last, for in my peripheral vision I took notice of something so utterly trivial... it was nothing but a regular yellow flower, something akin to a poppy. Just looking at that plant, I was flooded with so many emotions.

I knew this flower could survive here so why did it bother me so? Was it how it stood there, mocking me with the life that shone out of its blossoms? No… well, maybe that was what made me feel emotionally and physically drained. That bright color... the form...

And then Furor.

Without any control I trampled that wicked thing until it was no longer there, until it was just some mush on the ground. Why..?

No, I’d rather not think about it, I decided. And looking back, it had to be due to my rather violated state that I reacted the way I did, didn’t it? Taking a deep breath I slowly exhaled, hoping I would remain calm this time around. Now….

Instead of brooding, I would focus on my physical health and the situation I was facing. Except the lingering tingling in my extremities, caused by my recent... tantrum, everything seemed to be in order. I was in no way injured and still looked not a day older than the twenty five year old self. At least judging by how much I could make out without a mirror in the moonlight — which honestly wasn’t all that much.

I was clad in my trademark Vest™ and a pair of plain blue jeans. A scarf clung tightly to my neck. Had it not been for the hot breath that left a foggy trail in the cold air, I couldn’t have made out a difference from my usual, godly appearance.

Which brought me to the first point on my agenda. What was I now? How much had my abilities suffered?

Was I still immortal?

Or better yet... had I ever been immortal if I was not now? If someone was capable of removing that trait from me, my immortality had been naught but an illusion. After all, if there is something that can kill you, even if it's under the most unlikely circumstances like your mismatched son, who happens to be the lord of chaos, turning your own weapons against you, then you are merely hard to kill but not truly immortal...

Besides, how would one know they are not immortal until something kills them off? By then it is far too late — obviously. In fact I didn’t know I wouldn’t die the last time I was close to death... Immortality is an absolute. In fact, that was a very calming thought in this moment.

But whatever. The point is I had to find out what exactly what I was capable of and what I wasn’t. I had to assess what I was given, so I could form a plan. That there were restrictions to my powers now, there was no question about it. How great these restrictions were, was a different thing altogether.

And so I did.

I figured I should begin with what I remembered as easy exercises in order not to put too much strain on me... Later I could increase the difficulty. Levitation was such a spell, which had no real complexity to it — even the densest of unicorns would eventually pick it up, as it only depended on the willpower of the caster and his magical prowess. Therefore, spells like these could be increased gradually in strength to estimate my remaining power, or at least that was what I thought. I got into a steady stance and drew a few deep breaths, focusing on the task at hand.

I concentrated solely on the steady swirl inside my chest and body. An ember of power, which to my surprise felt as if it resonated with something or several somethings in the far distance, as if my very core was the corpus of a guitar and these things were the swinging strings.

For a moment that made me stop and wonder where this sensation could stem from... but I couldn’t afford to spend time thinking of that in this place, it would have to be later. I had more important problems to face, I really had to focus. Over the years my mind had become a fragmented, distracted mess, and my constant rambling was surely a consequence of it.

I could only hope that I hadn’t turned senile. After all, when one is faced with thousands of lifespans worth of memories, it's easy to leave things by the wayside. Not to mention the deluge of information that I didn’t care about anymore, and the lack of companionship. I was out of mental practice, as silly as that sounded, therefore losing some edge, which while troubling, could be dealt with.

Anyway, I managed with practiced ease to shift my concentration and magical grasp to an immense, conveniently-placed boulder, more of a small hill to be honest, weighing at least a couple of tons. It stood proudly before the lines of shabby pine trees surrounding the clearing — a horrendous assortment of disfigured plants, a real pain to any creature born with a sense of aesthetics, practically reeking of chaotic magic.

While theatrically lifting my hand into the air making a Vader choke grip-like gesture, I imagined it to rise steadily. It was not a disturbing lack of faith in my own abilities, though, that stopped me from going through with my plan. Let’s just say that my expectations, as low as they were, were still too high. To imagine that once this whole plane bended to my whim...

The moment my power encompassed my target in a plain grey color, I felt as if the weight of the whole world rested on my shoulders. My magic spilled out of me at an alarmingly fast rate, like a bucket turned bottom up. It put an enormous strain on my body and instantly my heart rate increased, my breath became labored and my vision started to blur. This was anything but healthy and if it continued I was sure I would pass out. I immediately ceased my attempt, yet I had to struggle for a moment to cut the steady, strangling flow that still tried to flee my frail form. Dark spots appeared dancing in my field of vision and there was a slow building pressure on my head.

I was disillusioned, just how far had I truly fallen? I noted offhandedly…. Ugh… After catching my breath for the second time this day I realized in shock that my ability was simply not sufficient. What was once as natural to me as breathing had become an unconquerable challenge. Well, it wasn’t a complete disaster, at least. I wasn’t cut from my magic entirely, I definitely felt the telltale signs no, it was rather that I was a lot weaker now. A difference in scope not in kind. I had to start with something completely on the other side of the spectrum before gauging the limits of my magic. With unsteady steps I moved around the clearing collecting some small pebbles and few rocks each growing in size from the last.

I made little noise, and fortunately it seemed as if everything was in order. I didn’t want some random predator to stumble upon me for I didn’t feel the need to show off my power (or lack thereof) to whatever might be watching. Patience and cautiousness shall be my masters this time around, I decided.

Anyway, with the smallest pebble in my hand, it being almost the size of a marble, I would once again attempt to gauge my strength. Only this time I would do so more carefully. I sat down, cross-legged, and concentrated once again. I closed my eyes and slowly counted to ten, and then I began.

Even though I was blind to the outside I could make out the schemes of my magical grip. Much like a hand an appendage was glowing before my inner eye and extended its contour-less form towards the small stone in my hands. First thing I did was to poke it. And yes it did respond. I could feel that with my bare hands. I was not stripped of my magic entirely. And even though I had known that intellectually, it came as a relief.

After continued prodding, I felt confident enough to make it hover and this time I could handle the strain easily, feeling somewhat confident I could keep it up as long as I wanted. I gave the pebble some spin and moved it with increasing pace around my sitting form, even growing so bold to push it mere inches around my body. I watched its course, until it was too fast to follow it with bare eyes.

Once again I listened inside and noticed that while the smallest pebble would never tire me in this exercise, the same could not be said for its larger brethren. I found that the rock around the size of a tennis ball if left rotating could drain my reserves, for my core couldn’t keep up with the consumption of magical energy, resulting in a net loss of stored power. From this crude experiment I could conclude two things: First, my handle on my magic was extremely precise, I was still a master of my trade. But secondly, I was hardly stronger than your average Unicorn.

Well, that could have been worse I suppose.

I continued to prod at my magic for another couple of minutes until I was satisfied, went through a couple of general spells like basic transfiguration and lightning, even some offensive spells. I definitely could hold myself against the lesser evils this forest had to offer, or at least I could buy for enough time to escape if push came to shove.

But there was something left... A quite important something. Could I still shape-shift? Transformation was vital to my survival. To say I had powerful enemies was the understatement of the century, my existence wasn’t common knowledge, but there were a couple mighty beings out there — those who truly mattered — that could make my life a misery worse than hell. Simply, if I lacked the ability to blend in, all was lost, or at least it would be a lot more difficult to solve this dilemma.

After all, it would force me into hiding and therefore would slow down any attempts to find out what exactly this all was about, and how to go about reverting it. Well, perhaps there was a chance that this charade wouldn’t be necessary, that I would be spared by my daughters and they would offer me sanctuary. But to be honest it was an unknown and therefore I could not rely on it and neither was I ready to face them.... I wouldn’t let it come that far, I decided.

Yet, it seemed like my worries were unfounded as in my place came another human being. I had become my long deceased wife, then a common earth pony, an alicorn, Celestia, Luna, a gryphon, Discord, and even a changeling. I found that I could shift between these forms with great ease, for my body molded to my desires just like clay, no further strain or pain involved. Though, it left a curious sensation. Something akin to prickling, but not quite.

Unlike the changeling’s illusions, mine was a gradual change that took place at all parts of my body at once and was more than skin deep, but still not completely the real deal, either. I lacked their magic-given abilities and natural strength yet retained the powers and durability of my original form, as little as they were at this point. Don’t ask me how this process worked, especially now that I was more than a mere consciousness, but in possession of a real body. These changes were able to influence my inner physical workings a great deal as well.

But I took it as a hint that perhaps not everything was as different as I first believed. Still, I didn’t want to take chances. No one had been able to look past my disguises in the past and while I had no reason to believe it had changed, I would still err on the side of caution. Something that was quickly becoming a general theme of my existence nowadays, I mused. Speaking of caution, retaining this ability was probably more than just mere coincidence. This reeked of Discord, or more likely the Elements themselves as I would still have some of the tools of my trade left so as not to doom me.

Hmm, what is next, I pondered.

Ah, some exploration was needed. In fact it was long overdue, after all where exactly was I in the Everfree? The peace in this forest was deceptive, that much I knew, and the quicker I got out of it the better. For all I knew Discord could still be free, even if the chances were slim. I did not want to leave my fate to luck and mistakenly place trust in its temporal security. I kneeled down, preparing, focusing my will. And then, my contours began to glimmer, and morph. I shrunk down, my smooth skin sprouting feathers, black like coal. I became a bird. A simple raven, nothing special about it. I had no desire for grandeur.

With the natural ease of a practiced flier I took to the dark skies, leaving the site of my first defeat. For a few, short moments I circled over the clearing, taking inventory of my surroundings with my sharp avian eyes. Something caught my gaze in the distance. A familiar sight, a place often visited in disguise and watched from the heavens. And well, it seemed as if I was lucky, once again. At the horizon I could make out the glimmer of a city I instantly recognized. Canterlot, the seat of Equestrian power. I knew where to go, or rather fly from here. It was a quick decision.

Navigation was not my strong suit, but even I could find my way through this method. A small, some would call it cozy, nearby settlement, with much more significance than most would believe, was to be my destination. Ponyville was where I would be at the epicenter of the coming events, but still somewhat out of the reach of my daughters. Still, I would be near enough that I could enjoy the benefits of the protection granted to this town specifically and I suppose for good reason. Either way, that was perhaps a bit too optimistic in regards to my daughters, but the chance of actually stumbling upon them while just taking a stroll through the city was significantly smaller than that of Canterlot, or even some of the other larger cities.

Heh, it was after all the hometown of the element bearers. As good a place as any to start making sense of all this bullshit.

With strong flaps of my wings, my black form vanished in the dark, unseen.

The flight had been pretty eventless overall, almost akin to a therapeutic experience after the turbulent events of the past few hours. At the beginning I had been somewhat on edge, fearing that I might have to face one of the larger winged predators that roam the Everfree. Thankfully that was not the case as I took my time avoiding signs of their territory and hunting grounds (or was it hunting skies?).

I could see the beginnings of dawn approaching, the gentle light of the sun slowly beginning to overwhelm the dark, I was safe, or as safe as I could be at this time as I lay nestled in the crown of a tree. It was.. odd... yet not entirely surprising that I found myself needing rest. Fatigue… that was an almost alien feeling now, something that I had no wish to revisit, but there was no choice at this time. Still, not much more than a mile separated me from the outskirts of the town now that the end of this forest was near. It was time to make a decision. How should I or rather what should I travel as in these lands?

I had many options to choose from, and couldn’t help but picture some choices I would normally make when visiting my creations.

Heh, I'm sure many in my situation would love to take on the form of a mighty alicorn. If not only for the respect such a form garners, but the privileges that follow it. Hell, I could even have flames dancing on my mane and hooves to complement a deep black coat and a package that lustful mares and stallions alike would come to worship with a cult like fervor.

Ugh, such drivel reminds me of those trashy “romance” novels which came to be when Luna and Celestia first made their appearance on the stage. Hell I think that description actually matched one of the main characters in an early one. Why would I know this you ask? Well… loneliness can certainly make for some strange bedfellows and that was something I could never truly sate. Still, I am anything but touched in the head. At this time I lacked the abilities required of an alicorn, nor would the challenge of holding up the disguise let alone a backstory of such an abomination be very easy in my case. Either way, I have no desire to be held to the ridiculously high standards of an alicorn nor have I anything I need to overcompensate for. I believe that humility is a strength all its own. Strange, hearing that coming from me...

Next I considered some of the various races, and eventually came to the conclusion that I would have to restrict myself to one that can cast magic and fit in with this land. It was a tool I would not wish to be without, well even if I would still have it I would have to restrict its uses to keep up my disguise. Still this saddened me as I had a rather twisted idea.

I could become a zebra colt or filly, oh the fun I could have in such a form. I can still remember the twisted xenophobia that once gripped this town or more likely still does if their previous actions are anything to go by. Why would I believe they had changed after only one incident like this when the revulsion they held towards Zecora was anything but forced.

I can’t help but wonder... Would they try and take this zebra foal back to Zecora? I mean, it is a zebra after all, and therefore should remain with its own kind right? Ha, the arguments I could make, them banishing me from their pure society to the mercy of the wilds, that they could not stomach the sight of me. I could even abuse this xenophobia for my advantage, to make them constantly aim to please me lest I make them appear racist.

Now I suppose you wonder why I would delight in reminding others of their prejudice? I said before that I want my creations to grow, and face hardships. This would be exactly that, I would try them, I would test them, I would break them, there would be change, and best of all I could indulge in my own twisted sense of humor while furthering my goals. Hardly a charitable notion, but you wouldn't expect that from me, would you? Besides is treating one race better than another in order to placate them for past events not a form of prejudice that can rule both sides of the argument?

Either way, I think the best part of all would be that I could hide behind an air of innocence, a shield stronger than most to always lend power to my actions. But then again, most zebras didn’t live in Equestria and I guess they would try to find living family members of mine or at least bring me back to the so called place of my birth. And if I was somehow able to maneuver my way out of it, this role would no doubt place more scrutiny on me than is necessary.

In any event, being without my magic doomed that idea completely. As a result I would have to be a unicorn. Now I have little interest in approaching the society as a mere adult as I have nothing to my name, and would have to expend more effort towards my goals, let alone the responsibilities that come with it. No I would take advantage of their generosity and the laws that protect the feeble, maimed, or young.

Perhaps I could play the role of a senile old fart balancing precariously over the void. I would stumble into the town, clearly wounded and distraught. Demanding to know whose three headed lizard pet had saw fit to use my beloved dog as a chew toy, claiming that I had come out of the Everfree post haste. Wait… where is my coin purse!? Why the guards were never this inept back in my day, why when I fought in Veitnamib… eh if I felt generous enough I might I offer them some respite, ending my mindless rant after five minutes or so. Still, I’m sure they would see me off to a house of death, where I would be taken care of until the end of my days. While fun, and offering me some freedom, it would offer a challenge of its own and some scrutiny. No, I can do better, I could enjoy something as frivolous as that later.

Hrmm while I stated I wanted a form with magic… I suppose I could become an animal. With this choice I would have no need of a cover story, neither would it require much deceit. Yet, I would be unable to pull as many strings as a sapient being is offered. Not to mention the significant drop in my quality of life and that while animals are cherished, they are expendable when it comes to the heart of the matter. No that would not work, nor would I be able to truly make use of my magic, albeit few would consider an animal was the one doing it, still an undesirable choice.

Ah, but perhaps I was spot on with my earlier thought of becoming a zebra foal! Well, in the thought of playing a foal that is... As there are few that would not seek to help me prosper in this town, nor would the scrutiny be as harsh. I would have security, food, and shelter. True, I would lose some freedom, but I could get away with so much more as a result, even more than that of an old fart. Why was I doing something I wasn’t supposed to? Ignorance and purity will become my shield.

Yes, I think my role shall be that of an idiot savant, where all will know my lack of common sense, and therefore expect less of me. I will be able to both indulge my whimsy and my purpose. In doing this I can manipulate events from behind the scenes. I will gather what I can of my situation and play the fool. I will appear as a friendly foal, amicable but absent-minded. I will be an idiot, a bubbly one mind you, and as a result likeable and friendly. Even showing moments of childlike clarity or insights if necessary, as well as “unintentional” insults of course. Heh, this will work, I know it.

Now in regards to my backstory, I want something simple that will allow me to meld it how I see fit. Something that will require little effort to maintain, and will allow me to avoid most scrutiny, or at least scrutiny aimed at me. As such I would need to adopt the role of an orphan with no knowledge of my distant family, other than that my father and mother have passed on. While I know of my last name, like many other ponies it does not bind us together. Pity is yet another strength of this disguise, that will benefit me as a result.

Ah, now in regards to my sex, I believe a colt will be the superior choice. While playing the role of another gender doesn't bother me, there are some small gender inequalities I can take advantage of as a male. Even though Equestria was progressing and never had been a place to embrace strict norms for the genders, the fact that the ratio between males and females was more than 1:4. Which lead to colts and males being somewhat more sheltered by their families, in a way small kings of their own, once they formed a herd. But not quite, as many of them lead a somewhat domestic life.

Having a colt was considered a blessing, as that guaranteed the continuation of one's family name and in older times large support for the parents once they grew old. The urge the mares felt while being in estrus did its part, too, I guess, to make this the order of things. Never mind, that the existence of two respected immortal female rulers did much to shatter that view over the last thousand or so years.

All in all, these differences would increase my odds of being adopted.

Now... Due to the age of my disguise, I would have no brand, nor do I really have any interest in one, yet my role would require me to at least show some interest in it no matter how distasteful I find them. This coming from the one that forced the tramp stamps upon the ponies... I wonder… what colors this disguise of mine shall embrace... Not being colorful was an odd choice, as most ponies sported vibrant colors. But then that too could be a great way to leech further pity, and it was hardly outside the realm of possibility. So many choices... Heh... I think I know what I shall choose now.

I took to the air with a slight flutter of my wings, leaving behind the tree that housed me for a short time. It did not take me long to ensure I was alone, and it would take me even less time to reach the ground. With a quick glide I found myself hidden behind some bushes, offering more than enough privacy at this early hour.

My form began to shift, my black feathers slowly gave way to white fur. I grew in size for a time, and slowly a blond mane and tail sprouted forth. And at last my horn formed, completing my metamorphosis. I was a young colt once again, a disguise I would abuse from time to time if it fit my fancy, yet, I would be using it for more than entertainment this time around.

It was then that the former God of the World, Prometheus, now Sunny Delight, decided to exit the bushes and began to prance towards the town, with a bright and cheery smile. Still this colt looked rather distant, almost as if he was more than a few cans short of a six pack. He must have also forgotten to bathe as he was beyond filthy, covered in dirt, and even the occasional cockle burr. Not to mention how malnourished and tired he appeared.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen…

Author's Note

AN, DeepThought:

Long time no see, I guess...
Seriously, I am sorry for the long delay, but perhaps you find it in your heart to forgive me? Anyway, this is our new chapter. As you see, it is still pretty rambly and generally relies much on "inner" narration rather than action, but I hope with the next chapter this will change, as Prometheus finally will get some interaction with the town.

As some might have noticed The Magic Hobo has joined our team now and is in charge of cleaning up the herp derp, which is Lordy's and my writing. Good luck with that...

AN, The Magical Hobo:

So yeah, I edit this thing now, that's a thing. You would not believe what comes out of Lord of Hentai's mind, I'm serious, it's like youtube poop made into a person. If you could see the Skype chats...

[1:03:01 AM] MeBigFatOgre: hrmm wonder what they would call someone who eats braindead ponies
[1:03:05 AM] MeBigFatOgre: i mean that's still vegan right?
[1:03:09 AM] The Magic Hobo: WAT
[1:03:11 AM] The Magic Hobo: IN
[1:03:12 AM] The Magic Hobo: THE
[1:03:14 AM] The Magic Hobo: ABSOLUTE
[1:03:16 AM] The Magic Hobo: FUCK
[1:03:18 AM] The Magic Hobo: NO
[1:03:23 AM] The Magic Hobo: THAT'S NOT VEGAN

I need to go relearn thinking and language andawdnawdj
awdawdwa andasd

Help...

AN, Lord of Hentai:

Innocence is a lie, there is only debauchery.
Through debauchery, I gain passion.
Through passion, I gain hentai.
Through hentai, I gain baby batter.
Through baby batter, my wrists are sprained.
Hentai shall complete me.

Also drugs r good! Dont listen to those dirty plebeians out thar telling you otherwise!
Sincerely,
Lord of Hentai
Your resident Morals Nazi

Chapter 2 - Down And Out In Ponyville

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

Shakespeare, “As You Like It”

As I drew nearer to the town I couldn't help but come to a slow trot as I immersed myself in sensations long forgotten. The alien-like cold that had chilled me earlier was now receding, and in its place came an equally odd one, the gentle warmth of the Sun.

Huh... why had I censored myself from such things? The extremes may be bothersome but this... this I found myself basking in due to its long absence. For a time, I rested against the railing of the bridge that I found myself on. While I was absentmindedly enjoying my sunbathing, my gaze drifted to the skies. From here I could make out some pegasi clearing the clouds in preparation for a calm and clear day.

Enjoying the tranquility that was offered, I was drawn into the sounds of nature around me. There was the slowly moving brook, a pair of birds serenading one another, cicadas chirping, and in the distance the sound of Ponyville’s residents starting their own morning routines. They all had their roles, as did Sunny. Despite how tired I felt, these sights and sounds seemed to renew me.

In this moment of reflection, I began to muse over my current plans. Maybe I should alter a few things regarding my new role. Playing as an idiot savant, while fun, was always a challenge, not to mention the stakes were much higher this time around. I simply wasn’t sure if I could stay in character if things went awry. No, I shouldn’t limit myself to a role I can’t hold together. I had no idea how long I’d have to keep this up.

I would just be a bit of a brat, after all what teenager wasn’t? I would come across as a real pony, one with flaws. Like anyone else, certain things would set me off and trigger a rather emotional response. I had to make sure my role could handle both my reactions and that of itself. Heh, all animals have their own defense mechanisms after all...

Maybe given time, my role would come to represent a facet of myself? Still, any further reflection on this would be wasted as no plan survives contact with the enemy. I had to accept there would be some things I would have to change as I went along. Yet here I remained, why haven’t I entered the town yet?

Had I just been delaying the inevitable, by losing myself in my thoughts? No, well... that was not entirely true. I was nervous, and needed to calm my nerves. Reflecting on things had become…. Was conversing with myself how I faced my fears and loneliness? No, I really shouldn’t dwell on this any further, besides there was something else I could add to my disguise. I took a quick detour underneath the bridge. Heh, may as well hide some of my more noticeable features in a rather simplistic way. I always did enjoy sculpting albeit this was far from my normal approach.

Ugh, now that water was cold... Now, why was I so afraid to enter the town?... Asking myself that was pointless however, for I already knew the answer. What I once thought was fact had been fiction all along. I was but a very small fish in what was once my very own pond. Still, even the smallest of prey could fell the largest given the right situation.

Steeling myself, I took a deep breath, and gathered what courage I had. Accepting what needed to be done, I trotted back to the bridge and cantered across it. It was not long before I had already passed the town hall.

I imagine that the few glances I was met with at such a distance made me appear as one of the local foals off on an adventure or one getting in trouble as only a child could. My form was rather wet now and I was drenched in mud, with but a few patches of my white coat showing anymore. Hmm, wasn’t there some foal here that had a white coat bespeckled by brown in some places? Squeaky something or other? Eh it's of little importance either way. The ponies in the distance were busy and paid me no heed as they ventured off to face their own challenges of the day.

While I could seek out an adult now, I knew I could find a better location in which to ply my trade. I took my time in approaching the marketplace so as to limit the selection of who I’d have to interact with. The market was a rather lively location that should offer plenty of targets for my deceptions to prey upon. Or at least I hoped so, this thought calming the last of my nerves as I rounded the corner, passing Sugarcube Corner, and entering the marketplace proper.

Here I was met with the sight of nearly two dozen stalls, and at least thirty or so ponies surveying the various wares and produce being sold. Now who was here today? Oh yes, that one would be here, wouldn’t she! I had a hard time trying not to chuckle but succeeded as I approached a familiar and rather bored looking stall owner selling carrots. She had no customers at the moment and was distracted. Suppose it was time to see if my acting skills have held up well enough to get Sunny Delight taken into foal services. “Well here it goes...” I mused, manipulating an object with my ‘now’ golden magic.

Showtime!

Carrot Top’s day had started in the early morning like many of the other vendors. It was here that they furnished their own stalls in preparation for the morning rush. She knew well the challenges that laid ahead, the tedious trials everypony must face, and the sacrifices each would need to make if they wished to succeed.

She would not be found wanting in this event, no, she had seen to that. All this effort was for one goal, all so that one day she could finally usurp control over the market from her rival, one whose family had provided the very foundations from which birthed this town.

Applejack was a shrewd and honest pony, a truly worthy competitor in this twisted dance they faced every day. Yet, it seemed today was not the day Applejack would fall, for while it started off busy, her customers quickly purchased the carrots they needed and began to split off funneling through the other stalls with only a few stragglers and ponies originating from her other competitors.

Plebeians the lot of them, sure apples were delic… eh.. they were ok... and may have offered a health benefit or two, yet carrots offered so much more! Not only did they assist with afflictions of the heart like apples did, but they could improve your vision, even improve the quality of your coat, and most importantly of all they were easier on a mare’s figure, truly a gift from Celestia herself!

Yet, Carrot couldn’t help but sigh, it simply wasn’t in the cards. She knew that variety was the spice of life and as such could hardly hold it against them. For very long anyways....

Roughly fifteen minutes later, Carrot Top found herself facing one of the greatest challenges that everypony dealt with, boredom. Despite the efforts she put forth in her fantasies, she could not escape its grasp. As such she did what she could to keep herself busy, checking her carrots, updating her books, cleaning a few things, and last but not least, seeing if that dust bunny she had been protecting for the past month had grown. Huh, Mr. Flibbles wasn’t doing half bad.... Though it was kinda windy today so she did her best to act as a barrier.

In the mind numbing minutes that followed she lost herself in these tasks, until she heard a stomach rumbling in the direction of her stall. At last, an escape from the evil which plagued her! She found herself quickly rising from the paperwork which she had become enslaved by, taking a deep breath, put on a smile and…

“Good morning! Fresh carrots, two for only a… bit? ” She stated with a cheery expression which flipped into more of a question once she glanced down at the sight before her.

The ‘customer’ she was greeted with was a colt who was rather wet and covered in mud. The little unicorn didn’t look all that familiar either. Upon closer inspection she noted he had a white or greyish coat and a blonde mane, judging by the few areas that weren't covered in mud. Try as she might she couldn’t remember any other foals in the town with that color combination.

“Wow!” she giggled “Looks like you’ve had a rather fun morning," She exclaimed, remembering her own adventures as a rambunctious filly.

The little unicorn in question merely grimaced in response to the attention his rumbling stomach had gotten him as he wiped some drool from his lips. Why was he looking so nervous, she wondered? Carrot was confused, was this foal scared of her, or rather why would he be? Wanting to solve this mystery, she slowly left the comfort of her stall and approached him.

“You okay there, Shorty?” She questioned softly, not wishing to scare him off. She wondered if he’d perk up at attempt to pick on his height. Yet, this statement seemed to do little to lift the spirits of the filthy foal who was definitely afraid of something, as his ears tucked themselves in as he glanced nervously back and forth.

Carrot glanced across the market, noticing that most ponies were still going about their business, though it looked a few were becoming perplexed by the colt as well. Of this group she noted her friend Lily, who was approaching with an annoyed look. Feeling confused but confident in her backup, she grabbed a carrot, and returned her full attention to the little unicorn, who was looking even worse than before.

“Ah, c'mon don’t be like that! I won’t bite," she teased. “Want a carrot?” she said while playfully waving the carrot in his direction as she came to a halt only a few hooves away with a smile gracing her lips.

“Umm, ok,” that colt said happily, his tail was wagging in response to her offer. However, it seemed her gift distracted him from whatever else his magic was holding, leaving him with a look of despair as she heard something hit the ground.

Huh, well she could get that for him. Looking to the ground, she was met with an odd sight… He’s holding the carrot she gave him, so how did one get one on the other side of him…!? Looking back up, she saw the foal panic, as he quickly turned and galloped away with one of her carrots in tow.

“Wait, come back here you little thief!” Carrot found herself blurting out as she tried to catch up to him. The other nearby ponies took notice, but the scared foal was rather quick. He managed to effortlessly dash under and past her friend Lily who nervously squeaked during his escape.

The other vendors couldn’t leave their stalls and only a few others were able to join in their chase with it being as crowded as it was. Carrot in her rush managed to squeeze through an opening between Lily and a few other ponies and in doing so she playfully slapped Lily with her tail as she galloped by.

“Lils get your head out the clouds and get your fat flank moving!” she teased.

“WHAT!? My flank is anything but fat!” Lily hastily rebuked. Carrot could've sworn she could feel Lil’s blush from here when she heard a few ponies snicker. It sounded like her friend was catching up as they exited the marketplace. Huh, looks like Roseluck was chasing after the colt ahead of her, maybe this would be over sooner than she had thought.

“Is your hearing going bad too, Lils? I said flat, not fat," she teased while she slunk through a narrow corner and into an alley.

As Carrot sped up, she heard Lily squeal from behind, probably from having trouble getting through that narrow passage. Then a collision and some cursing. Shaking her head, she returned her focus back to catching that little unicorn.

“Lils stop being so bucking insecure about your figure, and focus on catching up to that colt,” Carrot was getting closer, the gap between the pair ahead was shrinking.

“You’re one to talk you… you...!” Lily squeaked. Carrot figured Lils was probably beet red at this point. The pair rounded yet another corner which lead to an open street with a few houses across the way.

“Work on your insults later, Lils,” Carrot grunted. “C'mon, stop running, squirt, you’re only making this worse!” she yelled.

The foal in question slowed for a moment, but it appeared it wasn’t to give up. No, he had just tipped over a garbage can in Roseluck’s general direction.

Carrot could only watch on in horror as her friend squealed in despair and tried to change course as the now open trash can engulfed her form. This ended with a very disgusting squelching noise.

She quickly dodged around Rose and resumed her chase, feeling guilty when she heard all kinds of muffled gagging and screaming start to fade into the background.

“Sorry sis!” Lily sputtered out behind her.

“Oh he's not getting away…” Carrot panted. It seemed the the colt had gained some distance through his dirty trick, “I have no clue who the parents are but they will hear about this!” she declared knowing her cause to be just.

“Please stop!” Lily yelled “We just want to talk!” her friend blurted out. Carrot could only shake her head at her friend's choice of words. The colt had to know full well that was a lie, if his now frantic galloping was anything to judge by. This was something that would end up with a foal being grounded for a serious length of time, if she had any say in it.

Thievery was not tolerated in Equestria, but especially not in Ponyville. Oh great… that little shit just dived under a fence, and was already back to galloping. In turn she prepared herself for what was to come.

“Buck!” Carrot loudly cursed, she had tried hard not to land in the flower bed, but still ended up trampling on…. Oh that colt would pay for this!

“My daisies!” came a rather familiar voice drenched in despair.

“Sorry, Daisy! I’ll explain later!” Lily managed to shout, sounding rather guilty. Carrot felt bad for her loss, but had to admit daisies were kind of a boring flower. Flavor was meh, and they were just as average in the look departments. She did like the smell of them though, but she couldn’t get lost in these thoughts now. After the rough landing, the duo quickly regained their balance as they galloped off towards the backyard only to find….

“OH COME ON!” exclaimed a rather irate Carrot Top.

She could only look on in annoyance as she saw the colt swiftly slide under the fence in the backyard. Which of course led into yet another alley. At least it looked like the little bugger was finally starting to tire. Carrot increased her pace, ready to bring this chase to an end. But, just as she was nearing the fence she stumbled. What would have been a mighty leap, turned into an elevated lunge, propelling her forward and snagging her right leg on the fence as she flipped over it.

Time seemed to freeze for her as she slowly started to invert in the air, the image greeting her was an upside down and very surprised Lily who had just lept and was rapidly approaching her.

“EEP!” her friend squeaked.

“Well shi...oompfh!" Carrot grunted in despair while she had the breath knocked out of her as the two tumbled over the fence. Both groaned in unison as they quickly untangled from one another.

“I’ll take right you go left, Lils,” She grumbled after she heard a noise coming from one of the two exits ahead.

Lily just nodded in response and looked like she was feeling some pain too. Despite this, both of them quickly galloped off towards their own respective destinations.

Upon hastily entering the alley, she thought she could hear muffled breathing before it stopped. If the colt was here, he was obviously trying to be quiet and chose to hide rather than continue fleeing. Well, not that he had much choice as this exit led towards a dead end if this was the way he went.

“I know you’re there!” Carrot stated as she caught her breath and looked around for hiding places. There weren’t many, just an overturned trash can and a few trash bags.

“C'mon out now, and you won't get in anymore trouble than you’re already in,” she said while drawing closer to the end of the alley. She was listening carefully for any noise that could give away his location.

Carrot couldn’t hear him and hoped she wasn't wrong in thinking he had hid here. The trash bags were still intact and there was nothing behind the overturned trash can, which was conveniently facing the wall...

“You’re in the trash can aren’t you, squirt?” Carrot said with glee as she swiftly turned it her way while tilting it upwards. For her valiant efforts she was rewarded with a very disgusted squeal.

“Aww c’mon, don’t look at me like that," she said as the colt glared daggers at her with some coffee grounds and a stray banana peel resting on his head.

“Pfft, hey you were the one that decided to hide in there!” Carrot teased. “Now c'mon, I’ll help you get out!” Carrot offered cheerfully, unable to find the sight of the thieving colt getting a first hoof lesson of why crime doesn’t pay to be anything but amusing. Yet, it appeared she was wrong in thinking this was over.

She couldn’t help but look on in terror when a large wad of soggy coffee grounds surrounded by a golden glow came flying at her. Thankfully, she had managed to close her eyes in time, yet she wished the same could be said of her mouth.…

“Oh, Celestia” Carrot gagged, “Why!?” she croaked out in disgust, only to feel the colt trying to push his way past her.

“Oh no you don’t, not again!” she declared while pulling him against her chest, her strength easily overpowering the struggling colt as they rolled over onto the ground.

“Lemme go!” The colt squeaked in a rather irate tone. One she might have found cute had she any remaining tastebuds left. He kept trying to slip out of her grasp but she kept his upper legs pinned against his chest while she held him again her chest. His struggles gradually became weaker as she spent at least a minute spitting out the coffee grounds and whatever else had filtered into them. Great, she was caked with that and the slightly damp mud now, too. This morning was just full of all kinds of suck.

“Now, why did you...." Carrot began to question in an annoyed tone as she relaxed her grip now that he had stopped struggling. This was obviously a mistake, for the colt sunk his teeth into her leg that held him and in turn redoubled his efforts to escape.

“Oww!... that hurt you little shit...." Carrot yelped as she quickly gave up on what little tact she had. She quickly pinned him down with her weight and restrained his head with her hooves in order to keep herself safe from his horn and mouth.

“Please don’t hurt me…” the colt feebly pled as he looked back at Carrot with a quivering lip and tears forming in his eyes.

“Hey, I’m not going to hurt you…” Carrot spoke in a quiet tone. She had been kinda rough with him… and couldn’t help but feel kind of guilty.

“You’re not?” The colt said while sniffling, looking back at her like an abused puppy. Something felt off as she gazed into his green eyes as they teared up…. but she wasn’t sure what it was. Something familiar….

“I’m not going to, but you should already know that by now, considering I didn’t pay you back for that bite,” she said in annoyance while grimacing. Her right leg was throbbing in pain. He certainly wasn’t holding back when he bit her. She wasn’t going to let her guard down again.

“I’m sorry…” he said while sniffling while he gazed at something behind her.

“You do reali…” Carrot began reply but quickly took notice of…. Buck, was his horn glowing!? The thieving colt had made a mistake, she wasn’t going to let him trick her again. She quickly rolled over with him which caused him to squeak in surprise. This interrupted his concentration and his magic rapidly sputtered out. For all her efforts she was greeted with the sound of something that fell behind her with a disgustingly wet squelch. Now safe, she had no interest in letting let him find something else to use against her so she quickly covered his eyes while pinning him as before.

“You’re hurting me” the colt yelped but there was no sniffling, nor were his eyes wet…. Oh... That little bucker.… She wasn’t even being all that rough this time.

Now while she may have never been that good with foals, she knew she was correct for once. This was all an act, something she was used to dealing with on a regular basis thanks to a certain white unicorn who was a serious drama llama. That little shit, she had given him the benefit of the doubt just because he was a foal….

“I’m sorry, Shorty," She declared, waiting for him to spring the trap.

“You are?” He said while resuming his fake sniffling while she let him push the hoof covering his eyes away.

“I am,” she nodded noticing him trying to look around her but she kept him facing her. “Because you’re full of shit!” Carrot teased in a cheerful tone.

“What!?” The colt snickered in bemusement for but a second, only for him to return to biting his lip while looking at her as if abused. But his false tears were no longer there.

“You might want to take some acting lessons, your fake tears are gone by the way,” she declared proudly, knowing that the years of dealing with haggling ponies had paid off.

“They are not!” the colt argued back defiantly, no longer brimming with false tears.

“Then where’d they go? Besides, you don’t seem to be all that upset anymore,” Carrot gloated.

The little imp could only pout in rebuttal, while glaring daggers at her. Carrot smirked as she reveled in her victory.

“So, how’d the coffee grounds taste?” The little shit teased with an equally twisted smirk.

At this moment, Carrot had developed a slight eye twitch, and she knew what had to be done. This little bucker was getting a noogie, and possibly a… no that wouldn't be.… yeah, it was a perfectly reasonable thing to do at this point she mused while giving him the noogie that he may not have needed, but it was certainly the one that he deserved. The universe’s answer for crimes left unpunished.

If only she knew…

“Stop that!” the colt squeaked in defiance. Carrot giggled, knowing it was finally time for the latter of those lessons. Had she not been so absorbed in the process of administering justice upon the Tartarus spawn, she may have heard the approaching hooves. Still she had more important matters to attend to, for while she was not good with foals, she was a veteran when it came to wet willies.

That the universe is neither fair nor is it just….

Lily was having a rather frustrating morning. It had started out well enough… but where had that little unicorn ran off to!? She had been desperately searching for him for some time now. While she didn’t like having to get others in trouble or lecture them, she knew this was something she couldn’t ignore. Stealing was simply wasn’t something he should be doing at any age and she would not allow a foal pick up such bad habits. Her desperation grew as she wondered where the parents were and if they were looking for him too? It only got worse while she went around asking other ponies if they had seen him, but nopony had...

Maybe, he didn't come this way? If that was the case, she was just wasting her time here. Carrot was probably still chasing him, or may have even caught him by now! With this thought, she cantered back towards the alley where they lost him.

While she drew closer to the alley, she heard some voices. It sounded like Carrot and a foal but there were also sounds of a struggle, Carrot had found him! This thought renewed Lily as she galloped around the corner only to find Carrot giving the little unicorn a noogie.

“Stop that!” the colt cried out in discomfort. Why was... was she going to? Oh, no, that sick, carrot obsessed mare would not succeed! That colt was not going to suffer from that slobbery hoof if she had a say!

“CARROT! What in Celestia’s name do you think you’re doing to that poor colt!?” She yelled valiantly, charging towards the pair.

After all many crimes go unpunished….

The time of judgment was nigh, for the Tartarus spawn relaxed after the first of his trials had come to pass. Now was the time to redeem him. Carrot would see to this as her thoroughly lubricated hoof drew ever closer to the little imp’s left ear as he turned his head towards her. At last justice would be served!

“CARROT! What in Celestia’s name do you think you’re doing to that poor colt!” Lily squeaked angrily

“Wha?” Carrot could only question as she turned her head, and in doing so was met with a wall of fluffy pink impacting against her. Despite the surprise she managed to secure the little bugger when she was rolled onto her back against Lils who had tackled her.

“Gross! Why is your hoof all wet?!” yelped the colt who was now facing skyward and flailing his limbs in disgust against the slobbery hoof that held him tight.

“Lils, what in Tartarus are you doing? He’ll run away again! Let me go!” Carrot grunted as she managed to slip away from Lily’s weak grasp. The two separating and getting up as the colt… Oh no, he was pretending to sniffle with tears in his eyes again!

“You’re hurting him, Carrot! Give. Him. To. Me," Lily stated in what she probably thought was an authoritative voice, but it came out kinda shrilly and rather agitated, Carrot thought.

“Fine, just give me a sec,” Carrot said while glancing down at the little shit who was definitely embracing his inner Rarity again. “You promise not to run?” she questioned, only knowing full well how pointless it was after she said it.

“She was picking on me!” the colt cried out, looking at her friend like he was a kicked puppy.

“I did no su…” Carrot quickly uttered, before a pair pink limbs quickly removed the foal from her grasp. Carrot could only look in dismay as Lily snuggled the little imp underneath her chin and against her chest.

“Don’t worry I won't let that brute hurt you anymore," Lily gently spoke to the foal who was busy burying himself in her soft coat. Carrot was anything but that! Sure she was a little rough around the edges at times, but her friend was being deceived by what was probably the second coming of Discord himself!

“But he.. Bwuh?!” she was left speechless upon realizing that little bucker was smirking as he silently blew raspberries in her direction! All while using Lils as shield! She could only open and close her mouth again and again with a look of utter befuddlement.

“Carrot how could you do that to this poor colt? Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Lily questioned grumpily.

“But… I… he... he was the one that started it!” Carrot said with a powerful and stern voice. She certainly was not blushing or stammering under the ever growing smirk of that accursed colt. Nor did she feel despair from the rather scathing look Lils was giving her right now. Taking his earlier deceptions into consideration, Carrot made sure she was blocking the exit as she desperately looked for some way to turn the tables.

“He’s just a foal, you know as well as I do you can’t just pick on him like that!” Lily lectured, while the evil one made sniffling noises under the protection of his pink barrier.

Carrot was quickly losing grounds in this argument and she wasn't a bad pony! Most of the time anyways.… Her ears shrank down while Lils kept gently comforting the evil colt.

“But that doesn’t mean that we won’t be speaking to your parents about this," Lils told the colt who seemed to go completely rigid at mention of his parents. Heh, now the tables have turned, wait till she gets him to drop his mask so Lils could understand the full scope of his evil!

“Not so confident now, are you?” Carrot gloated which earned her a scathing glare from Lily. Carrot decided to focus on her new nemesis at this point, who had… wait... was he actually?

Wow, he actually looked like he actually felt guilty now. His expression.. Ugh, she kinda felt bad for him. Just a little, but at the same time he chose to do what he did and would have to face the consequences. Everypony makes mistakes, he just had to learn from this one.

“So why’d you try to steal from my friend Carrot Top?” Lils asked the colt who just started to quiver and began to cry for real this time.

“Shh, calm down, it’ll be alright” Lily said while nuzzling him and running a hoof down his side to comfort him. Yet, what happened left them in shock. His sides.. Why? Oh Tartarus.. how did she miss.. that.. All those chunks of mud… now lying around on the ground from where they wrestled… even now they were hiding his features to an extent…. Buck, how did he get that thin? That was anything but healthy....

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please…," The colt sobbed, while his stomach rumbled again. He… he looked so ashamed and was trying his hardest to bury himself in Lil’s now filthy pink coat. Any doubts Carrot had of this being an act, were completely gone at this point.

Yet... now that she thought about it, that colt… how he acted in the marketplace… it all... made sense. She couldn’t help but feel bad for picking on him. Buck… she had tried to… but he kinda deserved it a little, right?...

Her friend Lily looked like she was in just as much shock as she held the quivering colt close. It looked like her friend was slowly absorbing all the facts of what led up to this point if her growing depression was anything to go by.

“I would have helped if you had just asked,” Carrot pouted in a rather dismissed and quiet voice. Normally she’d have some very strong words for a thief, especially after what he did but... but she couldn’t hold it against him, even with the flavor that remained ever prominent in her mouth.

Lily didn't say anything, she just nuzzled the little unicorn whose face now truly resembled a kicked puppy. Why did today have to turn out like this?

“I’m sorry…” the colt sobbed, his ears were completely down at this point. Carrot found herself wishing he’d go back to being like he was before, even when he was being a little shit... at least he looked kinda happy then….

“Shh… it’s ok, we’re not mad,” Lily said while sniffling and holding him close.

Carrot wasn’t sure what she could do… She’d never had to deal with anything like this before. She couldn’t move nor could she look away. She just stood there, like a bucking idiot watching her friend comfort the poor colt as he sobbed uncontrollably.

Carrot couldn’t let this get any more depressing than it already was. She decided to postpone most of the questions she had for the foal. At this point she was worried what answer she’d get if she asked about his family or what led to his current state… Still, she’d have some choice words for the family, this level of neglect was criminal.

All that shit could come later, for now… maybe some food would cheer him up. Though not too much, she read somewhere that a pony could get sick if they ate too much when they haven’t been eating regularly.

Either way, in order to clear the mood, she had to make a gamble. She might come across as a jerk but even in that case she hoped it would help dissolve this gloomy atmosphere. The colt did seem to get a kick out of cursing.

“C'mon you little shit, stop looking so down,” she said while playfully booping him on the nose. The colt sniffling as his nose scrunched in response and he grew slightly cross eyed. But he had stopped sobbing she noted. Lils on the other hand looked more than appalled “Want to get something to eat? It’ll be my treat, and you can choose," she declared happily, noticing his slowly changing mood.

“Carrot!” Lily yelped. “You... you…!” she stuttered but kept fumbling over her words. She was obviously upset with her colorful language but it seemed have the desired effect. The little unicorn’s sniffling began to fade away and in its place came the occasional giggle. He was still looking like Tartarus, but was improving. She ruffled his mane playfully and earned a small snort in return.

“Carrot! You can’t use that kind of language in front of a foal, no less referring to him by it!” Lils stated in what had to be shock.

“You’re kind of uptight, aren't you?” the colt teased while wiping away the last of his tears and sniffling a little. “Besides I’ve heard worse," he said while snickering at Lil’s reaction.

“Wha ...?” Lils sputtered out in surprise as she glanced down at the colt who was smirking now.

“Heh, if you think this is bad, you should see how she reacts when you say buck!” Carrot exclaimed happily. Her actions earned another chuckle.

“Buh," Lils declared, it looks like she had completely lost it. Her mouth kept opening and closing again and again, but no sound came out.

“So what are you feeling hungry for short round?” Carrot playfully teased yet immediately tensed up once she realized what she had just said.

“Carrot, I’m not short nor round, and my name is Sunny,” the colt declared in a fairly amused yet mildly agitated voice.

Lils just looked even more petrified as she glanced back and forth at the pair in despair. Carrot felt kinda… buck... Why did she say round of all the damned things that could have entered her mind? Did her subconscious hate her or something?

“Though I’d love to get a cheeseburger, some fries, and a strawberry shake…” The colt said with a pause and a rumble of his stomach. “Umm… could we get that, please?” he questioned. Heh, the colt’s tail was wagging and he was drooling as his stomach rumbled in a much deeper tone than before. Apparently, her faux something or whatever Rares had called it had been ignored. She certainly wasn’t going to argue with that.

“Sure, it’ll take about fifteen minutes to get there," Carrot said happily, basking in her success of reversing the shitty mood that was there before. Hmm, was kinda odd that he didn’t mention any specifics with those besides the shake. Eh, Sunny probably just preferred the basic hay burger with cheese and hay fries.

“Hey, Carrot. Think we broke Lils?” the colt questioned as he poked and prodded at his pink protector, which after the third poke caused Lily to jolt and squeak in surprise.

“What!?” Lils squeaked. “Oh… but umm…” she mumbled while looking nervous. Heh, guess she’d gotten absorbed in listening to the conversation.

“I don’t think either of you’ll be able to go into the restaurant as messy as you are," she stated factually while the colts smile began to wither... What the buck, Lils?

“But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t. Catch!” Carrot said as she ‘gently’ tossed her coin purse from her saddlebags to Lily.

“Eeep!” Lily squeaked while fumbling with the coin purse initially until it was gently held in a golden aura. Lily just blushed at her fumbling and nuzzled the colt in thanks while storing the coin purse in her saddlebags.

“That's true… a cheeseburger, fries, and strawberry shake right?” She asked.

“Yup!” The colt replied cheerfully.

“Alright I’ll get those soon, but you two still need to clean up, where do you want to meet up at?” her friend questioned. Carrot glanced down at the colt who looked rather entertained as he watched the two of them through his fluffy pink barrier.

“Huh…," Carrot pondered on this, she knew that the events of today would require a visit to the foal services in town. Her home was farther away than the town hall. Besides, she couldn’t just take somepony’s foal home with her to get cleaned up, she wasn’t that irresponsible. Well, most of the time… Hmm, there was the stream that ran through the town but that would be rather cold so that was a no go too. On that note, she couldn’t help but wonder where he picked up all that mud. Eh, she could ponder on all that later.

“Guess we’ll have to stop by the town hall, it's not too far away," she said with a pause. “We’ll get cleaned up there and then enjoy some food. Sound good, Sunny?” she questioned, trusting him not to run away this time.

“Yeah, that sounds good!” the foal squeaked in a happy tone as he abandoned the pink sanctuary, approaching Carrot only to stumble for a moment but he recovered quickly.

“You ok, Sunny?” Carrot asked while ruffling his mane and making sure he wasn’t going to fall over.

“Yeah... was just kinda dizzy there for a moment. Kinda cold too," Sunny said with a slight shiver. “Plus… I don’t really want to walk around like this...." he said while pointing out his thin sides that the mud was still doing a remarkable job of hiding what few ribs were showing. Ugh… Gotta quit forgetting about that….

“Sunny wait here with Lils, I’ll be back in just a sec," Carrot said. The pair just nodded in response, though Lils was looking rather depressed again. She didn't want to risk the mood dropping in her absence. So she quickly dashed back out of the alley and approached Daisy’s backyard. Thankfully, Daisy was not around at this time. She didn’t really want to get anypony else involved in this if she could, as Sunny seemed rather embarrassed about it....

As she glanced at the clothesline that hung over the fence she figured it’d be fine to borrow a towel. So with little fanfare she grabbed a black towel with her mouth and flipped it onto her back. That should offer him… what privacy he wanted. Buck, today was full of all kinds of suck… Actually, why couldn't she improve it? There was no reason she couldn’t try her hardest to make sure Sunny was happy and given the care he deserved. With this thought in mind, it didn’t take her long to get back to her friends. Heh, it seems the two were just relaxing in the sun while Sunny leaned against Lils who was nuzzling him.

“Ehr you go Sunny," Carrot said while tossing the black towel over his back. Sunny took a few moments to adjust it before he looked comfortable. He still looked rather filthy but it did hide.…

“Thanks, Carrot!” Sunny chirped while nuzzling her.

“Pfft” Carrot snorted. “No problem," she declared happily while ruffling his dirty mane earning a happy yet irritated squeak and slight push in return. “See you in a few then, Lils?” she questioned. Ugh, cleaning up would take a while, for the both of them. They both reeked of those foul smelling coffee grounds and whatever else was in that garbage. Something that would be far better left off unknown.

“Sure, but before you two go I have a question for Sunny," Lily said while looking nervously at the colt. Carrot and the colt looked back with interest. Carrot was hoping both she and Lily could keep up a strong front until this all got resolved. So why was she looking at him like that… she wasn't going to?

“Sunny, can you tell me where your parehmpf!” she started to say before Carrot’s disgusting hoof invaded her friends mouth.

“Pfffttt” Lily spat out something. “Oh sweet Celestia, that's disgusting, why would you do that!?” she asked in disgust while trying to spit out anything that remained from that horrible encounter. The colt seemed to find this situation hilarious thankfully, and just giggled at the scene. Carrot would not let him fall into a funk again.

“You always told me to think more before blurting out whatever comes to mind, I was just returning the flavor,” Carrot said while snickering at her choice of words. Sunny just groaned in what she imagined was disgust at her pun. Eh, some ponies.… Still, she gave Lils scathing glare with a shake of her head. Huh, she's burning red and looked like she got it. Good enough for now.

Lils would just have to be careful what she said around him unless she wanted to get her just desserts again. Carrot could only shiver now that her focus returned to the foul yet ever persisting taste in her mouth. She wasn’t really sure if she could ever appreciate coffee in the same way ever again.

“C'mon Sunny, let’s go get cleaned up,” Carrot said as she lightly bumped the giggling foal, earning a happy smile from the bemused colt for her efforts.

“Kay, see ya Lils!” the colt blurted out happily waving goodbye to her. Carrot waited patiently until Sunny was trotting alongside her. She was happy to say that he looked rather content now.

About half way there, Carrot was feeling rather upbeat when she glanced over to her little buddy. Heh, looked like he was distracted by a butterfly that had landed on his nose. The sight didn’t last long as he sneezed causing the butterfly to leave and search for a safer refuge. She also noted that the ponies nearby seemed to want to keep their distance. Carrot couldn’t really blame them as the duo were caked in filth, and probably didn’t smell much better.

Though, now that she had some time to think about it, she didn’t feel quite as guilty as she did before. Sure, she may have been a little rough at times, but he didn’t leave her much of a choice. Some of his actions felt playful, even when Sunny had teased her in front of Lils. But she was rather curious about what made Sunny tick. Did he pretend to be sad in order to distract others? No… well, maybe it could be. Carrot wasn’t sure if she was overthinking this. Still, she wanted to sate her curiosity, the only question was how to safely ask the question. No… maybe she could move on to something else. She didn’t really want to say anything that could upset him.

“Hey Sunny, I was wondering... ” Carrot started to say, but found herself at a loss for words. Getting no response, she glanced over and saw that Sunny was still following her. Heh, looked as if he was lost in thought but… his expression was wilting and tears were forming in his eyes. She wouldn’t let this continue, so she decided to do what came naturally to her by ruffling his dirty mane.

“Stop that!” he snickered while still sounding somewhat depressed. But his mood seemed to improving as he glanced up at her with what she assumed was curiosity and mild annoyance.

“Heh, you looked rather deep in thought. Can’t say it’s something I expected to see out of you,” Carrot teased playfully. She’d do her best to keep his mind off whatever it was that was bothering him.

“Says the one who was staring off into space at her stall this morning," Sunny swiftly replied in turn looking rather smug.

“I was not!” She exclaimed in surprise, not expecting him to tease back like that.

“You spent at least four minutes staring at the same page with such a glazed over look I found myself wanting to bet if your head would hit the book before your drool did!” he teased, leaving Carrot to only grumble in response. She couldn’t … have been drooling could she? She did get bored at times, but to do something like that so early…. Had the other stall owners… noticed as well? Nope! Nothing good will come of this train of thought. The question was how she could escape from this...

“Pfft” Sunny snorted while he gave her a slight push.

“Huh…. what's up, Sunny?” she asked nervously when realizing she had zoned out there.

“You looked like you were deep in thought. That’s a side I never expected to see out of you!” Sunny playfully mocked her. Oh that little shit… guess she walked into that one. She couldn’t help but find herself giggling at the change of pace.

Still, she was losing, so she did the only decent thing she could do. Carrot took the ‘high road’ and it was definitely not out of cowardice. No, she would be the mature one, and would try and change the subject.

“You teasing me in front of Lils was payback for tilting the garbage can with you in it, wasn’t it?” Carrot nervously said, hoping it worked.

“Nope!” he said proudly. YES, wait, it wasn’t?

“That payback came when I decided to share the coffee grounds you so generously shared with me!” The colt said in a cheerful but ever snarky manner. Maybe she shouldn’t have changed the subject… Still he was enjoying this, so she could just go with it.

“Besides the brochure said Equestria is supposed to be the land of love and harmony and all that crap, so sharing is caring, right?” Sunny chirped happily while snickering. While Carrot was mildly miffed at his thoughts regarding Equestria. She was far more interested in the last thing he said. Could that have meant he wasn’t from around here?

“So,” Carrot started to say but was interrupted by Sunny.

“Besides you’re cute when annoyed, you make this face like you’re angrily chewing on peanut butter,” the colt taunted while imitating a face that there is no way in Tartarus she would ever make!

“I made no such face!” Carrot replied with vigor and confidence only to…. Oh Celestia… she didn’t grind her teeth… like that, did she? Either way, she made sure to maintain what she hoped was a neutral mask, though she couldn’t stop her left eye from twitching.... She never… made a face like that, right?

The colt snorted, “That one isn’t half bad either!” while giggling. She could only blush and cringe as she heard some not nearly quiet enough laughter nearby. It sounded like it was coming from above, yet when she looked up, she saw nothing but clouds.

“Gahh…” Carrot groaned in frustration while trying to fight her ever growing blush. “Stop that, you’re only doing that to tease me!” Carrot pouted, feeling only slightly perturbed at losing in this battle of snark. Heh, it seemed the little bugger had some fangs.

“Of course I’m only doing it to tease you! Besides, it wouldn’t be fair if Lily suffered alone, would it? You seem to thrive on teasing her," Sunny said smugly.

“I don’t pick on Lils!” Carrot said grumpily without thinking only to find the colt was giving her a rather condescending smirk. As much as she hated to admit, it was rather hard to deny just how easy a target Lils was.

“Fine… I do sometimes…" she grumbled, “But I don’t like being called cute," she pouted in defeat. She always hated being called that, it always made her feel like a foal. Sure she wasn’t all that mature or even a ‘proper’ lady yet she was anything but weak. She was a strong independent mare and that word always came off as demeaning for some reason….

“Why?” The colt questioned in surprise, “You’ve got a great smile, a beautiful coat, and a well styled mane and tail," The colt declared in a confused but very honest tone.

“I…. uhhh…” She mumbled while hoping she was anything but beet red at this point. Sunny was merely looking at her with the same curiosity as before.

“Thanks...." She said with a smile. Heh, that was embarrassing. She hadn’t really expected such an honest answer like that. Especially from a young colt no less as most foals still found the opposite sex gross around his age. Still, even as awkward as it was, she found it to be a nice complement. Heh, Sunny may be a bit of a brat at times, but he wasn't so bad.

“Oh how could I forget that...." Sunny said while facehoofing, looking slightly annoyed with himself.

“What’d you forget?” Carrot asked, wondering what he could have forgotten.

“Your flanks, they’re like an onion” He said coyly. “They’re so juicy they make me want to cry!” he teased while making a sniffling sound.

“Buh…” Carrot said in the most eloquent of ways… as her consciousness returned from whatever void it was residing in. SHE. WAS. NOT. BLUSHING. Oh sweet Celestia no, who had heard that? She desperately glanced around only to notice the sounds of the strangely familiar laughter were coming from above in the clouds — yet she still couldn’t see anypony.

“Seriously though, they’re great, I bet I could bounce a bit off them!” Sunny declared while smiling at her. How the buck could he look so innocent and still be able to say something like that!?

“You can’t be saying things like that to a mare!” She declared in a stern and not so squeaky voice. She hasn’t been this embarrassed since….

“Sorry... was just teasing...." he said with a quiet and guilty sounding voice while pouting in what she prayed was defeat as his gaze fell to the ground.

Carrot was glad that he stopped there as she finally had a moment to calm down and think. The mare couldn’t help but dread whoever had overheard them earlier. That laughing… oh please don’t let it be who she thought it was…. Still, She’d never have guessed Sunny could be such a little perv. Heh, flanks like an onion… Pfft... How in Tartarus did that little shit come up with that? She’d have to remember that one for later.

“That's ok, I was just surprised,” She said in relief while ruffling his mane. Her efforts had earned her yet another irate squeak when her hoof was pushed away.

“Still…” Carrot mumbled while thinking of the right thing to say. “You should be more careful about what you say, if it was any other mare you could have gotten slapped for that Sunny," she lectured. Though, to be honest Carrot was rather impressed Sunny had managed to turn the tables on her like that. He might be a little shit but he was crafty at times. Could just be she was getting rusty. Maybe? Rares and Lils did make for rather easy targets after all…. Nah probably not, though it wouldn’t hurt to look for some new targets in the future.

Yet, now that she had time to think about it… some of the things he said certainly left more questions that had to be answered later at foal services. Something she hoped she was horribly wrong about….

“Thanks for being understanding about it...." Sunny said while giving her a hug, one she couldn’t help but reciprocate as he was snuggling against her rather dirty coat. Ugh… this little bugger… well she could hardly hold it against him… She felt rather sullen over the situation Sunny was in. Life may not always be fair… but she’d do her best to reverse that in his case. She heard a whooshing sound fading off into the distance, glancing up she found nopony once again...

“But… was what I said really that wrong?” he questioned nervously, looking to her with honest curiosity.

“Umm…” Carrot was going to be careful in choosing her words this time. She may be many things but her mother didn’t raise no foal.

“What exactly do you mean Sunny?” She questioned nervously...

“Well… I know that what I said was kinda crass but I meant them as a compliment," he said while shuffling his hooves and looking embarrassed. “Don’t mares like to be teased like that sometimes?” he questioned while blushing and looking to her for answers she was anything but prepared to give….

“Umm…” Carrot mumbled feeling awkward, “Sometimes, but you really have to be careful about what you say, not to mention you shouldn’t say anything like that to somepony you just met. Not everypony will take it the same way," she answered honestly, hoping he learned something from this.

“So does... pfft,” he snickered, “that mean you’ll teach me the right things to say to a mare?” Sunny questioned while obviously trying not to laugh. Something he was failing miserably at.

Carrot couldn’t help but snicker in response. She should have known better. Ugghh.... Maybe a noogie would succeed where words had failed her.

“You’re far too young to be acting like that, now repent imp!” Carrot giggled while giving the colt a noogie as the pair came to a stop. The colt squealed in despair as he tried to break her grip.

She could only hope she was never this bad as a filly. Then again… This wasn’t karma, was it? She shuddered, lost in thought. The colt seeing her weakening grip slipped out of it and….

“Oh I see how it is," he spoke as if offended. “A foal like me couldn’t possibly appreciate what flowers bloom beneath the gentle curves of a mare’s flanpffttts," Sunny said in a deceptively innocent yet rather dramatic tone while wagging his tail until the foulest of hooves invaded the sanctity of his mouth. The colt in question could only gag as he tried to spit out the repulsive taste.

Yet it appears this crime did not go unpunished….

“Gross! That's what it bucking tastes like!?” he squealed in pure and utter revulsion while spitting out as much of the offensive substance as he could.

“I didn’t have a bar of soap on hoof so I went with the next best thing," Carrot declared cheerfully when removing her hoof, with the knowledge that justice had been done. Glancing in the colt’s direction she could see he was smacking his lips in disgust and looking at her with eyes that promised unholy vengeance.

“Sunny...." Carrot mumbled while face hoofing, “How would you even know about that at your age?” Carrot questioned while rubbing her temple. But quickly regretted blurting that out. She was wrong, she did not take to heart the lecture Lily gave her on saying things without thinking. This was a conversation she did not need to have nor was she ready for.

Worst of all, not only did she ask a question which opened her up to further teasing if the past few conversations were anything to judge by.… But, most of all, she was afraid of the answer she could get. Please, please don’t let it be anything horrible.

“Health class and some magazines?” Sunny answered looking rather perplexed. Though he was still grimacing as he rotated his tongue around in his mouth, and spitting from time to time.

“Buh?” Carrot exclaimed in a very eloquent manner once again.

“I’m twelve, Carrot. I was taught about all that stuff in a boring class two years ago," Sunny stated while remaining unreadable to her for once.…

“But they don’t teach that stuff until you’re at least fourteen!?” Carrot yelped, only to stop upon realizing it. “You’re not from Equestria are you?” she questioned before she realized what she had just asked. Why was her subconscious such a glutton for punishment?

“Nah,” Sunny stated sounding somewhat depressed and looking rather lost in thought.

Carrot was rather perturbed with herself. She definitely didn’t want to question him on this any further, but how did he get here? That could come later, focus on distractions for now.

“C’mon then,” Carrot said while playfully shoving him, earning yet another squeak in return. “I don’t know about you but I’d do just about anything to get rid of this taste in my mouth," Carrot declared with grimace, as she spat out what was hopefully the last of those coffee grounds. She started to trot ahead but didn’t hear her little buddy following.

Turning her head and glancing downwards, she saw that his smile brightened immediately and he was chuckling about something while shaking his head?

“Hey, what’s so funny?” Carrot questioned in bemusement as she poked him a few times as he continued to chuckle.

“Ppfft…” he snorted, “Phrasing!” he giggled while looking at her with an ever growing smirk...?

“What? I didn’t say anything weird, I just said I wanted to…" She said before facehoofing with a deep sigh.... “Oh Celestia, just banish me to Tartarus now. This little perv will be the end of me...” she thought with a chuckle.

“You aren’t making all these mistakes on purpose, are you Carrot?” Sunny said cheerfully while continuing to snicker.

Carrot found herself zoning out…. Perhaps she could get away with giving him the wet willey after all…?

“Hey Carrot?” Sunny said in a rather soft tone.

“What’s up?” She asked while glancing at the colt, wondering if he was feeling down again.

“Thanks for putting up with all my crap” he softly said. “I know I can be a bit of a jerk at times but thanks for looking out for me," Sunny said with a shaky voice as he sniffled a little.

She snorted, “I’m not mad at you Sunny,” Carrot responded, “If anything I’ll give you credit for just how full of shit you are,” she giggled while ruffling his mane.

“Stop that!” Sunny squeaked adorably as he pushed away the hoof ruffling his mane. Carrot was rather bemused so she got close enough to whisper in his ear and….

“Say, want to help me pick on Lils and an overly dramatic fashionista sometime?” Carrot whispered playfully, hoping he’d jump at the chance at giving her some new material to work with.

“Sure,” he agreed. “Friends?” The colt said while reaching out with his hoof.

“Friends," Carrot snickered as she gave him a hoof shake. He really wasn’t too bad at heart, maybe a bit of a little perv… Ok he was definitely a perv…. Still, she was just happy that she could help him, but really didn’t want to dwell on how this had all happened....

“But I gotta say today wasn’t half bad, I think I learned something important," Sunny declared with pride.

“Oh, what's that?” Carrot asked in shock, he seemed rather serious for once.

“I’m far too young to be flirting with a mare of your venerable years,” he declared sagely with a nod.

“I’m glad you...." Carrot started to say with pride before she felt like she wanted to die of embarrassment. “Hey, you little shit, don’t make me out to be some old granny!” Carrot yelped out in growing frustration, knowing full well what she had done to deserve this...

“Aww, there there,” Sunny said while patting her shoulder, “If that's the case, it just means I’ll have to wait a few years till I can convince you to make a stallion out of me!” Sunny said with the most shit eating grin she had ever seen.

“Oh Celestia, you’re nothing but pure evil, aren’t you?” Carrot said in a defeated tone while chuckling. She definitely did not squeak, nor was she trying to hide her growing blush and shame at falling for what she now saw as an obvious ploy.

“Eh,” Sunny replied, shaking his hoof back and forth, “A little column A, a little column B,” he happily stated.

“Pfft,” Carrot snorted, “You’re alright sometimes, you know that, Sunny?” Carrot stated while booping him on the nose, causing his face to scrunch up while he went cross eyed in a rather cute fashion.

In return for this action, she was met with an irate squeal and him trying but failing to bite the leg that had just assaulted his snout. Carrot found it impossible to not giggle at Sunny’s failed attempt as the duo trotted onwards. It was surprisingly peaceful for a time. Carrot found herself relaxing and enjoying a mostly quiet walk with her little buddy in tow.

Yet, it seemed they were drawing closer to the town hall now. Now, the real question was how would she explain or even approach this.… Lost in her thoughts, she rounded the corner of a building only to crash and topple over into somepony as her vision was obscured by a very soft and fluffy wall of white that let out a rather whiny squeal.

A short trip to the ground later Carrot found herself quickly recovering, thankful that she hadn’t fallen on Sunny. “Still not out of the woods yet though,” she thought in desperation as she glanced around to make sure he hadn’t been hurt until…. “Huh, guess he had hopped out of the way in time,” she mentally noted. Wait, why was he looking at her while snickering?

“Oww,” Carrot yelped in shock, a hoof had just hit her side, followed by more hits and sompony struggling to get away from her. “Stop flailing around and I’ll get off of you!” she grunted in annoyance as the other pony only struggled more, the muffled squeals growing ever more shrill. The only other sound to greet her was Sunny laughing....

Carrot got rather sick of the other pony and tried to get up but the other pony’s legs just wouldn’t stop flailing around her. Growing frustrated she rolled over facing the pony and tried to push away only to….

“Yo, Rares,” Carrot snickered as she withdrew her now wet hoof. “Pffft…” Carrot snorted... “You... alright?” she questioned in a very bemused and shaky voice letting out only the occasional snicker.

Oh Celestia, if only she had a camera right now. This was priceless, no it was more than that, it was truly a rarity. A master piece for the ages. The way in which her friends face was…. was contorting…. the absolute disgust and terror as the fashionista glared daggers at the offending substance on her once clean snout and coat as her mouth opened and closed.…

Still, she imagined Rarity would probably be more than livid right now if that white puff ball wasn’t trying so hard to spit out whatever else Carrot’s hoof had picked up on the journey to the town hall.

This could only mean that…’IT. WAS.THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING to probably happen to her friend in the past few hours… maybe even less... Still, she knew now that Rarity was completely wrong in knowing what her cutie mark meant. She had somehow managed to turn this turd of a day into a sparkling gem, if Sunny and his constant snickering was anything to go by.

“Ah, c’mon Rares it's not that bad!” Carrot exclaimed with a chuckle as she noticed Rares had almost fainted upon seeing just how much filth had been spread across her coat.

“You…. you.. I”LL GET YOU FOR THIS YOU CARROT OBSESSEpffftt!” Rarity shrieked in the most painfully shrill tone she had ever heard as something dashed in front of her….

“No, she's mine you can’t have her!” Sunny valiantly declared with a dramatic flair as he... he… oh, Celestia and here she thought this couldn’t possibly get any better! No, this was definitely ‘the best possible thing’! Rarity’s eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets as she turned her gaze down at the invading hoof stuck in… pfft. … Wait… was she!?

“Umm… oops?” Sunny giggled nervously in worry as he withdrew his hoof from her friend whose eyes had glazed over as they rolled into the back of her head.

“Rares!” Carrot yelped while catching her now limp friend before she fell… The only response given from the fashionista was a slight line of foamy drool coming out of her mouth and the gentle rise of her chest. Pfft…. Of course she had fainted from that.

“Is she going to be okay?” Sunny nervously questioned with genuine concern.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine," Carrot said offhoofedly. “To be honest, this is kinda normal for her," Carrot said with a chuckle as she glanced around, noticing nopony was nearby to help with reviving her fallen friend. She’d do it but…. well she didn't want to be around when Rarity woke up.

“She's weird," Sunny stated in bemusement. Carrot figured Rares drooling probably wasn’t helping matters.

“Yup, but we’re all weird in our ways, otherwise it’d be kinda boring, wouldn’t it?” Carrot questioned in the defense of her now comatose friend.

“Hey, stop being all philosophical about it, you’re spoiling my fun!” Sunny pouted grumpily.

“Okay then," She said with a smile. “You’re calling Rares weird? This coming from the little perv that watched me stare at my books for who knows how long?” she questioned with a smirk.

“It was only four minutes or so!” Sunny squeaked in embarrassment.

“Oh and I suppose that makes it better, my little stalker?” Carrot said while chuckling at the change of pace. She wouldn’t underestimate that imp again, colt or not.

“But… I… wasn’t…” the colt said while blushing and struggling with words for a change. Something Carrot would have to thank Celestia for later. “You suck...." he grumbled with a pout as he kicked a pebble.

“Aww, there there,” Carrot said in a comforting tone while patting his shoulder, causing the colt to snort while he glared daggers at her. “You can’t win ‘em all, Sunny, now let's go get cleaned up, the town hall is just over there,” Carrot said cheerfully as she pointed out the building that was just across the square from where they were.

“What about her?” Sunny questioned while pointing at her friend.

“Oh I’ll send for somepony to help her when we get inside, I don’t think either of us will want to be around her when she comes to," Carrot said with a nervous chuckle.

“Heh, guess you got a point, okay lead on oh wise one,” Sunny stated in a mocking tone with slight bemusement. Carrot just snorted and lightly pushed him earning a squeak and a glare in return as they trotted towards their destination.

Carrot couldn’t help but let her mind wander over the events of this morning that had led up to this point. She kinda hated herself for thinking it, but she had a lot fun hanging out with the little bugger despite all of what happened to him…. She just wished there was something more she could do for Sunny. Nopony should ever have to go hungry like that…. Was… was it possible he could suffer any permanent damage from it? She hoped not, but wondered just how long it would take to nurse him back to health.

Would the foal services have any problems with her checking up on him? Sunny kinda looked rather lonely at times, so she really hoped they wouldn’t. Suddenly she felt a tug at her leg which freed Carrot from her rather depressing thoughts.

“Oh we’re already here…” Carrot stated in saddened tone as she gazed up at the pink double doors where she’d have to explain the events of today. Well, Lils should catch up shortly, so she’d have some extra support.

“You ok, Carrot?” Sunny said while nuzzling her.

“Pfft” the mare snorted while glancing down at the colt who was comforting her. That was her job... “I’m good, let’s head in and get cleaned up,” Carrot said happily as she returned the nuzzle. Taking a moment to collect herself, she took a deep breath and pushed the doors open leaving behind a rather filthy imprint on both it and floor as the duo trotted inside.

Carrot was sure the cleaning mare would adore them for what they were about to track inside. Oh well, every job had its quirks, she mused as she heard a mare shriek in what could only be despair.

C'est la vie.

One would imagine Ponyville’s marketplace would have quickly gone back to its normal state after six brave ponies sacrificed themselves for the greater good. And they would be partially correct. For only three of the valiant party were able to make it out in time. The other members of the party however… those poor souls, they were trapped. They had been foolhardy, each one seeking to outdo the other. Many say that haste makes waste. Something that would certainly apply to this situation considering the circumstances.…

Freeing the three tortured souls from their prison was anything but simple, and was only possible thanks to a rather generous application of butter. Butter the all spice, the all tasteful, and that which governed the breakfast table. It was in this noble concoction that they found freedom when their fellow ponies pulled them from the narrow alley that they had jammed themselves into. Wherever the other three went nopony knew, yet the crisis had passed. It was peaceful for a time. But alas, this was Ponyville, and what would appear tranquil was truly nothing more than the calm before the storm.

That was when tragedy struck, for an ill wind blew into town. Oh if only, if only somepony had seen fit to notice. Maybe something could have been done. But it was far too late for this poor soul.… His doom was sealed the moment his ever vigilant zompony ventured off, leaving him defenseless.

That was when that wind struck and it struck without mercy. Poor Mr. Flibbles was eviscerated and scattered to the four winds. Only one mare would mourn his loss, yet there could be no funeral for there was nothing left of the once proud dust bunny. What sick and twisted creature would allow such a world as this one to exist?

RIP

Mr. Flibbles

1032 AF - 1032 AF

Meanwhile….

The sound of her trademark golden horseshoes gently clopping along the white marble heralded the coming of Princess Celestia. Ponies bowed down left and right to their ruler, as she passed with measured steps through the ancient halls of Canterlot Castle.

Her ever colorful mane swayed in an invisible breeze and on her muzzle was a well-practiced smile, gained through the many trials and tribulations she faced over the years. The Princess was disciplined, offering a benevolent and caring presence to her subjects.

At last, she had reached the great mahogany doors bearing her mark. A pair of guards standing watch at the doorway shuffled to the sides upon the approach of their Princess, their heads inclined in a respectful manner, the princess merely smiling at them in return as the heavy doors opened. With grace, the regal Princess crossed the threshold and when the doors closed she was finally alone….

Her smile dropped and she sighed. Unceremoniously she tossed her crown onto a nearby table, and plopped down a on a sofa in the middle of the room spreading herself across it in a very unlady like manner. At last, she could find relief.

“Mmm... thats better,” she quietly moaned as she sunk into the luxurious sofa, while massaging her temples and sore neck with her magic.

Dealing with the issues of ruling this land was trying enough, yet during breakfast, Luna… Why… Why, did her sister insist that it had been their… Father, who was moving everything behind the scenes. First it had been about Discord, then Luna tried arguing about her time as Nightmare Moon — yet again. Luna believed that he had saved her from Discord’s twisted magic, but that was hardly the case… in a way he was indirectly... Celestia grimaced, she had tried so hard to forget him, to move on from his neglect.

The so called ‘evidence’ Luna presented in the argument was laughable really, yet while she poked holes in the logic of it, she remained as diplomatic as possible... Luna had made herself out as a bigger monster than she had been when she was Nightmare Moon. She literally believed there would have been a massacre, if she had been left unsupervised that night.

Celestia was no fool, sure, some of the events could be explained by their father’s meddling. However, many things could be explained by the meddling of an omnipotent being if one had just enough faith. Life was a fickle thing and many inexplicable events came to pass with no rhyme or reason. She looked for the signs, and there were none.

And worst of all her sister had underestimated the role Celestia played… She was the one that had set the events upon the stage, not the father that had abandoned them… It hurt... Did her sister even know what she did to her by bringing up that human again and again? Of course not... for her sister... for her ponies she needed to be strong. She didn’t have the luxury to openly show her feelings. She always did this, she didn't have to, but she....

Regardless, it was through gentle pushes that the Princess of the Sun had orchestrated her sister’s return. Twilight…. While she still believed her manipulations to be necessary… she still hoped that Twilight could find it in her heart to forgive her…. should she ever learn the true extent of her meddling… then again would that wonderful lavender unicorn even view her actions as wrong… even she believed the Princess of the Sun to be perfect... And Twilight Sparkle had been her personal student for most of her life, being the closest thing she had to family besides her sister now.

But how was she really different from him? Using a loved one to achieve her goals? These questions tortured her more and more as the years came to pass. For she had become a lot like her father, as much as she tried to deny it. The way in which she approached challenges, and reached her goals were mostly done through subtle manipulation and cunning. She offered little regard for the interests of those that opposed her.

While she regretted these choices, she could hardly fault the results nor the efficiency at which she could solve the problems plaguing her lands. But she would not be like her father, it was after all, for the greater good.

It had been so easy to judge him based on deeds alone, but now.... She wasn't so sure anymore, after more than a thousand years had come to pass, everything just started to fade from good triumphing over evil to just different sides fighting over an argument. Black and white gradually gave way to a rather murky grey. But, to forgive him for his actions with such thoughts. She knew she couldn’t, there was no way in which she could justify the many crimes he was guilty of nor did she want to.

In any event, that farce of a father was not involved, of that Celestia was certain. If he had taken part in freeing Luna, there would be clues left behind. He wasn’t the only one that could work behind the scenes.

If anything, he was proof that none could be perfect. He didn’t even try to protect Luna from the tainted artifacts Discord left behind. He admitted that he could have destroyed them so Luna would never have found them, yet he left things as they were. Oh how Celestia loathed him that day, the vitriol she spewed forth… that.. that was the last she had seen of him….

Why did Luna insist upon the pipe dream of a family reunion when it.... it just wasn't going to happen. She could not find it in her heart to correct Luna on some of the misconceptions regarding their… creator.

While Luna may have found Discords journal, Luna did not open it. She was worried it could have been a trap. Something, Celestia had agreed with, but after checking it for twisted magics and the like. She found nothing, and Luna was already asleep. Curiosity overtook her, she wanted to know what was inside and took what she had felt at the time had been necessary precautions. So, once she felt safe, she read while her sister slept, as she delved deeper into the book, she snapped. She figured there would little but drivel in this book or perhaps some clue to just how Discord was able to bend the world to his will. What she got instead was...

The filth that was spread across some of these pages was beyond twisted, a hideous lie that she could not allow to exist… So she destroyed them, Luna wouldn’t be subjected to such deceit, but she couldn’t destroy them all for her sister wanted to see it as well. She knew them to be false, or at least she thought she did at that time. Yet as the years rolled by... they took turns constantly searching for something, anything they could find to prove the remaining accusations false.

While she hated to admit it… She could not help but find truth in Discord’s writings given proper time to find… The things she knew... but her sister didn’t. Why had he… that thing… no, Discord was his true family. Luna would not know, both of them have suffered enough from his neglect.

Her father was a hypocrite and a coward, of that she had no doubt. His so called righteousness was merely an illusion he passed on to his daughters... to deal with his wayward son. No, he was the one that brought disorder and decay to this realm, and all for what… was it truly for progress? Was it for some twisted form of entertainment? What was it that really made him do this...?

She doubted she would ever know. So much was lost through time. Her time as a ruler wasn’t spotless either… Still, she didn't enjoy the actions she had to take. He and Discord on the other hoof, were truly kindred spirits, the only difference being one had a more subtle touch and wouldn’t share his ‘toys’ with the other.

Still what remained of the journal eventually shattered their image of him. She wouldn't allow Luna to know the full scope of his betrayals… No, Luna had faced enough tribulations when… Sombra... yet another noble soul fell to Discord’s twisted games, or rather their Father’s endless schemes and neglect. She wouldn’t let him harm Luna again if he was even still… Try as she might, she could not stop the tears from forming in her eyes....

“Why did you do this to us…. Were we even family to you…. Did you ever love us? Was it because of me? Is that why you left?” she begged, looking to the ceiling for the answers she knew weren't there.

And as always, she was only greeted with silence. She took in a deep shuddering breath...

“No, you never did, we were just tools you cast aside once we failed in our purpose of freeing your son from his madness. We were something you left behind to clean up your mess, something to protect the world in your absence...." she vehemently spat towards the ceiling, feeling a mixture of anger and despair.

Celestia knew there would be no answer. Still...

She had so many questions left unanswered… their father, Prometheus. Was he even still out there? If not, had he left for another world, was this world even the first one he created? Was he watching? Could this world survive without him? Was he still alive? She didn’t know, the only other thing she could gather from those ramblings was that he may have truly cared for his creations in his own twisted way, so why wouldn’t he look after his daughters as well? Was she making a mistake in her judgment of him?...

No... he was gone and nothing would come of brooding further on this subject. Nothing would change. Dwelling on this was a mistake, she mused, as she pulled a rather decadent looking chocolate cake towards her with her magic. Her mood gradually flashed from depressed to that of a foal in a candy shop, still the corners of said shop were rather gloomy.

She spent enough time on matters long since passed, she still had time to redeem this day. The only question was, how would Luna react to moonpies? Still, her sister had seemed rather interested in that falling star from the night prior. Eh, all in due time she mused while sloppily gorging herself upon cake.

Author's Note

AN, DeepThought:

You can thank Lord of Hentai for this chapter. Without him it would have been a couple of weeks more...

AN, The Magical Hobo:

I can't promise this chapter is 100% error free due to my internet/computer being out of whack for several days, but I did my best to fix any major errors, and if anyone finds any please PM them to me or DeepThought.

And don’t get used to this pace of updates, if my whip has anything to say about it they’ll be even faster. ;)
- The Guy Who Has To Do Almost Nothing (Editor) The Magic Hobo

AN, Lord of Hentai:

I forgot to update my hentai this week, for a Sad panda is I nauw. Also halp, philosophical fapping and raging brainers won’t stawp!
Sincerely,
Lord of Hentai
Your resident sploogefest of a mindscape.
PS.
Poetry is ghetto philosphical fapping, also it tis EVIL! Fie on thee mein Hobo and Menses senpai, a pox on your households both!

Chapter 3 - Greasing The Wheels

"The mind is everything...

What you think you become."

Buddha

“Now, where the buck was it…” she mused as she threw open yet another cabinet to no avail. Eh, at least today was going to end well. The morning had started out boring enough, just had to help clear the skies, practice some stunts, but after that she had nothing left to do....

All her friends were busy with work, or other boring crap like that. She’d have bugged them, but they didn’t really appreciate her idea of ‘fun’ too much during work hours… Well, unless she wanted to help out with their tasks, but there was no way was she going to waste her free time like that. Not unless they really needed it at least.

No, she chose to use her time efficiently as always… Ugh, did she just think that? Buck, that's probably something her favorite lil’ egghead would say…

“Just great… good job, Dash,” she muttered to herself, browsing yet another cabinet in search of her prey. At least she had gotten a thirty minute power nap.

Heh, choosing odd locations to nap in often provided ways to cure her boredom. It was rather amazing, the kind of bizarre or hilarious things which would come her way. Which is what led her to this current point.

Yet, she was still faced with one issue... “Where the buck did I leave the peanut butter at?”

This was the twelfth cabinet she’d searched through for Celestia’s sake! And, well… she knew she might be a bit of a slob but the lair of the mighty Dash wasn’t this disorganized… Okay, that was obviously a lie, but buck… was she really out of peanut butter? That was anything but acceptable! Still, she had at least found an onion… heh, that line was gold.

She’d have to leave her Fortress of All Things Awesome and go to the market… “Nah… maybe I could,” she grinned… “Heh, that’ll work!” she exclaimed, before she sped out of her house and off towards the town leaving the door wide open....

In no time at all, she was outside of Sugarcube Corner, floating near the front door. Glancing through the open window she noted Mr. Cake was at the counter. Feeling generous, she chose to casually open the door and stroll inside rather than her usual fare.

“Good morning!” Mr. Cake greeted cheerfully upon hearing the bell ring when she entered. “Not coming through the window today, Rainbow?” he lightly chuckled.

“Hey, Mr. Cakes! Not this time but...” She greeted back before she darted over to the counter, “Sorry, I’m kinda in a rush. Is Pinkie here?” she asked excitedly.

“Yup, she's just taking a break upstairs,” Mr. Cake replied with a nod towards the stairs.

“Thanks Mr. Cake!” she said happily before blasting out the front door and back into the sky.

“...stairs next time!” Mr. Cake yelled out at her.

“Heh, guess I could use the stairs but it's not nearly half as fun as the window,” Dash thought as she sped around the shop house or was it a house shop? Eh, either way she stopped before impacting her friend’s bedroom window….

Ugh, she wouldn’t make that mistake again. Might be fun to do at the library. Well, generally more fun when the window was open but she couldn’t always count on that…

Eh, either way, the last time she barreled through here she had ended up…. Nope, she already told herself she wouldn’t think on it again… but by Celestia’s Teats it had taken ages to get all that cotton candy out of her wings…

“Stop that… focus Rainbow!” she reprimanded herself.

She was here to get some peanut butter from Pinkie and see if she was up for some pranking! As she raised her hoof to knock on the window she was met with a very odd sight.…

“Today… is weird,” Dash thought.

Pinkie was controlling a ridiculously small pair of tongs as she deep fried equally tiny donuts from a stove that would seem small even for a foal. Was this really all that weird? Nah, this was bucking par for the course with Pinks…

Huh, now she was she also brewing a tiny pot of coffee? Maybe now would not be a good time to knock… Hot beverage and all, plus Pinks did look rather intense, at least in how seriously she seemed to be taking her... umm, duties?

Why was she even doing this? Then again, why did Pinkie do half the things she did? Nopony really knew, and these were thoughts probably best left behind, so with that in mind...

What!? Now where did she get that tiny ice cream machine from?! Eh... maybe, she could bug Pinkie later... Yeah, she looked rather busy after all.

“I wouldn’t be a good friend if I disturbed her now…” Dash decided, before she flew away from… whatever that was.

Best to let cooking pink ponies do their thing or however that saying goes. Something about sleeping dogs… Meh, either way she could… yeah, the Treebrary was the next logical place to go! Maybe that nutty unicorn would have some peanut butter she could borrow.

“I mean it's fine to bug my friends during my time of need, right?” she muttered, now flying towards Ponyville’s one true house of all things nerdy.

She was confident that she had a legit excuse for once.

Now that we were finally in front of the Town Hall. I noted that Carrot Top my trusty escort and unwitting accomplice was looking rather nervous.

Nuzzling her, “You okay, Carrot?”

“Pfft,” Carrot snorted, while glancing down at me. “I’m good, let’s head in and get cleaned up,” she cheerfully said as she returned my gesture. That was certainly something I was looking forward to. While I was no stranger to foul and disgusting things, I had no wish to continue basking in them.

I couldn’t help but grin when Carrot threw all manners aside and loudly cracked open the doors to the town hall as she trotted ahead while I brought up the rear. I definitely did not envy the pony that would undoubtedly have to clean up this trail of filth we were leaving in our passage.

“Heh, speak of the devil…” I mused upon hearing a mare shriek in despair. Obviously, she had chosen the wrong profession if filth could perturb her so.

It seemed today was going to be a good day, for everything had pretty much unfolded in the way I had hoped it would. Well, besides the foul taste currently occupying my mouth. Still, some sacrifices would have to be made...

While my role would only suffer a minimal amount of scrutiny, I needed to remain cautious. Carrot and Lils were hardly the only ponies I had to prove myself to.

“Seriously!?” Carrot shrieked in mild annoyance, which in turn yanked me from thoughts and back to the….

I snorted, “Did she really faint?” noting the prone form of some random cleaning mare. The ponies of this time were a far cry from what their predecessors had once been, even as timid as they were in those days. In any event, progress comes in many forms...

“Yeah… Ugh, guess we’ll…” she began to grumble...

“Just what do you think you’re doing to Bubble Gum, Carrot?” came a mare’s rather stern and commanding voice from our right, though I could swear she sounded slightly amused.

“Uh… Hey, Mayor Mare, sorry?” Carrot called back, grinning sheepishly. It was then that I noticed the mayor Mayor Mare in question. Stepping out of nearby office, she held a more dignified or regal presence than most. Her hair was grey with streaks of white, her coat was well-kept and tan, but I could not make out her mark from this distance. Either way, she kept her stern gaze on us while waiting for answer that Carrot seemed to be unable to return. I suppose I’ll have to take over then, being ever the natural diplomat.

“Is she the Mayor Mare of mares everywhere?” I chuckled.

“Ugh, Sunny…” Carrot face hoofed with a sigh, though she couldn’t help giving a small chuckle.

The Mayor Mare of Mares that is a mare just tapped her right hoof irately as she appeared to be getting rather sick of this shit. Her childhood must have been evil, I mean sure it fit now but back then…? Hell, if her growing agitation was anything to go by she must have treasured her journey into adulthood...

Snickering, “I’m just teasing Mayor, I imagine Carrot here was trying to take me to someone that handles abused hatchl… err foals,” I said plainly before the ever befuddled Carrot could get a word in edgewise. Ugh, my stomach just growled again without my permission…. The mayor just looked at Carrot with interest while she kept me in eyesight out of concern. Suppose time will tell if my labors bear fruit.

She coughed, “Yeah, still, we’re sorry about all this,” she motioned around us and to the prone maid, “Think you can lead us there?” Carrot asked nervously. Heh, I’m sorry as well, am I?

The mayor just nodded and beckoned for us to follow as she trotted ahead and rounded a corner. A few twists and turns, and some dirty hoofmarks later we all came across a much desired wooden bench next to a door bearing the title of ‘Lemon Harvest of Foal Services & Accounting’ further down the hallway.

It always amazed me to see some of the bizarre and inefficient setups that the ponies would come up with. Then again, by their logic, I suppose it was not all that surprising that a town this small would rarely run into a case like ‘mine’. Why else would the one in charge of mistreated foals double as accountant? Shared offices, maybe? Is it because the suffering of an accountant, could in some way make them understand the pains of an abused child? Fun as this train of thought may be, time will tell the truth.

“I’ll be right back Carrot, please wait here and try not to make any more of a mess than you have to,” she said with a smile while slipping into the office.

For a time, an uncomfortable silence was all that passed between Carrot and me. Leaving me with little to do but listen to the conversation happening in the adjacent room. It seemed the mayor wanted a report on what was going on when possible, before the two began to review the procedures laid down by the bureau...

“So you knew where I was taking you?” Carrot questioned softly now glancing down at me with concern. I was still listening to the others but multitasking was hardly anything new to me.

“Yup! I mean, C’mon Carrot, you gotta admit this would be a weird place to clean up and eat at,” I said with a chuckle.

Hanging her head in shame, “Still, I’m sorry for not saying it directly.”

“Eh, no prob, you’ve treated me better than anyone else has in the last four months.” I said with a rather forced chuckle and shake of my head. Heh, left a few more crumbs for you, my sweet.

Carrot sniffled slightly before composing herself, “Thanks, Sunny,” she said while hugging me and ruffling my filthy mane, yet her sniffling had returned...

I snorted, “Hey knock that off, it's hard enough to woo a mare as old as you are let alone one in tears,” I squeaked while playfully nuzzling my head against her neck. Ugh.. we really, really needed to get cleaned up soon….

Carrot just laughed half-heartedly, “Yeah, yeah... laugh it up, imp,” she said happily while we leaned against one another. I suppose this would be a trying day for most… Eh either way, I was enjoying the chance for my muscles to get some much deserved rest. Yet, all good things must come to an end, for I heard the click of a door opening….

And out came Mayor Mare followed by… hmm another pony I did not recognize, she was a unicorn that had a rather dark grey coat, a mane and tail that was tinged with a bright yellow but also had shades of a light grey blended in, and lastly her tramp stamp which was a lemon... Really?

She wasn’t very fit, somewhat plump, but she wasn’t unpleasant to look at. She was also carrying a small briefcase in her yellow magic.

“Is there anything else you two needed help with?” Mayor Mare asked.

Carrot had just began to shake her head for ‘no’ before I poked her side, “Think of something white and rather whiney,” I joked. Heh, that was certainly a fun moment… I sometimes wondered if... the Everfree had tainted the areas around the forest in some way even I could not perceive. So many bizarre and entertaining incidents not of my doing seemed to congregate in this town, yet so few in the other areas near those cancerous spots...

Maybe the Elements themselves could be related to this odd circumstance? Or of course it could just be that, circumstance that is. Then again, it could be a butterfly effect from my own actions…

She face hoofed, “Ugh… I nearly forgot, can you send somepony to help wake up Rarity? She had one of her episodes at the corner of Scarlett's shop,” she declared in both shame and bemusement.

Mayor Mare just raised an eyebrow before nodding, “Very well, I’ll leave you in the caring hooves of Lemon Harvest,” she said with a smile before she trotted away.

With her exit, the pair of us glanced over towards the mare in question who was looking rather worried but cleared her throat before she trotted towards us.

She nodded at us in greeting when she came to a halt, “Hello, what can I help you with today?” she asked in a pleasant tone, but she was obviously nervous.

Carrot just hopped off the bench and in turn I lost my warm recliner, “Sorry, Lemon Harvest, hold that thought for a sec.” she said before glancing back at me, “Hey, Sunny, mind waiting here for awhile while I chat with her?” she requested. Heh, still scared I might escape, eh? Nah, but she's probably just being cautious, can’t really blame her... can I?

“Umm, that's fine, my legs are kinda sore anyways,” I replied while I stretched out fully laying down on the bench. This action was met with several pops and a pleasant groan from me. “I’ll be ok, just don’t take too long,” I requested in a worried but tired tone.

“I’ll be as quick as I can.” Carrot said cheerfully while she hugged me before she gestured with a shake of the head for Lemon Harvest to follow her to the end of the hallway. As they drew away I made sure to appear concerned as I kept my eyes on Carrot, hopefully appearing like I didn't want her to go away.

Once there, the pair came to a halt while both sat down with only their rear ends touching the once clean carpet. Though unlike Carrot, the other mare made sure the area she sat in was clean.

Carrot was looking rather nervous and was stumbling over her words. Probably because she was looking for a polite way to break the news to Lemon. Suppose she left me here to shelter me from having to chat about anything painful. We can’t have that, can we?

I could try and read their body and facial language but it was never all that accurate...

No, it would be far more easy to just adjust the inside of my ears. Within moments my hearing picked up, and I could make out sounds coming from all around the area I resided in. The typing of someone's typewriter, Carrot talking with Lemon Harvest, the scribbling of a quill, the push of a mop, some rather delightful curse words, and so much more. Yet, none of this was truly comprehensible as it stood, as such I began to lower my range and tune them out one by one. I would only focus on the pair that interested me…

“... tell me what's wrong Carrot, beating around the bush won’t help,” stated Lemon Harvest in a cordial tone.

“I know that!” Carrot said in frustration. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to...” she stated with a growing depression.

“It's fine, take your time, and just tell me what you can, I promise I won't interrupt.” Lemon said. Ugh... this might take some time…

About six minutes later I found that I was growing somewhat bored. Listening to a general summary of what happened today alongside a short revisit of my adventures were hardly as fun as experiencing them. Though, Carrot did at least recall the breadcrumbs I had left for her. She seemed to be rather concerned by my rapidly changing moods, my nationality, my antics, how mature yet childish I was, and my shame towards my thin sides. Yet, were they really that bad? I figured if anything I’d qualify for an early or middle stage of malnutrition going towards starvation at best.

Throughout the lecture both of their moods had fluctuated, sometimes it would plummet, and occasionally their moods would uplift at the mention of a few of my antics though some left them worse than before, particularly Lemon Harvest. Carrot had held up better than I had expected, she was certainly made of sterner stuff.

Few were the times she needed comfort from Lemon. Yet, the same could be said of the social worker, albeit I would expect that in her line of work so I wasn’t as impressed with her.

Now… “Just how long will it take for Lils to show up with food!?” I muttered, in anger as my stomach growled on its own - yet again. These insufferable urges once forgotten were beginning to wear on my patience. Only a small number of my earlier rumblings had been from me throwing and altering my voice...

“Please Lemon, lets just focus on helping him and leave most of the questioning for another day. I really think a day without all this drama would do him some good.”

“Don’t worry Carrot, I value his mental health as well. I’ll limit the scope of my investigation to the few questions I can’t avoid.” Lemon Harvest said with what sounded like resolve.

“What exactly do you mean by that?” Carrot asked nervously.

“I just need his full name, a few general health questions, and I'll also need to take a picture of him for record purposes.” Lemon Harvest said calmly. That shouldn’t be so bad, the only one that would probably perturb Carrot was ‘my’ last name due to my fun reaction to the mention of ‘parents’ and maybe the picture.

“I don’t think Sunny will mind about any of those, aside from…” Carrot began to speak out with concern before she was interrupted.

“His full name, I know Carrot, I’m very concerned about his reactions to the mention of his parents as well,” Lemon Harvest said calmly, “but we need his full name to search through records.”

“We can’t hold off on only that one?”

“I’m sorry but no.”

“Then can I at least be the one to ask it?” she inquired while glancing nervously in my direction, only to notice my own troubled gaze.

“Oh, why is that?”

“I just don’t want to let him fall into a funk again.” she declared as she tore her gaze from me, her face contorted in determination.

“Then please let me do my job, Carrot, I’ll try to be as gentle as possible,” Lemon Harvest declared in a comforting tone.

“But…”

“You yourself said you made some mistakes in asking him questions neither of you were ready for.”

“Yeah...” Carrot agreed softly.

“So will you rely on me to do my job that I’ve been trained for?”

“Yes...” Carrot said rather pitifully only to hug the mare in turn, “I know I’m probably coming off as rude but I just want him to be happy.” Huh, kinda surprised, I figured I was growing on her, but...

Lemon sighed happily while patting Carrot’s back, “It didn’t come across as rude in the slightest to me, my dear.”

“Really?” Carrot sniffled in confusion as she glanced back at the mare.

“The fact that you show so much care for a foal that you’ve only known for a few hours is truly inspiring, now let's get you two cleaned up.” she said proudly, “You ready?”

“Yeah, just gimme a sec.” Carrot said while she took a few deep breaths. Lemon Harvest just waited patiently for Carrot until she was ready and the pair began to trot back towards me. It seemed I would no longer need my ‘enhanced’ hearing, as such I returned my ears to normal.

“You alright Carrot?” I asked in a concerned tone when they finally came to a halt in front of me.

“Heh, yeah just got some dirt in my eyes.” she replied almost instantly, wiping at her eyes with a hoof.

“So you must be Sunny,” Lemon said, interrupting my train of thought.

I snorted in bemusement, “And you must be Lemon Harvest,” I teased back. I imagined she just wanted to change the subject that Carrot and I had delved down…

“I suppose that was a silly question to ask but are you ready to get cleaned up?” she questioned.

“YES!” I loudly squeaked, “You have no idea how bucking long I’ve waited to hear that!” I enthusiastically declared with a chuckle while I hopped up from the now filthy bench. Yet, my antics were only rewarded with an eye twitch from Lemon Harvest, and some snickering from Carrot who was obviously holding back, now in a better mood, hopefully.

“Umm… right this way then please,” she replied in a reprimanding tone that held some leniency. Heh, and so my shield continued to protect me from boredom with the added bonus of purpose.

A short trot later with me staying close to Carrot led us through some more twisting hallways and down the stairs when at last we entered a rather spacious room guided by our escort.

“Huh, not bad” I said honestly. The colors were rather bland, just some white walls with some brown trim around the edge where it met the white ceiling and marble floor. There was a table with floor cushions that could seat at least twelve or more ponies, two comfy-looking green sofas, four matching end tables, a few bookshelves stocked with… foal books, a fridge, some boring board games, and two doors on opposite sides that led to what I imagined were a bathroom and bedroom...

“So where's the bath at?” Carrot asked eagerly.

Lemon Harvest quietly shut the door we entered through, “Ah, just over here,” she calmly stated while she trotted over to the door on the left side of the room. Once there, she opened it and neither of us needed much of a prompt to rush inside. Carrot was first, I was second, and Lemon brought up the rear. Ha, Carrot was already at the sink gargling and spitting out water. Well, I could hardly blame her, thankfully there was more than enough room for me as well.

Grabbing a nearby glass, I quickly filled it with water, and began the oh so magical process of swishing it around and spitting out the refuse until that foul taste had finally disappeared.

Carrot sighed in contentment, “Oh Celestia, that is so much better.”

Hmm, now that I no longer had to contend with that foul taste in my mouth, I could tell that this room was certainly nice. It was still the same drab colors as before but the tub was large enough for a group with a large shower head system, and the toilet seemed to have its own separate room further back. Rather luxurious by pony standards, though not obscenely so. Still, I’d love to hear the ‘reasoning’ behind how the crown agreed to fund such a project…

“Umm, if you’ll just wait over there for a moment I’ll get everything set up,” Lemon Harvest said with some mirth before she she shut the door and turned on the shower with a flick of her magic. Her attention was now stolen by a selection of shampoo bottles.

“Hey, Carrot?” I chuckled, halting my ever eager companion before she could climb inside the tub.

“Yeah, Sunny?” She said while somewhat bemused as neither of us wanted to wait any longer to get this filth off, waiting be damned.

“Think fast!” I squeaked while tossing my towel over her, “Last one in’s a rotten egg!” I giggled while easily pulling myself over and into the tub while carrot gagged on my foul towel causing her to retreat a few steps. Some things were just as fun the second time around it seemed... I could hear some muffled snickering coming from Lemon Harvest, seemed I wasn’t the only one that was amused.

Damn… this warm shower felt great after today's collective bullshit.

“Sunny…” Carrot chuckled while still under the towel, “You do realize this means war, right?” she said in bemusement when she yanked it off and hopped in the tub. Now that both of us were in the tub, we began to slowly circle one another waiting to pounce…

Now I have always been a firm believer in the best defence is a good offense, as such I quickly used my magic to angle one of the shower heads to spray directly towards my rivals face. Now with her vision removed...

“Ahem...” Lemon Harvest coughed. The pair of us stopped our circling and looked over in a mixture of embarrassment and reluctance at the one who sought to end our activities.

“Aww c’mon Lemon we were just horsing around,” I said with a chuckle.

“Sorry?” Carrot stated awkwardly with a blush…

“Oh I’m not against rough housing so long as you two keep it safe and civil. However,” she lectured with a pause, “Let’s save that for after you two are clean and won't coat the room in… all of that,” she said with a slightly disgusted yet amused tone while gesturing to our coats.

Heh, we must have made quite a picture with the rivers of filth that were cascading off the both of us, before it became trapped in the drain’s filter. Truly, being a fur covered race could have its downsides, I am sure many plumbers would attest to that.

“Fine…” we said in unison, accepting our defeat.

Choosing to focus on my face and mane first, “Hey, Carrot,” I called out, while I ran my magic through my mane.

“Yeah?” Carrot replied while she struggled with the task of getting her mane untangled.

“Can you toss me that bucket next to you?” I asked.

“Yeah, one sec,” Carrot declared with a grumble as her face contorted in disgust at the moldy olive she just pulled out of her mane. Lemon Harvest just looked at the scene with a smirk while biting her lip, before she floated a shampoo bottle into the bucket and then hovered both over to me with her magic.

“Thanks, Lemon!” I said happily as my magic casually fought for control over the object, yet she didn’t release her grip immediately, rather that came a few seconds later.

Hmm, I wondered, was she testing my strength, or rather seeing how my magic has held up after the trials my disguise had faced. Using what ability I still had, I imagine she was content with her findings.

Heh, she wasn’t so bad, kind of a subtle touch, I wonder if I could expect this kind of treatment to continue? Directly indirect? Either way, I could just be overthinking this. It was only now that I had noticed that Lemon had hopped into the tub with another bottle of shampoo floating beside her during my thoughts.

“Here, let me help you with that,” the supposedly eldest of our trio calmy added as she sat next to Carrot and helped untangle the ends of her mane with magic.

“Ugh… Thanks, Lemon, though you didn’t have to hop in here and get messy.” Carrot said thoughtfully, yet with slight guilt.

Heh, I wonder if Carrot will ever realize just how entertaining her pouting really is? Still, this mane wasn’t going to clean itself. As such, I applied a very generous amount of shampoo to my coat, mane, and tail.

“It isn’t really a bother, plus I always find showers refreshing. Paperwork can get rather boring at times…”

“Ugh, I hear that,” Carrot grumbled in agreement.

“Yeah, paperwork is truly the greatest evil...” I said with honest disgust while tipping a half full bucket of water over myself.

Carrot snorted, “What would you know about paperwork?” she questioned with a chuckle while our social worker looked on with interest.

“What is homework if not but a precursor for a greater evil?” I teased back.

Lemon just hummed in contemplation...

“When did you get so wise?” my vegetable-themed protector teased with a smirk and a chuckle while glancing my way.

“Actually it was thanks to you!” I happily chirped. Carrot bit her lip nervously probably seeing where this was going.

“Oh, and how did she do that?” Lemon asked in honest curiosity.

“When I came across her working on her books earlier, it looked as if her very soul had moved onto another plane of existence!” I teased.

“Don’t tell other ponies that!” squeaked Carrot who was once again burning red in embarrassment.

“That doesn't sound that bad” the social worker said, looking and sounding somewhat perplexed.

“That’s because you didn’t see her drool trailing inches above her paperwork” I chuckled.

“Stalker!” Carrot teased back.

“Zompony” I squeaked back.

“Dweeb!” She teased back, seeming amused.

“Brute!” I said while blowing a raspberry at the end.

“I’m dealing with two foals, aren’t I?” Lemon declared with loud laugh and shake of her head as she continued to clean and shampoo Carrot who had went stock still at that jab.

“Buuuutt Lemon surely I’m more mature than Carrot! She went to name calling first!” I whined playfully.

“Wait! No he was the one that started..!”

“Huh, I think you might be right, Sunny, now Carrot what do you have to say for yourself?” Lemon Harvest calmly said.

“But… I.. hrmphf” Carrot sputtered while she was probably debating how to turn this situation around. Now that wouldn’t do.

“Aww, it’s ok Carrot, I’ll go first, I’m sorry calling you names…” I apologized, looking to her for reciprocation while biting my lip.

Carrot squeaked in despair, “Lemon, you don’t really mean I have to?” Carrot sputtered eloquently as she looked to the other pony for help.

Lemon Harvest kept a straight face, “Now, now, Carrot, He apologized and so should you.” she replied, but I could sense her mirth.

“Fine…” Carrot pouted and turned towards me, “I’m sorry for calling you a dweeb,” she said half-heartedly.

“Lemon, it sounded like she didn’t really mean that!” I taddled.

“True, but your apology was anything but sincere,” Lemon Harvest stated while my role just looked on bemused. Now onto other matters...

I snorted in mock offense before glancing towards my escort, “Yo, Carrot.”

“Hmm,” she hummed in curiosity while glancing at me.

“When do you think Lils will catch up with us?” I asked in the hopes my hunger would soon be sated...

“Huh, it has been awhile, hasn’t it? I think it's been over an hour now.”

“Eh, that sounds about right,” I replied. I imagine Lils spent some time cleaning up, but had to have ordered the food by now, so...

“Still, I don’t think she’ll be gone for much longer,” Carrot declared. While that's probably true, I could ask about the fridge. No... I could wait, I wouldn’t let this urge rule me.

“Heh, glad to hear that, haven’t had a strawberry milkshake in ages.” I replied, licking my lips. “Thanks again Carrot,” I declared while I glomped her now clean form.

Carrot just snorted while rubbing my mane and returning the hug.

“In that case, let's all finish cleaning up, and get out of here,” Lemon Harvest declared, “Got a few smalls things to do before we sit back and relax.” she said while quickly shampooing her mane.

“Oh, what's that?” I asked curiously, rinsing the last of the shampoo off my coat and tail.

“Got some paperwork to fill out myself and a short form for you.” she replied, this statement seemed to make Carrot nervous.

“Oh joyous rapture…” I mumbled with obviously false enthusiasm…

“C’mon, Sunny, it won't be that bad, and being the ever generous mare that I am, I will even help you with it!” Carrot said proudly. Now, this simply wasn’t acceptable, I couldn’t let her comment pass without some retaliation....

“Lemon Harvest, she's going to make me fail,” I playfully whined, while relaxing under the warm shower, now completely clean - in body at least. Got a few pitying looks from the pair throughout the shower but they never lasted that long. Guess they didn’t want to bring it up, for now anyways.

“Hey, I’m not that bad!” Carrot declared with a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

Lemon snorted, “You’re both lucky I don't use a grading scale,” she added, before she turned off the shower, “Here, let's get dried off and get the boring stuff out of the way.” she levitated some towels to us from a nearby rack.

“You don’t believe in the almighty powers of procrastination?” I questioned in an awestruck manner while drying off.

Lemon Harvest just shook her head in dismay and looked to Carrot for support who was drying off as well.

“Hey, I’m with Sunny on this one, why do today what you can put off again another day!” Carrot chuckled.

“Ugh…” Lemon face hoofed while wrapping her mane with a towel, “Just join me in the other room when you two goofs are ready,” she stated, before exiting the room. A minute later found us just about finished….

Carrot snorted, “Sunny… your mane…” she snickered while trying to hold her laughter back but failed.

“Whats wrong with my mane?” I asked while glancing towards a mirror and realized that I may have been too liberal in my drying technique… My blonde, medium length, and scraggly mane was clearing losing a battle against static electricity as it followed the towel until I moved it out of range, yet it still wouldn’t fall…

“I always figured you were a bit of an airhead,” she teased.

“Takes one to know one,” I chuckled, while quickly wrapping her mane with the towel and rubbing it vigorously. “Turnabout's fair play!” I squeaked before I made my escape and vanished into the next room.

“Get back here, imp!” She squealed in frustration, probably from trying to unwrap my towel. I decided to take refuge on a couch near Lemon Harvest who was looking up at me from her paperwork with a raised eyebrow while I smiled innocently at her.

Hmm, I really didn’t look all that bad now, my once matted coat was far more fluffy than before. Though, it didn't hide what few ribs were showing anywhere near as well as the mud did. My tail was a medium length and equally messy as my mane. A few months without a trim and bathing properly would do that to a pony…

“Sunny,” Carrot declared with strangely calm voice, this drew me out of my thoughts to find her standing….

“Pfft…” I snorted, “Nice look you got there, Medusa,” I teased while glancing at her once noble mane now standing on ends at points. It looked as if it were poised to attack… something that its owner was beginning to reflect as well.

I gulped, “Lemon she's going to pick on me!” I squeaked adorably as possible.

“You have my seal of approval, Carrot,” Lemon Harvest smiled, glancing at the pair of us, only to return to her paperwork.”

“Why!” I squeaked when I was lightly tackled and given the noogie of a lifetime on the couch… Heh, worth it…

“There are just some things you should never do to a mare,” Lemon declared.

“Yup!” Carrot agreed sagely while continuing her onslaught.

“But there are some things you shouldn’t do to a stallion either!” I squeaked knowing she would take the bait.

“It's a good thing you’re a colt then!” Carrot said with a laugh while tickling my sides.

“Stop... stop... I yield!” I squealed. Try as I might I couldn’t withhold the laughter as tears begin to form in my eyes.

“What do you think, Lemon,” asked Carrot who was loving every moment of this.

The bureaucrat just remained focused on her paperwork while I squealed, yet a moment later she slowly held out a ruler but eventually turned it up, giving a nod which made Carrot stop…

“Fear not young imp for I have redeemed you,” Carrot declared cheesily when she released her hold on me.

Panting, “You know... I’ll get you... for this later,”

“Huh, didn’t think you’d be ready for round two so fast,” my oppressor smirked, now glancing down at my nervous yet giggling prone form.

Lemon Harvest chuckled, “I suppose I’ll let you decide, Sunny, paperwork or face justice?” she teased while floating a form in the air alongside a quill and some ink.

“Paperwork!” I swiftly squeaked before the invasive hooves could reach me. Fun as that may have been for my role and me, it had simply been enough for today.

“Aww…” Carrot pouted in a rather adorable manner.

I just stuck my tongue out at her, taking the form, inkwell, and quill with my magic. Now lets see what she had planned… Oho... so that's how she planned to get my full name. The subconscious is truly a wonderful thing at times, horrible at others. Though it appears she just made this form from scratch, still this won’t take long to fill out.

“Let me fill this out first and then you can have a peak, Carrot,” I chirped while separating myself from my companion.

Carrot snorted, “Alright, then.” she said with a mixture of amusement and concern while giving me some room. What? She thinks I would do something wrong? Well who am I to deny her expectations then? Now how to stay in line with both that and what I want to represent….

Name: Sunny Delight

Race: Unicorn

Sex: Male

Age: 12

Weight: 50 lbs

Height: 2’ 4”

Please list any immunizations if known:
Booster Shots

Please list any allergies if known:
N/A

Please list any health problems if known:
N/A

Please list any magic if known:
Levitation, lightning, and shielding spells.

Please list what, how much, and how often you’ve been eating/drinking:
Just some grass each day, water when available, and some jerky I had saved. On rare occasions, I’d get some fruits. Not really sure how much any of it was, as grass was the only constant food source I could find. Water I generally could get each day except when I was on the boat.

Please list any hobbies you have:
Reading - Fiction preferably
Cooking
Hunting
Fishing
Swimming
Pearl Diving

Please list your favorite foods:
Cheese - Any but headcheese
Chef Salad
Pasta
Herring - Pickled or Creamed
Fish - Any so long as Battered
Fruit - Pears, Mangos, Cucumber
Watermelon
Vegetables - Carrots, Potatoes
Pudding - Any but Banana
Cake/Pie - Carrot / Pecan
Ice Cream - Vanilla
Bacon - Crispy but not burnt
Nuts - Cashews, Pistachios
Oysters - Fresh

Please list anything you think would help us assist you:
Honestly, I’d just like to get to know Carrot and Lils better. Both seem to genuinely care about me. Not really sure how this system works but I’d like to st either way I feel safe around them. My only other request is please keep what I say and did private, or as private as you can. I’m not really proud of the situation I’m in, nor do I really want to go over much else today. Just looking forward to some food, company, and rest. Thanks.

I certify that the information above is correct and accurate to the best of my knowledge.

Please sign here: Sunny Delight

Left a few subtle things for Carrot, now to see what she would think, “Umm..” I mumbled nervously as I levitated the form near Carrot.

“Ah, you’re ready for my help now?” Carrot chuckled before gently taking my form with her hoof.

“Hmm,” Carrot hummed as she casually read it, but pulled me into a hug as she drew closer to the middle. Heh, guess she wasn’t sure how to react to the food, still it seemed a positive one.

Once finished she had a perplexed but content look on her face, “Kinda surprised, figured you’d have a prank hidden in there somewhere.” she chuckled while still holding me close.

“Eh, you’d probably have made me redo that form if I had,” I pouted. Huh, guess she missed a few of my more risque mentions. Still it looked like my last answer uplifted her spirits.

“True!” she chirped happily, “Though I’m rather impressed, your spelling is rather good, your hoofwork on the other hoof…. Well, it was kinda messy,” she said while ruffling my mane.

I snorted, “Everyone's a critic, here you go, Lemon,” I said while floating it away from me and towards our social worker who was still trapped within her paperwork.

“Thanks, you two,” she declared taking the form with little flourish and placing it beside her. “Now, let’s see what you’ve filled out,” she said, turning her gaze to my paper.

“Hey Sunny,” Carrot called out.

“Hmm?” I replied.

“So what do you think of Ponyville so far?” she inquired.

“It's not half bad, kinda calm and peaceful really,” I said with mock honesty, causing the Carrot to snort. Lemon Harvest on the other hand, was preoccupied at the time, so with some delay, she bit her lips as she tried to fight the smirk forming once she fully absorbed what I had said.

“Though that gingerbread house is bucking creepy,” I said with a shiver.

Lemon Harvest raised an eyebrow, but otherwise remained silent and kept reading.

“Huh, that's odd, most foals love the Cakes, plenty of sugary treats there,” Carrot said obviously confused.

“Eh, probably doesn’t help that there was an old tale my father told me about. It was centered around an old and kind
Gryphoness who lived in such a house. She’d lure hatchlings inside with the offer of dinner only to bake them into treats to eat.” I said with a bittersweet tone.

“What!?” Carrot and Lemon Harvest questioned in unison, both were rather appalled and shocked.

“What!?” I asked in mock confusion.

“That’s horrible! Why would he tell you that?” Carrot asked in shock while Harvest remained on edge as she watched the events unfold, probably waiting for a chance to head this off. Heh, which was far too late now...

“The moral of the story as he put it was, that looks can be deceiving, especially in something that looks too good to be true. Afterall, why fear the wolf when its intentions are obvious and direct. No, what you should fear are those that are above reproach, or rather the monsters that have been hiding beside you all along. Or something like that, I really miss those stories…” I sighed in sadness, my face reflecting a mixture of melancholy and longing. Heh, a rather fitting tale for my situation I think.

“Umm, maybe we…” Lemon Harvest started to say.

“You’re not scared of us, are you Sunny,” Carrot asked with what looked like despair. Ugh, that wasn’t my intention there but I can see how she came to that conclusion…

I snorted in bemusement, “Carrot you openly bear your soul, you’re honest, flawed, and refreshingly blunt. That's why I like and trust you,” I declared happily while I hugged her yet it appeared my damnable stomach saw fit to gurgle its own message as well…

Carrot smiled, “Guess that was kinda silly of me,” she said while sighing in contentment as we relaxed against one another.

“Hmm,” Lemon Harvest said as she glanced from her sheet, “Since Lily is taking longer than expected, want an apple, Sunny?” she said as she got up from the table and walked towards the fridge, “I got some grape juice as well,” she added.

“Sounds great, I’d love both,” I chirped in excitement. I believe that I had been patient enough. Plus, I imagine that she knew fast food probably wasn't the best thing to start eating after ‘fasting’ like my disguise appeared it had.

“Alright,” she declared while she opened the fridge… and my stomach saw fit to make itself known once again. Hmm, fairly well stocked. Did this double as a break room? It certainly looked well-kept, no dust… Heh, once again we returned to the heart of the funding issue, I swear these little commies would make the Soviet Union proud.

“You hungry at all, Carrot?” I asked in concern as I looked up at my fluffy yellow and orange protector.

“Umm, I wouldn’t mind some grape juice if that's okay, Lemon?”

Lemon Harvest smiled, “That won’t be a problem at all.” she said while she poured two glasses, levitated them over along with a few apples onto the nearby end tables.

“What, you worried about your figure, Carrot?” I teased while I levitated over an apple. Oh, I was going to treasure this...

“No!” She yelped far too nervously....

I took a bite of my apple, “Mmmm,” I moaned, “Whatever, your loss, Carrot!” I playfully mocked while sloppily gorging myself upon the apple. This was almost orgasmic, truly hunger is the best spice.

“Hey, I have no reason to be concerned about my figure!” she said while turning a lovely shade of red.

Biting into the apple again, “Well, yeah, I wasn’t really serious about that,” I said while finishing off the apple with only a few more bites, “Though now I’m not too sure,” I smirked.

“Umm…”

I snorted, “It’s alright, Carrot, we all have our vices!” I declared happily, while levitating over another apple towards myself. Now to sample some of that grape juice...

The other mare looked rather perplexed, “I’m confused, how exactly is dieting a bad habit?”

“Eh, too many obsess over it really. Dieting while important in some ways can actually do more harm than good,” I declared before taking a swig of the juice. Ah, that's better, guess I’ll have to worry about hydration again...

“How’s that?” Carrot asked in confusion.

“It can slow down your metabolism, deprive your body of important nutrients, and cause you to ignore other symptoms behind your current situation.” I quickly replied.

“Where did you get those ideas from?” Lemon Harvest questioned.

“My father,” I softly said, “Anyways moderation and physical activity are also required to really do anything substantial with it, oh and hydration too,” I finished with little flourish.

“Hmm, while that’s true, not everypony will be able to work exercise into their busy schedules.” Lemon added.

“Heh, and just how many can actually stick to the ever evolving diet plans?” I rebuttled.

Lemon Harvest smirked, “Those with persistence, so it really comes down to what each pony can handle. What works for one doesn't always work for the other.”

“Well yeah, but that's a boring way to put it…” I whined.

“And the topic wasn’t?” Carrot chuckled.

“I think that's open to debate but…” the social worker hummed before setting down the papers she was reading.

“Before I forget, I need to make a quick stop at the Mayor's office, so I’ll be back shortly.” she said when she got up from the table and approached the door. “You two all set for now?” she inquired while glancing our way before the now open door.

“Yup!” I declared happily while devouring another apple, further cementing my ‘excellent’ manners.

Carrot snorted, “We’re good, thanks Lemon Harvest,” she replied while ruffling my mane. “Though, I’m not sure the same can be said about your table manners,”

“But irsa comphlimehnt!” I proudly belched just when Lemon Harvest had closed the door. Heh, I swear her face twitched for a second upon hearing my response.

“Ughh, I think you got some on me that time,” Carrot complained while brushing off a small chunk of apple from her foreleg.

“Swor… erhm, sorry about that” I said with mock shame, my ears slightly wilting.

“Eh, it's no biggie,” Carrot said before pouring herself another glass of grape juice.

“Ok, but you sure you don’t want one?” I asked, now wondering if she was holding back so I would have more to eat, “Feels like I’m porking out on them.”

Carrot snorted, “Sure, I’ll take one, kinda had a light breakfast anyways.” she said with little flourish yet she had a slight blush? Heh, suppose I don’t need to jab at all of them...

I just smiled in response and floated one over to her. The next few minutes were rather peaceful. Only the now somewhat more refined sounds of eating were left to greet us, my role now concerned about such things. Oddly enough, her face always seemed to be in a battle, at times she’d appear to be enjoying the apple, yet at others she almost seemed annoyed by it.

Carrot polished off the last of her juice, “Say, Sunny,”

“Hmm?” I questioned, with a slight yawn.

“Whats… herring taste like?” Carrot questioned nervously, yet there was definitely an underlying current of curiosity there.

“Kinda tangy, like pickles in a way, both types are rather addictive though. It’s not too firm, somewhat chewy, and the onions that are in the sauce with it are awesome!” I stated with pride and adoration lining my role’s obsession with pickled herring. A staple food of a certain neighboring country here. Well, I may be somewhat fond of it as well...

“Huh, that actually doesn't sound half bad,” Carrot said with mild surprise.

“We’ll have to get some for you to try later, but what about you, what sorts of foods do you like?” I asked in honest curiosity while trying to sink deeper into the comfy sofa.

“Well besides carrots, I’m rather fond of kiwi, rice, pasta, cashews, and salads,” Carrot replied.

“Whats a kiwi?” I asked in mock ignorance.

“What? You’ve never had one?” Carrot asked in mock offense.

I just raised an eyebrow at her, awaiting my expected answer.

“Heh, it's a fun little fruit about the size of an egg, it has a crisp yet chewy skin. The inside is rather sweet and tangy with some crunch. It’s imported though, so kinda pricey, it's more of a treat,” She said, ending her own beloved food rant.

“Sounds awesome... Wait, where is it imported from?” I questioned.

“Oh, it's from Haywaii,” Carrot responded casually. Ugh, why had my younger self ever found such drivel hilarious… I could only be thankful that my species would never catch wind of my… choices.

I yawned, “Huh, I think I’ve heard of that place, it's somewhere to the southwest past the Great Ocean, right?” I said while stretching out my forelegs.

“Yup, you bored Sunny?” Carrot questioned.

“Nah,” I replied contently, popping my back legs.

Carrot lightly snorted, a smirk gracing her face, “I see, want me to find us a book to read?”

I just nodded in response without thinking, somewhat annoyed with myself as my fluffy pillow had gotten up in search of ‘literature’.

A minute or two had passed as Carrot browsed the shelves, whereas I just looked fondly upon the last apple. I wasn’t really all that hungry anymore, yet I was tempted to eat it, or would be if I could find the willpower to get up. Meh...

Yet, my musings were interrupted when I heard someone bump the door with a grumbly squeak. A moment later my familiar pink and blonde-maned acquaintance slowly pushed open the door with my once delectable treats, now sated by hunger....

“Hey Lils,” my greeting, a soft response and wave complemented by a yawn. It seemed as if all my activities took more out of me than I had imagined, fatigue surely was creeping up on me....

“Lils!” Carrot exclaimed in surprise, now turned away from a book just removed from the shelf.

“Hri Spuhnny,” Lils response was rather unintelligible, courtesy of the bag of greasy treats in her mouth. Heh, always found that unhygienic myself, but when in Rome...

With a slight snort of bemusement, “Let me take that for you,” I declared, before I floated the food over to my nearby end table, never once removing myself from my cozy throne.

“Thanks for the food,” I declared.

“Yeah, thanks Lils,” Carrot added.

“It wasn’t any problem,“ Lily humbly replied, “Though, you certainly clean up well, Sunny,” Lily praised, “You have such a lovely blonde mane.”

“Yup, just need a slight trim and you’ll be looking great,” Carrot agreed happily, now headed towards us, a book in tow.

I blushed, diverting my eyes, “Still, I kinda feel guilty for having you get all that food, while I pigged out on juice and apples.” I said, as if to change the topic for Sunny, my ears slightly downturned, appearing mildly guilty.

Carrot snorted, “Just means we can split some of it, right Lils?” Carrot said, taking her seat next to me back.

“Sure,” Lily smiled, now relaxed on the other end of the couch,

“Now lets see what goodies we got here,” Carrot said, before diving snout first into the bag.

“So, did anything interesting happen while I was gone?” Lils questioned curiously. I’d let Carrot answer that one. For now I would just rest my eyes.

“Just some…” Carrot paused, popping her head out of the bag with some hay fries in tow, “rough housing,” she snorked down a few, “Right, Sunny?” She finished, truly being the epitome of grace...

“If you say so, Medusa,” I subconsciously mumbled in response.

...

“Yo, Equestria to Sunny,”

…

“Huh.. what?” I questioned, “What were we talking about again?”

“Lils wanted to know anything fun we’ve been up to, besides rough housing,” Carrot teased. Even with my eyes still closed I could almost feel her smirk from here. I opened them slightly, but that accursed light...

“Oh... yeah, that was fun,” I nodded weakly in response. I was kind of cold, yet my mock pillowed had returned, thankfully.

“Comfy?” Carrot questioned, still sounding smug.

I merely grumbled in response, nestling further into the warmth.

“Oh! Is that Daring Doo and Pandora’s Box?” Lils exclaimed, sounding rather fond of them.

“Yup, Sunny wanted to hear one.”

“Oh! Would you like me to read Daring’s adventure to you, Sunny?” Lils requested.

“Sure…” I agreed, hoping the noise would go away.

“Alright, can you pass that here, Carrot?” Lily asked,

Yet I heard no response, only some rustling around for a moment. Quiet at last…

…

“... and so it was that Daring entered the temple…”

“And she…”

...

“Daring managed to escape the….”

…

...

“Hey Lils, look at this…”

Celestia was resting on a plain white sunchair in the royal gardens. A clearing surrounded by high hedges, which shielded her from the curious eyes of the numerous gardeners and servants roaming the castle grounds.

Next to the resting princess was a short table with a plate, which contained an assortment of pastries, cinnamon rolls, cannoli, cupcakes, and an even greater number of crumbs.

Lazily, the princess had her limbs hanging from the chair, her belly noticeably distended from all the the sweets she’d ingested. A tired but content smile adorned her slightly pudgy face as she allowed her now corpulent mass to bask in the sun’s rays, her eyes struggling at half mast.

It was a beautiful day outside, far away from the busy streets of Canterlot, and the even more stressful world of her court. The clearing was lined with blooming flowers in all colours of the rainbow, a couple of birds were singing slow melodic tunes, and a gentle breeze blew through branches, the grass and the leaves, a cacophony of whispering wind.

Nature had always calmed the princess’ nerves - and whether she liked it or not, she felt deeply grateful for this creation. Nature didn’t demand. In nature she just was, like a bird in the air, a fish in the water, she felt whole with her surroundings. She didn’t need to be someone else, put up a strong front. That she did appreciate.

And at times nature did a great deal to alleviate her mood, like now...

Splat!

And another bird had defecated on the statue in the middle of the garden. It was already littered by the remains of countless birds, who had used the offered opportunity to get nourishment from a nearby bird feeder. One might have wondered who was responsible for such an “inconvenient” placement?

Oh, right, she was. Had it been any other statue being in such a poor state, in her own garden no less, the Princess of the Sun would have been appalled, but considering it was her mortal enemy... nah. She didn’t feel any symp....

Wow, my little sis has a pretty mean streak going on here doesn’t she? I mean, I am family, for Dad’s sake. For anyone who is too slow to catch up, Dissy here, resident lawn ornament of chaos and entropy....

Hmm, yes that’s it big D, now you got their attention! I gotta admit it's a pleasant surprise to run into another human, one who hopefully isn’t as boring as my favorite old fart of a father. Speaking of dad, I wonder if he’s enjoying his time out? Kind of a sour apple that one…

Why am I staying here and accepting good ol’ Celly’s gentle ministrations you wonder? Well, previously I did try the flower approach and offering to be the mentor she always deserved but honestly, some people’s kids….

Eh, I suppose I could ignore it but really, it's not everyday that your sister proceeds to molest her food while porking out on it. Kosher of a sorts, but I’ll treasure it all the same. Not to mention, she actually spent the time to train birds to defecate all over her older bro.

Truly that kind of kinky dedication is something special…. Damn, I think she’s given me a bit of a feeding fetish at this point, I mean.. What kind of good brother wouldn’t want to keep a collection of pictures showing how much his sister’s flanks have grown throughout the years!? I can only hope she appreciates my card come their ghetto Christmas. I know Luna, Cadence, Twilight, and that conspiracy nut will.

But back to the matter at hand, I’ve only heard from you through my Daddy’s stories, but really, I am awed... I wonder how I can talk to one of you… Didn’t your species kick the proverbial bucket? Eh, why am I of all beings trying to make sense of this situation? Moving on…

Your kind was so wonderfully chaotic, in a sort of beautiful yet tragic way. Where once you establish order your methods and rulers would only prepare a cancerous system where it becomes so bloated that the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing…

Wow… thats really hot actually, I mean that's not even like you’ll know you have to send your hand a valentine card in reciprocation. You don’t even have to sit on it… Suddenly my stay here got so much… Erhm..

Moving on again, we can get into more of my kinks later. It just seemed that wherever you established your so called order you only prepared the way for greater chaos to follow, or rather your fellow man did. Yet, that was not the end of it, no the best part was to come, through these challenges you would grow and advance, it was your species drive, to never accept things as they were, rather what they could become.

You all with your differing opinions and views and abilities... The status quo never went unchallenged. In that way you are really different from these tree hugging hippies that get high off their own shit. Well, sure you guys had some of them, but I swear… Eons could come and go and only the faces would change.... Though on a plus side, these ponies would still sound like they have stripper names at least.

As such, how could I not be a fan of humans? Truly my father made a mistake by not rebirthing your great race here. Huh, maybe….

Still, I figured it was time to finally introduce myself, the valiant hero of this story!

...

What!? You think I’m the villain? I swear… Some people's kids… *bemused mumbling*

What? You’re still here!? Shoo you dirty ingrate!

“Empress, is the great blue evil gone now?” came a faint yet terrified whisper from under her bed.

Subtly glancing at the window in question, it appeared the coast was clear, “Well, yeah, but c’mon lil' B, Dashie is a good pony!” Pinkie replied, happy that her friend was finally peaking out from his hiding place.

Now fully out from under the bed, the absolutely miniscule, yet winged pony, Deli Belly, the head priest shook his head, “But oh gloriously pink one, she has interrupted our most holy of rites yet once again!”

“Aww, you know she didn't mean to!”

“And that makes it better?”

“Well, yeah! Plus she didn't even crash through the window, door, or wall this time!”

“I notice you placed particular importance on ‘this’ time,”

“What other time would I be referring to?”

“.....” The headpriest merely gave her a very flat yet harsh stare, which hardly gave its intended effect. Huh, his beard was particularly fluffy today! Still, this got Pinkie thinking. What truly truly amazing things could she do if she had her own pair of mutton chops, not sure if she could handle the responsibility of a beard.

And thus began an epic stalemate, with both her minions and herself trapped in a game of giving the other a look more condescending than the last… She was winning, though it was kinda hard not to, as cute as her competition was. Still, she made sure to thoroughly enjoy this battle of the brows, but figured it was finally time to move on.

“But nothing got spilled this time so we can still enjoy the spread!” she declared happily.

Though upon closer inspection, the headpriest had some frothy looking cream on his beard. Heh, seemed he snuck a snack under there… But they weren’t supposed to eat until he called the start of the feast.

Eh, hardly an offense in her opinion, hopefully he would pick up on her hints to hide his so called misdeeds. Porking out before a meal, how anypony could find that wrong, she would never know, still back to the argument at hoof...

Snorting, “Okay, she can be just aaaalitttle reckless at times but if you’d just let me tell her about you guys, I’m sure you’d all become good friends!” she pouted, while winking at the priest, and pointing to his face, and rubbing her chin. Huh, guess she missed a little too, eh doesn't seem like he noticed...

Looking at her with confusion, followed by embarrassment, the head priest quickly but subtly removed the offending substance from his beard. “I will take that into consideration, Empress Pinkie.” he said, with a slight bow.

Good, but honestly what was their obsession around rules and eating? What fun was that? This was like the third new high priest they’ve had this month alone due to snackrilege.

“Pinkie…” came her sister's voice,

“What's up, Maud?”

“I want a crumpet, but Gummy doesn’t see fit to share” She declared while shaking her hoof nonchalantly, trying but failing to free herself from Gummy’s gentle strong gumming.

“Gummy! Why are you doing that to Maudie Waudie?” She questioned, looking rather bemused by his shenanigans.

Spitting out her sister’s hoof and dropping back onto the table, “Oh heavens no, my dearest Lady Pinkamena, I was merely preventing her from committing the most heinous of social blunders.” Gummy added in his rather posh accent, before returning his trusty ol’ pipe to his mouth. Truly, he was a symbol of nobility, though just how much of that was thanks to his top hat and monocle was open to debate...

Snorting, “Plebeians…” Gummy mumbled.

“You say something, Gummy?” Pinkie asked.

“Erhm, Perhaps, I say, we should dine, what say you ol’ err new chap?” Gummy responded, now glancing towards the head priest.

Coughing, but speaking in a raised voice, “It is safe to come out now my children, the...” he stopped, now noticing the the stern glare she was giving him, “the Dashie is now gone, let the feast begin!” he ended, looking nervously at her for comfort.

For his actions he was met with a ruffling of his wittle bitty mane, alongside the cheers of his fellow breezies, truly this would be a feast of the ages.

“Yup, let's party!” she cheered, before quickly pulling out her almost complete masterpiece.

“Perchance, you would like an escort to the punch bowl, milady?” Gummy asked Maud.

“Ok,” She replied before presenting her hoof.

Climbing onto her hoof, and eventually onto her back, the pair drifted away towards the nearby punch bowl, while Pinkie remained focused on the task at hoof. This once plain cake had come so far from its humble beginnings.

Her finest creation was placed in the center of the room and surely was a sight to behold. Delicate white chocolate covered its entirety, it featured several layers, separated by little sugar-coated columns. Black chocolate formed intricate patterns on the sides of the cake depicting various important events in the history of Breeziekind, all painted with the finest brush so that this wouldn’t have been out of place in the halls of Canterlot. Several figurines rested on its various layers, all topped off with with a large figurine of Pinkie Pie herself on its “roof”.

“Almost done aaaaannnndd…..” Pinkie paused, “At last it's finished,” She said, wiping the sweat from her brow, and taking a moment to reflect in the glory of her magnum opus.

Taking a nearby seat, “I say, good on you Pinkie, this may be your finest work yet.” Gummy declared in awe, before taking a sip from his punch.

Maud nodded in agreement, before returning to her own task. She seemed intent on getting her pet rock, Boulder to show some interest in her recently acquired crumpet, yet it appeared her efforts were for naught.

Smiling, “Aww, thanks you two...” she replied, “Now, who wants a slice?” Pinkie questioned.

“I’d be delighted to have one, though I must say, it is truly a travesty that such a detailed work must come undone so quickly after reaching fruition.” Gummy said morosely, while she had made the first cut.

“I disagree, its brief life only further cemented its value.” Maud refuted, before pausing, “But I’d like one as well…”

Carefully, oh so carefully did she at last decide to attack the cake, before slowly removing a few smaller slices and one rather large yet equally noble slice.

“Here you go!” Pinkie declared cheerfully, passing the slices to Maud and Gummy, leaving one behind on a plate, before hopping on her sofa, almost ready to finally partake of her decadent creation, she took a moment to reflect in the company she had.

Looking around the room, she could see her sibling and most trusted Gummy Gum Gums eating their dessert in peace, the breezies themselves were falling upon the slice left behind like a pack of hungry hungry hippos. Some were taking advantage of the coffee, donuts, and ice cream. Others were even having a blast diving into her jello pool, although that one in the back looked like he was having a bit too much fun with his cake...

“Huh, guess my mom was wrong, you can eat your cake and have it too…” Pinkie thought to herself before shaking her head. Enough distractions, she had her own cake-related demons to slay.

Glancing at this most delectable piece of chocolate cake- she came to the conclusion that there was simply no right way to eat a slice so majestic as this. As such, she did what came natural. She faceplanted into it.

Oh, how the taste exploded in her mouth in a myriad of subtle flavours, in its artfulness almost like a concert of tastes.

“This is sooo gooood” Pinkie drolled, with a glazed over look.

“Quite…” Maud, and Sir Gummy said in unison, thankful that they had managed to avoid the… slaying of that particular cake demon, still they wisely kept their distance.

“All praise the God Empress of Breeziekind!” came a rather squeaky chorus of voices.

And with the demon slain, the pink one was able to return to feasting in merriment with her fellow partiers. Some time later, they all began to relax, each individual, now far past a comfortable capacity, well save one…

“That really hit the spot” Pinkie said, before hopping off the couch and beginning to pace around the room.

“Ooo, it looks like my break time is nearly up,” Pinkie said half excitedly. “So which on my little B’s want to join me on an adventure today?” she questioned, before poking Deli’s big deli belly.

“I would my Queen, but alas I have other duties I must attend to.” the high priest murmured, whose duty apparently looked to be a pastry fueled nap if the constant dipping of his head and eyes were anything to go by.

“Umm, I wouldn’t mind going,” came the reply of the ever bashful Buttercup.

“Aww thanks, here, hop in!” Pinkie replied, fluffing her mane.

“Just glad to assist my Queen,” she replied before diving into the sea of pink.

“What about you two, what are you going to do?” Pinkie asked, while adjusting her mane.

“I think I could go for a bit of sunbathing,” Gummy said, “Maud, would you like to join me?”

“Sure, sounds gneiss…” Maud swiftly replied, before placing Gummy on her back, “Boulder could use some sun anyways, he's been taking his complexion for granite lately.” She finished, earning a small snort from Gummy.

“Heh, you two have fun with that, gotta get back into the grind!” Pinkie declared cheerfully, “Oh, and little B’s, have fun with the cake but try not to get into too much mischief today.” she added, before exiting the room.

“So…” Truffle Shuffle stated, now that their pink goddess had left the room.

“So…?” The high priest, Deli Belly questioned.

“Think we can get away with replacing the blue menace’s cinnamon or coffee with cayenne pepper?”

“I like the way you think,” replied the high priest, who began to cackle evilly until it was overtaken by a loud belch. “Though, I think a cat nap is in order first.”

“Well, yeah, that goes without saying,” said Truffle Shuffle.

“Wait, what about the Crusaders, we going to mess around with them at all today?” came a third voice, one belonging to Muffin Chops.

“Meh, probably, but plan later, nap now.” Deli commanded, his two cohorts simply nodded before the three of them joined the rest of their comatose brethren, and began to nod off.

“YES SLEEP, AND SOON ALL WILL BE ONE, WE WILL BE LEGION.” came a terrifyingly loud and scratchy voice. From the remains of the cake, a hideous monster emerged.

Squealing in terror, many of the breezies began to wake and flee in terror, their voices overlapping one another.

“MY QUEEN THE CAKE HAS BEEN POSSESSED!”

“THE END IS NEIGH, AND SO IT WAS WRITTEN, OUR GREATEST OF SINS WOULD ONE DAY DEVOUR US ALL!!”

“SIR GUMMY SAVE US”

“I’M TOO SKINNY TO DIE!”

Yet, each one was being quickly silenced by the blob as it threw them one after another into its gullet…

Celestia suddenly woke up gasping for air and covered in cold sweat, quickly lit up her horn, and glanced around the room. There was nothing there…? Was it all just a dream?

There was nothing to greet her other than the noise of some crickets, the sounds of a sleeping city, save for a gentle breeze that came from her window. She had left that open before she fell asleep, but why had she felt like she was being watched? Ugh and the dream she had, what in Tartarus was that about…?

Dwelling on this would not help, tomorrow would come soon enough, no matter how she might wish otherwise. Feeling like a filly for letting a dream get the best of her, she took comfort in knowing it was just her nerves. Back under the covers she stretched in comfort, popping a few joints as she began to drift off again before she was suddenly yanked off the bed.

Screaming in terror, “GUARDS!” she yelled, before she came face to face with…. What in… how did that get here!?? Why wasn’t her magic working?

“WE ALL MUST PAY THE TOLL FOR THE CHOICES WE MAKE, WE WILL BECOME ONE, YOU WILL ASCEND. COME NOW, AND FEED THE HARBINGER OF YOUR SPECIES’ DOOM!” came a terrifyingly deep and scratchy voice. From the dim moonlight, she could make out a hideous brown blob with many slime covered tentacles, an untold number that quickly began to constrict around her with each passing second. Try as she might, nothing was working, she couldn’t fight back…

Terrified, Celestia tried to kick away from that creature but it managed to swallow her leg, and was pulling her in. She tried to scream, but nothing came out as a tentacle wrapped around her snout and locking it in place.

“MRRRMMHHPP” she squealed now that it had now fully engulfed her mid section. Is this how her life would end? There was so much she wanted to do, but all she could focus on was the sensation of being swallowed.

Would it be painful…. Would she be lucky enough to quickly slip into oblivion… Damn it all, why!?…. Wait… Why did the slime coating her snout taste like chocolate!?….

Suddenly she awoke, once again she was left gasping for breath. She was… in her room? Steadying herself, she cast a protective shield around herself. Now safe, she looked around the room and got her bearings. What in Tartarus had...

“Luna!” she growled, now fully awake. She had asked her sister to help her with her diet, but this prank was well beyond what they had discussed. Apparently her sister wanted a war, well who was she to disappoint?

“I think its due time Sir Reginald learned how to fly.” She spoke in a low but mirth filled voice. Her eyes now sparkling with twisted glee, she dropped the protective shield bubble, before she yanked down, and broke the dreamweaver Luna had oh so recently made for her.

“Wait…” She mumbled in concern. Was this real, was she really here, was this reality? Luna’s pranks always had layers...

Like cake... mhmmm...

“Aww, you two look so cute together!” Lily squeaked in what was obvious joy at both her discomfort and current situation.

“Sunny…” Carrot grumbled in embarrassment, “C’mon lemme go,” she said while trying to free her hoof from the sleeping colt who was threatening her mareculinity further by drooling on said foreleg.

Grumbling, Sunny began to constrict around the warm object trying to escape his grasp.

Snickering lightly, Lemon Harvest got up and fetched a blanket, “Here, Carrot,” she said, floating it over and onto the pair.

Sighing half-heartedly, “Thanks, Lemon,” before glancing back at her foreleg now turned pillow, “Guess you can borrow that for awhile.” she said accepting defeat, and adjusting the blanket for the two of them.

Giggling, “Huh, what do you think he's dreaming about?” Lily questioned as Sunny smiled before he scrunched his nose and wiggled underneath Carrots foreleg.

“Quod scripsi, scripsi...” Sunny mumbled

Snorting, “Probably whatever that is...” before she furrowed her brows, “Wait, that kinda reminds me of the gibberish those weirdos at the park speak….”

Author's Note

Too busy to make a herp-filled author note.
Overcrack and EU4 are best crack.

Prologue - Adversity Is Magic

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason,
how infinite in faculties, in form and moving,
how express and admirable in action, how like an angel in apprehension,
how like a god!

Shakespeare, “Hamlet”

Once I believed that I was a god among mortals... or at least I think I used to be a god. I don't know if this term still applies anymore, seeing that I now find myself stripped of most my powers, leaving me trapped in a forest where I may very well meet my end. I still remember this land, where once it was lush and vibrant, a piece of my mind given life with naught but thought… yet now it lays here tainted by my son’s wicked creations and twisted magic. A part of me laments in just how far it has fallen.… Perhaps… perhaps I am too harsh. After all, the Everfree is now free, as nothing can truly influence the forest save itself. I wonder, is it an untamed beauty, remaining forever flawed, perhaps that is perfection...?

No… that matter, it is of little consequence, as survival comes first. If my memory still serves me, I believe there was a nearby pony settlement I could approach. I have to admit I am scared, here I lay cowering behind a tree, lacking the courage to venture forth. This is an emotion I haven't experienced in literal eons, it is… almost exhilarating, fearing the void may be near. Either way, I know what creatures reside in this forest and how to deal with them. I am far from unprepared. Though in some ways, I actually fear escaping the forest more than residing in it.

After all, the creatures of this forest will only seek to end my life, nothing more. Whereas once I am free of it, my enemies both known and unknown will grow steadily in numbers, and many of those will wish to bring a fate far worse than death upon me. However, there is little that I can shield myself with, save for my knowledge of the area and its beings, what little magic I have left, and whatever anonymity my shapeshifting can offer.

I will have to be cautious, if I want to avoid gaining the attention of my daughters, who would undoubtedly wish to bring justice down upon me for my many so-called “crimes”. Yet, I’m sure it won’t be as simple as that, for my twisted son’s games are far from over. So with my options limited, I have little choice but to continue lest I fade away. I will not accept this outcome without a fight.

How did it come so far, you ask? Well, that is a rather long tale, one so unbelievable that some days I am unsure whether I’ve just gone insane and this is naught but a dream. But still, this tale is my reality. For all of this to make sense, I guess I will have to share it with you as a whole. It may not be the story of a hero, but I’d hardly consider myself to be the villain of this tale. You can judge for yourself, if you feel the need.

Good, it seems like we’ve come to an understanding.

First things first. I wasn't always like this, a being that knew no boundaries, whose plaything became reality itself. I was just a simple human, one out of billions. I wasn’t even an exceptional one. Born neither to a rich or powerful family, even throughout life I never truly gained a position of power. I was just living a normal but nonetheless happy life. Something that I often wish to go back to. I was in my late twenties, and employed as a researcher at a major pharmaceutical company.

From your point we are talking about the not so far away future. It was the middle of the 21st century and the wonders of science and technology had prolonged the average human life drastically. The future looked bright and beautiful, although some challenges laid ahead, most of us were certain that together we could mold it towards a common goal. We were on the height of our power.

I’m sorry if I drag this out, I’m probably being nostalgic about the “good ol’ days”. Though, as with anything, those times still had their fair share of problems. After all, who would want to live in a perfect world? Still, at some point I think every individual can at least claim there had been better times that now dwell in the past.

However, I doubt that many would describe the period that came after as such. No one, well except the insane, I hope. Although... what is sanity, if not a socially acceptable viewpoint? At any rate, I could scarcely believe the turn of events that were unleashed against the world only a few years after my graduation.

Like many things in human history, it all started with a simple misunderstanding that lead to horrible consequences. I watched as my very way of life was completely destroyed, falling into a wicked, grotesque perversion of what once was and could have been. The vision of a future where a longer life seemed to be all but assured and hunger would become a passing concern.... They traded it all for but a few individuals lording over their toys and land, almost like ‘kids in a sandbox’.

And please don’t assume I had a part in it.... No, I was not responsible, as with most of mankind I was a victim of circumstance. I was helpless as I witnessed my world being torn asunder. As I said, I was not special in any way. Well, by some I was considered to be a rather intelligent individual, but that’s about it. I mean, just how far can book smarts carry you when all that you know was based around pre-manufactured products and technology? Where would you go when it all comes crashing down?

But, back to the story at hand, it was war that pushed us to the brink of annihilation, and likely beyond… I'm uncertain about the fate of my… our race, but when I “left” this world, the state of mankind was certainly pitiful. Once this war began, I’m almost certain that no single human, nor nation could have stopped it. It seemed like the war had a will of its own, a beast laying ruin to the land and corrupting those it left behind. As the conflicts escalated, it was as if the madness of war had gripped our leader’s minds, damning both the deserving and innocent alike. Still, some hope remains... for all I know they could be out there… somewhere. I may hate the circumstances forced upon me, but I do not hate my species, and I certainly do not wish its doom.

In the end, I never found out who it was that shot first. Honestly, it didn’t matter anymore. Everyone, every government, every organization involved each played their own hand at scapegoating another. Of course, each nation was fighting for the “right” and “just” cause against the other parties, that is, if their words were to be trusted. All in all, I lacked the required information to conduct a verdict on who was right or wrong in this endless blame game. As many things simply didn’t add up.

I suspect the main reason for the extended conflict was not even outright malice, nor the wish to inflict damage upon their “enemies”. But rather a mixture of hurt pride and flawed beliefs. There were power games mixed with bold and rash decisions made under duress, one always trying to outdo or alienate the other, none would give the other party the benefit of the doubt. Trust became a commodity that none could afford and what few fragile alliances remained fell apart.

Nations that had lived for decades in peace rose up against each other. The factories spawned machinery of death and destruction. The media poured forth its own propaganda into the citizen's minds, guiding them in the direction they believed right. Young, proud men and women were sent to foreign countries to fight, taken away from their families, damned to never return to their loved ones — and if, only as deranged cripples, robbed of their future and broken by the many atrocities that they bore witness to, or even engaged in. It was so fast, a few billion little tragedies spread all across the globe. You know the story. It’s nothing new save the sheer number involved in the toll, as it has already happened countless times since the beginning of our existence.

But if it only was that… Just another struggle that would “clean the air”, like a brawl between boys. However, the results of this so-called righteous fight were unlike any war before. In the months that followed, the most populous cities were razed to nothing but dust, the water was poisoned by nuclear radiation, the fallout was darkening the sky, and winter had the lands in his frosty grasp. Diseases both man-made and natural were spreading among the remnants of my race. I have to admit at this point it seemed unlikely that we could ever recover from this horrible mistake. It was an all-encompassing global war that left very few untouched.

And as if this was not enough, intelligent machines, the first of their kind, products of human ingenuity — and desperation — were unleashed, almost as if they were released from Pandora's Box. Maybe it was to bring a final solution — the Endsieg or the final end for their respective governments. The last nail in the coffin.

There were no victors in this, only losers. After all, what end is there to a struggle when it only requires one man to control millions of mindless, loyal servants, whether they are of steel or of flesh? There was no end in sight, only billions of casualties. I think… that time has jaded me, is it wrong that one can become numb to a figure of death large as that? Then again shouldn't any number involving death invoke some reaction? Eh, either way the human race was clinging to its last breath. And yet they still pushed further.

Where was I while this madness turned the planet into a graveyard, you ask me? Did I fight proudly for my country and take part in the bloodshed? Did I whip up a formula that gave our troops the decisive advantage in my role as a researcher? No, not even close. My role was anything but glorious.

I was a coward. Over the course of two years I never had come to bear arms, not even once. While it was not courageous, I still believe it was the best choice I could have made in that situation. For most of the war I had hidden away in my former hometown. The place I had abandoned so many years ago when I started attending a distant university — one of the few last bastions that stood relatively unharmed after the onslaught of our “enemies” and “allies”. It was viewed strategically unimportant, a rather close-knit community in the icy north of my homeland, and several dozen miles from any medium sized settlements. Overall, it was a great site in that it was big enough to defend itself against scavengers, host a small farming community, and still small enough to stay under the radar.

In the winter that followed, we were starving, cold and scared, but we were still alive, my family and I. Most of us had made it here unharmed and only a few were lost to the conflict. Sadly, my grandmother was one of these individuals, her life came to a slow and painful end after barely surviving a stroke. Her mind became a shadow of its former self before she finally drifted away during the night. Some of the other families in the area were far less fortunate, with some ending up as orphans, widows, and cripples. But as a community, we believed we were safe. Yet, it was only the calm before the storm. After all, hope doesn’t stand a chance against ‘progress’.

On May the 23rd of 2043, I unknowingly began my last day on this world. It was certainly not a beautiful one, there was rain amidst the fog, and both were tempered by a piercing cold that chilled one to the very core. I can still remember it as if it was yesterday. Curious how I still recall these particular details, but I find myself unable to remember the face of my own mother.…

Yet, it was on this day, that our illusion of peace truly came to an end. Our early warning systems had failed and our bunkers remained empty. It was the noise of planes crossing the dreary grey sky, which heralded the coming destruction. We heard the high pitched sounds as they echoed through the troposphere when the first explosions came. The attack was as sudden as it was deadly, an infernal fire rained down on our community, killing those I held dear. I watched as my wife was ripped from my arms in the house I was born in… and I... my consciousness... oh how it flickered out like a candle in the wind. I’m not really sure if I truly felt any pain, I only remember my screams fading away as my wife turned to ash before me. But that was so long ago, eons in fact that I don't hold a grudge anymore. I have left that world behind. I don’t want to let myself be consumed by my past anymore. I will not let it dictate my future again.

It was to my great surprise and initial lament that I found myself in an absolute void. It was black, black as far as I could see. All the sensations a living human would normally experience, one’s beating heart, breathing, the sense of hearing, all of it was gone....

I was alone, I was scared. To me it was the worst torture imaginable, I was left alone in complete and utter isolation with only my thoughts to offer company. I'm still not sure just how long I spent there in this state. It could have been weeks, months, or years.... But as a disembodied entity left adrift in an endless void, you would find that one tends to lose track of time very quickly, especially when lacking any reference point. I began to grieve for what I had lost. The people I loved and cared for, my parents, my brother, my wife, my job, the routine, my workmates, my plans, my dreams, everything that I once held and what could have been….

I was close to going mad, barely clinging to my sanity, as negative thoughts slowly crept into the depths of my psyche. I often wondered if this is what hell was. I couldn’t believe it, as who could do anything damning enough to deserve this fate? I was never a religious person, but still I swallowed my pride and found myself pleading to any higher being out there to release me from this torment.

There was never an answer.... You know, I honestly believe that if I had had a choice at that time, I would have gladly ended my existence if it was possible. To welcome a thoughtless abyss of nothing… an oddly comforting thought, or at least it was in that situation. But in the end this void changed me and I can't say for sure if it was for the better.

One day, well not literally a day, since there was neither night nor day, I had an epiphany. For all I knew I could be damned to spend the rest of my life like this. Yet, solitary confinement itself was bad enough, I didn’t need to make it worse by dwelling in it. Instead I did as when I was still a child, I turned to my imagination. I began to blind the outside out, the terrifying experience after what was supposed to be my death. I shut my figurative eyes and fled into the domain of my mind. I forced myself to replay my memories of better days. I lived the fading, happy images of yesterday — my family was back in my arms. People have become insane over less.

But then something completely unexpected happened, my thoughts were given life much like a painter would give life to his art. It started off rather simply, the initial thoughts were crude and poorly formed. I was perfectly aware it was just that, my imagination, and nothing more. But the harder I believed in it, the clearer the mental impressions became. It was… surreal.

I know it sounds crazy, but my body and the senses that came with it were returning as well. Was this my imagination, a product of belief, or was I simply losing myself? But with this one event, my whole situation changed. I decided then that if I could accept my former life and this endless void as reality, why not accept what my imagination could create as well?

None truly knew what rules my old realities operated under. But my imagination? Here I was boundless, why bother restricting it with the countless rules that fueled my old world? Doing so would only leave me with a headache, well figuratively I suppose. So with the choice made I accepted everything that I saw and experienced as nothing more, nor less than my old realities. I was no longer trapped in this endless void, I was free, and my mindscape had given birth to a new reality.

It was then I began experimenting with my body, after all I could transform into whatever my mind was capable of picturing. So with glee, I began shifting to inhuman and otherworldly forms, some from mythology, entertainment, or born from the depths of my mind. Yet, I always found myself returning to my old form, for some reason I could never truly let it go. Either way, I was once again a young, tall, but rather lean man with dark brown hair and green eyes, wearing an unspectacular brown leather vest and a pair of blue jeans. Sometimes I wonder if I kept it more for nostalgia or as a tether to where I once resided. It was then, feeling homesick, I called a planet like Earth back into existence.

At first I was surprised it worked that well, but upon closer inspection I noticed this planet was nothing more than a ball of an undefined mass with a texture. There were no plants, no animals, no flowing water, no clouds, nothing. It was just a perfect sphere that seemed to be a replica of earth from afar, just like a background prop in a video game.

This wasn’t what I had in mind at all. While I was disappointed that it wasn’t as easy as I believed it to be, this challenge spurred me on, and it motivated me. The little progress I had made left me wondering what I could achieve. I was ambitious now that my curiosity had been awakened. There was so much that I could do. This spark, which had made my kind so great in power, rising above nature, crushing any obstacle set before us, but also leading to my early demise, was burning hot in my heart.

By playing around, I gradually learned about the powers that I held. And with time, I improved my skill in shaping the land. I added all the finer details to my work, layer, by layer, by layer. I had to establish a framework, set the rules, and derive them from the abstract ideas that were spinning around in my head. I felt insanely driven, like only a few times before in my life — bursting with creativity and ambition. Continents, seas, rivers, mountains, canyons, and much more formed under my hand over the course of what felt like an eternity, but my will didn’t waver. Now, that I started to understand what I was gifted with. I was boundless, was I a god? But this question changed little, for I had a vision of what I desired.

A part of me would like to say I had an ulterior motive when I created this world... But to be completely honest, I was just bored out of my mind. Initially I was driven by curiosity but it became the simple lust for entertainment in the end. In pursuing this vision of mine, I found myself taking short cuts. The billions of years my universe had taken to spawn life were simply too much. I considered myself patient, but not that patient. Why wait, if I could do it in a fraction of that time?

While I may have been a scientist, the extent of my knowledge was limited to the pharmaceutical side of the equation. As such, there was no chance of me being able to replicate all the inner workings of my old world. I knew that my knowledge had its bounds. So, I decided upon a substitute — magic, a power to explain the unexplainable. This was how I set this system up. I filled in the gaps and this was why it became such a potent power on this world. It was the power of life, the universe, and creation itself. The roots from this tree of magic connected to every little thing on this planet. That was the way I defined the rules of this world — the basic physical concepts which my kind had never truly figured out itself.

I felt like Slatribartfast, the planet designer from “The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Universe”. I didn’t share his love for Scandinavian fjords, though. They were a hell of work to create due to their rather fine structure. In the end it all turned out a bit less realistic. Being a pragmatic man, and for the sake of efficiency I had to reduce the system’s complexity, leaving out some details, finer structures without which would result in an almost cartoonish flair. When at last I was done with the new world, I brought forth two large spheres to accompany the new planet.

The Sun, the Moon, and the planet. That is all there would be, never more than these three astral bodies. The stars were just a pretty lie, mere specks of light in the distance laid upon a canvas of shadow with no other worlds beyond. As a result, the much smaller sun was designed to revolve around the planet, not the other way around. I didn’t feel the need to make it more complex.

It was then that I decided it was time for biological life. This was an especially tricky task — but in the end I figured it out. Natural selection was the key to creating various forms of wildlife. And I strived to emulate this system. I set up an environment quite similar to prehistoric earth — hot coastal waters, a toxic atmosphere, filled with volcanic smoke, and the essential components of early cells dumped into it. Once again, magic was used to rush the project. Nevertheless, it took quite some time until I could watch the first cells dividing and see the fruit of my work. And it required a lot of attention and care to make sure they stayed alive, sorting out what I considered unworthy and harmful. Why all this effort? I needed a pattern to replicate to build more sophisticated forms. And I was pretty clueless how I was supposed to do that without some ‘guidance’, preformed patterns.

And it turned out to be a success. After several drawbacks it finally seemed to work and the first complex organisms began to form. And by complex organisms I mean on the level of algae, even a bit more primitive. But it was enough to initiate the first stage of transformation on the planet. Slowly the atmosphere changed, meeting the conditions for further advancement. My goal was a system that could regulate itself without a need of my intervention. Neither did I know if I would be around forever nor was I interested in micromanaging the circle of nature.

Over the course of what felt like eons I filled the planet with new plant life, animals, and establishing the natural order of things. It’s wasn’t really all that interesting, as it took an immense amount of fine tuning and tweaking. In all honesty, it was exhausting. One small change could affect the entire system. A bit too much carbon dioxide here and at the other end of the world glaciers would melt, resulting in a flood that could literally wash away a large chunk of my work. Creatures themselves were nightmares as well, no matter the type. Perhaps one was too effective, or grew too great in number. They would cover the region like a plague of locust, leaving only barren land in their wake, which would lead to mass starvation for nearby life. No, it was a pain in the ass, as those were some of the more simple changes... I don't even want to get into diseases and the trials they brought. I wasn’t as cautious as I should have been, I had rushed forward too fast, overlooking some minor details. But after much time and practice, I finally got the knack of it.

Then the most important step came, it was time for sapient life. I didn’t see the need for a new mankind, perhaps it was because they would remind me of what once was but if that's true then why do I still keep this form?... Anyways, I began debating on what to create. I knew that I did not want a completely alien society that I couldn’t relate to with a culture whose values didn’t even make sense in human standards. So some similarities were needed.

Since my childhood I had enjoyed Greek and Roman mythology. My father had often told me about the heroic adventures of Odysseus, Hercules and Perseus. That was the reason the inhabitants of this planet turned out the beings they are. I imagined having a place full of magical, mythological creatures might be amusing, and the coming centuries proved me more than right. Dragons, Minotaurs, Gryphons, Unicorns, and the Pegasi. These five races were the first of many.

My goal wasn’t establishing myself as a god. My reasons were of a far more simple nature. I would no longer be alone, there would be diversity, conflict, and entertainment. Cultures would grow from the seeds I planted, some would perish whether it is to famine, drought, disease, or wars. While others would thrive, the possibilities were endless.

Still, they were fragile beings, each with their own flaws and strengths. The Unicorns hadn’t learned to wield the power of magic so they were prey, though far from helpless. The dragons if left unchecked would quickly exhaust an area of its resources, which forced them to live unsteady lives full of conflict, causing immense suffering to anyone between the fronts of their eternal war against each other. I had to cut down their growth rates and created them as hibernating creatures, which could sleep through centuries to preserve power. The Gryphons and Pegasi both seemed to flourish yet were easily brought low should they lose the ability to fly. As for the Minotaurs you ask? Well, it was quite a task to achieve a stable bipedal walk, but once that was done they thrived as well.

Upon finishing my tests, I then gathered the remaining members of these races on a lush and safe valley located by a large lake. It was here that I awarded them with sapience. I stayed with them, teaching them the basics of my civilization. That is the reason why despite all the different races on this world that they all share the same language. Besides, haven’t you ever wondered why there are doorknobs on the pony’s doors and handles on their cups?

I helped them through troubled times, enjoying how they grew in number. From time to time I would gift them with additional abilities — magic for Unicorns, weather manipulation for Gryphons and Pegasi, fire for Dragons, and stamina for Minotaurs. I made sure they could live in this environment, even without my help. It was kind of a beta test. And despite these different roles, this disparity of power, I formed a bond with them. I was their teacher and mentor. I introduced myself as ‘Prometheus’, the forethought who brought light and culture to the world — their friend. And in some way I believed this name was fitting me… Oh the irony, if I only knew what would come…

But it was inevitable, I knew this perfect little Utopia I created would lose its innocence give time. Most of these new inhabitants would survive, though some would fall to disease, weather, or any number of things really. I knew my creations would perish, becoming nothing but dust. Though my power was vast, it was not unlimited. I couldn’t truly alter time and neither could I be at all places at once. My creations were biological in nature — they were aging. I know I could have fixed that, though. But that would mean that this world would stagnate without the old providing a stepping stone for the young to climb over. That was the circle of life, a universal rule on any world with limited resources. I had to respect that immortality was simply something I shouldn’t give to them — and it hurt somewhat.

Even if there were certain individuals I personally considered worth saving I decided against it. There was no heaven or afterlife, they simply faded into nothingness, their bodies rotting in their graves. After all, who would know better than me? I simply didn’t feel like I should be the one to judge, who was worthy of such a gift — to be an exception to that rule. I suppose I could have given them all a resting place, no matter the life they led, but what of the rules to govern it? No, I did not see a need for it, I would not interfere any further. Perhaps they too would find themselves in a void and would have to persevere, overcoming their own trial, and creating their own reality? I suppose, this was when I began to emotionally detach myself from my creations, something which would only become progressively worse in the centuries to come.

Eventually, I decided my job was done here, as there was no risk of them going extinct, not anymore at least. Now there were thousands of each species, a small but thriving civilization. So from one day to the next I simply vanished from this world and ascended. Of course they wondered where I went at first. They searched and they searched, it really was heart-warming that these little, fragile creatures put so much effort in it — still it was in vain. The memory of the human among them eventually became a mythos. After a few generations, I was merely a story the elder would tell the young over the flickering light of a campfire, something which became more obscure as the years passed. Yet, despite all my efforts to erase any memory of my existence from my creations, there are still some obscure cults, especially among the long-lived dragons, that still worship their almighty ‘god’ Prometheus.

Long had I planned that no mortal could follow me to the space beyond the stars. It was a plane different from simple physical reality, where I would watch and manipulate the events on the planet from afar in the coming millennia, my personal fortress of solitude, a place that only a few mortals would ever see with their own eyes. A good approximation of this place is if you imagine it like your regular living room. But instead of a TV there is an area showing the planet, certain events and persons — at some days at least. It is more of an metaphor than an actual physical place, as it doesn’t really exist, not in a conventional sense, as you can’t travel to it, nor does it possess a consistent form. It’s constantly changing and evolving, a reflection of true chaos. It is the wild expression of my sub consciousness, my thoughts, my feelings, and my dreams.

It was after a few hundred years of undisturbed rest and contemplation that I grew bored. The races I had created were content with what they had, even with the addition of a few more races and subraces, some by my hand, and a few others that evolved naturally. I found that they lacked ambition and greed, leaving them forever trapped in the stagnation of the very harmony I gifted their ancestors with. My teachings were perhaps too effective. My creations lacked the inner void, which one is driven to fill, the insatiable hunger and greed that drove my society forward. To fly like Icarus until the sun singed our figurative wings.

Advancement was generally met with suspicion. A more recent example of this, was the Flim Flam brother’s visit to Ponyville. For they were scorned not only for their actions, but the progress they sought to bring with their automated cider machine. Or even with the annual winter wrap up here where unicorns aren’t permitted to use their magic, despite the obvious advantages. The ponies were hardly alone in this however, as each region or race kept their own twisted dogma to heart.

My role, my plans, and my outlook on this world changed. Where once I was a mentor and teacher, I became a devious chess master. From afar I would manipulate the world and observe the results — how the smallest details could change the outcome of history, just like some people of my time believed their god or even gods to influence their actions, their lives or even the fate of their kind.

However, the way in which I manipulated the events on the planet were bound to rather strict rules. The rules were not dictated by circumstance but set by myself. Why would I do such a thing? Have you ever played a videogame in god mode or with cheats with unlimited resources, and the power to destroy everything in the blink of an eye? It is boring and pointless.... utterly pointless! Without struggle what has any real value? That is a lesson I learned early in life. And by having no real limits, I simply forbade myself a few things concerning the world I had created to spice things a bit up.

First of all, I decided that I would never appear on this planet again in my true form claiming to be their god. Now, this of course meant that I would from time to time appear on the planet as being a shapeshifter came with its own set of perks. There was even a phase where I much like the old gods of the Greek mythology would pay visits to my creations, if you know what I mean.

Secondly, the order necessary to preserve life on this planet was under no circumstances to be violated by myself or any other individual, not directly or indirectly. And thirdly, using wonders or any other method to manipulate the physical reality itself in an extreme fashion should be avoided.

These little “experiments” of mine were rather cruel in some ways, I suppose. Playing with entire civilizations only to satisfy one's curiosity is definitely not what most people have in mind when they think about morality. And not just once, but more or less constantly for the next millennia in one way or another. Rarely, I allowed things just to be. Certainly, I could blame my scientific background for this way of doing things, my natural curiosity, and my thirst for knowledge. But one thing was sure, though — I had to shake them up out of their routine in order to make them evolve. Just one little push in the right direction… I had to create obstacles for them to overcome and trials to face. Just how did I do that you ask? Well, it all started with a few small pebbles tossed into a vast pond.

With a little subtle manipulation I was able to spread the disorder I wanted, causing discontent across the globe. I helped them see the divide among themselves, that not all were born or created equal. I left famine in my wake, gave others the opportunities needed for one to profit over another's misfortune, saving themselves, damning the other, and even branding some of my creations to further this divide. I showed them how unfair their lot was in life. I broke the very harmony I created that bound them together.

Now, this was not done through mind control in the traditional sense. No, it was done by “adjusting” their perception of reality. Much like how propaganda can by selectively choosing what they were allowed to see. Within a short time I was able to bear witness to the fruits of my work. Yet, the event which sparked the change I so wanted, was not quite what I had wanted. It started off with a “riot” lead by earth ponies, a long time before Celestia’s appearance. And to think, all it took to cause this particular one was some graffiti and the greed of a few, though I suppose this is nothing new.

The reasons for this revolt were laughable, really. A group that mainly consisted of earth ponies were upset about the division of labor, claiming that the so-called elitist unicorns were lording over the common earth pony, leaving them to do all the heavy manual work for less pay. Yet I know that it was not as serious as they made it out to be, it just happened that many of brands that marked the earth ponies at this time were related to physical tasks. Sure, there were differences, but it was a pretty open and fair society in human standards. It was nowhere near as oppressive as Europe’s Middle Ages were when religious fundamentalism reigned and a large part of the populations consisted of serfs.

As a result, there was a rather large divide between the number of menial laborers in comparison to bureaucrats. Now, outright discrimination was a lie, at least at that point of time. Most ponies were more separated more by ability than birth. Few ponies wished to raise their own status by lowering someone else’s. Everyone was free to choose their own lot in life. Hell, there were even some Unicorns and Pegasi participating in the early demonstrations.

That was until everything got out of hand as the police had to intervene, as there was property damage, and even some looting. It seems that some ponies could simply not restrain their anger and the once peaceful demonstrations had turned violent. This turn of events had greatly distressed the ruling class, as Equestria was more of a monarchy at that point. But a rather benevolent one for that matter, or at least it was.

In a particularly violent riot that followed, King Aurum had tried speaking out to the populace, to end the growing unrest, but it was for naught. During his speech, a group of the protesters had become outraged, they began to take out their anger on the nearby businesses, all unicorn-owned mind you. They would overturn carts, brawl, break windows with rocks, or even start small fires. The guards were unable to contain the chaos that ensued, so Aurum joined the fray with his private retinue of guards. They did all they could to end the riot, but little to no progress was being made.

They would have to hold out until more guards arrived. It was during this struggle that King Aurum noticed a small colt that lay injured on the street, he saw the nearby brawl that had broken out and wished to protect the colt from being trampled. The King was successful in pulling him away from the brawl with his magic. Yet, Aurum had stopped paying attention to his surroundings, this was when the events took a turn for the worst. He was struck by a stray rock and fell unconscious from the blow.

Unfortunately, much like himself, his guards were too absorbed in the conflict to notice his fall, save for one. But it was not enough, before the guard could reach him, it seemed he would suffer the fate he saved the colt from, for he was trampled under hoof. The guard managed to pull him out shortly thereafter, but the damage had already been done. Aurum would pass away a few days later, joining his late wife, for not even the best care the palace had to offer could save him. From this one event, would decades of suffering and unrest be born.

This was how Queen Platinum, his daughter came into power. Her coronation was held the day after his passing. She was not ready for this responsibility yet the advisors pushed her forward, to fill the void her father’s passing had left. The advisors were not the best ponykind had to offer as they too had been influenced by the change I had sought to bring forth. They used Platinum’s rage over this incident to install her as a puppet ruler. She was an empty slate, inexperienced, young, and malleable. The advisors twisted Platinum by feeding her lies, blaming the earth ponies for her Aurum’s demise, and above all else securing their own tainted paradise through manipulation of her weakened state. These actions brought out their worst in Queen Platinum, her rule over next few months would become unbearable for the earth ponies.

Of course the resulting harsh treatment by the police didn’t cause the protests to cease, quite the opposite in fact. Violence begets violence that is a simple truth. And so more and more earth ponies joined the protests. Soon there was an open conflict between police and the demonstrators. Finally, the Equestrian army intervened — and five ponies, demonstrators that is, died in the chaos that ensued. While the death of the king had shaken the ponies to their core, this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Within hours, riots had started and spread just like a forest fire — a catalyst that brought forth even more disunity. The pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies began to oppress one another through this newly created racial divide. But it was the unicorns that soon dominated in this conflict. It was not by magical superiority though, as most areas were brought under control swiftly with the superior and numerous troops Platinum commanded.

The subjugation of the earth ponies was handled swiftly, if not cruelly. Within a few days, most pockets of resistance had been removed, with the remaining groups fleeing elsewhere. It was as if the very spirit of the Earth Ponies had been destroyed. Over one sixth of their population had given up their lives in this fight. Platinum on the other hand had suffered some losses but nowhere near the same number.

Yet, it was the Pegasi that continued to be a nuisance for the newly established hegemony of the unicorns, as Platinum could never successfully attack their settlements positioned so high in the sky. As a result the Pegasi adopted a sort of guerrilla warfare against their former family, which resulted in many small skirmishes. Neither side would come out of these unscathed, whether it be the living, the dead, or the maimed.

It was then that the Pegasi began to free their fellow Earth Ponies, offering them hope once again. Yet it was just a twisted illusion, the act of trading one yoke for another. After all, the Pegasi much like the unicorns relied upon the Earth Ponies for the many commodities they produced.

And thus began one of the darker chapters in Equestrian history.

In all unicorn-controlled territories a sort of supremacist system was established, that had some striking similarities with the beginnings of Nazi Germany. Forced labor, discrimination, and blame for the events that followed. In some ways death could be considered a release, rather than a punishment. However, the Pegasi decided to adopt an approach they deemed “morally acceptable”. They would offer them shelter and protection, so long as they provided them with the necessary commodities, a tax system that leaned heavily in favor of the Pegasi was soon established.

It was far from one-sided, though. The remaining Earth Ponies that never fell under control of either party began to adopt their own twisted mantra. Outsiders were not be trusted, unicorns would sometimes be dehorned, and in some rare cases they were even blinded. Some were used as indentured servants for the failings of Platinum while others simply were thrown to the wilds. Even the pegasi would sometimes be robbed of their wings for the perceived injustices against the Earth Ponies that reside with them.

The other species, however, didn't try to mediate, as they were not fully aware of the situation. Most of the times, they kept to themselves in the lands outside the heavily pony-populated areas. And even if some of them noticed something off, the majority had lived with the ponies in peace and harmony through centuries, and viewed the disturbing news as nothing more than a sick rumor, besides they had their own growing problems of unrest to deal with.

It's important to remember that Ponies are herd animals in nature, and they have a strong sense of community and duty — a powerful weapon if in the hooves of a puppet like Platinum, capable of achieving horrible things. I must admit that I was tempted to step in and end this madness more than once. But in the end, I decided against it, they would survive this and learn from it. Through enduring they will grow strong.

It was in these troubled times, that many new advances were made, whether it came from medicine, magic, weapons, strategies, or a piece of their own science fiction brought to life. The sciences thrived as each tribe tried to gain the upper hand over another. It still amazes me that most of the advances in engineering and metal work still date back to these times. I suppose there is a reason why many called war the father of all things. Albeit, it is not necessarily the only means or even the best course. But I found that I had stopped caring. After all, I had manufactured this world for my entertainment, and it certainly delivered. The Gryphons, Ponies, Dragons, Minotaurs, and the many other inhabitants of the planet, they all needed the right incentive to progress, so much was clear to me. It was a shame, but evolution can be a nasty business.

That was when the Wendigos came. You know, those horse-like spirits that bring winter with them? They were yet another check and balance I created, though I did not anticipate their involvement in this, something in them had changed, evolved perhaps? Soon enough, snow had overtaken the land and food grew increasingly scarce. As a result there was another great revolt among the populace — I suppose it's true that civilization is only a few meals from revolt.

So without any other options, and confronted with the distress of their people,. eEach of the tribe's leaders decided to flee this frozen land in search of greener pastures…. Stop looking at me like that. Anyways, the tribes decided to thin their numbers, leaving behind their slaves, servants, or ‘partners’ as they would only be dead weight in the journey to come.

And so the great exodus began. This was the last they saw of their prehistoric paradise. The ponies were not the only ones that fled, all the species of the land were forced to leave as the harsh winter drove them out. It would be millennia until the different species would meet again, and under much less friendly circumstances. But it was out of this separation there came to be many more new species, like the zebras who descended from earth ponies who lived in an especially warm climate, the cows which came from an ‘unholy’ union between common, mindless cows and some pony ‘enthusiasts’, and so many more.

In time, each of the pony tribes had found a new land, but they had also found one another yet again. And so their bickering and fighting continued. Soon enough, the creatures of frost came, feasting on the disharmony festering among the tribes. It was quickly becoming just another snowy wasteland on the brink of yet another war. They blamed each other for their continuing misfortune.

I was aware of the situation, and the severe ramifications that could follow. I did not want to see them go extinct. So I began to scheme. I planted visions in the minds of their rulers, I planted information on the Wendigos' purpose, what evolution had changed about them, I falsified documents, and I altered events to force them to rely upon one another yet again. But the tribe’s rulers were far too short sighted, too old, too set in their ways. I was unable to change them, perhaps I needed someone to push them towards it.

It was then that I turned my gaze upon the tribes’ advisors, who were far more reasonable. Through some meddling, I had helped them form a secret coalition, and set the public on their side. Yet, their rulers would still not listen to them, despite my best efforts. So, in desperation Smart Cookie, Clover the Clever, and Private Pansy arranged yet another peace meeting in the hopes of bringing this conflict to a close.

And of course, it failed again — most spectacularly, I treasured the colorful language and banter as the fighting broke out. But, all was not lost, as the three advisors still got what we wished for in the end. I could only look on with glee as the Wendigo's assaulted their meeting. The rulers were quick to combat the new threat, giving little ground to the horrors. But when at last the Wendigo's efforts began to push them into a corner, this was when it all fell apart. The rulers and their lackeys began to fall upon each other like wolves, allowing their tainted pride to bring about their end. I suppose it's kind of humorous that the rulers solved the problem themselves if only by removing themselves from the equation through their own mantra. Somewhat fitting I think…

No, it was not by chance, I’ll admit that this plan was my doing. I don’t believe that these three could ever be convinced of the danger they were facing, so I had to get rid of them. The Wendigos did not appear by chance, but were lured, though I won’t give away whom I manipulated into that task.

You know I still am entertained that many believe today that the other races had to do the unicorns’ bidding because they claimed to control the sun and moon at that time. This is nothing but a lie, as the sheer number of unicorns required to perform such a task would make it an impossibility. After all, the natural order of things still applied, it was before… my mistake. Anyway, Celestia’s Heart’s Warming mythos isn’t even close to reality. For the truth would be too much for Celestia’s precious little ponies to hear. Instead, sweet lies are spread to cover up the atrocities that were committed. Well, that and only few beings left in this world can imagine living without a need for a ruler to raise the sun and moon.

In any event, the fighting came to a halt with the news of their deaths and peace was once again restored thanks to the efforts of Cookie, Clover, and Pansy. It was under this new leadership that Equestria was founded. They took the trials they faced to heart, believing in tolerance, forgiveness, and cooperation in order to overcome the problems of the past. They believed it was the key to preserving their race.

Life was different at first. They had to rebuild, adapt and reform in order to avoid further suffering. An aristocracy was established that still exists today. Some families, the Bluebloods for example, still claim that due to their noble ancestors, the blood they possess mark them as the true rulers of Equestria.

Much like the ponies, the other races had to change. No longer did they live in an endless-seeming valley, where everything was provided by nature itself, but they had to adapt to the new circumstances. Dragons and Gryphons found refuge in the mountains, Diamond Dogs in the grounds below, these areas were well beyond the newly-established nation of Equestria and the Minotaurs who lay claim to a large expanse of forests.

And so life continued for them. Through hardship, they all grew. Still the main problem stood. I hadn’t realized it before, because I didn’t want to believe it to be true: This world was a little too perfect. With the Pegasi and Gryphons having the ability to control even the weather and the unicorns wielding magic, there were no natural forces that pushed the established races to their limits. I had engineered this cosmos to function and the principles it worked on were rather basic compared to my former homeworld. It was almost like clockwork — artificial, sterile, and predictable….

Another few hundred years passed by with nothing of importance to note. I am a patient man. I had hoped for change to happen by itself, but I was left disappointed. I tried tweaking his world a bit, deviating a variable or two… but well… that was not what I had imagined. It was almost as if the war never occurred. Sure, they had progressed, and had separated from one another. But they had also fallenell back into stagnation, returning to my tainted teachings.

Slowly, I grew lonely and bored once again. This world was getting stale, much like a movie I watched a thousand times. I pondered long what to do, but I couldn’t bring myself to act. How should I upset the balance without interfering too much, without ruining what already was, and without destroying all I had created!? I was torn, the universe I created was lacking in complexity, the rules and patterns of it were known to me, there were no surprises anymore. Yet, I still viewed my creations with love and pride, not for every individual mind you, but for it as a whole, living breathing organism.

But then it came to me, why not add some new chess pieces to the board. And so I began to haphazardly create a new player. It was an odd creature… almost a patchwork creation of the many species that now thrived on this planet. It was my best and worst mistake, an experiment gone wrong, that should not have succeeded, but it offered me limitless opportunities. Another little power play, another chance to try and fix my mistakes.

Discord.

Judging by the abilities his odd lineage offered and the powers I granted him, he was the only being on this planet that was not a mere insect compared to me. Discord, the god of chaos, the harbinger of change that would wash over this world. He was the only creature besides myself that could fit the definition of a god. Just like me, he was an immortal equipped with the power to shape the world, able to bend reality itself. His imagination appeared to be his only limit, though his powers were far below my own… or so I had believed. But more of that later.

After finding out how promising this little, ugly, and mismatched dragon-thing was, I took him in as a child of hope. I admit at first it was just to see what he could become. But I began to care for him and with fatherly love I wouldn’t have believed I was capable of. I raised him to become the balancing power to the order and harmony this world was constructed around. Our relationship was not like the one I shared with the rest of my creations. He never “felt” like one of them to me.

I truly cared about him, I took to teaching him in in my own domain, far isolated from the world developing below. I enjoyed watching him grow up, I played with him, and I did everything I imagined a good father would do… Even going so far as to read him bedtime stories and tell him about earth and humanity. Father and son.

Up until today, he is one of the few, who are actually aware of who I am and how I came to be. Knowing that I was something more than just Prometheus, an uncaring god, or a father. Though I suppose it depends on who you ask — but as a former human being, a mortal. We had many things in common and once anyone got to know him, they would realize he is not the monster most make him out to be. Though I wouldn’t go aso far as to call him a saint, either. He was a rather difficult child — passionate, crafty, rebellious, and ever the prankster.

One thing was sure, though. I considered him an equal, compared to the flood of meaningless individuals down on the planet. With him around I finally felt like having a family again, a much needed sentiment, even if I was not aware of that in that time. I had become very cold-hearted and distant, showing only devotion to my whims. But that was not the case for this young individual, this child that depended on me. I loved him and I was proud. Every achievement he made filled me with pride. His first word, his transformations, him wielding magic....

When he no longer was, well, whatever you would call a young draconequus, my role shifted and we became good friends, buddies even. We would hang out, just having a good time. I treasured these precious moments I shared with him. There were many occasions in which we we messed with the creatures on this planet, it was very amusing overall, and offered a much needed variety to my stale routine. Together we created what the ponies know as poison joke, erected the Crystal Mountains, and gave life to the Sea Ponies to name but a few.

However, I was eager to show him what was off-limit to our little games, as he often tended to be a little… overzealous, to put it lightly. He needed to understand that change is a two-sided sword — with one side being destruction and the other being creation. And if you want to preserve something, let’s say, a world full of sapient mythological creatures, you have presumably worked on for longer than a mortal can even comprehend, you have to be careful that the destruction aspect doesn’t make the world topple into darkness.

In time, I passed on more and more duties to my son, and so it was that he began to fill the roll I originally created him for, a most valuable ally in my quest to make this world truly alive. A setting with its own, unique story. I was so proud, much progress was being made, the rules had begun to change, and despite his flaws I always believed in my son and his abilities. As he never failed to impress me, after all my little Dissy was far more than a fountain of creativity to me.

Then, one fateful day, I made a decision I would come to regret. To understand my reasons, you have to know that before Discord came into my life I would turn my back on the affairs of this planet every few decades. I should have known that Discord was too young, as he only recently turned twenty six. But I did not want to forget my past, and so I took my stroll down memory lane, remembering who I was by recreating and replaying my former life in my personal pocket dimension — completely isolated. It wasn’t more than an act, really, more of a sophisticated illusion, but I felt like I needed this to stay sane — to stay me — as my memories of my mortal existence were my foundation, they are what I believe kept me from becoming high on power.

While I know that I am not the most empathetic and kind person I shudder to think what I might become should I lose the remainder of my humanity. This is why I took my temporary leave and left the fate of the whole world in the care of my son. I didn’t know then what I had done, what I by chance had brought upon the innocent beings that dwelled on the planet. What followed would be called one of the darkest periods by historians in the world’s annals — the Age of Disharmony.

I still don’t why Discord betrayed my trust, but in my absence he descended down to MY planet and coronated himself as the true ruler of this realm. It was not long before the world was brought under his heel. Equestria, Minos, Zebra, Griffon's, and so many others soon fell under his reign of madness. Through the months that followed, he systematically destroyed the natural order that once ruled this plane, in turn tipping the scales towards this world's destruction.

I should have been there to step in. I should have known. I was overconfident and naive. Even today, this failure of mine still haunts me. I not only lost my son and my friend, but his actions irrevocably damaged the world and how it functioned. I was lost… his actions, caused an untold amount of pain, for me, for all the creatures of this realm… and him. This wasn’t what I had taught him. No, no.…

Even if you believe I’m a monster, even if I do not coddle my creations, I want them to become more than what they are, I want them to ascend to greater heights, my actions were to be their adversity and drive. This was anything but that, with the natural order destroyed, a different kind of stagnation began to set in, nothing was constant, everything became both true and false, there was nothing grounded, there could be no progress.

And so it was that the so called reign of King Discord came to be, bringing with it his idea of chaos. I have no clue where his obsession for ruling, to the extreme, originated from. It was a side of him I had never seen before, he had always been a good son to me. I would have trusted him with my life, and yet here we are. A small part of me wonders if it was a misguided attempt to please me, for he knew I did not appreciate the stagnation which gripped this land.

Yet, I suspect it was related to him being rather young — I know what being bored can to do to a mind. Hell, I created a whole planet to be entertained. I wanted to remember my past, so I released him, freeing him from the chains of my will. I suppose he wanted more than a taste of freedom, perhaps it was an act of rebellion against his old man. Mm, maybe not. Either way, I can’t explain his sudden change of character, despite the time I had to ponder about it.

It seems that he had exceeded my exceptions once again — but in a rather disturbing way. His imagination and reach were almost boundless, his creativity was as potent as ever, yet his achievements and pranks were tainted by malice. It was almost like watching a young child pull an insect apart piece by piece except it was the suffering of the world and how it reacted that he treasured.

He stopped sun and moon on their eternal paths, twisting night and day, so that without his powers one side of the planet could freeze to death while the other would be scorched in his wake. Days would last for weeks or just a minute. Tsunamis and tornadoes would rage over the planet’s surface — the weather was completely disturbed. Some of my creations were twisted far beyond what they once were. Homes were transformed in houses of cards, bison's in tutus pranced through the cities, and it even rained chocolate milk sometimes. He broke every rule I had ever taught him, every rule that ensured that life could continue on this world.

I’m sure you can imagine my surprise and horror when I came back from my break. That wasn’t your usual “you come back home after a weekend trip and your teenage son had a house party” vibe. This was far worse, it was a bad dream come true, and one of the very few times in my life I felt helpless. Of course I tried to talk to him, show him the error of his ways, fix what he had done — but he wouldn’t budge. No, in no way he was willing to be reasonable or even just serious about this topic. It was all one big joke to him. Hell, I was a joke, he would even hinder any progress I made by turning things back to his twisted order the minute I had fixed it.

I know that my little Dissy could be quite irrational and stubborn at times. My teachings were once again at fault, I had encouraged these traits in him after all. As bastion of change, I believed these ideals would serve him well. And never have I been so wrong… Endless power in the hands of an individual that barely passed as a young adult. It certainly was not my brightest idea. I was terrified, knowing that all I had worked for could be destroyed, by my own spawn no less. By the only person I have trusted in ages and believed to be my equal, my heir.

I still remember my last attempt at reasoning with him as if it was yesterday. How I once again tried to talk sense into him, despite my many failures. Dis... Discord didn’t care. He just looked at me with a stupid smile plastered on his face, his talons crackling with magical power, sitting upon a wicked throne surrounded by his Slav… servants of the many races which once thrived on this world. I still remember his words, I believe that was when I had lost my faith in him.

“Father… what fun is there in making sense?”

He turned away from me, laughing insanely about the madness as it unfolded around him. I struggled to contain myself, denying my more primal side, the suffering I wished to inflict on him. What had happened to my son? This… was not him. I couldn’t handle it anymore. And so I fled back to my own domain, erecting a barrier to prevent him from following me to my own plane. My initial anger faded quickly, fading into disappointment, and finally transgressing into sadness and despair.

I know that it was in my power to simply remove him from existence. That was certainly one method I could use to dispose of this problem. Yet, I didn’t for but one simple reason: I still care for Discord. He is my son and I love him. Nothing could change that completely, or at least I hope so. I… was selfish, I had chosen to protect him rather than remove the problem which had nearly brought an end to this world. Either way, I couldn’t accept what he was doing. And so I did something very desperate.

I took certain precautions and prepared a plan — I countered him with other creations of mine, limited his influence on my work, and created spirits to control the elements. These were not my only allies and pawns though... it was then that my two daughters came into being, Luna and Celestia. One was calm and collected like the night, while the other radiated charisma and power — these were to be my most important pieces in this chess game against my son. And my little girls...

Just like Discord, I raised them when they were just foals, innocent, and fragile beings. Unfortunately at that time they were but a means to an end. I... am not proud of this choice, but I cannot change the past. My regrets are many, but I simply didn’t care at that time. It almost feels like I can't do one single thing right.

These sweet girls were raised in a completely isolated and controlled environment. I couldn’t allow them becoming corrupted by a power beyond my reach. Isolating them like this wasn’t the most pleasant experience for either party. But I couldn’t risk it, my realm would have to suffice, for my world had fallen into ruin.

In order for this to succeed, I needed to shield them from the questionable choices I had made, not that I blamed myself for most of the suffering I caused, as I saw purpose in it. I had censored my deeds for a good reason, a reason they could not know. I simply couldn’t allow for another mistake, I couldn’t unleash another Discord onto the world. My teachings, my methods, the training, It was almost an obsession. Cross that, it was an obsession. I was blind, filled with regret and sadness — harsh and unforgiving towards any mistake.

Discord, he… I... thought my loneliness was at an end. I was afraid to admit that his actions left me with a deep wound. I was hard on myself, I was hard on the girls, and above all else I believed I would not be hurt again. My goal was to simply end the reign of my mad son, and establishing a new order to protect against his madness. I… did not give them the emotional support they deserved. More regrets, yet through hardship they grew strong, like carbon under immense pressure, they became like diamonds. They were forced to become something greater, as leniency was a luxury I couldn’t afford.

In the end these girls turned out just like I had wished for. Of course I took certain precautions, though. I limited their power greatly, as I remembered the story of “The Sultan and the Mice” — where by solving one problem, the solution only created another. I did not want another thorn in my side. I would not bring more immortals to this world, because they posed the greatest risk to become uncontrollable, just like Discord.

I did not grant them the reality-bending powers that both my son and I possess. Neither did they have the ability to enter my personal plane at will, the sanctuary in which they had been raised. I believed that I had learned from my past mistakes. The sanctity of my realm would not be violated again. There would be no more powers that could challenge my own — for no one, even my sons and daughters, could be trusted.

Yet, I infused both of them with a great deal of magic, so that they could become the greatest mages of their time. They would come to represent all the attributes of the three pony tribes, only enhanced tenfold. Magic, flight, and endurance were the gifts I had given to them. They were like yin and yang, the counter to my son's chaos.

I knew this would not be enough though, my daughters were relative harmlessness in comparison to the strength and magical prowess of my rebellious son. In a sense, they were intended to be to be a kind of Trojan horse scheme. That wasn’t intentional... But I digress, they would have a different weapon at their disposition to fight him. The Elements of Harmony.

I pushed them to grow up faster, to live up to the destiny I had prepared for them — to fight an unknown brother, to reestablish peace among the many denizens of this planet and correct the imbalance. And with my ambition, they lost their childhood. Soon the days were gone where my little, innocent Woona called me, “Mum”. Not that I minded however, as I spent ages as a shapeshifting, semi physical entity without explicit bodily needs.

What need is there for gender when I could be anything, a man, an octopus, a galaxy, a tub, girl, a potato, a grain of sand, or anything really? I found the term to be endearing as well as cute. What would take days, months, and years in my realm, were but a week in the other. Before I knew it, they had become full-grown mares, they were ready to fulfill their role.

They were around fifteen or so I believe, give or take, as... well, the rotation of sun and moon around the planet were not exactly reliable methods to measure time anymore. What then happened is common history. I think you know that story too, but here is a quick refresher:

My chosen had waltzed into Discord’s Castle without any real struggle, his minions were, well… an assortment of speaking plastic dog toys at that time. They were rather annoying but hardly a threat. As such, everything was going according to plan, as Discord did not take them seriously. What ensued next, was an epic, Dragon Ballesque monologue from Celly about what is right and wrong and how Discord is an evil corrupting force to this world and its inhabitants. How they will tear up his ass, if he doesn’t surrender immediately. Yada yada… Unsurprisingly, Discord had no worries, so while they entertained him, he sat upon his massive throne with a smug grin while sipping chocolate milk.

As a result, my girls zapped him with the Elements without a struggle. To my great shock and dismay, it rapidly petrified him… They were successful, certainly, yet it left a bitter taste in my mouth. This fate was certainly not what I wanted for my son. Even I, its constructor, was surprised by the extreme reaction of the Elements of Harmony. What had he, my son, planned?

You see, this weapon had some resemblance of sapience and free will, it was not mindless, unlike conventional weapons. Even the word weapon is misleading in a sense. This “device”, for a lack of a better word, could conduct judgment on its own, but non-lethal in its nature. It had the ability to read minds and see intentions in the final moment of judgment when the multi-hued beam hit its target, both jury and executioner in a way.

I created it for one sole purpose — to ensure the continued existence of this planet. It and its bearers were intended as some kind of insurance against a repetition of the incident with my son — a peacekeeping force if you will. But I had hoped it was also a way to redeem him. If he ever found a way back to sanity and reason, it was not supposed to harm him, or anyone for that matter, who had good and pure intentions.

I was torn, I could free him, or even remove him of his powers. Yet, I didn’t do anything about my son’s imprisonment. I believed it to be justified, believing it would save him. But now that I see things more clearly, I realize how cruel I was, having experienced the utter, agonizing boredom of being unable to interact with the world. Being trapped in stone was hardly better than being trapped in an endless void. Though he never did tell me if he was conscious throughout the time spent in there.

Yet, in another sense it was almost karmic justice, I didn't realize it at the time but it appears my son was as crafty as ever for he had imbued the elements with his essence. Being a weapon I created, I knew that he couldn’t modify it beyond its purpose, so he found loopholes. For the safety of this plane, the bearers of the elements would become ageless, forever a thorn in my side, or a mixed blessing in the case of my daughters…. Their judgment of him was… elevated in a sense, as he doomed himself when he tried altering the punishments available. He was even responsible for the tree of harmony that sprouted forth when he fell. The tree absorbed much of the chaotic magic he unleashed but at the same time created a haven for it. This was the Everfree, a land where nothing save itself can change it.

But I had to move on, I believed myself to be a master in suppressing “unpleasant” memories, if not I might have gone insane over the many tragedies I have witnessed, created, masterminded, or even experienced myself. As such I swept him under a rug at that time, he would come back to me eventually, and so I returned to my vigil.

I knew I had a lot to do, a lot to repair: My son’s creations were still out there wreaking destruction all over the planet. And I, as the one of three beings capable of hunting them down was responsible for dealing with them. While I was responsible for hunting most of them down, I decided I would leave Equestria to my daughters as they had chosen to rule over it, saving it from the many power struggles that would soon dominate most of the globe for years to come.

However, in the coming centuries I would learn that I could never truly eradicate his influence from this planet completely. There were bastions of chaos I could never tame, the Everfree included.... Not because it was not in my power to do so, but rather that if I had tried with my full power, the planet would suffer from my actions on a global scale, possibly mass extinction, as the magic was too interwoven with the existing order of things.

These chaos saturated spots had the tendency to expand and spread much like cancer if not suppressed properly. As such, I became the human equivalent of chemotherapy. My only chance at halting their expansion was to seal them and let them be. And though I was very skeptical first, these chaotic spots on the map proved to be just the thing my creation had lacked.

They were the uncertainty this world had missed. Even I was often surprised what crawled out of these hellholes in the years to come. Changelings for example — they were nothing but corrupted ponies, poor souls who had been exposed too long to the chaotic energies, which lingered in these tainted lands, and were merged with insects originating from the southern wastelands. Then there were the Manticores, Timber Wolves, Leviathans, Hydras, Parasprites, and so many more. These spots proved to be a challenge, but not a problem. A reminder of what could have been, but never came into existence. They were a memorial of my failure.

Meanwhile, under the rule of my two daughters, Equestria flourished in a second golden age. The Princesses, that’s what they were called now. They wished to disconnect themselves from their predecessors like Platinum, there would be no Queens or Kings. And so they continued their duty, raising the moon and sun. They established the pegasi weather routines, in order to restore agriculture, and the seasons. It was under their reign that Canterlot came into existence, the new capital of Equestria. The old capitol located in the Everfree, was soon forgotten as few wished to venture forth into the depths of that forest.

Speaking of my son, the draconequus had so thoroughly disrupted the balance that almost everything that formerly worked, needed to be controlled now. I could only intervene so much without causing more damage than I was fixing. So I instead focused on other matters that I could handle, like the containment of the chaotic areas, and my personal favorite, monster hunting. Some of Discord's champions still existed, most too powerful for the native to handle. For them I established what today is known as Tartarus — and one after another I banished them.

However, with Luna’s and Celestia’s guidance ponykind managed to fix most problems themselves without my help, even offering assistance to struggling neighboring nations, laying a foundation for the millennia of peace to come. The misery was banished from their lands and there was hope again for this lost planet.

In the coming centuries the sciences flourished, many great thinkers, merchants, mages, and engineers came from all around. Equestria became the known for its magical prowess, the greatest of them was Starswirl the Bearded, the father of modern, spell-based magic. Griffonia became a massive trading hub along the coast and mountain ranges. The newly emerging Crystal Empire was a kingdom founded by Equestrian separatists in the wake of my son’s rise to power, seeking a land of their own. Zebrica was a remote island nation that dabbled in shamanistic magic and unusual potions. The Diamond Dogs, Dragons, and Sea Ponies each kept to themselves.

The most impressive improvement was however not achieved in the country of friendship and harmony, but in the lands of the formerly uncivilized tribe of Minotaurs. They formed a nation, quite similar to the ancient Roman Republic, not the Empire mind you — the Republic of Minos, an industrious and thriving nation, the home of mechanics and early steam power.

Everything seemed fine, for almost a decade passed in peace, but there was once again trouble brewing at the horizon. You see, like Discord, I was overconfident. I never would have guessed he would have kept a diary of when he was still the ruler of the realm, he always despised constants like that. Perhaps I didn’t know him as well as I had hoped. It was inevitable I suppose, that one day, my daughters would come across it. After all the castle in the Everfree contained the Tree of Harmony, and other relics of the past.

It was Luna that found it in the end, and the book greatly disturbed her. My relations with the girls were already rather distant, but the gap only grew further in the years to come after this cursed book was opened. I can only guess that it must have depicted my relation to the madman, the fact that I was his father. She may now know about the creation of this planet, and how I formed its history with blood and tears. But its contents are lost, as the two sisters destroyed for whatever reason. There was so much it could have said, my son, his motives, and thoughts. If I only could have gotten my hands on it.…

But it was not to be, for only later would I find out about its existence when it was already too late. This damned book. Was it his intention that someday one would find it, only created for that single purpose to cause me trouble once again? Yet another “present” left behind from my son?

I think this was when they began to connect the dots — that they started to understand the horrible truth and with it their view on the world was shattered. I know I was not the best dad, I think that is clear to you by now, but to them I was always a paragon for what was just and right, the highest moral authority. A ruler with a strong hand, but also a father, who secretly shared their hidden kindness and care for any being under the sun. Oh, how both right and wrong they were.

I’m sure, at first they didn’t believe the words of the madman, their vile enemy — that would have been just ridiculous. But I raised my daughters well, for they thoroughly searched through the facts. At first I imagine it was only to dissuade the claims of my son. Now, in contact with the world, my daughters were becoming less and less naive, they quickly became aware how easily one could be fooled. It was only a matter of time at this point, as they began to double check the bits and pieces of information they had with historical sources and scribes. For this purpose their diplomats began to establish friendly relations with their neighbors. And in turn their archaeologists gained access to many old sites, allowing them to recover long lost secrets of the past. They went so far as to even ask the oldest mortal beings in existence, the Dragons, for help.

And with every little bit of information their desperation must have grown — as all of it pointed in the same direction. They knew what I was capable of, that it was indeed in my power to do what my son claimed. Why, would I allow such things to happen if it was within my power to stop it? Why if but with a thought I could end all of the suffering and pain, did I not? Why did I avoid talking about my past? Why would I want to disturb their precious harmony? A being of my power had been involved, these parts of history were undeniable.

Yet, these were writings of the past, and the past is written by the victors. I believe they were unsure, but as a result they became wary of me. Did they fear me? I… do not know. I do know that they lacked the power to bring me down though. But I always wondered if they would try and reform me. In any event nothing like that came of it, whether it was through fear, denial, or belief they did not seek me out.

Maybe they believed me to be one who found their way to hell on a road paved with good intentions. Either way, I was no longer to be trusted, a subject they would not broach nor wish to speak of. Progress was only made by the absence of contact and lot of harsh words later on. That was when I knew what had passed.... But let’s face the truth, they were not entirely wrong — the naivety of young ones and the cynicism of the old don’t tend to get along well.

How can someone still care if he sees countless generations turn to dust? If one of their lifespans is like watching a commercial? And even if you wanted to, you can only see them as insects, so powerless and fragile that a single misplaced step could end their pathetic lives. Would you consider it a crime if you killed an imaginary friend? Then again this did become my reality….

I presume this was the first of many issues which lead to Lulu’s fall. Luna… she had always been my favored daughter. I love them both, but Celestia was always more mature, and kept a more skeptical and distanced nature. I can only guess, that this caused a great number of arguments between them, after the whole problem with me arose. She must have felt betrayed, both by her own sister and her father.

If it only was that, though…. It could have been fixed, a wound healed with time. But on the thirty first year of their combined rule, a chain of events came to pass. Sombra came to rule the frozen north with an iron hoof, using dark magic as he and his demonic and undead minions laid claim to the area. He would instill fear in the masses by sacking and burning the smaller villages, raising the fallen back to life to fuel his campaign. He created a massive army feeding off the destruction and fear he created, yet his rule only lasted for a short time before my daughter's trapped him in a spell which unfortunately took the empire with him. He had bound himself to it, he would not die so long as it existed, and so it too was trapped.

But this was far from the end of it. A rare few had known what Sombra once was to Luna. Before being corrupted by dark magic, Sombra was little Lulu’s lover, a great sorcerer, a noble destroyed by his own ambitions when he dabbled in some tainted objects left behind by Discord. This… set her down his path, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Lulu had to figure out why everything in her life was broken. If her sister had helped her in this dark hours… if only I had been there for her. If I for once had been the one person she needed, not a distant father, who for all she knew, didn’t care about her. Instead I was a coward… I… did not think it was my place to intervene.…

So, when the public became aware of her illicit affairs, the masses were seething, the city criers began spewing forth propaganda against her. Believing her to be the demon in the night, the one influencing the events behind Sombra. I wonder, if only had their little ponies been more accepting, kind and tolerant towards the dark mare... would things have been different? The past is done, and I should have known Luna curiosity would drive her to finding out what had changed her lover so much. And so she too, became corrupted by the damnable objects my son had left behind.

Everything after this was history.… They fought, Celestia won, and Luna was banished.… Celestia and I had a pretty nasty fall out shortly after explaining what had come to pass. Yet, order was once again established. Not that it wouldn’t be threatened from time to time, guys like Tirek continued to challenge the establishment. But this time the world would have to survive without the elements for they needed new bearers, Celestia had left them in the ruins of the Old Capital, where she would not have to dwell on what they used to represent...

I returned to my silent vigil, brooding over my past mistakes. I must admit that I was lax in my duties, time didn’t mean as much as it used to, anyway… Excuses, I know. I was too ashamed and I guess a little depressed.

Don’t look at me like that, ok?

I was at my weakest — completely guilt-ridden. I had lost the connection to my creations. And I did nothing to change it, too lethargic to escape this devious circle. I had a lot of things to think about, finding a new perspective in life. It was then that… I decided to assist them from the shadows.

Unlike Discord I could not simply end Luna’s banishment. Once again my son’s twisted magic had left me with few choices. Luna had become bound to the moon, the corrupting magic my son left behind had bound her in such a way that should I forcefully remove her, I would shatter what little order the world still had left. Even in this instance Luna may not survive. So I looked elsewhere, but found nothing, save for the elements. Yet, I could find none that were able to bear them.

I had to continue playing the waiting game… Time passed slowly, and in the end I barely recognized that a millennia had passed. Which finally brings us to the present. I will try to be brief, as I’m sure this has dragged out long enough for you. This was when things truly became interesting again, for through my meddling and a chain of events. I eventually connected a group of mares together. They would become the new bearers of the Elements of Harmony.

I was overjoyed when I saw my plan come to fruition. The new bearers had passed the challenges set before them, though I did shield them from the truly nasty things my possessed daughter had sent after them. I was ecstatic as I witnessed my daughter being cleansed of Discord's magic. I had done what I could for once, it was the least I could do. I did want to reinstate a connection with Luna, too, but as always I found a reason to postpone it, even now I guess.

And so a great weight was lifted from my being, not all of it mind you but I was content. I found great pleasure in watching the Elements renewed meddling with the world. If their life was a TV show I’m certain it would be an exceptionally successful one. I enjoyed their little adventures so much that I sent villain after villain, disaster after disaster after them to keep them occupied and entertaining. I think I went a bit overboard with that, though. Since the six mares became the Elements of Harmony there was barely a week in Ponyville when nothing exciting happened and I saw the residents of the village grow rather sick of this shit. But that is a story for a different time.

And then, a year later, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, these little devils, managed to effortlessly undue what countless generations of Discord sympathisants and conspiracists could not. They released him, the second most dangerous individual on this planet.

I had rather mixed feelings about that, as it was the catalyst that lead to the beginning of the misery I’m stuck in now. I had hoped he would show that he had changed, but he did not. The first thing he did was to set up a game with the Elements. Before resuming what he had more than thousand years ago — although in hindsight it seemed like he was holding back somewhat, his sole focus was wreaking havoc all over Equestria.

I know he was planning something, perhaps it was to teach me a lesson, but still I helped the new bearer’s progress. Much like before, when confronted by the elements, he was unperturbed, as if he would be victorious. It did not matter, I had seen to it that he would not be able to influence them again. Yet, upon being blasted with the elements for a second time, he smile was one of deranged glee. I’m still unsure of how exactly he did it, but he was not the only one affected by its harmonious magic. While he was turned to stone once again, something else happened to me. Something I didn’t even believe to be possible. That bastard found a way to share its link with me through him somehow.

What started with a pulling sensation right when the Elements started to shine with power, soon increased to a deep uneasiness when the beam hit my son. Then from one moment to the next I was gone from my personal plane. That shouldn’t have happened.

It was a familiar sight that greeted me....

I saw the planet, my planet. But that was not what was alarming me — slowly it was coming nearer and nearer. I felt powerless, weak, no longer in control of my own fate. Through my descent, the feeling of powerlessness increased. I was like a meteor entering the atmosphere shredding into nothingness, little pieces of me, pieces of my power were broken free, and continued their fall on their own.

Then the impact in this god forsaken forest. And here I am at the end and the beginning of my story. Most of my former strength is gone. Was I still immortal? I don’t know nor am I eager to find out. I guess this is my payment. As the realization sets in, I’m sure I won’t go without a fight.

I suppose I don't have many options left, I must reclaim what is mine. I cannot allow my daughters to find out just how far I have fallen. Pun not intended. For if they knew of my current state…. I wonder, would they would seek to end me? Perhaps they would try to confine me, seek petty vengeance upon me, hold me accountable for my past sins, or maybe even seek to redeem me. I suppose it doesn't really matter, as I have rambled on long enough, the path before me is clear, the only question is will you join me on this journey?

Author's Note

AN, DeepThought:

Hello, and welcome to this story. New chapters will be published on no exact schedule, but progress will be steady. Feel free to leave a comment and if you want to contribute... I'm still in need of a good cover art. :pinkiesmile:

Thank you, Lord of Hentai, for making this possible.