The Nightly Awkwardness of Luna

      "...and then he showed me his sandwich." Luna finished. By now, I was sure she had been...to put it bluntly, bucked. I wondered if it was just phrasing though. "...I just couldn't believe how sexy it was!" I mean there had been that problem with translation before, like when she wanted to buy a horn...

"Luna I will send you back to the moon." By now, I was long past bargaining with her. She'd never listen anyway, but I just didn't want her to make a mistake that she'd never forget. Ponies round these parts never forgot. "I will send you, and Fawkes a postcard from the 'Horny Shop'. I am going to buy a fog horn and that is final." She was already sounding a bit off, but I just put it down to excitement. I should have known that pinkie was coming.

I guess I should explain, Luna used to date a mare a little like pinkie. It didn't last though, the pony was only interested in climbing the social ladder and when Luna found out... It was nasty. I'm getting off track though.

So Luna went and came back with one thousand years worth of questions. Questions I had hoped never to be asked.

About the birds and the bees.

      Luna asked me if I would raise the moon, she and pinkie were off into town that night to explore. I should go and do that now. I just hope that pinkie keeps her safe.

      Safer. I hope pinkie keeps her safer. Being within ten miles of pinkie wasn't particularly safe.

      Me and the girls had a laugh last night. It was game night but pinkie couldn't come, and it wouldn't be the same without her. But there was one thing we could do without her...

"Truth or dare Twi?"

"Wha-"

"Truth or dare?"

"Tru-"

"Who's the stallion?"

I was shocked. Did Rarity break a pinkie promise?

"Who's your crush Twi?"

Oh Celestia Rainbow, please don't say Rarity told you pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

My frantic muttering made everypony look at me.

I fell silent.

"If you don't want to say... I guess I could just let you do a dare?"

It looked like a rope out of here but it was a trap. No-pony can ever complete Rainbow's dares without getting drunk. And revealing it anyway.

I face-hooved. There was no way out of this was there?

"It's Flash."

"Who?"

I breathed a sigh of relief as everypony turned to look at our visitor, but my relief quickly turned to fear as I realised who was with our pink friend.

Her majesty, Princess Luna. The one we shot with a rainbow.

      Twi was freaking out. I needed a distraction, but what? Suddenly, Rarity tapped me, she had seen the crazy-Twi begin to emerge too. I signaled to her with my hoof to cause a distraction.

"Your highness, may I just say that you look simply dazzling in that dress."

"You...like...it?"

Loony was acting off... Then I realised it.

My tail was twitchy.

Meanwhile...

It felt lonely raising the moon. It was almost like Luna was gone again. I sat and cried. And then a scroll landed on my head.

      My tail stopped twitching, and I felt sorry for Celestia.

      I was beginning to calm down. The tea that Spike made had helped alot. I watched quietly as Pinkie's tail stopped twitching and grew still. I watched as she whispered something in Luna's ear. At first I thought that the princess was going to freak out and I began to shake in fear. But then she started to laugh. I calmed down.

"Why did you bring Luna-" Twilight (who was now calm) began to ask.

"I thought it would be funderific if she joined us!"

"-" Twi opened her mouth to say something but my pink friend wasn't finished.

"Especially as it's game night!"

The purple alicorn fainted.

      I read the scroll.

Dear Celestia,

I hope that you don't mind the lack of notice, but we would like to invite you to game night. Then the fun would be doubled!

From Pinkie Pie and your dear sister Luna

xxx

      I contacted Cadence and Shining. They too had received one. I wiped away my tears. I still had a chance of her forgiving me.

      And this time I wouldn't waste it.

      Pinkie came to collect me, and I was giddy with excitement. I couldn't wait! After last night, I knew that a lot had changed, and I was ready for it! The last night hadn't been enjoyable though, but I was sure that pinkie could make it fun. If anypony could, it would be her.

Last time...

He lead me into a room, where he asked me to close my eyes. I obliged willingly. But then he started muttering about screaming. I began to tremble. What if this wasn't a restaurant? Then I felt something lick my face. I opened my eyes but couldn't see because it was dark. I felt something slap against my rear. I reared up to escape but something tightened around me. It felt like...rope? I needed help and fast, but the spell didn't wear off for another hour and I didn't have my horn or wings. I tried bucking but it was no use. I struggled against the taut rope which held me but it was in vain.

      "Sorry about that," growled the stallion, "I just had to take care of-" There was a crash from the kitchen and he galloped away. I heard somepony scream and somepony else yell. He returned, but not after I heard a thump, not unlike the sound of a corpse falling to the ground. "Just had to take care of some...business." He took off my blindfold and in front of me was a sandwich. A very sexy sandwich. It was an odd shape, long and wide. "It's like mine." laughed the stallion. I didn't understand, but I took a bite of it anyway.

And it squirted everywhere. My least favourite food, mayonnaise.

I kicked him in the stallion bits and left.