Bad to the Belle

Sweetie Belle slept like a rock, snoring shamelessly as she drooled over her backpack. However the scenario that was playing out in her head depicted a different story...

The unicorn found herself back inside the clubhouse where crusader meetings would be held near daily. Her surroundings seemed bigger than usual, unaware that the she was living a past event in her fillyhood. She waited eagerly for her fellow crusaders wondering what their next odd job or quest would be today.

Becoming impatient, Sweetie Belle trotted over to the window and gazed outside over Sweet Apple Acres. Celestia's sun blazed brightly in the sky as it sunk closer to the horizon. Cheerliee didn't give out any homework today, so the unicorn was puzzled with what kept her friends from showing up on time.

Were we even supposed to meet today? Did I hear wrong? Or is this some kind of prank they're setting me up for? Doubt and paranoia began to settle in as Sweetie Belle began pacing around. It didn't take long for it all to turn into boredom as the minutes felt like hours.

In the middle of her despair, the door flung open, crashing against the wall with it's force. The stunt nearly scared the mess out of Sweetie Belle as she shrieked, jumping back from the door.

“Ah'm sorry Sweetie Belle... Ah tried to get here as fast as ah could... But Applejack put me to work again,” Applebloom welcomed herself inside with a breathy apology.

“Don't barge in like that! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Sweetie Belle was planted again the wall, holding a hoof over her chest, trying to calm her pounding heart.

“Ah'm sorry, ah'm sorry! Ah didn't wanna waste time with lookin' for the key,” Applebloom glanced back at the door, seeing that the door was only hanging on one hinge now, “...Ah'll fix it later,”

“Uh... Anyways, what are we doing for crusading today?” The unicorn asked, pulling herself to her hooves.

“Umm, about that...” Applebloom's gaze bounced from object to object.

“Yeah?” Sweetie Belle drew closer as Applebloom backed away cautiously.

“Ah kinda have different plans for today...” The earth pony kept withdrawing from Sweetie Belle.

“Well, okay...” Sweetie Belle stopped in her tracks wondering why Applebloom was hesitating.

“And the other days too...” Applebloom began to sweat as she was beating around the bush.

“Oh, well how come?” Sweetie Belle started towards the earth pony again, knowing clearly that something was the matter.

“Uh... You promise you won't get mad at me?”Applebloom's rear hit the corner of the clubhouse. With nowhere to run, the young filly sat down against the wall, trying to hide something from her friend.

“Why would I get mad? You can tell me,” Sweetie Belle scratched at her mane, slightly unsure if she really wanted to hear what Applebloom had to say.

“...Ah kinda got my cutie mark...” The earth pony exposed a flank to Sweetie Belle as she turned her face away to brace for rejection.

“Oh!...” Sweetie Belle was left speechless for a few moments, eying up what was an apple lying in what looked like flower petals, “that's... Amazing Applebloom, congratulations...” The unicorn tried to sound supportive, but deep down, she felt crushed. Sweetie Belle had imagined they would all find their cutie marks at the same time, she wasn't prepared for this at all.

“Ah'm sorry Sweetie Belle, it just happened one day out on the farm...” Applebloom began to explain, “Applejack says ah have a green hoof... Whatever that means.”

“Does... Does this mean you won't be showing up to the crusader meetings anymore?” Sweetie Belle feared the answer.

“Ah'm afraid so... Applejack's puttin' me to work full time now with planting and nurturin' seeds,” Applebloom stood back up.

“...I see,” Sweetie Belle glanced away, feeling awkward and depressed.

“Anyways, ah need to get back to work, my break's almost over,” the earth filly headed for the door, turning back to speak again, “...Ah just hope you and Scootaloo can crusade without me, Ah feel so bad about leavin' y'all...”

Sweetie Belle remained silent as Applebloom took her leave. It felt as if the unicorn lost a family member. It took a few nights of crying for the pain to pass. Scootaloo took the news a bit easier than Sweetie Belle had. The two still held meetings and gone crusading, but it took some adjusting to get used to Applebloom's absence.

Both went as far as to search for a fill-in to replace the earth pony's place. But no pony really stuck around long enough to establish a real bond. Eventually the decision drew closer to just disbanding the crusaders altogether as no progress was being made. The clubhouse showed signs of decay, as Applebloom was never around to keep it in shape anymore. Depression began to slip into Sweetie Belle's life as her grades began slipping. Her friendship with Scootaloo faded as the crusaders called it quits without a word.

...Sweetie Belle woke up with her face moistened with saliva and tears. It was just another night of bad dreams.

“Disgusting...” The unicorn muttered, pulling her face away as a string of drool connected her cheek to her backpack. Sweetie Belle wasted no time cutting it off, wiping her face off with her arm. The tragedy of the Cutie Mark Crusaders still lingered in the young mares mind as she pulled herself against a crate, huddling her knees against her chest. Tears began to water up in her eyes as she resisted the urge to cry.

“Why did it have to end like that...?” Feelings of regret and remorse welled up in her heart, making it difficult to breathe. Sweetie Belle reached around for her backpack in the darkness, longing for some comfort food. In no mood to force another light, the unicorn plunged a hoof blindly into the bag, picking out whatever came first to her hoof. Resistance weakened as she quietly whimpered, pulling out a food can. A mix of emotions overtook the grieving unicorn as she grabbed the can opener.

A snap and a hiss caused Cloudchaser's ear to twitch as Sweetie Belle twisted the can open. A chain of frustrated mumbles came from Sweetie Belle as she realized she packed no spoons. She had no choice but to eat her food straight from the can. Her weeping was only broken to feed herself every few seconds.

“...You okay Sweetie Belle?” Cloudchaser whispered, shocking Sweetie Belle into silence, “...You've been crying all night, what's wrong?” The pegasus yawned as she pulled herself up to her knees.

The embarrassed unicorn couldn't bring herself to speak. She never spoke about her crusader days to Cloudchaser. Those memories dug themselves out from the grave to haunt Sweetie Belle from time to time. All they brought were unwanted sorrow and a longing for the past.

“....Don't tell me you're homesick already,” Cloudchaser joked, hoping to get Sweetie Belle to laugh.

“N-no...” Sweetie Belle placed her food on the floor, instead drawing up her tail for a cuddle companion. Cloudchaser was just as blind as her right now, the unicorn was thankful for the darkness.

“Well what is it then?” Cloudchaser begain to search for her friend by the sound of her voice.

“...J-just a bad dream, t-that's all,” Sweetie Belle tightened her grip on her tail.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Cloudchaser crawled carefully, inching her way towards the unicorn.

“N-not really,” Sweetie Belle shook her head.

“You sure? We can't just show up at Pierce’s with you crying a river, come on now...”

“I-I can deal with my own problems!” Sweetie Belle became defensive.

“Sweetie Belle.... Oof!” Cloudchaser accidentally butted heads with Sweetie Belle. The force caused Sweetie Belle's horn to light up again, exposing her insecurities to Cloudchaser. This didn't stop the unicorn from hiding her face behind her tail. Sore from the collision, Cloudchaser rubbed her head before glancing over at Sweetie Belle.

“...Come on now, this isn't the Sweetie Belle I know...” The pegasus scooted closer, “the Sweetie Belle I know wouldn't stupid emotions like sadness eat her up,” then again, Cloudchaser never seen Sweetie Belle cry. The only pony who's lived to see and hear the unicorn cry was Rarity.

“I-I said I'd deal with it!” Sweetie Belle retorted bitterly.

“Sounds more like you're living with it, come on Sweetie Belle, I want to help you,” Cloudchaser was now nearly shoulder to shoulder with the unicorn.

Sweetie Belle was silent, Cloudchaser was right, her problems were never dealt with at all.

“You won't laugh at me if I tell you?” Sweetie Belle still kept behind her tail.

“Sweetie Belle, I've known you for years. And as a friend, why would I laugh at the things that are hurting you?” The pegasus attempted to part Sweetie Belle's tail.

“...You sure,” Sweetie Belle was still hesitant if she could really trust Cloudchaser.

“I'm sure,” Cloudchaser peeled her tail down slowly, Sweetie Belle didn't resist as her red, tear soaked face was uncovered. Her wet eyes opened up to see Cloudchaser's gazing into hers. In that moment, Sweetie Belle lunged out at Cloudchaser, arms open for embrace. “Whoooa!” The force of the unicorn's tackle almost knocked the pegasus backwards. Despite being caught of guard, Cloudchaser returned her embrace just the same.

Sweetie Belle wiped away her tears as they released each other, she was feeling a tad bit stronger, ready to admit what was bugging her the most.

“I miss them...” Sweetie Belle snorted the snot back up her nose as she kept herself together.

“Miss who? I thought you weren't homesick?” Cloudchaser was thrown in a loop.

“Applebloom, Scootaloo, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders... I know I've talked down about it all these years. But the truth is, I miss those days... But at the same time, I feel cheated out on cause I was the one who got my cutie mark last and alone...” Sweetie Belle explained. “Back when I was in the Cutie Mark Crusaders, it felt like those days would last forever, as if the group itself was our cutie mark, and to be honest, I would be completely fine with that...” The unicorn sighed, holding back the tears once again.

“I know exactly how you feel Sweetie Belle,” Cloudchaser's response caused Sweetie Belle's jaw to drop, those were the last words the unicorn expected to hear.

“Y-you do?” Sweetie Belle stared back, wide eyed.

“Yes, I really do. Back in elementary school, I used to have a best friend I'd always hang out with, she was a pegasus named Flitter. We were inseparable most of the time, and sleepovers were almost every day. But just like you, that friendship didn't last forever... Flitter ended up hanging around the wrong crowd, the preppy crowd, when middle school started ending... And soon their influence had sunken into her way of thinking. She began picking on those that weren't like her and her little buddies.”

“That's gotta hurt,” Sweetie Belle cringed.

“And that's not even the worst part, she hung out with me less and less as we transitioned into highschool, and each time I questioned her about lifestyle, she'd told me not to worry about it... And if that wasn't bad enough, she stopped talking to me the instant rumors about me started spreading.” Gossip wasn't just Cloudchaser's problem either, Sweetie Belle had also gotten some heat from nasty chit chat around the school, mostly because the way she was dressed.

“And after that started, other ponies kept calling me pretty horrible things, then came the threats as well as attacks... I almost got raped once too. All because I lost my best friend,” Cloudchaser's gaze fell to the floor.

And I thought I had it bad... She nearly got raped! Sweetie Belle sympathized. “I guess we have more in common than I thought...” Her lips curled a little, thankful she came clean about her past.

“Yeah... I'm glad we had this talk,” the pegasus admitted. “I was just too afraid to tell you before because I thought you'd think I didn't treasure our friendship over the past. Honestly, I couldn't be more thankful to have you as my friend Sweetie Belle, but I just can't help thinking of what could have been... You know?” Cloudchaser felt awkward.

“Don't worry, I have those thoughts all the time,” Sweetie Belle chuckled, not feeling guilty about her longing for the past anymore.

“Still, can't change the past, might as well make best of what we can right now, right?” Cloudchaser shrugged.

“Yeah... We're starting fresh now, once we hit Manehatten, we'll be making history that we'll actually enjoy,” Sweetie Belle leaned back on the box, already letting her mind wander.

“Definitely,” Cloudchaser nodded with a yawn, “...Dunno about you, but I'm still tired, so I'm gonna go back to sleep,” the pegasus crawled back to her backpack.

“Okay, I might too in a bit,” Sweetie Belle glanced over at her own backpack, wondering if she read more of her old journal.

“G'night,” Cloudchaser curled up against her backpack.

“Night...” The unicorn lowered her voice slightly. A few moments passed before Sweetie Belle leaned over to grab her diary.

Ugh, gross Her backpack was still drenched with her drool and tears. She held her breath and grit her teeth as she fished out her journal. An exhale of relief passed through her lips as she drew out her journal. Before cracking it open, Sweetie Belle wiped her hoof off on her tail. The light on her head began to dim, letting her know time was running short before her horn needed a recharge.

Seriously? Sweetie Belle groaned, hurrying as she tore open the book. Flipping past the first entry, the next one depicted her first first crusade with the gang. Knowing her horn light wouldn't last much longer, she paged through to an empty sheet. “Umm...” She thought over what to write down for a moment.

Well it's been awhile,

She pushed out some more magic juice to record her thoughts on the paper.

And I might not be a crusader anymore, but it doesn't stop me from having an adventure. Right at this moment, me and my friend Cloudchaser are on a train right now heading towards Manehatten. She says she's got a friend who'll help us out once we get there, Prody Pierce or something like that. He supposedly owns a tattoo and piercing shop. To be honest, I wouldn't mind getting a tattoo... Or two. I'm just afraid of the pain... Anyways, light's getting dim and I should probably getting some sleep right now

-Sweetie Belle