"The world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming "
Helen Keller
I can't even remember anymore. I can't remember much of the day I lost my best friend. However, what happened after I remember quite well. I can perfectly recall the funeral, all of the ponies who said "I'm sorry" or "It'll be okay." They were wrong, you know. It wasn't okay and still isn't. Spike is still gone and he still is.
When it happened, I refused to believe it. I was in denial for so long that I don't know exactly how long he's been gone. Not how long I thought he was gone, but how long he was really gone.
The funeral was held a month after his death, due to the fact that it took me that long to accept it. It wasn't pouring rain like it does at so many other funerals. Instead, it was a bright sunny day. A gentle breeze blew through the large field were the event was being held. I remember every pony crying, weeping, sulking. There wasn't a dry eye or a face with a smile upon it. Ponies had gathered around Spike's small grave, which was marked by a rather fitting tombstone. It was in the shape of a heart and had flames carved into it as a design. In ruby letter, it read "Spike - Dragon, Friend, Family Member, Inspiration." Every pony was waiting in mostly silence for the ceremony to start. The few whispers in the crowd instantly died as Princess Celestia stepped up in front of the crowd. We all watched as she turned around and prepared to speak.
"Ladies and gentlecolts, today were mourn the passing of a true friend and hero known to Equestria, Spike the Dragon. In the Crystal Empire, he is known as Spike the Brave and Glorious. There couldn't have been a more appropriate title for him. He was brave and the friendships he shared were glorious. I personally had known Spike for many years. When I heard of the news, I was instantly consumed by grief. He has been a loyal assistant to the royal family for years and deserves no less than to be remembered for the extraordinary dragon that he was." She then turned and faced Spike's grave directly. "Sleep well, Spike. Equestria will miss you."
As Celestia made her way back into the crowd, I saw her heading in my direction. The whole time I had been staring at the ground, but now I lifted my head to address my mentor. Before either of us could speak, she embraced me in a hug.
"Twilight?"
"Yes, Princess?"
"Please take it easy on your studies for a while. Give yourself some time."
Hearing these words reassured me. I knew that the princess cared and wanted the best for me. I already knew that, but it is still nice to hear. After she had left, my family walked over to comfort me next. Shining Armor and Cadence quickly hugged me from two sides. They cradled me for what seemed like forever, before breaking it off and casting me two more concerned glances. After them, my parents were next. My mother kissed my cheek and wrapped me in another hug. My father then joined her and added himself into the hug.
By my side were my best friends. Of course they were here. There were Spike's friends as well. They took it as hard as I did. Almost. Rainbow Dash was in a worse state than I thought she'd be. I guess years of pulling pranks together had developed a strong bond between her and Spike. At the funeral, she weeped with the rest of us and payed her respects. I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw a small purple gem tucked under her wing.
Pinkie Pie was a mess. After Spike passed away, she hadn't thrown one PARTY. Surprisingly, Pinkie wasn't constantly crying like we expected her to be. She just secluded herself from the rest of us and refused to let anyone see her. Pinkie locked herself in her room and didn't come out for two weeks. Finally, we told her about the funeral and she came out.
Applejack was probably the strongest of us. She only shed a few tears, but we could tell she was just as DEPRESSED. She buried her grief in her work, bucking apples to relieve the pain. But it was still there and always would be, no matter what Applejack did. At the beginning of the funeral, Applejack thanked Spike for all the help he have her with the farm. Once she was done, Applejack quickly trotted offstage and finally broke down.
Fluttershy wasn't the same. The difference was subtle, but it was still there. She used to enjoy taking care of animals and tending to her needs. Now she considers it more of a chore. Spike and her were good friends, so when she find out he was gone, Fluttershy collapsed on the spot. We carried her back to her cottage where she weeped for three days straight.
Besides me, Rarity took his death the hardest. It was so unexpected, so none of us were all right. But Rarity was worse. Years of Spike fawning over her had given Rarity strong feelings for him. I talked to her after the funeral, but she was completely out if it. Her mane was unkept, makeup undone, and her eyes reflected unimaginable amounts of pain. She hasn't designed one dress since his passing. It's too hard to do without Spike assisting her.
Then there's me. No pony really knew how much Spike meant to me. I hatched him, raised him, and comforted me when he needed it. But what no one knows is that he did the same for me. Whenever I was down, Spike was the one who picked me up. If I ever stayed up too late reading, he would forcibly close the BOOK and carry me to bed. Living with someone for so long attaches you to them. I am not afraid to say that Spike was my brother. Actually, he was more of a brother to me than Shining Armor was. So when he passed away, I just lost myself. He was the one creature in all of Equestria that cared about me one hundred percent of the time. Even if I didn't care about him. Whenever we fought and I got mad at him, Spike always seemed to be the one who ended up apologizing, even if the whole ordeal was my fault. That's just who Spike was.
It's been hard living without my number one assistant by my side. My friends and family have tried to comfort me, but it's not working. Spike was like a torch. He had a burning spirit with fire in his eyes and in his heart. Whenever I was in the dark, he would always come along to LIGHT the way. But he's gone now and he has been for who knows how long.
I'm in front of his grave right now. The funeral was two days ago, but still ponies come by to pay their respects. However, for the moment I am alone. It's just me and Spike. But I know that isn't true. It's not me and him. It's just me. Before my train of thought could go any further, I heard the sound of approaching hoofsteps. I looked behind me and saw my best friends trotting towards me. They wore sad smiles and tears still streaked their faces. I turned to face them and was instantly thrown of my feat. This was probably due to the fact that Rainbow Dash had just tackled me, except it wasn't a tackle. It was a hug. Rainbow threw her hoofs around me and buried her head into my shoulder. Soon after, Fluttershy flew over and joined in the hug. Then the rest of my friends, one by one. We all sat there for a moment, embracing each other and providing the comfort that we all desperately needed.
When we broke apart, they all gave me a look that I could never forget. Their faces didn't show grief, pain, or sorrow. Instead, they wore expressions of pure hope. That's when I realized what they were trying to tell me. I knew Spike was gone and would be forever, but he was still with us and always would be. Even though the torch's flame had gone out, no one would ever forget the light it provided.
