Chalkpocalypse

by Regidar

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random, Rumble
Length: 1075

A chronicling of the lost land of Chalkandia and its luckless inhabitants.

In the far off land of Chalklandia, Chalklight Sparkle and her friends all live normal lives.

That is, until one fateful day, their sworn enemies descend upon their lands and change everything...

Published 2014-10-12 03:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-12 03:00:02 UTC

Let's Chalk This One Up To "Drugs"

A long time ago, in a land far beyond the reaches of Equestria, there was a land made all of chalk, two dimensional and grainy, held together by the fine grains that made up their reality. This land was creatively named “Chalklandia” by its inhabitants.

In a small town, Chalkville, there lived a unicorn named Chalklight Sparkle; she was best friends with five other chalk ponies: Flutterchalk, Chalkbow Dash, Chalkity, Chalky Pie, and Applejack.

Chalklight stepped out into the large white plane that made up, and breathed in the chalk dust that was always present in the air through her large, chalky nostrils.

“Ah, what a glorious day to be drawn!” she said, smiling at the world around her. “The chalk birds are tweeting, the grass is immobile, and Princess Chalklestia is making her rounds through the sky, erasing the sun with her little chalk hooves and redrawing it to ensure the passage of the day!"

“Hello, Princess Chalklestia!” Chalklight called up to her. “How are you doing this fine day?”

“Wishing for the sweet release of death, just as always!” Chalklestia panted, her chalk legs and wings aching from the constant erasing and redrawing.

Chalkight let loose a loud laugh and rolled her eyes in jest. “Oh, Chalklestia, you always crack me up!”

Chalklestia groaned as she erased the sun for the upteenth time that day.

Chalklight whistled a happy little tune to herself as she skipped her way across the flat line that lead to the only building in town: Chalkstick Corner. This is where Chalky Pie made all of Chalkville’s tasty treats, from chalk cake to chalk pies and chalk muffins. Chalklight herself preferred to snort the chalk straight up her nose, because she’s a hardcore motherfucker like that.

Walking up to the wall of Chalkstick Corner, Chalklight erased part of the line that made it up and stepped through it, trotting up to the counter. There, Chalky Pie was crushing sticks of chalk, having seen Chalklight erase her way through the walk.

“Heya, Chalklight!” Chalky exclaimed, pushing over the mound of chalk dust towards Chalklight. “I’ve got your stuff right here!”

“Thanks, Chalky! How much do I owe you?” Chalklight asked.

Chalky giggled. “Consider it on the house, Chalklight!”

Chalklight smiled at her friend. “Aw, you’re the best, Chalky.” And with that, she slammed her face into the pile of chalk, inhaling like there was no tomorrow.

Which there wouldn’t be.

There was a mighty rumble, and then a crash that echoed from somewhere outside. Chalklight brought her face up from the pile of chalk dust, her eyes wide and her teeth sliding against each other, slowly grinding down from both the speed and the force at which she was doing it.

When the room suddenly disappeared from around them, Chalklight had at first thought that the chalk dust had already taken effect, but after a few moments, deduced that that was stupid. After all, it took at least FIVE minutes for any sort of chalk dust high to start.

“Chalky, what’s going on?” Chalklight asked. Before her friend could answer her, it became all too obvious what was going on.

With a huge whooshing noise, a large blur of black consumed Chalky and the rest of chalkstick corner, leaving by only a thin trail of chalk particles in its wake. Chalklight screamed in horror, and lept back through the hole in the wall she had created just moments earlier, and fled down the street.

“OH SWEET CHALKLESTIA!” Chalklight looked up at the sky eyes wide in fear.

“What is it, Chalklight?” sweet Chalklestia asked, pausing in her endless routine of erasing and redrawing.

Chalklight trust her hoof up at the sky. “ERASERS!”

It was true. At least ten of them were bearing down on all of Chalklandia, as far as the little eyes of the chalk ponies could see. There were erasing everything in sight, destroying all that they could. These invaders had no reason, no purpose for doing this. It was simply their life, to destroy all of the work that the chalk ponies had created.

Chalklight opened her mouth to scream in horror uselessly once more, but an eraser soon reduced her to but a faint dusting of chalk remnants. The rest of the town soon followed all submitting to the chalkocaust that the erasers were bringing down upon them.

“Yes, death at last!” Chalklestia cried out in joy, a chalky tear running down her cheek. “Take me, oh sweet deliverers of heaven!”

An eraser swiped out her sun, and another one took her body out. All that was left of Chalklestia was her head, sitting there, suspended in space.

“Wait... you missed a spot. The most important spot. Take me now!” Chalklestia closed her eyes and waited. When death did not come, she opened one eye, and looked around.

The erasers had gone, all of Chalklandia having been erased. She was simply sitting there, alone in the empty world around her, a head without the ability to move or really do anything at all except speak and blink.

“It’s not fair,” Celestia choked out, more tears, these ones of frustration and sorrow, leaking down her cheeks. “IT’S NOT FAIR!”

“So, what do you think?” Rumble asked Cherrilee, his face beaming as he presented her his story.

Cheerilee flipped through the pages if the story once more before looking up at Rumble, jimmies rustled visibly in her expression.

“We-ell...” Miss Cheerilee said with a pained expression on her face, an odd mix between a forced smile and a grimace. “I think the school psychologist would really like to see it!”

“Ugh, again?” Rumble whined. “You send me to him every creative writing class!” With his tail between his legs, his story in his mouth, and a trail of bitching behind him, he began to walk towards the door so he could head out to the cardboard box on the other side of the playground that the psychologist used as his office.

“Well, maybe if you weren’t such a weird little fuck, we wouldn’t have to go through this every week,” Cheerilee muttered under her breath and Rumble’s supple buns jiggled away.

“What?” Rumble turned around to look at Cheerilee.

“I said ‘it’s for your own good, Rumble!’” Miss Cheerilee called back, before sighing and pouring half a bottle of bourbon into her “Equestria’s Number 123rd Best School Teacher” mug.